OtherbooksbyProfessorSolomon:

http://www.professorsolomon.com

HowtoFind
LostObjects
byProfessorSolomon

Copyright1993,2008byTopHatPress
Allrightsreserved

DrawingsbySteveSolomon
PhotographsbyBradFowlerandLeonardSolomon
TheauthorthanksLarryCallahanandElizabethMinter
for theirassistance.

ISBN0912509058

http://www.professorsolomon.com

TopHatPress
BALTIMORE

Table

of

Contents

1.

AMethodThatWorks

ThisBooksforYou .........................................................3

TheFacts ........................................................................5

GettingStarted................................................................7

2.
ThePrinciples
TheTwelvePrinciples....................................................10

PRINCIPLE ONE: DontLookforIt ...................................12

PRINCIPLE TWO: ItsNotLostYou Are ...........................14

PRINCIPLE THREE: RemembertheThreeCs....................16

PRINCIPLE FOUR: ItsWhereItsSupposedtoBe ..............18

PRINCIPLE FIVE: DomesticDrift ......................................20

PRINCIPLE SIX: YoureLookingRightatIt .......................22

PRINCIPLE SEVEN: TheCamouage Effect .......................24

PRINCIPLE EIGHT: ThinkBack ........................................26

PRINCIPLE NINE: LookOnce,LookWell .........................28

PRINCIPLE TEN: TheEurekaZone...................................30

PRINCIPLE ELEVEN: TailThyself .......................................32

PRINCIPLE TWELVE: ItWasntYou ....................................34

Quiz..............................................................................35

OneMorePrinciple........................................................38

3.

TheWaytoSearch

BetsyFindsHerKeys .....................................................42

4.

TheArtofFinding

AtMyDoor..................................................................66

HowtoProceed ............................................................69

TenTips........................................................................71

CommonMistakestoBeware .........................................75

TheBermuda TriangleMyth .........................................79

TheSly Approach ..........................................................83

HowtoMakeaThinkingCap.......................................85

Eureka!..........................................................................87

ThePurloinedLetter.....................................................90

TheGamesAfoot .........................................................92

FreudsFee ....................................................................94

Hrnir...........................................................................95

ATrueAccount .............................................................96

5.

ThisandThat

SomeQuotes................................................................101

MissingLuggage..........................................................102

HowNottoLoseThings ..............................................103

TheLastPlace.............................................................104

AConsumersGuidetoDetectionDevices ...................105

AlternativeMethods....................................................109

SaintAnthony ..............................................................112

HashevatAveida ...........................................................114

AZen Koan...................................................................115

Wannamoho.................................................................116

AFinalWord ...............................................................122

CERTIFICATE ...................................................................124

1.
AMethod
ThatWorks

ThisBooksForYou

Youvelostyourcarkeys,andareabouttoloseyour
mind.
Youvelookedeverywherehavetornyourhouse
apartbutcantndthosekeys.
Yourdayhasgroundtoahalt.Yourlifeisonhold.
Aglazedlookhascomeintoyoureye.Youregoing
nuts!
Allbecauseofamissingsetofkeys.
You begin another search. Like a wild man, you
rummagethroughroomafterroom.Halfanhour
later,theystillhaventturnedup.Youthrowyour
selfonthesofaandgroan:Thisisridiculous!

Sir,howdidyoundthatelusivecheckbook?

Why,simple,hereplieswithamodestsmile.By

applyingtheTwelvePrinciples.

TheTwelvePrinciples?

Thatsright.AsoutlinedinHOW TO FIND LOST OBJECTS

byProfessorSolomon.

Andhecontinuesonhiswaywhileyouareabout

toresumethefrantichuntforyourkeys.

Butmaybe its time that you, too, checked out

thoseTwelvePrinciples.

Maybeyoureready,afteralltheseyears,tobecome

aFinder,notaLoser.

Ifyouthinkyoumightbeifyoureseriouslyinter

estedin locatingwhatyoulose thisbooksforyou.

Finally,youcheckyourpocket.Forthekeys?No,
forthebusfareyouregoingtoneedtogettowork.
Itscometothat.
Talkaboutfeelingfoolish.
Meanwhile,yourneighborhasmislaidhischeck
book.
Less than a minute later, he has found it, and is
coollywalkingouthisfrontdoor.
Howdidhedoit?Howdidheavoidthefrustra
tionthe inconveniencethe loss of timeso
oftencausedbymisplacedobjects?
Letsaskhim.
3

TheFacts

Youngandold,richandpoor,cityfolksandfarm
erswereallconstantlylosingthings.
Its an ageold problemas old as the pyramids.
Andonethatsnotabouttogoaway.

Yes,lostobjectscanbefound.

Howisitdone?
Byfollowingmymethod.
Interested?
Readon.

Everydaymillionsofobjectsaremisplacedinthe
UnitedStates.Amongthemarewallets,rings, keys,
scissors, sweaters, notebooks, eyeglasses, theatre
tickets, important documentsyou name it. (A
circuselephantissaidtohavebeenlostrecentlyin
Florida!)Manyoftheseobjectsareneverrecovered
possiblyabilliondollarsworthannually.(Their
sentimentalvalue,ofcourse,isincalculable.)Even
moredisturbingisthetimespentlookingforsuch
objects.Theaveragepersoncouldspendupto two
months ofhislifesearchingoftenfruitlesslyfor
thingshehaslost.
Thentheresthenuisancefactorassociatedwith
missingobjects.Thecarsthatcantbestarted.The
booksthatcantberead.Thebusinessthatcantbe
conducted.MillionsofAmericansexperiencesuch
frustrationsdaily.Itissomethingthattoucheseach
ofourlives,andthatcanmakeanightmareofan
ordinarydaythatcandriveustodistraction!
Buttheincrediblefactisthis:
Eachandeveryone ofthoseobjectsthetickets,the
eyeglasses,theelephantcouldhavebeenfound.
Easily.Withinminutes.
5

GettingStarted

Mymethodisunique,amazing,andeasytolearn.
ItisbasedonwhatIcalltheTwelvePrinciplesa
setofpreceptsdesignedtoleadyou directly toany
lostobject.Likeabloodhound!
I discovered these principles after years of bitter
experience.ForI,too,wasonceaLoserandaWeeper.
I,too,wasconstantlybeingmockedbymisplaced
keys,books,manuscripts,pajamatops.Mycapwould
vanish.Mypenwouldhidefromme.Thelistwas
endless.

tionsthatseemparticularlyrelevanttoyourown

misplacementprole.

Then,thenexttimeyoulosesomething,openthis

bookandmaketheTwelvePrinciplesworkforyou.

Icanalmostguaranteetheywill.

Areyouready?

Letslearnhowtondlostobjects.

OntothePrinciples.

ButthenIrealizedthatlostobjects can befound.

Ifthesearchisconductedsystematically,andmind
fulofafewbasicideas.
ItwasntlongbeforeIwasndingmythingswith
an ease that seemed miraculous. Yet no psychic
powers,expensiveequipment,orspecialskillswere
involved. Simply a method. I also began to help
friends nd their lost items. Astounded at the
results,theyurgedmetowritethisbook.
Youllbeastounded,too,asmissingobjectsvirtu
ally lineup tobefound!
I recommend that you start by reading the book
throughfrombeginningtoend.Introduceyourself
tothePrinciples.FollowBetsyasshesearchesfor
herkeysthewrongwayandtherightway.Geta
feelformytipsandtechniques.Andmarkanysec
7

TheTwelve Principles

Mymethodisbasedonthe TwelvePrinciplesaset
of fundamentalguidelines forndinglostobjects.
TheTwelvePrinciplesare:

2.
The
Principles

1.DontLookforIt
2.ItsNotLostYou Are
3.RemembertheThreeCs
4. ItsWhereItsSupposedtoBe
5.DomesticDrift
6.YoureLookingRightatIt
7.TheCamouflageEffect
8. ThinkBack
9. LookOnce,LookWell
10. TheEurekaZone
11. TailThyself
12. ItWasntYou
ThesePrinciplesarethecoreofmymethod.Soget
acquaintedwiththem.Learnthem.Masterthem.
Then,wheneversomethingcantbefound,simply
applythePrinciples.
Soletsgetrightintothem.

10

PRINCIPLEONE

DontLookforIt
Somethingslost,andyourrstthoughtyourbasic
instinctistolookforit.Yourereadytostartrum
maging about. To hunt for it in a random, and
increasinglyfrenetic,fashion.Toransackyourown
house.
This is the most common mistake people make.
Anditcandoomtheirsearchfromthestart.
Iknowyoureeagertondthatlostitem.Butnot
yet.Dontlookforityet.
Waituntilyouhavesomeidea where tolook.

12

PRINCIPLETWO

ItsNotLostYou Are
Have you ever stopped to think that maybe its
you thatarelostnotthosekeysorthatumbrella?
Becauseafundamentaltruthisthis:
There are no missing objects. Only unsystematic
searchers.
Acceptthatcopyitdownandtapeittoyourmir
rorandyoullsoonbendingthingswithease.

14

PRINCIPLETHREE

RemembertheThreeCs
To nd a lost object, you must be in the proper
frameofmind.Andthatmeanspayingattentionto
theThreeCs.
Theyare:
COMFORT
Startbymakingyourselfcomfortableinanarm
chairorsofa.Haveacupoftea,perhaps,orastick
ofgum.
CALMNESS
Next,emptyyourmindofanyunsettlingthoughts.
Pretendthattheseaislappingatyourfeet.Orthat
youresittinginagardenfullofbirdsandowers.
CONFIDENCE
Finally, tell yourself you will locate that missing
object.(Toenhanceyourcondence,youmightwant
todonathinkingcap.Seeinstructionsonhowto
makeone.)

Nowyoureready.Tobegina systematic search.

16

PRINCIPLEFOUR

ItsWhereItsSupposedtoBe
Believeitornot,thingsareoftenrightwheretheyre
supposedtobe.
Isthereaplacewhereyourmissingobjectisnor
mallykept?Aparticularrack,orshelf,ordrawer?
Ifso,lookthererst.Youmayactuallyhavehung
upyourcoatlastnight.Orputthedictionaryback
ontheshelf.Orreturnedthetapemeasuretothe
tooldrawer.
Evenifyoudidnt,someonemayhavedoneitfor
you.

18

PRINCIPLEFIVE

DomesticDrift
Manyobjectsdohaveadesignatedorcustomary
placewheretheyarekept.Buttherealityisthat
theyarentalwaysreturnedthere.Instead,theyare
left whereverlastused.
SuchobjectshaveundergoneDomesticDrift.They
couldbeanywhereinthehouse,oroutintheyard.
Relax.Getcomfortable.Pouryourselfacupofcof
fee.
Nowtrytoremember.Wherewereyoulastusing
thatpliers,ortapemeasure,orfountainpen? Where
didyoulast have it?
Becausethatspreciselywhereitstillmaybe.

20

PRINCIPLESIX

YoureLookingRightatIt
Allright.Youcheckedwhereitssupposedtobe,
whereitwaslastused,orwhereitmighthavebeen
casuallytossed.Anditwasntthere.
Orwasit?
Itispossibletolook directly atamissingobjectand
notseeit.Thisisduetotheagitatedstateofmind
thatoftenaccompaniesamisplacement.Goback
andlookagain.Itmaybestaringyouintheface.
Occasionally,ourdistressissuchthatnotonlydo
weoverlookanobjectweforgetwhatwerelook
ingfor!Toavoidthis,repeatedlymurmurthename
oftheobject.(Potholder,potholder,potholder.)
Butwhytheagitation?Haveweforgottenthesec
ondC?Returntoyourarmchairandgetcalm.

22

PRINCIPLESEVEN

TheCamouageEffect
Dontbefooled.Yourobjectmayberightwhere
youthoughtitwasbutithasbecomehiddenfrom
view. Besuretocheckunderanythingthatcould
be covering yourobject,havinginadvertentlybeen
placedontopofit.
IcallthistheCamouageEffect.Amongthemost
commonoffendersarenewspapersandsombreros.

24

PRINCIPLEEIGHT

ThinkBack
Youwerethereatthesceneofthemisplacement.
Youweretherewhentheobjectwasputdown
wasleftinanobscurelocationwasconsignedto
oblivion.
Youweretherebecauseyoudidit!
Soyoumusthaveamemoryhoweverfaintof
wherethishappened.
Areyoupreparedto thinkback,andretrievethat
memory?
Ifso,youmaysoonbecryingoutOfcourse!and
makingabeelinetothatforgottenplace.

26

PRINCIPLENINE

LookOnce,LookWell
Dontgoaroundincircles.Onceyouvecheckeda
site,dontgobackandcheckagain.Nomatterhow
promisingasiteiftheobjectwasnttheretherst
time,itwontbetherethesecond.
Assuming, of course, that your first check was
thorough.

28

PRINCIPLETEN

TheEurekaZone
Themajorityoflostobjectsarerightwhereyoug
ureonceyoutakeamomenttostopandgure.
Others,however,areinthe immediatevicinity ofthat
place.Theyhaveundergoneadisplacementashift
inlocationthat,althoughminor,hasservedtoren
dertheminvisible.
Someexamples:
Apencilhasrolledbeneathatypewriter.
Atoolhasbeenshovedtotherearofadrawer.
A book on a shelf has gotten lodged behind other
books.
Afolderhasbeenmisled,severalfoldersawayfrom
whereitbelongs.

Objectsareapttowander.Ihavefound,though,
thattheytendtotravelnomorethaneighteeninches
fromtheiroriginallocation.Tothecircledescribed
bythiseighteeninchradiusIhavegivenaname.I
callittheEurekaZone.
With the aid of a ruler (or a EurekaStiksee
later), determine the Eureka Zone of your lost
object.Thenexploreit.Meticulously.

30

PRINCIPLEELEVEN

TailThyself
Ifyoustillhaventfoundyourobject,itmaybetime
toRecreatetheCrime.
Removeyourthinkingcapanddonyourdetectives
cap.Foryouareaboutto followyourowntrail.
Letscreateatypicalscenario.Youcomehomefrom
workandndaletterinthemail.Sometimelater
yourereadytoreaditbutitsmissing.Youreper
turbedandperplexed.Wheresthatletter?
Okay,startatthedoorandretraceyourstepssince
returninghome.Whereinthehousedidyougo?
Towhatspeciclocations?Stopateachofthemand
lookfortheletter.
Hmm,acoatthrownacrossachair.Youwerehere.
(Checkunderthecoatandinitspockets.)
Adepressioninthesofa.Youwerehere.
Onthekitchencounter,aglass.Youwerehere.
Onthetablebythearmchair,candywrappersand
anovel.Youwerehere.
Andmarkingyourplaceinthenovelaha!That
missingletter.
Goodwork,gumshoe.
32

PRINCIPLETWELVE

ItWasntYou
Whenallelsehasfailed,explorethepossibilitythat
yourobjecthasntbeenmisplaced.Rather,itsbeen
misappropriated.
Perhaps someone you know has borrowed your
umbrella.Oreatenyourdoughnut.Ortakenyour
magazineintoanotherroom.
Approach that person and inquire if such might
not be the case. (Have you by any chance seen
my?isatactfulwaytophrasethis.)

34

8.Therearetwelvemonthsintheyear,twelvemembersof

Quiz

ajury,twelvesignsofthezodiac,andNinePrinciplesfor
ndinglostobjects.
true

LetsseeifyouhavemasteredthePrinciples.Check
trueorfalsetoeachofthefollowingstatements:

false

Whenyouhavecompletedthequiz,turnthepage.

1. Ifyoumisplacesomething,searchyourentirehousefor
it.Dosoinafrenzied,unsystematicfashion.Do not use
theTwelvePrinciples.
true

false

2. Nevercheckunderasombreroforamissingobject.
true

false

3.TheThreeCsareConfusion,Consternation,andDis
comfort.
true

false

4.TheEurekaZoneisamountainousareaoftheYukon,in
whichgoldwasdiscoveredin1848.
true

false

5. Poltergeists,gremlins,andothersupernaturalbeingsare
responsibleforthemajorityoflostobjects.
true

false

6. DomesticDriftisatermusedbybureaucrats,toreferto
housesthatoatoffduringaood.
true

false

7. Amisplacedelephantcannotbefound.
true

false
35

36

OneMorePrinciple

Thefollowingprincipleisaspecialone.
Icallitthe THIRTEENTH PRINCIPLE. AndIhavekeptit
apart from the others to underscore its use in a
certaindiresituationonly.
Thesituationisthis: Youveappliedeachof theTwelve
Principles,andstillhaventfoundyourobject.
Thatshouldrarelyhappen.Butwhenitdoes,you
havearecoursetheTHIRTEENTH PRINCIPLE.
Okay,turnthepageandtakealook.
If you answered false to each of the eight
questions,congratulations!Youhavemastered
theTwelvePrinciples.Welcometotheranksof
thosewholocatewhattheylose.

37

38

THETHIRTEENTH

PRINCIPLE

QuSer,Ser
HaveyoubeenapplyingthePrinciples?Ifso,you
shouldhavefoundyourobjectbynow.
Butoccasionally,Fatechoosestoseparateusfrom
oneofourpossessions.Whenthatseemstobethe
case,itstimeto calloffthesearch.
Yourmissingobjectmayeventuallyturnup.Until
then,acceptthatyouarebeingofferedalesson:in
patienceorhumilityornonattachmenttothe
thingsofthisworld.
Andifnot,sowhat?Lostkeys,books,eyeglasses
evenelephants!canbereplaced.Suchlossesare
inconvenientandvexing.Yetsurelytheyhavetheir
placeintheinscrutableeconomyoftheUniverse.
Youvedonewhatyoucan.Sorelax,andwitha
shrugofresignationacceptthefateofyourobject.
Quser,ser.Whatwillbe,willbe.

40

BetsyFindsHerKeys

LetsfollowBetsyassheconductsasearchrst
thewrongway,thentherightway!

3.
TheWay
toSearch

BetsyreadsProfessorSolomons HOW TO FIND LOST

OBJECTS. She is intrigued by his method, and is
sureitwillsomedaycomeinhandy.
42

Afewdayslater,sheisabouttoleaveforwork,
whenshecantndherkeys.

Theymustbeinhere,shemutters,andempties
herbriefcaseontheoor.

43

44

Nope.

Shelookseverywhere.

45

46

47

48

Where are they?shewonders.

Hastheshgotthem?

49

50

Urghh!

Shesgoingnuts.

51

52

ItsProfessorSolomon,
53

takingastroll.
54

Ofcourse,saysBetsy.Iforgotallabouthismethod.
TheTwelvePrinciples!Mykeysarentlost, I am.

Shebeginsbyapplyingthe3Cs.

55

56

ThenitsTailThyself.

Betsyclosesinonthoseelusivekeys.

57

58

DeterminingherEurekaZone.

Exploringit.

59

60

Eureka!

Shesmightypleased.

61

62

Anditsofftowork.

Nexttime,saysBetsy,IlltrytheTwelvePrin
ciples rst.

63

64

AtMy Door

4.
TheArt
ofFinding

Peopleshowupatmydoor,tellmetheyvelostthis

orthatvitalpossession,andpleadwithmetohelp

themndit.

Iaskthem:Whatwastherstthingyoudidwhen

yourealizeditwasmissing?

Theyshrugandreply:Ilookedaroundthehouse

forit.

Ithoughtso,Isay,shakingmyheadsadly.Well,

youcommittedtheBasicBlunder.Neverlookaround

foralostobject.

Thatthrowsthemforaloop.Theystareatmeand

mutter:Dontlookaroundforit?

Youheardme.

ThenwhatamIsupposedtodo?

FollowmeandIllshowyou.

I take them into the yard, where I make myself

comfortableinalawnchair.

This is how, I say to them. How I nd lost

objects.

Butyourejustsittingthere.

Notatall.Imhardatwork.

Thatswork?

Indeeditis.Imtryingtondyourlostobject.

Youare?Buthow?

ByapplyingtheThreeCs:Comfort,Calmness,

66

genie were at your command, magically locating

yourobject.Yetnomagicwillbeinvolvedjusta
method.
Amethodthatworks.

andCondence.Bytheway,whatsizeheaddoyou
have?Wellwanttomakeyouathinkingcap.
Atthispoint,manygrowdubiousandleave.Inever
seethemagain.Othersdecidetostickaround and
learnmymethod.
Ifyouvecomethisfarinthebook,youreobviously
amongthelatter.YouvemasteredtheTwelvePrin
ciples,andarereadynowforacomprehensivelook
attheartofnding.
Thesectionsthatfollowwilldealwithavarietyof
lostobjectsituations.Studythesesections.Become
familiar with the ins and outs of nding. Get a
practicalsenseofwhatitsallabout.
Then, the next time you lose something, you
shouldbeabletonditwithease.Itwillbeasifa
67

68

HowtoProceed

Howshouldyougoaboutusingmymethod?What
specicstepsshouldyoutake,inordertorecover
yourobject?Howexactlyisasearchtobeconduct
ed?

Instead,heiscoolandcollected.Hesitsandponders,
likeapoetlostinreverie.Helistenstomemories,
brainstorms,hunches.Andhesearcheswithcon
dence.
Butmostofall,he appliesthePrinciples.
IfyouproceedasIhaveoutlined,youshouldhave
notroubleintrackingdownyourobject.

Theresnooneanswertothat.Findingisanart;
andeveryFinderdevelopsastyleanapproach
a modus operandiof his own. Moreover, every
misplacementisunique,andmustbesolvedinan
ad hoc fashion. But basically, heres what I tell
people:
Sitdown,makeyourselfcomfortable,takeadeep
breathortwoand ponder.Askyourself:Where is
thatobject?Inwhatobviousplace?Trytorecallor
gureoutitswhereabouts.Andthemosteffective
means of doing that? The Twelve Principles, of
course.Simplygothroughthem,onebyone,and
seewheretheyleadyou.(Ifyouhaventyetmemo
rizedthePrinciples,positionmybookinfrontof
you.Itsbeendesignedtolieat,opentoapartic
ularPrinciplewhileyousipcoffee,think,scratch
yourhead,rereadthePrinciple,stareoffintospace,
sigh,rackyourbrains,etc.)
Whenapossiblelocationpopsintomind,gocheck
itout.Ifitsadud,returntoyourseatandcontinue
asabove.
Remember,yourframeofmindduringthisprocess
iscritical.Anxiety,selfreproach,hasteaFinder
willhavenothingtodowithsuchDefeatFactors.
69

70

TenTips

4.

Oneofthemostcommonrecoveryareasforlost
objectsistheautomobile.Yourobjectmaysimply
belyingonthecarseat,whereyouleftit.Oritmay
have become wedged between cushions, or have
fallenontheoor.Ifyouweretravelinginanauto
mobile,checktheseplaces.(Andremember,check
thoroughly. A cursory examination can be disas
trousaswillbeexplainedinCommonMistakes
toBeware.)

Areyouoneofthosepeoplewholiketosprawlon
thesofa?Andyourwalletwhichyoucarryina
pantspocketismissing?Maybeitfelloutonthe
sofa.Golook.
Itshouldbenotedthatdroppingthingsisnotthe
same as misplacing them: no lapse of memory is
involved.Soifasetofkeyshasfallenfromyour
pocket, or an earring from your ear, most of the
Principleswillnotberelevant.Onethatwillbe,
however,isTailThyself.Simplyfollowyourtrail
aboutthehouse,closelyexaminingtheoor,stairs,
seatcushions,etc.

2.

5.

1.

Instead of being where its supposed to be, your

objectmaybewhere somethingelse issupposedto
be.Whathappenedwasamentallapse,inwhich
oneroutinemotiongotsubstitutedforanother.For
example,yourscissorsarenormallykeptinajaron
thekitchencounter;butmindlessly,youreturned
themtothetooldrawer.

Toreducethelikelihoodofamisplacement,andto
facilitateanysearchesthatbecomenecessary,keep
yourhomeneatandorderly.Rememberthemaxim:
A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE.

6.

Whatwereyouwearingwhenyoulastremember
havingtheobject?Thinkback,thengosearchthe
pocketsofthoseclothes.Andbemeticuloussearch
every pocket.Theoneyouskipcouldbetheone
youreafter.

If a loss is thought to have occurred outside the

home,sitdownandreviewyourmovementsdur
ingtheday.Thentelephonearound,toseewhether
the item has been found. If its a wallet, bag, or
briefcasethatmayhavebeenleftinastore,have
them check near the cash register: while paying,
youmayhaveputitdown,thenleftitbehind.Or
ifyoudroppedsomething,agoodSamaritanmay

71

72

3.

havefounditandleftitwiththecashier.Inthecase
ofinstitutionsschools,communitycenters,the
atresaskiftheyhavealostandfound.
Shouldthisphonesearchprovefruitless(ornotbe
feasible),leavethehouseandreturntotheloca
tionsyouvisitedduringtheday.Ateachofthem
retraceyourstepskeepingasharpeyeoutforthe
object.
Butremember:neitheroftheaboveshouldbere
sorted to prematurely. First search your house
search yourownimmediatesurroundings. Forthats
usuallywhereamissingobjectis. Dont racebackin
apanictothesupermarketonlytodiscoveryour
wallet tucked away in the wrong section of your
purse.

7.

9.

As you sit and ponder the whereabouts of a lost

object,yourstateofmindshouldbelikethatofa
daydreamer:relaxedandcontemplative.Butwhen
yougetuptogocheckasite, shiftgears.Bealert,
energetic,andthoroughyoureadetectivenow.

10.

Wherehasthisobjectbeenfoundbefore?Towhat
location does it seem to gravitate? Where has it
turnedupagainandagain?
Routinely,objectsaremislaidinthesameplace
thesameobviousplace.Keysareleftinlocks.Brief
casesincars.Eyeglassesatopheads.
Trylookingtherebefore youransackthehouse.

Objectsdodisappearthankstothieves,traderats,
leprechauns,andthelike.However,suchincidents
areinfrequent;andtheirslightpossibilitymustnot
provide an excuse for abandoning the search. Be
steadfast.Thatdiamondringhassimplybeenmis
laid,andcanbefoundifyouarepersistentand
methodical.

8.

Besureyourenotlookingforaphantomposses
sion:somethingyouhadplannedtopurchasebut
thenneverdid.(Orsomethingyouacquiredina
dream.)
73

74

CommonMistakes

toBeware

Iseethesamemistakesbeingmade,againand again,
inconnectionwithlostobjects.Amongthemare:

ThePanickyPresumption
Pitythepoorsoulwhogoesthroughwastebaskets
orgarbagebagsorevenracestothetowndump!
insearchofsomethingthatsrightwhereitssup
posedtobe.

TheRashAccusation
Whosgotmycoffeemug?(orstaplerornewspa
perorelephant)wedemand,afteronlyasupercial
search.Arashaccusationinwhatwillprobably
proveacaseofmeremisplacement.

TheManiacalSearch

Ourmisplacementthrowsusintoafrenzy;andlike
awildmanwesearchtheentirehouse.Westalk
about, riing through drawers, emptying boxes,
turning things inside outand utterly neglecting
theTwelvePrinciples.
Maniacalsearchesareundigniedandexhausting.
Worseyet,theytendtofail:anagitatedeyewillpass
rightoveritsquarry.
ApplythePrinciples!

MistakenImageofanObject
Ioncehelpedafriendsearchhisbookshelvesfor
a particular book. He had described it to me as
a hardback. So thats what we looked forat
length and in vain. Finally, I grew suspicious of
hisdescription,andbegantoexaminethepaper
backsaswell.Andthereitwas,inplainsight.Our
false image of the book had prevented us from
ndingit.

WildGooseChaseSuspicion
Weareabouttosearchourhouseforanobject.Yet
wesuspectthatitsnotinthehouse,andthatwe
areembarkingonaWildGooseChase.
Sowesearchhalfheartedlycausingustoover
looktheobject.Which convinces usthatitsnotin
thehouse.

75

76

InitialDiscouragement

Wevemisplacedsometinyitemapill,say,ora
screwanditcouldbeanywhereinthehouse.We
considernotevenattemptingasearch.Imnotgo
ingtondit,wemurmur.Thatdarnthings gone
forever.
No!Sayinstead:Itisheresomewhere,andIshall
succeedinfindingit.Why?BecauseIvegotthe
TwelvePrinciples.Principlesthatwork.

immediately intothesearch.(Dontgooffandsurveyother
rooms,lestyoufailtoreturntothisoneaQuickLook
afterall!)

QuickLook

TheQuickLook
Aswesitandponderthewhereaboutsofanobject,
a number of possible sites come to mind. So we
take a Quick Looka mere glanceinto those
nearestathand.Theideaistomoveontomore
promising sites. These initial ones, we tell our
selves,canalwaysbereturnedtoforacloser inspec
tion.
Aharmlessexpedient?Notifitresultsinanover
lookedobject.Forwemay misremember thoseinitial
sites as having been closely inspected, and never
returntothem.

CoolOnceover

NOTE:TheQuickLookisnottobeconfusedwiththeCool

Onceover. The Cool Onceover is a legitimate shortcut,

and should precede any meticulous search. It works like
this:
Yoususpectanobjecttobesomewhereinaparticularroom,
andareabouttosearchthatroom.Beforedoingso,giveit
ageneralsurveyanalertrovingoftheeyeaCoolOnce
over.Yourobjectmaybesittinginplainsight.Ifso,you
will spot it and avoid a meticulous search. If not, move
77

78

TheBermuda

TriangleMyth

Canourpossessionsdropoffthefaceoftheearth?
Isthereamysteriousregionintowhichtheyvan
ish,nevertobeseenagain?Dosupernaturalforces
orbeings causethedisappearanceofsomeobjects?

TheTreasureTroveSyndrome
Wehidesomevaluablesinadistinctiveplacea

locationsouniquethatitwillbesuretostickinour

memory.

Ohyeah?

Theyrestillthere.

RingORuption
Wearemakingahouseholdrepair,whenthetele
phonerings.Rushingtoanswerit,wedropthetool
we were using on the rst surface that presents
itself.
Itsstillthere.

Ofcoursenot(thoughan occasional leprechaunmay

pilferthingsfromthekitchenatnight).Rather,one
ofthefollowingphenomenamaybeinvolved:

PocketGobble
Absentmindedly, we slip something into one of

ourpockets.

Itsstillthere.

79

80

TheHandsFullSituation

LoanOLoss

Returninghomewithgroceries,drycleaning,and
briefcase, we nd our hands full. So in order to
unlockthedoor,wesetdownoneofthoseitems.
Justforasecond.
Itsstillthere.

Weloansomethingtoafriend,thenforgetthatwe

didso.

Shesstillgotit.

BeRightBack
Avariationoftheabove.Ratherthansetsomething
down,westruggletounlockthedoorthenleave
thekeysinthelock,intendingtoreturnimmedi
atelyandfetchthem.
Theyrestillthere.

81

Themindwantstobelievethatthingsmysteriously
disappearthat they are spirited away by super
naturalforcesorbeings.But(exceptforthatpilfer
ingleprechaun),itjustisntso.Mostlostobjectsare
somewherenearathandwaitingtobefound.
Yourtaskistondthem.

82

TheSlyApproach

Youmightwanttotry outwitting yourobject.As

yousitandponder,mutterthatyouhaventaclue
astoitswhereabouts.Orpretendnottocaremuch
aboutndingit.Theideaistolulltheobjectinto
afalsesenseofsecurity.
Thensaunterovertowhereyoususpectittobe
andpounceonit!

Step2

Step1

83

84

HowtoMakea

ThinkingCap

Athinkingcapcanboostyourcondence,andfocus
yourmentalenergies.Hereshowtomakeone.
1.Takeafoldedsheet
ofnewspaperand

locateitscenterline.

Foldtheuppercor

nersdowntomeet

thecenterline.

5.Foldthelowercornersto
thebottomoftheband.

6.Foldtheflapupover
theband.

7.Foldthetopoftheflap
downintotheband.

8.Foldthepeakofthe
capdowntothebottom
oftheband.Tuckitin.

9. Openthecapandflatten
itstop.Foldthepointed
endsdownintotheband.

10.Donthecapand
yourereadyto think.

3.Folditupagainto

createthebandof

thecap.

2.Foldthetopsheetup

tomeetthebaseof

thetriangle.

4.Turnthecapoverand

foldtherightandleft

edgessothatthey

meetatthecenterline.

(Foralargesizecap,

letthemfallaninch

shortofthecenter
line.)

85

86

15
12

InspecteveryinchofthatZoneeverynookand
cranny.Checkunderandbehindthings.Anddont

14

Andlo,aEurekaStik.Alignitszeromarkwiththe
spotfromwhichtheobjectissuspectedofhaving
beendisplaced.Nowrotatethearrow(seeFigure1).
ThecircledescribedisyourEurekaZone.

13

1.Foldalongdottedline.
2.FoldtabAovertabB.
3.Tapethemtogether.
4.Slideattachmentontoendofruler.
5. Tapeitthere.

16

TheresaconvenientwaytodetermineyourEureka
Zone; and thats by using a EurekaStik. Theyre
easytomakeallyouneedisanordinaryruler,the
attachment on the next page, scissors, and tape.
Startbycuttingouttheattachment.Then:

Figure1

87

EurekaStik

17

InPrincipleTenwelearnedabouttheEurekaZone
thatlimitedareainwhichdisplacedobjectstend
tobefound.Itwasdescribedasacirclewhosecen
teristheoriginallocationoftheobject,andwhose
radiusiseighteeninches.

.........................................................................................................................................................

Eureka!

befooledbyverticaldisplacementchecktheoor,
too.(Seenote.)
Remember,yourEurekaStikcanbehelpful,butits
notamagicwand. How yougoaboutsearchingis
whatwillmakethedifference.
NOTE: Thateighteeninchesassumesasimplecaseofhori
zontal displacement. But a vertical displacement may be
involvedaswell(forexample,agolfballrollingoffadesk
anddroppingtotheoor),followedbyasecondaryhori
zontaldisplacement(theballbouncingoffsomewhere).In
suchcases,usetheformula

EZ =18+ d +bf
where EZ istheEurekaZone, d isthedistancetheobject
drops,and bf isthebouncefactor.(Bouncefactorsrange
from250tozero.Seetablebelow.)
Also,incasesofoversizedobjects(brooms,ladders,surf
boards,etc.),useasearchradiusofeighteen feet. Andfor
missingles,checkvefoldersineitherdirection.

SomeSampleBounceFactors
Object
bf(ininches)
Rubber ball......................................................250
Lemon...............................................................10
Glassheirloom.....................................................0

ThePurloinedLetter

Hidden objectsresemblemisplacedonesinmany
respects,andmaybesearchedforinalikemanner.
TheclassictaleofsuchasearchisThePurloined
LetterbyEdgarAllanPoe.Itgoesasfollows:
TheParispolicearetryingtorecoveracompromis
ingletterthathasbeenstolenfromaroyalperson
age. Believingittobeconcealedinthehomeofa
certaingovernmentofcial,theyundertakeasearch
ofthepremises.
Theirsearchismeticulous.Everysquareinchofthe
apartmentisscrutinized,everyconceivablehiding
place looked into. Drawers are emptiedchairs
are dismantledcushions are probed with long
needles.Theoors,walls,andceilingsareexam
inedwithamicroscope,forsignsofreplastering.
Yetthelettercannotbefound.
C.AugusteDupin,anaristocraticsleuth,isbrought
intothecase.Usinghispowersofanalysis,hecon
ductsasearchofhisownandlocatestheletter
almostimmediately.
Whenhedeliversittothepolice,theyareamazed.
Wherewasit?theywanttoknow.Howcouldtheir
minuteexaminationoftheapartmenthavefailed
touncoverit?
Dupin smiles languidly, and explains that the
ofcialawarethatameticuloussearchwouldbe
conducted for the letterhad resorted to the

89

90

comprehensive and sagacious expedient of not

attemptingtoconcealitatall.Instead,theman
hadleftit inplainsight, crumpledupasifunim
portantandthrustcarelesslyintoarack.
Andtherethepoliceignoredit.Afterall,theletter
theywereseekingwouldhavebeencarefullypre
servedandtuckedawayinsomesecretplace.
HadDupinbeenfamiliarwiththeTwelvePrinci
ples,hemighthavetoldtheredfacedgendarmes:
Messieurs,youwerelookingrightatit.

91

TheGamesAfoot
InTheManwiththeTwistedLip,SherlockHolmes
isengagedtolocateahusbandwhohasmysteri
ouslydisappeared.Watsongivesthisdescriptionof
Holmessolvingthecase:
A large and comfortable doublebedded room had
beenplacedatourdisposal,andIwasquicklybetween
thesheets,forIwaswearyaftermynightofadventure.
SherlockHolmeswasaman,however,who,whenhe
hadanunsolvedproblemuponhismind,wouldgofor
days, and even for a week, without rest, turning it
over, rearranging his facts, looking at it from every
pointofviewuntilhehadeitherfathomeditorcon
vincedhimselfthathisdatawereinsufcient.Itwas
soonevidenttomethathewasnowpreparingforan
allnightsitting.Hetookoffhiscoatandwaistcoat,
putonalargebluedressinggown,andthenwandered
abouttheroomcollectingpillowsfromhisbedand
cushionsfromthesofaandarmchairs.Withthesehe
constructed a sort of Eastern divan, upon which he
perchedhimselfcrosslegged,withanounceofshag
tobaccoandaboxofmatcheslaidoutinfrontofhim.
Inthedimlightofthelamp,Isawhimsittingthere,
an old briar pipe between his lips, his eyes xed
vacantlyupontheceiling,thebluesmokecurlingup
from him, silent, motionless, with the light shining
upon his strongset aquiline features. So he sat as I
droppedofftosleep,andsohesatwhenasuddenejac
ulationcausedmetowakeup,andIfoundthesum
mersunshiningintotheapartment.Thepipewasstill
betweenhislips,thesmokestillcurlingupward,and
theroomwasfullofadensetobaccohaze,butnothing
remainedoftheheapofshagwhichIhadseenupon
thepreviousnight.
92

Awake,Watson?heasked.

Yes.

Gameforamorningdrive?

Certainly.

Thendress....Hechuckledtohimselfashespoke,

hiseyestwinkled,andheseemedadifferentmanto

thesomberthinkerofthepreviousnight.

WhatbetterexampleofsomeoneapplyingtheThree
CsComfort,Calmness,andCondenceashe
beginsahunt!

FreudsFee

AccordingtoFreud,objectsmaybeintentionally
misplaced.We want toforgetwhereweleftthem.
We want tooverlookthem.
InThePsychopathologyofEverydayLife, hedescribes
the unconscious dexterity with which an object
is mislaid on account of hidden but powerful
motives.Thesemotivesinvolvethelowestima
tion in which the lost object is held, or a secret
antipathytowardsitortowardsthepersonthatit
camefrom.
Freudtellsofapatientwhocouldnotndthekeys
to his desk, despite a painstaking search of his
apartment.Sensingthatthelosswasintentional
asymptomaticactthepatienthadhisservant
takeupthesearch.Theservantfoundthekeys.
Thepatientthendelvedintohisunconscious.Why,
hewondered,hadhebeenunabletolocatethekeys?
Whathadbeenhissecretmotive?Coulditrelatesome
howtohistreatmentsessionwithFreud,scheduled
forthefollowingday?
Suddenly,itdawnedonhim.Theirlosshadpre
ventedacertaindrawerfrombeingopenedthe
drawerinwhichthemoneyforhistreatmentwas
kept.Hismotiveforlosingthekeys?Secretrage,he
realized,athavingtopayFreudsohighafee!
Ifyoususpectyourownmisplacementtobeinten
tional,haveafriendjoininthesearch.

93

94

Hrnir

ATrueAccount

In his story Tln, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius, Jorge

Luis Borges tells of a world where (among other
marvels)lostobjectsduplicatethemselves.Thus,a
searchermaycomeupontheobjectitselformay
havefounditsduplicate.Knownas hrnir,these
duplicatesareusuallymistakenfortheobject.They
arenot,however,exactcopies.A hrn maybeslight
lylargerthantheoriginal,andwillpossesssome
imperfectionofform.

ThefollowingletterisfromLarryCallahan, an artist
inSouthernCalifornia,whomIhad introducedto
theTwelvePrinciples:

Therearealso hrnir thatbarelyresembletheob

jectthatengenderedthem.Instead,theyfulllthe
searchersdesiresinregardtothatobject. Forexam
ple,helosesapencilandndsafountainpen.
Intherealworld, hrnir shouldntbeaproblem.
Butdotakecaretosearchfortheactualobject
not(asinmysearchforthesupposedlyhardcover
book)anidealizedimageofit.

95

DearProfessorSolomon,

Ihadanexperiencerecentlythatinvolvedyourmethod.

Afriendneededarentalcar;andIagreedtodrivehim

totheairporttopickoneup.Ihadsomeerrandsto
runletterstomailatthepostofce,andchecksto
depositatmybanksoIdecidedtodoitallinasin
gletrip.Iplacedthelettersandcheckstogetherinone
pile(awarethatthiswasreckless,buttrustingmyself
toseparatethemattheappropriatemoment),grabbed
mycarkeys,andsetout.
Myrststopwasthepostofce,whereIdepositedthe
lettersinacurbsidemailbox.ThenIpickedupmy
friendandproceededtotheairport.
Attherentalagencyhewentinside,whileIwaitedto
makesuretherewasnoproblem.AsIsatinmycar,I
noticedanaccumulationoftrashontheoor.Why
notputtheseidleminutestouse,Isaidtomyself,and
dosomecarcleaning?SoIgatheredupthetrash
bags,iers,newspapers,andwhatnotanddropped
itintoareceptacleoutsidetheagency.
Myfriendemergedwithasetofkeysandarentalcon
tract.Isaidgoodbyeanddroveoff,headednowformy
bank.
AtthebankIparkedandlookedaboutforthosechecks.
Theywerenowheretobeseen.Frowning,Ichecked
mypockets.Ipeeredintotheglovecompartment.I
pokedaboutontheoorandundertheseat.Alltono
avail.Thecheckshaddisappeared.
I tried not to panic. My anxiety level was rising,
96

thoughwhenIrecalledyourmethod.TheTwelve

Principles,Imurmured.Whynotgivethematry?

TherstthatcametomindwasDontlookforit.

Too late thereI had already searched the car. I

movedontoThethreeCsadjustingtheseatto

getcomfortable,takingdeepbreathstocalmmyself,

and telling myself that the checks had to be SOME

Igroaned.Itwasobviouswhathadhappened.Ihad

dropped the whole pile into the mailboxjust as I

hadknownIwascapableofdoing.Whataridiculous

thingtohavedone!Mychecksweregone,swallowed

upbythepostalsystem.

Butwaitmaybetheywereretrievable.Aleviathan

hadswallowedthem;butmaybeIcoulddescendinto

itsbellyandgetthemback.Itwasworthatry.Our

localpostofceisasmall,friendlyplace.Conceivably,

theywouldtakepityonme.

Tryingtostaycalm,Ireturnedtothepostofceand

explainedtoapostalemployeewhathadhappened.

Otheremployeesgatheredtolisten,andtoshaketheir

heads at my blunder. Was there any way to get the

checksback?Iasked.Iwastoldthataproceduredid

existforretrievingmail.Iwouldhavetolloutaform,

andpayasmallcharge,foreachitemreturnedtome.

Letsgoforit,Isaid,tryingtosoundjocular.

Firstwelookedthroughthehampersinthebackroom.

Plenty of mail, but no loose checks. Then we went

outside,openedthemailboxes,andcheckedtheircon

tents.Stillnochecks.

Irackedmybrains.Whereelsecouldtheybe?Think

back.

I thought backand saw myself gathering up that

trashinmycar.

Ono.Thechecksmusthavefallenontheoor,and

beeninwiththetrash.

Thatsit!Icried.Theyreinthetrashcan!

Idescribedthisnewtheorytothepostalemployees.They

begantolookatmefunny.Biddingthemahastyfare

well,Idashedtomycaranddrovebacktotheairport.

AttherentalagencyIgotoutofmycarandeyedthe

trash receptacle. I removed its lid and looked in.

There was nothing inside. The receptacle had been

emptiedsincemydeparture.

Bythegaragewereapairofrubbishbins.Iapproached

them,hoistedmyselfupononeofthem,andpeered

insideatamassofrubbish.Inthesebinstheagency

emptieditstrash;andinthesebins,Iwasconvinced,

weremychecks.Omy,whatwasItodo?

Icoulddothesensiblethingandadmitdefeat.After

all,thecheckswerereplaceable.Itwouldbetiresome

and embarrassing; but I could contact each client,

explainmyblunder,andaskforanewcheck.

Ortheindignitybedamned!Icouldsearchthrough

thebins.

Idecidedtosearch.

Takingadeepbreath,Iclimbedintothebinandsank

kneedeep in trash. The agency disposed of a large

quantityofcomputerprintouts;andhaditnotbeen

for the coffee grounds, pencil shavings, and snack

remainsmixedin,Imighthaveenjoyedasalarkmy

descent into this binful of paper. But I persevered.

Finding nothing in the rst bin, I hopped out and

climbedintothesecond.

Incredibly,afterabitofdigging,Ifoundmychecks.

Theywereamongsomecontractformsandcrushed

97

98

WHERE.

NextcameYourelookingrightatit.Iwas?Thechecks

wererightinfrontofme?Iglaredatanemptydash

board.

ThenIrememberedthePrincipleaboutthinkingback.

SoIthoughtback,tryingtopicturewhatIhaddone

with the checks. AND I SAW MYSELF PUTTING THEM

TOGETHERWITHTHELETTERS!

cups.IemergedfromthatbinknowingmorethanI
caredtoabouttheunderbellyofthecarrentalbusi
ness.ButIhadmychecks.
WithoutthePrinciplesIwouldneverhavefound them.
Yourmethodisinvaluable,forpeoplelikemewhenwe
dosomethingstupid!Muchthanks.
Yours,
Larry

Theaboveisatestimonial,whichIappreciate.But
itisalsoacautionarytale.Forthetruthisthat Larry
waslucky. Letstakealookathiscase.
Yes,heemergedfromtherubbishbintriumphantly
clutchinghischecks.Theywereinthere.Butthey
couldjustaseasilyhavebeenunderhiscarseat,
betweenthecushions,intheglovecompartment,
orinoneof hispockets.Whilehemayhavelooked
intheseplaces,hedoesnotseemtohavelooked
well.IcheckedIpeeredIpokedabout,hetells
usdescribingasearchthatsoundstomecursory
andincomplete.
Inotherwords,heshouldhavebegunwitha metic
ulous search of his car. Instead, he took a Quick
Look, then succumbed to one Panicky Presump
tionafteranother.Theyreinthemailbox!hecried
no,thetrashcan!no,thebin!Thatoneofthese
longshotshappenedtopanoutdoesnotjustifyhis
failuretohaveeliminatedrstthemorelikelysites.
Descendingintoarubbishbinmustalwaysremain
alastresort.

99

5.
Thisand
That

SomeQuotes

Thereisnosuchthingasalostmovieonlymislaid
movies.AndIshallndthem.
MILES KREUGER,FILM HISTORIAN

LastSaturdaymorning,Iconcludedthatthereisnoth
ing harder to nd than a bottle of pancake syrup
reshelvedsixinchesawayfromitsaccustomedspot.
BURTON HILLIS,COLUMNIST FOR BETTER
HOMES AND GARDENS

Havingnothing,nothingcanhelose.
SHAKESPEARE

Whendoesapoormanrejoice?Whenhelosessome
thingandndsitagain.
YIDDISH PROVERB

Thequickestwaytondsomethingyouvelostormis
placedistopurchaseanotherjustlikeit.

MissingLuggage

Ifanairline,railway,orbuslinehaslostyour lug
gage,youandtheycanworktogethertondit.
Forexample,IoncetookatraintoCharlottesville,
Virginia.Tomydismay,mycheckedbaggagefailed
toarrivewithme.TheclerkatAmtrakattempted
totrackitdown;butseveraldayswentbyandstill
nobaggage.Finally,Ihappenedtolookcloselyat
myclaimcheck,andsawthatitread Charlotte. I
pointed this out to the clerk, who contacted the
stationinCharlotte,NorthCarolina.Andyes,my
baggagewasthere.
Anothertime,IarrivedinSantaMonica,California,
bybus;andthebaggageclerkwasunabletonda
pairofboxesIhadchecked.Myheartsank;andI
was resigning myself to never again seeing those
boxeswhenamadhopegrippedme.IaskedifI
mightenterthebaggageroomandlookaboutfor
them.Theclerkallowedmetodosoandthere
weremyboxes,sittingonarack.Somehowhehad
overlookedthem.
IneachcaseIhadfearedtheworst:thedisappear
anceofmystuffintosomeblackholeforluggage.
Yetacooperativeeffortledtorecovery.

GEORGE BERGMAN

101

102

HowNottoLose

Things

Someofusarepronetolosingthings.Friendslaugh
andsay:Hedlosehisheadif itwerentnailedon.
Maybethatsnotsuchabadidea.
Topreventpensfromwalkingaway,bankschain
themtothecounter.Andsomemencarryawallet
thatischainedtotheirbelts.
Ifyourpossessionstendtodriftoff,considertying
themdown.
Themanpicturedbelowsaysheneverlosesany
thing.

103

TheLastPlace

Ihadthefollowingconversationwithadentist,as
hecleanedmyteeth:
DENTIST: Doyouknowwherealostobjectalwaysis?
PROF.SOLOMON: Where?
DENTIST: Inthelastplaceyoulook.
PROF.SOLOMON: Youmean,thelastplaceyoudthink
oflooking?
DENTIST: No,thelastplaceyoulook.Becauseassoon
asyoundit,youstoplooking.
PROF. SOLOMON: Thatsprettygood.MayIuseitin
mybook?
DENTIST: Sure.

104

AConsumersGuide
toDetectionDevices

KeyBeeper
Attached to your key ring, this device will beep
repeatedly in response to a clapthus revealing
thelocationofyourkeys.Unfortunately,anyclap
willdo;andakeybeepermaygooffunexpectedly.

Lookingforalostobjectdetectiondevice?Consider
thefollowing:

TheFindometer

LarryCallahan(thatartistwhodescendedintoa
rubbishbin)hasdesignedtheabovecontraption.
Heclaimsthatmisplacedobjectsdisturbtheenergy
flowofaroomaphenomenonthathismachine
wouldbeabletodetect.Thehand,hesays,would
rotateinthedirectionofthedisturbance.
HowwouldtheFindometerwork?Byapplyingmod
ernelectronicstofangshui,theancientChineseart
ofgeomancy.
Soundsgood.
105

106

DiviningRods

KneePadsandMinersLamp

Welldiggers,prospectors,treasurehunters,andother
practitionersof dowsingswearbythese.Indthem
unreliable.Still,theyrelightweightandeasytouse.
Gripthehornsrmly.Thenjustwanderaboutuntil
youfeelatwitch.

These are for crawling about on your hands and

knees,asyousearchforsomething.

Diviningrodshavebeenaroundforthousandsof
years. The Egyptians used them to foretell the
future; the Romans located precious metals with
them.
Traditionally,theyarefashionedfromthebranchof
ahazeltree.Aplasticversionmaybefoundinnov
eltyshops.

Butwhyareyoucrawlingabout?Gondacom
fortablechair,andapplythePrinciples!

The MOC
Ifyouvedroppedasmallobjectcontainingiron,
youmightwanttotryaMOC, orMagneticObject
Collector.(Itsbasicallyjustamagnet.)Dragitabout
thegeneralareaofyourloss,untilthe MOC picks
upyourobject.
Canbeattachedtothefamilydog.

107

108

AlternativeMethods

Therearemethodsbesidesmyownforndingalost
object(althoughnoneofthemcanrivaltheTwelve
Principlesforefcacy,reliability,andeaseofappli
cation).Youmightwanttotryoneofthefollowing:

GrandmasPrinciple
AfriendinOntariowrites:
When my grandmother wanted to nd something
thatwaslost,shewouldstopinthemiddleoftheroom
and askherselfoutloud,NowifIwerea(whatever
waslost),wherewouldIgo?Shedmuseonthatone,
andproceedtowherevershedecidedthethingwould
havegonetoandthereitwas!

Hypnosis
HandTremblers
Membersof theNavahotribeconsultaHandTrem
bler.Thequiveringof hishandsleadsthemtolost
objects.

Dreams
Shouldbeadministeredbyaqualiedprofessional.

It is not unknown for the location of a missing

objecttoberevealedinadream.Sokeepaneyeout
evenwhileasleep.

MemoryElixirs

109

110

StorefrontPsychics
They will employ their mystic powers to locate
yourobject.

SaintAnthony
Oureffortstotrackdownalostobjectbywhat
evermethodaresometimesdoomedtofailure.
Whenthathappens,itmaybetimetoturntoa
HigherPower.
Catholics have traditionally prayed to Saint
Anthony for the restoration of lost objects. A
promiseissometimesmadethatinreturnforhis
servicesa donation will be made to the poor.
These donations are known as Saint Anthonys
Bread.
Childrenchanttherefrain:
SaintAnthony,please,comearound
Somethingsbeenlostandcantbefound.

SaintAnthonymayalsobecalleduponincasesof
lostfaith,hope,orlove.

111

112

HashevatAveida

TheTalmudcontainsasetoflawsregardinghashe
vataveida,orthereturnoflostobjects.Essentially,
a person is bound to returnor make a serious
attempttoreturnanylostobjecthehasfound.
Normayheacceptarewardforthisservice.
Thereare,ofcourse,exceptionsandcomplications.
Thedutyiswaivediftheobjectsownercanbeex
pectedtohavegivenuphopeforitsreturn.Andone
mustbesuretheobjectwaslost.Iftherearesigns
of its having been deliberately left where found,
thentheobjectmustnotberemovedsincetodo
sowould cause itsloss.
Butthebasicideaisthatndersare not keepers
inorderthatlosersnotbeweepers.
This mitzvah (commandment,obligation,gooddeed)
hasledtotheestablishmentinJewishcommunities
of special bulletin boards, on which people who
havelostorfoundsomethingmayputupnotices.
One such bulletin board in Jerusalem is a city
blocklong!

114

AZen Koan

Wannamoho

Amonkhadmisplacedhisricebowlsomewhere
inadarkroom.Hewasgropingabouttheroomin
searchofit,whentheabbotofthemonasterycame
in and asked what he was doing. The monk
explained.

Iwouldliketoconcludewithatale.ItsaboutLone
Cloud,andhowhelearnedthatsomelostobjects
shouldstaylost!

Whydontyougooutsideandlookforit?saidthe
abbot.Theresmorelightoutthere.

115

OnedayLoneCloudgotlostintheforest.Onandon

hewalked,surethathewouldsooncomeuponapath.

Buttheforestgrewdenser,theshadowsdeeper.Now

andagainrosethecryoftheravenaneeriesoundin

thispathlessplace.AndLoneCloudbegantofeelanx

ious.

Imtrulylost,hethought.

Thentheforestcametoanend;andLoneCloudfound

himselfdescendingintoavalley.Onlygrassgrewin

this valley. Winding its way through the grass was a

stream.

Ashewalkedalong,LoneCloudwassurprisedbywhat

hesawscatteredinthegrass.Foreverywherewerearti

clesofdailylifebows,arrows,traps,pots,bowls,balls,

whistles,bracelets,cloaks,moccasins.

Lone Cloud noticed the raven, perched on a basket.

WhereamI?heaskedthewisestofcreatures.

InWannamoho,saidtheraven,theValleyofLost

Things.Strewnaboutyouarethemissingpossessions

ofyourpeople.

Ourmissingpossessions?

Yes.Theyhavebeencominghereforcountlessgen

erationseversincetherstofyourancestorsmislaid

something.

Buthowdotheygethere?

116

Theyarebroughtbythe WindThatLaughs.Themo

mentsomethingisgivenupforlost,helaughsand

waftsittothisvalley.

LoneCloudwhohadneverheardof Wannamoho

gazedaboutinwonder.TheValleyof LostThings!And

he recalled a pouch he had lost years before. Richly

embroidered,ithadcontainedanepipeandpowerful

tobacco. Howpreciousthatpouchhadbeentohim,

andhowhewouldlikeitback!

ThepouchImislaiditishereinthisvalley?

Itis.

Show me where. I shall retrieve it and take it back

withme.

Iwouldntdothat.YourpouchbelongsnowinWan

namoho. To remove it could bring bad luck upon

you.

Nonsense, said Lone Cloud. And he insisted the

ravenleadhimtohispouch.

So the raven ew into the air, circled about, and

uttereddowntothegrass.LoneCloudcamerunning
overandtherewashislostpouch.
Aha! he cried, grabbing it up. He opened it and
beheldhispipeandtobacco.Amazingly,thetobacco
wasstillpungent.
Pleased to have regained his pouch, Lone Cloud
departedfrom thevalleyandwanderedtheforest.At
lasthecameuponapath,andbyduskwasbackathis
hut.
Thatnighthelledthepipeandsmokedit.Andhe
was pufng away and murmuring pleasurably and
thinkingthatthisindeedwashowtospendhiseve
nings(andmaybehisdays,too)whenhishutcol
lapsedabouthim!
Dazed,LoneCloudcrawledoutoftheruins.Andhe
wondered:Couldthisbethatbadluckofwhichthe
ravenhadwarned?
ThenextdayLoneCloudwasgatheringnutswhen
thegroundopenedandheplungedintoabeartrap!
Bruisedandabashed, heclimbedout. Morebadluck?

117

118

Andthenextdayhewokeupitching.Arashcovered

hisbodypoisonivy.

It is as the raven said, lamented Lone Cloud. He

warnedmethatreclaimingmypouchmightbringbad

luck.Andsoithas.

LoneCloudsearcheduntilhefoundtheraven,perched

inanoak.Youwereright,hesaid.Ihavebrought

badluckuponmyself.TellmewhatImustdotoget

ridofit.

ThepouchmustgobacktoWannamoho,saidthe

raven.Onlythenwillthisbadluckleaveyou.

SoLoneCloudroamedtheforest,lookingfortheVal

leyofLostThings.Hewantedtoreturnthepouchto

wherehehadfoundit.Buttryashemight,hecould

notlocatethatstrangevalley.

WhatamItodo?hegroaned.Untilthispouchis

backinWannamoho,misfortunewillhoundme.

Returningtotheruinsofhishut,hefoundtheraven

perchedthere.Wisestofcreatures,saidLoneCloud,

Ilookedandlooked,butcouldnotndWannamo

ho.

Itishardtond.

How then am I to return this pouch? Perhaps you

couldtakeitbackforme?saidLoneCloud,holding

outthepouch.

Ono,saidtheraven.

ThenwhatamItodo?

Gohelpthebeaver.

Strange advice, thought Lone Cloud. But he walked

along the river until he found the beaver, who was

draggingatreeintothewater.

Letmehelpyou,hesaidtothemostindustriousof

creatures.

Icouldusesomehelp,saidthebeaver.Come,lend

meahand.

So Lone Cloud put down his pouch and joined the

beaver. All day they labored togetherfelling trees,

draggingthemtotheriver,andbuildingadam.The

workwasstrenuous,andLoneCloudwantedtoquit.

Buthewasdeterminedtodoastheravenhadadvised.

Finally,thebeaverthankedhimandswamoff.Lone

Cloudsighedwithrelief.Hewastiredandhungry;it

wastimetogohomeandeat.Helookedaboutforhis

pouch.

But where was it? He had left it by the riverbut

whereexactlyhecouldntrecall.

Wheresthatpouch?criedLoneCloud.

Upanddowntheriverhesearchedforit.Heseemed

torememberhavingleftitunderabushbutwhich

bush?Foralongtimehesearched,butwithoutsuccess.

Finallyhegaveup,ploppedtotheground,andsatthere

frowning.Awindrustledinthetrees.

Butthenhisfrowndissolved,andagleamenteredhis

119

120

eye.Forherealizedhehadlostthepouchagain.
AndthatmeantitwasbackinWannamoho.
LoneCloudjumpedforjoy,gladtobefreeoftheill
luckthathadplaguedhim.

AFinalWord
Ihopethisbookhastaughtyouhowtolocatewhat
youlose.
Ifithas,enteryournameonthecerticate.Youare
nowaFinder,notaLoser.Youareamasterofthe
right waythe effective wayto search for lost
objects.
Remember,lostobjects can befound.They want
tobefound.Andthey will befoundbySYSTEMATIC
SEARCHERS.

Searchersforwhomndingthingsisnotachore,
butachallenge.
Searchers whoinstead of ransacking their own
housesitdown,dontheirthinkingcap,takeasip
oftea,halfclosetheireyes,andmurmur:
Allright,thegamesafoot!
Searcherslikeyourself.

121

122

Professor Solomon

has mastered the TWELVE PRINCIPLES,

and is qualied to search for Lost Objects.

This is to Certify that

Certi
cate of Prociency

AlsobyProfessorSolomon:

HowtoMaketheMostofaFlying
SaucerExperience
AcomprehensiveandentertainingguidetoUFOs.
Includestalesofcontactees,factsabouttheSpacePeople,
andnumerousillustrations.Plus,ProfessorSolomonstips
formakingthemostofaflyingsaucerexperience!

AlsobyProfessorSolomon:

ConeyIsland
Ahistoryandprofileofthelegendaryamusementarea

Todownloadafreecopyofthisbook,goto:

http://www.professorsolomon.com/cibookpage.html

Todownloadafreecopyofthisbook,goto:

http://www.professorsolomon.com/ufobookpage.html

JapaninaNutshell
byProfessorSolomon
Atlast,theunknownJapan.ThetraditionalJapan.The
real Japan.Inthiseruditeyetentertainingwork,the
ProfessorexploresaJapanofwhichfewofusareaware.
Foratourofauniquecultureafascinatinglookatits
diversewaysandwondersjoinhim.

TheBookofKingSolomon
AlifeofKingSolomon,writtenbyhiscourthistorian!
TranslatedandAnnotatedbyProfessorSolomon
Anengagingbookhighlyrecommended to anyone wanting
tolearnmoreaboutthewisestofmen,hisplaceinhistory,
andhisrelevancetoday.

Todownloadafreecopyofthisbook,goto:
http://www.professorsolomon.com/kingsolomonpage.html
Todownloadafreecopyofthisbook,goto:

http://www.professorsolomon.com/japanbookpage.html