"Ladies and gentlemen, as I'm sure you all know, the Empress

Harmonica waged countless

wars in defence of her realm, which was under constant attack by the
Goats and Hens.
"Having subdued these barbarian tribes for the umpteenth time, she was
so infuriated by their
endless troublemaking that she threatened to exterminate them, once
and for all, unless their
king, Raucous II, made amends by sending her his goldfish.
"At that period, ladies and gentlemen, goldfish were still unknown in
these parts, but Empress
Harmonica had heard from a traveller that King Raucous owned a small
fish which, when
fully grown, would turn into solid gold. The empress was determined to
get her hands on this
rare specimen.
"King Raucous laughed up his sleeve at this. He hid the real goldfish
under his bed and sent
the empress a young whale in a bejewelled soup tureen.
"The empress, who had imagined goldfish to be smaller, was rather
surprised at the
creature's size. Never mind, she told herself, the bigger the better - the
bigger now, the more
gold later on. There wasn't a hint of gold about the fish - not even a
glimmer - which worried
her until King Raucous's envoy explained that it wouldn't turn into gold
until it had stopped
growing. Consequently, its growth should not be obstructed in any way.
Empress Harmonica
pronounced herself satisfied with this explanation.
"The young fish grew bigger every day, consuming vast quantities of
food, but Empress
Harmonica was a wealthy woman. It was given as much food as it could
put away, so it grew
big and fat. Before long, the soup tureen became too small for it.
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" 'The bigger the better,' said the empress, and had it transferred to her
bathtub. Very soon
it wouldn't fit into her bathtub either, so it was installed in the imperial
swimming pool.
Transferring it to the pool was no mean feat, because it now weighed as
much as an ox.
When one of the slaves carrying it lost his footing the empress promptly
had the wretched
man thrown to the lions, for the fish was now the apple of her eye.

"Harmonica spent many hours each day sitting beside the swimming
pool, watching the
creature grow. All she could think of was the gold it would make,
because, as I'm sure you
know, she led a very luxurious life and could never have enough gold to
meet her needs.
" 'The bigger the better,' she kept repeating to herself. These words were
proclaimed
a national motto and inscribed in letters of bronze on every public
building.
"When even the imperial swimming pool became too cramped, as it
eventually did,
Harmonica built the edifice whose ruins you see before you, ladies and
gentlemen. It was
a huge, round aquarium filled to the brim with water, and here the whale
could at last stretch
out in comfort.
"From now on the empress sat watching the great fish day and night watching and waiting
for the moment when it would turn into gold. She no longer trusted a
soul, not even her
slaves or relations, and dreaded that the fish might be stolen from her.
So here she sat,
wasting away with fear and worry, never closing her eyes, forever
watching the fish as it
blithely splashed around without the least intention of turning into gold.
"Harmonica neglected her affairs of state more and more, which was just
what the Goats and
Hens had been waiting for. Led by King Raucous, they launched one final
invasion and
conquered the country in no time. They never encountered a single
enemy soldier, and the
common folk didn't care one way or the other who ruled them.
"When Empress Harmonica finally heard what had happened, she
uttered the well-known
words, "Alas, if only I'd. . ." The rest of the sentence is lost in the mists of
time, unfortunately.
All we know for sure is that she threw herself into this very aquarium and
perished alongside
the creature that had blighted her hopes. King Raucous celebrated his
victory by ordering the
whale to be slaughtered, and the entire population feasted on grilled
whale steaks for a week.
"Which only goes to show, ladies and gentlemen, how unwise it is to
believe all you're told."

That concluded Guide's lecture. Most of his listeners were profoundly

impressed and
surveyed the ruined amphitheater with awe. Only one of them was
sceptical enough to strike
a note of doubt. "When is all this supposed to have happened ?" he
asked.
"I need hardly remind you," said Guido, who was never at a loss for
words, "that