Title: SM Boarding School

Paring: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Rating: PG-13
Genre: School life, romance, humor, angst
Chapter: 1/22
Warnings: Swearing, mention of sex and sensuality
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine except from the plot.
Summary: He stared at that big banner hanging over the gate entrance and read SM Boarding
School. The banner itself scared him and he inspected the school area carefully before starting to
dig in his handbag.
_____________________________________________________________________________
SM Boarding School
Chapter one
His knees were shaking and he felt the sweat starting to run down his forehead. He tried to think
that he was sweating because of the sun, but he knew too well that was a lie. His heart was
literally racing.
Why was he so nervous? He wasn't on his way saving the world or anything; he was just going to
start in a new school. Only that this was a different kind of school. And this was in Seoul, far away
from Mokpo. He swallowed when thinking about it and he already started to miss his family. You
can do this, Hae, he thought in a way of trying to cheer himself up. When he noticed that it didn't
worked he sighed.
He stared at that big banner, hanging over the gate entrance and read SM Boarding School. The
sign itself scared him and he inspected the school area carefully before starting to dig in his
handbag. Before leaving his home the man who gave him his scholarship also gave him other
necessary things, like a bunch of papers containing instructions, rules and two maps, one of
Seoul and another of the school. He took out the map of the school before grabbing his bags and
started to walk.
When passing the gate entrance he couldn't help but widen his eyes and open his mouth.
Everything was huge. The school area was surrounded by a black, thick and long fence. It was as
big as a city park, with big lawns and trees. In the middle there was a huge brown building.
According to the map that was the main building. In Donghae's opinion, it looked like a castle,
with its stairs, big door and windows. He also saw other buildings, but not as great as the main
building, looking like apartments. That was the dorms.
It was empty of people. He looked at the big clock on the main building and noticed that they
were all probably having classes. He hurried up the stairs, and had a hard time with all his bags,
before finally entering. Even inside it was deserted. He looked at his map, searching for the
reception.
Reading maps wasn't Donghae's greatest skill. He walked up and down some stairs, ran through
hundreds of corridors (it felt like there were hundreds of them) and desperately tried to at least
find some signs that would help him. He didn't even found a single person to ask for help. At first
he admired the school for its greatness now he cursed it. When being lost for almost forty
minutes he finally found the reception where an old lady with round glasses was sitting, reading a
news paper. When seeing her Donghae started to walk slower. She looked irritated and mean
and that gave him a bad feeling.
Excuse me. he said in a low voice and tried to remember how to talk without using his dialect,
like his teacher had told him to do before leaving. She turned to face him, without saying a word.
Uhm Donghae said stupidly. I was...

It was something with her eyes, Donghae thought, something that gave him the creeps. She
looked at him with almost judging eyes, or eyes that cursed him because he interrupted her very
intense reading. Did she hate him?
I-I am Lee Donghae.
Her eyes spoke for themselves; So?. She just kept staring at him, like she was a statue.
I'm new here.
Suddenly, she spoke. You're the one from Mokpo? She had a hoarse voice, like she had been
smoking non-stop for years.
I-I just wanted...Where should I...?
She turned around to her computer before typing something Donghae couldn't see. After that she
raised herself from her seat and walked out of sight. When she returned she had a key in her
hand. She gave it to Donghae. Your room is 208 she said. Leave your bags there, then come
back. she pointed up the stairs. You're in class 4-C, walk up the stairs and you'll see classroom
number twenty one. She grabbed her news paper again and made herself comfortable on her
chair. Class ends in fourty-five minutes.
Donghae had a feeling that if he interrupted her again he would regret it.
**
Having to carry all his bags by himself, Donghae moaned in frustration when seeing how far away
the dorms were. He had two suitcases and three bags, all being very heavy. When he had
succeeded in walking half the way, he dropped one of his hand bags and it fell on the ground,
spilling out all the things it had inside. Donghae moaned even louder. To his rescue he saw a boy
much taller than himself, with short black hair, walk towards him. He hoped from the bottom of his
heart that the boy would stop and ask if he needed any help, because he knew he would be too
shy to ask. And as if God had answered his prayer the boy stopped in front of him.
Do you need help? he asked and crouched down before Donghae had time to reply.
Thanks.
The two of them quickly managed to pick up Donghae's stuff and Donghae couldn't help but feel
embarrassed when exposing his cheap things; his non-designer clothing, his old second-hand
cell phone that almost didn't work and papers showing off that he entered this school almost for
free. Even so, the other didn't seem to care.
Are you the new guy? he asked instead, even though it was obvious.
Donghae nodded.
You're in room 208, right?
Donghae raised his eyebrows in surprise. Yes he said and picked up the last stuff that was left.
How did you know?
They guy raised himself. Its my room. he said and smiled, small dimples being visible in his

cheeks. The principal said you'll be arriving today. He extended a friendly hand. I'm Choi
Siwon.
Donghae smiled back at him. Lee Donghae. For just a second his worry and nervousness
disappeared.
**
Siwon sure had a lot of money Donghae didn't have to ask to notice. When arriving at their
common room, Siwon's side of the room made Donghae drop his chin. Compared to Donghaes
side Siwons side had an expensive laptop, a little television, a new desk, and an armchair.
Everything looked so expensive and it was so clean that Donghae was afraid to stay with him.
What if he litter up the room? Or even worse what if he breaks something? He nearly died of
shame when thinking about the things he brought with him; cheap clothes and some papers. Did
everyone in this school have these things?
You want to unpack? Siwon asked.
Donghae shook his head fast. He laughed nervously. I-Ill do that later Lets just go to class. Ill
change to the uniform.
Siwon and Donghae talked a lot when heading back to the main building. According to him, he
asked for permission to leave the classroom to help the new student, because they would be
sharing room. He sure was a nice person.
When standing in front of their classroom door Donghaes heart started to beat faster. His knees
started to shake and some sweat drops were visible on his forehead, just like before. Siwon didnt
fail to notice and placed a cheerful hand on the nervous boys shoulder before opening the door.
The first person Donghae saw was a tall, thin man in glasses. He was probably in his early forties
and looked pretty nice. He looked kind of dorky. The man, his Korean teacher, smiled at him.
I see you brought the new student safely. He said and suddenly, the whole class was staring at
them. Donghae tried to smile but was too nervous. Everyone he said in a loud voice. This is our
new student.
The scholarship-guy? someone said in a low voice, but loud enough for everyone to hear.
Almost everyone giggled. Donghae blushed and the teacher glared at the person saying that.
Then he turned to face Donghae with a gentle smile.
Introduce yourself.
Donghae could swear he was going to die. Today was his doomsday, he knew it. He wanted to
disappear and regretted a thousand times leaving Mokpo. Not even a nice person as Siwon could
make him see good things in being here. He wanted to go home. Hello he said politely with a
shaking voice and bowed. He could swear he still heard some giggles. Im Lee Donghae.
The teacher told him to sit down on the empty seat which was, to his luck, beside the only person
he knew.
Something made him feel uncomfortable. Well, he had felt uncomfortable ever since he sat his
foot in this damned school, but now it was different. He felt like someone was watching him,
which he first thought was because he was so nervous. But when that feeling still didnt disappear
he couldnt help but turn his head a little, to look at the people behind him. And yes, someone was
watching him; a shorthaired brunette with a slim body. His uniform wasnt putted on properly

some buttons were unbuttoned, exposing a part of his pale collar bone and the black tie was just
hanging loose around his neck. When Donghae met with the boys brown eyes he didnt turn his
face away but just turned his eyes to look at the teacher. Donghae thought that they made eye
contact by a coincidence he wasnt really watching him, was he?
But when Donghae turned around again, that person was still looking at him. And again, when the
person got caught, he looked at the teacher, still being relaxed. Donghae got even more nervous.
Why was he staring at him like that? Did he have something in his hair? Was his uniform dirty? It
was impossible to concentrate on whatever the teacher was saying now, when knowing someone
behind him, someone he had never seen in his whole life, was staring at him so intensely and yet
looking so comfortable, even though Donghae had caught him in the act. When turning around for
the third time the person wasnt looking at him anymore. Instead, the person sitting beside the
stranger, a boy with a baby face, was looking at him now. But Baby-face didnt look at him as
intensely as the stranger before had. Then, Baby-face grinned.
What the...?
Baby-face whispered something in the other boys ear, which made the boy smile and chuckle
soundlessly, showing off his gums. Donghae got a feeling that Baby-face said something
Donghae wouldnt like to hear.
Sungmin shi. Their teacher interrupted. The whole class turned to look at Baby-face. If you
have something more important than me to say, then please say it out loud.
Sungmin stared at the teacher, his eyes saying how dare you?. He gave the teacher an obvious
and cocky fake smile which made the teacher glare at the disrespectful brat. Donghae saw the
boy beside Sungmin chuckle again.
**
Whats with his attitude? Donghae asked Siwon, during their break. Their break was fifteen
minutes long, so they decided to go out and sit on a bench, enjoying the nice weather.
Hes a prince. Siwon said. Donghae widened his eyes and dropped his chin. Siwon laughed.
He would like to think so. Of course hes not a prince.
Hey, just look at this school. It wouldnt surprise me if there actually was a prince here.
They laughed, but suddenly Siwon got a serious face. He wasnt looking at Donghae, but at
something behind him. Donghae turned his face. He saw a group with almost ten people, half of
them obviously being older than them, walk towards them. None of them had putted their
uniforms on properly. Donghae felt a hard tap on his knee, and turned to face Siwon who looked
at him with a warning face.
What? he asked, but Siwon didn't respond.
They watched as the group passed. One guy was walking in front of the others, as if leading
them. He was a tall, very thin and had big brown eyes. His brown hair, almost down to his
shoulders, was styled in a way that few people would do in only a couple of minutes. The
accessories he had and his hair told Donghae that he sure was known in this school and he had
a cocky walk, his hands in his pockets. The guys passed, all of them looking at the two boys
sitting on the bench, with a nasty look. Then, one of them whispered something in another one's
ear and both laughed. This is not an unfamiliar scene, Donghae thought. He got a feeling that this
would be repeated several times, here in this school.

Who were they? Donghae asked when they were too far away to hear their conversation.
Did you have bullies in you previous school? Siwon asked. "Bastards who thinks they rule the
school?"
Donghae nodded and Siwon pointed discretely with his head.
Who was the guy walking in front of them?
Kim Heechul. He's eighteen, so he's in his last year. Siwon looked at Donghae with that
warningly face again. And if you have something called 'common sense' you won't go near him.
Donghae turned back to look at the older one more time. They were sitting on the grass, talking to
each other and laughing out loud. Kim Heechul's looks were good and he didn't look very
dangerous mostly because he was so thin. He did look scary though.
Why? Donghae asked.
Just stay away from him. Siwon had a dead serious face when speaking and Donghae knew he
meant what he was saying.
When looking at them again two other persons from before got Donghae's attention the cocky
boy from before and they guy with the staring eyes.
Isnt he that Sungmin-guy? he asked. From our class?
Siwon nodded.
Whos the one beside him?
Thats Eunhyuk. He was sitting beside Sungmin during class.
Donghae raised one eyebrow. Eunhyuk? he repeated.
His name is Lee Hyukjae, but for you hes Eunhyuk.
Something told Donghae that Siwon would rather not talk about this. Why? Is he also someone I
should stay away from?
Siwon nodded again and glanced over to the boy group. He looked bothered and the happy
atmosphere from before seemed to disappear completely, little by little. Donghae decided to
cheer up the mood a little.
What if I don't want to? he asked with a provocative voice, like a child who didn't want to obey
his parents.
The taller one sighed. Then you'll only have yourself to blame. But I promise I'll wait for you with
a blanket and some hot chocolate when you return all beaten up.
Donghae laughed. Don't worry. he said and smiled. I get the feeling that he doesn't even like
me.
Probably. Siwon said honestly. Hes just.... he sighed. Lets just say the school would be
better off without him. And without his friends.

Donghae kept watching the group. They don't look any different from the other students though.
he said.
Siwon got that warningly look again and that kind of scared Donghae. Listen. he said and
looked Donghae deep in the eyes. They aren't just regular bullies, who push people in the
corridors and stuff. They're dangerous. Don't talk to them, don't look at them nothing. You
understand?
Donghae nodded, not really understanding Siwon's caution. Were they murderers, or what?
Donghae had more questions in his mind, but Siwons eyes told him to not ask more questions.
He stayed silent and just watched them from a distance. He saw Lee Hyukjae, or Eunhyuk, laugh
at something they guy named Heechul said. He sure had a special smile.
**
When finishing (Donghae's first and) last lesson, Siwon helped Donghae unpack, without
mentioning anything about the things Donghae had. It was obvious anyway and Donghae forced
himself to not feel ashamed. He told himself over and over that he hadnt done anything wrong
quite the reverse, he was here because he deserved it, not like some people who was here just
because they had a lot of money. That was nothing to be ashamed of.
Money doesnt matter. Siwon suddenly said, knowing exactly what was bothering Donghae.
Youre here because of your brains, not because of your wallet.
Donghae smiled. That was all he needed to hear.
**
When being finished, Siwon was sitting at the desk, studying while Donghae sat on his bed,
watching him. He was mind-battling with himself, wondering if he should tell Siwon what he had in
mind or not. He really liked Siwon, and he really wanted to be his friend. But what if Siwon
wouldnt accept him? Well, he could always change room. He would get a little sad if that
happened, but it wouldnt be the end of the world. And because he really wanted to be friends
with him, then he would tell him sooner or later. The sooner the better.
Siwon shi. He said.
Siwon laughed.
Speak more comfortably. He said, not turning to look at him.
Maybe he actually would accept him.
Do you want to be friends with me?
The question seemed to surprise Siwon, because he turned to face Donghae, raising one of his
thick eyebrows. Yes, of course. He said. Before he had time to look down at his book again,
Donghae spoke.
I think theres something you should know then.
Siwon didnt answer, but just waited for Donghae to continue.

I like guys.
Siwon opened his eyes wide, making it look like they would pop out of his head, and both his
thick eyebrows rose. You like guys? he repeated.
Yes.
You mean like... like youre
Homosexual, fag, queer, gay yes.
Siwon stared at him like he wasnt a human being and Donghae slightly started to regret what he
had said.
Is that okay with you?
Yes. Siwons eyebrows fell down again, but he still looked like he was observing him. I just
didnt expect you to say that. He stared at Donghae for a while, like he was trying to figure
something out.
I wont hit on you. Donghae joked. I promise.
Siwon laughed, and to Donghaes surprise, it was a comfortable laugh. Does your family know?
My mom and my hyung does.
And your dad?
Donghaes expression suddenly changed and he smiled sadly. Something told Siwon he shouldnt
wait for an answer.
And your friends? he asked instead.
Yes, every one of them. And now you know too.
Siwon admired the shorter boys confidence and his ability to talk so casually.
Can I ask you something? Siwon suddenly said, curiosity taking over.
Donghae nodded.
Dont get me wrong. He added. Im just curious.
Donghae nodded again and Siwon took a silent deep breath.
Have you ever... you know... been with... a guy?
Donghae stared at him and for a moment and Siwon was sure he had offended him. He raised
his hands and shook them, as if saying stop, and widened his eyes again in that special way of
his. Donghae was sure Siwon was the only one being able to do that. Siwon was about to take
back what he just had said when Donghae suddenly laughed. Are you sure you want to know
that? he asked, still laughing. You dont ask me how many siblings I have or why I changed
school you ask me if Ive slept with a man.
Im sorry." Siwon hurried to say "I dont know why I asked that.

Donghae smiled gently at him. Its okay. Im not offended or anything. I think its funny.
Siwon half smiled.
Ive only been he emphasized that word, with one guy before. My first love.
Siwon didnt know how he should answer that. Why did he even ask in the first place?
Awkward? Donghae smiled, making Siwon laugh. It didnt matter; they still felt comfortable with
each other. It was a comfortable awkwardness, if that even made any sense. Now, you tell me
about yourself. Have you ever been with a girl?
Siwons face immediately reddened which made Donghae laugh even more. Im just kidding. he
said. He raised himself from the bed and grabbed Siwons wrist. Lets buy something to eat. Im
hungry.
Maybe this school wouldnt be as horrible as Donghae first had imagined.
SM Boarding School
Chapter two
It was Siwon's suggestion that they should go to the cafeteria, but not now since it probably was
being full of people. The students always went there after finishing school for the day, so they
wouldnt find any seats. So instead they just sat outside in the shadow where it was rather empty
of people, Siwon lying on his back with closed eyes and Donghae sitting and watching the school
and still being totally amazed. He wondered if he ever would be able to fit in, in this kind of
environment. Then, he suddenly jumped in surprised, let out a loud OH!, and pointed. Siwon
opened his eyes and looked at the direction where Donghaes finger was pointing. He was
pointing at a boy with a smile so bright that even Siwon noticed, even though it was from far
away.
It's Kibum! Donghae shouted. Kibum!
Siwon kept looking at the guy to see if he was someone Siwon had seen before but no.
Kibum? he repeated.
Kim Kibum! Donghae almost yelled out in happiness, being totally chocked. He could swear he
was dreaming. I know him!
Really? Siwon asked surprised. Which class?
Donghae raised himself and grabbed Siwons hand to pull him up. How should I know? Hes one
year younger.
Siwon had to jog along to keep up with the excited shorter boys pace. The boy named Kibum
was talking to another short boy that neither Donghae nor Siwon knew, and didnt see the two
boys approaching. Donghae walked slowly and silently, till he was standing only a few
centimeters behind Kibum. Then he slowly raised his leg, placed his foot only a few centimeters
away from Kibums butt and pushed.
What the f Kibum hissed and turned around, his hands brushing his butt worried that his
pants would be dirty. But he went completely silent and just widened his eyes when seeing who
the guilty one was. He stared at Donghae like he wasnt a human being, and suddenly his ability
to speak disappeared.

I dare you to finish that sentence. Donghae challenged with, and smirked.
Hyung? Kibum managed to say, still not believing his eyes.
Donghae smiled and literally threw himself over the younger, making them both almost fall down
to the ground. Kibum was too shocked to hug him back.
Even though Donghae was one year older, Kibum was still some centimeters taller and he had
always been. Donghae smiled even wider when old memories crossed his mind. Siwon and
Kibums friend stared awkwardly at the hugging males, because this was shock for them too.
When pulling away from the hug Donghae introduced Siwon to Kibum while Kibum did the same
and introduced his friend as Ryeowook.
Donghae still couldn't believe it and neither could Kibum. Both Ryeowook and Siwon guessed
that Donghae and Kibum probably wanted to talk just the two of them, so they made sure to walk
a little slower to give Donghae and Kibum their own space.
How did you manage to get here? Kibum asked. Kibum was the only person Donghae could talk
comfortably with, concerning his social status.
I got a scholarship.
A scholarship? Kibum repeated. So youre...? Everyones talking about you, you know.
That uncomfortable feeling came back. What do they say?
They say you dont have more clothes then the school uniform. And that your roommate pays for
your food. And that your mother probably is a he search for the word. Prostitute. He finally
said. Only they didnt really use the word prostitute.
Donghae stared at Kibum and dropped his chin. He should get angry, but he couldnt. It was just
way to ridicule and he ended up chuckling to himself.
Theyre idiots. Kibum sighed. Dont listen to them.
The four boys kept walking here and there in the school area; Siwon and Ryeowook talking to
each other and Donghae and Kibum walking in silence. Which class are you in? Kibum
suddenly asked.
Donghae had to think for a moment before answering, he wasnt really that good when it came to
remember things. 4-C.
I dont know anyone there. Kibum replied.
Do you know Lee Hyukjae? Donghae asked out of the blue.
Kibum raised his eyebrows. No, why?
You dont? I though everyone knew him.
I dont know him personally, but I know who he is. Why do you ask?
Just curious. Hes in my class.
That must suck.

Donghae laughed. I think Sungmins worse than Hyukjae though.

Eunhyuk. Kibum corrected Donghae. And Sungmins just Eunhyuks bitch. He becomes brain
dead when Eunhyuk's not around.
Dont talk like that.
Kibum laughed. Sorry.
They kept walking in silence again. Donghae looked over his shoulder, to look at Siwon because
he had to keep in mind that Siwon knew neither Ryeowook nor Kibum he didnt want his friend
to feel awkward. So when he saw Siwon and Ryeowook talking like they had been friends for
years, he smiled. It had been a while since Kibum and Donghae last saw each other so they
didnt really know what to say, even though there was so much to talk about. So they remained
silent. That was until Kibum once again spoke. Ryeowook and I have a test tomorrow, so we
should probably be going. he said.
Donghae nodded but didnt say anything. He knew he would probably say something stupid and
embarrassing because he didnt want Kibum to leave. Then he reminded himself that he was
going to be in this school for two years so they had plenty of time to see each other again. Its
really nice seeing you again. he finally said and broke the silence.
Kibum smiled and Donghae thought that he saw Kibum blush. Its really nice seeing you too,
hyung. Ill call you later.
Donghae took a few steps forward before hugging Kibum, who suddenly tensed his body but
Donghae didnt notice. It took Kibum a few seconds before he responded the hug.
Siwon and Donghae watched Kibum and Ryeowook leave, and Donghae couldnt help but feel a
little sad. He felt Siwon place his hand on his shoulder and he turned to face him. The cafeteria
is probably not that crowded now he said.
The school did not fail to surprise Donghae once again. Their school cafeteria looked more like a
caf then a regular school cafeteria. People where sitting together in groups, enjoying their
coffee, tea, juice, snacks and meals. Because Donghae had arrived to the school after lunch he
hadnt eaten anything. At first he had been too nervous to notice how hungry he actually was and
then too excited and happy, when he saw Kibum. But now that he was feeling calm his stomach
was rumbling. He looked at the sandwiches with huge eyes it made his mouth water. When
buying everything they wanted they walked over to sit at an empty table, Siwon with his coffee
and Donghae with his two huge sandwiches and tea. Siwon looked at Donghaes food with
almost confusion in his eyes. Then he looked at Donghae, a short boy with not a big stomach.
You sure you can eat both? he asked. One wouldve been enough.
Dont underestimate me. Donghae said. Im hungry
I bet youre used to that feeling, you beggar. a provocative voice, a voice Donghae did not
recognize, said. He turned his head only to see Sungmin, Eunhyuk and an unknown guy that
wasnt someone in their class, standing behind him. Where they everywhere? Wasnt this school
like really big? But the most important question: How in the world do you answer to that?
Were not bothering you. Siwon said, he didnt sound very confident. So, please leave.
All three chuckled and the cafeteria suddenly went silent, eyes staring only at Donghaes
direction. Youre giving our class a bad reputation, Siwon. Sungmin said and stared Donghae
directly in the eyes.

If Donghae felt uncomfortable/nervous/scared/insecure before, then he didnt know how to

describe this. He glanced over at Siwon, eyes that asked him what to do, but Siwon looked as
uncomfortable/nervous/scared/insecure as Donghae did. Suddenly Eunhyuk grabbed Donghaes
cup of tea and Donghae immediately froze.
He had only seen Eunhyuk from a distance, not this close. Donghae still thought that of all people
in this mini-mafia group Eunhyuk was the one looking the least scary. Even when he chuckled
and smiled evilly, like he had done in the classroom before, there was still something angelic with
him. It was pretty weird that Donghae thought that, since everyone he had talked to had talked
about Eunhyuk like he was some kind of a monster. With Eunhyuks looks Donghae could
imagine him being very popular among girls.
After grabbing Donghaes cup, Eunhyuk inspected the liquid inside the cup before taking a sip.
Donghae widened his eyes waiting anxiously about what would happen next: Donghae thinking
that Eunhyuk didnt look very frightening didnt really matter now, since he noticed that Siwon
actually had succeeded in scaring him.
Ew! Sungmin almost squealed. Youll get AIDS.
Eunhyuk made a face, not using words to say that it didnt taste good. Then he turned to nod at
Sungmin, agreeing that it was indeed nasty, before he casually turned the cup upside down over
Donghaes sandwiches. Donghae realized to late what happened and wasnt fast enough to push
his chair away from the table before the hot tea ran down, over his pants.
Sungmin gasped. No, Hyukie! he said in a sarcastic melodramatic tone. Dont do that! He cant
afford to buy a new one! At that, Eunhyuk chuckled.
It was hot, very hot, and Donghae had to bit his bottom lip to not scream in pain. His thighs felt
like they were on fire. Siwon immediately raised himself from his seat to help his friend, while
people around them started to laugh.
Lets go, The third, unknown, guy said to his two friends. he might give you lice.
Sungmin, Eunhyuk and the nameless guy walked away Sungmin and the nameless guy
laughing out loud and Eunhyuk just walking like nothing happened.
WHAT. IS. HIS. PROBLEM?! Donghae screamed. Right after the incident Siwon helped
Donghae back to their room so he could change his clothes mostly his pants. He burned me!
I warned you.
Yes, but I didnt freaking do anything!
Siwon sighed. I know. He said in a low voice. Im sorry. He couldnt help but feel guilty over
what had happened.
Dont say youre sorry, it wasnt your fault. Donghae said it sincerely, even though he still
sounded angry. After changing to regular jeans and a T-shirt he sat down on his bed; his head
resting over is hands to give himself some seconds to think. Then, he raised himself and Siwon
feared he was about to do something he would regret.
Where are you going? he asked, widening his eyes.
I didnt do anything. Donghae said again and put his shoes back on. If I dont do anything then
theyll just keep bothering me.

Youre not really going to...?

Yes, I am. Donghae put his jacket on and Siwon jumped out of his seat.
No, wait! he said but Donghae got out of the room before he had time to say something more.
Siwon immediately putted one shoe on and realized that the other one was not in sight. He
cursed himself and desperately searched for that damned shoe, so he could stop the stupid
newcomer.
SM Boarding School
Chapter three
Donghae saw red. And his thighs still hurt. How could anyone be such a... such a fucking...? He
couldnt even find the right words for such a person. Angelic, my ass, he thought as he walked
as fast as he could; searching for his target. He didnt even know where that bastard was, but that
didnt stop him. He decided to go and see if he was still in the cafeteria and when arriving he saw
his friends, not the star himself.
When he finally finding him, behind the boys dorms, he stopped dead short. He did not expect to
find him like this Eunhyuk pressing a thin bimbo against the wall and his tongue literally in her
throat. Donghae widened his eyes. What. The. Fuck!?
He just stood there, watching them stupidly, feeling his anger grow more intense. He fist his hand;
his knuckles becoming white. His anger changed, this was hate. He got an impulsive feeling of
wanting to beat the crap out of that bitch. Seeing Eunhyuk gently placing his hands on her hips
was all it took for Donghae to take one step forward. But he didnt get any further since someone
grabbed his T-shirt and pulled him back, Donghae almost falling backwards.
Wh-what...? he started but got interrupted.
Are you out of your mind?
He didnt have to turn around to know how it was; the voice had been familiar since years ago.
Let go! Ill fall.
Kibum stopped and spun Donghae around, placing his hands on Donghaes shoulders, grabbing
him hard and looking at him with warningly eyes. Are you out of you mind, hyung? he asked
again, this time louder.
I didnt do anything.
I thought your friend told you to stay away from him! Kibum screamed.
I didnt do anything! Why are you acting like this? Donghae screamed back.
They glared at each other, till Kibums eyes softened. He removed his hands, only to start
massaging his own temples with his fingers. Im sorry. he sighed. I just...
I dont need a babysitter, you know.
I know.
Kibum sighed again, sincerely looking apologetic. Im sorry. he said again.
Its alright. Donghae said, even though he still sounded irritated. Im sorry too.

I didnt mean to sound like that. But I get angry when you wont listen to the people that care
about you. You never do. It didnt really sound like an insult, more like a compliment, and
Donghae chuckled. Under normal circumstances he would just laugh it away, but he was still
angry. He sighed and said a low Lets go and Kibum knew that he still was annoyed.
The scene he had seen still bothered him, even after some minutes passed, and whenever he
thought about it he got angry. I bet shes a total bitch, he thought. A fucking cheap one.
What are you thinking about? Kibum said, clearly noticing that Donghaes anger in his eyes still
was there. He was worried that Donghae was still mad at him.
I thought you said they were a couple.
What? Who?
"Hyukjae and Sungmin.
No, I said bitch.
What, so they just sleep with each other?
Kibum laughed a little. I didnt mean it literally. Eunhyuk doesnt like guys.
Yeah, I kind of saw that. He likes cheap and stupid bitches, like all wannabe gangsters do.
Kibum raised his eyebrows. Are you jealous? he asked.
Donghae chuckled in pure sarcasm. Oh, yes, sure. Of course. he said, overdosing drama in his
voice. He turned to glare at the younger. Dont make me vomit.
Then why are you so upset about it?
Because shes a bitch.
How do you know, you know her?
Thats not the point.
How can you say shes a bitch when you dont even know her? What if shes the kindest person
on earth?
If she is, then shes also the stupidest person on earth."
What do you mean?"
You must be pretty fucked up to date a guy like that.
Youre not making any sense. Are you mad at her?
Yes, Im mad at her because shes a stupid bitch, or else she wouldnt date him.
I dont understand it either, but Im still not mad at her because its not my business.
Donghae didnt respond that. Instead, he just started to walk faster, but Kibum still kept the pace.

I don't think they're dating." Kibum said, carefully.

I don't care."
Why would he be jealous of her? He wasnt jealous. He didnt even like that guy he was a punk
and Donghae knew it from the start. And he wasnt even Donghaes type. He just thought that she
was stupid thats all.
Would youve been happier if he was dating Sungmin?
Yes, because theyre share their stupidity.
Not because hes a guy then?
Donghae stopped walking and turned to face Kibum with a glare. Stop saying such ridiculous
things. And I dont want to talk about this anymore. If you want to keep nagging then leave,
because Im not in the mood. Kibum nodded, a mix between sadness and surprise in his eyes. It
hurt seeing him like that and it hurt talking to him like that, but Donghae was too angry to
apologize. He would do it later. He kept walking, not caring if Kibum followed him or not.
Kibum kept silent when they walked back to their dorms. They stopped when seeing an empty
room a room looking like a living room at a rich familys house. There were three large sofas
there, dressed in silk, carpets, a table with chairs, a fireplace, paintings hanging on the wall
everything. Donghae had to remind himself once again that this was still a school, because once
again he almost forgot. They sat down in the couch opposite each other and remained silent.
Donghae was too upset to talk and Kibum, knowing him well, knew it and just sat quietly, till
Donghae would decide that he wanted to break the silence.
While stitting there, Donghae glaring at something unknown and Kibum playing with his own
fingers, they heard and saw a worried Siwon rush towards them.
I looked for you everywhere! he said to Donghae, using his hands to speak just as much as his
mouth did.
Dont worry. Kibum saved me. Donghae said and tried to sound nice, even though the word
'saved' sounded rather insulting.
Siwon sighed as he let himself fall down on the couch beside Donghae, tired as if he had been
running a marathon. He was about to say something but didnt when even he saw Donghaes
anger. Are you angry? he asked and Donghae shook his head without looking at him. There
was an awkward silence and Siwon looked at Kibum for answers but Kibum just shrug his
shoulders.
Im a little angry Donghae suddenly said, to not cause any misunderstandings but I dont want
to talk about it.
Then lets talk about something else, so you get something else on your mind. Siwon said and
turned to face Donghae. What class will you be taking?
Dance and singing.
He raised his thick eyebrows, just like Kibum did. Both? they asked in unison.
Donghae nodded, not looking as angry as before. My family lives in Mokpo so I wont go home
during weekends. Maybe not even during holidays, so Ill have plenty of time. Ill be in the school
dance too. I already talked to the principal, over the phone before arriving here, and to the man

who gave me my scholarship. Ill start next week.

Dont push yourself too hard. Youll have to work hard Kibum said and youll only be here for
two years.
I will work hard. Donghae said and smiled a little. Dont worry. Kibum and Siwon smiled too,
when seeing Donghaes anger disappearing little by little. Besides Donghae said, this time
grinning and sounding as cocky as possible. I heard my singing and dancing skills are pretty
good. Both boys laughed, both because of Donghae and of relief. Being angry didnt suit him at
all.
Which class do you take? Siwon asked Kibum.
Acting classes. He answered. And you?
Singing.
Then youll have to help me. Donghae said.
Since youll have to practice a lot, with the school dance and all, why dont you go and see if you
can use the practice room after school? You can practice by yourself and in that way catch up
with the others.
Yeah, thats right! Why dont you ask the reception lady? Siwon added.
Are you kidding me? She scares the shit out of me.
Kibum and Siwon laughed, knowing exactly what Donghae was talking about. Youll learn to live
with it. Kibum said. Well go with you, so she doesnt eat you or anything.
Donghae talked to the scary lady, stammering and stuttering, and worked it out. She told him
about the practice room, where he should go to find it and that she could give him permission to
practice, from 9PM to 10PM. She also told him about the rules, mostly that he wasnt allowed to
let anyone in when practicing and that he must report the days he wouldnt practice. Then she
signed a paper which she gave to him a proof of permission, since the students werent allowed
to be outside their room after 10p.m, also Sunday to Thursday.
The school dance only practiced once a week Tuesdays which meant that Donghae had
already missed this weeks practice. He hadnt even talked to the one in charge so he could start
his practice. But that didnt stop him from going to the practice room today. A lot of things had
happened today even though he had only been here for one day. Dance always helped him to
relax.
He walked over to the CD player to turn whatever he could find on, but he didnt manage to turn
anything on when suddenly the door opened. He didnt have to turn around to see how it was; he
just needed to look at the mirror in front of him. But when seeing who was standing in the
doorway, he had to turn around because he didnt believe his eyes. He was about to say
something when the other person, being just as surprised as Donghae was, spoke first.
What are you doing here? Eunhyuk asked. He was too surprised to even sound rude and
Donghae reminded himself that he hadnt heard Eunhyuk speak till now. He had imagined that
Eunhyuks voice would be very deep, since well, scary people always have a deep voice (in
Donghaes opinion) but it wasnt. Donghaes voice was probably deeper.
Practicing. Donghae answered.

Why?
Im in the school dance.
Eunhyuk stared at him with a surprised look on his face. But when understanding exactly what
was going on, he glared. Donghae kind of felt a little more comfortable when seeing Eunhyuk
glare at him having Eunhyuk talk to him like a normal person would was weird and kind of
scary.
Why? Eunhyuk said again, but this time it sounded more like a threat then a question.
Youre in the school dance too?
Donghae knew he didnt have to ask; Eunhyuks reaction made it obvious. Im fucking in charge
of it.
Now that wasnt obvious. Did that mean Eunhyuk would be responsible for teaching Donghae
everything? Donghae lost his breath. This guy was everywhere. Seriously. Maybe being in the
school dance wasnt such a great idea.
But then he got a second thought this wasnt about Eunhyuk. This was about Donghae doing
what he wanted and Donghae working hard. So what? Who cares about Eunhyuk?
Well, I got permission from the reception lady. He said and tried to sound as unpleasant as
possible (and as unpleasant as he dared.)
I dont fucking care. Get out.
No. Ive already talked to her and she gave me permission. I dont mind you, but if it bothers you
then please leave. Eunhyuks glare got even more intense. He looked at in him pure disgust and
mumbled a low fucking idiot before leaving slamming the door behind him with all his might.
Unbelievable. That guy, really, was everywhere.
How come you didnt tell me Hyukjaes in charge of the school dance?
Siwon got out of their toilet and took the toothbrush out of his mouth to speak. I didnt know. He
hasnt been participating for a while, so I thought he quitted.
Oh God, hes everywhere. And he uses the practice room after school. Donghae moaned in
compliment and threw himself on his bed. Ill have to practice with him! he squealed in pain.
Siwon should be worried, that was what Donghae expected, but instead he laughed. True. It
even becomes funny. New students dont suffer from Heechul hyungs gang until they at least
have been here for a week. You really are unlucky.
That didnt help to cheer Donghae up. He sighed.
Take one day at a time. Its just once a week anyway, right? Siwon said, after leaving his
toothbrush in the toilet, and walked over to turn the ceiling lamp off, so the two small lamps
standing on bedside tables were the only source of light. And you promised to work hard. We,
your friends, support you. he walked over to his own bed. But now, try to get some sleep. You
had a pretty long day, even though you just arrived.
It was a freaking 'try to survive'-day. Donghae complained.

Siwon laughed. He lay down in his bed and pulled his coverlet over him. Just try to get some
sleep. he said again and Donghae followed Siwons example nestling down in his own bed.
I will. Thanks. He smiled. Good night.
Good night.
They turned the lamps off, leaving the room completely dark.
**
One hour passed. Two hours passed. Three hours passed. This bed was so much more
comfortable then the empty bed back in Mokpo. This bed wasnt as hard as the one Donghae had
in his real room and Donghae often woke up with pain in his back and neck. But Donghae didnt
care. A hard bed, ugly house, cheap furniture he didnt care. He missed it. He missed it so
much that it hurt and being left alone with only himself and his memories only made things worse.
He glanced over at Siwon, but it was too dark for Donghae to see him. It didnt matter; he knew
Siwon already was fast asleep. Donghae couldnt sleep like that. At least not this night. He sat up,
thinking about his mum and his hyung. He missed them; his mothers cheering smile and the
hugs this hyung always gave him whenever Donghae was feeling down. He really needed one
now. He remembered small things, like when his hyung gave him his pocket money so Donghae
could go and buy whatever he wanted. Or when Donghae broke something and his brother would
take the blame. Suddenly these tiny things became so precious.
He felt the tears being at the top of the edge and he tried hard to hold them in. It was absurd, he
thought, since he just arrived. But the thought of him being so far away from home for two whole
years was still in the back of his mind. He didnt want to complain because he couldnt complain.
His mother and hyung had sent him here to give him a better future. Complaining would be the
same thing as not being grateful. He was going to stay strong for his mother and hyung and for
his dad. Dad...
The tears became impossible to stop. He cried silently, burying his face in his pillow. He missed
them so much. He missed him so much. Then, he told himself once again to stay strong and
dried his tears with the back of his hand and lay down. He shouldn't cry. Instead, he would call
them tomorrow it was too late doing it now. He would call them and tell them how much he
missed them and how much he loved them. Thinking that cheered him up a little. He closed his
eyes and tried to relax when he suddenly heard giggles coming from the corridor. Wasn't the
clock like, 3a.m or something? Are people still being up? Its not even Friday yet.
Schh! Youll wake someone up. he heard someone say. The giggles got a little louder and
suddenly something, or someone, fell to the floor and someone burst out in laughter. For fucks
sake, Sungmin!
Donghae sat up. Sungmin? Then the person speaking must be Donghaes best friend. Donghae
raised himself from his bed before silently walking over to the door. He pressed his ear against
the door.
Ill leave you here and Ill lock the door! Were like five meters away from our room, so stop it.
Eunhyuk hissed, apparently not being in such a good mood as Sungmin was.
Curiosity took over and Donghae slowly and carefully opened the door, just a little but enough for
him to peek. He saw their backs Sungmin sitting on the floor, giggling and Eunhyuk walking
before stopping in front of a door. He dug in his pockets and took out some keys.

Ill leave you there for real. I literally carried you all the way here so I wont help you up. He said
in a low voice, but loud enough for Donghae to hear.
Hyukie~ Dun be like'tha!" the boy on the floor said in a loud and sloppy voice. Eunhyuk ignored
him and just opened the door to their room. Sungmin placed a hand on the wall to raise himself
up before swaying over to Eunhyuk, still giggling. Donghae widened his eyes Sungmin wasnt
actually drunk, was he? Eunhyuk opened the door and placed Sungmins arm over his shoulder
to help him get inside. He closed the door and locked it.
SM Boarding School
Chapter four
Waking up was weird. Donghae almost got a heart attack - completely forgetting where he was
when he didn't recognize the walls or the bed. Even the smell was different. Good morning. he
suddenly heard someone say which made him jump in surprise again.
Morning. he responded as a reflex, without thinking. His vision was still blurred and when he got
a clear picture of his friend he widened his eyes. Siwon, being in progress of getting dressed, was
only wearing his uniform pants. Donghae hadnt thought about how well-trained Siwon actually
was. He knew he was much stronger then Donghae himself, but he didnt know he had that kind
of body. Im gay, you know. he said, still in a sleepy voice.
Siwon laughed, taking Donghaes comment as a compliment, and continued getting dressed,
completely undisturbed.
They walked together to the kitchen everyone living on this floor shared and saw that there were
already seven students there. Morning. everyone except two or three persons said, which made
Donghae surprised since he didnt expect them to talk to him. He thought that they probably were
speaking to Siwon and not to him, but when both he and Siwon answered no one looked at him in
a strange way.
Siwon showed Donghae where everything was, the refrigerator, the freezer, the dishwasher and
so on while he told him about yet more rules according to the kitchen. He also told him that since
Donghae hadnt had time to buy food he could eat whatever Siwon had. Donghae who was
nodding and nodding while Siwon was talking didnt really pay much attention, since he was
constantly looking around; searching for a certain someone. He got relieved when he didnt see
him, but that disappeared only after some seconds.
Morning. everyone suddenly said again and this time louder. Donghae turned to look who they
were talking too and saw Eunhyuk, who dragged his feet, his hair being all tousled and his eyelids
constantly falling down. He passed Donghae, probably being too tired to care, and sat down on
an empty chair at a table with four other people sitting. Donghae glanced at him.
Wheres Sungmin? someone asked.
Hes not feeling well. Eunhyuk responded and yawned.
No wonder.
Siwon made his sandwiches, took his cereals out if Donghae wanted some and told Donghae that
he would go and get a seat. Donghae nodded again, still not really listening, and suddenly felt so
unprotected when Siwon walked away. He felt like everyone was watching him. He carefully
opened the refrigerator when hearing yet another person dragging his feet towards their kitchen.
It was Sungmin, looking like he was a living dead. He had dark circles under his eyes and
couldnt walk straight on.

Go back to sleep. Eunhyuk said.

Thirsty. He simply answered in a hoarse voice Water, Hyukie.
Eunhyuk raised himself from his seat and walked over to where Donghae was standing, since he
was standing beside the kitchen sink. Donghae tried to ignore him, with the motivation that
Eunhyuk would probably be too tired to mind him. He opened the fridge to take out the milk that
was standing on a shelf marked with Siwons name. But tiredness didnt stop Eunhyuk, when he
saw the perfect opportunity for a comment while standing beside Donghae. So its true. he
suddenly said and Donghae didnt know who he was talking to. You really dont have money to
buy your own food.
Donghae froze, since he realized that Eunhyuk was talking to him. Then he tried to keep ignoring
the guy. Siwon, Eunhyuk called and got Siwons attention. if you continue like this, youll end up
like him.
People started to giggle and Donghae turned to look at Siwons reaction. Siwon tried to ignore
Eunhyuk as well. Donghae sighed in his mind before taking a bowl out and grabbed the cereals
Siwon had left out, when he suddenly felt a smell of alcohol. He looked up to see if Sungmin was
standing near him, but Sungmin had walked over to sit on the chair Eunhyuk was previously
sitting on. He glanced over at Eunhyuk and realized that the smell came from him.
Donghae opened the refrigerator again to return the milk and the exact moment he was about to
take his bowl Eunhyuk let his hand carelessly knock Donghaes bowl down. The bowl broke,
spilling out the cereals and milk all over the floor. Donghae was slow and couldnt do other then
stare. Oh God, sorry. Eunhyuk said, not really sounding that apologetic before walking over to
Sungmin and his other friends, with a glass of water in his hand.
Everyone, mostly Eunhyuks friends, burst out in laughter; except for Siwon who immediately
wanted to help his friend. But someone stopped him the guy that earlier had asked for Sungmin
by putting his hand on Siwons shoulder and force him back to his seat. Eunhyuk grinned and
Siwon realized that there were more than six people on Eunhyuks side in this room. Donghae
had to clean up the mess by himself.
Siwon waited till everyone left before he could go and help Donghae, who still hadnt cleaned up
the milk, cereals and the broken bowl. Youll get late for class. Donghae said when he saw
Siwon grabbing some kitchen roll paper.
It doesnt matter. Im sorry.
Donghae smiled gently, even though he wasnt at his happiest mood right now. Dont be silly he
said. It wasnt your fault.
When opening the door to their classroom they realized their math teacher was taking the
register. The old, skinny man, turned to look at them his glasses resting on his long nose. He
didnt look nice. Youre late. he just said. Donghae looked at the clock hanging on the wall,
behind their teacher. They were four minutes late.
We apologize, seonsaengnim. Siwon said and bowed. Donghae did the same, before they
walked over to sit on their seats.
Is this a good way to start a new lesson, the man said and looked down at his paper. Lee
Donghae ssi?

Im sorry.
Some people giggled and Donghae sighed soundlessly.
Lee Hyukjae. Their teacher continued making sure all students were there, after giving Donghae
one last glare.
Yes.
The teacher looked at the empty seat beside Eunhyuk. Wheres Lee Sungmin shi? he asked.
Hes sick.
The man snorted before continuing taking the register.
No one bothered Donghae during math class (except for the teacher who didnt seem to like him
at all), since the teacher was there. Donghae thought that he could gladly start this day pretty
normally, almost forgetting about todays morning. After math the class spit up; to singing classes,
acting classes and dance classes. On Donghae's schedule was 'singing class' written. Eunhyuk
didnt take singing classes and Donghae couldnt be happier. Besides, their teacher was nice and
he had Siwon there with him. Singing officially became Donghaes favorite subject.
They day went pretty smoothly and Donghae could sigh out in relief. He finally felt like a normal
student, except from the hard pushes he received from unknown persons he hadnt paid any
attention to before, when Donghae passed. Donghae could easily guess that they probably were
Eunhyuk and Sungmins friends and he tried his best to ignore them. During lunch he met up with
Kibum and Ryeowook and after that he continued his lessons.
~*~
The next day was pretty much the same, except that he got a better morning since he decided to
wake up earlier than the rest to do his breakfast, so he could eat it in his room. Siwon, not
wanting Donghae to eat by himself, did the same thing and they had a peacefully morning
together. And about the dance practices, Eunhyuk and Donghae agreed that they would split the
hour. Donghae would practice from 9p.m to 9.30p.m and Eunhyuk had made himself very clear
when telling him that he did not want to see Donghae there a second after 9.30.
That was how the days passed with pleasant and unpleasant teachers/classes, students
(mostly Eunhyuk and Sungmin) saying something mean every now and then and Donghae being
pushed whenever he walked passed someone that didnt like him. But Donghae could live with it.
Then the weekend came and Donghae had for the first time, since arriving here, two wonderful
days. He didnt see any of the mean guys even once Siwon told him that they rarely were there
during the weekends. So in other words; no one bullied him. During those two days, Donghae
studied peacefully with the help of his three friends. Siwon and Ryeowook helped him with his
singing practice and Kibum helped him with math and English. They also gave him a properly tour
around the school and Donghae couldnt be grateful enough, since thanks to them he didnt have
to walk around with a map all the time. When Sunday passed he couldnt help but feel a little sad.
~*~
Monday passed like all the other days. Tuesday was different though since he was going to
practice with the school dance for the first time, after school. Donghae was nervous all day since

he had no idea what to expect. Being there with Eunhyuk and his friends for two hours and with
Eunhyuk in charge... He was so going to die.
Eunhyuk didnt treat him any different today though. When having a break, after their English
class, Eunhyuk made sure to walk extremely close to him closer then he should since the
corridor was not narrow only to push him hard when passing by him. Donghae hit a locker and
dropped the books he was holding. Eunhyuk and his two unknown friends laughed. Siwon, who
was in the toilet, was needed since they all became braver when Donghae was alone.
The dance practice was... well, Donghae should have expected it. Everyone except Eunhyuk was
already there and to his surprise no one treated him any different. He sat down on the floor
watching everybody else. Some of them were sitting down too, chatting with each other and
others were practicing without music. When the door opened Donghae was the only one who
froze. Eunhyuk, carrying a bag, walked over to the other side of the room where the CD-player
was standing. He actually looked like a normal student laughing with the others and talking to
them without seeming to be superior. But Donghae still felt uncomfortable.
When starting everyone, except from Eunhyuk and Donghae, took their positions. Donghae was
still sitting down against the wall behind the students and Eunhyuk sat down beside the CDplayer against the huge mirror that covered one entire wall, in front of the students. He turned
the music on and everyone stared to dance. Donghae didnt know what to do. Should he try to
imitate them or should he just watch? He felt both confused and forgotten since he was pretty
sure that he couldnt count on Eunhyuk. He looked over at Eunhyuk anyway who, of course,
completely ignored him and just looked at the people dancing. After watching the students for
forty minutes Donghae decided that he had to do something. Or else there was no point in being
here.
He raised himself and walked over to Eunhyuk, without disturbing the dancing students and sat
down beside him but not too close so it would be uncomfortable. What am I supposed to do?
he asked.
Eunhyuk glared at him, snorted and ignored him.
I suppose Ill just keep watching. Donghae sighed.
Thats what he did for two whole hours he watched. It was probably one of the most boring
things he had done in a long time. After they had practiced for an hour Eunhyuk gave them a
break. During that break almost every girl that was there took the chance to act cute in front of
Eunhyuk. Their high pitch voices asking Oppa, did I do fine? or How was I, oppa? made
Donghae feel like he wanted to vomit. He glared at them but then felt sick by just watching them
and turned to face something else the wall.
When the break was over they all returned to their practice and Donghae returned to his
watching. Eunhyuk kept ignoring him and it wouldnt surprise Donghae if Eunhyuk actually forgot
that Donghae was there in the first place. But Eunhyuk wasnt totally heartless. Since he knew
that Donghae would practice today at 9p.m he left the disk inside the CD-player, so Donghae
could use it when he was going to practice.
**
Donghae had the music on so loud that the floor was vibrating. He tried to remember the
choreography but only managed to remember parts of it. But it didn't matter he had already
decided that he would try anyway. He danced; his legs and arms moving to the fast music. He

watched himself in the mirror as he tried to imitate what the others had done. His movements
were hard and fast and his heart started to beat faster while his breath became heavier and
heavier. Suddenly, he stopped. He realized that he was doing something wrong.
He repeated the song and danced again but once again stopped after a while. That's okay, he
thought. He just needed some minutes to remember the choreography properly.
He tried again, but no.
And again. Still wrong.
He knew he did it wrong but he couldnt put the finger on what he was doing wrong. He just knew
that when he danced it didnt look like it should. But he wouldnt give up and tried again. Wrong
again.
He started to feel frustrated, both because he didnt remember and for thinking about Eunhyuk
that didnt want to cooperate at all. He dried the sweat drops on his forehead with the back of his
palm. His arms and legs started to feel heavy and he sat down to give himself a rest. He had only
one word in his mind: Wrong, wrong, wrong. He wanted to scream how the heck was he
supposed to catch up with the others like this?!
The door suddenly opened and Donghae realized that he had been here for more than half an
hour. Oops. Eunhyuk did not look happy.
We had an agreement get out.
I wouldnt be here if you had helped me earlier today. Donghae responded back.
Oh, that sucks. Eunhyuk entered the room and put his bag down, the big bag he had with him
earlier. He took his jacket off and threw it over the bag. Get out.
No, because youll help me.
The tone Donghae was using when speaking to him was disturbingly rude. Eunhyuk glared at
him. How dared he? I wont help you with anything. Youre wasting my time. Eunhyuk pointed at
the door. Get. The. Fuck. Out.
Donghae raised himself from the floor and turned to look Eunhyuk in the eyes. Eunhyuk was
surprised that Donghae didnt obey him, but he was good in hiding it. Stop acting like a kid.
Youre in charge of this, right? So its your responsibility to teach me. Or else you better give your
position to someone more mature.
Neither Donghae nor Eunhyuk knew where Donghae got his confident from probably since he
was so fucking tired of all this, and they both got quite surprised. Eunhyuk didnt respond back to
that since he wasnt stupid Donghae had a huge point there. Instead, he gave him his wellknown glare before walking over to the CD-player.
If you talk to me like that again I swear youll regret it. he said, instead of saying Yes, I will help
you. Donghae smiled a little, enjoying his victory and Eunhyuk didnt fail to notice. And dont
misunderstand anything. he said. Ill still treat you like the piece of shit you are.
Yes, yes. Donghae sighed.
Eunhyuk turned the music on and started to move to its rhythm. His movements were untidy and
completely weak, only to show how completely unmotivated he was to learn Donghae the dance.
He didnt even try to do it good and Donghae thought that that this must be a joke. Was a guy like

that in charge of the school dance?

But suddenly something happened and Eunhyuk became more and more serious in what he was
doing till he lost himself. He danced like there was no effort in what he was doing, even so he
danced beautifully sliding over the floor with such smoothness and moving his arms in legs in
perfect synchronization. Donghae widened his eyes, being hypnotized in his movements. He felt
jealous. Eunhyuk made it look like dancing was the easiest thing a person could do till you try it
yourself, of course. Donghae had a hard time believing that he was dancing the same dance
Donghae had tried to do just a moment ago. Donghae didnt wake up from his admiration till
Eunhyuk stopped dancing.
How long have you been dancing? he asked, his eyes still being huge.
Some years.
I changed my mind.
What?
I dont want to dance with you. Youll only make me look bad.
Eunhyuk chuckled and to Donghaes surprise it didnt sound mean or like he was making fun of
him. Probably he answered and it actually sounded like he was joking a little with him. Your
turn.
Donghae knew Eunhyuks (kind of) niceness would disappear now Donghae hadn't remember
the steps since he was too busy looking at Eunhyuk like he was a God. He laughed awkwardly. I
didnt really... Just show me one more time.
Donghae had even prepared himself for the comment and/or the nasty look. But instead,
Eunhyuk just walked over to the CD-player to replay the song. He pointed and told Donghae
where to stand before he pressed play. Donghae felt a little embarrassed and not as confident
as before when standing beside Eunhyuk now after seeing how he danced. But Eunhyuk didnt
look at him when dancing but just at himself and that made Donghae more comfortable. When
the song stopped Eunhyuk walked over to sit in front of Donghae.
Your turn. he said again and waited.
Are you going to watch? Donghae asked, a little nervous.
The question was so stupid that Eunhyuk, being Eunhyuk, couldnt resist. No, stupid, I just find it
very amusing spending my time with you. he answered and started to talk with his usual
rudeness.
Donghae cleared his throat. You dont have to stay. Thank you for your help.
Dont be such a pussy. I already wasted too much time on you and I want to see that it at least
was worth it.
What if it wasnt?
Eunhyuk smirked. Then Ill be extremely happy since Ill kick you out.
The younger widened his eyes. You cant do that.
Try me.

Donghae had no idea if Eunhyuk was being serious or not. If Eunhyuk really could kick him out
then why would he wait till now? But then again, Donghae couldnt forget the fact that Eunhyuk
was Eunhyuk. He looked over at the clock 9.58 p.m. Its already 10.
Im starting to lose my patience. Eunhyuk just answered back. Donghae sighed. Then he
decided to just get it over with and nodded to Eunhyuk allowing him to turn the music on.
Donghae managed to do a pretty good job when trying to ignore the fact that Eunhyuk was
watching him. But then he just had to ignore it since he had to use his entire mind to remember
the steps. He thought about what Eunhyuk had said about kicking him out and forced himself to
do his best. He danced like he remembered for a moment completely forgetting that Eunhyuk
was there. But when he for a second glanced over at Eunhyuk, instead of looking at himself, he
saw that Eunhyuk was staring at him. He was supposed to watch him, not stare at him like that. It
remembered him about the first day when he arrived and Eunhyuk had been staring at him just
like he was doing now, with intense eyes. It became too uncomfortable and Donghae couldnt
concentrate anymore. He stopped. Wh-what? he asked
What what?
Why are you staring at me like that?
Im not staring.
There was an extremely awkwardness in the air except for this time Donghae saw that
Eunhyuk, for the first time, felt awkward too. Well, how did I do? he asked, and thought about
the girls that had asked the same thing. Except that Donghaes voice wasnt as high as theirs and
Eunhyuks respond wasnt as gentle as when he was talking to them.
Yeah. he just muttered before raising himself, grabbed his bag and left. Was that even an
answer?
SM Boarding School
Chapter five, part one
Donghae almost got scolded when returning to his dorm. Siwon made himself very clear; the
principal did not like it when students broke the rules. Donghae was twenty minutes late, which
meant that he had broken the first rule: Do not be outside your dorm after 10p.m. But Donghae
was an expert with cute smiles and eyes so Siwon ended up with just saying a Dont be late
again. Youre lucky no one saw you.
~*~
Today it was Friday and Donghae woke up half an hour before everybody else, as always, to
make his breakfast. He tried to wake Siwon up too, but Siwon was too tired to wake up and
Donghae was too tired to try. Instead he decided to be a good friend and do breakfast both to him
and to Siwon. He slipped his feet into his fish-slippers before silently open his door and walk over
to the kitchen. When being almost there he suddenly heard a door open somewhere behind him.
He froze and hoped that when he turned around he would see Siwon standing there. But it wasnt
Siwon he saw; he saw a person that didnt belong there at all a girl. The girl got out from
Sungmin and Eunhyuks room and when she realized that she wasnt alone in the corridor she
looked at Donghae with the same surprised look that Donghae had. They stared at each other for
a moment before she suddenly blushed and almost ran out of sight. Donghae got that disgusting
feeling again just like yesterday. Maybe she was Sungmins girlfriend, he thought. But then he
shook that thought out of his mind because he really didnt care.

Does Sungmin have a girlfriend? Donghae asked when he and Siwon were sitting at their little
table in their room, eating their breakfast. Siwon shrugged his shoulders. I saw a girl getting out
from their dorm.
Sungmin didnt sleep in his room this night.
Donghae widened his eyes and dropped the spoon he was holding. What? was the only thing
he could think of saying.
They do that sometimes.
Do what?
You know what.
No I dont.
Even Siwon find it uncomfortable talking about it. He scratched his head and thought about which
words to use. Its not our business anyway. he decided to say instead. So dont butt in. Siwon
got back to his eating while Donghae just stared at his cereals. What? Siwon asked after a
while, when seeing the bothersome look on Donghaes face.
Nothing. Donghae responded before raising himself from his seat. I just lost my appetite.
While Siwon was brushing his teeth and getting dressed Donghae took all their plates back to the
kitchen. It was still very early and the students werent supposed to wake up yet. But there
already were two students there, talking. When Donghae recognized the voice of one of them he
stopped walking and stayed out of sight. Since Donghae didnt hear sounds that told him that the
guys were doing something he guessed that they probably were just sitting at a table, chatting.
Is it your turn to clean the kitchen? he heard Eunhyuk say. The guy he was talking too must
have shaken his head. It was probably Sungmin. Watch the noticeboard. Eunhyuk said.
Why? the unknown guy said, with a voice that did not belong to Sungmin. You think its your
turn?
Eunhyuk didnt have time to answer before the other guy spoke again.
Room 208. he said. Whose room is it?
Since Eunhyuk didnt respond immediately Donghae guessed that he was thinking. Isnt it Choi
Siwons room? Eunhyuk said.
And that new guy? The poor one? the other one added.
Donghae would have glared at him if he could see him. Must they be so freaking snobbish?
Eunhyuk chuckled. Yeah, I think its them. There was a silence, but only just a few seconds.
Junsu yah. Eunhyuk suddenly said and in Donghaes opinion it sounded very suspicious. He
could imagine that Eunhyuk was smirking. Dont you think its pretty clean here?. The guy
named Junsu laughed completely understanding Eunhyuks point. Donghae understood it too
and he got an impulsive feeling of wanting to scream at them in their face. But he still had his
common sense left and the only thing he did was to sigh soundlessly and return to his dorm.

Didnt you return the plates? Siwon asked when Donghae returned.
Prepare yourself. Donghae answered with. Well have a lot he widened his eyes and
emphasized the words a lot. to clean. Siwon raised his eyebrows, not understanding what
Donghae was talking about. But he just had to go to the kitchen to understand. The kitchen was a
total mess, almost all plates that this kitchen had were dirty and food was on the floor and even
on the walls. It was so chaotic that Eunhyuk and the guy named Junsu impossible could have
done it by themselves. That was the first time Donghae saw Siwon furious. But Siwon controlled
himself and just muttered swearwords and quietly insulted Eunhyuk, Sungmin, Junsu, a guy
named Shindong and some other names Donghae couldnt remember.
Does it feel like home now, you poor imbecile? they suddenly heard Sungmin say. When turning
around they saw Eunhyuk, a chubby guy with funny hair also from their class Donghae couldnt
remember his name though and Sungmin standing in the door way. When Eunhyuk and the
chubby guy laughed Siwon raised himself, totally pissed off. Donghae was quick to grab his shirt
and pull him back. He glared at Siwon, with eyes that told him to not do anything stupid. Siwon
gave the three boys a nasty look before getting back to help Donghae clean.
And so the day started. It was a usual day, like always, except that Donghae experienced what
Kibum meant when saying that Sungmin became brain dead when Eunhyuk wasnt around.
During their singing class Donghae almost got a shock when Sungmin neither said nor did
anything to him. He was just like a regular student. He was not nice to him and he was not mean
to him, he just acted like he didnt know him.
9p.m was Donghae at the dance practice room like always. He was pretty good with catching
up with the school dance. Eunhyuk had given him a theoretical lesson for about six minutes
before giving him three disks. Donghae didnt even have time to say thank you before Eunhyuk
left, almost running away. When Eunhyuk was explaining everything he was talking extremely fast
and low, probably because he didnt want anyone to see him talking to Donghae of all people,
and when Donghae tried to ask something he glared and threaten him with not helping him at all.
In other words; Eunhyuk wasnt really much of a help. But that didnt matter since Donghae was
really good. When he didnt remember the steps or the choreography he just improvised. He
didn't care; he just loved dancing and didnt care if he was following Eunhyuks choreography or
not.
He was so deeply focused in what he was doing that he, for the second time since making the
deal, forgot the time. Why are you still here? Eunhyuk asked in irritation when seeing him.
Im sorry. Donghae walked over to his own bag. I was just leaving.
Eunhyuk took his outer clothes off before opening the big bag he always had with him when
practicing, and took out a blank tank top. Leave the disk inside the CD-player. he said.
Donghae didnt have to turn around to look at Eunhyuk, since the mirror was there. He didnt
answer to what Eunhyuk said since he wasnt listening. He was looking intensely at Eunhyuk
through the mirror reflection, watching as Eunhyuk took his shirt off to replace it with the tank top.
He was really skinny; Donghae could clearly see it now. But he still had some visible muscles
which he probably got from dancing. He really was good looking, Donghae couldnt deny that. Too
bad he was such an asshole though.
Are you listening? Eunhyuk asked, his voice being a mix between annoyance and irritation since
he noticed that Donghae wasnt listening, waking up Donghae from his thoughts.

Yes. Donghae said since he didnt want to make Eunhyuk even more irritated. He had no idea
what he was saying yes to. He kept looking at Eunhyuk, who crouched down again and started
digging in his bag. Can I ask you a question? Donghae suddenly asked, still looking at Eunhyuk
through the mirror. Eunhyuk didnt respond and Donghae didnt know if it was because no, he
could not as a question or because Eunhyuk knew that Donghae would ask anyway. Are you
mean to me because you dont like me or because your friends tells you so?
Eunhyuk stopped with what he was doing and almost tensed his body. But he didnt answer.
Instead, he just continued packing up his things this time a pair of shoes and pretended that
he wasnt listening.
I think youre doing a lot against your will. Donghae said and watched Eunhyuk all the time while
speaking. He wanted to see his reaction. You dont seem like a bad person.
That was the last straw. Eunhyuk lost his patience and raised himself only to slam the door open
for Donghae to leave. Then think again, dickhead. he hissed.
Donghae sighed before grabbing his own bag and leaving. It was at least worth trying, he
thought as Eunhyuk slammed the door behind him.
It was raining when Donghae got out of the building where the practice room was. The weather
was totally unexpected he was only wearing jeans, a T-shirt and a summer jacket. He didnt even
have something to cover his head with. And he was carrying a heavy bag so he couldnt even run
fast back to his dorm. And to add yet another thing his dorm was on the opposite side, so he
had to cross the whole school area before being there. He sighed heavily, before making himself
ready.
When finally arriving he walked up the stairs with heavy steps. The jacket he was wearing wasnt
really much of a help even his shirt was wet. At least the school uniform would keep his T-shirt
dry. His wet jeans were pasted to his legs; making it very uncomfortable. He walked like a
penguin, waddling without bending his knees. He dragged himself to his door imagining how
wonderful it would be with a blanket right now. He knocked the door and called for his roommate
but no one opened. Then he dug in his pants pockets but didnt find what he was searching for;
the keys. Instead he took his cell phone out and saw that someone had sent him a message.
Im out with some friends, if you dont find me in the dorm.
Siwon.
Donghae put the cell phone back in his jeans pocket before checking if his keys were in the
pockets of his jacket. No, they werent. He searched for them in his bag but still didn't find
anything. No problems, he thought and grabbed his phone again. He called Siwon and refused to
believe it when he heard Siwons phone calling from the other side of the door. Hadnt he brought
the phone with him?! He hung up the phone before digging in all his pockets again. Nothing. Then
he realized that that he hadnt brought the keys with him in the first place and they were probably
laying on his bedside table right now.
Today just wasnt Donghaes day.
He moaned in frustration. Who knows for how long Siwon would be out? He kept knocking on the
door and search in his pockets and bag again, even though he knew it was completely useless.
Suddenly he heard steps walking towards him and he begged, hoping from the bottom of his
heart, that it would be Siwon. But with the luck he had today it would surprise him if it actually was
him.
And of course, it wasnt. The boy walking towards the corridor was not Siwon but Lee Hyukjae. Of

course it would be him. The day couldnt possibly get any worse. Donghae almost moaned out
loud in complainant again, but managed to stop himself. Eunhyuk with his brown wet hair
pasted to his face walked passed Donghae without giving him one singe look and stopped in
front of a door looking exactly like the one Donghae was standing in front. The only difference
was the number; the door in front of him had the number 205 while Donghaes had 208. He
watched as Eunhyuk, being just as wet as Donghae was, searched for his keys in his pockets
and unlike Donghae he actually opened his door.
Hyukjae shi. Donghae called impulsively, before Eunhyuk entered his room. He realized that he
was about to do something he probably would never forgive himself for. But what else could he
do? He was desperate. Eunhyuk turned to face him, a surprised look on his face, but he didnt
say anything. I forgot my keys. he said awkwardly.
Eunhyuk stared at him for a moment, not understanding what that had to do with him. Then he
entered his room, without saying a word and closed the door behind him.
Donghae wanted to punch him. How could anyone be so freaking heartless?! He sighed in
frustration and was about to curse out loud when he heard the door open. He looked at where the
sound was coming from and only got to see something white being thrown at him. The white
thing, being very soft, hit his face and then he heard the door being closed again. He grabbed it to
inspect it and to his surprise he saw that it was a folded towel and inside a white T-shirt. Donghae
smiled. Idiot... he mumbled softly to himself.
When changing to the T-shirt he stayed there in the corridor, sitting beside his door. He felt like a
homeless child right now. He chuckled a little at the thought while thinking about Sungmin and
Eunhyuk. Then he sighed and tried to prepare himself for the long wait.
It was Friday night and the students, at least on this floor, where rarely there this at this point of
time. And it was very quiet on this floor, so Donghae could easily guess that there were very few
students that were inside their dorms now. At least he knew Eunhyuk was in his room. He looked
at the door marked with the number 205. He sighed and put the towel over him, as a blanket,
since he was freezing thanks to the water. At least his upper body wasnt wet anymore. But his
jeans and legs still were which made it extremely uncomfortable to sit down. It was uncomfortable
to stand up too, so it didnt really matter.
After sitting there for almost two hours he finally heard some steps walking towards him. Please,
please, please, please, he thought as the steps became louder and louder. He turned his head
and saw his hero.
Siwon aaaaah! he yelled as he flew up from his seat and almost threw himself over the taller
one. Siwon laughed a little, not really knowing what was going on, when Donghae suddenly
hugged him hard. Then, Donghae pulled away and glared at him. Where have you been?! he
asked, like a mother would ask her child.
With some friends. he said and raised his eyebrows even more, if that even was possible. I
texted you.
Right. Donghae said after giving himself some seconds to think. You did.
Siwon chuckled. Why are you waiting here?
I forgot my keys. Ive been waiting here for two hours.
Really? God, and I didnt even bring my cell phone. he said and Donghae saw that he got a bad
conscience. Im sorry.

Donghae shook his head. Dont be. It wasnt your fault. I mean, I was the careless one. Just
open the door, please.
Donghae almost moaned when changing from his wet and cold jeans to his warm, grey
sweatpants. But he didnt since he probably would scare the heck out of Siwon if he did. Instead
he threw himself on his bed, feeling like the most satisfied person earth. Then he looked at the Tshirt and towel that didnt belong to him, before raising himself up again.
Where are you going? Siwon, who was sitting on his own bed with his laptop, asked when
seeing that Donghae was making his way out of the room.
Ill just return this. Donghae answered and grabbed the shirt and towel.
Whose is it?
Donghae laughed. You wouldnt believe me if I told you.
He carefully knocked the door and felt his heart beat a little faster. No wonder he was voluntarily
entering the enemies territory. He heard someone say something and guessed that it was a
Come in, even thought it didnt sound like it. He slowly opened the door, as if he was afraid a
monster would attack him if he wasnt being careful.
The room, being impressively clean, was almost like his and Siwons; two beds on either side of
the room, a desk with two chairs, a door to their bathroom and two wardrobes all this looking
exactly like it did in Donghaes room. But what this room also had was a big television, a CDplayer, two laptops and even a little couch, in front of their television. It didnt look like a students
room in a school but just a teenage room belonging to two snobbish brats. One funny thing with
this room, Donghae thought, was that one side was completely pink while the other side had
rather dark colors.
I need you to help me with something. Eunhyuk said.
He was sitting at the desk, his back facing Donghae, and he was... studying? Donghae cleared
his throat to get Eunhyuks attention, since he knew that what Eunhyuk just had said wasnt
meant to him. Eunhyuk turned around and when he did Donghae got ever more surprised.
Eunhyuk was wearing glasses and immediately took them off when realizing that Donghae wasnt
Sungmin. He glared.
I just wanted to return this. Donghae said and held up the shirt and towel so Eunhyuk could see
it.
There. Eunhyuk simply answered and pointed at the bed with a dark brown coverlet. He turned
around again and sat back down on his chair. Donghae did as he was told and was about to
leave when he glanced over at the abandoned glasses on the desk.
I didnt know you wore glasses. he said, surprised. He knew he probably shouldnt mention it but
he couldnt resist.
Only when Im reading. Eunhyuk was quick to answer, without turning around.
You look good in them. Donghae didnt know why he said that but he knew that he always had
been an honest person he couldnt help it. He never got to know what Eunhyuk would have
responded since the door suddenly went open.

Hyukie, ISungmin started but went silent when seeing Donghae there. He looked at him in
surprise before turning to look at him nastily. Then he just ignored him as always.
I guess Ill just leave. Donghae said and got no respond from neither of them. Thanks anyway.
Before closing the door behind him he heard Sungmin say: Ew, what was he doing here? Dont
let him in! and Eunhyuk responding: I wont.
SM Boarding School
Chapter five, part two
The 10p.m-rule didnt count today and Donghae was incredible bored. When he returned from
Eunhyuk and Sungmin's room he saw that Siwon was studying. He knew he should do it too but
he wasnt in the mood for it and didnt have any plans of doing it either. He thought about asking
Siwon do to something with him but he knew that Siwon had way too much discipline for that.
Instead he thought about another person, someone he had a little more influence on, and
stretched his arm over to his bedside table where his cell phone was lying.
Yeoboseyo. Kibum said in the phone.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
Do you want to go for a walk?
Now?
Yes. Im bored. Are you busy?
Kibum was silent for a moment. Uh... he said and Donghae could hear that he was doing
something. He was probably studying too. No. he finally said, but didnt sound very honest. Uh,
no. He went silent again before repeating himself. No, Im not. he said again and this time
sounded more honest. Ill just... change clothes. Ill be over in a minute.
Donghae knew Kibum well and he knew that he had interrupted him in something. Its okay if
youre busy. We can do it some other time.
"No, no. Kibum said and Donghae could hear that he was opening his wardrobe. Ill be there in
a minute.
Donghae smiled. Ill be waiting.
And as promised, only after just some minutes Kibum knocked the door. Donghae told Siwon
goodbye before putting his jacket and shoes on and opened the door. Were you studying?
Donghae asked suspiciously when getting out of his dorm.
No. Kibum answered but Donghae could tell he was lying.
He sighed over dramatically, only to show Kibum how hopeless he was. Kibum chuckled. Before
they left Donghae got a feeling that someone was watching them, exactly the same feeling he
had the first day he arrived here. He turned around and saw that Eunhyuk and Sungmins
bedroom door was opened, only enough for someone to peek at them. He saw Sungmin smirking
before closing the door. Kibum looked at Donghae with a questioning look while Donghae just
shrug his shoulders.
As soon as they got out from the school area Donghae got a feeling of freedom that he couldnt

describe. He felt both happy and relaxed. He grabbed Kibum by the arm and Kibum immediately
froze while getting his cheeks a little redder. Why are you being so shy? Donghae asked when
seeing Kibums reaction.
"Im not shy.
Yes you are.
No, Im just tired.
Donghae laughed. Tired and blushing?
Kibum didnt reply and Donghae hadnt expected him to do so either. They walked in silence. It
was rarely they experienced an uncomfortable silence together, even though they were so
different. Donghae loved talking while Kibum wasnt really good at it. But they knew how to
compromise, without ever making it awkward. They knew how to talk with their eyes and body.
Words were rarely needed.
I was really sad when you left. Donghae suddenly said. Kibum didnt answer. He didnt even
look at his hyung. The only thing he did was to blush. Again. See! Donghae laughed. Youre
blushing!
No, Im not. Stop it.
Donghae laughed again, finding Kibums shyness extremely cute.
How are your parents? Kibum asked to change the subject. And your hyung?
Hyung is fine. Hes still working. And my moms fine too. She still asks about you, you know,
every now and then. Like, hows Kibumie? Have you talked to Kibumie?. Donghae tried to talk
as high-pitched as possible and somehow tried to sound like his mother. But he just ended up
sounding like he was in pain which made Kibum laugh.
Kibums laugh was rare; he wasnt an angry person but just a person that was always very
serious. Making Kibum laugh made Donghaes heart warm. It always had. But then Kibum
stopped laughing when he noticed that Donghae hadnt mentioned his father. He didnt know
whether he should bring it up or not. But he did it anyway, with the thought that if something really
had happened then Donghae would probably feel better if he talked about it.
And your dad? he asked and tried to smoothly say it while trying to hide the fact that he actually
was worried about the answer. Is he still sick?
The shining aura Donghae always had immediately disappeared. He swallowed and cleared his
throat, as if trying to get a hold of his voice, before answering. He got worse.
Kibum didnt have to ask more to understand. Im sorry. was the only thing he could think of to
say.
Donghae smiled, a way of trying to tell Kibum that he was fine. But Kibum saw right through him.
Its alright. he said. Thanks.
They both went silent again and Kibum tried to quickly come up with something more to say. Do
you want to talk about it?
Donghae shook his head. Its okay.

I know Im not that good with words. But Im a good listener.

The older one smiled again, only this time a little happier. I know. He stopped walking which
made Kibum stop as well. You can hug me instead. This time Kibum didnt blush. Instead he just
stared at Donghae, as if trying to figure out if Donghae was messing with him or not. Donghae
laughed. Youre so slow. he said before hugging the younger by his waist.
Yes, Kibum was slow; because it took some seconds for him to realize that Donghae was not
messing with, and respond the hug.
Youve grown. Donghae said when Kibum hugged him back.
Kibum chuckled soundlessly, but Donghae could feel it since he was being so close; his head on
Kibums shoulder. Ive always been taller.
Stop bragging.
They both laughed a little and then stayed liked that in silence. Until Kibum broke it. Hyung? he
said and Donghae could hear that he was hesitating.
What?
I need to tell you something.
Donghae pulled away from the hug to show that he was listening, since Kibum suddenly was
sounding like he had something really important to say. But Kibum never got to finish what he
wanted to say, because a group of guys interrupted them.
What have we here? a voice behind Donghae and Kibum said. They both turned around and
almost lost their breath. Ten guys were standing there, all covering their faces with something.
The one speaking had a scarf that covered all his face except from his eyes. The ones that didnt
have a scarf had pulled down their cap to cover their eyes while others used their hood.
This could impossibly be a good sign. Donghae and Kibum looked at each other, asking with the
eyes if the man was talking to them (even if it was obvious), before turning to look at the one
speaking.
What are two turtle doves like you doing out here at this hour? another one, standing beside the
one how previously spoke, asked. They both had unknown voices but when Donghae looked at
Kibum again he got a feeling that Kibum knew who they were. The guys standing behind them
were chuckling and probably grinning too. The one speaking now was taller and stronger then
both Kibum and Donghae together, compared to the first one who was tall but skinny. Donghae
moved some steps closer to Kibum, not knowing if they should respond or not.
Were on our way home. Kibum answered and Donghae could hear the effort he made in trying
to sound calm. While responding Kibum took a small step forward to stand in front of Donghae.
Donghae grabbed his hand,without the guys noticing, even though they were standing
dangerously close to the two boys. Where they drunk? Donghae hoped so since you could easily
run away from clumsy drunk guys. But reality was cruel; hey didnt seem drunk at all but just very
dangerous.
Oh, youre on your way home. the skinny one said and nodded, as if he just had learned
something very useful and important. Then I guess we shouldnt bother you. he said and looked
at Donghae, whose body was shaking and face was pale. He smirked Donghae could see it in
the taller ones eyes.

Kibum didnt reply that, but instead grabbed Donghaes hand harder getting a very bad feeling.
Donghae could almost hear Kibums heartbeat. Or was it his own?
Well, I guess well be leaving. the skinny one said. He was about to turn around, or at least it
looked like it, when he instead suddenly pushed Donghae so hard that he fell to the ground, on
his knees and hands, with a squeal.
Then everything started. Three guys made sure to grab Kibum hard by his arms, to prevent him
from interfering when the other guys took turns to kick the kneeling Donghae. Donghae didnt see
how many of them were hitting him, since he was desperately trying to cover his face with his
arms receiving kicks on his back and stomach. He could hear Kibum screaming his name, with
a broken voice and he could hear laughs and insults coming from the group of guys. He didnt
even know if they were using their feet or hands to hit him. All he knew was that he was scared
scared for his own sake and for Kibums and he was crying. He could feel the warm blood running
down from his nose and he lost his breath. The asphalt started to rip up his chin and cheeks
when he desperately tried to prevent the punches and kicks.
He screamed, cried and called for help but no one came to his rescue. He thought about Kibum
what where they doing to him? He was about to die he could swear it. That was the only thing
he had in mind. Death, death, death and Kibum. He was going to die and so was Kibum. Soon he
couldnt even breathe with his nose and had to take deep breath with his mouth. Every time he
breathed it felt like he was going to vomit and he started to spit blood. He was starting to feel
numb and heard Kibum cry out his name again before he passed out.
Hyung, stop it. a voice said which made Donghae wake up. The voice was different from the
others it wasnt happy or proud. The one speaking sounded bothered and, if possible, a little
worried. Donghae knew that the voice was familiar, but he couldnt think of a face that matched
the voice. His mind was too blurred, just like his vision. He felt a kick on his leg. It hurt, but he
couldnt even scream or cry out in pain. He couldnt even move. How long had they been there?
I-Its enough. Stop it. the same voice said again.
Donghae tried to look up and see who the person was not recalling the voice bothered him. But
when he looked up he didnt see anything but just some blurred faces and the dark heaven. Then
his hearing seemed to disappear and he thought he saw someone crouching down beside him.
Was it Kibum? He tried to search for Kibum, but then suddenly felt very dizzy. He made an
attempt to call for him and opened his mouth. He didnt know if he succeeded in saying
something. Then everything went black again.
**
Donghae slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was a white ceiling. His lips were dry
and when he swallowed he tasted blood. His whole body was hurting, his arms and legs, ribs, his
back, his head everything. He wondered for how long he had been unconscious. He realized
that he was lying in a bed and could, to 99.9% tell that he was safe and should not worry even
though the bed was unfamiliar. He turned his head and saw somebody sitting there, beside his
bed. He couldnt tell who the person was at first, since he wasnt looking at Donghae but at his
cell phone, typing something. He had a white cap on, without a bill, that almost covered his eyes
and because of that Donghae couldnt recognize him. Beside, his vision was still blurred, from
having his eyes closed for so long, and that didnt make things easier. He tried to speak but his
throat was too dry. Instead, he tried to chuckle. It was weak and it hurt, but it was enough to get
the sitting persons attention. The person looked up and Donghae thought that he was dreaming.
He must be.

Stop looking at me like that. Eunhyuk said, since Donghaes opened mouth and widened eyes
bothered him.
Donghae tried to speak again. Wh-where... was as far as he got.
In the school nurses room. Eunhyuk responded. How are you?
The question was nice, the tone wasnt though. Donghae didnt even try to answer that.
Responding good would just be ridiculous. The question was obvious and the least thing
Donghae needed right now was to verbally remind himself of how shitty he was feeling. Instead
he just wondered why the heck Eunhyuk was there. Then he wondered why he himself was there,
when he for a second forgot what had happened. He remembered some masked boys. Where
they robbing him? He didnt remember. But then, his heart almost stopped beating when he did
remember that he hadnt been alone.
Kibum... he said in a whisper, being totally shocked.
What?
Kibum. Donghae repeated in panic. He flew of the bed, ignoring his hurting body and ignoring
the feeling of wanting to vomit. But his body was too weak and it hurt too much so he just fell. He
didnt fall to the floor though, since Eunhyuk was fast enough, and strong enough, to grab him
and prevent him from falling down. He pressed Donghae back to a sitting position on the bed and
placed his hands on Donghaes shoulders to stop him from leaving. Donghae knew Eunhyuk was
saying something, but he had too many terrible fantasizes rushing though his mind to listen.
Kibum was there! he screamed, his voice shaking and cracking. Where is he? He was there!
He tried to push Eunhyuk away but failed, since in this state he wasnt even half as strong as
Eunhyuk was. The room was spinning and he could swear that he would faint at any second.
Wheres Kibum? he screamed again when realizing that it was useless trying to push Eunhyuk
away. He was there with me! Where is he?!
Calm down! Eunhyuk screamed, loud enough to finally make Donghae to shut up.
Donghaes body was shaking, his eyes all red and his face having a frightened expression. His
eyelids were heavy and he had to focus to not let them close. He was there with me... he said in
a whisper, looking at Eunhyuk as if he just waited for Eunhyuk to say something horrible.
I know he was. Eunhyuk said, his hands still holding Donghaes shoulders to keep him in his
sitting position, and also to help him sit straight up since Donghae didnt have good balance
right now. Hes fine, so calm down. Hes not even here, they sent him back to his own room after
examining him. Hes fine.
Donghae still looked terrified, his hands shaking. He had heard what Eunhyuk had said but his
head wasnt clear enough for him to understand the meaning of it. He realized that he was
holding his breath and dared to slowly exhale. Hes fine... he repeated over and over again.
Hes fine...
Yes, hes fine, so calm down. Eunhyuk answered and slowly let go of Donghaes shoulders.
Donghae nodded fast, not even knowing what he was agreeing to. He was slowly starting to
realize what was happening Kibum was fine. That was the only thing he cared about right now.
When finally realizing this, for real, all emotions came. The frighten, the relief, the sadness, the
happiness everything. He didnt know if he wanted to cry or laugh. His eyes started to water
even more and the lump in his throat got even heavier. He looked Eunhyuk in the eyes and
Eunhyuk saw the desperation of comfort the younger one needed.

Donghae slowly raised his shaken arms. He hesitated for a second, searching for anger or hate in
the others eyes like he usually saw when Eunhyuk was looking at him. But no, Eunhyuk just
looked confused and a little awkward when realizing what Donghae wanted to do. Donghae
carefully warped his arms around Eunhyuks neck, hugging him weakly. Eunhyuk didnt move and
he didnt say anything either. But Donghae wasnt consciously enough to care or to wonder what
Eunhyuk was thinking. His mind was blank, he was sweating and shaking and felt like he was on
his edge of collapsing. He needed comfort; not caring from where and he dared to hug Eunhyuk a
little tighter as the tears started to fall. Eunhyuk didnt hug him back, but instead just let Donghae
receive that comfort and protection he so desperately needed right now. In other words, he just
stayed still and let Donghae hug him as long as he wanted.
SM Boarding School
Chapter six
The nurse, a young and pretty lady, came to give Donghae some more tablets and a glass of
water. Donghaes left wrist was sprained and hurt like hell, but other than that he wasnt seriously
hurt. His forehead and cheeks had cuts from the asphalt that were still bleeding and his legs hurt
but he could still walk. Not properly and not fast but he could still walk. His whole body was
sore. His hand was wrapped in bandage and so was his forehead; looking like a headband. The
nurse had already cleaned up the blood from his upper lip and chin. Hes clothes were dirty and
his shirt had some of his own blood on it.
Donghae could guess by himself that what they had done to him was probably just so scare him
and not to seriously injure him. Realizing that didnt cheer him up though. He told the nurse that
he fell down from the stairs in the boys dorms and when she didnt looked totally convinced
Eunhyuk was the witness. Before leaving the nurse told them that it was getting late and asked
Eunhyuk to stay with him just a little more so Donghae wouldnt feel alone. Eunhyuk wasnt in the
mood for complaining so, even though he really didnt like it, he promised to stay, without
protesting.
When the nurse left the room became completely quiet, with Donghae sitting on the bed and
Eunhyuk sitting on a chair beside it.
Thanks. Donghae suddenly said, as he sobbed for one last time and rubbed his eyes. His hands
were still shaking, but he had already calmed down by now, even though he still didnt know
exactly what had happened. But he thought that he already knew what he needed to know;
Kibum was fine and he himself was safely in the school nurses room.
If you tell anyone Ill kill you. Eunhyuk answered back. It was a weird, since he didnt use his
usual voice when saying something mean. It sounded more like he said it as a reflex.
Donghae laughed a little, when thinking about how ironic all this was. No one will believe me
anyway.
They stayed silent again, which wasnt very weird since they really didnt have anything to talk
about. It was just getting more and more awkward for every second that passed. Especially when
they started to think about what happened just some minutes ago. Then, Donghae realized that
he still didnt have an explanation to why Eunhyuk was there in the first place. What are you
doing here? he asked and looked at him.
I found you. Eunhyuk simply replied, looking at his hands. And your friend.
Donghae nodded, since he couldnt think about something more to say. He had already thanked
him and he already knew what Eunhyuk was doing there. There wasnt much more to say. But
then a thought crossed Donghaes mind. A terrifying thought. He looked at Eunhyuk and tried to
figure out the answer by himself. It didnt take a genius to put the jigsaw pieces into place. Where

you there? he suddenly asked.

The question surprised Eunhyuk even thought he knew he should be prepared for it. He looked
up. When he didnt answer Donghae continued talking. It was your friends, right? he kept
looking Eunhyuk in the eyes when speaking. Where you there? he asked again.
Eunhyuk took his time to answer, also looking Donghae in the eyes all the time. You think I
was?. He didnt sound offended or worried. He talked as if they were talking about something
ordinary what they would eat for lunch or what time their lesson would start.
I dont know. Thats why Im asking.
Why would I like to beat you up?
I dont think you did.
Then why are you
But that doesnt mean that you really wouldnt. Donghae said and interrupted the older.
Everyone else, my friends for example, is going to have you in mind as soon as they find out.
And they kind of have a reason.
I wouldnt be here if I was the one who hit you.
Donghae wondered why Eunhyuk didnt lose his patience, like he always did, and said something
to make Donghae shut up. His expression was unreadable too. There was like ten guys there but
only three or four of them were hitting me. he continued. I dont think youre one of those three
or four guys, but Im not sure about the other six, seven guys.
They kept staring at each other while a tense atmosphere was being spread in the room.
Donghae didnt fear Eunhyuk at all rather the opposite.
No. he finally said, dryly.
Donghae didnt believe him, Eunhyuk clearly saw that. Donghae still looked at him, with judging
eyes, as if trying to find some sign that told him Eunhyuk was lying. But he didnt found it.
Eunhyuk was either a good liar or he really was telling the truth. Donghae wasnt sure.
I dont trust you. Donghae said honestly, without trying to offend or insult the other. But I will
believe you in this. Eunhyuk didnt answer, but just silently let Donghae continue talking. But if
youre lying Ill never forgive you. Eunhyuk still didnt say anything. He didnt even nod or
anything. He just stared at Donghae; looking like he was thinking about something very deeply.
Im sorry if I offended you.
When realizing that Donghae was done talking Eunhyuk got up from his seat. Ive got some
things to do. he said before leaving not turning to look at Donghae or waiting for Donghae to
reply. Donghae followed him with his eyes all the time, till Eunhyuk got out of the door and was
completely out of sight and broke the promise he had made to the nurse.
**
It was late, past midnight, and Donghae couldnt sleep. He was tired but he didnt dare to close
his eyes. It was too quiet and Donghae was the only one there. Donghae had never been afraid
of the dark before, but now he was terrified. He imagined that someone was there, hiding, and

waiting for him to fall asleep. His heart started to beat faster in fear and he started to sweat. If
someone really was there he was totally helpless; he was hurt and alone and he didnt even have
his cell phone there. His chest started to hurt when thinking about it and he had troubles
breathing.
Then he tried to tell himself over and over again that of course no one was there, it was just his
imagination. That didnt help at all. He was still scared, to the point where he couldnt take it
anymore and cried. He didnt sleep at all that night, but just waited for the sun to go up; shaking,
crying and praying. He felt like a baby, defenseless and small.
It wasnt till the sun got up that he could finally breathe out in relief. The nurse came to give him
some more tablets for the pain and asked politely questions, if he was feeling better and if he
slept well. Donghae smiled and told her that yes, he was feeling better and yes, he slept well. She
didnt take notice of Donghaes red eyes and bags under them since she was too busy.
Just before the nurse left they heard steps outside in the corridor. Normally you never heard when
people were walking through the corridors since the walls were pretty thick, but this person was
running will all his might. The running person was Kibum, and he almost slammed the door open.
He stopped in the doorway to get his breath back, with one hand over his fast pumping heart.
Please dont run here. the nurse said to him when he passed her and walked over to the bed
Donghae was lying in and landed on the chair that was still standing there beside the bed. Kibum
didnt even turn to look at her and he didnt answer, even though he had heard her. She frowned
a little at his rudeness, before leaving.
Im so sorry for not being here yesterday. was the first thing he said. Im so sorry. How are
you?
Dont be silly. Donghae said and smiled a little. And Im fine. At least better than yesterday.
I wanted to be here but the nurse told me to go back to my dorm because it was so late and you
needed to rest. I said I wanted to stay here but she was nagging and all. Im sorry.
Donghae stretched his right arm, the only arm he could use right now, to hit Kibum lightly on the
head, to tell him that it was stupid of him to apologize.
Did you sleep anything at all? Kibum suddenly asked, when seeing Donghaes zombie-look that
was not because of what happened yesterday.
Donghae nodded. But only a little. he added when he saw that Kibum didnt believe him. But its
fine.
It really doesnt matter, at least youre okay. Kibum said.
Donghae was about to say the same thing when he remembered that terrifying feeling he got
yesterday when he first woke up. Just the thought of it made him shiver. Shit, you scared the
heck out of me. he said and grabbed Kibums hand. His hand was very cold, so Donghae
grabbed it hard to make it warm. Kibum didnt understand what he was talking about. Oh, God.
he sighed when thinking about it. It was horrible, I thought you were dead or something. He
raised his head and looked at Kibum, who was totally unharmed. But they didnt touch you. he
said to himself in a hesitant voice; he found it hard to believe. Did they do anything to you?
Kibum shook his head. They were just holding me, he pulled his hand away from Donghaes
and rolled up his sleeves to show Donghae his bruised wrists. really hard. But no, they didnt hit
me.

Donghae was glad that they didnt hurt Kibum, but he couldnt exactly cheer since he got even
more scared for his own sake. Their target had been only Donghae.
It was Heechul hyung. Kibum suddenly said. And Kangin hyung and their fucking lapdogs.
He didnt have to say that Donghae was smart enough to figure that out himself. But what he
didnt know was how Eunhyuk got in the picture.
How did we get here?
Eunhyuk hyung saw us. When they left you fainted. I tried to help you up and suddenly he was
just passing by and helped me.
Donghae just nodded and tried to imagine what that would look like. He had a feeling that Kibum
and Eunhyuk couldnt stand each other.
What a coincidence, huh? Kibum said, and chuckled sarcastically.
He said he wasnt there.
Of course he would say that he wasnt there. Why would he have told you the truth?
Why would he have helped us? Kibum couldnt argue back to that. But that didnt mean that he
believed it. Im not going to call the police. Donghae said, knowing that Kibum would eventually
bring it up.
Kibum raised his eyebrows. He told himself that he had misheard what Donghae had said.
What?
I wont call the police. And you wont either.
The younger frowned, not understanding at all what Donghae was saying. Was he out of his
mind?
I dont want people to know what happened.
They almost killed you!
No, they didnt.
Yes, they
Donghae hurried to place his fingers over Kibums lips to stop him from talking. Just listen. he
said. Kibum looked both angry and disappointed, which he also was, but nodded and stayed
quiet. It will only make things worse. They didnt want to hurt me, but just scare me. Now, theyll
leave me alone. I dont want to involve more people and most of all; I dont want my family to
know. Kibum didnt look convinced at all. He shook his head, to show that Donghaes arguments
werent enough. Please. Donghae said. Dont tell anyone. Theyll send me back home. You of
all people know how hard Ive worked to be able to be here. If my family finds out they wont care
about anything and just make sure that I return to Mokpo. Kibum was still not convinced, but his
expression softened a little. What am I supposed to do in Mokpo? You know why Im here.
Kibum was still not agreeing but he gave in. He nodded slowly, still hesitating.
Promise me.

He kept nodding and bit his bottom lip to prevent him from taking back what he just promised.
Donghae grabbed his hand again, the same hand he was previously holding. It wasnt so cold
anymore.
Donghae asked Kibum to lend him his phone. Luckily for him, Donghae was good in
remembering numbers and a couple of tries and guesses he managed to call Siwon.
Donghae?! Siwon almost screamed, before Donghae could even say hello and he had to pull
the phone away from his ear to protect it.
How did you know?
Do you know how worried Ive been? Ive called you like a million times, till I saw that your phone
was lying here. Why didnt you bring it with you? You could have borrowed someones phone and
at least have texted me. Where are you? Why didnt you bring your damn phone?!
Donghae got speechless. Both because he had never heard Siwon being so worried and angry
before and because he didnt expect to hear that this early in the morning. He heard Siwon take a
breath, probably to keep screaming. Im in the nurses room. he said fast, before Siwon could
say something more. Siwon got silent, probably since he didn't expect Donghae to say something
like that. I fell down from the stairs. Im sorry I didnt call you.
Wh-what? How are you? Siwons voice immediately changed and he didnt sound angry at all
anymore. When did it happen?
Yesterday. When Donghae noticed that Kibum wasnt looking at him, but at another direction.
Kibum didnt like it when Donghae lied. Kibum and I were returning from our walk. But Im fine.
Im sorry I made you worry about me.
Ill be there in a minute. Siwon hung up before Donghae could say something more and
Donghae could imagine how Siwon was running, just as Kibum was, to get there.
Siwon didnt come alone, Ryeowook was also there. The younger, short boy brought some
snacks with him and told Donghae to get well soon. Donghae got surprised since he didnt know
Ryeowook very well but he almost pinched the youngers cheek for being so cute. When
Ryeowook asked what had happened and Donghae told him about the stairs he looked
suspiciously at his hyung. But he didnt say anything about it and just nodded. He and Kibum
stayed there only some minutes more, before they left since neither of them had eaten breakfast
yet. They promised to return as soon as possible.
When both males left, Siwon walked over to sit on the edge of Donghaes bed. He silently
inspected Donghae carefully before sighing. You didnt fell down from the stairs, did you? he
asked.
Donghae cleared his throat. Yes, I did.
Im not stupid, Donghae.
He looked Donghae straight in the eyes. It was them, right? Eunhyuk and
No. I talked to him. Donghae interrupted him with.
When?

Yesterday. He was the one that found me and Kibum.

What did he tell you?
He wasnt there.
And you believed him?
Yes.
Siwon sighed again, only this time angrier. He drew his hand through his short, black hair. Are
you thinking with your head? he almost screamed, this time sounding more upset then worried.
How can you be so naive?
Im not naive.
How can you even try to defend him? Are you aware of what happened to you?!
Please, I dont want to talk about it. They already succeeded in what they wanted. They wanted
to scare me and I am. I am scared to death. So please, just leave it. Siwon went silent. He
closed his eyes to calm himself down and nodded. I know youre not saying this because you
want to bother me. Donghae said. I know you care and all, but I really dont want to talk about it
right now.
I know. Im sorry. Siwon raised himself to put a supporting hand on Donghaes shoulder. He
sighed, for the third time. Is there anything I can do for you?
Donghae smiled a little, as a though crossed his mind; something Siwon had told him the first day
he arrived, when Donghae had no idea what kind of people Eunhyuk and his friends were. That
blanket and hot chocolate would be perfect now. he said.
Siwon didnt understand the meaning of it till he also remembered the first day. He chuckled
silently.
**
Donghae didnt go to class and stayed in his room for a whole week. The reason for why he
stayed home wasnt that he was feeling bad physically. The reason was because Donghae
couldnt sleep. The nurse asked him to stay there yet another night but Donghae refused. The
night had traumatized him and he never, ever wanted to go back there. All he wanted was to just
return to his room. At least there he wasnt alone.
That didnt help though. Donghae still had troubles sleeping and when he finally managed to fall
asleep he woke up three hours later sweating, breathing fast and being on the edge of crying.
They were haunting him in his dreams, masked boys, hurting him, till Donghae woke up. After
that he didnt dare to sleep again and ended up with yet another sleepless night.
Thats how the days passed. In daylight everything went fine; his friends came to visit him and
brought him food while Siwon helped him study to catch up with the class. The nights, on the
other hand, were terrible. Some nights he slept for two hours, other nights for three and if he was
very lucky he slept for four hours. But no matter how many hours he slept, he always ended up
waking up because of a nightmare. Some nights he cried, some nights he didnt. But he never
woke Siwon up because he didnt want to bother him and every time Siwon asked how he had

slept he always answered fine, and you?. He never explained why he suddenly was so tired all
the time, why his eyes were red when he woke up and why he had dark circles under his eyes.
Donghae decided to return a Thursday. He had succeeded in sleeping four hours and decided
that it was enough he couldnt stay in his room forever. He and Siwon did like they always did;
ate breakfast in their room before getting ready and walk over to the main building.
Their first class was Korean, with the teacher Donghae first met when he arrived, the one who
gave Siwon permission to leave the classroom and help the new student. He was nice and
Donghae liked him. I heard about your accident. the man said, when he saw Donghae entering
the classroom and Donghae could hear curious people whisper what accident?. Get well soon.
Donghae nodded, bowed and thanked him before walking over to his seat.
When all students arrived and were about to open their books the teacher stopped them and said
that he had something to tell them. Before we start todays lesson I have something to tell you.
Some students raised one eyebrow while others did what Donghae and Siwon did; look at each
other with a questioning look and shrug their shoulders. No one understood what their teacher
was talking about. Well go on a trip tomorrow their teacher continued. to a forest where we will
study trees.
What? some students in unison.
You heard me.
The students started to moan and complain, some silently cursing their teacher for being so
spontaneous. The teacher ignored it completely and continued talking.
We'll travle by bus. Youll sleep in a tent and
WHAT?! this time the whole class, except for Donghae, said.
Yes. You guys take everything for granted. Donghae couldnt agree more. A nice bed, a bathtub
no. Youll sleep in a tent for three nights. Its time for you to learn a real lesson.
By staring at trees and sleeping in a freaking tent?! a guy from the back row asked.
Exactly. the teacher answered, with the same sarcasm as the student asking used. Now, well
go through this papers together. he held up a bunch of papers, that were previously lying on his
desk in front of him, so everyone could see it. Here are all instructions; rules, information about
the assignment, what you must bring and so on. He distributed four papers to each student and
they started to complain again; one after another.
So you really are serious? For real? a guy, sitting behind Eunhyuk, said when the teacher left
his papers on his desk.
Well sleep in a tent? another one added.
I am very serious. the teacher casually responded.
Is it really a good idea? a third one asked. Were from SM, you know.
Yeah, does the principal even know about this?
Dont you think
The last student didnt have time to finish her sentence before the teacher interrupted them. He

was starting to get irritated. I dont care if youre from SM or not. he said honestly. And yes, he
knows. Youll leave tomorrow, Friday, and return next weeks Monday.
The class didnt stop complaining for that but instead started to complain even more and louder
since they realized that they couldnt escape from this at all.
Let him do it. Eunhyuk suddenly said he didnt have to scream to make the whole class hear
him and pointed at Donghae with his head, since the effort of doing it with his hand wasnt worth
it. Hes probably used to it.
The class started to laugh and Donghae didnt even mind to care or even sigh. He had learned by
now how to become immune against Eunhyuks comments.
Enough! their teacher screamed losing the small amount of patience that he had left. He
turned to glare at Eunhyuk. How old are you, Hyukjae ssi? he asked. Eunhyuk didnt answer,
since the teacher already knew how old he was. He was just making fun of him and Eunhyuk did
not like it. Answer me. the teacher demanded.
Seventeen. Eunhyuk answered with a glare.
This time Donghae was the one that wanted to laugh. The whole class was tensely following
everything that was going on; teacher versus Eunhyuk. Donghae, on the other hand, had to bite
his bottom lip to not laugh out loud.
Then act like it. the man finished with.
Donghae was the only one finding this hilarious. Not even Siwon laughed but just looked at him in
a bothered way and tried to tell him to stop it, without using words. Eunhyuk didnt fail to notice
that Donghae was quietly laughing at him. So when the teacher turned around Eunhyuk ripped of
a part of his paper and crumpled it up. Then he threw it at Donghaes direction and it hit his head.
He succeeded in getting Donghaes attention and when Donghae turned around to see where
that piece of paper came from Eunhyuk clearly mouthed fuck you. Donghae didnt stop for that,
quiet the reverse he found if even more amusing. He smirked at him which made Eunhyuk even
more angry, before casually turning around completely enjoying this moment.
When distributing all papers their teacher walked over to his on his desk. He adjusted his glasses
before speaking. Since I know it can be very noisy on the bus he looked at the corner where
Eunhyuk and his friends were sitting. Ive decided who you will sit with. The person sitting beside
you will also be the person youll share a tent with. Look at the second paper, theres the list of
who youll be paired up with.
After some seconds they whole class burst out laughing. Everyone except from Eunhyuk and
Donghae, since they knew everyone was laughing at them. They both looked exactly the same;
terrified. Siwon wasnt laughing either, since he was feeling so, so sorry for his friend.
There, on the list, was 'Lee Donghae Lee Hyukjae clearly written.
No way... Eunhyuk whispered, his eyes being huge and he was reading that sentence over and
over again. He did not want to believe it. Sungmin, sitting beside him, had already started to shed
tears from laughing so hard. He couldnt even breathe and tried to cover his mouth to muffle his
laughter, but failed.
Donghae looked pleadingly at Siwon, begging for mercy. But Siwon couldnt give him that, so
instead he just put a cheerfully hand on his friends shoulder. Oh God... Donghae whispered.
This was nothing he was looking forward to.

SM Boarding School
Chapter seven
Of course, the bus wasnt a usual bus. They were from SM Boarding School, after all. The bus
they would take was huge, clean and had incredible comfortable seats. Donghae was the only
one who got impressed and got totally excited of just the thought of being in that bus. The other
students were still complaining.
Siwon didnt like this tent idea either. He had never slept in a tent before and he had no interest in
doing so either. But he didnt complain since he was Donghaes friend.
Earlier, when they had told Kibum and Ryeowook what their class would be doing this weekend
Ryeowook gasped the thought of sleeping in a tent was, to him, terrifying and Kibum just
laughed.
Siwon and Donghae went through the checklist together: pajamas, toothbrush, pocket money,
snacks to eat on the bus and clothes, since their teacher had been kind enough to allow them to
use their ordinary clothes instead of their uniform.
Day one
Donghae got the seat beside the window, since Eunhyuk apparently didnt like that seat, but
Donghae didnt complain. They didnt say a word to each other during the whole trip. Eunhyuk
was talking to the persons sitting behind them, in front of them and even far away. He wasnt
sitting properly and when the teacher told them to calm down they did, for like five minutes, till
everything started again. Donghae got a headache, not only because they were so noisy but also
because he barely slept the night before. He felt like a living dead, staring emptily at the floor in
front of him without thinking about anything at all. Even Eunhyuk noticed that something was
wrong with him. Now and then he glanced over at him, without Donghae noticing. Of course,
Eunhyuk didnt say anything about it and he didnt ask what was wrong. Instead he kept talking
and laughing with the other students.
Two hours passed quickly to Eunhyuk. Two hours felt like two thousand years to Donghae. After
two hours the students got tired and calmed down for real and Eunhyuk was finally sitting
properly on his seat. Donghae turned his face to look outside the window and made it just in time
to see the sunset. He rested his head against the window and gave his mind some rest. The sky,
painted in blue, red and purple was beautiful and even though he was tired and wasnt feeling
very well he smiled. He let his mind go back to Mokpo, when his father woke him up early in the
morning to see the sunrise and let him stay up till late to see the sunset, over the sea. Donghaes
love for the sea and the sun was something he got from his father.
He woke up from his nostalgia when something landed on his right shoulder and lap, and he felt a
smell of perfume that didnt belong to him. When he turned his head he met with brown hair that
tickled his face and neck. He realized that Eunhyuk was lying with his head on his shoulder and
his hand resting over Donghaes lap. He must be sleeping since he would never, ever be
consciously this close to Donghae. Donghae awkwardly turned his head to see if someone was
watching them, but the people sitting opposite them were also sleeping. Then he glanced at
Eunhyuks head again and wasnt sure if he should wake the older up or not. But Donghae got a
feeling that Eunhyuk would hate him even more if he woke him up, both because he probably
wanted to sleep and also because he would get embarrassed. So Donghae turned too looked
outside the window again and tried his hardest to not think about that soft hand and that magical
scent. He had a hard time concentrating.
They arrived safely when the bus stopped in an unknown place, beside a huge forest. The
students started to complain again when the bus driver helped them to get their bags out and
their teacher told them that they would walk to where they would set up their tents. He told them
to go with the person they had been paired up with and together carry their own bags, the tent

and their sleeping bags. Because Donghaes wrist was still wrapped in bandage Eunhyuk had to
carry the tent and bags by himself. He gave Donghae his death glare and Donghae tried his
hardest to not smirk.
When walking for almost fifteen minutes they finally arrived to a glade. The students were tired,
as if they had been working for a whole day, and kept complaining. The teacher just sighed,
slightly starting to regret having brought this class with him. The sun was still on its way down and
they had to hurry to set up the tent, since it would be almost impossible setting it up when it would
be dark. Setting up the tent was the only task their teacher gave them for today.
Donghae carefully pulled everything out, the tools for the tent, with one hand to not hurt his wrist
even more. Eunhyuk had made himself comfortable on the ground, his back against a tree, and
watched him. When noticing that Eunhyuk didnt have any plans of wanting to cooperate
Donghae turned to look at him and raised his eyebrows. He didnt have to say anything, since
Eunhyuk understood what his look meant.
Im so not doing this. he simply said.
Am I supposed to do this alone? Eunhyuk didnt answer, but just looked arrogantly at him. With
my hand? Donghae added and held up his hurt wrist so Eunhyuk could see it.
Eunhyuk raised himself, but Donghae doubted that it was to help him. And just as Donghae
predicted Eunhyuk just walked passed him and said I dont care. Do it yourself. before walking
away, over to where his friends were sitting. This time, Donghae was the one glaring at him.
Hyukjae and his friends left, not caring about the tent at all. Donghae still tried to do it, but
couldnt do very much with only one hand. Things fell down, blew away and when he tried with
both his hands it hurt too much. He sighed.
Wheres Hyukjae? someone behind him suddenly asked.
He didnt have to turn around to know who it was, but he did it anyway to be polite. He left.
Donghae answered honestly.
Their teacher sighed, just like Donghae had done previously, before crouching down to help his
student.
That boy is hopeless. he mumbled, and Donghae didnt know if he said it to him or to himself.
Either way, Donghae couldnt agree more.
The teacher sure liked to talk so while setting up the tent they chatted about a little of everything.
He asked Donghae about Mokpo and his family, Donghae not mentioning his father at all, and he
told him about his secret love for nature, especially trees. He was a little weird how the heck
can you find trees interesting? but Donghae liked him even more. When being almost done the
man suddenly went silent and Donghae recognized that moment. Donghae was also good in
talking and every time he suddenly stopped it was because he wanted to bring up a serious
or/and important subject.
Donghae shi. the teacher suddenly said, when Donghae was sitting down on the ground and
taking out his sleeping bag. Is it just me or do you and Hyukjae dont get along very well?
The question was the most comical thing Donghae had ever heard. We dont know each other.
he answered.
I understand he hangs out with the wrong people.

Donghae shrugged his shoulders, not really understanding the point his teacher had by asking
him this kinds of questions. Did Siwon have anything to do with this?
To be honest, I talked to Siwon shi. Oh, you dont say. He said they randomly say mean things
to you. The teacher was obviously waiting for Donghae to reply, since he made a pause for
Donghae to talk. But Donghae didnt answer since he didnt know if he would regret it later. So he
stayed quiet and their teacher took that as a yes, they do. Do they hurt you physically?
Except from Eunhyuk burning his thighs with tea? Except from them pushing Donghae in the
corridors, sometimes so hard that Donghae got bruises? Except from beating him up a Friday
night? No. Donghae answered. They dont.
The teacher nodded, not noticing anything weird or suspicious about Donghaes answer. Do you
want me to help you talk about this with the principal?
Donghae didnt think twice and was quick with shaking his head. Its not that bad. The older man
looked at him with worried eyes but didnt try to convince Donghae since he though Donghae was
old enough to make his own decisions.
The tent was finished and the teacher looked at it with a satisfied smile, his hands on his waist.
The tent was blue and small was it only for one person? and Donghae couldnt even imagine
the look on Eunhyuks face when he would see this.
Thank you. Donghae said politely, still sitting on the ground.The teacher nodded and raised his
hand, instead of saying that it was okay.
Donghae was standing in front of the tent and the teacher behind it, so the man walked over to
him and Donghae got the feeling that he still was thinking about this Eunhyuk-thing. Lee Hyukjae
isnt a bad person. he suddenly said. Actually, he was a very good student his first years here.
Donghae raised his eyebrows and looked up at his teacher. Were they talking about the same
person? I think the seniors are the ones to blame. Hyukjae is just an immature boy that tries to fit
in.
Honestly, Donghae had always had that thought in the back of his mind. When he first saw
Eunhyuk he thought that there was something cute and almost angelic with him. He had a hard
time seeing it now though.
Tell me if anything gets wrong. was the last thing their teacher said and he waited for Donghae
to nod before walking over to some other students.
Donghae made the tent ready inside. He placed the sleeping bags and pulled his own and
Eunhyuks bag inside. He got outside only to make sure he hadnt forgotten anything and before
he returned inside he saw Eunhyuk walking towards him.
Is this a tent?! he asked, his eyes being huge, when seeing the size of it.
No. Donghae replied with a very serious tone. Its a UFO. It just landed here some seconds
ago. Eunhyuk didnt find Donghaes joke funny at all and decided to just ignore it, since he wasnt
in the mood to even glare at him. He crouched down to open the tent and looked inside. Im still
waiting for a thank you. Donghae said, considering the fact that Eunhyuk hadnt helped with
anything at all.
Keep waiting, idiot. was the respond, half of Eunhyuks body being inside the tent. Ah,
seriously... he muttered to himself. He took out his head and looked at Donghae, almost

pleadingly and Donghae just shrug his shoulders. He understood his pain.
They spent their next hours sitting as far away as possible from each other Donghae reading a
book with the help of a torch and Eunhyuk drinking strawberry milk with a small straw from a
small, pink box.
**
Move!
How can I possibly move anymore?
I dont care. Just move. Youre too close.
Are you deaf?! Move yourself!
It was late, past 11p.m, and their teacher had told them to go and sleep one hour ago. Eunhyuk
and Donghae were the only ones making any sounds, whispering and hissing to each other.
Eunhyuk sat up and sighed heavily, loudly and irritatingly. Donghae closed his eyes and just
pretended that Eunhyuk wasnt there. But after a while curiously took over and Donghae opened
one eye to look at what Eunhyuk was doing. He was drinking yet another strawberry milk and
reading Donghaes book.
Is that all you brought with you? Donghae asked and opened both his eyes. Eunhyuk didnt
answer. Are you hungry? Still no answer. Donghae sat up and opened his handbag where he
still had some snacks left, cookies and chips. He placed it in front of Eunhyuk and Eunhyuk
looked at him in surprise before looking suspiciously at the things inside in bag. I havent
poisoned them or anything. Eunhyuk chuckled.
Donghae was tired and to his surprise he easily fell asleep. The last thing he saw was Eunhyuk
still reading his book before everything went black. Soon he wasnt in his tent anymore but
outside his house, in Mokpo. And he wasnt there with Eunhyuk but alone. It was dark and all he
could see was a brown door, the opening to his small house. People were screaming inside and
he froze when he recognized the voices. It was them his mother and his brother, screaming in
pain. Donghae couldnt move. He tried to walk, but his feet were like glued to the ground. Move!
was the only thing he could think. MOVE!. He could hear his mother scream louder, screaming for
help and calling for her older son Donghaes brother. MOVE, DAMNIT!. She screamed louder,
this time calling for Donghae and asking him why he didnt help them. Why he was just standing
there and not doing anything.
Hey!
That was the sixth time calling and Donghae finally opened his eyes wide. He sat up, eyes
watering and breathing heavily sweating as if he had been running a marathon. He saw
someones silhouette and he panicked. But the other person had fast reflexes and was fast
enough to muffle Donghaes scream with his hand. Its just me. he whispered.
Who? Kibum? Siwon? Donghwa?
Donghae looked at the person, terrified, since it was too dark for him to see the others face.
Its just me. Calm down. the other whispered again.

Donghae nodded, slowly calming down and remembering where he was and with who. Eunhyuk
slowly removed his hand from his mouth.
Y-you scared me... Donghae breathed out, his voice shaking but not because he was scared but
because he was on the edge of crying. D-dont do that again...
He exhaled, pulled up his knees and hugged them; burying his face and biting his bottom lip,
trying with all his might to hold back the tears. His heart was starting to calm down.
Are you crying? Eunhyuk suddenly asked. Donghae shook his head, not caring if Eunhyuk saw
it or not.
After a while he dared to look up again, without having to worry about crying. He sighed and dried
his sweat in his forehead and neck with his uninjured hand. I-I need to take some fresh air. he
said, mostly to himself than to Eunhyuk before opening the tent and crawled out.
Eunhyuk and Donghae were not the only ones being awake, because Eunhyuk received a text
message only seconds after Donghae left the tent. He left the tent, right? Lets go and have some
fun.
Donghae was sitting on a stump, his hands covering his face and didnt notice the three same
aged boys watching him from behind.
What's he doing? Sungmin whispered. Eunhyuk had an idea of what he was doing.
We shouldnt do this. he said instead of answering, knowing that Donghae in all probability was
still vulnerable because of his nightmare.
Why not? Itll be fun. Shindong said. Eunhyuk wasnt convinced at all and his friends didnt fail to
notice. Come on, its not like we will hurt him. Well just scare him.
Hell tell on us. Eunhyuk said and pretended like that was the only thing that was stopping him.
No, he wont. Sungmin said.
Stop being such a wimp. Shindong added.
Eunhyuk turned his head and looked behind them, hoping with the bottom of his heart that
anybody preferably the teacher would see them. But he didnt get surprised at all when no
one came to his rescue no wonder, it was almost 2a.m.
They sneaked up on the lonely boy Donghae still not noticing anything. Sungmin had to cover
his mouth with his hands to not laugh and Shindong grabbed a small stone and threw it at
Donghaes direction. As soon as the small thing hit Donghaes back Donghae immediately raised
himself and looked behind him. He didnt see anyone there. I-I-Is someone there? he asked.
Eunhyuk wanted to hug him. He looked so lost and lonely, like a puppy without a home or anyone
to protect it. He remembered their hug in the nurses room, when Eunhyuk was the one who gave
him the protection and comfort he needed at that moment. He felt like an asshole. A total bastard.
Shindong whispered something in Sungmins ear and Sungmin smirked. Eunhyuk got a bad
feeling. Sungmin took a silent deep breath before screaming, using a high pitched voice while
Shindong started to shake the bush they were hiding behind. A scream. And Donghae couldnt

move. His heart felt like it stopped. But this wasnt a dream, Donghae knew that, so he did the
only thing he could he ran.
H-hes running away! Sungmin yelled, terrified. This was not in their plans. What if he gets
lost?! Sungmin didnt have time to finish the last part before Eunhyuk already was on his way
running at the same direction and not caring about Sungmin and Shindong calling for him.
Donghae ran with all his might. The fact that he had no idea where he was and couldnt see
anything didnt stop him. What did stop him were the roots from the trees that he didnt see, and
he tripped. He fell on his hurt hand and screamed and cried in pain, tears running down his eyes
like waterfalls. His body started to shake from the pain.
He heard steps running towards him and had no idea if he should get relived or even more
scared. Even when he saw that it was Eunhyuk he wasnt sure what to feel. It didnt matter
anyway the only thing he could feel right now was pain. It hurts... he cried, when Eunhyuk was
helping him up. Oh, God, it hurts...
I know, its okay. Eunhyuk said, even though he had no idea what was hurting. Then he noticed
Donghaes right hand holding his left wrist in a loose grip, both his hands shaking, and he could
imagine what had happened.
I-It hurts... Donghae repeated again. It hurts...
For every time he said that he cried even more and his knees started to shake, so Eunhyuk had
to hold him up.
Its okay. Eunhyuk couldnt think of another thing to say. Well go back to the tent, okay?
Donghae didnt reply that, but kept repeating himself; crying over and over again in a broken
voice that it hurt, and Eunhyuk wasnt sure if Donghae could hear what he was saying.
Eunhyuk called Sungmin, one hand holding his phone and the other holding Donghae by his
waist to help him walk, since he had hurt his ankle when falling and was limping. Sungmin helped
him find the way back to where the tents were. Both of them were freezing since they were
dressed only in their pajamas.
Does it still hurt? Eunhyuk asked after some seconds of silence. They were sitting beside each
other in the tent, Eunhyuk looking at Donghae and Donghae having his eyes closed hard. He
nodded, his hand still holding his wrist and rocking his body back and forth, as if that would
alleviate the pain, crying silently.
Minutes passed and it was almost 3a.m when Donghae sobbed for the last time and laid down,
inside his sleeping bag. His face was wet, his nose running and his eyes swollen. He didnt know
who to thank a thousand times that it was too dark for Eunhyuk to see him.
Eunhyuk had been saying random things all the time, every now and then, like commenting the
weather and other unnecessary things. He was drinking yet another strawberry milk. Donghae
could imagine that was his drug and that he drank that every time he was happy, upset,
depressed and nervous. Better then cigarettes and alcohol I guess, Donghae thought. Eunhyuk
wasnt really saying anything important or anything that made any sense, but Donghae had an
idea of why he was acting like that.
Are you starting to like me? he interrupted and turned to face Eunhyuk.

What?
You have a bad conscience, dont you?
To Donghaes surprise the question didnt upset Eunhyuk but instead, he just answered honestly.
It was a stupid prank.
Everything youve ever done to me since I arrived here has been stupid pranks. But now
suddenly you care. That's why I'm asking, are you starting to like me?
Eunhyuk frowned, even though Donghae couldnt see it which he thought was bad, since he
would have liked if Donghae saw it. Dont get too confident, stupid. He laid down too, as far
away as possible from Donghae just like before, his back facing Donghaes back.
Minutes of silence passed when Eunhyuk suddenly said something that made Donghae widened
his eyes in surprise and almost make his heart skip a beat. Im sorry he said in a low voice,
almost in a whisper. about earlier.
Donghae smiled, happy with the knowledge that Eunhyuk couldnt see it. Its okay.
SM Boarding School
Chapter eight
Day two
If Eunhyuk would sleep forever then Donghae was sure he would fall in love with him. When
sleeping he was that angel Donghae though about the first time he saw him. He had never seen
Eunhyuk looking like that; eyes peacefully closed, his messy brown hair resting over his forehead
and his mouth slightly open. He looked years younger. The badass Eunhyuk was nowhere to be
found. He was a baby now.
A song Donghae couldnt recognize started playing. It was Eunhyuks phone, the alarm telling
them that it was time to wake up. Donghae chuckled in his mind, finding it ironic that he had been
up hours before the alarm would start. After yesterdays incident Donghae couldnt fall asleep
again. He had literally been lying in his sleeping bag, watching Eunhyuk till the sunrise.
Eunhyuk frowned, his eyes still being closed, annoyed by the sound that interrupted his sleep;
like a little child does when his mother tells him its time for school. He moved a little, but still had
his eyes closed, and Donghae had to bite his bottom lip to not smile at the unfamiliar cuteness.
He looked somewhere else when he noticed that Eunhyuk started to open his eyes.
The sun was shining bright and the students comforted themselves with the knowledge that it
would be a nice weather today too. The teacher gathered them together, 8a.m, to eat breakfast.
Donghae didnt notice the glances he received from Eunhyuk, Siwon and even Sungmin and
Shindong. And he didnt notice the glare Siwon gave the three friends when realizing that
something must have happened. Honestly, he was too tired to notice. And if he did, then he was
too tired to care.
After breakfast they got 20 minutes to get ready before they would start their first task. Eunhyuk
and Donghae didnt say a word to each other during those minutes. Eunhyuk got ready in ten
minutes while Donghae had troubles getting dressed since his wrist still hurt. They still didnt say
anything and Eunhyuk left to hang out with his friends. When Donghae was finished he didnt see
Eunhyuk anywhere and calculated that he would be doing everything by himself again. He liked
it better that way though, so he didnt complain at all.
Almost all students had already left to explore the forest even Siwon and Donghae was
probably the last student to leave. He carried all books and notes he needed before starting his

incredibly interesting mission.

All trees looked the same. Seriously. Donghae didnt understand anything. This tree has leafs of
this size which are bigger than this trees leafs. To Donghae all trees in this forest looked the
same. And they had way too complicated names. He watched the photo in one of the books his
teacher had given them and then looked the tree in front of him. He didnt get it.
He looked at the picture again. Then at the tree. He sighed. This was impossible. He decided that
it wasnt even worth trying and put his book down to keep walking. He was holding way too many
books with only one hand and it didnt surprise him that he eventually dropped half of them. He
crouched down to pick them up but didnt even have time to touch them before he suddenly saw
a foot pressing his two books down. He looked up and saw a smirking Eunhyuk, smiling devilishly
at him. He screw his foot, only to emphasize what he was doing, before walking away with some
laughing classmates after him. Donghae didnt even mind to glare. Instead, he picked up his
books and tried to brush some of the dirt off. He didnt even mind to sigh.
When Donghae decided to completely give up he saw his supposed team mate walk towards
him. He was alone and Donghae even dared to think that he was on his way to help Donghae.
And luckily he was, since he stopped beside Donghae, when Donghae pretended to be deeply
concentrated in his tree studying.
Thanks for your help. Donghae said, still looking at the tree; pretending that he was deeply
concentrated in his work. I mean, I wouldnt be able to do this if it wasnt for you.
Youre welcome.
Donghae turned to glare at him. He didnt want to provoke the other, but he couldnt help it. He
was kind of getting tired of all this. How can a person be so complicated? Do you even realize
how fake you are? he asked, looking Eunhyuk direct in the eyes.
Eunhyuk stared at him, at first not exactly understanding what the younger was saying to him. He
was surprised, too surprised to get angry. Too surprised to even reply. His eyebrows slowly rose.
Donghae gave him one last glare.
Never mind. he said in a low voice, both to himself and to Eunhyuk. He pressed three books
against Eunhyuks chest, hard, and Eunhyuk grabbed the books in reflex. My wrist hurts. was all
the explanation he got before Donghae walked away.
Donghae wasnt sad. He was pissed off. He was blessed with something called patience, but he
was human too and his patience wasnt totally persistent. He was walking with fast and angry
steps, still glaring at whatever his eyes met. Then he saw their class sitting in a circle on the
ground, with their teacher standing in the middle talking to them and he had to try to put his
angry mood aside before approaching.
Ah, Donghae shi! the man said and beckoned him to come closer. Wheres Hyukjae shi?
Donghae shrugged his shoulders and something told the teacher that he shouldn't ask more
about it. Their teacher started talking about how wonderful nature was. Most of the students were
just yawning while others kept whispering to each other not even minding to pretend that they
were listening. After almost half an hour he let the students continue with their work. During their
teacher's speak Eunhyuk silently walked over to Sungmin and sat down beside him.
Siwon asked Donghae how everything was going and Donghae was about to answer that
everything went fine, especially when Eunhyuk wasnt there, when a voice made Donghae go
quiet.

Donghae yah.
Donghae froze. The voice calling him was familiar, however; the voice calling his name was
unfamiliar. Eunhyuk, Lee Hyukjae, the bastard, the angelic asshole, had called him by his name
for the first time. Not you, not idiot, not stupid, but Donghae. Donghaes heart skipped a
beat and his cheeks grew a bit red. How absurd. He cleared his throat before answering. What?
Eunhyuk, not taking notice of anything, pointed at a tree in the book before pointing at the tree in
front of him. Donghae walked over, also looking inside the book.
Its not the same. he said.
Yes, it is.
No.
Eunhyuk didnt seem to care that Donghae was arguing with him. He just looked surprised that
Donghae wasnt agreeing. He carefully looked at the real tree and the picture. Yes, it is. he said
again.
Im telling you, its not the same.
Donghae noticed too late that his tongue and mind had been taking a break and he had spoken
with his dialect. Perfect. Especially when the whole class was nearby. Sungmin burst out
laughing, together with the other students and Donghae glared at babyface boy. He did like he
always did, ignoring the laughs and comments, comments like how can you talk like that? and
how embarrassing!.
He looked at Eunhyuk who was biting his bottom lip; trying to hide a smile. Not a smirk, but just a
gentle and cute smile. He wasnt making fun of him and Donghae couldnt stop thinking that
Eunhyuks smile was... very weird. Very weird but yet very charming. He took the book from
Eunhyuks hands and pretended that nothing happened, even though he was smiling in his heart
and soul.
The sun was already making its way down and Donghae could call this a successful day. He was
happy. He was sitting on the grass together with Siwon, eating noodles and enjoying the beautiful
nature. They didnt even talk to each other, but just watched the sunset; exchanging satisfied
sighs every now and then. When their eyes met they just smiled to each other, still not saying
anything.
When time was getting near bedtime both Eunhyuk and Donghae were reading books, since
there really wasnt much more to do. They were, as always, sitting as far away as possible from
each other. Neither of them liked the book they were reading but as said, there wasnt anything
else to do. Suddenly Sungmin was standing outside their tent, calling for Eunhyuk, in a low voice,
to not being heard by the teacher. The teacher had given them the same rules here as in school:
do not be outside after 10p.m. And both Donghae and Eunhyuk knew that it was far past 10p.m.
Eunhyuk put his book down and was about to open the tent when Donghae felt a stab in his
stomach. Alone in a tiny tent in a dark forest. He acted on pure impulse and grabbed Eunhyuks
wrist. Dont leave. he said, his body and mouth acting faster than his brain. He had no idea why
he did or said that.
Uh, what? Eunhyuk asked, being just as surprised as Donghae was.

I mean... Youll get in trouble. Silence. Yeah, youre right. Donghae sighed. I dont care if you
get in trouble. In fact, Ill be pretty happy if you do get in trouble.
Eunhyuk didnt have to be a genius to understand what Donghae wanted. He cursed himself for
being such a softie and even having a second thought. He should just leave. He didnt care about
Donghae. Honestly. If youre scared then just call your friend. He tried to fight against that thing
called conscience and leave, but Donghae was still holding him.
No, dont! he said and when Eunhyuk turned to face him again he had to fight against a blush. I
cant wake him up. He was really tired. Just dont leave. It doesnt matter that its you, I just dont
want to be alone.
One thousand mean comments came to mind and Eunhyuk tried to force out at least one of them.
But instead he kept thinking about Donghae the previous night, when waking up in panic because
of a nightmare. Do you often have nightmares? he asked. Donghae let go of Eunhyuks wrist,
trusting that he wasnt going to leave, and shrugged his shoulders. He didnt want to answer
honestly to that, but Eunhyuk clearly saw what the real answer was. Because of what happened
to you?
Donghae shrugged his shoulders again. Just stay. he said, before lying down. Eunhyuk sighed
soundlessly before nodding. He opened his handbag and took out his pink milk and cell phone.
For the first times in days Donghae didnt wake up because of a nightmare. Instead he woke up
because of a sound. Someone was walking outside his tent. He flew up in a sitting position,
feeling the adrenaline rushing though his veins. Then he tried to calm himself down when think
that there was like ten other tents there too, belonging to his classmates, and even one tent
belonging to their teacher. He shouldnt get scared. But just in case, he turned to wake Eunhyuk
up, only to discover that Eunhyuk wasnt there. He heard a giggle and someone telling Shindong
to shut up. He reached forward to unzip the tent but the person on the other side was faster.
Hyukjae, having red eyes, looked at him in surprise, as if asking what Donghae was doing there.
Hello there. he said, both in surprise and amusement.
Donghae didnt answer but kept looking at him in a mix between surprise and confusion. They
hadnt been out doing something bad, had they? Eunhyuk straggling, his lazy smile and the
strong smell of alcohol spoke for themselves.
The older one, standing on one leg, was about to take his shoes off before entering the tent when
he lost his balance and just fell his body landing over Donghaes and supporting his hands on
each side of Donghaes head. Donghae just stared at him, eyes opened wide, and he held his
breath both because of the shock and because of the smell. Having Eunhyuk that close, his face
inches away from his own and their bodies pressed together made Donghaes mind blank. And
Eunhyuk not moving wasnt helping. Instead the older smirked.
Actually... he said in a sloppy voice, his eyes blinking slowly. You're not that bad.
It was kind of hard trying to understand what the drunk male was saying and Donghae was
positive he had misheard him. He must have. Wh-what? was the only thing that came to mind
and Donghae felt like an idiot since he didnt push him away.
Eunhyuks face slowly approached Donghaes and Donghae widened his eyes even more if that
even was possible. What was going on? Youre so pretty. Eunhyuk said in a whisper, but
Donghae heard him clearly. So cute... Are you really a guy?
Donghae was about to ask him again what the heck was going on but his tongue suddenly

seemed to be numb, and he couldnt form any words at all. Instead, his heart started to beat
faster. Without being prepared their lips touched and Donghae could swear his heart just stopped
beating. He was paralyzed; not knowing what he should do. He wasnt thinking when he slowly
closed his eyes and parted his lips and seconds later felt and unfamiliar tongue starting to explore
his mouth.
A cold hand sneaked down and inside Donghaes shirt, making Donghae gasp and his body
wince. But he didnt come back to earth until the hand started to inch its way up on his upper
body. What the...? He opened his eyes and sat up; pushing Eunhyuk away and stretching out his
arm to keep their distance in arms length. Wh-what are you doing? he asked. He should have
asked himself the same thing.
Eunhyuk looked at him with tired eyes. He shrugged his shoulders before giving the younger a
lazy smile, one of those smiles that always reminded Donghae of how good looking his enemy
was. Then he just lied down over his sleeping bag, as if nothing particular or unusual had
happened, his back facing Donghae. Donghae stared at him. What did just happen?
SM Boarding School
Chapter nine
Day three
Donghae was already sitting up, looking at his team mate, when the alarm rang. He wasnt
looking at him with the same eyes as the previous night this time it was more like a soft glare.
Eunhyuk had unconsciously moved closer and closer to Donghae, his hand touching Donghaes
legs, and when he opened his eyes and realized how close he was to the younger he
immediately flew back, being totally awake. Good morning. Donghae said but got no respond.
Instead Eunhyuk rubbed his eyes and got out of the tent. Donghae stayed in his sitting position,
waiting for him. He needed to make things clear.
When Eunhyuk got back he had already washed his face and teeth. He went back to the tent only
to get his black cap, to cover his messy hair. Its not time for breakfast yet. Donghae said.
Eunhyuk kept ignoring him till he was about to leave but Donghae grabbed his forearm. He glared
at the younger his eyes forbidding Donghae to say what he had in mind. Do you remember
anything of what happened ye
No. Eunhyuk said sharply, suspiciously fast. He was way too obvious.
How much did you drink yesterday?
Way too much. Eunhyuk responded and tried to pull his arm out of Donghaes grip. But
Donghae didnt let go.
I dont believe you.
Eunhyuk kept glaring at the younger.
Youre not even having a hangover.
Yes, I am. Eunhyuk said, doing one last effort and managed to free himself from the youngers
grip. But Donghae was fast enough to grab his other arm and Eunhyuk moaned in frustration.
Whats wrong with you?!
Whats wrong with you? Honestly, Eunhyuk asked himself the same thing. Eunhyuk wasnt
sounding even half as relaxed as Donghae was which bothered the hell out of him. Why did you
kiss me? Donghae continued. The forbidden question had been asked.

I didnt kiss you.

Then what do you call it?
I tripped he tried once again to free his arm but failed and I fell yet another try but
Donghae tightened his grip and you were in the way Eunhyuk would get bruises, for sure,
but none of them cared; Eunhyuk just wanted to escape and Donghae refused to let go and I
wasnt thinking.
Donghae widened his eyes. Was that a confession? He should be grinning, enjoying his victory,
but he was too surprised. So you admit that you kissed me?
Let go of me, idiot! was Eunhyuks reply.
What are you guys doing? a voice coming from outside asked and the tent opened. Their
teacher was crouched down in front of the tent, while Eunhyuk and Donghae froze in their
positions. The man slowly raised one eyebrow and so did the students standing behind him.
Donghae pouted before letting go of Eunhyuks arm, while Eunhyuk thanked his teacher in his
mind for saving him.
Eunhyuk avoided Donghae as much as possible. And he was thinking out plans of how to keep
avoiding him when it was time to start their teamwork. But the clock was ticking way too fast and
when it was time Eunhyuk still hadnt figured out a plan. Instead, he sighed soundlessly and tried
to mentally prepare himself. Maybe he could try being exceptionally mean and that way Donghae
would avoid him instead of him avoiding Donghae.
Hyukjae shi! he heard Donghae call and that woke him up from his thoughts. He realized
Donghae just said something forbidden; he had called him by his real name. He turned his head
and looked around; the students were staring at Donghae with eyes wide opened and their
eyebrows high up on their foreheads. Even the teacher looked at Donghae in surprise.
The dancer raised himself from the stump he was sitting on and walked fast over to the boy
calling him. Dont call me that. he said in a low voice, still feeling everyones eyes on them.
Donghae frowned at that, not understanding what he had done wrong, till he remembered that
you had to be V.I.P to call Eunhyuk by his real name. Absurd. Like most things were in this class.
But thats your name, isnt it? Donghae insisted, a little too much confident in his voice for
Eunhyuks liking. Eunhyuk frowned and hit the younger on his head. Not hard so it would hurt but
just to warn him. Yes, yes. Donghae sighed. Whatever makes you happy.
Hours passed and the evening came. Even though the kiss was the only think Donghae could
think of he didnt mention it again. He didnt think it was worth it; bringing it up again and having to
deal with a mean and angry Eunhyuk the rest of the day. So instead they walked in silence in the
forest, Eunhyuk leading the way even though he was just as bad as Donghae was with maps.
After some minutes, they both didnt seem to care about the task and just walked, enjoying the
beautiful nature. They were both in their own little world and didnt notice the sky suddenly turning
gray, thick clouds covering everything. Donghae grabbed a tree branch as support when walking
over some rocks and some roots, when he suddenly felt a water drop on his hand.
He looked at his hands in surprise and then looked up, not noticing the change in the sky till now.
Its raining. he said. Eunhyuk turned to look at him and when he did he felt something wet fall
down on his forehead.
Only minutes later the rain just poured down and they both had to run back to their tent, with wet

clothes and hair.

They both were running, Eunhyuk still leading the way, getting wetter and wetter with each step.
They were both wearing just T-shirts and jeans and Donghae couldnt help but feel bad when
seeing Eunhyuks clothes getting wet, since his clothes were probably third times as expensive as
his own.
Eunhyuk finally recognized the way and soon they were standing outside their tent. Other
students were also already there, complaining out loud, while other students were running with all
their might towards their own tent. Their teacher was just laughing at the timing; the rain waiting
to come after they would finish today's task.
Before entering they rolled up their sleeping bags and put them aside since they didnt want them
to get wet. They were still freezing when being inside. Donghae was about to say something
when he saw Eunhyuk getting up on his knees and taking his wet T-shirt off. The younger
immediately looked at another direction, his face getting hot and red. But he couldnt help his
eyes glancing over at the dancer; his wet hair pasted to his neck and face, his arms, chest,
shoulders, back... Donghae swallowed loudly and turned to look somewhere else again. He didnt
dare to look back at the other till he was 100% sure Eunhyuk had put another shirt on.
Donghae still had his wet shirt on when he remembered that Siwon had packed a small, thin
blanket in Donghaes bag. He smiled and thanked Siwon in his mind before searching for it in his
bag and pulling it out. He was too shy to change his shirt and just wrapped himself in the blanket.
So cold... he mumbled to himself, a shiver running down his spine from just mentioning it. He
rubbed his hands under the blanket, being very greatful since they didn't have to go out again
today.
The rain was loud, thousands of drops crashing on top of the tent; holding a pace that was almost
musical. Rain wasnt that bad actually. Rain could be nice and cosy, when being together with a
precious person. Donghae thought about his family, his hyung, mother and father. He thought
about his friends, the ones he left in Mokpo, Kibum, Siwon and even Ryeowook. Then he glanced
over at the person who wasnt his hyung nor Kibum, Siwon or Ryeowook. It was Lee Hyukjae who
was sharing this nice and cosy moment with him. He sighed silently.
Eunhyuk seemed to be in his own little world, his knees up to his chest and his arms embracing
them. He was obviously still freezing. Are you freezing? Donghae asked.
Eunhyuk shook his head, not looking at him. A weird and awkward thought crossed Donghaes
mind. But he would rather be weird and awkward than mean and selfish. I know youre allergic to
me he started and Eunhyuk chuckled soundlessly but this blanket is big enough for both of us.
What Donghae meant didnt shock Eunhyuk and he just shook his head again. Donghae dared to
move a little closer and Eunhyuk glanced at him, without turning his head. Do you want to talk?
Donghae carefully asked, as if talking to a scared child.
Eunhyuk new exactly what kind of talk Donghae had in mind. I want you to leave me alone. he
answered.
Its raining outside and half this tent is supposed to be mine.
Eunhyuk turned to glare at him, prohibiting Donghae to go any closer. Then stay in our half and
dont talk to me.
Eunhyuk knew Donghae wouldnt care at all. And Donghae knew Eunhyuk knew that he wouldnt
care at all. So Donghae kept talking. I just dont get what you want. One day youre a total jerk

and the next day youre suddenly on my side. How about being honest for once? No respond.
Donghae wasnt even expecting one. What do you want?
The cold didnt succeed in giving Eunhyuk goose bumps, but Donghaes voice did. His voice was
so soft, speaking to him so gently even though they both knew how Eunhyuk had been treating
him every since the first day. Right now I want you to shut up and leave me alone.
Donghae could clearly hear that Eunhyuk was getting more and more nervous, for every second
that passed. For a split second they changed roles; Donghae being in control and Eunhyuk being
the underdog. But Donghae didnt take advantage of it, like Eunhyuk always did. Why do you
treat me so bad?
The victim asking his bully why. How ironic. Eunhyuk wondered if it was raining more now. The
sound suddenly seemed to be so much louder. Or he was just being very attentive now, too
attentive for his own liking. He tried to think about the drops, anything that would distract him from
Donghae.
Are you scared? Donghae suddenly asked.
Eunhyuk forced out a chuckle and a smirk. Of you? he asked, arrogantly.
Of the hyungs.
Eunhyuk tensed his body and his smirk immediately disappeared. He turned to look at Donghae,
his eyes only expressing anger and hate. Dont get too confident with me, you beggar he
warned. "or I swear you'll regret it.
Donghae went silent since he was clever enough to figure out that if he kept to his subject
Eunhyuk would only end up really pissed off. And maybe Donghae really would regret what could
happen. He moved away from Eunhyuk a little.
Since Donghae stopped talking they sat in silence. After some minutes Eunhyuk suddenly
pointed, still being too angry to talk, at something beside Donghae. Donghae turned to look what
Eunhyuk wanted. The dancer was pointing at their pile of clothes and bags.
What? he asked.
My bag. he answered shortly. Donghae grabbed one of the bags that wasnt his own. The other
one, idiot.
Donghae randomly grabbed another bag but Eunhyuk's glare told him that this also was the
wrong bag. Then grab it yourself." Donghae said, as nice as possible. He didn't want to make
Eunhyuk angrier than he already was.
Eunhyuk sighed, loudly and angrily, before leaning forward. At the exact moment he did that
Donghae moved to adjust and sit a little more comfortable and they ended up with their faces
inches away from each other. They both froze, staring at each other with eyes wide opened.
Eunhyuk didn't seem to be angry anymore.
They stayed like that, like statues, just looking at each other and Eunhyuks eyes kept falling to
look at Donghaes lips. He tried with all his might to look at Donghaes eyes instead, but that was
too embarrassing and in the end he had no idea where to look. Pulling away never came to his
mind. I'm too close Eunhyuk said in a low voice, almost a whisper. He didn't say that to
Donghae, but just said out loud what he was thinking. Isnt this awkward? That was said to
Donghae and not to himself. He was still speaking in a low voice.

Donghae nodded slowly before they both suddenly closed that tiny, tiny space between their lips.
Soft lips against soft lips. The kiss was slow, an exploration. Both their bodies were paralyzed and
neither of them dared to touch the other, even though they both wanted it. Donghae dared to
make the first move; his hand slowly, slowly rising and his fingertips touching Eunhyuks cheek.
Feeling Donghae touching his face Eunhyuk got the confident to use his tongue, his tongue
sneaking into Donghaes mouth and he could feel Donghae gasp and the sudden action. They
had finished their exploration and the kiss got a little more forceful, as they dared to move a little
closer; eyes closing, arms embracing, tongues dancing together and hearts racing.
Eunhyuk removed Donghae's blanket with one hand before pressing Donghae down, making
Donghae fall down on his back with Eunhyuk over him, supporting himself on both his hands that
were placed on either side of Donghae's head, without breaking the kiss. Donghae's arms
embraced Eunhyuk, his hands meeting on Eunhyuk's back.
Hyukie yah!
They both froze when hearing Sungmin whisper outside their tent. Eunhyuk broke the kiss. He
widened his eyes and held his breath when exactly realizing what had happened, but they still
stayed in their positions.
Hyukie, are you there?"
It had stopped raining, without them noticing it. They still kept looking at each other without
moving, till Eunhyuk slowly removed Donghae's hands from him and pulled away, without saying
anything. Donghae didn't dare to say anything either and raised himself a little, supporting his
body on his elbows. Eunhyuk put his shoes on without even looking at Donghae, grabbed the
nearest sweater and left.
He didnt return that night, but stayed in one of his friends tent, and Donghae didnt know if he
should feel relived or sad about it. But in the end he just felt sad and not relived at all. Sad and
confused.
SM Boarding School
Chapter ten
Eyes wide opened, hands shaking, heart beating faster than ever. Donghae was sweating and he
was breathing heavily and loudly. Time was passing by torturously slow. He wanted to have
someone there, anyone; his hyung, Kibum, Siwon, Ryeowook anyone. But he couldnt call
anyone at this hour and he couldnt wake Siwon up with the excuse that he was being scared. But
it didnt matter anyway since he was too scared to even move. He imagined someone standing
there, outside his tent, waiting for him and he could swear he heard steps walking around his tent.
He was cowering, his knees up to his chest; making himself as small as possible. He closed his
eyes hard and used his hands to cover his ears.
~*~
Donghae woke up when sunshine entered the tent as someone unzipped it. He slowly opened his
eyes, feeling the heavy weight in his chest leave as he realized it was daylight. Eunhyuk was the
guilty one for letting the sunshine in, and he was now packing his clothes. He glanced over at
Donghae for a split second but then completely ignored him and hurried up to pack his things and
leave.
After giving the teacher their assignments all students entered the big familiar bus, everyone

almost cheering since they were on their way home.As soon as Donghae sat down on the seat,
again taking the seat closest to the window, he almost immediately fell asleep. He felt safe with
the sun shining bright and Eunhyuk sitting close beside him. He wanted to sleep away all his
present problems.
When arriving the teacher told the students that he had talked to the principal and he had given
them the day off, since they had spent their weekend on this trip. As soon as they got off the bus
Donghae asked Siwon if he could get his bags too, since he needed to go to the nurse. After
falling that day in the forest he had been a little worried of his wrist, since it was still hurting, so he
had decided to go and talk to the nurse. Siwon told him that of course he would take Donghaes
things, without asking why Donghae wanted to go to and see the nurse.
The nurse assure Donghae that his wrist was still like it was before and if he didnt overstrain it it
would heal in no time and he would not have to use the bandage anymore. Donghae nodded,
thanked and left. At least he hadnt got yet another problem to think of now that he knew that his
wrist was in a good way of healing.
After that he walked straight to the boys dorm, for the first time ever longing for his room. You
survived. was the first thing Siwon said when Donghae entered their shared room. He was
probably not referring to the visit at the nurses room, but at the whole trip.
Barely. Donghae replied, taking his jacket and shoes off before walking over to carelessly fall
down on Siwons brown arm chair. He was quiet, too quiet to be the usual Donghae.
Nothing happened right?
Donghae shook his head. She said it was okay. Itll probably heal pretty
I mean with Eunhyuk.
Donghae almost chuckled out loud. Nothing? For a second he thought that Siwon knew
everything. But then he realized that it was impossible. Of course Siwon, when saying that, wasnt
referring to something like that. Donghae thought if he should tell Siwon what had happened. He
knew he could trust Siwon and maybe he could give him some advices. But would he even
believe him? Well, why would Donghae lie about something like that?
Donghae looked at Siwon, as if trying to see if telling Siwon really was such a great idea. Siwon
raised his eyebrows when seeing Donghae look at him and having such a thoughtful expression
on his face.
What is it?
Donghae changed his mind; sharing his problems with Siwon would only be selfish. Siwon had
successfully managed to avoid Eunhyuk and his friends all his years here, but now thanks to
Donghae he was suffering from it too. He didnt want to bother Siwon with yet another thing.
Nothing. he said, feeling bad when thinking what problems he had caused Siwon. And Siwon
had only been helping him ever since he first got here. Im sorry for all this. This thing with
Eunhyuk and Sungmin. It really hasnt anything to do with you.
Siwon walked over to where Donghae was sitting. He placed his hands on each side of the chair;
his hands on the armrest, and looked Donghae directly in the eyes with a dead serious look.
Dont apologize for something you havent done. If something is bothering you then tell me. You
know you can talk to me.
Donghae smiled, a warmness being spread in his whole body. His friends here were amazing, no

doubt about that. He shook his head. I just didnt sleep that well. Thats all. Honestly.
Siwon believed him and nodded and gave his friend a cheerful and supporting smile.
~*~
Clean and bright walls and even floor, big windows, students in the same clothes passing by he
was back. He was back in this beautiful school filled with students whose wallet was bigger than
their brains. How wonderful it would be if only Donghae too had a little bigger wallet.
What?
Donghae quickly shook that though out of his mind. What the heck was he thinking?! Did he want
to be like them? Laughing and making fun of the lower class? Laughing and making fun of people
like his mother and hyung? Donghae felt dirty, how could he have such a ridiculous thought?
When waking up from this forbidden thoughts, Donghae tensed his body and held his breath
when seeing Eunhyuk, Heechul and some other guys walk towards him in the long corridor. He
turned around to see if there was anyone there to come to his rescue, but to his disappointment
he only saw relaxed strangers walking with slow steps and talking to each other. They didnt care
about Heechuls gang walking at their direction.
When Donghae turned his head again he realized that the boys already had seen him; their
smirks told him so. He quickly stopped and turned around; hugging his books a little tighter and
walking with faster steps. He could hear them chuckle and snort, and by that he tried to figure out
if they were close behind him or far behind him. Either way, he didnt care; he just wanted to leave
as quickly as possible. When turning his head he realized that they too were walking faster.
They werent actually going to hurt him, right? Not here, in daylight, inside the school, right? They
just wanted to scare him. But these thoughts didnt calm Donghae down at all. He kept sweating
and breathing heavily, his heart racing in fear, as terrible memories crossed his mind; hands and
feet punching and kicking him and blood running from his nose and mouth. His heart almost
stopped when seeing that his only escape route, the other side of the corridor, was being blocked
by some other students that were standing there with their arms crossed. They did not look
friendly at all.
Donghae stopped dead short while all he could feel was pain in his chest. What now? He just
stands there like a helpless idiot and waits for what will come? The superior students walked
slowly towards him on both sides, torturing him mentally, while Donghae couldnt do other but to
act composed. He decided to just walk pass them as fast as possible. They would probably push
him, like they always did, but nothing more than that.
But fear was holding him back and preventing him from moving at all. Why was he so scared?
They were human beings just like he was. It was not like they would kill him or anything. He took
a silent deep breath before finally deciding that yes, he would just walk. But to his fear he realized
that they were standing too close now, surrounding him in a small semicircle. They had stopped
walking and Donghae wanted to slap himself for losing the little amount of confidence that he had
left.
The famous Heechul was the only one staring to move closer to Donghae, entering the
dangerous area, and Donghae found himself taking a small step back for each step that Heechul
took forward, till he felt his back hit something. It was not a wall but something else, but he was
not in state for turning and see what it was. Instead, his eyes started to search for Eunhyuk in the
crowd. And he found him, but Eunhyuk was quick in looking at another direction. He didnt seem
to be enjoying it like the other students who were laughing out loud and cheering on Heechul
like everyone else did.

But Donghae was prepared. He didnt need Eunhyuk. They wouldnt hurt him. Not hurt him. And
he was not scared. Bring it on!
Heechul smirked, looking down at the anxious boy. Boo! he suddenly said, in a loud voice and
making a quick movement with his whole body. And Donghae, being prepared for the worst, took
the final step back in panic that caused the thing behind him a bookshelf to shake. The books
neatly standing in line fell, most of them crashing on Donghaes head. Donghae cowered and
dropped his books to use his hand as protection to protect his head from the falling books. When
daring to look up again he saw the boys laughing in victory, proudly yelling out how scared
Donghae had been and how funny Heechul was.
Eunhyuk was the only one that turned his head to glance over at him. And he was the only one
not laughing. He was forcing out a smile, but failed with even that. When his eyes met with
Donghae's he hurried to turn his head again.
Donghae didnt dare to exhale until now, when the laughs were no longer heard. People had seen
what had happened and no one had interfered. They saw Donghae sitting on the floor, books all
around him, but no one cared.
Oh my, what happened? an unknown voice said. The question would fit perfectly to Donghae
right now, but he had a hard time believing that the concern was meant to him. But, to his
surprise, a male crouched down in front of him. So someone else besides Siwon, Kibum and
Ryeowook actually did care. Are you okay?
Donghae nodded fast, not daring to say a word afraid that it might cause the guys to return.
Here, let me help you up. the male said and stood up before extending his hand to Donghae.
With a shaking hand Donghae just placed his hand in the others without really grabbing it, so the
other had to grab Donghaes wrist instead to help him up. The strangers hand was warm and that
calmed Donghae down a bit.
You didnt get hurt, did you? he asked. Donghae shook his head, looking around to see if
Heechul and his friends were in sight. They had already left, all of them.
I-Im sorry for
Ill pick this up, dont worry about it. the other interrupted with a friendly smile. Just be more
careful. You dont want to get yourself hurt.
No, Donghae did absolutely not want to get himself hurt. He grabbed the books he thought was
his before bowing to his unknown hero. Thank you. he said fast in one breath before walking
away.
He had no idea who the helpful student was, but to be honest even though he was more than
thankful he didnt care. At this moment all he needed was to calm himself down and drink some
water. After that he would thank the male properly.
**
Donghae was almost running, hugging his books as tight as before, towards the boys dorms. On
the way there he saw a figure walking slowly, with his hands in his pockets, and when Donghae
was close enough he saw that it was Kibum. And when Kibum saw that the figure almost running
towards his direction was Donghae he knew something bad had happened.

Hyung, what was as far as he got before Donghae grabbed his left arm, without saying a word,
and pulled him with him forcing Kibum to walk as fast as Donghae was. Kibum asking him what
had happened and what was wrong didnt stop Donghae, or made him answer.
When being in the safe area Donghae pointed at the door, the finger telling Kibum to lock the
door (which Kibum amazingly understood), before leaving his books on the table and falling flat
on his bed on his stomach; burying his face in his pillow. Kibum was still standing in front of the
outer door and only watched his hyung; not sure if asking what had happened again was the best
thing he could do. He kind of already had an idea of what had happened. If not, he had an idea of
who the guys involved were. Donghae said something but it was being muffled because of the
pillow.
What? Kibum asked in a gentle voice, talking silent steps to approach the collapsed boy.
Donghae raised his head before repeating what he had said. Maybe this wasnt such a great
idea.
What do you mean?
Coming here and all... Im not like the people here.
Kibum chuckled a little, walking over to sit on the chair at small table. What, a spoiled brat?
Dumb? No, youre right you arent.
Donghae should get happy, but right now he was immune against compliments. You know thats
not what I mean. He sighed. They will keep bothering me. And I wont be able to endure it for
two years. God, I got so scared. I thought
Did they hurt you?
Donghae shook his head.
Moments in silent passed; Kibum waiting for Donghae to say what had happened and Donghae
not sure if he wanted to talk about this at all. He would rather forget it, ignore it and simply
pretend this never happened. Not for two years. he repeated. I cant. Not for two years.
Kibum raised himself from the chair and walked over to Donghaes bed. He sat down on the floor,
his chin resting over Donghaes bed while Donghae turned his face to look at him. Youre not
alone, hyung. he said in a low voice, because he thought it was embarrassing saying what he
was about to say. Saying things like that wasnt Kibums specialty and Donghae knew that very
well. He smiled a little, waiting for Kibum to continue. I know its hard and all, but theyll get tired
of you. All new guys went through this too, its not only you. Theyll leave you alone when they
find someone else to bother. They always do that.
A million arguments that told Kibum he was wrong came to Donghaes mind. He was not just the
new guy he was poor. He was poor and in a school with snobs. That was the difference
between them. All the other new guys they bothered were snobs too. But Donghae didnt tell him
that. He couldnt argue back or complain. He knew the effort Kibum had to make to let those
words leave his mouth.
And meanwhile, when the hyungs are still bothering you, you have me. I-I mean us. You have us.
Your friends. The younger even twitched the corner of his mouth, a shy smile being formed.
Donghae got an impulsive feeling of wanting to hug him to death.
He sighed loudly and heavily, as dramatically as possible. I hate you. he said. If it werent for

you I would leave this school.

Siwon hyung is pretty guilty too.
Yes, I hate Siwon too.
And Ryeowook.
Yes, him too.
Kibum chuckled, getting a satisfied feeling in his heart when seeing his hyung smile again. A
funny thought crossed Donghae mind when he started to think about yet a third person that made
him want to stay in this damned school. But he didnt say anything to Kibum.
The two boys spent the rest of the time talking to each other. Kibum was, as said, a quiet person
however Donghae once again spoke for them both. But Kibum loved it, hearing and watching
Donghae talk, telling him stories with such enthusiasm and laughing at himself. One hour passed
and to Kibums disappointment he realized that he needed to go, since school still hadnt ended.
He knew Donghae would skip the classes he had left and Kibum would gladly skip his too. But he
knew Donghae wouldnt let him do that.
When he was about to leave Siwon made his entrance. Kibum bowed politely before telling that
he was just about to leave. He said bye to Donghae one last time, in which Donghae happily
waved, before he walked away and disappeared out of sight. Siwon was still staring at the now
closed door and forgot that he was there to ask Donghae why he didnt come to their class as he
instead he asked: How do you guys know each other?
He reminded himself that he still didnt know how Donghae and Kibum could possibly know each
other before Donghae had entered this school. They were the exact opposite concerning their
social status and Kibum had always lived in Seoul while Donghae had been living in Mokpo. Their
personalities werent that matching either.
Kibum went to Mokpo for a vacation once when we were younger. We meet and became friends
and after that he started traveling to Mokpo regularly.
That was a pretty short story. Thats all?
What do you mean?
Mentioning anything that had to do with money was something that Siwon would rather avoid,
since he didnt know if Donghae was comfortable enough to talk about it with him. So instead he
said: Well, you guys seem to be pretty close.
And we are.
But when you first saw him here you didnt even know that he was here in this school. Didnt he
tell you that? And he didnt seem to know that you were going to start this school either.
We lost contact. For a while.
Siwon didnt have to ask more since his confused look told Donghae that his answers werent
enough to give Siwon a picture of the whole thing. Besides, Siwon didnt know if he even should
ask more since the usually talkative Donghae was now speaking with such few sentences.
Its a pretty long story... and a little complicated. Im not sure if you want to hear it.

The taller one had no idea if Donghae was being honest; thinking that Siwon would get bored if
he told him, or if he just didnt want to talk about it. Either way, Siwon decided to stay satisfied
with what Donghae had told him and not ask any more questions.
At the end of the day Siwon was being a good student and studying while Donghae was just
feeling restless. He was impatiently waiting for the clock to go faster and strike nine. When being
half nine he flew up from his bed and started digging in his wardrobe with his right hand to take
out his sweatpants and a T-shirt.
Are you going to dance? Siwon asked, not looking up from his notebook and history book.
Donghae nodded, which Siwon didnt see, but the fact that Donghae was now changing clothes
and searching for some CDs made the answer pretty obvious. He grabbed the paper the
reception lady had signed, the proof of the permission for him to be in the practice room at this
hour, before telling Siwon bye and leaving.
A quarter to nine Donghae was jogging over to the neighbor building; the dance, singing and
acting building. It was quiet and dark inside but Donghae didnt panic since he knew that he
wasnt alone in this building. Some singers and actors that were bad in it or just needed to catch
up with the rest of the class had gotten permission as well to practice at this hour. Eunhyuk too,
since he was in charge of the school dance and Donghae, of course, who wasnt bad but just
needed to catch up with the rest.
When entering the mirror-covered room Donghae only managed to turn the lights on, take his
outer clothes off and walk over to the CD-player when the door suddenly opened. Seeing
Eunhyuk standing there, with the bag as always, and dressed in similar clothes to Donghae,
made him wonder if he had missed 30 minutes of his life. But when he turned to look at the clock
hanging on the wall he realized that the one being wrong wasnt him but the mean intruder.
Its 9:10. he said stupidly. He regretted it. He shouldve said get the hell out you, idiot or what
the heck are you doing here? like Eunhyuk always said when Donghae ran over time. He though
that it wasnt too late to add a sentence like that, but something told him that he honestly didnt
want Eunhyuk to leave.
Are you going to practice? Eunhyuk asked and raised his eyebrows, surprised over seeing
Donghae there. With that hand?
Yes.
Eunhyuk stared at him for a moment, shrugged his shoulders a little to himself before turning
around and grabbed the door handle. Before he had opened the door Donghae turned the music
on and walked over to stand in the center of the room.
His body started to move to the beat of the music and Eunhyuk, honestly not knowing why, turned
his head to watch him. He was about to ask himself in his mind why he had done that and leave
when he saw Donghae doing a mistake in the choreography without noticing it. But Eunhyuk was
dance-damaged and his instincts told him that he could not let something like that pass. Not even
if it meant he would spend some extra seconds on someone like Donghae, the person he would
like to spend the least time with.
Youre doing it wrong. he said, loud enough for Donghae to hear him.
Donghae lost his concentration and stopped dancing, since he hadnt noticed that Eunhyuk was
still there. What do you mean? he asked, turning around with both his hands on his hips, instead

of demanding the older one to leave him alone.

Youre not using your hips.
I am.
No, stupid, Im telling you that you arent.
Donghae walked over to the CD-player and turned to music off, before turning to look at Eunhyuk
again, which still had his hand grabbing the door handle. Then show me.
Eunhyuk chuckled sarcastically, as if Donghae had said something totally absurd; as if he had
asked him to dance naked in front of the school or something like that. Why should I? Figure it
out yourself.
Then dont correct me. Because now I dont believe you and I think you said that only to ruin my
practice.
Eunhyuk chuckled again, only to show Donghae how little his words were affecting him. He
opened the door.
Too bad the dance master himself cant even show a step as simple as this.
Eunhyuk stopped himself from taking another step. He chuckled soundlessly before slowly taking
some steps back and close the door; a smirk appearing on his face. Was that a challenge? He
turned around and looked Donghae in the eyes, with still the cocky smile on his lips, the proof that
he was superior and Donghae couldnt think about anything else than how much he loved that
smile.
Eunhyuk snapped his fingers on his right hand before pointing at the CD-player and Donghae
understood that he was ordering to turn the music on for him.
His body started to move perfectly to the music. He was looking at Donghae the whole time,
showing him that Lee Hyukjae never lost when it came to do with dancing. Donghae recognized
those intense eyes, from the first day, and that gave him goose bumps and he could literally feel
the red color being spread over his face. When he stopped dancing Donghae turned the music
off. He cleared his throat before saying anything.
That was what I was doing.
No, you were doing it like this. Eunhyuk replied, as he started to move his hips in an eight,
overreacting the motion to make it look ridiculous.
Donghae laughed a little. No, I wasnt.
Do it like this instead.
Oh, how those hips made Donghae lose his contact with earth. To hide his embarrassing blush he
turned the music on before raising himself and stand beside Eunhyuk. He danced, just like he
had done before but stopped when Eunhyuk suddenly shook his head and walked over to the
CD-player to turn the music off.
Youre still doing it wrong.
I dont get it.

Like this.
I did it like that!
You really are an idiot.
Donghae was about to reply something similar. But he didnt when he saw a change in Eunhyuks
face, like he was thinking over something. He was hesitating, looking at Donghae through the
mirror reflection before walking to stand behind him. He hesitated again before raising his hands
and placing them on Donghaes hips. Donghae could swear his heart just stopped.
Like this. Eunhyuk said again, his hands guiding Donghaes hips. But he was still holding his
distance at arms length. He let go of Donghaes hips to let Donghae try himself. But Donghae
still did it wrong and this time he knew it. He wasnt that bad in dancing to not understand what
Eunhyuk meant, but deep inside he didnt want to do it right. He wanted Eunhyuk to be closer.
You really are an idiot. Eunhyuk repeated, only this time it was said in a gentle tone. If you dont
get it this time then too bad for you.
Donghae nodded and Eunhyuk, this time not hesitating that much, once again put his hands on
the youngers hips, this time his whole body moving to stand closer to Donghae while Donghae,
just to stand a little closer took tiny steps back without Eunhyuk noticing Donghaes back almost
touching Eunhyuks chest. Donghae raised his head and dared to look in the mirror, watching
Eunhyuks face. Eunhyuk sensed his eyes and looked up too, his eyes meeting with Donghaes in
an embarrassing and awkward way. But he didnt pull away and neither did Donghae. Instead,
they just stood there, Eunhyuks hands still on Donghaes hips, while seconds in silence passed.
Y-yeah, so-something like that. Eunhyuk said after clearing his throat and hurried to pull away,
backing four, five steps. He walked over to where his bag was and slung it over his shoulder. He
was about to leave, but Donghae decided that it was enough. He was getting tired of this;
moments like this and Eunhyuk running away as soon as he realized what was going on.
Dont leave. Of course, Eunhyuk pretended that Donghae never said that. But he didnt
completely ignore him since Donghae telling him that only made Eunhyuk hurrying up in leaving.
If you leave Ill scream out that you kissed me. Donghae warned. Eunhyuk wasnt listening. He
opened the door and Donghae took a deep breath. LEE HYUKJAE KI
Bang! That was the sound of the door immediately closing. Eunhyuk froze in his position, before
slowly, slowly turning around. What do you want?
Donghae though that he had always been an honest and straight forward person. Always. And
now it was more than obvious that he should just act like himself. Unlike you I will be honest with
you. he started. He could clearly see that Eunhyuk would probably give almost anything to just
being able to leave. I think Im falling in love with you.
There. Finally. Donghae had said it out loud, to himself and to Eunhyuk. No more why am Is and
no more blushing and heart racing without having an explanation for it. Eunhyuk could flip or call
out to his 'friends' if he wanted - Donghae didn't care. It didn't matter anymore because Donghae
had made his duty by speaking from and with his heart.
Eunhyuk widened his eyes, clearly being taking off guard, and dropped his chin. Wh-what?
I think Im falling in love Donghaes knees started to shake, but he forced himself to repeat the
exact words as before with you
Eunhyuk repeated himself too, since he had no idea what else to say. Wh-what? What, are you
serious?

Obviously Eunhyuk knew that Donghae was being very serious, since joking about something like
this would be more than idiotic. The question he wanted to ask was why. Why on earth would
Donghae fall in love with Eunhyuk?!
"I dont know why. Donghae said honestly and shrugged his shoulders, way too comfortably for
Eunhyuks liking. You really are a jerk so I dont know why. But when youre not a jerk... When
you treat me like... like you care about me... I get really happy.
At this moment Eunhyuk wondered what the fuck he had done wrong. How did he end up in this?
He had a numerous times had girls confessing to him. And he would always smile that unique
smile of his, bow and thank the person before in a gentle voice turning them down. This was the
first time he couldnt do it and now, standing here, he had no idea what do to. His first thought
was to run away. Run away and never come back again.
Whenever I feel sad or scared I think about you... and I want you to be there... with me.
Why was he telling him that? Eunhyuk of all people. Didnt he usually hang out with Siwon, the
gentleman of all gentlemen? And that younger guy with a killer smile? Why Eunhyuk?!
This is insane... Eunhyuk said in shock, shaking his head slowly; his eyes still being huge.
Why? To Eunhyuk the answer was obvious. So obvious that he couldnt even say it. Did that
even make any sense? Why is it insane? Donghae asked again. Because your friends dont
like me? Because Im poor? Because Im a guy?
Because of all that. Because youre you.
That reason wasnt enough. At least not for Donghae. There were still incidents that were proof to
the contrary of what Eunhyuk was saying. Why did you kiss me? he asked. He knew Eunhyuk
wouldnt answer. At least not that easily. But Donghae didnt care. He wanted to know and if
Eunhyuk didnt want to answer then he would just kept asking till Eunhyuk would give in.
Donghae was an expert in nagging. I want to know why you kissed me.
I dont know why I kissed you! Eunhyuk finally said, drowning in frustration and confusion. And
who gives a damn? I kissed you because I wanted to, thats it. No love or whatever shit you are
imagining. So just leave it. It was fun, thanks, bye.
Once again he was about to escape but Donghae was quick and Eunhyuk didnt have time to
move from where he was standing till Donghae was already grabbing his bag too, preventing him
from leaving. Dont you dare leaving!
Dont you dare telling me what to do!
Youre supposed to detest me. All your friends do. If you wanted someone to fool around with
then the last person that would be with is with me. Kissing me just because it was fun is bullshit!
And you know it!
Eunhyuks body started to shake. Was he scared? Of what? He tried to make Donghae let go of
his bag by pulling it with hard. This was kind of comical, since a similar thing had happened in the
tent, with Donghae grabbing Eunhyuk's arm when he wanted to escape. And it probably looked
funny too; two students having a tug-of-war with a bag.
Running away will only make it worse! Ill haunt you till you die!
Eunhyuk moaned out of frustration, it was almost a scream, and let go of his bag. Why are you

like this? he yelled, almost laughing even though he didnt think anything of this was funny at all.
What do you want?
I want to be yours.
Eunhyuk, who was walking around in circles, his arms fluttering like he was a crazy person (he
felt like one right now) froze. He misheard him. Yes, he must have. He didnt even dare to look at
Donghae but he forced himself to. Who was the most out of his mind him or Donghae?
Something is terribly wrong with you. he said, his voice sounding like he was talking to an
insane serial killer. Something is... not working properly... in your mind.
Donghae chuckled weakly; a little sadly and a little happily. He shrugged his shoulders and
looked at Eunhyuk with honest eyes. Honest eyes expressing innocence and love. He slowly
walked over to Eunhyuk; standing right in front of him and still keeping eye contact. He didnt
break the eye contact till he suddenly wrapped his arms around Eunhyuks waist; his chin resting
over Eunhyuks shoulder. Eunhyuk wouldnt leave, he knew that. Because right now, Eunhyuk
was paralyzed. He didnt hug him back he wasnt even breathing. Donghae he closed his eyes
and sighed. Something is terribly wrong with you too.
Eunhyuk couldnt agree more.
SM Boarding School
Chapter eleven
After yesterdays incident nothing more happened. Eunhyuk, way too soon, pushed Donghae
slightly away. When standing like that, his hands on Donghaes shoulders, he looked Donghae in
the eyes as if he wanted to say something. He even parted his lips a little, but no words came out
of his mouth. In the end he just closed his eyes and let go of Donghaes shoulders before
massaging his own temples with his fingertips. After some seconds he mumbled what Donghae
thought was something like I need to think before leaving. Donghae himself felt the same.
Maybe he had just done a terrible mistake.
Donghae had an idea that sleeping today would be as hard as all the other days, if not worse. As
soon as Siwon would fall asleep and he would be left alone with his own thoughts he would
drown himself in what if-thoughts. At one hand he was relieved that he finally had told what he
felt but on the other hand he couldnt stop this uneasy feeling from coming; wondering if what he
just had done really was such a great idea.
So to clear his mind a little from all thoughts he decided to, even though it was pretty late, call his
mother. Hopefully she would still be awake and if not he would simply call tomorrow. He would
love it if she was awake though, since he really needed something else to think about right now.
Luckily for him someone answered the phone only after a few rings.
The conversation started with a loud Why havent you called, young man? while Donghae just
chuckled at the expected sentence, since he knew an ordinary Hello wouldnt be enough for his
mother. Right after that she asked if something was wrong since he was calling so late but
Donghae assured her everything was fine. He just wanted to talk to her. She asked him how
things were, how he was and if he was behaving, while Donghae told a story of him having a
wonderful time and having a lot of friends. She believed every word her youngest son told her.
When Donghae told her he missed them he could almost hear his mothers heart break. She
missed him too and so did his hyung. At the end of the conversation she said things that cheered
Donghae up more than anything in this world; telling him to stay strong and eat and sleep well.
She also told him that she believed in him, missed him and loved him and that everything would
be fine.

After hanging up he still had some troublesome thoughts in his mind. But the thought of his family
were greater and Donghae managed to finally fall asleep almost without any worries at all.
~*~
Waking up wasnt as horrible as it was when Donghae only slept for a few couple of hours. As
always he woke up half an hour before everyone else to make his breakfast and eat it in his
room. He didnt wake Siwon up though, but decided to take his time and make breakfast to both
of them. When he thought that before Donghae became Siwons roommate Eunhyuk and
Sungmin ever bothered Siwon he always got a bad conscience. He knew Siwon would never say
it because he was such a nice person, so even though it was a simple little thing as doing
breakfast Donghae would gladly do it for him.
While getting ready Donghae was about to pack his books some of them lying on his bed and
some of them on his table when he saw a couple of unfamiliar books lying there on the table,
mixed with some of his own. Are these yours? he asked and turned to Siwon, who was standing
in front of a mirror; trying to get satisfied with his hair.
Siwon turned his attention to Donghae, shook his head and continued fingering on his hair.
Donghae inspected the books carefully and then he realized that some of his own books were
missing. It took some time for him to remember what could be the reason for that. Yesterday he
started, while starting to turn over the pages of one of the unknown books. I fell and a guy helped
me up.
What guy?
Donghae packed down all books that werent his inside his bag to return them later today. I dont
know his name. I think he was a senior. He looked older.
What did he look like?
Donghae zipped his bag before trying to recall the scene. But at that time Donghae had been too
shocked to take notice of the others look. Was he brunette? Or maybe black haired? He couldnt
remember. I dont remember.
Siwon shrugged his shoulders, not understanding Donghaes point at all. But Donghae gave
himself a new mission today. He still hadnt thanked him. Though he had no idea how to find him
since he barely even remembered what the other looked like. He could imagine he looked like
most guys here short black or brown hair and a uniform and that didnt help him at all.
As school ended Donghaes hope died of finding the new guy. That was until someone tapped his
shoulder when he and Siwon were on their way back to their dorms. When turning around he saw
an unknown guy standing behind him. He could easily guess who it was even though the face
was not familiar in any way.
Hi there. the guy said with a smile as he extended two books. These are yours, right? I
suppose you need them. The guy was brunette and had his hair in a little ponytail. His nose was
straight and when he smiled he got small dimples on his cheeks.
Donghae bowed as he took the two books. Thank you. Again. And thank you for yesterday too.
And Im sorry for leaving the mess like that. Donghae could finally strike that out on his To do-list.
Dont worry about it. The still nameless guy turned to Siwon to greet him to before introducing

himself. Im Park Jungsoo. he said. But call me Leeteuk.

Youre a senior, right? Im Lee Donghae. And this is Choi Siwon.
Leeteuk face brightened up. The new kid? he asked.
The new kid was a synonym to the scholarship guy which was a synonym to the poor guy.
Donghae got uneasy and for a moment he doubted that this person really was a good guy. But
then he scolded himself mentally for being so paranoid.
He nodded and tried to smile politely, to not show what he just had thought.
Dont worry. Leeteuk said and gave him a wink Donghae was too obvious. Im a good kid. He
ruffled Donghaes hair with one hand. Take care. he said both to him and Siwon And be more
careful next time. That last part was meant to Donghae. He gave both younger males one last
smile before leaving.
~*~
The next day Donghae didnt go to school. He said he was sick, even though he was feeling quiet
okay. Siwon knew Donghae wasnt the type to skip class without any reason so after a few are
you sure?s he nodded understandingly and said he would bring Donghaes homework with him.
He asked if Donghae wanted him to come during lunch break but Donghae told him that it was
fine.
Donghae didnt find a specific reason to why he wanted to stay in his room today. He was just...
so tired. He just needed some rest, away from everything. He didnt want to see anyone, not the
students, not the teachers, not his enemies, no one. Just Donghae and an empty room. He would
calmly do his homework in a silent room, eat his lunch alone and then possibly go to bed and rest
for a while. Donghae rarely complained even though he often had negative thoughts. He
deserved giving himself one day to rest.
The day started fine. School started 8a.m and Donghae dared to leave his room and go to the
kitchen half an hour after all students had left. He sighed loudly and heavily, out of pure relief.
Today was his, and only his, day.
He ate breakfast in the kitchen for the first time ever since his first day here; since he and Siwon
had started to eat breakfast in their own room to avoid Eunhyuk and his friends. He calmly
returned to his room, took a shower and brushed his teeth before feeling good enough to start
with some homework. Around 10a.m he left his room only to get a glass of water and once again,
when walking over to the kitchen, he felt that unfamiliar happiness when knowing that no one
could disturb his precious time with himself. But Donghaes little bubble of happiness burst when
hearing the door leading to the corridor open. He was about to turn on the tap when he froze.
He listened intensely to the footsteps and heard yet another door open, this time a door of a
dormitory. Then a voice, a way too familiar voice, greeting someone in a way too gentle tone. The
voice belonging to the person that had caused so much chaos in Donghaes life immediately
made Donghae walk over to see what was going on. And he did not get happy at all when making
it just in time to see Eunhyuk letting in an unknown girl into his room. Eunhyuk was not supposed
to be here. And that girl was definitely not supposed to be there either.
Shrugging his shoulders and then going back to get his water never crossed Donghaes mind.
Nothing really did cross his mind actually, because it usually doesnt when you act on pure
impulse. Donghaes impulse was to slam the door open. That girl had succeeded in what people
thought was impossible; she woke up the jealous bitch inside Donghae.

Both Eunhyuk and the long haired girl froze in their positions; her thin arms around Eunhyuks
neck and he embracing her by her waist. They were just as surprised as Donghae was, if not
more, since neither of them knew what the heck the other was doing here.
A dull cheer appeared in Donghaes mind when realized that they hadnt had time to do anything.
But that disappeared when seeing where Eunhyuks hands were. Luckily the girl let go of
Eunhyuk as soon as she realized what had happened.
Are you even allowed to be here? Donghae asked, using a tone that made the answer obvious.
The girl looked at Eunhyuk with questioning eyes, as if he had the right answer since she still
didnt quite understand what was going on. Dont look at him, Im talking to you. he said with an
unfamiliar disgust in his voice that even made himself surprised.
She turned to look at Donghae with a clueless expression before once again looking at Eunhyuk
and once again asking him with the eyes what to do. But Eunhyuk didnt help her out as he
himself had a bothered, and possibly a little scared, expression. Eunhyuk decided to make an
attempt and say something but Donghae was faster. If you dont leave now youll be in huge
trouble. I will gladly tell on you. Before both males knew it the girl vanished, almost running away.
The awkward atmosphere was still there, even though the girl was gone, but now Donghae
started to regret a little what he just had done. Eunhyuk was clearly waking up from his shock;
getting back both his consciousness and anger. Donghae, deciding that he was too young to die,
made a failure attempt to run away but only managed to get out of the room, to the corridor, when
he was suddenly being pressed against the wall with Eunhyuks hands possessively placed on
either side of his head.
What was that? Eunhyuk hissed. You think you can just leave now after that little scene of
yours? He was standing dangerously close to Donghae, both body and face, which made it hard
for Donghae to concentrate on what he was saying. But this was Donghaes chance to make
things clear. Doing things halfway was for wimps.
Arent you with me now? he asked. Eunhyuks eyes, that were looking at Donghae as if he was
a prey, soften a little as if he was registering what Donghae just had said. But when he did he
gave him a lazy smile and chuckled soundlessly, only to show Donghae how ridiculous he was
being.
Halfway is for wimps, halfway is for wimps, was what Donghae kept repeating to himself and
forced himself to continue talking. I said I wanted to be yours.
And I never said I wanted you to be mine. Leave me alone. Eunhyuk backed off but only had
time to turn around as Donghae grabbed his wrist. Eunhyuk turned his face and glared at those
slender fingers. Donghae could almost feel Eunhyuks glare pierce through his hand and he
immediately let go.
Youre not even giving me a chance. he said fast, since he knew Eunhyuk would leave.
I dont want to give you a chance. Whats wrong with you? Leave me alone, for Christs sake!
Im going to be a nightmare! Eunhyuk was about to close the door behind him, since he had
finally managed to get inside his room, but he didnt. Somehow he had a feeling that Donghae
really could be a nightmare. Ill keep chasing away all your girls till you have no other choice than
to be gay! Eunhyuk turned around, not knowing if he should laugh because this was so comical
or cry because he knew Donghae was serious. And then Ill chase away all the guys till you have
to live in celibacy.
Eunhyuk sighed, his hands massaging his face. What the heck had he got himself into? They

stood like that in silence, Eunhyuk wishing that he could rewind the time and Donghae waiting for
Eunhyuk to say something, anything. Eunhyuk couldnt help but think that he was digging his own
grave and Donghae was helping him with the digging.
Werent you listening last night? Eunhyuk didnt answer. Even though it was a yes or no
question he had no idea what to say. I think I love you. Still no respond. Eunhyuk didnt even try
to say something. Donghae never failed to make him speechless.
If this would happen just a couple of weeks ago he would have laughed Donghae in the face. This
would be the highlight of humiliation and Eunhyuk would enjoy it more than anything. And the
seniors, they would enjoy it too. But now he couldnt. It was impossible saying something that he
knew he should. Eunhyuk hated him. He hated him for taking away the control Eunhyuk should
have. He just showed up one day to another and now suddenly Eunhyuks life was upside down.
I want you to be honest. Donghae said.
Honesty, Eunhyuk though. He wanted honesty fine, he would get his goddamn honesty. You
want me to be honest? he repeated, and his tone told Donghae he was not going to like it. Fine.
Then I want you to leave me alone. Leave. Me. Alone.
I dont believe you.
Eunhyuk moaned out loud in total frustration. Thats the problem! You keep nagging about
honesty but when you fucking get it you say you dont believe me, just because you dont like
what youre hearing.
Thats not true. Donghae said, and Eunhyuk got even angrier. How the fuck could he sound so
calm when he supposedly was the underdog?! I dont believe you because your eyes tell me that
youre lying.
Eunhyuk chuckled again, but this time only to prove that he was not going to lose this. Was this
even a competition? He didnt care. He was not going to lose anyway. Look at the poet. he said,
and managed to find the tone he usually used when talking to Donghae. He widened his eyes
and pointed at them. What more do you see? Perhaps a fuck off, you faggot?
Donghae didnt find Eunhyuks little joke funny at all. Instead, since Eunhyuks specialty was to
act like an immature child, he decide to speak in a way Eunhyuk couldnt be himself.
Maybe it is true. he suddenly said, looking Eunhyuk directly in the eyes, and Eunhyuk
unconsciously raised one eyebrow. Maybe you really dont want to be with me, Eunhyuk. Maybe,
Eunhyuk, you really do hate me and really want me to leave you alone. Eunhyuk knew Donghae
well enough to understand that there was something else Donghae would come up with, and he
was afraid. He didnt want to hear it, yet he didnt leave. But what does Hyukjae think about me?
Silence. Ive heard enough of what Eunhyuk has to say. Now, let me hear what Hyukjae wants to
say.
The dancers mind went blank. No words, no thoughts, nothing. He should defend himself even
though it would be a simple shut up, you idiot. But he didnt. He couldnt stop wondering if
Donghae really did have a point, and that bothered the hell out of him.
Thats why I dont believe you.
Eunhyuk sighed. His body wasnt as tensed as it had been all this time. He was used in having
things his way; he was always in charge and in control, but now for the first time in years he had
no idea what to do. He could barely look Donghae back in the eyes. But maybe it was time for
him to stop being such a control freak. Maybe everything would be okay anyway.

Do you want to be mine? he asked. He wondered if he would ever regret this. He also wondered
what the consequences would be. What was he risking? What was he really giving himself into?
He had no idea. Donghae nodded, still looking Eunhyuk intensely in the eyes. Eunhyuk opened
the door to his room wider, like how you do when someone is going to enter before you. Then
get in.
SM Boarding School
Chapter twelve
Donghae dared to turn his head and watch the undressed older. The coverlet was just right above
his navel and he was looking emptily at the ceiling. He wondered what the dancer was thinking,
since he clearly was thinking of something. He hated that with Eunhyuk, that Donghae never
could guess what the other had in mind. And it wasnt like he could ask or anything.
Listen. Eunhyuk suddenly said and turned to face Donghae back and right then Donghae knew
nothing good would come out of the others mouth. This doesnt mean anything. We arent dating
if thats what you think. Of course. Donghae saw that coming. Still, he felt like someone gave his
heart a hard squeeze. I think youre good looking. Thats all. I dont love you. Not even close. Im
not even sure if I even like you. Donghae was the first one to look away. He nibbled his bottom
lip; not knowing what to say, think or do. He just listened. And I probably never well either. Youre
getting yourself into this shit.
Donghae nodded slowly. I know. There was a moment of silence, both of them thinking over
what Eunhyuk just had said. But neither of them knew what would happen next and what the
point in all this was.
Good. Eunhyuk said after a while, being the one to break the silence. Now get out. Use your
own shower. Everyone will be back pretty soon. The tone he used was harsher than he wanted it
to be. Donghae quietly reached over for his clothes, got dressed and left; not even turning around
to look at Eunhyuk as he did so.
He closed the door behind him carefully. He felt empty. What had he gained with this? Was this
what he wanted? No, it wasnt just the sex. The sex was just a stupid impulse of his, thinking that
he and Eunhyuk would have some kind of connection after this. But of course that wouldnt
happen. How could he be so stupid? What really had happened was that he simply lost his self
respect. That was all.
He let himself slide down the door, hands covering his face, and cried. He had never, ever been
so humiliated before. He cried so hard that his chest started to hurt, and he coughed from lack of
air. Suddenly the door pushed his back as someone opened it. He immediately stood up, not
realizing till now that school had already ended.
What happened? was the first thing Siwon said when seeing the swollen, red eyes on his
roommate.
Donghae couldnt talk. He knew it was pointless to even try because it would end up being
incoherent words that would be cut short with sobs. Instead he warped his thin arms around
Siwons neck and hugged him tight and kept crying as Siwon kept asking what had happened.
**
I dont want to talk about it. Really. Donghae didnt know how many times he had said that

already to the taller one and of course that still didnt comfort Siwon at all. I will tell you later. But
not now, okay? I dont want to talk about it right now. Donghae added, knowing that Siwon really
cared and wanted to know what had caused Donghae to cry that hard. But nagging and forcing it
out wasnt really what Donghae wanted, Siwon understood that. So he nodded, even though he
disliked Donghaes decision of not telling him. But he couldnt stop worrying and terrifying
thoughts crossed his mind. The worst thing that came to mind was that something had happened
to his family.
Did someone... die? he asked carefully.
Donghae smiled sadly. A part of himself, maybe? No. he said in a low voice as he turned around
on his bed; facing the wall and his back facing Siwon.
~*~
If I ever woke up as a girl I would date someone like you. If not the real you since the original is
always the best one.
Siwon started laughing and shook his head. If that ever happens I promise I will marry you. he
said as bent down to put his shoes on. Donghae, who was standing in front of the mirror doing his
hair, was about to reply but didnt when something got his attention. Something was on his neck,
just above his collarbone. He raised his head a little to get a better view of his neck.
A red mark, that shouldnt be there, was there, caused by a certain someone.
What is it? Siwon asked and was suddenly standing right behind him. Donghae immediately
pulled his collar up and buttoned all buttons on his uniform shirt. Siwon raised one eyebrow and
inspected Donghae before speaking. "Are you gonna wear it like that?"
Usually the first two, three buttons were unbuttoned, mostly because it was uncomfortable having
them all buttoned. But Donghae nodded, as if he always had been wearing his shirt like that.
Well be late. he said to not give Siwon time to think about anything at all.
**
Donghae got permission to skip the first class since the school nurse had told him to go over to
her room, because she was going to take Donghaes bandage off his wrist. Donghae couldnt
thank her enough because he wasnt looking forward meeting Eunhyuk today. He knew he could
impossibly act as if nothing had happened.
And yes. During class Eunhyuk was acting disturbingly ordinarily compared to Donghae, because
Donghae had a hard time thinking about anything than yesterday. Whenever his and Eunhyuks
eyes accidentally met he immediately had to turn his face and cover it to hide his blush. He could
feel Eunhyuks angry eyes on him all the time because Donghae was being so obvious about
something happening.
Donghaes mission this day was to avoid Eunhyuk as much as possible. And since Eunhyuk
seemed to do the same it was an easy task. Whenever someone in their class got bored and
decided to do or say anything to Donghae like calling him a homeless dog or pushing him in the
corridor Eunhyuk kept his distance, pretending that he was doing something on his phone, and
leaving before the other had finished doing or saying whatever it was to Donghae.
During their lunch break they met up with Kibum and Ryeowook, as always, to decide what they

were going to eat. Both Kibum and Siwon had already decided what they were going to eat which
was in a pretty expensive restaurant. Donghae knew it only by name since he never had actually
been there. He knew none of his three friends would call that restaurant expensive, or else they
wouldnt bring it up. But for Donghae it was and his wallet didnt allow him to go and eat there. So
he just shook his head and said that he simply wasnt feeling like eating here. And Ryeowook,
being the kindhearted human being he was, decided to not eat there either so Donghae wouldnt
have to be alone. They split up, Kibum and Siwon leaving to that restaurant, while Donghae and
Ryeowook stayed and tried to decided what to eat. In the end they decided to not buy anything
and just make their own lunch.
When finishing they called their friends who told them they had returned to the school already.
But they were soon going to start their lessons, in about 15 minutes, again and decided to meet
up after school instead.
Donghae and Ryeowook walked together to the main building, talking a little about everything as
they did so. Donghae got surprised at how easy it was talking to Ryeowook, and how cute the
younger actually was. They were so busy talking and laughing that they didnt notice that they
both had stopped walking. But they got interrupted by a loud laugh that wasnt too unfamiliar.
They both turned their head and saw Sungmin and a guy whose name Donghae forgot laughing
loud, while standing beside Eunhyuk and Shindong. Eunhyuk and Donghaes eyes met by
accident and Donghae felt that uncomfortable feeling from before. He turned to look at Ryeowook
again, hoping that the younger hadnt noticed the change of mood. But Donghae wasnt that
lucky.
What is it, hyung? Ryeowook asked. But instead of answering Donghae, who realized they were
standing in front of the toilets, told him to wait for him as he disappeared inside the room behind
them.
Eunhyuk watched carefully as Donghae left his friend and got inside the rest room. Sungmin,
Shindong and Junsu were talking loudly about unimportant things and Eunhyuk interrupted them,
saying that he needed to use the toilet. The three nodded, not really listening to what Eunhyuk
had said as they kept talking and laughing.
Donghae was wiping his face with some paper when the guy using the only occupied cubicle
opened the door. As soon as the unknown guy left Donghae carefully unbuttoned the three first
buttons of his shirt to see that love bite on his neck, to make sure that it was there. Did he want it
to be there? No. Honestly, no. If someone saw it, it would cause chaos and Donghae didnt like
lying. He wasnt even good at it. But he didnt quiet dislike the mark either. That was actually the
only proof of something ever happening between him and Eunhyuk.
He sighed and was about to button his shirt again when the main door opened. Donghae froze.
Why did he have a feeling that this would happen?
He looked at the dancer through the mirror reflection in silence, but as the other approached
Donghae started walking fast to leave the room and avoid the older. But he didnt get anywhere
as Eunhyuk stopped him by grabbing him by his wrist. Donghae got a bad feeling. He tried to pull
his hand back but was in a second being pushed inside one of the cubicles. Eunhyuk locked the
door before pressing Donghae up against the wall.
Whats wrong with you? he hissed, obviously being furious.
What are you talking about?
Stop acting so fucking weird.

Donghae glared at him but didnt say anything.

Are you fucking out of your mind? Why are you being so goddamn obvious? Stop being such a
girl.
Leave me alone. Donghae replied as he pushed Eunhyuk away as far as he could in that small
space and reached over to unlock the door. But Eunhyuk was faster and stopped him by once
again pushing him against the wall but this time placing both his hands on either side of his head.
You want me to leave you alone? Now of all times? Stop being so ridiculous. Its pissing me off.
Donghae didnt meet his eyes, because he was afraid to start crying when thinking about
yesterdays humiliation. The least he could do now was trying and have some dignity left.
Was that me? Eunhyuk suddenly asked.
Donghae had to look at him to know what Eunhyuk was talking about. He saw Eunhyuk staring at
his neck. Who else would it be? he asked and got a little angry because the question was more
than stupid.
I dont know. Eunhyuk said and smirked. Maybe you just act all innocent.
Did he call Donghae a whore?
Donghae couldnt stop himself from giving the dancer a hard slap, so hard that an echo almost
was born. When Donghae realized what had happened; his hand stinging and Eunhyuks smirk
not being there anymore, he regretted it. He regretted it so bad. Eunhyuk slowly turned his face,
looking directly into the youngers eyes and for a moment Donghae was sure Eunhyuk was going
to beat him.
He was about to apologize, feeling frightened, but decided to keep his dignity. He got himself
prepared for the punch by tensing all muscles he could tense. Even though it just took a second
he register seeing Eunhyuk raise his hand and he immediately clamped his eyes shut, feeling
nothing but fear.
He heard the punch, but didnt feel it. After some seconds he dared to slowly open one eye;
realizing that Eunhyuk had punched the wall of the cubicle, right beside Donghaes head. He
looked at the hand; eyes wide open and heart beating fast, before turning to look at the dancer.
And unexpectedly Eunhyuks eyes soften. He removed his hands.
Fuck. he cursed. Deep inside he knew it was wrong blaming everything on Donghae, since he
too had some responsibility in all this. And even though he tried convincing himself to just not
care he couldnt. I didnt mean to say the things I said yesterday. Not in that way. Donghae
widened his eyes again, but this time in surprise. Was Eunhyuk apologizing? I just dont know
what to do with you. I dont know what you want.
Then youre just stupid.
Donghae sure was testing his luck and for a moment he regretted that too. Eunhyuk frowned, and
even glared at the younger, clearly not liking what Donghae just had said. But he decided to not
insult Donghae back, because they were pressed for time since someone might come. He was
quiet and let Donghae finish.
I already told you how I feel and what I want. If you still dont understand then youre an idiot.
Oh, it hurt not being able to reply back. Eunhyuk had some sweet words in mind that just begged

to be said. But he held it and tried to listen, not just hearing, to what Donghae was saying.
I didnt like what you said yesterday and it really hurt.
Eunhyuk started thinking. He tried to forget that someone might interrupt them or even worse
hear Eunhyuk talk to Lee Donghae. But that thought was still there; a little voice saying Youre in
huge trouble if someone sees you, Hyukjae. Youre risking a lot with this idiotic conversation. He
sighed in frustration before getting quiet for a moment and listen; searching for any sound that
told them they werent alone. But when neither of them spoke it was as silent as the grave.
We wont be couple. he started and carefully thought over his words. We wont date. So if you
call me your boyfriend Ill personally beat the shit out of you. Because Im not. And I never will be
either. He got a second thought, before saying the last thing he had in mind. But he decided to
say it anyway. But I will stop seeing other people.
A small smile appeared on Donghaes lips and he had to fight back the feeling of wanting to hug
the other. But for Eunhyuk the voice telling him that this was wrong and dangerous became just
louder and louder. Maybe it wasnt too late to take it all back? If someone hadnt walked inside the
toilet at that very moment, he actually might have taken it all back. Eunhyuk panicked and
pressed a hand against Donghaes mouth, even though Donghae wasnt even in the middle of
saying something. With a little luck the person entering would just leave right after...
Eunhyuk-ah!
Oh, shit. Eunhyuk froze and he even pressed his hand harder against Donghaes mouth, as if he
was making sure that not even the silent breaths would be heard. Donghae froze too, but not
because of the same reason. That voice didnt belong to Sungmin or Shindong. Not even to that
third guy whose name Donghae always forgot. No, the voice belonged to someone else. His
heart started to beat faster and tried to hold his breath completely, and thought himself getting
teary eyed. Blurry memories from a chilly night crossed his mind.
What have we here?
What are two turtle doves like you doing out here at this hour?
Oh, youre on your way home. Then I guess we shouldnt bother you.
Punches, kicks, blood and sweat. He closed his eyes hard and tried to not hear the other ones
voice and not remembering what he only wanted to forget.
Eunhyuk!
Donghae winced for every time that guy spoke. He opened his eyes again when Eunhyuk slightly
hit his cheek to get his attention. Dont. Even. Breathe. Eunhyuk clearly mouthed before opening
the door just enough to let himself pass and immediately closed the door as soon as he was out.
What? Donghae heard Eunhyuk ask on the other side of the door.
I need to talk to you about tonight.
Now? Cant we take it later?
He heard uneasiness in Eunhyuks voice. Was it because he knew Donghae was listening?
Even though Donghae was at this moment scared to death he could still register what both the
other and Eunhyuk was saying.

No, because its full of people outside

Hyung Eunhyuk interrupted. Lets take it later. Really. Im having a headache right now. And my
class is starting soon. Ill call you when school ends, okay?
There was a silence and Donghae could swear they could hear him breathe. Or move, even
though he was as immovable as a statue.
Take this now then. I dont want to carry it around. the other one said and for a second the
curiosity seemed to be greater than the fright. Call me when youre done. Me, Kangin and the
others will skip the last class, so well meet downtown. Got it?
Eunhyuk must have nodded because the other left without Eunhyuk saying anything else.
Donghae felt nothing but relief when he heard the door open and close. But he still tensed when
Eunhyuk opened the door to the cubicle. He closed it and locked it again. He wasnt holding
anything and since he wasnt carrying a bag right now Donghae figured out that the object must
have been something small enough to fit Eunhyuks pocket. But he didnt ask about it since he
knew Eunhyuk wouldnt respond but just get angry. And he kind of already was being in deep
water.
All students had already left when both males left the restroom since they were the only ones not
being in class. Not even Eunhyuks friends or Ryeowook where there and when Donghae
checked his cellphone he saw that Ryeowook had sent him a text message, apologizing for
leaving. But even though they were the only students being outside the classroom they didnt
walk back together, since Eunhyuk would rather skip class completely than risking to be seen
together.
**
Since it was Friday night today Donghae expected it to be a peaceful night. Not a lot of the
students spend the weekends at school, since Friday and Saturday where the only days when
they didnt have to follow the 10p.m rule.
Siwon was out with some friends and asked Donghae if he wanted to come. But since he already
had made plans with Kibum he said now, and spent the evening in his room playing games with
Kibum. Apparently Ryeowook was also downtown so the two of them were alone.
They goofed around completely; or mostly Donghae since Kibum still tried to act serious even
though he had learned years ago that that was pretty impossible around Donghae. They were
playing one of Ryeowooks board games when Donghae without noticing pulled the collar of his
shirt down a bit to scratch himself. Kibum immediately went silent. He reached forward and
grabbed Donghaes chin with his thumb and forefinger and turned his head to get a better view of
Donghaes neck. Whats that? he asked.
Wh-whats what? What?
With his free hand Kibum pointed at Donghaes neck. He brushed his free thumb over it, seeing if
it was some kind of dirt, but when he realized it wasnt his eyes darkened. What is that? he
asked again.
Donghae removed Kibums hand from his chin. I hurt myself. he tried with and Kibum gave him
a look that made him feel ridiculous.

Who did that? Kibum suddenly asked instead.

No one.
So you did it yourself? Kibum asked and started raising his voice. Stop treating me like I am a
fucking idiot and tell me who did that.
Donghae didnt answer. A million of things ran through his mind of what he should respond but he
didnt dare lying or telling the truth.
Are you seeing someone?
No.
Kibum chuckled, though it wasnt a happy chuckle at all. So youre just fucking around?
Dont talk to me like that.
The younger one gave him a disgusting look before raising himself and getting ready to leave but
Donghae was fast enough to stop him, grabbing Kibums hand. He walked over to stand in front
of him, between Kibum and the door. Tell me who did it. Kibum said again.
I wont.
Kibum harshly pulled his hand out of Donghaes grip. He pushed the older since he was standing
in his way; Donghaes back hitting the wall hard. Before Donghae realized what had happened
Kibum had actually pushed him the door slammed shut and Kibum was already gone.
Donghae tried calling after that happened but Kibum didnt answer. He also went upstairs to their
room but Ryeowook, who had already returned, told him Kibum suddenly had decided to stay
home this weekend. Donghae didnt know where Kibum lived, even though they had known each
other for years, since all the times they had met had been in Mokpo. So he couldnt go there. He
didnt ask Ryeowook anything about it either since he didnt want to tell him what had happened
and drag him into this. Instead he just nodded, telling him he would try calling him (even though
he knew he wouldnt because he already tried for hours) and left.
Later when Siwon came back he reminded Donghae that he too would stay home this weekend,
since Donghae apparent forgot Siwon telling him that. Donghae couldnt help but feel a little sad
over it since he already was used to living with someone. Also, he didnt want to be reminded that
he was one of the few students that werent able to go home during weekends. Maybe not even
during holidays. But Siwon, getting a bad conscience, tried to cheer him up by reminding him that
at least Ryeowook would stay in school during the weekend. It helped.
When Siwon was about to leave Donghae decided to accompany him some street so he himself
could take a walk. He also wanted to help Siwon carry some of his bags Siwon was carrying;
bags that were full of old clothes Siwon wanted to leave in his old room. When going back alone
he would try calling Kibum again and then after that he and Ryeowook had decided to meet in
Ryeowook and Kibums room to watch a movie. And so they did.
Siwon and Donghae started walking pretty late though, since Siwon kept forgetting one and
another thing and in the end they didnt leave their room till around 10p.m. They walked the dark
streets together, talking as they did so. Siwon told Donghae some childhood memories and
Donghae told him about Mokpo. Even though they had shared a room for a while now they still

had some new things to tell each other and they both listened to what the other had to say.
Donghae thought about telling him about his dad since he felt ready now but didnt since he didnt
want to ruin the good mood. He decided to tell it another day. They had plenty of time. Around
elven Siwon told Donghae to stop because they were already too far away from the school and it
was already very late.
*
On Donghaes floor almost all rooms where empty; some students where outside partying while
others had decided to do as Siwon and Kibum and stay at home. But one room wasnt empty;
room 205. There, a worried baby face was trying to call his missing roommate that didnt answer
his phone.
*
God, I didnt realize you walked this far with me. Were practically right outside my house. You
want me to walk back some streets with you?
Donghae laughed and shook his head. Dont worry about it. Your bags are pretty heavy. You
needed someone like me to help you with them.
The taller one chuckled. What, you think youre stronger than me?
Dont judge the book by its cover.
They both laughed together.
*
He was scared. His knees and hands were shaking and his heart was beating fast. He knew he
would cry after this he always did. He stared at the knife in his hand. Even though he already
forgot how many times he had held it, it still gave him a unfamiliar feeling having a weapon in his
hand, like it was the first time. It always had.
*
You sure youre going to be okay? Siwon asked again, for the second time.
Donghae laughed a little. Are you sure youre going to be okay? he replied with.
Go straight to the school. And call me when you get there. Siwon called, as he was walking
backwards, still facing Donghae.
Youre starting to sound like my mom. Donghae laughed and had to yell for Siwon to hear him.
Ill call when I get to the dorm. Bye!
Siwon started jogging to the opposite direction while Donghae continued to walk in his slow pace.
*
It wasnt for the things they all had more than enough money to buy almost whatever they
wanted. What was the reason then? What could it possibly be about that it was worth doing
something like this? Just showing that they can do something like this? Is that it? Eunhyuk didnt
know.

Maybe the reason was that they simply were seven immature, stupid boys yes, boys, because
neither of them where men yet doing something bad. Maybe the reason wasnt deeper than
that.
*
Donghae was still walking slowly, kicking one or two small stones as he did so. He had been
walking way too long now, it was already past midnight, and he hated to admit that he had gotten
lost. He pulled his phone up to call Ryeowook and tell him to not worry, he would be there as
soon as he would find the right way back to the school.
*
The alarm rang, telling them that they were not welcome, and he heard his friends yelling,
screaming in panic like they always did whenever something went wrong and then he heard them
run. He knew he also needed to run or else God knows whats going to happen. But he didnt
want to run. Maybe if someone found him like this, paralyzed with a knife in his hand, he would be
rescued. Maybe. He closed his eyes; it felt like he needed to swallow hard or else he would vomit
out his heart.
*
Donghae found some familiar streets and stores and almost jumped in joy. But then something
else got his attention as he suddenly heard several footsteps, crashing into the asphalt as people
were running with all their might towards Donghaes direction. He raised his head and saw them;
a group of same aged males running, all of them covering their faces with something; a mask, a
cap or a hood. The group passed him in seconds, without giving him one singe look and further
ahead Donghae saw a broken window leading into a expensive clothes shop. He winded his eyes
and looked back at the group that were already so far away that he barely could see them
anymore. Was that a burglary?
*
He couldnt hear the others anymore. They were probably far away by now, in a safe place. But
then he decided that this couldnt end like this. He needed to stay strong, for his own sake. He put
his knife back in his pocket and pulled his doctor-like mask off that was covering his nose and
mouth, to make it easier to breathe. He started running. Hell work this out, sooner or later, but not
by getting caught. He ran, with all his might; eyes closed and a lump in his throat. He didnt want
to see or hear anything and he just kept running holding the forbidden tears in.
*
Donghae was still looking at the direction where they guys had disappeared. He didnt know what
to do. Should he call someone? Scream? He picked his phone up with shaking hands, realizing
that something must be done. He didnt hear the last person running toward his direction and the
person was too lost in his own mind to realize Donghae standing alone in the darkness until it
was too late.
The guy crashed into Donghae as soon as Donghae registered that he wasnt alone and turned
around. They both fell, the other one covering his forehead in pain and Donghae getting
nosebleed and teary eyes because of the crash. He panicked, one hand covering his nose, when
realizing that this guy was a member of the group running away and the other guy panicked when
realizing that someone had seen him. He was about to put his mask, that was now only covering
his chin, back on but he froze movements, breathing, heartbeat, everything. Donghae looked up
and thought that his eyes must be deceiving him. He opened his mouth and had to force the
words out.

H-Hyukjae?
SM Boarding School
Chapter thirteen
Donghae had no idea what just had happened. He was on his way home after helping Siwon with
some bags, and now he was suddenly sitting on the ground; his butt sore from the fall and with
blood on his hands, pants and shirt. The blood came from his nose. He saw Eunhyuk running
away; one hand on his forehead. He must have been dizzy, since he was staggering when
running. Not that it seemed to stop him.
Donghae threw his head back and tried to stop the blood from running with one hand; feeling the
stream of blood running down his throat. Realizing he couldn't stay there he stood up on shaky
legs and slowly started walking. He just walked, feeling numb like a dead person still not
understanding what was going. He even forgot where he was supposed to go, and had to stop for
a moment to think.
After some silent minutes he saw that mighty banner, with that goddamn name, and for a moment
he suddenly regretted entering this school in the first place. He even regretted knowing the damn
name, SM Boarding School, of this forsaken place.
Hey, new guy!
An unfamiliar voice called and Donghae froze. His senses told him to run, run with all his might,
because now he was screwed. He imagined the guys from before, most likely the same guys that
had hurt him, standing right behind him. It was far past midnight, and no one would be there to
help him.
He felt someone putting a hand on his shoulder.
He was dead, for sure. They were going to hurt him and no one would help him. He turned
around slowly; feeling like his heart was in his mouth.
You look terrified. said the older male that was the one standing behind him, alone. He laughed,
but got a serious look as soon as he registered Donghae having blood almost all over him. What
happened?
Donghae, feeling like an idiot because of his paranoia, needed some seconds to think to who the
other was, and then he remember the name Leeteuk. He couldn't feel more relieved because the
guys he had in mind weren't the ones standing behind him. I tripped. he replied, feeling sick
from the taste of blood. He bend over and spitted, to not have to swallow it.
I'm sorry I forgot your name. Leeteuk said, as he put the bag that was hanging from his shoulder
down. He crouched down and started to dig in it, before seconds later pulling some napkins out.
Tell me again and I wont forget he smiled, as he gave Donghae the napkins.
Lee Donghae. Donghae replied and thanked, before replacing his hands with the napkin.
You fall around a lot, don't you? Maybe you should see a doctor about that.
Donghae chuckled. Don't worry about it. I'm just clumsy.
The older one laughed a little and shook his head. Anyway he then said after some seconds of
silence. I was on my way home. I'll see you around. And try to not trip till then. Donghae smiled

a little, mostly out of politeness since he really wasn't in a joky mood.

When Donghae returned to the school he went upstairs to his friends' room, and was welcomed
by a worried dongsaeng. Ryeowook almost panicked when seeing the blood on his hyung and
asked over and over again what had happened. Donghae told him the same story he had told
Leeteuk, and Ryeowook didn't question it.
~*~
The weekend passed painfully slow. Donghae didn't see Eunhyuk anymore, which didn't surprise
him at all. But he still couldn't prevent himself from looking for him; glancing over the shoulder
when he walked to see if he was somewhere in the room, walking slower than necessary in the
corridor to see if someone would come out of his room. He did that even though he knew
Eunhyuk wasn't even in the school anymore.
He decided to not think about what he had seen anymore. He wouldn't get anywhere and the only
think it would result in would be hundreds of questions. Instead, he would patiently wait for
Eunhyuk to return and then ask. But even that thought seemed stupid, because it was Eunhyuk it
was about. It would take a miracle for Eunhyuk to actually tell Donghae what was going on. But
still, Donghae couldn't do other than just wait.
Not everything was bad though. During the disturbing suspense, commonly known as 'the
weekend', Kibum finally decided to answer Donghae's call. He apologized for over reacting and
for pushing him, while Donghae apologized for... well, he didn't know. He just assumed he had
done something wrong for Kibum to react like that.
Are you seeing someone? Kibum suddenly asked, interrupting Donghae's pointless story about
fishes. Or wasn't it something serious?
The question caught Donghae out of guard and he needed to think over what Kibum was asking
and what to answer. I really don't want to talk about it. he said carefully, scared of getting Kibum
angry again. I'll tell you later, okay? I promise. I just don't want to talk about it right now.
Sure.
Even though he said that Donghae could still hear a slight hint of anger in the other's voice. But
there wasn't anything Donghae could do about it, so in the end he decided to just let it be.
~*~
Monday. Finally. And Eunhyuk avoiding Donghae didn't surprise Donghae at all. But Donghae still
felt almost relieved over at least getting to see his cowardly classmate. But since Eunhyuk made
sure to always be around a lot of people, people that didn't like Donghae even the slightest,
Donghae never got the chance to say one single word to the dancer.
It was frustrating, and Donghae got angry over Eunhyuk acting so immaturely, as if he was
scared of Donghae now all of a sudden. Though he knew Eunhyuk couldn't avoid him forever.
Actually, he would be able to avoid him till 9.30PM. 9.30 Donghae supposedly needed to end his
dance practice so Eunhyuk could start his. Yeah, right.
Donghae didn't have the head to practice dance at the moment, so as soon as he got to the
practice room he walked over to sit beside the door, resting his back against the wall. He made

himself comfortable for the wait.

Meeting Eunhyuk at the practice room was awkward. More than Donghae thought it would be.
But then again, what else could he expect? When Eunhyuk first got there dressed in sweat
pants, a tank top and his familiar bag being slung over his shoulder he didn't take notice of
Donghae's presence. But after taking some steps into the room he jumped slightly in surprise
when seeing Donghae in the mirror reflection. Donghae stood up and closed the door and
positioned himself in front of the door, the only way out. Donghae waiting for him didn't surprise
Eunhyuk at all.
Why are you doing this? Donghae asked.
Eunhyuk didn't even turn around, but kept looking at Donghae through the mirror reflection. He
considered whether he should throw Donghae out or leave. Doing what? he asked, only cause
he wanted to give himself some more seconds to think over what he should answer.
You know what I'm talking about.
Realizing that Eunhyuk didn't know how to escape this, he decided to just leave like he always
did. He started walked towards Donghae. And Donghae, clearly knowing what Eunhyuk wanted to
do, spoke up. I'm not moving.
I'm gonna make you move.
Donghae reached out his right hand, his hand making contact with Eunhyuk's chest as he gently
stopped him from walking. Talk to me. he said. Please.
Eunhyuk let his bag drop from his shoulder. Why should I?
Because I care. And I want to know.
The dancer went silent, but kept looking at the younger.
Talk to me. Donghae repeated, but still got no respond. Was he thinking over it? Donghae didn't
know, and it bothered the hell out of him, not being able to say or even guess what Eunhyuk had
in mind. Do you really want to live like this?
Yes. Eunhyuk responded, as he picked up his bag again. Now leave me alone.
You're lying.
Eunhyuk sighed loudly, biting his bottom lip in annoyance. Can I trust you? he suddenly asked.
It took some time for Donghae to register what the other had said. But as soon as he did he
nodded. Was he actually going to tell him? Yes, of course.
Eunhyuk gently pushed Donghae out of the way and Donghae, being too surprised over the
question, let himself being pushed aside. Then don't call the cops.
Hyuk before Donghae had time to finish the door in front of him closed.
**

Something was wrong with Eunhyuk. Donghae couldn't stop thinking about it. Everything pointed
in that direction; something was wrong with him.
He was sitting down at his desk, thinking over everything that had happened carefully; the Korean
teacher telling him that Eunhyuk once actually was a good kid and Eunhyuk doing illegal things
together with the hyungs. Was Sungmin involved as well? He thought about what Eunhyuk had
done to other students, as well as to Donghae himself. Donghae wanted to know, but he knew
Eunhyuk wouldn't tell him that easily.
First of all, he needed to earn Eunhyuk's trust. It wasn't until then that he could actually know
what was wrong with Lee Hyukjae. He would give in and do everything he possibly could to gain
Eunhyuk's trust, not caring if it would take days, weeks, months or years.
Are you studying? Siwon suddenly asked.
Donghae woke up from his thoughts and dropped his head to look at his empty notebook. Uh he
said. Yeah.
Siwon chuckled at Donghae being such a bad liar. He turned around, his back facing Donghae
before pulling his comforter up to his ears. Turn the lights off when you're done.
Donghae nodded, forgetting that Siwon wasn't watching. He had other things in mind, anyway. He
walked over to turn the ceiling lamp off before going to bed. He would, in the end, get to know the
real Hyukjae.
~*~
They school day the next day seem to pass by even slower than it did yesterday. Donghae got
pushed once by some students during a short break. He didn't know if they were Eunhyuk's
friends or not since Eunhyuk wasn't there. The crash with the wall wasn't even that bad. It was
just annoying. So freaking annoying. After school the school dance would have dance practice
together, and Donghae didn't know if he should look forward to it. He probably shouldn't. But he
had already decided he would talk to Eunhyuk today, after the practice. Or at least try.
The students were sitting quietly on their seats, sighing and just waiting for the clock to move
faster. Ten minutes left before school would end. Even Sungmin, who was one of the louder
students, was quiet. Donghae turned around discreetly and saw Eunhyuk and Sungmin chatting
in a low voice for once, Eunhyuk chuckling every now and then to something stupid Sungmin said
which Donghae couldn't hear.
He got a light hit on his arm and he turned to face Siwon who was the one wanting his attention.
Siwon didn't have to talk for Donghae to understand him. His eyes and brows clearly said don't
watch. Donghae shrugged his shoulders a little and sighed, shooting a glance over to the clock
like the other students were doing.
The clock rang and the students immediately woke up, as they automatically regained their
strength and energy. They started talking loudly, raising themselves from their seats to pack their
bags. As Siwon and Donghae made themselves ready to leave as well, Siwon told Donghae he
and some friends would be dining outside today and asked him to come. Donghae knew Siwon's
friends were snobs, people who always had to look at the price before buying something to make
sure it was high enough, and Donghae said no, but thanks without having to think twice.
He pulled his chair closer to the desk; watching Eunhyuk, Sungmin and Shindong leave the

classrooom. Shindong was typing something on his phone, Sungmin shoot Donghae a nasty look
and Eunhyuk completely ignored him.
**
Around 7p.m Donghae got the opportunity he was waiting for. Since it was too hot in his room he
grabbed a book and a glass of water before walking to the kitchen and sitting himself on one of
the couches. He was the only one there and he completely enjoyed it.
That was until he heard steps in the corridor, walking towards the kitchen and he wished from the
bottom of his heart that it wasn't someone that minded Donghae being there. He got surprised
when he saw it was Eunhyuk because he was alone, without his friends.
Eunhyuk gave Donghae one fast look before doing what he had done the whole day; he ignored
him. Donghae watched him as the dancer walked over to the kitchen sink, reaching up to grab a
clean, empty glass before turning the tap on. Where's Sungmin ssi? Donghae asked.
Eunhyuk turned the tap off and drank some before replying. Downtown.
Why didn't you go?
None of your business.
The dancer spilled the last water out and left the glass there, not even bothering to wash it.
I need to talk to you. Donghae said and closed his book, before Eunhyuk had the time to return
to his room.
Eunhyuk suspiciously looked around, making sure they where the only ones there, before turning
to face the other. I don't have anything to talk to you about.
Donghae raised himself from the couch and slowly started to walk towards the anxious teenager.
Please? Just give me a minute. Eunhyuk once again turned to look at the corridor, to make sure
no one was hearing them; the thought of getting caught when talking to Donghae, not only by his
friends but by anyone, was terrifying. He turned to look at Donghae again. Siwon won't be back
till late. Donghae said, seeing that he still needed to convince Eunhyuk. Please?
Eunhyuk got an uneasy feeling when entering Donghae's room for the first time. He looked
around discreetly since he didn't want to seem too curious; easily guessing which side was
Donghae's and which side was Siwon's. When standing in the middle of the room he stopped and
turned around, facing Donghae; waiting impatiently for Donghae to say something since he
wanted to leave as soon as possible.
I just wanted to apologize for earlier today. Donghae said, as he approached the older. Eunhyuk
shrugged his shoulders, and Donghae didn't know whether it was a 'I don't care' or a 'it's okay'.
That reminded Donghae of how they should get awarded the first prize for best communication
ever. But knowing Eunhyuk it was most likely not an 'it's okay'. Are you angry with me?
I don't care.
What an answer.
Don't be angry with me. he said in a low and gentle voice, moving yet a little closer; standing

right in front of his classmate. He saw Eunhyuk getting goose bumps; the hair on his arms raising,
and he smiled. He started moving his mouth closer and closer to Eunhyuk's and Eunhyuk didn't
move backwards to avoid him. Instead, he even leaned forward a little.
Donghae stopped, his lips barely touching with Eunhyuk's; both of them breathing into the others
mouth.
I'm sorry. Donghae whispered again. He thought seeing Eunhyuk nod slightly, before the dancer
impatiently closed those last tiny inches that prevented their lips from touching. They kissed,
Donghae's hand moving to embrace the older by his neck while Eunhyuk's one hand snaked his
way around Donghae's waist and the other on the back of Donghae's head; pressing Donghae's
mouth against his own.
Donghae yah, do you know where
Silence. Siwon's sentence was cut in half, just as Donghae and Eunhyuk's actions where. The
three of them froze in their positions, not moving an inch, and not knowing what to say: the two
secret lovers embracing each other and Siwon standing in the doorway with his eyes and mouth
wide open.
Realizing what just had happened Eunhyuk pushed Donghae away, maybe a little too harshly, but
he honestly couldn't care less. He slowly moved his head to meet Donghae's eyes, asking what
the heck was going on, as the other did the same; both of them being just as confused and
surprised.
Uh... Siwon said stupidly, being the one to break the silence.
Siwon ah Donghae started, even though he had no idea what to say.
Sorry for... Siwon thought for the right word. ... interrupting... you. He immediately left, without
letting Donghae say something else.
The moment Siwon closed the door Eunhyuk exploded. You said he wasn't here! he yelled.
What happens if he tells anyone?!
He won't.
How can be so sure of that, stupid? What the fuck are we supposed to do now? God, you're so
fucking stupid. You idiot, you coul
I'm telling you, he won't tell anyone!
Both of them started to raise their voice; both of them being upset for different reasons.
You know what Eunhyuk said, and suddenly Donghae knew this could impossibly end in a good
way. Fuck you. You only cause me problems. He started walking towards the door. Every time
you get close to me you just get me into trouble. And it's getting pretty fucking annoying by now.
You always
What are you so scared of?
Eunhyuk didn't continue his sentence but went silent. He had managed to reach out for the door
handle, but didn't press it down to open the door. He thought for an answer and absurdly enough
he didn't seem to find it. What was he actually scared off?
What's so bad about being with someone like me?

He sighed and to Donghae's surprise it didn't sound angrily or arrogant. He turned around to face
the younger. This can't end in a good way and you know it. he said and Donghae felt for the first
time that Eunhyuk was actually talking from his heart. No matter how much you say you like me
you know this can't end in a good way. Because I don't like you. And I never will either.
What Eunhyuk said didn't sound as an insult, a threat or a mock. It sounded honest. Though
Donghae could literally feel Eunhyuk stretching out his arm, through Donghae's chest and
grabbing his heart hard to give it a hard, painful squeeze.
Why do you insist on clinging on to me, when you know I don't have any interest in you?
Why do you still let me cling on to you?
Eunhyuk chuckled sarcastically. I've never
You said you would stop seeing other people. And I assume that's because of me. Donghae
moved a little closer. Why do you still let me? Eunhyuk didn't answer. There must be a reason,
or else you wouldn't have said that.
Stupidity? Impulsiveness? Lust? Eunhyuk didn't know. But he was sure of one thing; it was
certainly not love. He could easily let Donghae go without feeling sad over, not even a little. But
Donghae was right, something must be there for Eunhyuk to tolerate Donghae to pry. No matter if
it was stupidity, impulsiveness or just pure lust, there was still something of them there. Probably
all three of them.
He sighed heavily. Just make sure he doesn't tell anyone, understand? he said, and this time
sounding a million times gentler than before. I'm serious.
Donghae gave him a smile, a wink and a thumb up before leaving the room to find Siwon.
Siwon was in the kitchen, clearly still being in shock when Donghae approached and dragged him
back into their room. Of course, Eunhyuk was already gone when they returned. Wow, that
was... highly unexpected. Siwon said, scratching his head as he walked over to sit on his bed.
Donghae chuckled and closed the door behind them. Not only for you.
Siwon thought for a moment, opened his mouth to speak but closed without having said a word.
He even took a silent deep breath to speak, preparing himself, but he found no words. He
chuckled at his own speechlessly. Yeah, highly unexpected. he repeated. Are you dating?
Donghae shook his head. I wouldn't really call it 'dating'.
Siwon nodded a little to himself, being just as confused as Donghae seemed to be. But like... do
you... like him?
Donghae shook his head. I love him.
That was yet another thing to add on Siwon's surprised-list and he once again opened both his
eyes and mouth wide. Wh-what? Are you serious? A nod. And he is in love with you?
He doesnt even like me.
Does anyone know?

No, just you.

Siwon sighed heavily. When you first got here he started I told you that the smartest thing
would be to stay away from them. Donghae nodded slightly, eyes staring at the floor, like a child
would do when being scolded by his parents. I didn't say that without a reason.
I know.
Apparently you don't. Siwon didn't use an angry tone when speaking to him. It wasn't anger, it
was something else. Disappointment? Of all people, Donghae.
Ironic, isn't it?
Siwon chuckled, not sure what the heck the other one was thinking with. He watched as Donghae
slowly walked over and finally sat down too on Siwon's bed. What's going to happen now?
Siwon asked; being more concerned than Donghae himself about the situation.
I don't know. Donghae said honestly and shrugged his shoulders. The answer clearly didn't
satisfy Siwon at all. He looked at Donghae as if Donghae was either joking with him or just being
stupid. I really don't. I'm going to take one day at a time. Maybe it won't last for longer than just
some days. He changed position to completely face his roommate. Just don't tell anyone,
okay?
Siwon obviously did not like what he just saw. Or what he was hearing, since Donghae was
practically asking him to support him. But Donghae was his friend, and no matter what happened
Siwon always supported his friends. He nodded after sighing heavily. I won't. he said.
Donghae gave him an angel's like smile; a smile not even a person like Eunhyuk could say no to.
Thanks Siwonie. he said and Siwon could just chuckle at himself.
**
Evening came and dance practice awaited both Donghae and Eunhyuk, an all other students in
the school dance. And when Donghae arrived he saw that even Sungmin, who wasn't a part of
the school dance, had decided to come to watch. That was against the rule, since only the one's
in the school dance were allowed to be in the practice room at this hour. Not that he expected
either Eunhyuk or Sungmin to actually care.
Surprisingly enough Donghae didn't get as ignored as he had first been. Not even by Eunhyuk.
Actually Eunhyuk seemed to admit that Donghae was indeed a good dancer, since most of the
time he let Donghae be on the front row. But since Eunhyuk was totally in charge of the school
dance there weren't any teachers there. And the thought of being alone with just Eunhyuk and his
friends gave Donghae the creeps.
Still, the practice went suspiciously good. Donghae still got ignored most of the time, of course,
but that was a lot better than being bullied. They were working on a new choreography, which
Eunhyuk had made, and if Donghae didn't catch on he knew it would be useless to ask. So
instead, he had already assured himself that he would pay attention to everything Eunhyuk said
and did.
However, he cursed himself for not realizing that it was Eunhyuk that was doing the dance. That
it was Eunhyuk moving his hips like that and Eunhyuk getting darker eyes whenever he focused
on his own dancing and forgot about everyone else. Donghae's concentration went out the
window as soon as the music started playing and Eunhyuk started moving that flexible body of

his.
Suddenly Donghae, obviously not paying attention to himself like he should, forgot the next step.
He turned to his right and realized too late that he had done wrong. He suddenly found himself
pressed against Eunhyuk, stomach against stomach. Eunhyuk grabbed Donghae's upper arms to
prevent Donghae from falling due the loss of balance and there was no way to avoid their eyes to
meet.
What do you think you're doing? he heard Sungmin suddenly hiss, with pure disgust. Donghae
didn't had time to realize Sungmin was talking to him, before he felt two hands push him, as soon
as Eunhyuk had let go of his arms. He lost his balance when his own feet crashed into each other
and he fell. He looked up and saw Sungmin standing there, arms crossed as if he was going to
punish him for something he had done. He didn't reply Sungmin's question, since he was positive
that Sungmin's reaction wouldn't change, no matter what he said. Don't touch him, you dirty
freak.
What exactly Donghae had done wrong wasn't really clear to Donghae at the moment. But he
kinda had an idea. And if Donghae bumping into Eunhyuk by accident actually was the reason,
then he didn't know weather he should laugh or cry. Sungmin was acting like a bitch, a
overprotective, jealous girlfriend who was in her period. It was absurd. He glanced over at
Eunhyuk and saw that he wasn't paying any attention to them. The bastard was watching himself
in the mirror, fixing his already fixed hair.
Sungmin gave him one last disgusted look before turning on his heel. Really, Donghae thought
and chuckled silently for himself, this guy can't be for real.
When everything ended Donghae was the last one to leave the practice room. All other guys and
girls left together, talking, joking and laughing togheter; leaving Donghae behind. It felt like it was
a hundreds of years ago Donghae experienced that; being surrounded by laughing friends. In his
previous school Donghae was a quiet popular guy, both among girls and boys. But now he was a
nobody; someone people would rather avoid than being friends with.
He looked around in the square shaped room and sighed heavily. He couldn't stop thinking about
Sungmin.
What would happen if Sungmin knew? What would happen if anyone knew? Not only Eunhyuk's
friends, but the few friends Donghae had here as well. Ryeowook, Kibum, even his family. Even
Leeteuk who he just met. Millions of questions crossed his mind. What would they say? Would
they get disappointed at him, like Siwon? Or would they just get angry? He didn't know. He didn't
even know if this relationship would last long enough for people to know. He didn't know
anything, and that bothered him. Even though he knew he was in love he still didn't even know
Eunhyuk as a person. What if he never would get to know him either, even though he would try
with all his heart to understand the other? No one could assure him it would be a happy ending;
not Siwon, not Eunhyuk and not even he himself.
He sighed one last time before turning the lights off and closed the door.
SM Boarding School
Chapter fourteen
The sun was shining bright and clear; waking both Donghae and Siwon up before the alarm clock
did. Both teenage males groaned, cursing the sun for getting up so goddamn early.
What time is it? Siwon mumbled, his face pressed against the pillow; an attempt to mitigate the
strong sunlight.

Donghae, who was also using the pillow as protection, mumbled back something inaudible, which
Siwon understood as an I don't know. It took some minutes before both students decided to
gather all their common sense and raise themselves from their bed.
For some reason there was a bit tension in the air, but the reason for that was pretty obvious for
both of them. Though neither for them dared to bring it up; Donghae because he wasn't sure if
Siwon wanted to know and Siwon because he wasn't sure if Donghae wanted to tell him. But they
had already succeeded in becoming close friends so eventually Siwon decided to speak up. He
had no idea how to start the conversation so while he was standing in front of the mirror, fixing his
uniform tie, he decided to just go straight to the point.
How did everything start?
With Hyukjae? Donghae asked, who just had finished making his bed. He sat down on it.
'Eunhyuk'. Siwon corrected and even sighed slightly annoyingly at his roommates boldness.
And yes, with him.
Remember that trip we made with the teacher to that forest? When me and him got paired up?
In the mirror reflection Donghae could see Siwon drop his chin. I know. Donghae said. I didn't
know it would turn out like this.
The taller one turned around to face the younger and look him in the eyes when he was talking to
him. I honestly have no idea what you're getting yourself into, Donghae. he said and Donghae
could only nod in agreement. But whatever the heck you're doing I hope you won't regret this.
Donghae kept nodding. And we're friends so if things go wrong, you know, Siwon shrugged his
shoulders, clearly not being used to say such things. at least you know that I'm here for you.
The shorter one immediately shone up. He couldn't stop himself and just had to give his tall friend
a hug. I know. he said and smiled. Siwon could only sigh as he hugged his friend back.
Eunhyuk's seat was empty their first lesson, and the teacher didn't ask about it. Same thing with
their second, third and fourth lesson and those teachers didn't ask about it either. Sungmin, who
switched between acting like Eunhyuk's girlfriend and mother, didn't mind either and Donghae
drew the conclusion that he was sick and had already informed their teachers. Though that didn't
stop Sungmin, Shindong and some other students to giggle, comment or roll their eyes whenever
Donghae said or did something.
But like all other days, Donghae survived and he almost let out a yell of happiness when the
huge, loud clock rang; telling the students that the day finally had ended.
After spending some hours with his friends he and Siwon made their way back to their own room.
Siwon decided to study for a while, and since Donghae didn't feel the same he left the room to not
disturb his friend. With a book in his hands he sat down in one of the couches in the kitchen; his
knees close to his chest, and his feet on the seat. He opened the book and started reading.
After a couple of minutes he heard one of the doors open and Donghae, being curious by nature,
leaned forward, without even thinking about it, to get a better view of the hallway. There, he saw
Sungmin leaving his and Eunhyuk's room. Considering his shorts and tank top, his sunglasses
and his bag Donghae could easily guess he wouldn't return anytime soon. He watched as the
same aged boy locked the door, adjust his glasses and started walking.
He waited until he heard the main entrance of the boys' dorm open and close, before he left the

book on the table in front of him, raised himself and quickly ran over to knock on the door to see if
Eunhyuk had left as well.
You fucking have the key, why are you knocking? he heard an irritated voice from the other side
of a door, and a small smile was spread on the younger one's lips. He knocked again, but no one
opened. It wasn't until the the fourth knock that he heard heavy and angry steps walk towards the
door, and Donghae had to step back to make sure the door wouldn't hit him when it got opened.
What?! Eunhyuk hissed, clearly not liking whoever was disturbing him.
His hair was pointing in all possible directions and he was wearing gray sweatpants and, like
Sungmin, a similar tank top who only made his defined arms look even better. When realizing it
was Donghae standing in front of him, he got wide awake, looked around in the corridor before
grabbing a hand full of Donghae's shirt and pulling him inside his room with one motion. He
locked the door and turned around to face the younger clearly not liking his visit. What do you
want? he asked and didn't wait for a reply before he got to bed again. He turned his back against
Donghae and pulled the coverlet up to his chin.
Are you sick? Donghae asked.
None of your business.
Obviously, that was a yes.
Do you have a fever? Eunhyuk didn't answer, which didn't surprise Donghae at all, so instead
he walked over to sit on the small space that was left on Eunhyuk's bed. Eunhyuk didn't move to
give him some more space. Let me see.
Eunhyuk sat up, but not to let Donghae get what he wanted. Instead, he sat up to directly throw
Donghae out. What are you doing here? he asked, even though he didn't want an answer. I
don't recall giving you permission to
Donghae placed both of his hands on either side of Eunhyuk's cheeks, ignoring Eunhyuk's
rudeness, and leaned forward to press their foreheads together. Eunhyuk immediately went
silent. Yep. Donghae said, not looking into Eunhyuk's eyes but up, at his forehead. You have a
fever.
Waking up from his frozen position, Eunhyuk pushed Donghae back as gently as he could. What
is it with you and skin ship? he asked and frowned, even though he ended up looking rather cute
than threatening in Donghae's opinion.
What do you mean?
You're always touching everyone, like to a point when it even gets annoying. And you're always
being so goddamn close and clinging on everyone. What's wrong with you?
It sounded like some kind of a disease Donghae seemed to have, and rather than being curious
about it, Eunhyuk didn't want anything to do with it.
Nothing's wrong with me. Donghae said. I'm a skin ship-person.
Then stop it. It's freaking me out.
Most of the time you don't seem to mind. Donghae said honestly. Eunhyuk frowned again and
snorted, before getting back to his previous position on the bed; once again his back facing
Donghae. Besides Donghae added. I only do it with people I treasure.

There was a moment of silence until Eunhyuk shifted on his bed to find a more comfortable
position, and finally giving Donghae some more space to sit on. Whatever. he mumble, but the
fact that it was a half hearted 'whatever' made Donghae smile.
~*~
Eunhyuk wasn't in school the next day either, though that was the last thing Donghae had in
mind. For some reason, their last lesson seemed to go painfully slow.
What their history teacher was saying was, at the moment, completely uninteresting and
Donghae couldn't even pretend that he was listening. And to make things worse, Siwon and
Donghae got caught when talking too much so the angry teacher ordered Donghae and another
talkative guy to switch places. With a silent sigh Donghae grabbed his books and raised himself,
to sit down beside a pretty blonde who Donghae had never talked to before. He gave the girl
beside him and awkward smile feeling the scent of an expensive perfume that came from her
as soon as he got close as if asking for permission to sit down beside her, and she responded it
with a much more comfortable smile.
Donghae sat down and opened his book before placing one elbow on the desk; supporting his
chin on his hand, and looked out of the window beside him. He sighed once again, just as silent
as before.
The teacher kept talking about whatever the subject was. When Donghae woke up from his
daydreaming he saw that Siwon seemed just as bored as he himself was; if not more, because
Donghae at least had a window to entertain himself. He glanced over to the blonde without her
noticing because she was too busy writing down what the teacher was saying in her pink
notebook. He noticed that her handwriting was neat and her nails were long.
He turned his face again to look out of the window and suddenly he wasn't in the mood for
daydreaming anymore. He saw a male sitting on a bench, his upped body leaning forward, his
legs spread and his elbows resting over each knee. Beside him was another male sitting, his
back leaning against the wall behind them; a taller brunette with his hair in his famous little
ponytail. Even though they were pretty far away Donghae could clearly see who the two guys
sitting there were.
He watched as Leeteuk leaned forward a little to tap Eunhyuk's knee motivationally and Donghae
was too far away to see Eunhyuk's reaction. He had no idea they were friends. He didn't even
know that they actually knew each other. And then, that famous group of mini gangsters walked
towards the two males, with Heechul walking in front of them as always, and Donghae felt his
stomach cramp at just the sight of his senior, the distance not making any difference. Leeteuk
was the first one to raise himself from his sitting position, while Eunhyuk only raised his head to
look at his hyungs, and even Donghae could see that there was some tension between both
seniors.
Leeteuk still looked calmed, despite the fact that he didn't have any of his friends there with him,
until Heechul approached and pushed him back hard with one hand. Some of Heechul's friends
who were standing behind him made themselves ready to however Leeteuk would try to defend
himself with. But Leeteuk didn't do anything. Instead, he turned to face Eunhyuk, probably said
something and gave him a quick, cheering tap on his right shoulder. He left, without even looking
at the same aged males.
Can I borrow your eraser? The soft voice made Donghae almost jump a little in surprise. He
turned his face to look at girl beside him. He looked at her without knowing why or what she
wanted, since he hadn't been listening to what she had said.
She smiled a little. The eraser. she repeated and nodded at Donghae's gray eraser; her long
golden hair waving a little. Donghae grabbed it and gave it to her, their hands touching, without

saying anything. Thanks. she said and smiled again before erasing what she just had wrote.
Even though Eunhyuk had skipped school today too, Donghae doubted that he still was as sick
as yesterday, since he had seen him outside during history class and since he came to his dance
practice at night. Though that didn't surprise Donghae. What did surprise him was that Eunhyuk
came fifteen minutes earlier than he should have, 9:15p.m.
You're early. Donghae said after turning the music he was dancing to off.
Do you mind? was Eunhyuk's reply as he walked over to the CD player and took Donghae's
disk out.
I do have fifteen minutes left.
Eunhyuk ignored the others protest and turned his own music on. Donghae could only sigh as he
walked over to sit behind the older, his back against the wall. Honestly, he didn't mind.
While the dancer was doing what he was best in Donghae considered whether he should ask why
he hadn't been in class today or not. He watched as Eunhyuk lost himself, not paying any
attention to Donghae sitting behind him; matching the beat of the music and his movements
perfectly. No, Donghae thought, he probably shouldn't ask.
Donghae enjoyed sitting there, just watching. But sooner or later time ran out and before he knew
it Eunhyuk stopped and turned the music off. He was about to ask what he was doing, why he
stopped, but he didn't since the question would be more than stupid. Instead, he raised himself
from his position.
Are you hungry? Eunhyuk suddenly asked when changing from his practice shoes to his casual
sneakers.
A little. Donghae replied as he as well started to get ready to leave, by packing down his CDs.
Wanna go and eat something?
The question was unexpected and caught Donghae off guard. He turned around to face the older;
being completely positive that his ears were playing him a prank. You're asking me that? he
asked stupidly.
Eunhyuk could impossibly answer that in a nice way. No. he said. I'm asking everyone else
here except from you, idiot.
Each day that passed Donghae seemed to become a little more immune to Eunhyuk's sarcasm.
So he simply ignored it. It's already 10p.m. he said after shooting a glance to the clock. Isn't
everything closed at this hour?
Does it look like I care? Eunhyuk replied and swung his bag over one shoulder. And I know a
few places that are still open. Are you coming or not? he asked again, this time just waiting for a
reply before leaving.
Donghae looked at the clock again with a bothered look before facing his classmate. We'll get in
trouble if someone sees us.
Never mind then. Eunhyuk said and opened the door to leave. Though he didn't get that far.

Wait!
Eunhyuk chuckled, not minding to turn around.
**
Even though it was dark Eunhyuk was still careful in remembering who he actually was walking
with. Hence he was wearing his famous doctor-like mask, covering his chin, mouth and half his
nose, and covering his head with the hood of his shirt. Donghae didn't mind though, since he
knew it was completely out of character Eunhyuk just asking if he wanted to eat something with
him.
They didn't say a word to each other when walking and strangely enough Donghae didn't find it
awkward, since he was almost getting used to it. Since Donghae had no idea where they were
going he kept his distance two or three steps behind Eunhyuk. But Donghae got a little more
nervous for each step they took. He had no idea where they were going or how expensive the
restaurant would be. Donghae had a limit in what he could spend when it came to eat out, since
he had no expectations of Eunhyuk paying for him.
The place Eunhyuk chose suited them both. It was neither a expensive one with waiters in fancy
uniforms nor McDonald's. After Eunhyuk made sure he didn't know anyone there, they sat down
at an empty table and ordered what they wanted. But when they got their food they still didn't say
a word to each other. The silence didn't die until Donghae decided to break it.
Are you close friends with Leeteuk hyung? he suddenly asked.
Eunhyuk looked up from his bowl of food, his chopsticks pressed against his lips, and Donghae
immediately saw that he clearly disliked Donghae asking that. Donghae's first impulse was to take
it back, but he didn't. How much of a progress would they actually get, if he had to take back
everything Eunhyuk didn't like? Eunhyuk didn't mind answering, but just gave the younger a glare
to warn him before turning his attention to his food again. He took another bite. But Donghae was
stubborn and put his own chopsticks down on the table.
I'm not asking what you think about him or how long you've known him. I'm just asking if you're
close friends. No answer and Donghae had started to get tired of Eunhyuk acting like that.
Really, it was just a simple question. Are you? Donghae asked again and suddenly Eunhyuk
slammed his chopsticks and hands hard on the table, making both their bowls squeak from the
vibrations. Some guests turned to face where the sound came from, before giving the teenagers
a look that told them they were being rude and bad-mannered. Donghae froze.
That's none of your business. Eunhyuk hissed. So stop asking or I'm gonna fucking leave you
here with that empty wallet of yours.
This time, Donghae was the one getting silent. He dropped his head slowly, eyes staring at his
almost untouched food.
Always, always, always people reminded him of how different he was compared to the other
students. That distance, that difference would always be there and people kept repeating it over
and over again; bullying him in school just because he apparently wasn't worth as much as they
were. And of course Eunhyuk wouldn't be an exception.
I just lost my appetite. he said he a low voice before quickly picking up his wallet, leaving
enough bills on the table to pay what he had ordered. Thanks anyway, Eunhyuk shi. He raised

himself from the table, neatly drew his chair up closer to the table, and walked out of the
restaurant.
Eunhyuk, being left alone, just watched as Donghae soon disappeared out of sight. He looked at
the almost complete meal the other had left before leaning forward; his elbows resting on the
table and his fingers massaging his temples. He let out a loud sigh as he drew one hand through
his brown hair. Fuck it, he thought. I don't give a shit.
**
For a moment, Donghae regretted leaving the restaurant. Not because he wanted to go back to
Eunhyuk, but because he didn't know the way back. He cursed himself for getting lost for the
umpteenth time. What was it with him and being outside alone and lost during the night? But at
least this time he had his phone with him. He called the first person who came to mind.
Apparently he wasn't that far away from the school since it only took around ten minutes for
Kibum to get there.
You do know that we're breaking the rules, right? was the first thing Kibum said when
approaching his hyung; both of his hands being in each pocket.
I know, and I'm sorry. I wouldn't have called you if I knew the way back. Really.
Kibum gave him a lazy smile. I'm glad you called me anyway.
Donghae smiled back and hooked his arm around the younger one's.
Do you mind if we take another way back? Kibum asked. A little longer one. The brunette
shook his head and the cool air made him move yet a little closer to his dongsaeng.
They both walked slowly, Donghae still holding onto his long time friend, and did what they
always did; talked a little about everything. And as always, Donghae was the one talking the most
and Kibum didn't mind. Quiet the reversed, he enjoyed it as always. Neither of them talked
about anything important, even though they both seemed to have important things in mind.
Donghae couldn't prevent himself from seeing the difference between Eunhyuk and Kibum. In
Kibum's eyes Donghae was indifferent. He wasn't worth less because he got a scholarship, he
wasn't worth less because his family came from the lower class and he wasn't worth less
because of his sexuality and gender. Kibum liked Donghae because of who he was and he didn't
care about anything else. Eunhyuk wasn't like Kibum.
When they finally arrived to the school, almost twenty-five minutes later, Kibum said something
funny and Donghae laughed, his head meeting the younger one's shoulder while Kibum just
chuckled. That was until they saw another student sitting on the ground, right beside the gate;
looking as if he was waiting. Both males got quiet when seeing Eunhyuk look at them. Kibum
couldn't stop himself from giving the older one a nasty look and as a reply he got a glare. The
happiness in Donghae's disappeared and he walked a little faster, dragging Kibum with him as he
did.
Had he been waiting for him? Even though the thought was nice Donghae didn't dare to think
Eunhyuk had actually been waiting for him. But when he turned around to glance at the dancer
one last time, he saw him getting up and walk towards their dorms, as if he was done waiting

Maybe, just maybe, he actually cared a little.

SM Boarding School
Chapter fifteen
Lee Donghae! Donghae jumped in surprise, the chair legs making a crying sound against the
wooden floor; waking almost the whole class up. Are you listening?
Donghae nodded fast, even though it was obvious for both himself and the teacher that he was
lying. Their Korean teacher was the one Donghae liked the most. He was the one accepting
Donghae from the start, giving him a warm welcome when Donghae first arrived and making sure
Donghae survived their trip to the forest, despite him being paired up with someone like Eunhyuk.
But Donghae liking him as a teacher wasn't enough for Donghae liking the subject.
The teacher smiled a little at him and nodded, which gave Donghae a bad conscience over the
lack of interest in this subject. He continued talking about the famous Korean writers and
Donghae tried his best to keep himself concentrated. And then, when class ended the teacher
asked Donghae to stay a little longer.
How are things going? he asked, when he and Donghae were left alone in their classroom.
Fine.
Are you sure? the teacher asked, disbelief in his voice.
Donghae nodded. Some students are still being a little mean. But it's nothing I can't handle. And
most of the time people are being really nice. His lie made himself almost chuckle out loud.
Especially when thinking about all mornings he woke up, wishing from the bottom of his heart that
he never, even had entered this school. But no matter how awesome the teacher was, Donghae
didn't want him to know.
Good. the older man said and smiled a little. If things get out of hand, tell me and we'll solve
this together with the principal. Donghae nodded, bowed as a thank you and left the classroom,
before the teacher would see through his lie.
When Siwon asked what the teacher wanted Donghae told him, and Siwon sighed at his friend's
dishonesty. But Siwon knew better than anyone else that Donghae refused to let his own
problems bother someone else, and Siwon knew arguing against that would be pointless. The
only thing he could do was to remind him over and over again that he wasn't alone and Donghae
couldn't even express in words how much he appreciated that.
Today Donghae had zero interest in meeting up with Eunhyuk. He wasn't avoiding him, but he
certainly wasn't paying him any attention at all. That was until he, Siwon and a friend of Siwon
were sitting in the corridor. Siwon's friend was rather snobbish, and Donghae tried his hardest to
not show that he slightly disliked the other. But since Donghae was bad in faking friendliness he
decided to just sit quietly and listen to Siwon and the other, without interfering.
He sighed silently to himself, getting a little more bored for each second that passed. But out of
nowhere he suddenly got the feeling of being watched.
He turned his head to where his senses told him the eyes were and saw another group of same
aged males and girls, all of them being in Donghae's class sitting not too far away. He noticed
that the blonde girl who asked to borrow his eraser was sitting there, and she must have sensed
his eyes because she turned her head and their eyes met. Donghae was about to also turn his
head, and pretend he never really looked at her direction, but she was faster and offered him a

perfect smile and waved her hand a little. Even though the situation was rather awkward,
Donghae did the same. Clearly, she wasn't the one who had been watching him, so she turned
his head sooner than Donghae, back to talk to her friends. And then Donghae saw it; another
familiar face in that group.
Eunhyuk, who clearly had been eying him for a while, raised himself from where he was sitting as
soon as he had succeeded in getting Donghae's attention from their weird telepathy. He walked
over to the washroom, nodded his head a little at the restroom's direction, discreetly enough for
others to not realize and Donghae got the point. After Eunhyuk had disappeared inside the white
door, Donghae too raised himself and told his friends he would be right back, before following the
dancer.
Eunhyuk made sure all cubicles were empty, assuring himself that they were alone, before
walking over to open one of them. Donghae walked inside it with Eunhyuk closing and locking it
behind them. When being in safety, freezing out the world outside that tiny space, Eunhyuk dug in
his pockets and took out some bills, the exact amount Donghae had left on the table at the
restaurant before he had left. He stretched his hand and gave the money to Donghae the
younger one raising both his eyebrows in surprise.
Is this your way of apologizing? Donghae asked as he accepted the money.
Apologizing? the other repeated and raised an eyebrow, as if he didn't see how that was
relevant and never had crossed his mind. What do you mean? I'm just returning your money.
Donghae smiled a little and shrugged his shoulders. He didn't need Eunhyuk putting it in words
why he was returning it, because Eunhyuk wouldn't say it anyway. Thanks. he said and put the
money in his uniform pocket.
Eunhyuk didn't reply, but turn his body a little to unlock the door. But he didn't, because he felt
Donghae stopping him by grabbing his hand. Don't leave. Donghae said in a gentle voice, and
Eunhyuk's first impulse was to not turn that sweet voice down.
So instead of leaving, he moved closer; his body making contact with Donghae's body and their
lips almost touching. Donghae could feel the other breathing into his mouth and he closed his
eyes. The fact that they were in a small toilet in the school, which would probably be the most
unromantic place Donghae could think of, didn't matter. Eunhyuk leaned forward yet a little more,
his lips brushing lightly against Donghae's, but when Donghae's tried to press against them and
kiss him Eunhyuk pulled away a bit smirking when Donghae made a small noise of frustration.
But before Donghae had the chance to do another try and press their lips together, someone
opened the main door to the toilet. Eunhyuk slipped his index finger between their lips and
pressed it gently against Donghae's lips; telling him to not make a noise.
They stood in silence, their bodies being so close that Donghae felt as if he would explode. They
listened to when the person entering washed his hands, took some paper and walked out.
Eunhyuk, finding this amusing, smirked again; his finger still preventing their lips from touching.
When he removed his finger Donghae sighed out in relief; thinking that he would finally get the
kiss he was being denied. But Eunhyuk was evil, and just placed a small kiss on the corner of
Donghae's mouth.
Not here. he whispered against the corner of his mouth before unlocking the door. He left,
leaving a shaking and frustrated Donghae behind. Fucking bastard.
**

Hours passed. One hour, two hours, three hours, four hours. And then finally the clock rang.
Since both Kibum and Ryeowook seemed to be eating dinner already and since neither Siwon or
Donghae were in the mood for going out today they decided to make their own dinner. They had
a good time together, since neither of them were really that good in cooking; and they both
laughed at each others and their own failures when trying to cook something properly.
Later that day Donghae had his dance practice again, and this time he didn't get surprised to see
that Eunhyuk was already there. Apparently he didn't mind anymore spending the whole hour with
Donghae, from 9pm to 10pm, instead of splitting the hour to 30 minutes each. But that didn't
surprise Donghae, considering how much Eunhyuk seemed to love dancing. So Donghae didn't
dare thinking that Eunhyuk was there for his sake, because Eunhyuk ignored him, as if he was
being alone in the practice room.
They danced to the same song together, Eunhyuk at the front and Donghae some steps behind
him, and if Eunhyuk noticed Donghae did a mistake he decided to not mind and do his own thing
without caring about the other.
In other words, the hour passed in silence, with only the music making any sound till Eunhyuk
glanced over at the clock on the wall and realize their time was out. Donghae walked over to sit
beside his bag, taking a water bottle out of it and Eunhyuk just sat down in the center on the
room, trying to catch his breathe from his hard practice.
Then, for the first time during that hour, Eunhyuk turned his attention to the brunette. He watched
Donghae drink out of the wet bottle and decided to speak up now, that Donghae wasn't expecting
it. How many guys have you slept with?
Before Donghae even had the time to raise his eyebrow to that random question he chocked with
his water and started coughing violently. Eunhyuk chuckled. What? he asked, after he got his
breath back.
You told me before you weren't a virgin. the dancer replied, still sounding as unmoved as
before. That's why I'm asking how many guys you've slept with.
Uh... Donghae said, feeling both a mix of embarrassment and surprise. A question like that isn't
something you ask out of the blue. Not to mention how personal the subject actually was. One.
Who?
Donghae frowned a little and then, when thinking over the situation, he smiled a little. Are you
jealous?
Curious. Eunhyuk corrected him.
I had a relationship with someone before getting here, for almost a year.
Even though it sounded like jealousy, Donghae couldn't be sure. The fact that Eunhyuk didn't
seem interested at all, made it impossible for Donghae to tell what he was thinking. He seriously
just looked bored. Maybe he really was just asking out of curiosity.
I bet it was with that younger friend of yours. Eunhyuk said and gave him a cocky lazy smile, as
if he was proud over himself for figuring something out. He raised himself from his position and
walked over to pack his things to make himself ready to leave. Too bad for him you're obsessed
with me now.

Donghae had a good mind to snap back at him for bad mouthing both Kibum and himself. But
knowing Eunhyuk like he did he decided to just let the other be. He simply could be a way too
confident idiot sometimes, and Donghae had learned that a long time ago.
Deciding to not even bother himself in trying to figure out Eunhyuk's feelings, Donghae returned
alone to the dorm since Eunhyuk, of course, wouldn't walk back with him. He decided to sleep
early today, and went straight to bed as soon as he got back.
~*~
and as soon as you come home I'll cook your favorite dish for you!
Donghae laughed a little and saw that his laugh had gained Siwon's attention. He shrugged his
shoulders and pointed at the phone, and Siwon just smiled back and nodded. I gotta hang up
now, mom. School starts in about fifteen minutes.
Okay, honey. his mom replied, still being as happy as before despite them hanging up so soon.
Be sure to behave! And study hard and eat properly.
I promise.
Take care, honey. Bye!
Bye.
Talking to both his hyung and mom always made the Donghae's day brighter, no matter what. But
this time he got slightly sad. His mom had constantly repeated how much she missed him and
how much she was looking forward to Donghae's visit home. Donghae didn't have the heart to tell
her that he wouldn't be able to go home anytime soon. School didn't allow him, since he had
started this school later than the other new students, and because the trip home would be
expensive. He himself would not be able to pay for it, and neither would his mom or hyung. At
least not anytime soon. But Donghae kept that to himself and sighed a little sadly to himself as
soon as he hung up. Siwon didn't notice.
Sine Donghae had slept enough this night, nightmareless and totally uninterrupted, he felt both
more alert and happier. Little by little he was starting to get used to things and the nightmares
seemed to be something from the past. He was proud over himself, over managing to get this far
despite some students being total idiots even though Donghae hadn't done anything to them.
**
School today wasn't anything different from all other ordinary school days. Donghae made sure to
stay away from people who didn't want to have him close. But he was lucky, since most students
who were the main people in his bullying had decided to skip school today. Not that Donghae
complained in fact, he felt twice as happy today as yesterday. So the day went, suspiciously
smooth, with Donghae listening during all his lesson, being quiet in class and not getting late. He
couldn't be any more proud of himself.
After school he and Ryeowook since Kibum and Siwon had made other plans with other people
went downtown; Ryeowook shopping some clothes and Donghae just simply enjoying the
younger one's company. And before they knew it, they had spent enough hours outside and made

their way back to the school. When arriving Ryeowook went straight to his and Kibum's room,
saying that he would probably study for a while and then go right to sleep because he was so
tired, and Donghae made his way to his own room where Siwon already had returned.
Even though Siwon and Donghae were good friends and always had a good time together, they
were both bored to death right now. Neither of them had the energy to do anything, and they
ended up on their own beds, Donghae lying on his stomach and trying to read a book, and Siwon
sitting with his back against the wall and trying to read the same book a book their English
teacher had told them to read.
Which page are you on? Donghae asked.
43. Siwon said, and sighed as he turned over the pages of the book fast; reminding himself of
how thick the book actually was. He had at least 300 pages left to read.
Well, you're doing better than me. Donghae said, as he saw Siwon's depressed expression
when looking at the book. I'm on page 24.
Siwon chuckled, even though that wasn't really a comfort to him.
After twenty minutes Donghae closed the book; deciding that he wouldn't open it again for the
rest of the weak. But he still didn't have anything to do for another twenty minutes, till his dance
practice would start. I'm going to make some tea. he said as he raised himself from his bed.
You want some too?
Siwon nodded, even though he didn't really listen to what Donghae was saying since his mind
was totally trying to focus to understand what the weird words in his book meant.

I need to tell you something.

Hm?
Both voices were familiar and Donghae could in a second put faces to them. He stopped walking
and decided that the kitchen was occupied, and the best thing to do was to leave now that the
two males hadn't seen him yet. If there was something in this world he should avoid, it would be
the duo Sungmin and Eunhyuk. But when he suddenly heard his own name being mentioned he
froze.
You know what happened to Lee Donghae? Eunhyuk asked carefully.
Sungmin snorted at that name. Do you honestly think I care?
He got beaten up by the hyungs some weeks ago.
Sungmin got quiet for a moment, and Donghae even took a few steps closer to the kitchen.
Prying was something both his parents had taught him was rude and impolite, but he could
impossibly leave now. What hyungs? Sungmin asked after some seconds.
Heechul hyung's gang.
I knew it. Sungmin said and didn't sound surprised at all. Or I didn't know it, but people started
talking about it when he got back from the nurse's room. It's not the first time, so it doesn't really
surprise anyone. Of course they were gonna beat someone like him.

Eunhyuk didn't reply to that.

Just don't get yourself involved in shit like that, Hyukie. There was a moment of silence, and for
some reason Donghae started to find it hard to breathe. Because you weren't involved, right?
Sungmin asked, suddenly not sounding so confident anymore.
I didn't beat him.
Donghae's heart jumped; from his chest to his throat.
Then what did you do?
I don't know. I didn't do anything. Some guys were kicking and punching him and some guys
were holding that ugly friend of his. I don't know his name, he's one year younger and lives
upstairs.
Donghae reached his hand to touch the wall; feeling like his had was supporting his whole body
weight. His knees started to shake and he felt tears form behind his eyes.
But you didn't do anything?
Of course I didn't do anything.
Sungmin sighed, as if this was not their first time having this conversation. Why do you keep
going with them? he asked. I just don't get what the heck you're thinking sometimes.
Never mind. Eunhyuk replied, and didn't even sound half as angry about Sungmin asking, than
what he did when Donghae asked. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Donghae suddenly
heard steps walking towards the corridor where he was standing. I'm gonna change, it's too hot
here. Eunhyuk said and the moment he finished his sentence he saw that Sungmin and him
weren't the only ones there.
Eunhyuk stopped dead short, as if he had crashed into an invisible wall. He stared at Donghae,
wishing that his mind was playing him a really bad prank, while Donghae stared back at him with
teary eyes. Eunhyuk got a funny feeling, which he couldn't put on words. A punch in his stomach?
A squeeze in his heart? He didn't know. He didn't know whether to call it guilt or something else.
All he knew was that Donghae's broken eyes wouldn't allow him to sleep well tonight. Before he
had the time to say anything Donghae disappeared into his own room. But even if he would have
stayed Eunhyuk knew he wouldn't have said anything, because Sungmin was still in the kitchen
and he would have heard him.
Donghae didn't go to his dance practice that day. He wasn't in the mood for leaving his room, and
Siwon didn't ask more about it when Donghae had responded with a I'm tired. And apparently
Eunhyuk noticed Donghae wasn't there, because ten past nine someone knocked on the door to
Siwon and Donghae's room. Siwon raised himself from his chair at the desk to open, and
Donghae who was lying on his bed turned to watch who the guest was.
Uh... was the first thing Siwon said when realizing who was standing on the other side of their
door, and he turned his head to look at Donghae; eyes asking 'what the heck is he doing here?'.
Donghae didn't reply, but just sat up from his lying position, but Siwon still understood at least
what he himself should do.
I'll bring my cellphone. Siwon said to Donghae; watching as Donghae nodded and raised
himself from his bed, before walking over to grab his phone and then put his shoes on. He gave

the dancer a suspicious look, which Eunhyuk didn't respond since he was too busy thinking over
something to even notice Siwon looking at him, before leaving.
Siwon's absence didn't make Eunhyuk talk. He was still quiet, till Donghae as always spoke
up. You lied to me. he said. You lied to me me right in my face. Eunhyuk didn't say anything.
He found it to be pointless in trying to defend himself. I gave you a chance to be honest with me
and you still lied to me.
As a reply, Eunhyuk shrugged his shoulders a little; not knowing what else to do or say.
Is that all? Donghae asked, Eunhyuk's attitude just making him even more angry and upset.
Don't you have anything to say?
Being scolded by someone like Donghae was growing inside of Eunhyuk like a poison. Not
because he was feeling guilty, but because he couldn't tolerate being scolded by a person like
him. Yet, he knew he had done wrong and tried to keep himself composed. Donghae was in the
right, he was in the wrong.
You don't feel bad over it at all, do you? Donghae asked, his voice lowering as if he was talking
to himself.
Eunhyuk didn't like what he was feeling, because he couldn't understand it. He was being pulled
into two complete different directions; one telling him to punch the rude beggar for trying to
correct him and trying to make him feel bad, and one telling him that he was a complete ass, a
bastard, an idiot. They were both pulling him so hard that Eunhyuk could feel it everywhere; in his
head, chest, brain, heart everywhere. Being desperate to defend himself, he spoke up. Look
he said, and got surprised over how he didn't even have a good hold of his own voice. You're
acting as if we're dating, and we aren't. So stop
What are you talking about? Donghae interrupted him and widened his eyes. This isn't about
dating! his voice started to raise in anger. This is about you being a freaking coward! You're a
freaking coward and you know it.
Eunhyuk's body started to shake, and he fisted both his hands, to somewhat get a hold of himself.
You isolate yourself in that absurd little bubble of yours, thinking that you own the world, but you
know it's all fake. You don't know a shit about anything. You're just a freaking lapdog!
Shut up!
It hurt. It hurt so badly, and Eunhyuk hated himself more than Donghae at the moment for
sounding so pathetic. Fuck you. he screamed back, pointing at Donghae with a shaking finger.
And fuck this. I don't fucking need you, you fucking dog.
But I fucking need you, you bastard!
Eunhyuk's eyes started to water without him knowing the exact reason why. He didn't understand
why he was getting upset in the first place. The door was just right behind him, he could in one
movement turn around and leave. There was no reason for him to get so affected.
And that's what makes me so pathetic. Donghae said, calming down slightly; his vision getting
blurred from tears he refused to let escape. But you know what? he spoke clearly; making sure
that all words that left his mouth were being heard. I'm tired of this.
He remembered what he had said to Eunhyuk when he first had told him that he wasn't there

during the incident. And the dancer had just proved that he wasn't worth it. Donghae wouldn't
waste his time, torture his heart or lose more of his self respect to someone like him. He realized
it's simply wasn't worth it.
I love you, but this is so not worth it. You don't give me anything back and you don't even make
the slightest effort to make me stay with you. So get out of here, because we're finished,
asshole.
Without hesitating Eunhyuk left, slamming the door hard behind him as he did.
Compared to Eunhyuk that never stood by Donghae when he needed it the most, there was
someone who actually did. Someone who picked up his phone no matter at what hour Donghae
called, and someone who always would run over to him if he needed him, no matter what the
distance was.
Are you okay, hyung? Kibum asked as he opened the unlocked door. He had been knocking
three times already and when no one opened he opened the door himself. As soon as he got
Donghae's text message Are you sleeping? If you aren't, can you come down here?, he had put
a shirt on, since he was only dressed in sweatpants, and had walked downstairs.
Donghae was sitting on the floor, his back against the bed; his knees up to his chest and his arm
embracing them. His face was buried between his knees as he shook his head violently to
Kibum's question. Kibum walked over to sit beside him, asking him for the fourth time what
happened?, and as he sat down Donghae immediately moved to hug him tight. He buried his
face between Kibum's neck and shoulder; his body wincing with each sob.
Kibum could feel his skin getting wet from salty tears, and he embraced the other with strong
arms; protecting him from whatever that could harm him.
Eunhyuk wasn't like Kibum.
Kibum turned his head a little, his nose making contact with Donghae's hair and he inhaled;
feeling how that beautiful scent rushed through him; from nose to his toes. The most precious
memories Kibum had; memories from sunny days in Mokpo, were suddenly played right before
his eyes.
I love you. he suddenly whispered and Donghae immediately stopped sobbing.
Donghae raised his head and to meet with the younger one's eyes; this own eyes being red and
swollen. An unknown warmness filled his heart. He didn't saw Kibum, he just heard those words.
Words he had been searching for but never got. He had made the impossible just to hear that;
enduring insults and heartbreaking, still that didn't seem to be enough. But now someone said it,
and the fact that it wasn't Eunhyuk never crossed Donghae's mind. Being lost in fake bliss
Donghae leaned forward and kissed him; lips against lips, eyes closed and arms embracing. No,
Eunhyuk wasn't like Kibum.
SM Boarding School
Chapter sixteen
Realizing what he was doing, Donghae opened his eyes and pulled away, his eyes meeting with
Kibum's confused eyes; confused both because Donghae had kissed him and for pulling away so
suddenly.
I'm sorry. Donghae said and moved a little, to not sit that close to his dongsaeng. Kibum didn't
do anything to stop Donghae from moving.

Don't be. he said instead. It's okay.

Donghae shook his head a little. No, really, I'm sorry. I don't like you that way, Kibum.
There was a silence in the room, and suddenly Donghae felt like the biggest asshole on earth. A
bigger asshole than Eunhyuk, Heechul and all other mini gangsters. He couldn't believe he just
had put himself in a situation were he was being forced to say something like that; hurting his
childhood best friend like that. Suddenly, after Kibum said what he had said, things started to
clear up and Donghae didn't feel like just an asshole then but a dumbass as well.
You're already in love, aren't you? Kibum asked, his voice still low and calmed. Answering was
pointless, Kibum already knew the obvious answer. You're not the type to screw around with
random people. he continued, and Donghae knew Kibum was referring to the mark on his neck.
Are you dating someone?
Every time Donghae had thought about that question, asking himself the same thing, he felt a
sudden pain in his chest. He shook his head.
But you are in love?
A nod.
I can live with that.
What Kibum was suggesting didn't reach Donghae's brain until after some seconds. Suddenly
everything was taking a sudden turn and Donghae was expecting anything but that.
I can't go out with you if I'm not in love with you.
Why not?
The younger one's stubbornness and confident made Donghae speechless. Absurdly enough it
took some moments for him to come up with reasons.
Because! he said as if it was a matter of course which it, to him, also was. He dried the rest of
his tears with the back of his right hand before continuing. It's cruel and wrong and selfish. I don't
even need to tell you the reason, because you alre
Your love is one sided, isn't it? Kibum suddenly said, making Donghae go silent. Then you
know how I feel.
A feeling of being in this situation before crossed Donghae's mind and heart, and it didn't take
long before he understood why. He saw himself as Eunhyuk; the one holding a innocent human
being's heart in his hands. He had over and over asked Eunhyuk about giving him a chance,
asking for a chance to get loved, hoping that in one way or another make the other fall in love
with him.
I'll make you fall in love with me again. Please.
He saw Kibum as himself; the one who was desperate to reach his goal, desperate to be loved
back. Kibum was asking what Donghae had asked for and Donghae was, just like Eunhyuk,
torturing him.
Give me a chance.
Knowing how much he himself had suffered, he couldn't let Kibum feel the same. He nodded.

**
I'm not gonna go after Eunhyuk anymore. Donghae randomly said, and made a surprised Siwon
leave the book aside to give his full attention to Donghae. But Donghae didn't have anything else
to say, so he stayed quiet.
What made you finally realize that he wasn't a good choice? Siwon asked, emphasizing the
word 'finally', as if one of their biggest problems finally was out of the way. Donghae didn't have
an good answer he could give Siwon. He could say Eunhyuk was a liar, a selfish idiot, a snob, a
hypocrite or a fucking psychopath with a multiple personality. But no matter what he said he knew
Siwon already knew what kind of a person Eunhyuk was, and nothing would surprise him. So
there was really no point in even trying to tell him. Instead, he just shrugged his shoulders a little,
and Siwon probably thought the exact same thing Donghae had been thinking. Words weren't
really that necessary.
You know that ex I told you about? Donghae said instead, when Siwon thought they had ended
the conversation and had picked up his book again. Siwon nodded. It's Kibum.
The book in Siwon's hands fell to the bed after he suddenly lost the grip on it. He looked at
Donghae with huge eyes.
He didn't want me to tell anyone because he said it wasn't any of their business. But I think he
was just ashamed.
I didn't know he liked guys. Siwon said, being completely taken off guard.
Apparently no one here knows. Except from us.
Siwon suddenly felt slightly awkward. Not because he knew Kibum liked guys too, but because
he had no idea why Donghae was telling him something so private about Kibum; Kibum being
someone that wasn't even that close of a friend to Siwon. But he knew Donghae had more to say
about the matter than just gossip, so he just sat quietly and waited.
We're back together now.
If the first thing surprised Siwon then he had no idea what to call the second thing Donghae said.
Really, was Donghae trying to give him a heart attack or something? He barely even made a
pause while talking, not giving Siwon time to even take in what he was saying. Being unable to
reply in words, Siwon just raised his right hand; a gesture that clearly said 'stop', to ask Donghae
for some time to think.
Do you like them both? he asked, when he thought himself being attentive enough of what
Donghae was saying.
Kibum is in love with me, but I'm not in love with him. He knows that.
Silence. Donghae obviously needed to explain himself a little better. Kibum is an amazing guy
and we share a past together. If I give him a chance I think I might fall for him again.
But you're not sure.
No, but almost.

Siwon chuckled a little. You can't be 'almost' sure of something like that. Donghae couldn't reply
to that in a sensible way. He is in love with you, right? You're doing something cruel, Donghae
yah. Still no reply from the brunette. You know you can't fall out of love with someone that easily,
nor fall in love with someone. It's not something you decide.
Kibum knows that.
He doesn't, because he's blinded. You're going to hurt him.
I would never do that.
Unconsciously.
Deep inside Donghae knew Siwon was right. Using Kibum in a way like that would be cruel and
selfish, something that a best friend simply can't do.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Donghae sighed as he drew his hands through his soft
hair, his hands grabbing the base of it; as if he was about to pull all his hair off. Maybe he should
simply move back to Mokpo and forget that he ever started this school. That thought was
disturbingly tempting. Even though Siwon would do anything to help him, both of them knew that
he, right now, honestly couldn't do much for his friend. He let go of his hair and threw his head
back, the back of his head hitting the wall. It hurt a little but he didn't care; he could actually need
a hard punch to get his thoughts straight. He did that again; throwing his head back a little and
again hitting the wall. He did that three more times until Siwon asked what the heck he was doing.
~*~
They were back to day one. Those days where Eunhyuk had the top spot on his hate-list. Those
days where Eunhyuk was the reason for Donghae's homesickness. Eunhyuk was pushing him in
the corridors, hard enough for Donghae to get nosebleed once, and bruises all over his arms and
legs. Sungmin was standing beside him the whole time, laughing at whenever they said or did
something to Donghae. Shindong was there too, and some other friends, finding the whole
situation amusing and cheering to whoever decided to be the one pushing the new student. It was
like nothing had ever changed and nothing had ever happened and Donghae didn't know what to
think.
~*~
The next day wasn't any different, and Donghae made it official that yes, things were back to how
they were in the beginning. That was the only thing he was thinking as he was being pressed up
against the wall in the corridor of the boys' dorms. But when Heechul pressed one hand flat on
the wall, right beside Donghae's head, Donghae was too scared to think about anything at all.
Without saying anything Heechul dug his free hand deep in Donghae's pants pocket, while the
ones standing behind the senior just laughed at how close Heechul dared to be. When pulling his
hand up again Heechul held something that made Donghae's heart skip a beat. The skinny leader
opened the brown wallet and carefully examined it. I'm surprised your wallet is so full. he said
and nodded slowly.
Give it back. Donghae said in a low voice; all seven students behind Heechul chuckling at
Donghae's hesitance. Heechul smirked and reached his hand to give the wallet to the closest
person standing right next to him: Eunhyuk.
Having so much money should be uncomfortable for him, don't you think? he asked Eunhyuk
before turning his face back to Donghae with a sneer. So unfamiliar.
Eunhyuk didn't reply. Instead he was focusing on not letting his eyes meet Donghae's, so he had

his eyes switching between looking at the wallet in his hands and his hyung. Take his money
out.
By accident, Eunhyuk happened to lock eyes with Donghae. And as soon as he realized they
were looking at each other, Eunhyuk immediately looked away, down at the wallet again. He did
as he was told; taking the money out and reaching it over to Heechul. Heechul made a face of
disgust.
I don't want that. It's dirty. he said, while the ones standing behind him agreed. Rip it.
Both Eunhyuk and Donghae widened their eyes. Eunhyuk turned to look at Heechul, as if he was
asking Heechul to repeat what he just had, and Heechul complied.
Rip it. he said again.
Trying to ignore those big chocolate brown eyes that were eying him, asking him to please not
listen to his senior, Eunhyuk did as he was told; ripping the few bills in half. And then again and
again, leaving only small pieces of valueless paper. He let them fall down to the floor, still refusing
to look at the younger, even after he was done. The students started laughing loudly, joking and
singing over how pathetic Donghae was and how he could feel a lot more comfortable now with
an empty wallet. Donghae didn't say anything but just crouched down to pick up what Eunhyuk
had ripped before making his way out of the small crowd, receiving pushes on the way out. He
went straight back to his room; locking the door behind him and cursing himself from leaving the
room in the first place.
~*~
After that incident Eunhyuk seemed to avoid Donghae. Perhaps it was the bad conscience over
what he had done yesterday or perhaps he simply had other things in mind. Judging by what had
happened between them Donghae thought that the reason must be bad conscience. They still
had something there. Donghae didn't know whether it was love, hate, attraction or sympathy, but
something was be there. That was what he thought until now. Now, Donghae would say Eunhyuk
simply had other things in mind rather than having a bad conscience.
All students were sitting in the main assembly room; a huge room with high ceiling and crystal
lamps. The students were sitting on each side of the four walls, listening to the principal Lee SooMan, who was standing in the middle, talking about the changes in the school. Though Donghae
stopped listening when seeing Eunhyuk, who was sitting on the row opposite to him. Sungmin
was to his right, obviously not listening to what the principal was saying since his cell phone
seemed to be way more important at the moment, and a unknown girl was sitting to his left a
girl that apparently was a friend to the blonde, Donghae noticed, since they were talking, also
about something way more important that what the man in the centre was saying. The two boys
locked eyes; knowing for sure they were looking at each other even though they had a long
distance between them. Suddenly Eunhyuk smirked, his arm raising and protectively resting over
the girl's shoulders, and she didn't seem to mind at all. But the girl didn't let that distract her from
her chat with the blonde, but just put her small hand on Eunhyuk's thigh. And he didn't seem to
mind at all. Donghae, deciding then and there that Eunhyuk couldn't possibly be more of an ass,
tried his best to not amuse Eunhyuk by giving them his full attention.
But soon the two girls seemed to run out of topic, and after some moments of silence the girl
leaned against Eunhyuk, whispering something in his ear. Eunhyuk smiled and nodded, while
Donghae on the other side of the spacious room saw everything turn red.
I was barely listening. Siwon said as all students made their way out of the room; some students
seemed to be in a hurry since they forced their way through the crowd; hurting one or two other
students on the way.

Same here. Donghae said, cursing under his breath when feeling a guy pushing him hard to
force his way past him.
Yeah, you didn't seem that concentrated.
Donghae pretended he didn't hear that because of how loudly everyone else were being. What
do you want to eat now for dinner? he asked instead, changing the subject.
**
It was Thursday today, which mean that most students were actually obedient about the 10 p.m
rule. Usually this day, Thursday particularly having spent 4 full days in school and still having
one day left till Friday , the students were too tired to revolt. So when Donghae got up to get a
glass of water at 11p.m he didn't get surprised when meeting a dark, empty corridor. He had
troubles sleeping, and after lying in bed for almost 40 minutes straight he had decided to simply
read himself tired. They still had that boring English book that needed to be read.
You got over your so called 'love' pretty damn fast, huh?
Donghae jumped in surprised, almost dropping the glass in his hand. He turned and saw a half
naked brunette, dressed in only baggy sweat pants; leaning against the wall with his arms
crossed. Donghae put the glass in the kitchen sink and sighed; hating the fact that Eunhyuk and
him lived on the same floor, with only a door between their rooms, and had to share kitchen.
With you acting like this it wasn't actually that hard. he said before reaching out for some paper
and dried his hands. He threw the paper in the trash can beside him.
Funny. Eunhyuk said, still not moving from where he was standing. He knew Donghae had to
pass him to get back to his room. Because while still acting like this a specific someone 'fell in
love' with me.
Did you come here to make fun of me?
Yes, I'm actually pretty bored.
Donghae sighed in irritation before making his way towards the corridor. I'm not in the mood for
your bullshit. His heart started to pick up a quicker pace as he got closer to the dancer. He didn't
get surprised when seeing Eunhyuk move a little; completely blocking the way out. He actually
saw that coming. Move. Donghae simply said and stopped dead short.
Why?
Why not?
Eunhyuk smirked. Because I don't want to.
Donghae couldn't stop thinking that this was just what he needed. A immature brat acting like a
child that was born only to irritate and annoy everyone in his way. Great, just plain fucking great.
You picked the wrong day to fuck with me, Eunhyuk Donghae said, and suddenly wasn't that
cute little puppy anymore. He was being honest when saying that he wasn't in the mood for
bullshit. So move before I break your fucking nose.

For a second, Eunhyuk seemed to conciser whether he should listen to the threat or not.
Donghae had never been scary or dangerous before and he doubted that he would actually hurt
him. Deciding that yes, Donghae was too weak for that, Eunhyuk smirked in triumph. I would like
to see you try.
Luckily for Eunhyuk, his dancing skills had given him fast reflexes. Suddenly he was holding
Donghae's knuckles in his left hand, not that far away from his own face. His hand was stinging.
Donghae was going to hit him. He was actually going to hit him. And damn, he wasn't as week as
he seemed to be. Eunhyuk didn't know if he wanted to laugh or not, but something stopped him
from laughing out loud.
You're being serious. was the only thing that slipped out of his mouth, voice filled with surprise
and disbelief.
Pretty damn serious. Donghae said and was about to pull his hand out of Eunhyuk's grip. But
when he did Eunhyuk tightened his grip; preventing Donghae from pulling away. His fingers
suddenly started caressing Donghae's hand; making it impossible for Donghae's tensed hand to
stay tensed. Eunhyuk was fucking with him. Fucking with his mind and playing with his feelings.
He was cruel and brutal, and Donghae couldn't take it.
Stop it he begged in a low voice; hating himself for sounding so pathetic and desperate when
only seconds earlier finding the courage to sound pissed. Eunhyuk chuckled softly, but this time
not in an amused way. He didn't stop.
I thought you liked shit like this. he said in a gentle voice, too gentle for Donghae's liking.
Why are you doing this? the younger of them asked, tears threatening to pour down.
Eunhyuk didn't answer right away. Maybe he was thinking over the answer because he didn't
know, or maybe he was deciding whether it was worth answering or not. Donghae didn't know.
But after some seconds the dancer opened his mouth to speak. I don't know. he said with pure
honesty in his voice.
Staying like that for some moments, their fingers slowly weaving together, neither of them said
anything. They had been standing like that only for some seconds, but for Donghae that was
more than he had asked for.
Are you trying to get back with me? Donghae suddenly asked.
Eunhyuk chuckled again. Don't think that highly about yourself. He let go of Donghae's hand.
Of course not.
Donghae hated himself for ruining the moment, by saying something like that; something that was
pretty stupid to ask considering who he actually was talking to. But then he realized there never
really was 'a moment'. It was all fake.
I don't know why I even asked. As if someone like you would ever answer something like that
honestly.
Eunhyuk frowned a little, being slightly offended over what Donghae just had said, but then he
realized there was no need to care even a little about what Donghae thought.
Let's say, he started instead, as he moved a step closer to Donghae. that I actually want you
back. He took another step and Donghae, being afraid to betray himself and fall like a faithful
lapdog, took a step back. What would you do?

What do you mean?

I mean, what would you do. Would you tell me to fuck off, another step forward; now standing
only inches away from the slightly shorter singer. or would you get back with me? He was
standing close, so close Donghae could feel that familiar scent. So close Donghae could look
right into his eyes; almost looking right into his soul. Behind those cocky and confident eyes
Donghae actually saw a hint of uncertainty. He placed one hand on the dancer's chest and
pushed him away; holding him at arm's length.
I would tell you to go to hell.
You sure of that? Eunhyuk asked, Donghae's hand not stopping him from moving closer
again.Because I don't think you would. Suddenly Donghae felt his hand being pressed between
their chests, and Eunhyuk's mouth ghosting over his ear. I don't think you would tell me to go
anywhere. he whispered into his ear and Donghae felt the need to grab something because his
knees were too weak to keep him straight up. He felt those thick lips stroking his cheek; making
their way towards Donghae's mouth. When feeling them on the corner of his mouth, Eunhyuk
practically breathing into Donghae's mouth, Donghae parted his lips.
I'm with Kibum now. he said in a low voice, but Eunhyuk heard him perfectly and froze; his eyes
immediately loosing focus on Donghae's lips. He pulled away a little to look Donghae in the eyes.
I'm with Kibum now and I want you to leave me alone.
Eunhyuk was still silent; his eyebrows raising slightly in surprise. He looked Donghae right in the
eyes and seeing those dark brown eyes growing disappointment and surprise made Donghae's
heart ache. The dancer pulled away even more, chuckling from his nose.
Good. he said, even though his voice said something else. I suppose you can finally leave me
alone then.
Donghae didn't have time to reply before the older one turned his back to the singer and
disappeared into his room.
Yes, Donghae thought, I suppose I can finally leave you alone then.
SM Boarding School
Chapter seventeen
He didn't need him. He didn't need him. Perhaps he needed someone but not him. He could do
just fine without him. Honestly, he should even feel better by not having that beggar all over him
anymore. But something was missing, and no matter how many times Eunhyuk told his thoughts
to go and fuck themselves, he could feel in his heart that something was missing. He wasn't used
to having someone who actually... cared about him.
Eunhyuk stopped walking, dead short. He raised one eyebrow to himself. What the heck was he
thinking? Of course he had people caring about him, why was he being such a drama queen? He
had his hyungs who had always been there for him. Sure, their taste of humor was rather... odd,
and they didn't give a crap about some people. But that wasn't something that was in Eunhyuk's
way, because they cared about him. He didn't need anyone else except from them. Not Donghae
or someone. Though the hyungs weren't in love with him, something Donghae supposedly was.
Maybe that was what he was missing, someone that cared about him in that way. But now that
didn't matter at all, because Donghae was fake. That bastard had the face to call Eunhyuk a liar
without even taking a look at himself. He was the biggest liar of them all; one day being
completely in love with him and the next screwing someone else. He was a whore and a liar and
just as fake as Eunhyuk himself was.
Eunhyuk sighed. Whatever, he thought and shrugged his shoulders a little to himself, I don't need
anyone. Not the hyungs or that fag. Eunhyuk could do just fine on his own, because he didn't

need anyone.
Eunhyuk-ah!
Eunhyuk turned around to face the one calling his name. It was Heechul. He saw his hyung
beckoning him to get closer. Eunhyuk hesitated for a moment. He didn't need anyone, right? He
could just walk away.
Eunhyuk-ah. Heechul called again, as if Eunhyuk hadn't heard him the fist time. Eunhyuk turned
around completely, facing his hyung and doing as he was told. Maybe he needed the hyungs, he
thought as he made his way towards his senior.
~*~
The students had been working hard and the principal could honestly say he was proud of them.
Whenever he had seen the students perform or during their practices he could easily say that
some of them would become great and successful artists someday. The principal was famous for
scolding them. He was harsh and never let one single mistake escape. Whenever something bad
happened he gathered the whole school in the main assembly room and scold them all. But he
wasn't good at praising his students, which he new they obviously deserved now. That's why he
told all the teachers to tell their class they had done well and that at the end of the week he would
allow the students to have a party in one of the bigger halls where they would usually perform or
practice. But of course he ordered the teachers too add that they shouldn't get too excited; they
shouldn't forget that they were still here to work hard and not have a lazy time.
When the only teacher Donghae actually liked, their Korean teacher, gave them the message
Monday morning each student was taken aback. Their eyes were literally sparkling and the
teacher regretted not waiting to tell them about the party till after the lesson would end, because
he had a hard time making them shut up after the news. But in the crowd of smiling faces and
happy chatter the teacher saw someone who stood out. Donghae was the only one actually
studying and not paying any attention to the other students' excitement. Instead of being proud of
the young boy the teacher got slightly worried.
You doing fine? the teacher asked after approaching the younger.
Yes, just fine. Donghae answered before writing down yet another sentence in his notebook.
Aren't you excited?
The brunet looked up from his notes to look at the older man. He smiled a little. Of course, he
said and turned his attention back to the book. Deciding that he shouldn't nag too much the
teacher nodded and got back to the teacher's desk, telling the students once again to shut up and
study.
You don't want to go, do you? Siwon asked, after the class finally ended. Donghae put the rest
of the books in his backpack before swinging it over one shoulder; waiting for Siwon to be done
packing too. No. he answered honestly.
Come on, it'll be fun! Donghae shrugged his shoulders and started making his way out of the
classroom. He and Siwon and three other students were the only ones left in the classroom.
Come on! Siwon nagged again.
I'll think over it. Donghae said and went against his principles about lying. He knew he wouldn't
think over it because he knew he wouldn't go. But he decided Siwon didn't have to know that now,
as the taller one smiled and nodded.
~*~

Being in school was so much harder now than it had ever been before. The angst and
nervousness Donghae felt when he for the first time entered the school gates was nothing
compared to this. He had so many people to avoid now, including someone in his own class.
Though avoiding Eunhyuk was probably the easiest part because Eunhyuk was apparently trying
to avoid him too. The only thing Donghae had to endure during his lessons where silent mean
comments he heard Eunhyuk's friends (mostly Sungmin) make every once in a while, followed by
some giggles and chuckles. But he could easily survive that, because the idiots in his own class
was probably the smallest problem he had right now.
The real problem was Heechul. Whenever Donghae was alone, which he made sure wasn't often,
he had to double check that neither Heechul or his gang members were there before he could
start walking. And living like that for a whole week straight was both embarrassing and pathetic.
But really, what else could he do?
~*~
It was Thursday, one day left to the famous party and Donghae had managed to avoid the subject
this far. Kibum had asked him about it, Ryeowook had asked him about it and Siwon had asked
him about it and to all three he had said the same thing 'I'll think over it'. And when standing in line
in the school cafeteria, waiting for Siwon to come back from the restroom, yet another person
asked. Donghae heard a coin being dropped and he looked down to see it lying right beside his
left foot. He crouched down to pick it up, turning around to give the coin back to its owner and
recognized the girl behind him immediately.
Here. he said and gave the blonde girl the coin.
Thank you. she said with her soft voice and gave him a bright smile. I didn't notice I dropped it.
Donghae smiled back and shrugged his shoulders a little. Before he could turn around again the
girl spoke up. I'm Jessica. she said and extended her thin hand. Jung Jessica.
I'm Lee Donghae. Donghae said, shook her hand and bowed a little. He noticed that her hand
was warm.
I know. she said and laughed a little. I remember.
It took some time for Donghae to remember his awkward so called 'presentation' the first day he
got here. But he felt happy meeting someone in his class beside Siwon that wasn't a complete
idiot.
Are you coming tomorrow? she suddenly asked.
The question surprised Donghae and before he could answer he had to think over it. If he said no
maybe she would ask why? Maybe she was this curious, nagging type. And it honestly was none
of her business but that's not something you tell a girl you don't even know, especially someone
being interested enough to ask him personally.
Yes. he said and the girl smiled happily.
~*~
Friday. One day left and Donghae could finally stop being so ridiculous when it came to hiding

from his seniors. But today would be easy, because pretty much the whole school would be busy
the whole day with the party coming this evening, planning what seemed to be the most important
things right now; What should I wear? Is he gonna be there too? How can we smuggle alcohol
without the principal finding out?
While sitting alone in the library, pretending to be reading a book, Donghae realized that
Eunhyuk, Heechul and Heechul's dogs weren't the only ones he had tried to avoid these five
days. Kibum was also on that list.
He took his phone out of his pocket; looking through the messages Kibum had sent. Donghae
hadn't even answered to half of those messages and when he had answered he had just put a
simple 'okay' or 'I'm sorry, but I'm a little busy right now'. It wasn't until now he started to realize
exactly what Siwon meant when saying he would hurt Kibum. But being with Kibum wouldn't
necessarily mean Donghae would hurt him. Either he could continue like this, trying to avoid the
younger and really do hurt his feelings, or he could get a hold of himself and actually try to work
this out. He searched for Kibum's number in his contact list before pressing 'call'. It only took a
few seconds before Kibum answered.
What are you doing? Donghae asked.
Nothing. My acting class just ended. Why, you wanna hang out? If happiness could talk it would
sound like Kibum right now.
I'm a little busy right nowm now that sounded familiar. but what about after school? Are you
busy then?
Kibum hesitated for a moment. Yes, he was busy. Eh, no. No, I'm not.
We can always hang out another day. You don't have to
No, no. Kibum interrupted. After school, right? I'll call you then!
They hung up and Donghae wasn't sure of what he was feeling.
But when Siwon said he wouldn't be home during the evening Donghae sure knew exactly what
he was feeling; nervous and awkward. Honestly Donghae had planned to spend the evening with
Kibum in his room, with Siwon 'accidentally' being there too. But now he would end up being
alone with Kibum, something he had not planned. Maybe he could call Ryeowook and ask if he
wanted to hang out with them? Though that would be too obvious and Kibum would know that
something's wrong. No, Donghae thought, either I hurt his feelings or I try to work this out.
*
It had been fun at the beginning. The fear from the inferiors, the girls who surrounded them like a
flock of birds, the famous name he had actually enjoyed it a long time ago. But this was
different from what he was feeling in the start.
So you thought there wouldn't be any consequences in you trying to act all heroic?
Eunhyuk turned his head and closed his eyes hard for every scream that came from the helpless
boy's mouth. He bit his bottom lip to not scream with him.
Is this gonna make you think twice before you tell on us, asshole? a voice Eunhyuk couldn't
recognized hissed. When the reply was nothing but a sob the boy probably didn't even hear him
Eunhyuk heard the kick against the boy's back.

Are you gonna think twice before you tell on us?! another guy repeated the previous one's
question, followed by desperate 'yes's. Heechul, who had been quiet this whole time, Eunhyuk
almost forgot that he even was still there must have stepped in, because suddenly everyone
went quiet, except from the crying boy, and stepped back. Eunhyuk turned his face slowly,
watching the boy lying abandoned on the ground; blood running from his mouth, nose and
forehead. His face was swollen drowning in his own and the other males' spit. His body was
trembling in a way that made Eunhyuk sick, and when Heechul crouched down in front of him the
boy started to shake even more.
We don't like doing this Heechul said in a calm voice and Eunhyuk doubted that the fright made
it possible for the helpless boy to listen. But the boy nodded, fast and desperately begging with
his eyes to be left alone. But you forced us. We can't have rats like you running to mommy and
tell on us.
The boy opened his mouth, blood running down his cheek as he tried to speak. He whispered a
weak and pathetic 'sorry' and Eunhyuk felt like he was about to faint. Heechul smirked and ruffled
the small boy's hair. Good boy. he said before standing up, nodding to his gang; approving that
their task was done earning quiet chuckles from his friends, as everyone started to walk away.
Everyone except from Eunhyuk.
Eunhyuk was shaking just as much as the bleeding boy, his feet not allowing him to leave, his
eyes taking in every sight of what his hyungs had done. He couldn't speak, move, nothing. He
could feel it in his stomach, a pain growing and growing for each second. It started moving, up,
up, up, to his chest and suddenly he was breathing through a drinking straw. He panicked, he
couldn't breathe, and opened his mouth to take in more air, but it didn't help. The boy on the
ground, who for a moment thought that he was alone, sensed Eunhyuk's presence and raised his
head as much as he could. He saw Eunhyuk and his eyes grew in fear. His body, who for a
moment had calmed down, started shaking violently again. He was scared of him.
Please... the boy whispered, tears running down his big, innocent eyes.
Eunhyuk ran and the pain in his chest kept moving upwards, suddenly stopping in his throat and
for a second Eunhyuk thought he was about to cry. That was until he stopped dead short, bend
over and released that lump in his throat. His throat started to sting and a smell of rotten reached
his nose.
*
That was fast. Donghae said after he opened the door.
You told me to come over when I was done. Kibum responded. Donghae nodded, as if Kibum
just said something very interesting. They stood there in silence, Kibum looking a little weirdly at
the still nodding Donghae. Uh, are you gonna invite me in? he said carefully and Donghae, who
had opened the door only enough to stick his head out, moved.
Sorry, come in. he said and walked over to sit on his own bed. Kibum took his shoes off and
walked over to sit beside Donghae on the bed and he couldn't help but notice that Donghae
discreetly moved away a little.
Donghae started thinking about sex.
He and Eunhyuk had sex a couple of weeks after they met when they still only new each others
first name and when Eunhyuk supposedly still thought bad of him. That wasn't how most
relationships worked, was it? Kibum and Donghae were dating now right? and Donghae
couldn't stop thinking that Kibum expected Donghae to have sex with him. Kibum was attractive,
very attractive, but the thought if being intimate with him made Donghae wrinkle his nose. But

they were together now, right? And that's something you just do... when you're together.
Donghae glanced over to Kibum who was nervously playing with his own fingers. Donghae loved
Kibum, really, but right now he just wanted Kibum to leave.
*
Beer didn't taste good. It was bitter and smelled bad. But it got you drunk, and when you're drunk
you're happy. Nothing else mattered. That's what Eunhyuk was thinking right now, as that bitter
liquid flowed down his throat. He was home alone, with brushed teeth, and his dad's beer. The
party would start in two hours and Eunhyuk didn't want to go. But he had to because he was
Eunhyuk, so if he wanted or not didn't matter. He had two hours to drink whatever he could find.
*
You never said if you are coming to the party or not. Kibum suddenly pointed out. They seemed
to have changed roles now; Kibum was the one talking and Donghae was the quiet one.
I don't think so.
Kibum moved, placing one leg on Donghae's bed, to face him. Come on, it'll be fun!
Donghae shrugged his shoulders, eyes focusing on the floor. I would rather say here.
I won't let you. Kibum jumped a little on the bed to gain the older one's attention, and Donghae
couldn't help but smile at how ridiculously cute he looked without even noticing it. There will be
lots of people there. You have been here long enough to have more friends than just me,
Ryeowook and Siwon hyung. Donghae shrugged his shoulders again, but Kibum had already
made his mind. It's not like you can't go back here if it gets boring, right? Give it a shot.
Just the fact that Kibum had talked this much in that little amount of time just to convince him,
was enough. It wouldn't hurt giving it a try. Donghae sighed, Okay. and Kibum smiled.
*
The world was spinning and smiling at him. What hyungs, what Donghae? He laughed a little to
himself when trying to get down the stairs, dropping the bottle he was holding and spilling beer all
over the expensive carpet. Whatever, he thought, the maids could clean it up later anyway. Right
now he would just enjoy his problem-free life.
He was holding a firm grip on the handrail, being completely positive that he would beat the shit
out of himself if he let go. He asked himself how the heck he would manage to get to the school.
But then again, he was problem-free, and he would eventually get there, sooner or later.
*
The music was playing loud; sending vibrations through the floor, Donghae's feet and up to his
head. The pulse of the speakers were strong enough to make Donghae's stomach feel funny.
Yes, he literally felt the music through his whole body.
In Mokpo Donghae had gone to a few parties. The difference was that in Mokpo Donghae had
always been one of the popular guys; with girls whining over how cute he was and guys laughing
over how funny he was. Now no one payed Donghae any attention which was a good thing. He
would rather be forgotten and invisible than the party's jester. Pretty much all students were
under-aged, which meant that alcohol wasn't allowed. Though none of the students seemed to
care at all; a few students had threw up already while the rest were having the time of their lives.

Donghae was holding onto Siwon's arm hard, being completely terrified to lose him in all this
crowd. They clumsily walked through the dance floor, over to where Ryeowook, Kibum and five
other students were sitting one of them being Jung Jessica. The students moved, giving
Donghae and Siwon a place to sit with them, and Donghae unconsciously let Siwon take the seat
beside Kibum.
Two hours passed slowly. Donghae had been asked to dance two times and turned the girls down
both times. Jessica was one of them who had asked him to dance and Donghae, who didn't want
to seem rude, told a blurry story about him hurting his ankle. He hadn't mind telling that to the
other girl, but just said a short and simple no, thanks when she had asked him to dance. Siwon
was gone already, talking to a pretty brunette, and the other boys sitting at the same table were
talking to each other about something Donghae didn't care about.
Since Siwon had moved Donghae and Kibum were now sitting right next to each other but
Donghae didn't mind. He wasn't drunk yet, and probably wouldn't get either, but he wasn't
completely sober. Maybe that was why he didn't find it awkward or uncomfortable having Kibum
that close to him. Kibum, on the other hand, didn't drink anything at all.
You okay? Kibum asked and Donghae just laughed.
You kidding me? he said, feeling slightly offended that Kibum would think he was drunk after just
one beer.
Kibum just shrugged his shoulders. Are you having a good time?
Donghae nodded, not knowing the answer for the question himself. Was he? He was honestly
slightly bored. He turned his head to look at the people who were there and realized he hadn't
seen Eunhyuk during these two hours. He had seen Heechul and Sungmin and some of their
friends all of them being too busy flirting, drinking and dancing to even notice Donghae looking
at them (which of course was a good thing).
You need to use the toilet? Donghae asked. Kibum shook his head and nodded at the direction
where the restroom was, in case Donghae forgot.
**
The restroom was empty and dirty, the supposedly white floor being brown from dirty shoes.
Donghae was surprised to see it being empty all cubicles were unlocked because here was
the only place you could talk without having to scream to make oneself heard. He assumed
people didn't come to the party to talk.
He walked inside one of the cubicles and didn't even mind to lock it. He didn't need to pee, he just
needed some time alone. The music was giving him a head ache and no, Kibum, he was not
having a good time. He sat down on the closed toilet seat; elbows resting on his knees and hands
covering his face.
There was so much to think about, so many feelings that he could swear he would explode one of
these days. After seven minutes he decided that he wasn't doing anything to help himself sitting
alone in the toilet at a party wasn't really the greatest way to cheer yourself up. He took a deep
breath yuck, it smelled bad in here and decided that he for once needed to do something else
instead of... thinking. The exact moment he got up from where he was sitting he heard the main
entrance to the restroom open.

Where are you going?

The voice was familiar a helpful senior with small dimples but that didn't gain Donghae's
attention. He knew from before that Leeteuk would be here. Steps were getting closer and closer
and then just passed: Leeteuk was making sure all cubicles were empty.
Home.
Now, that voice made Donghae stop breathing. He got the feeling that the two talking boys didn't
want him there, and his common sense told him to flush to make the two males' aware of his
presence, while the alcohol was telling him to just stay there quietly and listen. Donghae wasn't
drunk enough to listen only to the alcohol, but another thing gained Donghae's attention
Eunhyuk wasn't feeling very well, his voice was telling Donghae that. Maybe it was all the
alcohol? By experience Donghae knew that alcohol could easily get out of hand when it came to
Eunhyuk.
Hyukjae yah, Leeteuk suddenly said in a low voice are you scared?
Donghae expected Eunhyuk to snap back, insulting his hyung for saying something so ridiculous.
But he didn't.
I just want to go home. Eunhyuk answered, his voice almost shaking.
He was feeling bad, and perhaps it wasn't because of the alcohol. Donghae got a feeling of just
wanting to hug the other; protect him from whatever was scaring him. There was a moment of
silence and not knowing what the expression of the two looked like almost killed the curious
brunet.
Then go home. Leeteuk finally said.
Compared to Eunhyuk Leeteuk wasn't drunk at all. He sounded completely sober. Eunhyuk
chuckled. No. he said and then silence again. Leeteuk must have had a questioning look. No,
Eunhyuk repeated it's not that easy. He was talking funnily, his tongue almost sounding numb.
What do you mean? Of course it is. I'll help you with
No! Eunhyuk yelled, making Leeteuk shut up and Donghae jump in surprise. Stop talking as if
it's that easy. You know it's not, so shut up!. The desperation in his voice gave Donghae
goosebumps. He had never heard him sound like that before, the cool unstoppable Eunhyuk who
did whatever the heck he wanted.
I'm sorry. the older one said and Donghae could hear him walk, probably walking closed to his
dongsaeng. You're making this so much harder for yourself, Hyukjae.
Did you take me here to scold me? Eunhyuk asked, irritation obvious in his voice. Because if
that's the case I'll leave right now. I don't wanna hear it.
Donghae never gave Leeteuk time to reply, because without noticing it he had moved closer and
closer to the door. The floor was slippery and the alcohol made it slightly harder to keep the
balance. But Donghae still got surprised when he suddenly found himself on the floor, on hands
and knees, and four eyes looking at him in surprise. But two of those four eyes quickly switched
from surprised to furious. Before Donghae had time to register that he fell he felt two strong
hands grab the collar of his shirt and lift him up.
What the fuck are you doing here? Eunhyuk hissed, the smell of beer leaving his mouth, and
Donghae's eyes grew in fear.

Hey, hey, calm down. Leeteuk said, his hands grabbing Eunhyuk's to stop him from being too
harsh.
The brown eyes that were staring right into Donghae's own were unfamiliar. They were a beast's
eyes; a beast being only seconds away from killing him. His eyes were bloodshot, red like the
shirt he was holding onto so hard.
You stupid fuck! Why are you always everywhere?! Eunhyuk kept yelling and Donghae was
about to cry from fear.
I-I'm sorry! I-I just heard some noises and I thought... I didn't mean to listen but you were... And I
was...
It's okay. Calm down. Leeteuk interrupted the two and turned to look at Eunhyuk. You too, calm
down.
Eunhyuk's eyes softened a little and he turned his face to look at his hyung. Leeteuk nodded and
Eunhyuk went back to look at the younger one. The oldest was still having one hand on
Eunhyuk's hands while the other moved to the dancer's shoulder. Let go. he said calmly and
Eunhyuk felt himself relax a little. He let go of him and Donghae quickly backed off.
I'll leave now. Donghae said fast and made his way to the door, but Leeteuk stopped him by
placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
How do you two know each other? Leeteuk asked, an attempt to alleviate the tension in the air.
Of course that didn't help. Donghae was still in chock of what just happened and Eunhyuk sighed
annoyingly because Donghae was giving him the responsibility to answer.
We're in the same class.
Leeteuk looked at him suspiciously. The answer wasn't convincing enough. Is that all? he asked
and looked at Donghae, expecting Donghae to be more honest than Eunhyuk.
No, hyung Eunhyuk replied, sarcasm heavy in his voice. He's my fucking wife. He glared at the
two, his classmate and hyung. Of course that's all.
Leeteuk nodded, but still glanced over at Donghae as if he was waiting for Donghae to say
something but Donghae just nodded. His hands were shaking and all he wanted right now was to
get out of there.
I'm gonna leave you two alone. Leeteuk suddenly said. He saw Donghae widen his eyes; asking
him to please not leave, but Leeteuk tapped his shoulder in a supportive manner. He leaned in an
whispered: He's not as dangerous as he looks. Maybe you can talk some sense in him, before
giving Donghae a cheering smile and turn around to face Eunhyuk.
Behave. he said, an it was an order. I'll be outside.
It was obvious that the senior knew something was going on, that Eunhyuk and Donghae weren't
'just classmates'. He left, leaving the two alone for the first time in what had felt forever. Donghae
had calmed down now; understanding that alcohol and an upset Eunhyuk wasn't a good
combination. He turned around to see the dancer looking at a small window behind him.
I'm leaving. Eunhyuk said and walked over to climb up on one of the washbasin, keeping his
balance with one hand against the wall and the other against the big mirror.
Through that? Donghae asked sceptically and pointed at the window, walking a little closer in

case Eunhyuk would fall. Eunhyuk didn't reply but opened it. You're gonna hurt yourself.
Donghae warned, taking yet a few steps closer, but still didn't receive even a single glance from
the dancer.
Miraculously Eunhyuk managed to open the window without falling, wondered a few seconds if he
would fit through the rectangular space, before he decided that yes, he would fit. But before he
made an attempt he finally turned his head and looked down at the younger one. He hesitated for
a moment, opened his mouth and closed it again without a word being said. He inspected him
carefully from head to toes and Donghae just felt even more uncomfortable because he had
no idea what the other was thinking. Suddenly Eunhyuk opened his mouth again.
You coming? he asked.
It took some moments for Donghae to understand what the other was asking. He turned around
to look at the door behind him then back at the small window on the wall. Uh... he said stupidly.
I guess not. Eunhyuk said, not giving Donghae time to add anything to his confusing 'uh', as he
tried to get out without beating himself senseless.
**
The grass was wet when did it start raining? and Eunhyuk cursed loudly when his jeans got
green and brown around his knee area.
A little help? Donghae suggested; one leg dangling outside and the other one still on the sink.
His back was crouched awkwardly as he managed to stick his head out.
No. Eunhyuk simply replied.
Come on! the younger one whined. I think I'm stuck.
Eunhyuk chuckled. He staggered over and grabbed Donghae's ankle with two hands. Donghae
quickly got the point. Wait, wait, wait! he yelled but Eunhyuk showed no mercy as he pulled
Donghae's leg hard, making the younger one fall clumsily. But to Donghae's surprise he didn't get
hurt, because two strong arms saved him from falling directly to the ground. Donghae quickly
noticed that they were being way too close body and face and didn't lose any time in properly
getting up on his own feet and take a few steps backwards. Eunhyuk didn't seem to care, but
Donghae still felt that something got slightly awkward as he pulled away.
So... he said, an attempt to break the ice. What now? Are you going home?
Eunhyuk chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. I'm gonna... either he was thinking over what he
was going to do, or he was simply drunk ...go for a walk. he finally answered, and Donghae
didn't know what to reply, because it didn't sound that inviting. It wasn't till now that Donghae
asked himself why the heck he had decided to follow the dancer.
Oh... Donghae said, not coming up with anything better to say.
Eunhyuk chuckled from his nose, realizing that they both didn't know what the heck they were
doing. Did they just jump out of a small window from the restroom?
You can come if you want. he said and shrugged his shoulders.
A siren in bright red shouted in Donghae's mind. This was bad. What was he doing in the first

place? Why was he here, with Eunhyuk?

I don't... I don't think that's... such a good idea.
It was such a challenge saying something like that; his heart and his brain having a cruel war
between them. The hesitation was, in Donghae's opinion, both obvious and embarrassing.
Eunhyuk nodded understandingly, biting his bottom lip slightly and Donghae got the feeling that it
was his way of preventing to say something he would regret later.
I should probably just go back. Donghae said, mostly to himself rather than to Eunhyuk. He
turned around, but that was all he managed to do before he was being pressed hard against the
wall behind him. He felt Eunhyuk move closer, closer, his hands raising to Donghae's cheeks and
one leg being placed between his own. It was so cold outside but Donghae's body was on fire.
Trying to pull away was useless, Donghae knew that, and he didn't care about his common sense
scolding him badly as he kissed back; tilting his head slightly and moving his lips slowly.
I'm sorry. Eunhyuk whispered between their lips and Donghae asked himself if it was the alcohol
speaking or not. I'm sorry. Their eyes were closed, small clouds of breath being born between
their mouths because of the cold. Fuck, I need you.
Donghae's head started to spin, his knees shaking and he suddenly felt the urge to cry. Why did
he suddenly feel so weak?
It wasn't love. Fuck, it wasn't love. Hyukjae just needed him. Maybe he just wanted to get laid,
maybe he just wanted to have someone that cared about him it didn't matter because all
Hyukjae knew was that he simply just needed him. Donghae didn't fake and Donghae knew him.
He knew him better than Eunhyuk knew himself and despite that he still wanted to be with him.
Donghae cared, Donghae loved and Donghae understood.
I don't... I need you. It was a weak whisper, almost not even audible, but it was still the only
thing Donghae could hear. Hyukjae's cold fingers caressed his face so gently; fingers ghosting
over Donghae's pink cheeks, painting invisible patterns. Donghae tried to speak, tried to do
something, but couldn't. He was lost, gone, not there. He wanted to touch but didn't dare to, he
wanted to run but couldn't.
I... he started into Eunhyuk's mouth; his own mouth clearly acting faster than his brain, because
he had no idea what to say. But that didn't matter because someone interrupted them; a shaking
voice filled with angst and confusion.
Donghae hyung?
Time stood still. For a second Donghae didn't know if his goosebumps was cause because of the
chilly wind, because of Eunhyuk's body being so close to his own, or because of those
disappointed chocolate brown eyes. He felt Eunhyuk's hands fall down and the dancer taking a
few steps back. Suddenly Donghae felt so dirty; hating himself from the bottom of his heart.
I-is.. Is everything alright? Kibum asked, because he had no idea what else to say.
SM Boarding School
Chapter eighteen
It had started to rain. Cold raindrops fell on Donghae's naked arms; he wasn't dressed to be
outside. The hair on his arms were standing at attention, while the hair on his head was glued to
both his forehead and neck. He knew he needed to say something anything but his mind
failed him completely. The rain made it impossible for him to see if Kibum was crying or not.

I should probably just... Kibum said in a calm voice, raising his arm and pointing behind his
shoulder with his thumb; gesturing that he should leave. Without minding to even continue his
sentence he dropped his hand, shrugged his shoulders just a little and walked away.
Kibum, wait. Donghae said, finally managing to say something, but before he could leave
Eunhyuk grabbed his wrist.
The dancer had no idea what he was doing. It's strange how the body sometimes acts without the
brains permission.
Donghae turned around, eyes looking at the hand around his wrist. He looked up at Eunhyuk,
which seemed to be just as surprised as Donghae himself. Donghae shook his head and
Eunhyuk let go.
He watched as Donghae didn't waste any time in catching up with the younger boy; his shoulders
hanging low, eyes fixed on his feet, as he walked slowly. They were too far away for Eunhyuk to
hear what they were saying, he could just watch. Donghae stopped him, his hand on Kibum's
shoulders and he was saying something. Seconds later they both started walking towards the
boys dorm.
Eunhyuk didn't care about Kibum. He could care less if Kibum would rot in the darkness of
sorrow. He probably deserved it. But Donghae cared. Eunhyuk turned around, a river of mixed
emotions rushing through his body. He needed to do something. He crouched down, grabbed a
stone and mumbled a pissed off fuck before throwing it. A squealing sound cracked his ears;
hundreds of small pieces of glass falling to his feet. He looked up, not feeling worried or bad at all
over that huge whole in the window. He drew one hand through his damp hair and cursed again.
They were walking in silence, and they both knew it was Donghae's responsibility to break it. It
was dark, the only source of light being the lamp posts, and it was cold. The rain was slapping
him, as if nature was cursing him for being such a sickening human being. Donghae couldn't do
this to Kibum. He just couldn't. Eunhyuk couldn't be compared to someone like Kibum. It didn't
matter if Eunhyuk actually meant what he had said, Donghae still couldn't be happy. Kibum had
been humiliated and betrayed. Donghae had no right to call Eunhyuk, or anyone else, a jerk or an
asshole anymore. Not after this.
I want to... Donghae started. He didn't know if he meant what he was about to say, but he didn't
have time to think it through. He just knew that Kibum was innocent and had gotten involved in
this without wanting to. I want to make this work. he finally said.
Kibum chuckled a little. No, hyung, you don't.
Way to go, Donghae.
You don't want to make this work.
Kibum was right, Donghae didn't want to make this work. He felt like he was about to cry. What
had he done? Kibum suddenly stopped walking. He turned to face his hyung, eyes starting to get
a little red. Can you... he said, and the soft voice he used to speak broke Donghae's heart. Can
you please leave? I want to be alone.
Kibum, I'm so s
Please?
The fact that Kibum didn't scream at him, punched him, insulted him made Donghae feel like the
most disgusting creature on this earth. He deserved it, he deserved being yelled at and punched
and the fact that Kibum still was treating him with respect was a torture.

Donghae nodded, biting his bottom lip and swallowing to not cry like the pathetic asshole he was.
He watched as Kibum slowly walked away, suddenly drawing his right arm over his eyes and
Donghae hoped from the bottom of his heart that he did that because of the rain and not because
of tears.
**
Eunhyuk was sitting with his back against the wall, knees up to his chest; gathering a small
puddle of water in his cupped hand. He didn't care about his expensive pants being ruined. The
alcohol was slowly, slowly starting to fade away and suddenly he started to get worried over what
was going on. Donghae, Kibum, the hyungs, even that goddamn window. He started to remember
why he wanted to get drunk in the first place.
He looked up when hearing weak splashes of someone walking towards him. He wondered if he
unconsciously had decided not to leave because he hoped Donghae would be back. But then he
realized that no, he had stayed there just because he wanted to be alone and the thought of
Donghae coming back didn't cross him till now; when he was watching Donghae approach him.
Listen, he started when Donghae was standing right in front of him. This was a mistake. he
wasn't looking at Donghae when speaking, but at his cupped hand. We shouldn't ha
Change your mind now, Hyukjae, and I swear I'll kill you. The tone and words surprised
Eunhyuk and he immediately turned to look at the younger one. Change your mind and I'll beat
you so fucking hard you'll crawl back to your hyungs with no teeth, crying like a fucking girl.
Eunhyuk didn't reply but just dried his wet hand on his equally wet shirt, not looking at Donghae
anymore. Do you realize what I've done? No reply. Did you see his face?
Still no reply. Eunhyuk rested his chin on his knees, looking emptily somewhere behind
Donghae's legs. Was he actually feeling sympathy for that rat Kim Kibum?
And for what? Donghae asked and Eunhyuk started to wonder if he was talking to him or
himself. For someone like you? Someone who doesn't even treat me well because of who I am?
Eunhyuk was starting to freeze and he didn't realize till now that the rain had started to calm
down. He raised his head just a little, looking at the gray sky. Everything, the stars, the moon,
were covered by thick clouds.
Do you realize how fucking absurd my choice is?
Yes. Since a long time ago.
I need to know if it's worth it or not.
Eunhyuk wanted to leave. He wanted to get up, push Donghae out of his way and just run. Just
run away, because that worked. That was the only thing that worked when Eunhyuk didn't have
control, when he wasn't the one in charge anymore. Donghae was going to ask that, and he was
going to demand an answer Eunhyuk himself didn't know. But he didn't run.
Do you want to be with me or not?
Moments in silence passed; the rain plopping, the wind whistling; making the leaves dance.
Donghae sighed and Eunhyuk looked at him. He laughed a little sadly. I take that as a no.
The hopelessness in his voice, that anguished sigh Eunhyuk had to do something. I think so.

he said in a low voice, but Donghae heard every word. That was not the answer Donghae
needed.
You think so? he repeated. Eunhyuk didn't mind nodding. You think so? he said once again,
emphasizing that word who was causing him to get even more confused and possibly a little
despaired. Have you even been listening to what the fuck I've been saying? Donghae said,
raising his voice for every word. You think so? a chuckle Thinking so isn't good enough, stupid!
Donghae crouched down, forcing Eunhyuk to look him in the eyes. Either you want or you don't.
Eunhyuk's heart started to race, adrenaline slowly starting to move in his veins. I don't know...
Donghae screamed, a yell of pure anger. Forget about it! he shouted. He got up and kicked the
grass. FUCK!. Eunhyuk jumped slightly in surprise; not expecting the younger one to scream
out like that. How can Donghae asked, walking back and forth, shaking with anger. Why did
He stopped and pointed at Eunhyuk with a shaking finger. You should. He let his hand drop
and tried to kick his anger away once again. FUCK!
Calm down. Eunhyuk said, the fact that he was sounding so composed just making everything
so much worse.
How can you ask me to calm down?! You don't have the right to ask me for anything, you
asshole!
I'm sorry.
Donghae didn't pay any attention to if it was an honest 'I'm sorry' or just a dumb attempt to make
Donghae calm down. Most likely the latter, but it didn't matter. Donghae didn't care. I don't want
your fucking apology. he hissed. It does nothing for me. Finally, he was talking and not yelling.
I want a fucking answer, yes or no.
No answer.
Yes or no! And there the screaming started again. Eunhyuk chuckled at how Donghae was
unable to control himself for just one second. Answer me!
Stop yelling!
Fuck you! Tears started running down the brunet's eyes. Fuck you, Eunhyuk! Fuck you, fuck
you, fuck you!
Eunhyuk sighed and got up and Donghae stopped walking, stopped yelling, stopped waving his
arms like a maniac and stopped kicking things that weren't there. He was breathing heavily,
sweating. He looked at Eunhyuk; eyes red from everything he was feeling; anger, sadness,
disappointment and desperation. Without saying a word the older one stretched his arms out a
little. Donghae swallowed, almost audible. Slowly he started walking towards him. Eunhyuk's
eyes were understanding and sympathetic, but not expressing love. Donghae walked yet a little
closer, finally stepping into the inviting embrace. He hugged Eunhyuk hard, arms around the thin
waist; burying his face in the crook of Eunhyuk's neck. Eunhyuk dropped his arms; not hugging
the younger one back. He didn't figure out of his skin was wet from the rain or from Donghae's
tears. Probably both.
**

Take this one. Donghae said, once again wiping his eyes with his arm. He gave Eunhyuk the
towel before walking over to sit on his own bed. He sobbed for the last time. Eunhyuk didn't mind
thanking him. He took his shirt off and threw it on the floor, drying his wet hair with the white
towel. You're welcome. Donghae said, trying his best to not look at the topless dancer.
Eunhyuk shook his head fast when being done with the towel; some drops flying everywhere in
the room as he did so. He turned his head to the right, watching his masterpiece in the oval mirror
on the wall, and chuckled soundlessly to himself when watching his hair pointing in direction he
had no idea hair could point. Slowly, he walked over to where Donghae was sitting, placing the
towel over the singer's head. Donghae thought feeling the dancer massaging his scalp for a spit
second before letting go, leaving the towel on his head. He sat down beside Donghae, closer
than he usually would have. They were both looking straight before them, not even glancing at
the one beside.
Is Siwon gonna be back soon? Eunhyuk asked. Donghae shook his head the towel falling
down to the floor even though Eunhyuk wasn't watching. But he probably saw it in the corner of
his eye, because he didn't ask again. My hyungs don't like you. Eunhyuk suddenly said, after
what felt like an eternity in silence.
You don't say. Donghae said.
I need them. It hurt hearing Eunhyuk say that, but Donghae was strong enough to not let it
show. That wasn't necessary anyway. I need them more than I need you.
Donghae didn't cry. He had asked for honesty for so long, and that was exactly what he was
getting now. You get what you deserve. Then press your hyungs against the wall and shove your
tongue down their throat.
That was meant to stay in Donghae's mind, but he said it out loud anyway; thinking that the
situation couldn't possibly get any worse than it already was. The comment went in through
Eunhyuk's right ear and out through the left one.
You're not gonna tell anyone about us ever, are you?. Eunhyuk didn't have to answer that. For
how long, Hyukjae?. Donghae turned his head to look at the dancer; the other refusing to look
Donghae in the eyes. Till you get tired of me? Till you find someone else to screw? For how
long?
It's a comfort knowing you're there. Eunhyuk replied, not giving a damn if he was answering
Donghae's question or
not. Backing me up. He hadn't given Donghae one single glance since he sat down beside him.
I don't want to be just a comfort.
It's a start.
There were so many questions and so few answers. A start of what? It was so much, so
complicated, that Donghae got exhausted from just trying to get what the heck was really going
on. But he never got the time to comment or ask or say anything at all, because Eunhyuk moved;
turning his body to face Donghae.
He lift his hand; cupping Donghae's chin and guiding him closer to his own face. Eunhyuk didn't
want to talk about it, Donghae knew. He didn't want to talk about it because he didn't want to think
about it. Fine, Donghae thought, let's not think. He closed his eyes; breathing heavily as he
started to feel Eunhyuk's breath against his lips. He felt Eunhyuk kiss the corner of his mouth,
then his upper lip and then his lower lip; tasting every part of Donghae's mouth. Donghae raised
his arms; his fingers starting to ghost over Hyukjae's naked arms, his shoulders, upper arms,

forearms and hands as Eunhyuk slowly pressed him down on the bed. Eunhyuk himself was still
sitting up, watching Donghae who was lying down on his back. He wondered how Donghae's
hands could be so warm, despite them being outside in the rain for so long. His own hands were
cold.
He sneaked his hands inside Donghae's shirt making Donghae wince and tense his muscles
from the coldness and pulled the shirt over his head; watching as Donghae's unclothed chest
started to move up and down faster and faster. Donghae asked himself if he was going to regret
this, asking himself just how drunk Eunhyuk actually was right now. But he didn't show any signs
of wanting Eunhyuk to stop. Eunhyuk leaned forward, yet a few drops from his hair falling on
Donghae's forehead, and Donghae parted his lips a little more; giving Eunhyuk's tongue free
entrance. Ice cold hands made their way up on Donghae's upper body.
Let's not think.

SM Boarding School
Chapter nineteen
He could simply act like a total asshole. Answering rudely, giving Donghae dirty looks and even
play some pranks on him. And if he felt bad over it (which he didn't understand why he should) he
could just stand behind his hyungs and let them do the job. Even Sungmin would gladly join.
Maybe that way Donghae would leave him alone.
Eunhyuk had to stop himself from chuckling out loud.
How clich.
People always did that in the cheap and uncreative movies where two persons couldn't be
together. For the propose of protecting the other, one would act like a total asshole so the other
one would fall out of love. But they would both just end up being unhappy and incomplete. That's
until the truth would come out and the two would end up falling in love even more with each other
and blah blah blah.
And it wasn't like he hadn't been acting like an asshole already since the first day Donghae got
here and it was proven that hadn't kept Donghae away. But Eunhyuk hadn't been an asshole
because of love, but because Eunhyuk simply was worth a lot more than Donghae. Everyone
agreed with that, Eunhyuk was better than Donghae. The school said so, the teachers said so,
the students said so. It didn't matter that Eunhyuk had bad grades, did illegal things and couldn't
stand up for himself. And it didn't matter that Donghae worked hard, was strong and honest and

did his best in school. Eunhyuk was still better, because everyone here said so.
What are you thinking about?
Eunhyuk turned his head to look at the one speaking. The moonlight was painting the younger
one's naked back in a light sepia; almost making it look like an old photograph. He was so
natural; ruffled damp hair and tired eyes, his arms so thin and lips relaxed. Eunhyuk would have
called him beautiful if it wasn't for Donghae being a guy. Guys can't be beautiful.
Nothing. he said in a low voice.
Donghae turned around, lying on his back now instead of his stomach. He was looking at the
ceiling and after some seconds he sighed silently to himself. Eunhyuk wanted to ask the same
thing, but he didn't because he was busy convincing himself that it's impossible for a guy to be
beautiful. Guys could be cool and handsome, but not beautiful.
What time is it?
Eunhyuk shrugged his shoulders and Donghae pointed at a small table beside the light brown
armchair Eunhyuk was sitting in. A small clock was on the table, showing that it was a little past
1a.m. People should be making their way back soon. Eunhyuk replied, because that was more
relevant then knowing what numbers the clock was showing.
Donghae sat up and pulled the blanket up to his chin to keep himself warm. He looked at
Eunhyuk, who was looking emptily at the table where the clock was. Are you leaving?
No reply. Instead Eunhyuk got up to get dressed; all of his clothes being thrown everywhere
except from the boxers since he already had them on. He realized the clothes were still wet and
cold; the pants being twice as hard to put on than they should. He didn't mind putting on anything
else, not the shirt, socks, accessories or even buttoning his way too tight pants. His room was
close enough anyway.
When being done he slowly walked over to the bed and Donghae had to move to give the dancer
space to sit; trying to not care that his bed was gonna get wet. Eunhyuk sat down; one hand on
his knee and the other one on the bed, almost touching Donghae's left thigh. He eyes were
unfocused, not looking at anything but air. He breathed in and breathed out before turning his
head to look the younger one in the eyes. Suddenly, he leaned forward a little his face
approaching Donghae's but seconds later stopped. His eyes glanced down at Donghae's lips
for a split second. He hesitated and swallowed. He pulled away without having done anything,
back to his previous position. Bye. he said, still looking at the singer, before getting up to pick up
the rest of his clothes and things.
Donghae wanted to stop him, ask him to not leave just yet, but what was the point in that? He
didn't reply to Eunhyuk's low and cold 'bye'.
**
It wasn't Donghae's fault. He would never intentionally hurt him, because he wasn't that kind of
person. Donghae was kind and caring. His mistake had simply been that he couldn't chose who
to fall in love with.
But of course, you can always ask yourself why the fuck Donghae would even say yes to him in
the first place.

No, it wasn't Donghae's fault. Kibum had gotten himself into this knowing that Donghae was in
love with someone else.
But Kibum had been stupid and blind. At that time, when he asked Donghae to be his, the last
thing he needed was someone to keep his eyes closed. Donghae should have slapped him hard;
making Kibum realize that no, Donghae wasn't in love with him and could not be with him.
Donghae hadn't done that. Instead he had seen this as an opportunity, and not for a split second
consider that he was using Kibum. Because that was exactly what he had done; Donghae used
him for his own advantage. He didn't care about Kibum, he cared about not being in love
anymore. If someone else had asked him, other than Kibum, he would still have said yes. That's
how much Kibum meant to him.
His hands were buried in his hair, grabbing his hair hard nails in his scalp. He was breathing
heavily and loudly, eyes red, heart beating fast. He was walking back and forth in his small room;
the steps being fast and hard.
It hurt. It hurt so goddamn much.
Yes, it was all Donghae's fault. Kibum hadn't done anything but showing him love and respect,
still Donghae did something like this. He kicked, letting out his anger in one single motion. The
desk in front of him fell, papers, books, accessories, a clock and other small things crashing into
the floor some things breaking, others not.
Kibum...?
Kibum didn't have to turn around to know who just had entered the room. His hands and knees
were shaking, and the lump in his throat grew for each second.
Are you alright?
What the fuck do you think?! he screamed, turning around and looking at the scared boy behind
him.
Wh-what happened?
Kibum was a jerk, because if someone was innocent in all this, it's Ryeowook. The boy was
clueless, not knowing anything about anything. Kibum took a deep breath a shaking breath
before dropping his hands. He looked at the mess in the room then back at Ryeowook. I'm
sorry. he said. I shouldn't have he realized tears were running down his eyes and he quickly
turned around, facing what look had been caused by an earthquake, instead of looking at his
roommate. I-I'll clean this up.
He heard Ryeowook close the door and lock it before walking towards him. Seconds later he felt
a small hands on his shoulders. Don't worry about it. I'll help you. Ryeowook said and crouched
down to start cleaning everything up. He pretended he didn't know Kibum was crying.
~*~
It was a sunny and warm Monday morning, and usually this cheered all students up. But when
the principal said in the microphone shaking the school through the loudspeakers that they
needed to go to the main assembly room immediately, not even the nice weather meant anything
anymore.
The principal spent forty minutes scolding them, lecturing them about responsibility and dignity.
He was furious and couldn't believe how the students had thanked him for letting them have a
party in the school. The whole room where the party had been smelled like alcohol and a window
in one of the restrooms Eunhyuk tensed his whole body was broken. As punishment the

students would have classes from Monday to Saturday for a whole month. The students groaned,
moaned out loud in complainant and cursed under their breath and Eunhyuk decided to not tell
anyone about the window.
FUCK! Heechul cursed as soon as they got out of the big hall; pushed a smaller boy who
happened to be in his way hard. That man is a fucking sadist. What the fuck is wrong with him?.
The five males didn't answer that question, but just agreed with what Heechul. The skinny senior
turned around, realizing one voice was missing. Where's the little one? he asked, making
everyone else look around.
He stayed with some other guys from his class. someone said and Heechul raised his eyebrows
.
The group decided to wait (on Heechul's order), most of them leaning against the wall with their
arms crossed. After a moment they started to see familiar faces that they knew were in Eunhyuk's
class, and seconds later a really familiar face.
Heechul said something Donghae didn't hear, but Donghae didn't have to hear the exact words to
know what it was about, since the group started laughing and some even pointed at him. Siwon
put a cheerful hand on his friend's shoulder, and they simply walked a little faster; ignoring the
older ones. Almost immediately afterward the one they were waiting for finally appeared.
Eunhyuk ah! Heechul yelled, since the younger one hadn't seen him when walking pass.
Eunhyuk and his three friends Sungmin, Shindong and Junsu stopped walking and turned
around to where the sound came from. You coming?
Eunhyuk turned to his three friends and he saw Sungmin shaking his head just a little. But when
Eunhyuk didn't show any signs of turning his hyungs down Sungmin stepped forward. He's with
us now. he said, in the most challenging voice he dared to use. He turned to his friends behind
him. Let's go.
The three of them started walking Sungmin walking a little extra confidentially but when he
turned around he realized Eunhyuk wasn't following, but just standing there.
What do you think you're doing? Sungmin said, glaring at his roommate, and Shindong even
pulled Sungmin's arm a little, telling him to give up already.
Wifey is angry. Heechul commented, smirking.
I'll call you later, okay? Eunhyuk said and gestured discretely with his head; a way of telling
Sungmin to leave.
Junsu whispered something to Sungmin, a low Let them be. followed by Shindong who kept
pulling his arm. But Sungmin refused to give up. No, you're not. he hissed, and walked over to
the dancer. He grabbed his arm hard and dragged him along with him; Shindong and Junsu
staring at babyface with huge eyes.
The gang started laughing; joking over how Eunhyuk was gonna get spanked by Sungmin when
they got back to the dorm. Well, see you later, Eunhyukie. Heechul said, and Eunhyuk didn't
have to turn around to know he was smirking. He wanted to die out of embarrassment.
**
School ended not that it made the students any happier, considering what the principal had said
and Donghae was helping Siwon pack his books at Siwon's desk.

You read a lot. Donghae commented.

I try.
Suddenly, a loud thunder of books was heard; making both males jump in surprise. They turned
around and Donghae had to stop himself from cursing out loud. His own books were all over the
floor and both Shindong and Sungmin, the guilty ones, were laughing hard. Sungmin crouched
down, grabbed the closest book and ripped three pages of it. Oops. he said innocently and
Shindong laughed even harder. Eunhyuk was standing there too; chuckling a little at his friends
sense of humor before telling them to leave.
They'll never change. Siwon commented, and Donghae felt himself starting to believe that it was
true. Maybe they really would never change.
When they were making their way back to the dorms Donghae felt his heart starting to beat a little
faster. He was nervous. He hadn't seen Kibum today during the whole day, but he most certainly
would in the boys' dorm. He had no idea how to act in front of the younger. Should he try talking
to him? Or maybe he should just act as if nothing had happened? Or maybe Kibum never, ever
wanted to see him again? He thought about calling Ryeowook and ask him how Kibum was
doing. But before calling he realized that was a cowardly thing to do. Ryeowook didn't have
anything to do with it, and Donghae was responsible for his own actions. He had to deal with what
he had caused himself.
Have you seen Kibum today? he asked Siwon as they were walking.
No, why? was the reply.
Donghae shrugged his shoulders. He considered whether he should tell Siwon about what had
happened or not. But in the end he didn't.
Kibum's room was one floor above his own and Donghae spent almost twenty minutes walking up
and down the stairs. He really wanted to talk to Kibum, but he didn't know what to say. He wanted
to see him, but he didn't know if Kibum wanted to. In the end he just sat down on the first step;
sighing loudly and hating himself for being such a stupid coward.
**
You owe me a new book. was the first thing Donghae said when entering the practice room. He
threw his bag on the floor and took his jacket off.
I didn't do anything. Eunhyuk replied unenthusiastically. He was sitting with his back against the
mirror, one knee up to his chest and the other leg stretched out.
Then your stupid asshole-friend owes me a new book.
The dancer shrugged his shoulders. Not my problem. Are you gonna practice or what?
After you leave. I don't feel like even being in the same room as you right now. Donghae hissed;
still being pissed because of earlier today.
I like watching you. Eunhyuk said, and Donghae's frown immediately disappeared.

Whatever. he said and quickly walked over to put the music on; hiding the blush that was
covering his face.

Donghae had dance practice from 9:30p.m to 10p.m. He knew it because Donghae had told him.
It was 9:43p.m now.
It was windy outside and he was freezing because he wasn't wearing a jacket. But a jacket was
the last thing on his mind right now. He walked slowly, almost dragging his feet, hands in his
pockets and eyes looking down. He opened the door to the building and stepped in; immediately
feeling slightly warmer as soon as he closed the door behind him.
He didn't know much about this building, because dancing wasn't something he practiced
regularly. But he could easily see which room was the one, because all lights were turned off
except from one; the one at the far end of the hall. No music was on, so he had to walk slowly to
not be heard.
Do you want some? he heard a familiar voice say, after approaching the door; a voice that made
his heart twist in pain, his jaw tense and his hand fist.

Donghae was sitting down, where Eunhyuk was sitting before, back against the huge mirror,
cross-legged. He hadn't had time to eat dinner because of his homeworks (and walking up and
down the stairs), so he simply brought it here with him. Eunhyuk had just changed from his
practice shoes to his sneakers. He walked a little closed to glance down at Donghae's lunch box;
eggs, rice and some meat.
No. he said, as if it was a stupid thing for Donghae to ask in the first place. It looks weird. I bet
it's bad quality too.
Donghae rolled his eyes, decided to ignore that comment, and took some meat and rice with his
chopsticks. He stretched his hand. Here. he said. Eunhyuk looked at the food, as if he was
thinking over a really important decision; to eat or not to eat. Don't leave me hanging. Donghae
warned and Eunhyuk finally leaned forward.
He parted his lips and Donghae had to raise himself a little from his sitting position to feed the
other. Eunhyuk quickly pulled away; chewing the food slowly.
Weird and bad quality, huh? Donghae challenged and when the reply was a snort, he had to bite
bottom lip to stop himself from laughing out loud.
He took yet another bite from his own food, and suddenly Eunhyuk crouched down in front of him
and leaned forward a little; eyes looking at Donghae's food and Donghae complied his silent
request by giving Eunhyuk yet another bite. Donghae smiled; white teeth showing and eyes
peering and as Eunhyuk kept chewing he thought that okay, maybe some guys can be beautiful.
SM Boarding School
Chapter twenty
It shouldn't matter Donghae was happy now. He deserved to be happy because.
Kibum swallowed loudly.

Why did Donghae deserve to be happy? Why did he deserve to be happy while Kibum was
feeling like this? Wasn't he responsible for all this? Donghae had laughed him in the face;
creating a dream and pretending he didn't know it would never come true. Of course Donghae
knew they would never end up together again. He had lied to him, taking Kibum as a joke. He had
ripped Kibum's heart and soul out mercilessly and still kept pretending like he didn't know this
would happen. Why did someone like him deserve to be happy? Fuck that! This was all
Donghae's fault. Ever since Donghae got into this school Kibum had been one of the few standing
up for him when people, no when Eunhyuk, had bullied him. And for what? A heartbreak?
Humiliation? Betrayal?
Donghae didn't deserve to be happy.
~*~
Summer was about to end. Both young males could clearly feel it now, when they were walking in
a chilly wind and under grey clouds. The uniform wasn't suited for this type of weather and they
were both freezing. Donghae was silently praying that it wouldn't rain.
The whole walk from their dorm to the main building gave Donghae time to update Siwon about
Eunhyuk. Siwon didn't say a word during the whole walk, but kept his role as a silent listener. It
wasn't till they were inside their classroom that Donghae was done telling him everything he had
in mind.
Do you have any idea Siwon asked, gesturing with his hands, widening his eyes and
emphasizing the last two words, what you're doing?
Donghae shook his head, nibbling his bottom lip to prevent himself from speaking before thinking.
Did he really have any idea what he was doing? I'm not sure. he said honestly, sitting down on
his seat. Things are going fine, but Donghae went quiet when Siwon hit his arm with his elbow,
nodding a little at the door's direction.
Eunhyuk, Sungmin and Shindong entered the room loudly; Sungmin talking about the new pink
sweater he bought and Shindong talking about how hungry he was because he hadn't eaten
breakfast. Eunhyuk seemed to be in his own world. Donghae sighed, because Siwon was this
kind of guy who always gave you sincere and good advices no matter what it was about. And
now, of all times, when Donghae was in desperately need for guidance when the three males
interrupted them.
He watched the three of them take their seats; Eunhyuk almost smashing his bag on his desk,
making some students jump in surprise. He pulled the chair out in one motion and sat down; arms
stretched and his forehead against the desk. Sungmin, who was sitting beside him, chuckled and
ruffled his hair Dongahe feeling a weak stab in his heart before taking his books out of his
bag.
The lesson was boring what a surprise and the math teacher never stopped giving Donghae
these looks. He didn't have to verbally call Donghae an idiot, because his eyes spoke for
themselves. At one point Donghae dared to glare back at him and the teacher replied his glare by
asking out loud Do you have a problem, Lee Donghae?. And when Donghae didn't have any
other option than to say no and apologize he caused almost the whole class to giggle. Donghae
sighed silently to himself.
Another week, he thought, You can do it, Hae.
~*~
And yes, believe it or not, Donghae did it. This week went suspiciously good, just like the dance
practices after school. When the week ended Donghae could easily say he was proud of himself.

Sungmin went home this weekend, and Donghae wouldn't have known if it wasn't for him
overhearing Sungmin turning a group of friends down who had asked him to come to a party. But
he didn't manage to hear which time his classmate would leave, so it wasn't until Saturday
evening that Donghae dared to knock on the door leading to the room almost right next to his
own.
No one opened, which didn't surprise Donghae. Eunhyuk usually went out with his friends during
weekends, but it was worth a shot. To be on the safe side he knocked again but couldn't hear any
signs of someone being inside the room. He sighed a little to himself when he suddenly thought
hearing something; a small but still heavy object being dropped.
Hyukjae? he said in a low voice, mouth close to the door, and when he heard steps approaching
he took a few steps backwards.
Why didn't you open? was the first thing Donghae said when seeing the dancer standing in the
doorway.
I thought you were someone else.
Who?
What do you want? Eunhyuk asked instead in a not so pleasant tone, immediately remembering
that he needed to make sure no one was in the corridor except from them.
Sungmin shi won't be here this weekend, right?
Eunhyuk raised one eyebrow. How did you know that?
I heard him talking to some friends.
Once again Eunhyuk looked to both his left and right. He didn't see anyone, but after a few
seconds he heard the main door to the boys' dorm open. He didn't know if it was someone
entering or exiting the building, but that didn't matter. He grabbed Donghae's shirt and harshly
pulled him inside.
You gotta stop knocking on my door. There are other students here except from us two, you
know.
Donghae found a million ways to snap back. Did people even care about who Eunhyuk let in in
his room and not? But instead of trying to 'win' this conversation he decided to ignore it. He
silently watched Eunhyuk walk over to his bed. He laid down on his stomach and grabbed a book
Donghae didn't realize was there till now.
Were you reading? he asked, and the question was too obvious for Eunhyuk to reply. Instead he
moved a little, leaving more space beside him.
Donghae didn't know if he did it unconsciously, maybe he just shifted himself to lie more
comfortably, or if he did it as a gesture of invitation. He looked at the dancer for any inviting signs
but got nothing, not even a single glance. Was he ignoring him?
Gaining enough courage Donghae slowly walked over and sat down beside the dancer. Eunhyuk
didn't protest.
What are you reading?

Eunhyuk moved yet a little closer to the wall. A book. Donghae rolled his eyes.
Honestly they didn't really have anything to talk about, and Donghae started to feel stupid for
coming in the first place without a purpose. He was considering whether he should just stand up,
excuse himself and leave or just sit there quietly like an idiot.
It's the one we got from the English teacher. Eunhyuk suddenly said and Donghae had to think
for a moment before getting what Eunhyuk was talking about.
I still haven't finished it yet. he replied, feeling jealous when realizing Eunhyuk only had a few
pages left.
I'm almost done.
Once again both males went quiet, but Eunhyuk didn't seem too uncomfortable about it like
Donghae seemed.
I can tell you what happens, so you won't have to read it. Eunhyuk said and Donghae raised his
eyebrows in surprise.
Under normal circumstances he would've said no thanks. Donghae was here to learn and he was
old enough to do his own homework. But these weren't normal circumstances because that book
was a living hell a pole right through your brain and it was Eunhyuk offering to help him.
That's why he nodded.
Lie down. Eunhyuk said, and Donghae hesitated a few seconds before doing as he was told,
also laying down on his stomach.
**
Kibum was immature and he knew it. He was immature because he was just a young boy in love.
That was his excuse to why he was feeling like this. That was also his excuse to why he was
having a camera on the desk he was sitting at and newly printed pictures in his hands. The
pictures were taken without a flash and the two males, sitting on the floor in one of the many
practice rooms were without knowledge of the photographer's presence. He slowly put the
pictures in a white envelope and stretched his arm to grab a black marker pen.
What are you doing? he suddenly heard Ryeowook, who came back earlier then planned, ask,
making Kibum flinch and immediately put the envelope in the drawer of his desk.
Nothing. he said in a shaky voice, after having to clear his throat.
Ryeowook kicked his shoes off before walking over to his friend. He placed both his hands on
Kibum's shoulders, massaging him a little, and rested his chin on top of his head. How are you
feeling? he asked concerned.
That question made Kibum freeze. His heart was beating fast and he fist his hands to not show
the other he was shaking. He swallowed. A little better. he replied. He didn't know if he was lying
or not.
**

They were lying beside each other, lying on their back and facing the ceiling. Going through the
book had taken them a little less than ten minutes and now, with the book aside, they were in the
same situation as before; not having anything to talk about. They weren't even touching or looking
at each other, but Donghae still enjoyed it. Without making it obvious he moved just a little closer
so that his arm ended up touching Eunhyuk's arm. Eunhyuk didn't move away.
You talk a lot. Eunhyuk suddenly broke the silence; eyes still on the ceiling. It wasn't an insult
but a statement. Too much sometimes. So much that it even makes me dizzy.
Donghae frowned a little but fought against the feeling of wanting to snap back. He moved so that
he was lying on the side; facing the dancer and using his right hand to support his head.
But you're an honest person.
Eunhyuk was relaxed, Donghae could see it and that made his heart warm because that meant
Eunhyuk was comfortable around him. He nodded a little; not because he agreed but just to show
that he was listening.
The dancer turned his head; eyes looking directly into Donghae's, and Donghae felt his heart skip
a beat. His eyes were soft and pure and innocent, like a little boy who was in the wrong place at
the wrong time, and Donghae felt like he would cross fire and water to protect that little boy.
I'm not like you. he said in a low voice. I don't know how to be honest and talk as much as you
do.
You can learn.
Eunhyuk went quiet, frowned a little at Donghae's fast and childish reply before he chuckled. He
shook his head a little and turned back to look at the white ceiling. We're different.
No, our friends are different.
If it was something Eunhyuk didn't like then it would be to admit he was wrong. At least to
someone like Donghae - it's like letting a dongsaeng scold you. But he couldn't help but think that
maybe Donghae was right. That was until he realized that he had done everything his hyungs had
done. He had done everything they had told him to do, illegal things, bullied people, just like
them. Was he really any different? No, not really.
You're not making any sense.
Yes I am, and you kno
Deciding that he wasn't in the mood for arguing about who was right and who was wrong,
Eunhyuk raised his upper body a little and silenced the younger with his index finger against his
lips. Donghae immediately went quiet, his cheeks getting slightly redder, and Eunhyuk moved his
fingers from Donghae's lips to his own. Shh.
Don't do that. Donghae said under his breath; hating his own skin color for a moment because
when you're pale not one single blush passes unnoticed. Eunhyuk smiled a little to himself,
obviously finding it amusing how easily he could affect the other, before getting back to his lying
position. He placed both his hands behind his head, his elbow touching Donghae's upper part of
his right arm.
I don't love you. he said. I'm not in love with you. I just need you. I don't know why. I guess it
makes me feel safe, because I know I can trust you.

You're talking as if you want me to be your brother or something. You don't have sex with a
brother. Donghae said, and the way he raised his eyebrows and looked at Eunhyuk as if he had
some kind of a weird disease made Eunhyuk chuckle again.
You're such an idiot. he said, and strangely enough it didn't sound like a serious insult to either
one of them.
No, I'm not. I stand out as an idiot because when you talk you don't make any sense at all.
Whatever.
Silence. Donghae asked himself for how long they had been staying like that, in Eunhyuk's bed.
They weren't fighting and there was no tension in the air. It was just the two of them lying in
Eunhyuk's narrow bed, in a small room of a huge building, in a dim light. The world could be
destroyed into a trillion pieces and they wouldn't care. They wouldn't care because while the
world was out there cars hooting their horn, people running back and forth on the street they
were in here, safe and isolated and timeless.
It was almost as if they actually were friends. Almost as if they were a couple, almost as if they
were in love and meant for each other.
I'm scared.
For a split second Donghae stopped breathing and for a split second he wondered if he had
imagined what he just heard. He had always known there was something wrong with Eunhyuk,
ever since the first day. He didn't know why or what or when, he only knew something wasn't
right. But now, hearing Eunhyuk say it out loud, it came as a shock. Why would Eunhyuk be
scared of anything? The students were the ones who were supposed to be scared, not Eunhyuk.
Donghae didn't know what to reply. Comfort him, even though he wasn't crying? Tell him
everything was going to be okay, even after he just said he was scared? He got the feeling
Eunhyuk didn't even expect him to reply anything.
I don't... I'm not really sure what to do. his voice was calm and composed, but Donghae knew
the dancer was anything but calmed and composed in both heart and mind. I don't want your
advice or your protection. he said. I just want you to be there in case something happens.
Donghae swallowed loudly, his mouth getting dry. He never found the courage to ask what
Eunhyuk meant.
~*~
Did you miss me? Sungmin asked, a huge smile pasted on his face, as soon as Eunhyuk
opened the door.
Barely. Why did you knock? You have the keys.
Sungmin pouted, giving his two bags to Eunhyuk because he didn't want to carry them himself. I
missed you too he said and stepped in. It was nice meeting my parents and brother and all, but
jeez, so boring.
Eunhyuk chuckled silently and left the bags on Sungmin's bed before walking over to sit on the
small, dark blue couch and turn his attention back to the music show at the TV screen.
What have you been up to? he asked after taking off his outdoor clothes and started to unpack.

Nothing. I've studied.

Aw, such a good boy. Sungmin said in a high pitched voice, which made Eunhyuk frown in
disgust.
That's for you. he said instead and pointed at Sungmin's desk without even minding to look.
A white envelope was waiting for him there, with nothing but "Lee Sungmin" written on it.
What's that?
An elephant.
Very funny. It's must be from someone in the school.
Eunhyuk turned his head to look at his roommate, who was holding up the envelope so he could
see. It only has my name on, no address.
Eunhyuk shrugged his shoulders and raised one eyebrow, eyes asking so? and Sungmin stuck
his tongue out to his friend for his lack of interest before he opened the envelope.
I bet it's a love letter. he said and smiled cockily.
Who would write you a love letter?
Sungmin chuckled challenging. I could name you twenty people straight off, honey.
The letter itself wasn't what gained Eunhyuk's attention - it was Sungmin's sudden silence. And
even though Eunhyuk had decided he wouldn't even pretend to care what the letter was about,
curiosity took over. He turned around, his chin resting over the backrest of the couch. And? he
asked, but got no reply.
Sungmin was looking at what he was holding with confused eyes, his mouth slightly open in
shock and his face pale.
Sungmin ah? Eunhyuk got no reply, but he didn't need one to know something wasn't right.
What's wrong? he asked, afraid that his friend might have gotten bad news or something like
that.
Slowly Sungmin raised his head to face the dancer. What the fuck is this? he asked in a whisper
and held up one of the three pictures for Eunhyuk to see.
Hyukjae felt his heart stop at the sight of himself and Donghae.
SM Boarding School
Chapter twenty-one, part one
What the fuck is this?! Sungmin asked again, this time raising his voice; the hand he was
holding the picture in was shaking.
What do you answer to something like that? 'That's not me', 'it's not what it looks like'?. Eunhyuk
didn't know. He didn't know because it was him on the pictures and it was exactly what it looked
like.
Sungmin threw the pictures on the floor as if just touching them was something he couldn't stand.

The pictures fell to Eunhyuk's feet, but Eunhyuk didn't have the courage to look at them.
What the fuck are you doing?! Sungmin yelled. Are you fucking out of your mind?! Tears
started forming in his eyes, his face getting red from anger and his voice was shaking. He was
scared, mouth open in disbelief and eyes wide open, and Eunhyuk knew why. What the fuck do
you think the hyungs will do when they find out?!
Sungmin looked down at the pictures, hands running through his light brown hair, grabbing his
hair hard. His bottom lip was shaking and Eunhyuk knew it was because he was holding in his
tears.
They won't Eunhyuk started but didn't have time to finish before Sungmin was suddenly
standing right in front of him; raising his hands and slapping his roommate.
Are you fucking stupid?! Someone knows about this! he screamed, his voice cracking.
Eunhyuk's cheek went red in a split second, his head turned to the side. He closed his eyes,
swallowed and tried to remain calm before slowly turning to face his friend. Sungmin was crying.
You fucking disgust me. Sungmin whispered before almost running out of the room; slamming
the door behind him so hard that he almost made a crack in the wall.
Sungmin stayed in a friend's room that night. Eunhyuk had an idea where, probably in Shindong's
room, but he never went there to verify it. He tried calling him two times and of course Sungmin
didn't pick up. In the end he left him a message, Call me whenever you feel like talking, and
waited for a reply that never came.
~*~
Sungmin didn't come to school the next day, neither did Shindong, and Eunhyuk felt a heavy
weight in his chest. Sungmin didn't tell Shindong, right?
No, he couldn't have, he wasn't that type of person.
But even if Sungmin didn't say anything someone else would. Like Sungmin had said, someone
knew. Someone in this school had Eunhyuk dancing on a wire over a sea of crocodiles, and it
would only take a weak puff of air to for him to fall.
He spent his whole lesson in angst, taking deep breaths because he could swear he would faint if
he didn't. It was hard breathing and it hurt and he was sweating. His heart was beating fast and
the teacher's words were just unclear and blurred, not really an actual language.
He heard his name being called and with a jolt he came back to reality. Judging by the way the
whole class was staring at him in surprise, and by the way the teacher was looking at him he
realized the teacher must have called his name more than once. He had to clear his throat to
answer, because suddenly it was painfully dry.
Yes? he asked, and he felt everyone's eyes pierce right through him.
Their Korean teacher looked concerned rather than angry. Are you alright?
How embarrassing. Eunhyuk swallowed and nodded, the teacher asking him to pay attention and

he just kept nodding.

Hey, you okay? Donghae heard one of Eunhyuk's friends ask after the teacher had left the
room. Their class had just ended, but only a few students had left since most of them were
packing their books and pencils. Donghae turned his head discreetly and saw Eunhyuk nod. He
was lying.
I need to return some books in the library. Siwon suddenly said, gaining Donghae's attention.
You coming?
Donghae nodded. Before leaving the classroom he glanced over to Eunhyuk once again and
made it just in time to see the dancer drop his bag; everything he had inside falling to the floor,
making a big mess. Eunhyuk's friend asked him once again if he really was okay, but didn't get
an answer.
**
Eunhyuk didn't pay attention to his surroundings. Suddenly he just found himself sitting with
Heechul and his friends outside at a outdoor table. His heart started to beat faster than before
when realizing he was with the hyungs and he was blinking more than he should.
He was just waiting for it, waiting for anyone to say something about Donghae and start the war.
He felt like they were watching him, were they waiting for him to say something?, whispering
when he turned his head and laughing behind his back.
Maybe telling Heechul himself would be better than letting someone else tell him. That way
Eunhyuk could twist and paint the story however he liked, and not make it sound as bad as it
actually was. But that thought lasted only for a few couple of seconds, if even that, because
Eunhyuk knew he would rather die than tell Heechul.
At the end of the day no one had said or done anything, but the fact that nothing happened didn't
make things better. Because Eunhyuk knew something was going to happen someone would
drop the bomb any second and he was just waiting. No matter how many minutes, hours, days,
weeks would pass Eunhyuk knew that someday it was going to happen. How long had this
person known about Donghae and him? Weeks? Days? Minutes?
Steps downstairs brought Eunhyuk back to reality and he even had to look around to see where
he was: the kitchen in the boys' dorm when the hell did he get here? He was standing in front of
the kitchen sink, hold a full glass of water in his hand and the tap was still on. He realized he
couldn't go on like this seriously, what the fuck is wrong with him? and he put his hand under
the cold water before stroking it over his face. He sighed and turned the tap off before, by habit,
turning his face to his right to the corridor to see who the one entering the building was.
A male slightly shorter than himself, brown hair and a year younger, had just finished walking up
the stairs. Eunhyuk didn't mind looking at him longer than necessarily before turning his attention
back to the glass in his hand. However, Kibum lingered his eyes on the dancer.
Eunhyuk didn't see how Kibum took a few steps at his direction before opening his mouth to
speak. It's true that people get what they don't deserve. Kibum said and Eunhyuk froze. He
slowly turned his head again, this time with shocked eyes and in contrast to earlier today he felt
like his heart suddenly forgot to beat. Or maybe you two do deserve each other.

Forgotten and lost puzzle pieces suddenly got into place and for a spit second Eunhyuk got weak,
so weak, and the glass in his hand fell into the kitchen sink with a loud thud; water splashing and
wetting his hands.
That fucker.
He walked towards him, faster than it took for Kibum to realize what was going to happen, tensed
his muscles and punched. Kibum crashed onto the floor, his teeth sinking deep into the inside of
the coner of his mouth. He touched where Eunhyuk had pushed him with three shaking fingers,
all fingers being red when he looked at them again. Before he could stand up again Eunhyuk
hissed, You fucking asshole!, before kicking the younger one and Kibum tensed all his muscles
to not scream out in pain.
Stop it! Kibum heard someone behind him before Eunhyuk had time to kick him again. He didn't
have to turn his head to know who it was. But Eunhyuk ignored the yell and kicked the small of
Kibum's leg hard, possibly with all the strength he managed to gather that short amount of time,
and this time Kibum cried out in pain.
What are you doing?! Stop it! Donghae screamed again, running as fast as his legs allowed him
to and pushed Eunhyuk away hard.
You don't get it! Eunhyuk yelled back and Donghae had to grab his shoulders to stop him from
attacking the younger male on the floor. This motherfucker
I don't care! Donghae cut him off and pushed Eunhyuk away once again. You won't touch him.
Eunhyuk looked at him, for a moment turning his anger from Kibum to Donghae for interfering.
But Donghae responded his look with a straight face; his eyes warning Eunhyuk, daring him to
touch the boy behind him again, and Eunhyuk knew he had to calm down. He was breathing
heavily through his nostrils as he took a few steps back.
Kibum, on the other hand, wasn't breathing at all. Suddenly, he felt disgusted. Not by Eunhyuk
the famous asshole, not by Donghae the fake friend, but by himself.
Donghae wasn't selfish. He wasn't mean or a bad friend. He had never been selfish or mean or a
bad friend. Donghae was just stupid. And he was stupid because he was in love.
What did Kibum want? What had been his point on all this? He knew Donghae would never leave
him behind, because they were friends. They had always been friends; they shared a past,
memories, a future, but Kibum's obsession had made him blind. He knew Donghae was faithful;
he wouldn't leave Eunhyuk till he himself decided to. No matter what Kibum did, he couldn't
separate them. He knew it from the start, and it hurt so much. It hurt so much he had thought that
Donghae deserved to suffer too.
But Donghae was suffering. He was suffering because of Eunhyuk, Kibum, the students... Kibum
wanted Donghae to love him and that's exactly what Donghae did. He loved Kibum. He would
never deny him as a friend, no matter if Eunhyuk was his new love or someone else. What more
could Kibum ask from him?
I'm so sorry. he said in a whisper, but both Eunhyuk and Donghae heard every word. The lump
in his throat was making his voice shake I'm so sorry.
Donghae kneel in front of him, eyes looking into Kibum's teary eyes.
Yes, Donghae would always be there. He would never leave him.

I'm so sorry. he repeated again, and Donghae felt himself wanting to cry too.
He leaned forward and embraced Kibum by his neck, hugging him tightly. He felt Kibum bury his
face on his shoulder, tears wetting his shirt. He raised his arms, grabbing the back of Donghae's
shirt tightly as he cried silently. Nothing is your fault. Donghae said into his ear and Kibum
sobbed loudly. I'm sorry.
Kibum was the first one to pull away, completely embarrassed over what just happened but
Donghae was smiling at him. When he looked up he saw Eunhyuk look at him with eyes Kibum
couldn't read.
The dancer turned his look at Donghae, as if Donghae was the one who was supposed to break
the silence or do something. But Donghae wasn't helping him he wasn't even looking at him
because he was busy wiping Kibum's lip with the sleeve of his shirt.
Slowly Eunhyuk took a couple of steps forwards and when he was close enough he stretched out
his hand. Kibum's look immediately turned into a surprised one and when Donghae saw it he
turned his head to see what it was. He couldn't believe it when seeing Eunhyuk stand behind him,
his hand opened and waiting for Kibum to grab it. The younger one hesitated for a moment but
finally gave in and accepted Hyukjae's hand and Donghae felt a warmness being spread in his
body as Eunhyuk pulled Kibum up; a warmness telling him that it wasn't over, everything could
have a happy ending.
**
It was evening and the corridor outside was completely deserted. Donghae asked himself what
everyone were doing; usually he could hear at least a few students make a huge fuss just outside
or in the kitchen, but now it was so quiet. But at this moment Donghae couldn't mind caring.
He was sitting on Eunhyuk's bed, back against the wall, and Eunhyuk's head in his lap. His left
hand was running through Eunhyuk's soft hair, massaging his scalp while the other arm was lying
across Eunhyuk's chest, his hand over Eunhyuk's heart.
He let his fingers move on Eunhyuk's chest; slowly going up and down as the dancer breathed
through his nose. Eunhyuk's eyes were unfocused; looking at nothing but air, his legs bent on the
knee both his feet on the bed and while he had one hand behind his head he had the other
one on his stomach, close to Donghae's arm but not touching it. They hadn't said a word to each
other. Usually Donghae would talk about whatever came to mind, just to not have that awkward
silence, but he knew Eunhyuk preferred silence than Donghae talking about things Eunhyuk didn't
give a shit about. But another reason to why Donghae didn't say anything was because he knew
Eunhyuk was thinking over something. He could see it.
Five minutes passed in silence, six, seven, eight.
People don't care about each other. Eunhyuk suddenly said, breaking the peaceful silence.
They want you to listen to their problems, help them, love them. But they don't want to listen,
help, or love you back.
Your family
What makes them any different? Eunhyuk cut him off before even letting Donghae finish his
sentence. They're humans, just like me, you, and everyone else. It doesn't make sense that they

would be worth more just because they have a title, 'mom', 'dad', 'sister', 'friend'. Your parents
raise you because it's their job, something society tells them to do, and your friends hang out with
you just because they're scared of loneliness. In the end they're just people. What makes them
any different?
Donghae didn't understand where Eunhyuk wanted to come with this. All he did understand was
that Eunhyuk apparently didn't believe in love. It's not the their title that makes them worth any
more. It's the bond you have with them. I would die to protect any member of my family. That's
how much they are worth to me.
What makes your family different from any other family? Would you kill another family, father,
mother and kids, to save your own?
You can't put it like that.
Why not?
This is nothing you can explain with words. You can't explain love for friends or your family. It's
not something you can see or touch, but just feel. And by that feeling I know I love my family and
my family knows they love me.
That's not enough.
That's everything.
Eunhyuk went silent but Donghae knew it wasn't because he had convinced the dancer. He didn't
know what else to say, how else to explain that Eunhyuk was wrong. People did care.
I care. he said instead.
Yeah, but you're stupid. It didn't sound as an insult because the sentence was lacking of
cockiness and superiority but yeah, it was still an insult and that made Donghae frown; for a
second forgetting that Eunhyuk was trying to explain something. You are too nice for your own
good. Eunhyuk continued. Which makes you stupid.
Uh, thanks?
It's not a compliment.
Eunhyuk removed Donghae's hand from his chest before getting up. He turned so he was facing
Donghae. Why would you be sitting here right now, with the way I've been treating you ever
since the first day?
I'm not here because I'm nice. Donghae said and raised an eyebrow.
Then why?
Because I love you.
Eunhyuk couldn't retort to that. The corner of his mouth twitched as he tried to suppress a smile,
and he bit the inside of his bottom lip to keep his straight face. How cheesy.
He sighed heavily. He didn't know how many times Donghae had said he loved him. And he didn't
know how many times Donghae had showed that he loved him. He deserved something back.
Eunhyuk knew he did but, God, it was so hard. He didn't know where to start.
I was a nobody when I started this school. he finally said and Donghae felt his body tense
because he knew he would finally hear what he had waited for. Questions he had for so long

were about to be answered, and it was so sudden he didn't know what do to or say. No one
bullied me because they didn't even notice me. I had good grades, I was quiet and I did what I
was told to do.
He had to pause because he didn't know how to continue. He ran his hand through his hair, for a
moment breaking their eye contact.
You don't understand. he finally said after a moment of silence, eyes back to Donghae.
Heechul hyung has power. People are afraid of him and people were afraid of me too. With him I
could do whatever I wanted without having to care about the consequences. Everyone knew who
we were... They were all so pathetic, trying to get along with us, to kiss our ass, just because they
were scared. I thought it was funny watching them act like that, as if I had never done it myself.
He had to pause again because he had never said this out loud before. He felt like he was seeing
with other eyes, talking about someone else and not himself, because it was just so unfamiliar
and strange. I liked it. he said and Donghae heard how his voice started to shake. I liked it
because... He looked down at his hands and realized they were tightly clasped together. He
couldn't finish that sentence.
But everything is just so fucked up now. It has always been, I just didn't wanted to see it. We did
so many things... Hurt so many people... His teary eyes were slowly turning red from the effort of
keeping the tears in. He quickly ran his hands over them to not let it show, but Donghae saw it
clearly. I'm already in this shit and I don't know how to get out.
Once again he had to dry his eyes with his hands because the tears wouldn't stop, and they were
dangerously close to shed. It was gradually getting harder and harder to talk and he had to pause
yet again. He took a silent deep breath. I thought that... maybe if I just died I would get out of
this. I thought about... I told myself that I was pathetic for not saying no and for being so scared.
And I tried to pretend as if everything was fine, as if I wanted to be with them to not think about it.
He had to sob once and clear his throat before he could continue. I'm not a guy with a dark past.
I've got my noona, my parents and I've got money. We've had problems and fought like all other
families on this earth. He shrugged his shoulders a little. I just... I just saw the opportunity of
being someone, and I took it.
This moment was so weird. The one who never talked was talking, the one who never cried was
crying. Donghae couldn't even look at him because he himself was also on the edge to burst into
tears.
I'm scared. Eunhyuk said. I'm so fucking scared it's ridiculous.
It's not.
Yes, it is. And you know it. Everyone else knows it that's why I can't talk to anyone.
The silence now wasn't like the silent moments they had before, where they could just lie down
and enjoy the feeling of not being alone; enjoy the fact that they both knew something was there
even though they didn't say it out loud. But this wasn't like that. Donghae felt like he had to say
something, help Eunhyuk with everything he could. But what was there to say?
He moved closer to Eunhyuk, closer, closer, till he could lean his head and rest it over the
dancer's shoulder. Eunhyuk didn't react and Donghae didn't expected him to either. He never did,
he was always just the passive one. That was why Donghae felt his heart beat faster when he felt
Eunhyuk lean his head too, his head making contact with Donghae's head.
Don't hang out with them. Donghae said in a low voice, even thought he knew that was a

useless thing to say.

You don't know them. I can't just leave. Do you know how many they are? I'm just one.
Two.
Donghae felt Eunhyuk chuckle, and judging by his voice he could tell older one was starting to
calm down.
Suddenly something crossed Donghae's mind, and that thought made Donghae's whole body
tense. He told himself that no, he was crazy for thinking this beacause it wasn't possible. But what
if? He would never know if he didn't ask.
Slowly he raised his head and looked at Eunhyuk and Eunhyuk looked back at him. He had to
swallow before being able to speak. Why are you telling me this now? he asked. He didn't get
an answer right away and he saw Eunhyuk hesitate. Donghae knew he shouldn't push the other,
but he couldn't wait. He had to know. There must be a reason... to why you're telling me this
now. he said, eyes looking into eyes, but Eunhyuk still didn't say anything. Do you love me?
Donghae finally asked, his heart stopping for a moment. Are you telling me this because you
love me?
The world was suddenly moving slowly, so slowly; the second hand on a clock moving in slow
motion. The silence, the fact that Eunhyuk didn't respond, was killing Donghae and he could
almost hear his own pulse, heartbeat picking up a quicker pace.
Yeah.
He said it. He actually said it.
Oh God, he said it.
Everything Donghae had fought for, everything he had waited for...
There had been a million things that brought them to this point. Their first meeting, the bullying,
the uncertainty... How many times hadn't Donghae thought about stopping, telling himself it
wasn't worth it because Eunhyuk wouldn't change. He had cried, he had hoped, loved, waited. All
those days of longing... He had finally done it.
It had been rough, horrible and lonely because Donghae had been fighting for this all by himself.
That was what got him to this point; his strenght, his stubbornness and his love. And now, he
finally did it. Eunhyuk loved him.
Donghae couldn't hold back and cried. He cried with so many emotions; eyes closed shut and
both his hands covering his mouth and nose. Tears were running down to his hands but he didn't
even feel it. Eunhyuk chuckled and hugged him, arms embracing him and pulling him close his
head against Donghae's head.
Stop being such a girl. he said in a low voice, in the sweetest voice Donghae had ever heard
and that only made him cry more.
SM Boarding School
Chapter twenty-one, part two
PE had been one of Donghae's favorite classes in Mokpo. But Mokpo was Mokpo. In the school
there he had had lots of friends and he had a good time in almost all classes. This was different.
Oh yes, this was different.
Donghae had always liked soccer, in fact there was a time when he even thought about being a

professional soccer player when he grew up. But what he was playing now wasn't soccer. No, this
was shoot the ball at the poor guy. Almost the whole class was about Donghae keeping himself
at a good distance from the ball, because if the wrong person had the ball Donghae had to make
sure he was far, far away. In the middle of the game, when he was doing nothing but running
back and forth on the soccer field, he even thought about going to the teacher and pretend to
have hurt his ankle just so he could get away from this. But in the end he didn't because the guys
in his class didn't even give Donghae a change to approach the teacher.
He was breathing heavily, his thighs were burning and he could feel almost hear his heart
beat so clearly he was scared it would explode. Sweat was running down from his forehead and
neck and he bend over, hands on each knee, as he tried to catch his breath.
You okay? he heard Siwon ask, not even half as tired or half as sweaty as Donghae was. Then
again Siwon didn't have to constantly watch over his shoulder to make sure he wouldn't get a
ball in his face. Unable to reply in words Donghae just nodded.
**
Finally the teacher gave them a break and Donghae's legs were shaking so much he had to
support himself on Siwon to walk.
I'm never, ever playing soccer here again he said. Never, ever, ever, ever.
Siwon smiled and let go of Donghae as they entered the restroom. You're doing fine. he said as
both he and Donghae used paper and water to dry their forhead and neck. I heard the teacher
say he was impressed because you were so ambitious.
Donghae chuckled out loud before throwing the piece of paper in the trash can. Ambitious... he
repeated and chuckled again.
Ryeowook and Kibum were having their lunch break now, while Donghae and Siwon still had forty
minutes left of their class. They saw Donghae and Siwon sitting in the grass talking and wearing
their PE uniforms white, long shorts and red training jackets and instead of going to eat the
two younger boys decided to keep their hyungs company for a while first.
It was chilly outside and both males were freezing, especially on their lower part of the body and
hands, but luckily for them at leat the grass was dry. They sat there for almost twenty minutes,
doing nothing but talking about random things till Donghae was about to suggest that maybe
Ryeowook and Kibum should get going, or else they wouldn't have time to eat. But he didn't when
he saw Ryeowook suddenly freeze and Kibum keeping his gaze on something behind Donghae.
He turned his head and realized what had caused the sudden tension Heechul and his friends
were talking towards them.
Oh, look at this, Heechul said as he was standing behind Donghae; the four boys still sitting
down on the grass the four outsiders. Enjoying yourself, boys? he asked.
Ryeowook glanced over at Kibum, as if Kibum was the type to have a plan for situations like
these. But Kibum didn't see it, because he was only thinking about one thing: what the fuck is
Eunhyuk doing there with Heechul?
Eunhyuk was in the background, not looking at what was happening in front of him but looking
somewhere else and Kibum saw his hands shake before he put them in the pocket of his training

jacket.
When Heechul got no reply to his question he placed his foot on Donghae's back, his shoe being
dirty with grass and mud, and pushed him a little.
Stop that. Siwon who was sitting beside Donghae said as loud as he dared to and Heechul's
friends started to laugh. Donghae bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes to not say or do anything
he would regret.
Let's go. Kibum said after leaning forward, and he didn't have to convince any of the three more
than that before they all stood up. But as soon as Donghae turned his back and as soon as he
took the first step to walk away he was being pushed hard two hands on his back pushing him
forward with almost brutal force and Donghae collided with Siwon's back; his nose hitting Siwon's
shoulder. Siwon's shoulder must be made out of metal, because the pain in Donghae's nose was
intense. His eyes started to water, and he covered his mouth and nose with one hand and he
blinked hard once. As his three friends turned around to make sure Donghae was fine Heechul
and his friends started laughing even more.
Are you okay? one of the three asked, Donghae didn't register who because he was too angry.
He nodded, not really being sure what he was nodding to, because he suddenly got a flashback.
He remembered Eunhyuk telling him in that shaking voice that he was scared.
Heechul was a human being, flesh and blood, just like everybody else. He wasn't worth more
because people in the school knew his name, and he wasn't stronger because he had a lot of
servants. He was worth more because people let it be like that and he was stronger because no
one dared to contradict it. People were having their eyes shut tight and just accepted that
Heechul could do whatever he wanted. And Donghae had been one of those.
He slowly turned around; seeing the back of Heechul because they were all walking away. It was
around lunch time and the yard was filled with people. F-fuck you. Donghae whispered, in a
shaking voice; adrenaline rushing through his veins faster than ever. No one heard him, not
Heechul, not Eunhyuk, not even Kibum or Siwon who were standing beside him. Donghae took a
deep breath and fist his hands to stop them from shaking.
Fuck you! he yelled and Heechul immediately stopped dead short.
Siwon widened his eyes, Kibum's chocked on his saliva and Eunhyuk's heart stopped. Slowly,
slowly Heechul turned around; eyebrows high up on his forehead. He looked at Donghae, at
Kibum who was coughing and then at his friends behind him. Before turning his eyes back to
Donghae he smirked. Excuse me? he said. Did you say something?
Siwon was about to open his mouth to answer in Donghae's place but Donghae was faster. I said
'fuck you'. he said in a loud voice. As in 'go to hell', or 'fuck off', whatever you wanna chose.
Heechul's smirk died and Donghae saw Eunhyuk shaking his head violently, mouthing What the
fuck are you doing?. But Donghae ignored him and turned his eyes back to Heechul.
Heechul slowly took one step forward, two, three, four, slowly, slowly giving Donghae a change
to take back what he said or run away. But Donghae didn't.
Say that again. he dared. He wasn't smirking, he wasn't grinning and he wasn't chuckling. He
eyes were dead serious, his jaw tensed and his lips shut hard. In the corner of his eye Donghae
saw his three friends stare at him, at Heechul, and then back at him, and Donghae didn't have to
turn his head to know what their eyes looked like; worried, surprised, supporting, angry, scared.
Some curious students who had heard Donghae had stopped walking, talking or whatever it was

they were doing and were gathering around them; forming a circle with Heechul and Donghae in
the middle.
Donghae took a deep breath, never breaking the eye contact with the hyung as he parted his lips.
Fuck you.
They were quiet, no one was even breathing because they were too scared to even move. No
one knew what was going on or why this was happening.
Heechul suddenly smirked. I see. Without turning around he opened his hand and that single
action made Donghae freeze. Kangin. he simply said, and a muscular male Donghae had
seen him before stepped out of the group behind Heechul. He was holding a baseball bat and
Donghae stopped breathing. Say it again, you piece of shit. Heechul said as he slowly closed
his hand around the handle.
He wouldn't do it. People were watching and they were still in school. Heechul couldn't be that
stupid. No, he wouldn't do it. With this audience Donghae had his chance to stop this, to stop this
ridiculous dictatorship the students had given to Heechul, to show that Heechul wasn't some kind
of a supernatural monster but just a spoiled brat.
Fuck you, Donghae said again, eyes looking directly into Heechul's. you fucking cunt.
The sentence was finished, it had left his mouth, and then everything went so fast, like a flash.
Donghae lost the sense of time when hearing some students gasp and some girls scream.
Ryeowook grabbed Kibum to not do anything stupid and Siwon couldn't move. The bat was in the
air and the thought of running, ducking, screaming, crying never came to Donghae's mind. He
was just standing there, not realizing what was going on till he suddenly heard a desperate wait.
Some students had closed their eyes or turned their head to not see. Hands and legs were
shaking and those who hadn't looked away had their eyes wide open. The bat was still in the air
and Heechul's eyes were red, almost possessed, but he wasn't looking at Donghae. He was
looking at the person in front of Donghae Eunhyuk.
W-wait Eunhyuk heard himself say again, his both hands in front of him; his voice begging
Heechul to stop.
The ones having their eyes closed immediately opened them, students started whispering and
Donghae was surprised but of course not as surprised as his friends and the rest of the
students were. Heechul slowly let down the bat.
For what? Heechul hissed.
D-don't do it. Rather than sounding heroic Eunhyuk sounded pathetic, as if he wasn't quiet sure
what he had said or was about to say. He knew exactly what he wanted yet he sounded so
insecure it was laughable.
And why not? Heechul hissed, his voice and eyes scaring Eunhyuk more than the bat in his
hand.
Eunhyuk swallowed, feeling like he was swallowing his own heart back in place, before opening
his mouth. B-because I won't let you. he said. Fuck you.
Eunhyuk never saw Heechul raise the baseball bat again. He just suddenly couldn't breathe, his
both arms clutching his stomach. He tried inhaling, but couldn't, his voice wouldn't come out and
he was on his knees on the grass. Had Heechul hit him?

He raised his head just in time to see the next bang, the bat flying towards him, and in second his
forehead was bleeding, thin red lines running down to his temple, eye, cheek. The world was
spinning faster than it ever had, and his whole throat tensed because he felt like vomiting.
His friends were telling him to stop, that it was enough, but Heechul wouldn't listen. How dare that
motherfucker embarrass him in front of everyone? He swung the baseball bat again and again
and again, not caring where he was hitting. It didn't matter if they were his friends or not, if it was
Eunhyuk or not, because Heechul deserved respect. When his friends kept telling him to stop,
some guys even grabbing his arms, Heechul turned his anger towards them who did they think
they were? and even hit another male in his rage. The ones trying to stop him immediately back
off as Heechul started to kick the dongsaeng on the grass.
Heechul's friends saw a side of Heechul they thought they were safe from. But when realizing that
not even that mattered, Eunhyuk supposedly was a friend, a few of them backed off and slowly
walked away; not wanting to have anything to do with this, Heechul, Eunhyuk, no one.
Donghae was screaming and crying and shaking, but people were holding him, preventing him
from interfering. He didn't know who it was, he just knew he couldn't get close. He didn't hear
what he was screaming, just that his throat was painfully dry and it hurt, was he screaming for
Eunhyuk? Or was he screaming to let go off him?
Sungmin was there too, not realizing it was Eunhyuk in the middle till he head someone beside
him say it. But there were too many off them for him to get through. He was yelling at people
desperately with tears running down his eyes, to move the fuck away but people were too scared,
curious and shocked to even mind him.
They were seeing it all. They saw Donghae crying for Eunhyuk, they saw Eunhyuk Heechul's
little favorite dongsaeng lying bloody on the grass. There was nothing else to say, nothing else
to do, because all secrets that these boys had were exposed completely to everyone there.
Suddenly the whole world changed to Eunhyuk. It was going slowly, so painfully slowly. He saw
bodies moving but didn't know what was going on. The sun almost made him blind, but he shifted
between sometimes seeing blurred faces and trees and sometimes just seeing darkness. He
wondered if it was himself who caused it was he trying to cover his face? or if it was him being
on the edge of collapsing that caused it. He heard some people yell, scream, cry but he couldn't
recognize the voices. He didn't hear Donghae or Sungmin or Leeteuk, he just heard people. Were
they even there?
He stopped feeling pain for a split second, only seeing flashes of a bat covered with blood when
he moved his head to a certain direction. He didn't know how long he had been lying there, how
long unknown voices had been screaming, how long all these faces had been standing there or
how many times Heechul had hit him. He just knew that he couldn't move, talk, breathe. He knew
he shouldn't close his eyes, but keep them open tense all the muscles he could, use all his
willpower no matter what. Because if he shut them he wasn't sure he would ever open them
again.
SM Boarding School
Chapter twenty-two, part one
Donghae suddenly felt himself being harshly pushed away, landing on the grass on all four. It took
a while for him to react and when he looked up he realized he wasn't the only one who had been
pushed.
He saw three men standing there, two of them holding Heechul and dragging him away from
there before anyone had the time to say or do anything. He didn't recognize the men but their

clothes told him they were teachers. Heechul was screaming and protesting, loosing the grip on
the bat and leaving it on the grass. Donghae looked at it; eyes teary and hands shaking.
It was blood on it, so much blood. Eunhyuk's blood.
He turned his head and immediately recognized the third man, the man in short black hair and
glasses their Korean teacher. He was crouching down, covering Donghae's view of Eunhyuk.
Donghae wanted to get up and push the teacher away. He wanted to see him. He needed to see
him and know he was okay. But Donghae didn't get anywhere because as soon as he got up he
felt his knees betray him and he felt Kibum holding him steady so he wouldn't fall again. He
wanted to ask what had happened, his mind was blank, but his voice wouldn't come out. He
wasn't even understanding what Kibum was telling him, he just saw his lips moving and his eyes
worried.
I need to... was all he managed to say but Kibum just shook his head and kept saying
something.
Everyone, mind your own fucking business!
Donghae jumped when hearing someone say that and he quickly turned his head to see who it
was because the voice was familiar but right now he couldn't think of a matching face. It was
Leeteuk who was yelling and pushing the stubborn ones away while their teacher, who was
carrying Eunhyuk, quickly made his way out of the crowd. Leeteuk ran to catch up with the man
and Donghae tried calling for them, Leeteuk, his teacher, Eunhyuk; opening his mouth to yell, but
his voice failed him again.
Everything was his fault. It hadn't been worth it. God, it had not been worth it. Heechul could have
the school if he wanted, he could have Seoul, South Korea, the whole fucking world if he wanted.
But Hyukjae didn't have anything to do with that. Donghae could have taken it all, the punches,
the yells, the eyes, everything. But not Hyukjae.
He felt weak, so weak Kibum had to call for help to hold him up. His mind was so blurred, so
messy and the world was spinning so fast Donghae couldn't figure out where exactly they were
now and who the ones holding him were. He couldn't breathe and he suddenly got tired, so tired.
He couldn't talk, move or stand up straight. All he could do was to blame himself; blame himself
for being so stupid, selfish, blunt.
He lost the little amount of strength he had left and heard Ryeowook call for him in panic, before
everything went black.
**
He woke up with a jerk, as if waking up from a nightmare; eyes shooting open in a split second.
And that's exactly what it felt like because his heart was beating so fast, as if it wanted to fight it's
way out through Donghae's chest and he was sweating. It didn't take a second for him to
remember what had happened.
He looked around, realizing he was alone in Kibum and Ryeowook's room. He was lying in
Kibum's bed and he sat up and had to support his hand on the nightstand to get up. He didn't
care where the others were and as soon as he managed to get up he started looking for a clock.
It was still sunny outside, but he needed to know for how long he had passed out.

Luckily it didn't take long till he found what he was looking for, because in this state he wouldn't
hesitate to turn the room upside down if necessary, even though this wasn't his own room. The
clock told him he had been there for almost forty minutes, it was a little after 4pm. He hurried to
put some shoes on, not caring if it was his own or not, before running out of the room.
**
The hospital was white, the walls, the floor, the ceiling, even the people. Doctors and nurses were
running back and forth, with notepads in their hands and stethoscope around their necks. Some
doctors passed by with rolling hospital beds, some being empty and some with people lying it in.
Anxious men and women were sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the doctors to say what they
didn't want to hear.
Because that's what happens in hospitals. Last time Donghae was in a hospital was because of
his dad, so Donghae knew by experience that in hospitals they didn't save people. People just
came here to die.
Donghae yah! Donghae heard someone call and he didn't register that the voice was familiar.
He didn't even care about who said it, because he knew it wasn't Eunhyuk. He just kept walking,
even though he had no idea where he was supposed to go; ignoring the one who was calling for
him. But when he felt a hand on his shoulder he had to turn around.
Are you alright? a young male, taller than Donghae, asked and Donghae had to give himself a
moment to recognize him. He didn't answer the question.
He wanted to ask for him, but he was scared Leeteuk might say something, say it and brutally
destroy Donghae's everything. But he had to ask. He opened his mouth to say it, to say his name,
but he knew he couldn't. He could feel it in his eyes, in his throat, in his heart that if he said it his
name he would lose control over himself. His hands and knees started to shake again, and his
bloodshot eyes were giving him a blurred vision. He was on the edge of collapsing, on the edge
of crying his heart and soul out.
It's alright. Leeteuk said, and put and arm around Donghae as they started walking, his hand
giving Donghae's shoulder a light squeeze. Leeteuk didn't say anything about Eunhyuk being
fine. He wasn't smiling or even looking at Donghae, and Donghae noticed Leeteuk had been
crying too.
They walked pass many doors, all of them looking the same. Donghae didn't even dare to turn his
head because he didn't know where to look. He didn't want to look at all because he didn't want to
be here. He's whole body was tense, his back, neck, legs and arms, as he walked as if it was
protesting and not accepting that Donghae was here. He swallowed, and when he felt Leeteuk
once again giving his shoulder a light squeeze he knew they were close.
The room they entered was also white, like all other rooms Donghae had seen. It was a simple
square shaped room, with a bed, a table and three chairs. The light was on even though it didn't
need to, because the big window was enough to lighten up the room. A chair was standing right
next to the bed, where the previous visitor had been sitting. Probably Leeteuk.
But what was different in this room was that the bed wasn't empty.
Eunhyuk was lying there on his back, a baby blue blanket covering part off his stomach and his
legs. His eyes were closed and the lower part of his face was covered by a transparent respirator.

They hadn't changed his clothes, but just taken the red jacket off, leaving him with a gray T-shirt.
Wet spots were all over the neck area of the T-shirt, turning the T-shirt a darker gray. He had a
deep cut in his left cheek. The other cheek had a bruise, a red and purple circle on his
cheekbone, and Eunhyuk's pale skin only made it more visible.
They had washed his face, because both his face and part of his hair was damp. His fingers had
traces of blood, just like the blanket and the white sheets, and Donghae asked himself why the
fuck they would put him in a white bed. Eunhyuk's chest was moving up and down, he was
breathing, but Donghae didn't know if that was enough for him to calm down.
Leeteuk told Donghae he would stay right outside if Donghae needed anything, but Donghae
wasn't listening. He slowly walked towards the bed, taking one step at a time as Leeteuk closed
the door behind him; shutting out all noises coming from the rest of the building and leaving the
room so quiet Donghae could hear his uneven heartbeat.
For each step he took in more and more of the male in front of him; the small cuts on his face and
the bruises on his arms and neck. His lips were red, so red Donghae could see it despite the
respirator, and not pink as they should. He sat down on the chair in front of him and reached out
both his shaking hands to grab Eunhyuk's hand. Eunhyuk's hand was lifeless and cold and didn't
react to Donghae's touch. His nails and fingertips where red from when he had desperately tried
to protect himself and Donghae couldn't hold the tears anymore. He cried silently, holding
Eunhyuk tightly in his hands, whispering quiet and heartbroken I'm so sorrys because all this
was his fault.
What are you doing here? he suddenly heard someone behind him say and when he turned his
head he saw Sungmin standing in the doorway with Shindong a few steps behind him. He let go
of Eunhyuk's hand. What the fuck do you think you're doing here? Sungmin asked again, his
voice raising, and Donghae didn't answer.
He didn't answer both because his voice didn't let him but also because he didn't know what to
answer. Sungmin knew now and Shindong knew now. The whole fucking school knew, and so
there was nothing left to say. Donghae swallowed, but made no attempt to say anything.
This is all your fault, you fucking parasite. Get the fuck out of here. When Donghae made no
signs of getting up from his seat Sungmin lost it and Shindong had to grab him hard so he
wouldn't attack his classmate. Are you deaf?! Get the fuck out of here! Sungmin yelled,
Shindong grabbing him by his waist and arm and telling him to calm down, and Donghae
immediately got up from his seat. He got out of there; receiving a hard push when he got close to
Sungmin to get out.
~*~
The next day was a Thursday and was supposed to be like all other Thursdays. Eunhyuk was
supposed to snort and roll his eyes at Shindong's bad jokes. Sungmin was supposed to lean on
him, his head on his shoulder and Eunhyuk was supposed to tell him to stop that because it made
them look like a couple. Sungmin would then chuckle mockingly and tell him that Eunhyuk should
be thankful if people thought he was dating someone like Lee Sungmin.
But this wasn't the Thursday it was supposed to be. It was cold inside the classroom even though
the the window was closed, as if nature knew something important was missing. The only one
who talked during the lessons was the teacher. The rest of the students were quiet and spent the
whole day in silence. No one was in the mood for joking or laughing or interrupting the teacher
like they usually did. Most of them didn't even dare talking about what had happened, what they
had seen, and some students were so shocked they didn't even come to school.

Sungmin had to close his eyes hard to control his tears every time he saw the seat beside him
stand empty and Donghae never turned around during the whole lesson.
No one saw Heechul in school.
~*~
Heechul never came back to the school. Not the next day, not the day after that or the day after
that. When the few students who were brave enough to ask their teachers about him they all got
the same kind of answer, either that they shouldn't worry about it or that it was none of their
business. But most students didn't ask, because they were clever enough to understand that they
wouldn't get an answer; the school had to think about it's reputation. Of course the school would
oh so smoothly cover this up, with as few people as possible being involved and know what had
happened.
~*~
After a week no one even mentioned Heechul and most students went back to their normal
routines, as if nothing had happened. They were laughing and talking during class and hanging
out in the schoolyard. Their behavior, the fact that they only after a week could act as if everything
was back to normal, as if Eunhyuk hadn't done them a fucking favor by standing up for them all,
disgusted Sungmin so much. It was thanks to Eunhyuk that these motherfuckers could even
breathe calmly because they didn't have Heechul to worry about. Eunhyuk had showed them real
courage, in front of the seniors, the whole school, the teachers, but these stupid bastards didn't
see or appreciated it enough.
The three males were sitting outside; Junsu sitting by himself on one bench and Shindong and
Sungmin sitting opposite him on another bench. The trees were naked and the grass covered by
fallen leaves; brown, yellow and red crispy leaves that would break when being stepped on.
At a distance Sungmin saw Donghae and Siwon walk towards their direction. Donghae was
walking with his head low and every now and then Siwon would tap his shoulder and say
something. While Shindong and Junsu tried to break the awkward silence by stepping on all
leaves they could reach, Sungmin lingered his eyes on his poor classmate and his tall friend.
When Eunhyuk stood up against Heechul, his legs shaking, his voice shaking, his hands shaking,
he hadn't been thinking about the students. His goal hadn't been to defend the ones Heechul
bullied and his goal hadn't been to prove that it was possible opposing the senior. Sungmin knew
Eunhyuk didn't give a shit about that. Eunhyuk had done it for Donghae, and no one else.
Look at him. Junsu said and Sungmin woke up from his thoughts to see who he was talking
about. Junsu nodded at Donghae's direction and both Sungmin and Shindong turned to look at
him. As if all this isn't his fault.
He should be the one lying in the hospital instead of Eunhyuk Shindong agreed. And possibly
stay there forever.
Sungmin wasn't known for his strength, but that was also because he never punched people.
Until now. He planted a good punch on Shindong's upper arm which made Shindong squeal in
pain. Even Donghae and Siwon heard him and when realizing it was the famous trio sitting there
they quickly looked away and started walking towards the opposite direction.
What the fuck is your problem? Shindong almost yelled; his hand over the part where Sungmin
had punched him. He would definitely get a bruise, he could feel it already.

Your stupidity is my fucking problem. Sungmin replied and turned to look at Junsu who
immediately raised his palms in defeat. You don't get anything of this, do you? he asked the two
males and glared at them so intensely that both Junsu and Shindong completely forgot that this
guy was usually called baby face. Hyukjae is in the hospital because it was his own choice. So
shut the fuck up before I punch you in the face instead of your arm.
Shindong didn't know what surprised him the most; the fact that the punch actually had hurt
really, Sungmin was both thin and short or the fact that he was defending Donghae. At least
indirectly. He was defending Eunhyuk for defending Donghae... or something, Shindong wasn't
sure. The chubby male turned his face to look at Junsu who was sitting in front of them and when
Sungmin wasn't looking Junsu shrugged his shoulders; understanding just as little as Shindong
had about what just happened.
Sungmin didn't notice and he didn't care either, because his thoughts were somewhere else, far,
far away from here. He had never imagined his best friend would ever, ever like a guy. Was he
gay? Had he always been gay? Sungmin had never had a problem with homosexual people, but
Eunhyuk... He wasn't really gay, was he?
Gay people weren't like Eunhyuk. They talked in a high pitched voice and giggled and liked
gossip. They read magazines about fashion and pop idols, waved with their hands every time
they talked to emphasize what they were saying and rolled their eyes when someone said
something they didn't like.
Sungmin's thoughts stopped dead short and he just had to chuckle to himself. Says the guy
whose side of the room is completely pink..., he thought and shook his head. Eunhyuk was his
friend, his Hyukie, and Sungmin would forgive him and stand up for him even if he decided he
would destroy the world. He would stick to him no matter what and he would defend him with
claws and teeth.
Hyukjae likes that guy. Sungmin said and Junsu and Shindong were quiet. He didn't get beaten
up for nothing.
The two males exchanged looks again before nodding in unison.
~*~
Two days later Donghae watched as Siwon closed the door to their shared room. He was sitting
on his bed, holding a book in his hands but not reading it he hadn't been able to concentrate for
days now. Siwon approached him slowly and when Donghae saw his eyes he knew Siwon was
about to say something Donghae wouldn't want to hear.
Minutes later Donghae found himself vomiting violently, chocking and not being able to breathe,
and tears were running down his eyes, down in the toilet. He had locked himself in the bathroom
and was crying loudly, his throat burning both from his crying and his vomiting.
He didn't hear Siwon banging the door, pleading for him to please open the door. All he could
hear was the words Siwon had said and those words were echoing in his head, being repeated
over and over again each time feeling like a whip on his heart.
Hyukjae fell into a coma.
~*~
Donghae didn't go to school that week. He didn't care about reporting it to the reception lady
either because he didn't care if that would get him expelled or not.

He didn't shower, he didn't eat, he didn't talk and he didn't leave his bed. Siwon was the
responsible one for leaving the window open before he left for class so the other wouldn't
suffocate himself in bad air. Before leaving, during his lunch and when finishing school Siwon
would make sure that Donghae at least ate a little. Kibum and Ryeowook had tried to visit him but
never entered the room when Siwon told them they should probably leave him alone.
That was how the week passed.
~*~
After eight days Siwon had enough and decided this couldn't continue like this. After school
finished he sat down on Donghae's bed, Donghae's hand in his, and trying to encourage him to
go out even if it would be for just a few minutes. Donghae didn't answer; eyes red and unfocused.
But Siwon was stubborn and after thirteen minutes he miraculously convinced Donghae to take a
shower and go out just to get some fresh air.
Donghae liked autumn. He liked how the cool air would brush against his face, how the beautiful
leaves would decorate every flat surface and he liked the sound and smell of rain. But Donghae
had missed this autumn because it was about to end already. Even so he couldn't bring himself to
care. He had his summer sneakers on which weren't suited for this weather, for a moment
forgetting that summer was over a long time ago, and after just a few steps he felt his socks get
wet. It was cold and uncomfortable and sticky, but Donghae didn't care.
Siwon was talking about the weather, the classes, their homework and even telling a few stories
that were completely irrelevant. He wasn't talking because he wanted Donghae to listen he
knew Donghae's mind was absent most of the time. He was talking to cheer the mood up
because he knew silence was the least thing Donghae needed right now.
Donghae oppa! someone called which gained both males' attention and they stopped walking. A
thin blonde was jogging towards them, her long hair dancing in the wind and her hand waving.
Donghae gave her a weak smile and Jessica was smart enough to know that asking 'what's
wrong' was probably the most inappropriate thing to do.
We have two empty seats. she said instead and pointed at a table and when Donghae looked
he recognized everyone sitting there. He didn't know their names but just their faces. Most of
them were people he had seen together with Eunhyuk. Sungmin was there too without Junsu and
Shindong.
Donghae shook his head and had to clear his throat to be able to talk. We're on our way back to
the dorms.
Jessica pouted and looked at Siwon who shook his head without Donghae noticing and Jessica
interpreted that as if Siwon was telling her to try a little harder. Please? she said. Just a little
while.
Donghae turned to look at Siwon who shrugged his shoulders, but his eyes were clearly agreeing
with Jessica. But Donghae still shook his head. Maybe another
He didn't get to finish his sentence before Jessica grabbed his wrist in one hand and Siwon's
wrist in the other. It won't hurt giving it a shot now, right? she said and turned her face to look at
Donghae and Siwon. Right? she asked again and offered them a sweet and friendly smile.
Donghae thought that Jessica was wrong. Maybe it would hurt him give it a shot, because these
were the people who had rejected Donghae for not being like them. Maybe the wouldn't hurt him

physically but there was no guarantee they wouldn't hurt him psychically. He could feel his
adrenaline level rise because he was scared as Jessica dragged them closer and closer to the
table. But when he turned his face to look at Siwon he saw Siwon look back at him with a
surprised but proud look. He smiled at Donghae, his smile cheering for Donghae, praising him for
being so brave, and Donghae thought that maybe Jessica was right after all.
What's he doing here? one of the guys sitting there asked. Donghae didn't know his name, but
he knew he was one of Eunhyuk's friends. Siwon's and Jessica's support suddenly seemed so
insignificant compared to the several glares and surprised looks he got from the ones at the table.
He's taking a seat. Jessica said before sitting down between two other girls. And if anyone has
a problem with that then leave the table.
The guy asking that immediately raised himself and walked away and that only convinced
Donghae more that this was a really bad idea. He would have walked away if it wasn't for Jessica
suddenly reaching out to grab Donghae's wrist again. Was he that predictable?
Jessica rolled her eyes, muttered a what an idiot under her breath before letting Donghae go.
She gestured for Siwon to sit down at the edge of the same bench she was sitting on and when
Donghae realized the only seat left was the one beside Sungmin he froze.
Donghae wanted to tap Siwon's shoulders and tell him that he would be leaving to the dorms and
if Siwon wanted to stay he would do so (after all, the students had a problem with Donghae and
not Siwon). But before he had the time to do that he saw Sungmin move a little, not because he
didn't want Donghae to sit beside him, but to leave more space for Donghae to sit down. He
wasn't looking at Donghae while doing it but was busy talking to a friend, so Donghae didn't dare
to think he did it consciously. That was until Donghae had been standing there for a couple of
seconds Siwon was talking to the girl sitting beside him, one of Jessica's friends, while Jessica
was chatting happily with another friend and Sungmin turned around to look at him.
Are you gonna sit or what? he asked and the fact that Sungmin had talked to him without that
hissing voice, without that disgust made Donghae forget to breathe.
Was this some kind of a prank? Sungmin still looked awkward when both looking and talking to
him, but he was trying. Donghae sat down carefully, making sure to not touch his classmate
because he was afraid of how Sungmin would react of that would happen. They were sitting so
close, closer than they had ever been.
Donghae oppa is from Mokpo. Jessica suddenly said and Donghae felt his heart stop. He was
uncomfortable, so uncomfortable, and when Jessica mentioned his name he suddenly had seven
pair of eyes looking at him, everyone except from Sungmin beside him.
Really? the girl to Jessica's left, the one who had talked to Siwon, asked. She wasn't from
Donghae's class. How funny! You don't speak with a dialect at all.
Donghae smiled a little awkwardly at the younger girl to be polite and nodded, not having any
idea what he was supposed to say. But to his surprise the others did the job for him; talking and
asking and commenting. Donghae only had to answer their questions.
He was just waiting for everyone to get tired of him and leave. He was waiting for at least one of
them to stop with this act and mock him for being different.
They never did though. No one from their table left because Donghae was there or said anything
mean or provoking. Not the guys, not the girls, not even Sungmin.
SM Boarding School

Chapter twenty-two, part two

Some of Kibum's friends had asked him if he and Ryeowook wanted to go downtown after school.
But Kibum wasn't in the mood and his friends knew it already they just asked to be polite so
no one was surprised when he turn them down.
Kibum threw himself on his bed, face down. He sighed heavily. It was weird that everything had
affected him so much. He didn't care about Eunhyuk more than anyone else in this school. Sure,
he didn't want Eunhyuk to die because Kibum was also a human being, but he honestly didn't
care about Eunhyuk that much. Why would he? But when remembering Donghae, the way he
looked so desperate and lost, the way he cried and screamed, Kibum felt his whole body tense.
That had been the most horrible thing he had ever seen.
Kibum ah... Ryeowook said carefully.
It took a few seconds before Kibum rolled over, lying on his back, eyes on the ceiling. What?
You're in love with Donghae hyung, aren't you?
The hesitation in Ryeowook's question, should he really ask?, was obvious both to him and
Kibum. Kibum was still facing the ceiling and he didn't reply. He didn't mind shaking his head or
respond verbally. Deep inside Ryeowook knew he was right, both of them knew that.
I just knew. Ryeowook continued and Kibum still didn't say anything.
There was an awkward silence because neither of them knew how to react. Ryeowook asked
himself if he was doing wrong in sticking his nose into Kibum's business. Kibum asked himself if
he should deny it or unburden his heart.
You never told me anything about the relationships you've had. And I didn't ask because I
thought you didn't want to tal
Donghae hyung and I were together right before he entered this school. Kibum interrupted him,
before he had the time to change his mind. He sat up on his bed, back against the wall, watching
as Ryeowook slowly sat down on his own bed; both of them looking at each other. Kibum sighed.
We were together for almost a year.
Why did you break up?
The brunet shrugged his shoulders a little, as he started to play with his fingers, and Ryeowook
knew he did it because he was uncomfortable. He was about to say Kibum didn't have to tell him
if he didn't want to, but Kibum was faster.
I used to travel to Mokpo because he didn't have money enough to come to Seoul. One day I just
stopped coming. Ryeowook didn't have to ask why, because the surprised and confused look on
his face spoke of themselves. I really liked him and he really liked me, but I couldn't let my
parents find out. I got scared and I thought that if I left just like that he would eventually forget
about me. I never imagined him entering this school though.
There was a moment of silence and Kibum chuckled a little sadly to himself and shook his head;
not understanding how he could have thrown away something like that so easily. Turns out my
parents were fine with it. I told them a couple of months ago that I had dated a guy... They were
fine with it.
Kibum didn't cry, his eyes weren't even teary. He didn't look sad, but just completely hopeless. He
shrugged his shoulders a little, his right hand running through his hair.

I'm sorry. Ryeowook said in a low voice because he had no idea what else to say.
No need to be sorry. I screwed up. Donghae hyung liked me a lot so he must have been really
sad when I left. But when he saw me here he wasn't angry at me. He asked once why I left but I
didn't answer.
He was about to say that he didn't deserve Donghae for leaving like that, but he didn't because
he knew that would reopen old wounds. Eunhyuk didn't deserve Donghae either. Kibum knew
Donghae deserved to be happy and he knew how much Donghae loved Eunhyuk. He also knew
why Eunhyuk was in the hospital right now, because of Donghae. But thoughts like this, thoughts
that said he should be the one with Donghae right now, couldn't stop running through his head.
Thoughts that told him he and Donghae were meant for each other and that if it wasn't for Kibum
being a stupid, idiotic, pathetic coward they would still be together. It hurt.
I don't wanna talk about this. Kibum said in a low voice and Ryeowook nodded.
Kibum wasn't the type to cry easily and he wasn't the type to talk about how he felt either. Usually
he would just sit there quietly and not let people know what was happening in his mind.
Whenever he felt like crying he would leave and whenever he felt angry he would stay quiet. He
had always been like that, so at this moment Ryeowook didn't know what Kibum felt. He didn't
know if Kibum wanted to cry but didn't dare to.
After a few seconds of silence Ryeowook got up from his bed and Kibum lift his head at the
sound of Ryeowook walking towards him. The shorter one walked over to Kibum's bed and sat
down, Ryeowook's back against the wall too and their arms touching. He leaned his head on
Kibum's shoulder and grabbed Kibum's hand. They stayed like that in silence, Ryeowook toying
with Kibum's fingers.
You're a good person. Ryeowook said. You're gonna find someone that's meant for you.
Kibum nodded, even thought that thought seemed so impossible, so far away, at the moment.
Kibum didn't hate Donghae or Eunhyuk. He didn't hate anyone and he didn't judge anyone either.
He was sixteen years old, he had his whole life ahead of him, with friends backing him up even
when he would screw up. This is life; you get sad, happy, desperate, immature... You forget
everything that actually means something, friends and family, because of a temporarily
obsession. There was no need for him to hate or judge anyone. He was ready to move on, to
grow up.
A small smile appeared on his lips and he sighed; feeling the last weight on his chest leave his
body. He leaned his head too, his read resting over Ryeowook's as he looked down at their
hands.
~*~
Sungmin shi. their Korean teacher suddenly said when Sungmin was packing his books into his
bag. A few students had already left and the classroom was filled with chatter and gossip.
Donghae was standing up in front of his desk and packing down his book too, facing Sungmin's
direction. He followed the teacher with his eyes as the man walked over to Sungmin.
The teacher crouched down beside Sungmin's desk and something told Donghae he should wait
before leaving. The classroom wasn't that big, and Donghae would have heard what the teacher
said if it wasn't for the two girls sitting behind Donghae who were talking loudly about a cute new
student. Donghae mentally cursed them and slapped them in his mind for being so loud. The
teacher said something, Donghae being too busy being angry to try reading his lips, and suddenly

Sungmin froze.
Donghae froze too, because even though he hadn't heard what the teacher said he knew who it
was about.
Sungmin's eyes were wide open in shock, eyes staring at nowhere in particular. His hands slowly
went up to cover his mouth, and Donghae saw tears running down his cheeks. But the teacher
was smiling, placed a cheerful hand on Sungmin's shoulder and Sungmin just nodded at
whatever the teacher said before quickly running his hands over his eyes. A small smile appeared
on his lips.
That's when Donghae knew. He turned his head to look at Siwon, who without him noticing also
had been watching Sungmin and the teacher. Siwon smiled at him, dimples on his cheek, and
moved closer to give his friend a side hug; pressing Donghae close to him and resting his head
over Donghae's because the other was so short.
Donghae was smiling too, for the first time not because he had to but because he was happy; a
genuine smile Siwon had missed for too long.
Eunhyuk was alright.
~*~
Thick light gray clouds were making Seoul gray today. Tiny snowflakes were falling down from the
sky, the first snowflakes of this year's winter. Children ran outside this Sunday afternoon, yelling
and laughing and trying to catch the snow with their mouth or hands who were inside colorful
mittens. There wasn't enough snow for them to play and as soon as the flakes touched the
ground they sank into the asphalt; not leaving any trace behind. But that didn't stop the little ones
from having the time of their life.
Eunhyuk watched through the window as two little girls were spinning fast, with outstretched arms
and facing the sky with opened mouths. One girl lost her balance and fell which cause both of
them to burst out in laughter. Eunhyuk smiled.
The doctors here were nice, the bed was comfortable and the food was eatable. But that wasn't
enough for Eunhyuk wanting to stay. The nights were so quiet and lonely and cold, it made him
depressed and his nurse had an awful timing. Whenever he felt he wanted some time alone she
would knock on his door and ask if everything was fine, if he wanted something and talk about
how Christmas was getting near. Whenever he felt lonely she wouldn't come.
Eunhyuk didn't want to lie in a bed because he wasn't able to walk without help. He wanted to
dance. He wanted to hear the music, feel it going through his veins, through every inch of his
body and forget everything outside the trance he got into whenever he danced. But no, instead he
was stuck here, being forced to call for help whenever he wanted to get up and just stretch his
legs.
Someone knocked the door and Eunhyuk didn't reply because he just knew it was the nurse,
again, because right now he wasn't in the mood for visitors. What the fuck, she was here just
fifteen minutes ago.
You awake? a voice asked, a voice way too manly to belong to the nurse.
No, hyung. I'm sleeping. Eunhyuk said flatly, not being in the mood for jokes. But a stupid
question deserves a stupid answer.

Leeteuk grinned before stepping inside the room and closing the door behind him. How are
you?
Eunhyuk shrugged his shoulders, not really being in the mood for talking about how he felt. He
was bored, his body hurt and he wanted to get out of there, what more is there to say? He hated
how that was the only thing people asked, how are you, every single time someone would visit
him. Seriously, didn't they have anything else to say? He forgot how many times he had
answered that question.
The senior grabbed the chair that was standing right next to the door and carried it over to
Eunhyuk's bed. He took in the sight of his dongsaeng; his left forearm and fingers were wrapped
up in bandage and the big, squared shaped sticking plaster on his cheek made him look like a
little kid.
You want me to get something for you? he asked and sat down and Eunhyuk shook his head.
Leeteuk was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped. Eunhyuk was
looking outside the window again which only made him curse in his head for being stuck to this
goddamn bed. When he heard Leeteuk sighed he turned his head.
The police is involved now.
Eunhyuk shrugged his shoulders. So? Not his problem. He was the victim in all this. But before
he could turn his attention back to the window Leeteuk spoke up again.
They found out about what you and the others have been doing.
The younger one shocked when swallowing, his eyes widening in shock and his heart starting to
race in a split second. He got pale. Wh-what?! he asked, terrified.
You knew this would happen sooner or later. Leeteuk said, and he sounded way too calm for
Eunhyuk's liking.
I'm not telling them anything. Eunhyuk said in one breath and shook his head fast.
You're telling them the truth.
Eunhyuk chuckled out loud in complete sarcasm. Of course Leeteuk, a mature role model who
didn't have any consequences to fear, would say something like that.
No, I'm not. Eunhyuk said and glared, but that didn't affect Leeteuk even the slightest. He just
looked back at his dongsaeng with a superior look; eyes telling Eunhyuk he was immature
because he really only had himself to blame. Eunhyuk would have been pissed off if it wasn't
because he knew Leeteuk was right.
Yes you are. Leeteuk replied calmly.
Hyung, are you crazy?! I can't go to jail!
You're seventeen years old, Hyukjae. They won't send you to jail.
But
And you are only considered as an a accomplice.
Too bad that wasn't much of a comfort. Eunhyuk ran his right hand through his hair and face,

desperation and fear taking over his mind completely. Leeteuk got up from his seat to sit down on
Eunhyuk's bed before placing a supporting hand on his shoulder. The gesture was nice, but didn't
help at all.
You know that
I'm not telling them anything because the others wont. Eunhyuk almost hissed and harshly
shook Leeteuk's hand off his shoulder. They're going to lie, and so am I.
That doesn't matter. You can't lie.
Of course it matters! Eunhyuk yelled back. The others
Haven't you been following others for too long now, Hyukjae?
As expected, that sentence made the young male go completely silent. Even trying to snap back
at that would be stupid, it didn't take a genius to understand that. He bit the inside of his bottom
lip, because he was ridiculously close to insult his hyung for saying the truth. How mature.
Besides, Leeteuk continued. You know Donghae wouldn't appreciate you lying.
The fear was quickly replaced by embarrassment. Eunhyuk didn't realize till now Leeteuk, like
everybody else in school, knew about him and Donghae. Maybe they didn't know they were
dating, the fact that they had actually had sex, but they did know something was there. It was
weird, it was unfamiliar and it was scary. It was even embarrassing, because that would mean
people would think Eunhyuk was gay. Lee Hyukjae, Eunhyuk, was gay. And it wasn't any guy he
would be dating, it was Lee Donghae, the only poor guy in school, the guy that no one liked
because Heechul had said so.
Eunhyuk hadn't thought about it till now and it sure wasn't a good feeling. But when looking at his
hyung Eunhyuk saw that there was no need to be embarrassed. He could see it in his eyes, hear
it in his voice.
Isn't this enough? Eunhyuk asked and gestured himself I got beaten up for him.
Leeteuk shook his head. What you did was admirable, he started but Eunhyuk just waited for
the 'but'. But do you have any idea how much Donghae must have been suffering from all this?
Not just because you took his place and got beaten up, but ever since the first day he sat his foot
here in this school.
Eunhyuk hadn't been thinking about that. Mostly because he didn't dare to, because he was
scared Donghae would wake up from a mental coma and realize Eunhyuk didn't deserve him
because he didn't and leave. But also because the way Eunhyuk had acted made him feel
disgusted over himself. Honestly, Eunhyuk had been thinking about Donghae as little as possible,
because he still wasn't sure what he felt about all this.
Exactly. Leeteuk said, when Eunhyuk didn't reply, as if he had read his mind.
Eunhyuk had feared of not being noticed, feared of being a nobody. But what is being a nobody?
Donghae was supposedly one, but the whole school knew who he was and he was probably the
most patient and caring person Eunhyuk had ever met. Most of the students were stupid, so
stupid they wouldn't even give Donghae a chance because of his social status. But there were
people who gave Donghae a chance, Ryeowook, Siwon, Kibum, and those were the lucky ones
because they had a friend like Donghae.

Donghae wasn't a nobody, Donghae was greater than any one in their school.
~*~
My baby! the boy in the doorway squealed. He hadn't knocked and Eunhyuk had jumped in
surprise at the door suddenly flying open. You have no idea how worried I've been!
Eunhyuk raised his hands to stop the smaller male from attacking him with hugs and kisses but
the other male either didn't notice or didn't care. Probably the latter. But as soon as Sungmin
wrapped his arms around Eunhyuk's neck Eunhyuk winced, his eyes squeezing shut and he
hissed in pain. Sungmin immediately backed off.
Your back? he asked apologetic and Eunhyuk nodded; one hand caressing his shoulders and
Sungmin calmed down and sat down on the bed.
It was six days ago Sungmin found out Eunhyuk was out of danger and it wasn't till now that he
was able to visit him. Those who weren't blood related to Eunhyuk weren't allowed to visit him
until just yesterday. But Sungmin hadn't been able to come then because Leeteuk had said he
needed to talk to Eunhyuk first. According to Leeteuk it would be best if Eunhyuk only had one
visitor at a time or else it would be too much.
I missed you. Sungmin said and Eunhyuk nodded and smiled, which was the closest to 'I
missed you too' Sungmin would get.
Last time Sungmin and Eunhyuk talked had been in their dorm, more than a month ago, when
Sungmin had thrown private pictures at Eunhyuk before rushing out of their common room.
Eunhyuk hadn't forgotten Sungmin shocked face, the way he had cried because of fear from the
hyungs or what he had said.
I don't hate you. Sungmin said in a low voice, as if he was reading Eunhyuk's mind. He probably
wasn't though, because reading his face was enough. And you don't disgust me. Never.
I know.
Sungmin leaned forward and hugged Eunhyuk a lot more carefully this time and Eunhyuk hugged
him back with one arm, the other one still being too sore. I'm just so happy you're alright.
Sungmin said and Eunhyuk knew Sungmin wanted to cry. But Sungmin didn't because he knew
Eunhyuk would use that against him, calling Sungmin a crybaby, whenever he got the chance.
Besides, Sungmin was tired of crying.
~*~
The first place Eunhyuk stopped by right after setting his foot outside the hospital wasn't the
school, but the police station. Leeteuk had offered to go with him as a moral support but Eunhyuk
felt old enough to handle his problems and face his mistakes on his own.
Eunhyuk hadn't told anyone of his friends except from Leeteuk that he would go to the police. The
principal knew and some teachers knew, but since this school was filled with teachers not
knowing how to shut up and students not knowing it was rude to eavesdrop a lot of students knew
too.
Soon Eunhyuk found himself sitting in the court with Leeteuk, his noona and his parents being
there to support him. Eunhyuk was surprised when seeing three of Heechul's friends there as
well, all of them looking both ashamed and embarrassed. And he got even more surprised when
all three told the judge, a skinny woman in short hair and with a look that could kill, that Eunhyuk
hadn't done anything except from just from being a silent witness. It was true, but the fact that his

hyungs would admit it still surprised him.

Leeteuk had been right, of course they wouldn't send a 17 year old boy to jail. However, what
Eunhyuk had done, even as just a silent witness, was still a crime and Eunhyuk got his
punishment: community service. It was embarrassing for someone like Eunhyuk hearing that and
it was a huge slap on his ego seriously, Lee Hyukjae? Eunhyuk? Community service? but he
was clever enough to not even think about arguing against the judge's decision.
~*~
Eunhyuk temporarily had to quit the school dance and skip his dance practices after school
because he had a new schedule now: school and then unpaid work. He spent his afternoons and
evenings picking up shit he hadn't thrown and clearing streets of snow, streets he knew wouldn't
pass. And just to make his life a little more miserable than it already was, he had to wear this
ridiculous, over-sized orange uniform which made people be able to spot him even in a large
crowd.
He also spent his afternoons and evenings alone, because he didn't tell anyone where he was
working. Both because he was embarrassed and because he didn't want to be distracted, to be
able to finish this shit as soon as possible. He wouldn't meet anyone after he was done either,
except from Sungmin since they shared room, because he would come back to the dorm
exhausted and head straight to bed.
So while standing there, picking up cigarette butts, candy wrappers and other disgusting things
this Friday evening Eunhyuk sighed loudly to himself. However, he had already decided he would
take his punishment like a man. There was a reason to why he was doing this in the first place
after all.
~*~*~*~
School had ended. Jessica, Siwon, Ryeowook and Kibum had decided to give Donghae his
Christmas present two days ago because they were all childishly impatient. They had been sitting
in the school cafeteria when Kibum gave Donghae a white envelope; showing off his perfect,
white teeth as he smiled and said it was from all four of them. Donghae had thanked them and
was about to say that they didn't had to but never got to finish that sentence.
Happiness, longing and love was inside that little piece of paper when Donghae opened the
envelope and saw two train tickets; one from Seoul to Mokpo and another from Mokpo to Seoul.
He didn't know how to thank his friends enough and even though hugs weren't enough for him to
express himself, he still hugged each one of them.
Siwon and Jessica left the same day school ended, like most students, after wishing their friends
a merry Christmas. Ryeowook left the day after that and Kibum the day after that.
So Donghae was alone now in his room, lying on his bed and facing the ceiling. A friend of
Eunhyuk had told him where Eunhyuk was working right now and Donghae was mind battling
with himself whether he should go and see him or not. He knew Eunhyuk wouldn't want him
there, but at the same time Donghae hadn't seen Eunhyuk except from in their classes, which
wasn't anything special. It wasn't like they were sitting next to each other, holding hands or
hugging. Nothing had changed between them when being in the classroom, except from the fact
that no one laughed at Donghae anymore or talked behind his back (which they used to do loud
enough for Donghae to hear).
Donghae and Eunhyuk's special time was not until after school, in the practice room where they
had one hour for themselves. But now with this Donghae had been practicing alone after school,
from 9p.m to 10p.m.

Donghae missed him.

Deciding that he could handle an angry Eunhyuk better than the feeling of wanting to see him,
Donghae got up from his bed and got dressed.
As soon as Donghae passed the school gate he bumped into Leeteuk and some other seniors. All
of them smiled at him and wished him a merry Christmas and when Leeteuk asked where
Donghae was going Donghae casually changed the subject and told that he would be able to
leave to Mokpo soon. Leeteuk smiled and ruffled Donghae's hair before giving his dongsaeng a
hug; telling him to have a great Christmas because he deserved it. Donghae promised he would.
He stayed there for a moment, watching as the seniors left with suitcases in their hands.
Donghae turned around and looked up.
He stared at the big banner hanging over the gate entrance and read SM Boarding School. The
banner itself still scared him, because it was so big it could be seen from a long distance. He
inspected the school area carefully; the mighty buildings, the snow, the few students who were
leaving. It was weird thinking about what he had been through in this place, when all he wanted in
the first place was to just be a normal teenager getting a good education.
Donghae chuckled to himself before he turned around and walked away.
**
He hadn't been out for that long but when turning his head to his right and seeing his own
reflection in a window he saw that his nose was already red. He smiled to himself when thinking
that the only thing left was for him to grow antlers. Tiny snowflakes were falling down in his brown
hair, his shoulders and face; decorating him completely like the rest of the city.
Seoul was white today.
His feet sank into the snow every time he would step somewhere and he hoped his shoes would
be thick enough to keep his socks dry and warm. Small clouds were born out of his mouth and
nose with every breath and he dug his nose deep into his thick scar and his hands in his pockets
because he hadn't bought any gloves yet. The city was decorated and people were in the middle
of Christmas shopping, running from one store to another; shopping bags in each hands.
This is so fucking humiliating. Eunhyuk hissed as he brutally stabbed the beautiful snow with the
shovel in his hands. His gloves made the shaft slippery which only annoyed him even more. Yes,
Eunhyuk had decided he would take his punishment like a man. That didn't change the fact that
this was the most boring and humiliating thing he had ever done. He had every right to complain
and hate his life. Fucking unbelievable...
Donghae came back to reality and turned to look at the dancer with a questioning look; tilting his
head to the side. Eunhyuk looked funny in his horrible, orange uniform. He had pulled his gray
toque down so it was almost covering his eyes; a weak and pointless attempt to hide his identity.
Donghae chuckled silently to himself; failing at keeping a straight face and Eunhyuk heard him
and immediately turned around, almost dropping the shovel; turning his anger from his duty to the
boy behind him.
What are you laughing at? he asked and glared at the younger one.
Nothing.

Thought so. Eunhyuk replied without looking at Donghae because he continued clearing the
way and he cursed under his breath once again.
You look cute in that uniform though. Donghae said and Eunhyuk just snorted, obviously not
taking that as a compliment.
Donghae decided to stay quiet, he didn't come here to disturb Eunhyuk. He just wanted to see
him and standing behind him in silence was far way better than being alone in the dorm and miss
him.
I'm spending Christmas in Mokpo. Donghae said.
Yes, he really didn't want to disturb Eunhyuk and he really wanted to shut up. But for Donghae
that was something that was easier said than done.
I thought you said you didn't have enough money to leave. Eunhyuk replied and before
Donghae had the time to answer Eunhyuk cursed out loud because he accidentally hit a big rock
he couldn't see because of the snow; gaining the attention of an old couple who glared at him and
said something about young people not knowing their manners.
I don't. My friends gave me train tickets as a Christmas present. Donghae said. Eunhyuk didn't
reply to that which made Donghae frown because either he hadn't heard him because he was too
concentrated in what he was doing or he simply wasn't listening because he didn't care.
When are you leaving? Eunhyuk asked after a while. During this whole conversation he had
been talking to Donghae with his back facing the younger, not giving him even a single glance
(except from the glare after hearing Donghae chuckle, but that didn't count).
Tomorrow.
Eunhyuk made a sound in the back of his throat to show that he was listening which made
Donghae smile. At least he cared.
Love didn't help Donghae when trying to figure out what was going on inside of Eunhyuk's mind.
There were still so many things to learn and so many things to tell. Donghae didn't know the
name of Eunhyuk's sister, who his first kindergarten crush was, what got him into dancing or what
his other hobbies were. He didn't know Eunhyuk's favorite color or favorite song or favorite food.
But Donghae knew how to communicate. He knew what to do to make Eunhyuk smile and he
knew what to say for Eunhyuk to let his guard down. That, in Donghae's opinion, meant a lot
more than knowing if Eunhyuk preferred blue over green or not.
I love you. Donghae suddenly said, his voice low, because those words were only meant for
Eunhyuk to hear.
Eunhyuk froze in his position for a moment, he wasn't expecting to hear that now of all times.
Without looking at Donghae, but still on the ground, he grinned gums and all. He made sure to
hide his smile before turning around; facing the younger one for the first time since Donghae got
here.
This whole thing was new and, to be honest, a little scary. It was scary how Donghae loved him
despite what had happened, despite what they had been through. It was scary how Donghae was
a guy, not a girl, and how people would look at them. And it was also scary how much Eunhyuk
trusted Donghae; how he knew in his heart that Donghae meant what he was saying, ever word
of it.

But maybe it was okay like this. You can't change the past, but the future could be a different
story.
Eunhyuk looked around; making sure people were minding their own business. The traffic light
turned green for the walkers; allowing them to pass the street, a young couple were holding on
each hand of their young daughter, an old woman passed with her dog. Without giving Donghae
time to ask what Eunhyuk was looking after, Eunhyuk leaned forward and kissed him. Their nose
touched because neither of them were tilting their head; Donghae was too surprised and
Eunhyuk's neck still hurt a little. The kiss was sweet and innocent, lips against lips and eyes
closed, and Donghae completely forgot winter as a comfortable warmness was being spread in
his body.
Eunhyuk had told Donghae he was sorry before; sorry for what he had done, sorry for what he
hadn't done, sorry for what he should have done... He felt like saying it again would only make the
word lose it's meaning and have a relationship based on I'm sorrys was nothing Eunhyuk was
interested in. He doubted Donghae wanted that either.
The older of the two was the first one to pull away and Donghae blushed when realizing they
were outside, in front of people, in daylight. He mumbled something under his breath about
Eunhyuk not doing that in public and that only made Eunhyuk smile proudly at what he just had
done and how shy and embarrassed he could manage Donghae to get.
Eunhyuk looked so cute, so playful and Donghae had to fight the urge to hug him tightly, tightly,
because there was still people around, Eunhyuk was working and also because Eunhyuk's body
was still sore. So instead they just stood there looking at each other in silence.
Eunhyuk wasn't sure if he was in love with Donghae. It wasn't a feeling he recognized. He didn't
regret stopping Heechul that cold day on the soccer field and he didn't regret letting the school
know he did it for Donghae. Maybe it was love, maybe it wasn't. All Eunhyuk knew was that he
cared about Donghae and he could actually see himself look past the fact that Donghae was a
guy and poor. He could see himself being loyal to him and wait for him when Donghae would go
back to Mokpo.
Donghae had said he loved him but Eunhyuk wasn't going to say that he loved him too. The
thought itself scared the shit out of him and even the slightest thought of saying it made his body
freeze and his heart forget to beat. But he didn't see why he had to force it out of his mouth.
Things had just gotten started and he still had time to get used to things, to learn.
Eunhyuk had indeed told Donghae he was sorry already, but there was one thing he hadn't said.
He tilted his head a little, a shy smile on his lips.
Thank you.
SM Boarding School
Epilogue
It had felt weird waking up in his own bed, without Siwon being there, and eat breakfast in his
kitchen with his mother and brother and not ten other students. At school Donghae always had
this mixed feeling that didn't make any sense; feeling both comfortable and happy because he
was living with his closest friends, but also feeling uncomfortable and misplaced. Kinda like a
mismatched piece of puzzle that simply didn't fit the pattern.
When he was in Mokpo, with his family and without his uniform, he had just felt... relaxed. He had
felt relaxed and it was just so unfamiliar. But of course, Donghae didn't complain. The time he
spent in Mokpo; the movies he watched with his brother and the food he cooked with his mom,
was more than he could have asked for.

Donghae didn't just visit his mother and hyung, but also a few old friends. He would usually leave
after lunch and always return before dinner because sure, he had missed his old classmates but
not even half as much as his family.
Donghae also visited his dad.
He had been standing there with flowers in his hand, in front of that big stone with tears in his
eyes but also a smile on his lips; a smile because he knew in his heart that his dad would be so
proud of him. He would be proud of Donghae getting this far by himself, proud of how much
Donghae had grown this year, over how strong he was, how determined he was to follow his
dreams.
He had crouched down, whispering I did it dad, before kissing two of his fingers and pressing
them to the cold stone.
Saying goodbye to his family was one of the hardest things Donghae had ever done. His mother
was crying which only made Donghae cry too. But Donghae thought it was alright, because he
knew he would never have to lie to them again if and when they asked how he was doing in
school and if he liked it there.
The sun was halfway down when Donghae walked under the huge banner; watching the
schoolyard filling up with people; students hugging each other after not seeing each other for a
while, laughing, joking and talking. He didn't see any familiar faces so just kept walking without
stopping.
Annyeonghaseyo. two girls said and smiled when Donghae walked past. It took a few seconds
for Donghae, who had been taken by surprise, to bow his head and reply their greeting.
The snow was slowly disappearing, leaving dark, slushy water behind and Donghae had to lift his
feet high to not get his socks wet. Suddenly the green bag hanging on Donghae's right shoulder
began to slide down, making Donghae lose his balance. To not fall he let the bag drop, letting the
other bag he was holding slip out of his other hand while he was at it.
Do you need help? a familiar voice asked and when Donghae looked up his eyes met a student
much taller than himself with short black hair and a friendly smile. Donghae smiled too, as
flashbacks from what felt like ages ago crossed his mind; a hot summer day in the beginning of
June, a huge school and a scary banner.
Thanks. Donghae said and gave Siwon one of his bags.
So, you're the new guy? Siwon joked as he took it and Donghae just laughed.
Shut up.
**
Their room looked exactly how Donghae had left it, not that Donghae expected anything else. It
never once crossed Donghae's mind that he would ever feel welcomed in this room. After all, it
would always be just one of many rooms in the boys' dorm. But as he walked up the stairs,
Donghae got this tiny feeling that maybe, just maybe, he actually missed this place. The familiar
scent of their room, the soft bed, the colors; he was so used to it that he'd found himself missing it

when he was in Mokpo.

Siwon helped Donghae unpack everything in his (now wet) bags; mostly clothes and books. They
exchanged stories about their vacation and, by the time they were done, they were already back
to their everyday life. Donghae was stretched out lazily on his bed as Siwon, true to form, pushed
his glasses up the bridge of his nose, devouring the book in his hand.
You really don't waste any time, do you? Donghae sighed, admiring Siwon's ability to study with
so much enthusiasm even before school had started.
Siwon just chuckled without looking up from his book. When he did, a couple of seconds later, he
saw Donghae lying on his back, his arms behind his head, eyes fixed on the white ceiling. He
could tell what Donghae was thinking about, knowing too that Donghae would need a little push
to gain courage.
The practice room is still open. he said randomly, eyes back to his book before Donghae turned
his head to look at him. Siwon simply nodded in the door's direction, and they both knew what
Siwon meant. What are you waiting for?
**
Last time he had seen Eunhyuk was a little more than three weeks ago. Since Donghae had left
they hadn't said a word to each other, not online or over the phone. Donghae hadn't dared to call
and of course Hyukjae wouldn't take the initiative in taking the first step. On Christmas eve
Donghae had gathered enough courage to send him a text message, Merry Christmas and
minutes later he received a reply You too. Merry Christmas. And that was all.
Of course Donghae had missed him; there was no denying in that. Donghae, however, wasn't
sure if Eunhyuk had missed him as well. It made him sad that the thought of Eunhyuk not missing
him at all didn't surprise him. But Eunhyuk loved him, right? He had said it himself. He knew they
wouldn't turn into Romeo and Juliet from one day to another (it's Lee Hyukjae we're talking
about), but that didn't prevent Donghae from dreaming. Cheesy dreams with Eunhyuk repeating
how much he loved him over and over again was what made Donghae sleep like a baby at night.

Compared to earlier in the day, there was hardly anyone outside when Donghae walked towards
the practice room. The cold was making his nose unattractively red and he dug his hands deep in
the pockets of his jacket to not freeze. Luckily for him the walk wasn't long. He opened the front
door of the tall building and got goosebumps when he was welcomed by a dark and cold corridor.
He hurried to the practice room (no, he wasn't scared. Really.) he had been in so many times
before. Finding the practice room was an easy task, because Donghae could find it even if he
walked inside the building blindfolded.
The only sound killing the uncomfortable silence was the pop music coming from said room, the
only room where light was peaking from the crack of the door. The music got louder and louder
for every step that Donghae took, just like his heart started to beat faster and faster. Standing in
front of the door, he slowly opened it; having to peer for a second to let his eyes adjust to the
sudden light.
The music wasn't ridiculously loud, but still loud enough for Eunhyuk to not hear Donghae
entering the room. He didn't seem to notice him either despite the huge mirror, but that didn't
surprise Donghae. Deciding to not interrupt him just yet, Donghae took off his thick scarf and
jacket and, leaving them on the floor before quietly sitting down a few feet away, back against the

wall and legs bent on the knees.

The dancer was wearing a black tank and gray sweatpants that didn't cover the small of the leg.
Donghae knew he had missed him, of course he had, but seeing him in person stirred up other
feelings in his body, as if it had been ages since he'd last saw him. He didn't want to hug or kiss
the dancer. No, he just wanted sit down for a moment and just watch him; watch how he moved,
how he was just... being himself.
Donghae had tried to erase the horrible images from his head, the images of Eunhyuk lying
helplessly, bleeding and balancing over the thin line between life and death. He tried not to think
of how Eunhyuk's body had felt so lifeless and how Donghae had been this close to losing him.
But Eunhyuk had recovered almost completely now, merely having a few, almost invisible, scars
on his arms and face. But his legs, hips and arms moved like they had never been touched, never
harmed.
When Eunhyuk lost concentration and rhythm Donghae knew he had seen him. He smiled at him
and received a tiny smile in response, one Eunhyuk was trying to suppress before the other
walked over to turn the music off.
How was your Christmas? Donghae asked as Eunhyuk walked over to his own bag, beside the
stereo, and took out a bottle of water. The dancer's reply was just a quick shrug of his shoulders.
He was standing on the opposite wall, close to the mirror and looking at Donghae through the
mirror's reflection.
Mine was amazing. Donghae said, a peaceful and content expression on his face just from
thinking back at it. My mom was really sad at the train station when I was boarding it to come
back here.
Eunhyuk still didn't say anything, but kept his eyes on Donghae to show that he was listening.
We're doing a lot better now, because hyung finally got promoted. So the atmosphere and all at
home was amazing. Donghae sighed heavily and Eunhyuk could see he was sad over the fact
that he was back in Seoul. Her food was awesome. I had almost forgotten how real food, cooked
by a mom, tasted like. Donghae continued and laughed a little to himself.
Eunhyuk thought it was amusing how Donghae could have a complete conversation with himself
without even noticing it, because Eunhyuk still hadn't said anything. He grinned a little but was
quick to hide it, deciding to play a little and see how long it would take 'til Donghae would notice
this was a one-sided conversation. So instead of looking at Donghae, he looked at the mirror;
taking a few steps forward before starting to fix his hair with one hand.
I think I gained some weight now. Donghae said and looked down at his stomach. Eunhyuk
chuckled soundlessly. I mean, I didn't practice or anything while I was there. And I ate so much.
The pout on the younger one's lips as he was looking down at his tummy was adorable and
Eunhyuk had to focus to not grin like an idiot. It was hard, but he succeeded.
And one day this really weird thing happened. Donghae suddenly said, eyes back to Eunhyuk
and the dancer asked himself if he would lose his patience and talk before Donghae would notice
he hadn't said anything. I met an old friend and he was gonna sleep at my place and then during
the night he wanted us to get some snacks and
Finally.
You're not listening, are you?

Eunhyuk dropped the hand he was using to fix his hair and looked at his classmate without
turning around. He chuckled without Donghae hearing him. That took him a while.
No. he said simply.
His voice made Donghae's heart jump in happiness and caused the butterflies in his stomach to
flutter their wings even faster. Too bad the first thing he would say after three weeks wasn't hello
or I've missed you or How have you been?, but a cold and short no.
The younger of the two pouted, a frown visible on his forehead when he crossed his arms in
disapproval and glared at the other. But then he couldn't do anything other than sigh loudly. For a
moment he seemed to have forgotten who this person actually was. This was Eunhyuk.
It's not my fault. Eunhyuk said. You talk too much. And most of the time it's not even important.
Donghae felt himself drop his jaw. What a welcome.
Sometimes I wonder if you really do love me. he sighed as dramatically as he possible could;
hoping that at least that sentence (and sigh) would make the dancer a little softer.
Yeah, Eunhyuk said casually. I have a hard time believing it myself.
Yep, this was indeed Eunhyuk. Welcome back, Donghae.
So mean... he muttered under his breath and the way his lips tensed and how he turned his
head to not look at the other made Eunhyuk all happy and stupid.
Eunhyuk drank the last what was left of the water in his bottle in one go before walking over to the
right side of the room where he had left his bag. He bent down and opened it to leave the empty
bottle there. When he looked up he saw that Donghae had stopped sulking and was just silently
watching him, as if waiting for Eunhyuk to do something. Probably just approach.
And Eunhyuk did, after searching and finding something in his bag. He walked over to Donghae
Donghae's eyes following his every move before crouching down in front of him. He gave what
he had in his right hand to him, a small box, and the needed blood for mental work took its time to
reach Donghae's head. Donghae widened his eyes; eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
What's that? he asked, after a few seconds in silence, eyes on the little black box in Eunhyuk's
hand.
Eunhyuk rolled his eyes. He and stupid questions never got along well.
It's a Tyrannosaurus Rex. he answered and considered not giving Donghae the gift at all. I
found him on the street and thought he might want a place to stay over the night.
Donghae, already knowing that patience and muting certain things were the best ways to handle
the dancer, took the little box from Eunhyuk's hand. He observed it closely and glanced up at
Eunhyuk before opening it.
A simple silver ring was inside the box and Donghae could swear he would die of happiness and
surprise. Those dreams where Eunhyuk drowned him in lovely dovey words were suddenly so
tiny, so insignificant.
When his eyes went from the ring to look at the dancer, they stopped at the dancer's hand and he
realized Eunhyuk was wearing a similar ring.

You have it too. Donghae said, being more convinced in each second that passed that, yes, he
would not survive this day.
I didn't notice. Thanks for the remark. Eunhyuk responded, because saying you're welcome
was from another universe. He sat down beside Donghae, his back also against the wall.
Donghae tilted his head and smiled, eyes and lips not expressing anything but pure happiness,
reflecting how much this little gesture actually meant for him. It made the dancer uncomfortably
shy (of course it wasn't something he would ever admit, not even if his life depended on it). The
young boy raised his arms to hug Eunhyuk and was about to move his head to the dancer's
shoulder when Eunhyuk stopped him by kissing him.
Eunhyuk pulled Donghae's arms a little, telling him to move closer and Donghae did; moving to sit
on Eunhyuk's lap, his knees on either side of Eunhyuk's thighs. He felt Eunhyuk's hands move to
touch his face, his fingertips moving to caress Donghae's soft cheeks. When he did, Eunhyuk
kissed him even more, even deeper, pulling Donghae's face even closer to his own. Maybe,
Donghae thought, just maybe, Eunhyuk had missed him just as much as Donghae had missed
him.
Donghae pushed back against Eunhyuk's lips; Eunhyuk's head touching the wall, and the kiss
that at first was slow and innocent turned into something more needy, longing, as if their bodies
were promising each other to never be away from the other for so long.
Donghae was the first one to pull away, partly because his lungs were demanding to get some
oxygen but also because he hadn't forgotten about what was still in his hand. His attention went
from Eunhyuk to the little box. He took out the ring and reached for his jacket to place the empty
little box in his pocket. The ring slipped on his finger easily and Donghae observed it for a
moment; loving the meaning this little piece of jewelery had, before leaning forward to kiss the
boy in front of him again.
When someone knocked the door Donghae froze; breaking the kiss as his head immediately
turned towards the direction of the door. He was about to move away but Eunhyuk grabbed his
waist to stop him from getting up.
What? Eunhyuk asked, his eyes also turning to look at the door.
I really hope you're dressed. another voice both males had no problems in recognizing said;
causing Eunhyuk to chuckle and Donghae to blush. He made another attempt to get up but
Eunhyuk's hands wouldn't let him.
Give us a second. Eunhyuk replied and Donghae widened his eyes before punching Eunhyuk's
shoulder.
A loud Ew! was heard from the other side of the door.
I'm kidding, you idiot. Eunhyuk chuckled and the door opened, revealing a cute boy in the same
age, with the eyes of an angel and short light brown hair. But Donghae knew this guy was
anything but cute and angelic.
Sungmin stared at the two males for a second, eying them awkwardly before sighing to himself
and shaking his head. He pointed behind him with his thumb. We're leaving to get something to
eat. he said, for a second looking at Donghae before looking back at his friend again. Are you
coming?
The fact that he said we made it obvious he wasn't alone, and Donghae felt even more
uncomfortable and awkward when knowing that Shindong and probably Junsu too were standing

behind babyface. He felt Eunhyuk let go of his waist to let him get up, before standing up himself.
Sure. Eunhyuk said and walked over to get his bag.
Donghae couldn't help but feel sad over the fact that a beautiful moment just went straight to hell.
And Eunhyuk leaving him for his friends didn't make him much happier. He hadn't hoped for a
romantic night with roses and candlelight, but just to spend some time with Eunhyuk now that he
finally got to see him. He sighed in his mind as he grabbed his jacket, utterly surprised when
Eunhyuk grabbed his hand and started walking towards his friend without showing any signs of
letting go of his hand.
Are you coming too? Sungmin asked, surprised, before seeing the confused look on Donghae's
face and turning to ask Eunhyuk instead. Is he coming too?
Yes. was the simple answer as Hyukjae walked past his three friends with Donghae's hand in
his own.
Donghae was walking without protesting, his mind was still in the process of registering what the
heck was happening. He looked down at their hands; their fingers weaved together and a silver
ring decorating their ring finger. In his own little way Eunhyuk was whispering lovely dovey words
to him and Donghae decided that he didn't need to dream about a unrealistic Hyukjae, because
he loved him like this, the real Hyukjae.
The three friends behind the couple hadn't moved an inch or even said anything. Shindong and
Junsu turned to look at Sungmin, as if they were waiting for him to decide whether this was okay
or unacceptable. Sungmin just shrugged his shoulders.
As long as they keep their clothes on and hands in place we're cool. Sungmin said started to
walk too. Both males behind him chuckled, agreeing that it was a good deal, and followed him.