Four more people died in a custody battle last month in Orange County.

In Octob
er a woman was killed in a custody exchange. A cursory review of Register artic
les concerning deaths related to divorce in the past year shows more mayhem: "
Suspect in saying testifies;" Man gets 15 years to life in slaying;" "Man gets
life term in estranged wife's killing;" "Man accused of killing wife, burning he
r body;" "Man accused of killing wife to keep kids;" "Jury selection begins in b
oy's drowning;" "Husband arrested in standoff after wife's killing."
Then there were the attempts:"Costa Mesa man gets 17 years in prison for bomb, w
eapons case;" "Suspect in Wife's beating, kidnaping surrenders;" "Man accused o
f threatening pair during child exchange is arrested." This only in Orange Coun
ty. We have 58 counties in this state.
And the poignant article in December about the woman recovering still from the m
urder of her three children by their father six years ago. We remember the horr
or of the boy set afire by his father in a motel in 1983, recalled last November
as one of â The 50 Most Notorious Crimes in Orange County History.â There was anoth
er Orange County case in 1989 when three boys were shot by their father (one sur
vived, crippled) that became the occasion for a major change in court mediation
protocols thanks to the efforts of domestic violence expert Mildred Pagelow with
the mother testifying before a state senate committee.
An international and interdisciplinary organization of judges, psychologists, la
wyers and others, The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, has declare
d the treatment of children in family courts a â public health crisis.â Founded in
California in 1963 to improve the lives of children and families through the re
solution of family conflict, the California chapter recently noted in a "Declara
tion of Public Health Crisis" that an estimated half of the state's children, or
4,775,939, have been touched by or involved in the court system as a result of
their parents' actions--separation, divorce, guardianships, paternity actions, d
omestic violence, dependency actions. One of every two children they estimate,
are likely to be involved in a family court case.
Their resolution stated that "...the resources allocated to family law cases inv
olving children do not reflect the ratio of family cases to the overall work of
the court. This is ineffective and ultimately unacceptable," adding that 175 ju
dges handle the half-million new filings every year, plus the older cases, and a
t least 459 judges are needed.
The board of the California chapter declared, "there is a clear and present dang
er to the public health of the children of this State based on our society's fai
lure to adequately address the impact of child custody proceedings upon children
as a chronic, system-wide, statewide, public health crisis which impacts the pr
evious, current and future generations of California's most precious resource--i
ts children."
In 1996 there was an official committee, "Family Court 2000," that was supposed
to fix family law. Now there is a task force named Elkins to try again, and Ora
nge County member Judge Nancy Weben Stock said "the culture of divorce" will be
changed. One woman testifying last October to the task force said, "The system
forces you into combat." One bit of culture the task force draft recommendation
s cite is to change the word "custody" to "parenting plans."
That "custody" is a fighting word one can see from every newspaper headline usin
g it--it always goes with "battle." The family law killings almost always occur
in custody cases. But in order to get a divorce in California, one must check
a box asking that "custody" be "awarded" (after the battle, presumably) to one o
r both parents. And two other words go with "custody" -- "win" and "lose." The
n one must also check a box referring to "visitation." How insulting is that?
That if you do not have "custody" of your own children, you have "visitation."
And if you do not live full time with your children, child support agencies refe
r to you as an "absent" parent. One can see how the "culture of divorce" is one
of aggravation and the fostering of hostilities.
What lawyering does to that mix is another aspect. But people are opting out.
The statistics from the Judicial Council, the folks who run the courts of this s
tate, show that 65% of people doing divorces in this state are doing so without
lawyers--and that by the end of their case, 80% are without lawyers.
Will changing "custody" make a difference? Psychologist say words do make a dif
ference. Twelve states, including Texas, Montana and Florida, have made the cha
nge to "parenting plans." But this, the Golden State, rejected that proposal in
l989. And a retired appellate court judge, famous for his family law writing,
said, "Don't count on the legislature for anything." Initiative, anyone?
XXX
The Elkins Family Law Task Force will submit their recommendations to the Judici
al Council this coming spring. They will meet again in San Francisco February 1
and 2 and will accept comment in person or by email. In person commentators mu
st register by January 26. http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/jc/tflists/elkins-meetin
gs.htm

The author:
Judith A. Kaluzny, Mediator and Lawyer
149 West Whiting Avenue
Fullerton, California 92832
714 441 2355
www.judithkaluzny.com
Founder, The Safe and Sane Divorce Project