Directions: Read through this sample essay. It is well structured and addresses the question, but it is weak on vocab.

Can you see what the

problems are?
We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important One of the signs of this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned.
While I understand that argument, my view is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want.

The biggest reason for objecting to extreme sports is that they can be very dangerous and can sometimes kill people. More than that, it is not just the
sportspeople who are in danger, but spectators too can be badly injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may be hurt and it is
possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is understandable why people want the government to ban these sports.
The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be
allowed to and the government cannot say what they should do. Many dangerous sports are also not very risky and it is as dangerous doing everyday
activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
I think that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should also make certain that there is as little danger as
possible because safety is the most important thing. This is most important for young children.

Directions: Read through this sample essay. It is well structured and addresses the question, but it is weak on vocab. Can you see what the
problems are?
We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important One of the signs of this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned.
While I understand that argument, my view is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want.

The biggest reason for objecting to extreme sports is that they can be very dangerous and can sometimes kill people. More than that, it is not just the
sportspeople who are in danger, but spectators too can be badly injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may be hurt and it is
possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is understandable why people want the government to ban these sports.
The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be
allowed to and the government cannot say what they should do. Many dangerous sports are also not very risky and it is as dangerous doing everyday
activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
I think that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should also make certain that there is as little danger as
possible because safety is the most important thing. This is most important for young children.

Directions: Read through this sample essay. It is well structured and addresses the question, but it is weak on vocab. Can you see what the
problems are?
We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important One of the signs of this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned.
While I understand that argument, my view is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want.

The biggest reason for objecting to extreme sports is that they can be very dangerous and can sometimes kill people. More than that, it is not just the
sportspeople who are in danger, but spectators too can be badly injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may be hurt and it is
possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is understandable why people want the government to ban these sports.
The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be
allowed to and the government cannot say what they should do. Many dangerous sports are also not very risky and it is as dangerous doing everyday
activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
I think that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should also make certain that there is as little danger as
possible because safety is the most important thing. This is most important for young children.

Corrections with feedback:

We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important. One of the signs of this people want the
government to ban dangerous sports. While I understand that argument, my view is that people should be free to
do whatever sports they want.
We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. One of the signs of this is the demand
that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, my view is that, within certain limits,
people should retain the freedom to participate in whatever sports they choose.
The biggest reason for objecting to dangerous sports is that they can be very dangerous and can sometimes
kill people. More than that, it is not just the sportspeople who are in danger, but spectators too can be badly hurt. If, for
example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may be hurt and it is possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because
of this danger, it is understandable why people want the government to ban these sports.
The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly dangerous and
sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who are at risk, but spectators too can be
seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not escape unharmed and there is also a
chance that a bouncing tyre or debris will fly into the crowd. Given this level of danger, it is understandable why
people call for the authorities to take action.
The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone wants to jump out of a
plane, then they should be allowed to and the government cannot say what they should do. Many dangerous
sports are also not very risky and it is as dangerous doing everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a
meal as bungee jumping.
The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose. So, if someone wishes to
freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it should be accepted that it is not the place of
the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability
of injury in many so-called dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as
crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.
I think that that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should also make
certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is the most important thing. This is most important for
young children who cannot make their own decisions.
My personal view is that while the government and other authorities do need to regulate dangerous sports, it
would be preferable not to impose a ban on them entirely. I would suggest that safeguards need to be established
so that any risk is minimised. What these safeguards are will vary from sport to sport, but safety has to be paramount,
especially where minors are involved.