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Pamela was beautiful even when she was flustered, Basile realised.
"For a moment I thought you’d changed your mind," he said with relief,
"My daughter had trouble getting the car started," she said, wiping her
With her blond bob surrounding her bright, smiling green eyes, pretty
mouth emphasised by red lipstick, she didn't look like a woman in her mid-
forties, but then she never did. The thick, green,wool two-piece seemed just
right for a woman her age, being both elegant and practical. Realising he was
staring at her, Basile swung his gaze to the in-flight magazine he had been
reading.
Ten minutes later the plane took off for Leningrad. A wave of pleasure
swept over Basile. This trip was the culmination of months of brooding and
When the seatbelt warning flashed off he leaned across and said,
"Why not?" Her smile remained in his mind like a question mark.
It was her smile that had first attracted him two years previously at the
couple of hours there, advising people on their pension and welfare rights. It
was the only chance he had to get out of his musty office near Vauxhall
Bridge. Pamela sat on the general committee. He barely paid her any
attention till she sought out his advice one day about her mother’s pension. It
was her low, husky voice that drew him. Even after he had advised her he
didn’t want her to stop talking. His own feelings alarmed him. He had only just
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got over a painful break-up with a divorced woman. At fifty one he wasn’t sure
He had noticed she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. After a few discreet
enquiries he had discovered that she was divorced from a lorry driver who
had left her for a younger woman, and that she had a twenty-year-old
daughter called Anna . Over the weeks he sought every opportunity to get to
know her more intimately but their conversation only ever seemed to revolve
The chance to get to know her better came when the Centre organised
a trip to Cambridge. On the back seat of the coach she told him a good deal
about herself, most of which he already knew. She implied that there was no-
one in her life and that she was content to live alone with her daughter.
"How about you," she suddenly said. "Is there someone in your life?"
"Not at the moment," Basile said, a little taken aback by her curiosity.
Basile blamed loneliness for the ease with which Margaret had moved
into his life. She had started as his partner at the dinner dances held at St
Peter's church hall. A small sherry afterwards soon led to coffee at his flat.
Then she began to visit him during the day, saying she was 'just passing'.
When she started to rearrange his furniture he knew the relationship wouldn't
last. It was the little things that told you most about people, he realised.
"Your trouble is you let people walk all over you," she said, before
leaving his life forever. It didn't seem to occur to her that this was exactly
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He couldn't imagine Pamela trying to take over his life, but her little
spark of interest was enough to fire up pleasant fantasies in his mind. From
that point on his throat went dry whenever she approached. The more he saw
her the harder he found it to make his big move. He was a known figure at
the Centre, one false move and he would make a fool of himself. What he
The idea came to him via one of his customers, a man called Pietro
who worked for Progressive Tours. He had just returned from a trip to Russia
and his description of Red Square in the Autumn left Basile in no doubt that
he had found the perfect romantic setting. The following week he distributed
brochures around the Centre advertising an eight day trip taking in Leningrad,
He stood beside her, close enough to smell her perfume, then stuttered,
To his amazement she put the brochure down and said, "OK then, put
my name down. As long as I’m not the only woman in the group, of course."
As it turned out there were two other women in the group of eleven
As the cabin steward placed the drinks before them, Basile pointed out the
excellent shopping to be had in Moscow, and ran through a brief list of the
sights to be seen.
"As long as I can find a mink coat," said Pamela. "I promised Anna I’d
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"I’m quite sure that won’t be a problem at all," said Basile, pleased to
be the fount of all knowledge about the Soviet Union - even if it was all from
When he told her over lunch that it might be snowing when they
After lunch she excused herself, settled back in her seat and closed
her eyes.
when he felt her head flop against his shoulder. Hardly daring to move, he
turned his face slightly to enjoy the brush of her hair against his cheek. In his
mind they were kicking through snow, hand in hand like contented lovers.
This image suddenly changed and he saw himself making passionate love to
her. The mere thought brought him out in a heat rash. The voice of the
where she was, Realising she had slept through the journey with her head on
Basile’s shoulder she lowered her eyes bashfully and said, "Excuse me."
A biting cold wind blew across the tarmac as they made their way towards the
check-in. While they waited for the bags to come down the carousel Basile
took a look round the building. Below a huge Pepsi Cola poster was a stall
selling Cacharelle and Nina Ricci perfume and a stand advertising Marlboro
cigarettes.
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Outside, Basile picked out the tour guide, a glamorous woman called
Olga who looked as though she should be on a fashion shoot. Basile grabbed
Pamela’s heavy suitcases and carefully placed them in the hold of the tour
bus. After rushing back for his own bag Basile ran back so that he could get
The roads had been cleared of snow which had been banked at either
side of the pavement. Small red flags were dotted here and there.
Throughout the two hour journey to the hotel Olga explained in perfect
English how Russia was undergoing deep political changes, especially since
At the Moskva hotel the two old widows paired off and took double
rooms. Unfortunately for Basile, Pamela's room was on a different floor to his.
With any luck, he thought, before long she’d be spending more time in his
"I expected a little bit more than this," Pamela said, placing her knife and fork
together and leaving most of her soup, ham, eggs and cheese untouched.
a few addresses on a slip of paper. Basile knew that you needed to make
contact with the locals to find out where the best places were. He returned to
the table with the triumphant smile of someone in the know. "Tomorrow we’ll
to return in time for the Russian folk band. Basile hung around the bar,
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chatting to three men from their group, most of them in their late forties and
all of whom he knew from the Community Centre. Giuseppe, a bachelor in his
late fifties, was an assistant chef at a hotel. He was arguing with a tall,
handsome man called Raul, a rep for a wine importer, about the importance
of food over service. The third man was a banqueting waiter called Luigi. He
glancing at his watch and smoking more and more of Luigi’s cigarettes.
Finally, Luigi and Giuseppe announced that they were going out on the town.
As they went to move off, Luigi said, "Why don’t you come with us?"
After half an hour the man called Raul finished his drink and said, "I’m
after all. In the time he’d waited he’d drunk half a bottle of vodka and smoked
the best part of a packet of cigarettes. He stubbed out the last one and
read a book but the words yielded up no meaning. It had, after all, been a
tiring day for everyone, he told himself as he lay on the bed. It had obviously
Next morning Basile awoke early with the taste of vodka in the back of his
throat. After a quick shower and a severe session with the toothbrush he
headed for the restaurant. The waiters were still rubbing their eyes when he
entered. Basile took a table in the deserted room and contemplated the day
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ahead. Over the next hour the restaurant began to fill up. Pamela hurried in
five minutes before closing time and joined him at the table.
"Sorry about last night," she said. "After I’d written my postcards I
"No problem," said Basile, getting up. "Take your time. I’ll hold the
bus."
Olga the tour guide was explaining the schedule for the day ahead. The first
stop was the Peter and Paul Fortress. Pamela stuck close by his side as they
wandered past the ancient tombs of the Russian kings and princesses. Luigi
tried to catch his eye but Basile pretended not to have seen him. As the rest
of the group followed Olga, Basile slowed his pace in the hope of losing the
others.
"Me too," said Basile. "But believe me the best is yet to come."
"Oh yes?"
heavy lunch at a nearby Georgian restaurant neither were in the mood for
sightseeing.
"For the lady," said the waiter, placing before her a plate of ice cream.
Afterwards they made their way back along Nevesky Prospekt. Though
most of the shops were closed, queues had already formed in the doorways.
Pamela said it reminded her of Oxford Street on Saturday. They turned into
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picked up two and went to pay. The stall holder wrapped them up and said,
"Ah well, it’s only money," she said as they moved through the crowds.
two small pots of caviar and two Paketa watches. Her pleasure at clinching
the deal gave Basile a warm glow. After a further turn around the square they
Concert Hall that evening, followed by the best meal she’d ever had. Tonight,
Basile hardly listened to the music in the cavernous hall. All the time he had
lived in London he’d never been near a classical concert. Tonight it was
enough to be sitting beside Pamela. He liked to think she felt the same way,
that the camel coat she was wearing, the black woollen dress, the patent
leather pumps, the expensive perfume, were all for his benefit. In the interval
they drank Russian champagne and though Basile was not familiar with
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returned to their seats the hiss of nylon as Pamela crossed her legs brought a
Then suddenly the concert was over and they were making their way
out of the hall. He helped her on with her coat, smoothing it down over her
shoulders. Then they stepped out into the cool Russian night, her arm linked
with his.
"To tell you the truth, classical music isn’t really my cup of tea but, yes,
I enjoyed it."
Afloat on a sea of tiny pleasures, Basile flagged down a cab and asked
"I know just the place," said the driver, putting the car into gear.
They were dropped further down Nevesky Prospekt. At first the bank of
run-down grey buildings didn’t look too promising. Basile led Pamela towards
"We were looking for the restaurant," said Basile. For a moment he
was worried that the taxi driver had dropped them at the wrong place.
A man in a dark green jacket checked in their coats, then led them up
a wide staircase. At the top they followed him through a doorway and found
about thirty tables, most of which had been taken. The man in the green
jacket gestured to a waiter who led them to a quiet table. So far Pamela had
said nothing but he could tell from her eyes that she was impressed.
After the waiter had taken their order a six piece band started up a
medley of disco songs and a group of female dancers took to the floor in
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twirled around Basile saw that they were wearing very little below. For a
Basile was about to agree when a noise at the entrance drew his
attention. A group of three men were having a word with the waiter. Basile
recognised them as the man called Luigi and his friends Giuseppe and Raul.
Basile watched Luigi slip the folded notes into the waiter’s top pocket.
By this time there was not a single free table in the restaurant. Basile kept his
head down and nervously played with his cutlery. The last thing he wanted
Before Basile could say anything more Luigi helped himself to wine
and signalled to the waiter. "And could you bring us four bottles of
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The waiter nodded, then pulled out the remaining chairs and ushered
"And then we went to the Hermitage Art Museum," Raul was saying to
Pamela. "In many ways the architecture calls to mind Venice, don’t you
think?"
"I suppose it does," said Pamela. "I’d never really thought of it like that
before."
She took out a cigarette. Raul leaned across and flipped open his
"Tell him what happened the other night," Luigi said to Giuseppe.
"One the way to Novesky Prospekt we stopped off in the city centre.
These two beautiful women came towards us. They asked us if we wanted to
change money or maybe buy some Caviar. We took a taxi to their place. We
bought a couple of watches, maybe we spent fifty pounds each, who knows?
couldn’t believe it, these two beautiful women, twenty years old. We had a
little drink, a bit of a dance." He paused, savouring the thought, and took a sip
of his wine. “We didn't even have to think about it. A few more drinks then -
"In the room the woman says to me, "Do you like Leningrad?" "Lovely
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Giuseppe sighed and lowered his head. "We woke up next morning to
Giuseppe spelled it out very slowly, lowering his head in despair. "Two
hundred dollars."
"Just as well it was counterfeit," said Luigi. "We left the real money
Pamela exchanged a look with Basile, then burst out laughing. By this
time the resident dancers had left the floor open to the diners. before Basile
could resume his conversation with Pamela, Raul turned to her and said,
She turned back briefly before Raul led her away. "I won’t be long."
his food, though he drank the wine like water. Over his glass he watched
Pamela and Raul twirling to the strains of Strangers in the Night. Luigi and
Giuseppe then took over, leaving him feeling like a spectator at someone
else’s event. Overcome with wine and irritation he got up and headed for the
toilet.
He threw cold water on his face, studied his unhappy reflection in the
"Basile," said Pamela when she returned to the table. "Why haven’t we
Basile smiled nervously. "I had that planned for tomorrow actually."
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When the night was finally over they flagged down two taxis. Basile
was about to get in beside Pamela when Raul pushed in ahead. She looked
Later, as they got into the lift, Pamela said, “Did you have a nice
evening?"
"Wonderful," she said. "It’s a pity it’s our last day in Leningrad
tomorrow."
As Pamela got out Basile said, "Don’t forget about our trip to the
Hermitage."
"How could I?" she said, as they reached an angle that led to two
corridors. Pamela glanced in the direction of his room and said, "Ah well."
Basile met her gaze and stared until sheer nervousness forced him to
look away. Then, hating himself as he spoke the words, he said, "Goodnight.
As Basile unlocked the door of his room he was sure he could hear
The others had left for a trip to the cruiser Aurora by the time Basile came
The taxi dropped them off before the Winter Palace. Basile helped
Pamela from the back seat, carefully gauging her reaction as the front of the
magnificent building came into view. Nearby, strolling by the river bank, was a
the view across the Neva, Pamela shivered in the chill wind. In that moment -
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arms and hold her close but something told him the time was not right just
yet.
He took her arm and led her to the entrance of the museum. For the
next two hours they wandered around the exhibits. Basile found he could
concentrate on nothing but her. When they finally made their way to the exit
he decided to seize the moment. He stepped forward, reached out and took
her hand.
Basile ignored her last remark. "Shall we take a walk or go back to the
hotel?"
How did you know when to make a move with a woman you really
cared about? Basile asked himself as he packed his suitcase later that
Just then the phone rang. Basile snapped up straight on the bed and
grabbed it. It was Pamela, her voice sounding like that of a little girl. "I was
wondering, when you’ve finished packing could you help me carry my bags
downstairs?"
Night was just beginning to settle over the city as they all lugged their bags
from the bus to the station platform. Basile waited till the crowd had died
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down then reached into the hold. It was empty. He went across to the tour
guide and tried to explain. She said something to the driver, then turned back
to Basile.
"He said he picked up all the luggage by the door in the foyer. Are you
Basile cast his mind back. Having seen the untidy pile of bags Basile
had thought to keep his and Pamela’s bags separate. He also didn’t like the
idea of Raul’s bags jostling with hers and providing him with the opportunity to
"As I’m sure you’re aware," the tour guide said. "There’s more than
one tour. However, if you’re certain you’ve left your bags behind you’ve got
The driver wasn’t too happy about returning to the hotel, until Basile
handed over five pounds. Back at the hotel he found Pamela’s suitcases, but
not his own. The driver had a heated discussion with the doorman. As far as
Basile could make out, his bags had been loaded on to another bus by
soon as they were located. By the time the bus arrived at the station the train
was on the point of leaving. Pamela was delighted. Basile tried to smile about
the fact that the only clothes he now had were the ones he was standing up
in.
The train was packed with tourists and all the seats were taken. Raul
had already settled into the bunk across the aisle from Pamela. Basile had to
make do with a hard seat on the corridor by the toilet. After an hour or so he
anything from the buffet. The catering assistant was already coming out of
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watched Pamela daintily sipping coffee as she chatted with Raul and his
friends.
Basile spent most of the night wandering up and down the narrow
corridor, listening to the sound of laughter drifting from the apartment. Finally,
unable to keep his eyes open, he made himself as comfortable on the bench
He awoke early next morning as the train was pulling into Moscow. The trees
in the woods at either side of the track were topped with snow. Basile
buttoned up his jacket against the cold and went in search of the buffet van.
The assistant was still rubbing his eyes, but he invited Basile to have a coffee
and biscuits. Afterwards Basile made his way back along the corridor with a
pot of coffee for Pamela. He knocked gently on the door and entered.
"What a nice thought," she said, sitting up on the bunk. Her simple
words gave Basile a warm glow. Then she turned to Luigi and said, "Would
On the platform Basile loaded the bags on to a trolley and stuck close
by the side of the porter as though his life depended on it. Their new tour
Progressive Tours?"
When everyone had gathered around Tanya the coach pulled up and
the luggage was loaded into the hold. Since he had no luggage Basile hung
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about until Pamela stepped on to the bus, then he quickly nipped on behind
her. As he settled in beside her she said, "I was sorry to hear about your
luggage."
"It’s not important," he said. "There was nothing valuable in the bags,
The smell of her perfume, the same one she’d worn on the plane,
As the bus pulled away the new tour guide went in her spiel about how
Moscow had changed and pointed out sites of historical interest. She ended
with, "As some of you will know, today we celebrate the anniversary of the
Revolution. Those of you interested in the parade might like to leave your
bags in your rooms and come downstairs. At nine thirty a bus will arrive to
collect you."
The Central Tourist House was bigger than the one they had stayed at
affected everyone who worked at the hotel. Even the receptionist smiled, a
was waiting. A short bus ride later they were in a street off Red Square. The
sight of everyone dressed up in their best clothes made Basile feel grubby,
though Luigi had let him use his razor and lent him a red scarf.
"If you look to the right," Tanya announed over the tannoy, "you will
see the basilica, famous the world over. Coming up ahead is the mausoleum
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Red Square was surrounded by red flags and huge posters of Marx
and Lenin. The locals, thousands of them, were done up in fur from head to
tanks and trailers carrying huge missiles. Martial music accompanied the
personally responsible for the warm glow in her cheeks. When she said, "It
was a good idea to organise this trip. I must say I’ve thoroughly enjoyed
After glancing around to make sure no-one from their group was
around, he put his arm around Pamela’s shoulder and gently pulled her
"Pamela, if I don’t tell you now, I never will," he began. "Here, in this
beautiful place, in this beautiful city, I have to tell you that I love you."
As he went to kiss her, she froze in his embrace then gently removed
She turned away briefly and muttered, "Oh God." Then she said, "I
She swung her gaze back towards him. "I’m sorry if I gave you the
wrong impression."
"That wasn’t the reason why you invited me on this trip, was it?"
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"But I can’t think of anything I’ve said or done which could have made
you think I saw you as anything other than, well, a friend. If I did, I’m sorry."
She glanced across at Raul who was chatting with Tanya. Basile and
explained that there were two more events in store for that evening: the
Moscow State Circus and the Bolshoi Ballet. From the murmurs of the group
She smiled. "It’s a long time since I went to a circus. Why not?"
Basile had decided it was better to have Pamela as a friend than not at
all. Any anyway, friendships had been known to blossom into romance, hadn’t
they?
The bus was due to depart from the hotel at seven. Basile was in the bath
when the phone rang. Luigi answered it and called, "It’s for you."
Basile got out quickly and pulled on his bathrobe. It was Pamela. She
told him she was tired and no longer felt up to going to the circus. Basile
masked his disappointment and told her to take care of herself and have an
early night.
At quarter to seven they were all aboard the bus. Giuseppe glanced at
"She’s not coming," said Basile. "She doesn’t feel too well."
"Strange," said Giuseppe. "I’m sure I saw her talking to Raul and
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The familiar sinking feeling returned. Before Basile could check himself
he heard himself saying, "I’ve forgotten my wallet. I’ll meet up with you later."
passengers spilling out of the four lifts. As the bell chimed once more he took
a good look at the latest crowd hurrying out towards the bus. Neither Raul nor
Pamela were among them. Basile lit a fresh cigarette from the stub of the old
one and puffed on it nervously. In twenty minutes he’d smoked half a packet.
He watched the lights flash as the lift came down yet again.
They looked like two movie stars on their way out for the evening.
Pamela, as radiant as ever, was wearing a white mink with a matching hat.
Raul was wearing a fawn cashmere overcoat. Basile ducked behind a column
through the swing doors as Raul flagged down a taxi. As it pulled away Basile
ran out into the chill night and flagged down the next one.
"Just follow that car," he told the driver, proffering a ten pound note. Up
till then he had thought that only characters in films said such things. He
wondered if the driver thought the same. Where films were concerned,
however, the actors knew how the script ended. It suddenly occurred to
As soon as Raul and Pamela were inside Basile dashed to the box
office. The woman behind the counter shook her head and told him the show
was sold out. Seeing a tout on the pavement outside, Basile pushed through
the swing doors, paid the tout ten pounds above the normal price and dashed
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back inside the foyer. It was then that he asked himself why exactly he was
following Raul and Pamela. It occurred to him that his motive was to take the
pain and sense of betrayal he felt to its logical conclusion. Then that would be
ran his eye along the stalls below and soon picked out Raul and Pamela.
Before him the ballet story unfolded, but the carefully choreographed
movement meant nothing to him. Where others were enchanted he saw only
actions without words, the hint of a form beneath the chaos. Though he
applauded along with everyone else he knew in that moment that it would be
always like this, that in his own life he would never be more than an
"Your trouble is you let people walk all over you," Margaret had said.
happen. Things happened while he was too busy thinking about whether they
When the interval came he watched Raul and Pamela at the bar. Two
people who were made for each other. Again Basile hesitated and wondered.
END
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