The Another Story about The Villagers

By Patricia Ainger

 Patricia Ainger 2009

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever
without the express written permission of the publisher or author
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

The people and events described in this story are figments of my

imagination. I cannot be held responsible if they remind you of
someone or something.

Dedicated to all my friends in the amateur operatic world

in memory of many happy hours
spent struggling with Sondheim, grappling with Gilbert or battling
with Berlin.

10 October 2006 a Thursday

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The Beginning................................................................................................................ 4
Jane goes to Bristol ...................................................................................................... 13
Jane meets Lizzie ......................................................................................................... 21
Lizzie House ................................................................................................................ 28
Poetry with Lizzie ........................................................................................................ 32
Jane meets Jo & Alastair .............................................................................................. 42
Giles re-appears............................................................................................................ 46
Giles takes Jane to Glastonbury ................................................................................... 58
Lunch with Giles .......................................................................................................... 65
Jane gets the wrong idea .............................................................................................. 85
Jane has a row with Giles............................................................................................. 90
Jane goes to Bath....................................................................................................... 115
Giles & Jane come to an understanding..................................................................... 127
Jane meets Aunt Joan ................................................................................................. 132
Jane visits Ivy Lodge.................................................................................................. 143
Jane tells Lizzie shes moving to Bath....................................................................... 151
Going to Italy ............................................................................................................. 159
Sorrento ...................................................................................................................... 166
Anna and the fishing village ...................................................................................... 172
Journal entry............................................................................................................... 179
Going Home ............................................................................................................... 191
Giles & the Toothbrush.............................................................................................. 200
Lizzie in Planning Mode ............................................................................................ 209
Jane goes for a drink with the staff ............................................................................ 225
Family Gathering ....................................................................................................... 241
Back to Taunton ......................................................................................................... 254
Jane leaves Taunton ................................................................................................... 265
Sand Bay .................................................................................................................... 281
Quiet Sunday.............................................................................................................. 293
Daisy, Christmas Shopping and Plans ....................................................................... 300
Bernie & the Vicar ..................................................................................................... 318
Coffee at Sallys......................................................................................................... 333
Giles Office Do......................................................................................................... 342
Sunday Lunch ............................................................................................................ 360
Christmas ................................................................................................................... 366
Lizzies Party ............................................................................................................. 398
Goodbye to Taunton................................................................................................... 409
New Year ................................................................................................................... 414
After ........................................................................................................................... 424

1. THE BEGINNING
One of these days I shall throw that bloody alarm clock out of
the window and the sound of it crashing onto the pavement below will
be music to my ears. But not this morning, this morning I have to
obey its command, open my eyes, throw off the duvet and get out of
my nice, comfy, but above all, warm bed.
I really shouldnt have hit the gin so hard last night. I knew it
was a stupid idea but anniversaries are funny things and sometimes,
just sometimes, you need help to deal with them. Memory throws up
a picture of me sitting on the lounge floor cutting up all the valentine,
Christmas and birthday cards Alan had given me, giggling as I
swigged back the last of the gin and wielded the scissors Well, it
was better than crying, I suppose. My head doesnt feel too bad this
morning thank goodness I used to buy decent quality gin! It was a
bit of luck finding that half bottle in the cupboard, Id quite forgotten
it was there.
Wrapping my dressing gown round me against the chill of the
autumnal air, I stagger down the hallway to the bathroom. Yuk, dont
like the look of the woman in the mirror! Slightly bloodshot, tired
brown eyes stare at me from under an untidy thatch of brown hair
its getting too long and needs cutting the bags under my eyes look
bigger than usual and my eyebrows need plucking. Shit! I turn on
the shower and wait for it to warm up. As usual, the water pressure is
lousy and I have to squeeze into the corner of the bath, my back at a
contorted angle as I try to get myself under the flow of water. For
the millionth time I ask myself why I ever thought this flat was a
sensible place to live more evidence of the spell Alan cast, I
suppose.
The clock tells me its nearly seven fifteen by the time I get back
to the bedroom. At least Im still on schedule. What to wear? Its a
toss up between the blue pinstripe and the black suit I go for the
latter the trousers will be warmer than the skirt of the blue suit
anyway, I dont feel in a colourful mood . not that navy blue is
colourful exactly . Oh, stop being so pedantic, Jane!
Halfway through drying my hair, the hairdryer cuts out through
overheating. Its doing that more frequently these days, probably on
4

its last legs - more expense! I frown at myself in the mirror on the
dressing table. Where are we in the month? 10th payday is weeks
away on the positive side, the rent is paid and there are no bills due
so whatever is left in the account is mine to do with as I wish ha, ha,
bloody ha.
A glance through the doorway into the lounge confirms that my
vague recollections of the activities of the night before were accurate
looks like an explosion in a confetti factory. The empty gin bottle
and glass lying on its side on the rug give a nice touch of bohemian
debauchery to the scene. Well, it sort of made sense last night with
a sigh, I close the door on the disaster area, adding the hope that my
landlord wont pick today to drop in unexpectedly while I am at work,
and make for the kitchen. Im out of coffee but there are still a half
dozen tea bags left in the box so I can at least have a cup of tea with
my toast .. no, scrap the toast - the last slice of bread has gone
mouldy. Have to make do with some cream crackers spread with
margarine.
Walking down to the bus stop, I contemplate my finances.
Positives first Im making real headway paying off that debt so all
the effort is worthwhile. Hang onto that thought, Jane. Another four
months and I should be clear. Four months come on, Jane, you can
do it at least you dont have any Christmas presents to worry about
one advantage of not having any family.
Its nearly nine months since I realised that Alan had walked off
with more than just my much-loved collection of JRR Tolkien books
with him when he left.
The spending spree hed taken my credit card on had been pretty
monumental but he never does anything by halves not Alan. By
the time I found out about it, he was out of my life and, Im led to
believe, out of the country. As Id been stupid enough to trust him
with the PIN number, I had no recourse to anything other than selfrecrimination the credit card company didnt have to be quite so
smug about it, but I can see their point. The 2,500 he had spent on
clothes and jewellery for himself I could sort of forgive; the 2,000 or
so he spent wining, dining and shagging his new girlfriend in one of
the better hotels in Wiltshire I found harder to swallow. Paying it

back as quickly as I can, and thus minimising the interest payments, is

my number one priority.
Six months of living at subsistence level is good for the figure
but bloody awful for the morale. Still, only another four months to
go. That, and the rent on the flat - which was managable when two
were contributing to it - wipe out my salary. Ill have to look for
somewhere else to live but not until Ive paid the debt off. I couldnt
face a move now let alone all the expense moving would entail.
A clean slate a new start thats the aim.
When I checked my account yesterday it showed a balance of
65.28. Not a fortune by any means but it only has to last for another
three weeks only...
You see, Jane, Alan did you a favour when he wrote off the car,
youd never have been able to afford to run it.
I sometimes think its being so cynical that keeps me going
otherwise, Id cry and thats a pointless activity.
What shopping do I need? Ill work out menus for the week
during my lunch hour and draw up a shopping list from that
working on a budget of 20 a week is challenging oh how I am
going to enjoy myself when I have some money. I shall never take
kitchen roll for granted again.
Thank goodness my job is stable it may not be the most
exciting job in the world but it brings in a decent wage, well, decent
for Somerset. On top of that, my boss is reasonable and I find the
work interesting most of the time. Its a bit of a pain having to
trek all the way across town to the office but usually the buses run
without problems.
Morning; looks like rain. the bus driver said lugubriously, as I
tender him my fare and a Pollyanna smile.
There are four regular drivers on this route and Ive got to know
all of them this is Bob hes nearing retirement, balding and
invariably miserable. It doesnt matter if the sun is shining (too hot or
too bright) or raining (too wet) or whatever nothing is ever right for
Bob. Too many passengers too few passengers . Still, being so
miserable keeps him happy.
I move along the bus and take my usual seat half way back on
the right. A quick glance round the bus tells me that most of the usual

crowd are here. We never speak to each other, of course, but a few
of us exchange embarrassed smiles and then look away quickly. The
great British Public
Thursday today the weekend looming.
After the first initial shock when Alan announced he was fed up
with my moods and told me he was leaving for good (Id lost my rag
when he crashed my car into a wall and wrote it off), Id lapsed into a
state of apathy when not at work. The credit card fiasco had kickstarted me into activity. Since then, Ive made a point of going for a
walk on a Saturday (or Sunday if Saturdays too wet). The rules are
that as long as its not actually pouring with rain, I go out and walk
for at least four hours. I have a detailed OS map of the area and
usually spend Friday evening planning in detail where Ill go. Some
of the walks have been boring and even, on one occasion, a little
scary, but at least it gives me something to do and the exercise is good
for me after a week sat at a desk.
Id hate myself if I had to live with me
Ten minutes later and I stand in the aisle, peering out of the
window waiting for the bus to stop; its not raining yet thank
goodness. My office is just down the road from the bus stop only a
few hundred yards, but enough to get pretty wet if its chucking it
down in true West Country fashion. I used to call in at the newsagent
to get a paper but under the current financial regime thats a no-no
except for the luxury I allow myself of buying the Saturday edition
it has a TV guide in it so is not entirely impractical and the size of the
thing gives me reading matter for the whole week Anyway, not
going into the newsagents means that I dont buy a bar of chocolate
and that has to be good for me. I sometimes think that, when I finally
pay this wretched debt off, Ill go out on a binge eating as much
chocolate as I can lay my hands on and washing it down with a bottle
or two of decent red wine.
Four months
Morning, Jane. How are you this morning? asked the
doorman as I walk into the office foyer.
Im fine, thanks Frank. And you?
I stand listening politely for several minutes as he tells me about
his latest twinge of arthritis I made the big mistake once of telling

him that I knew a little about arthritis as my Mum suffered from it and
ever since, hes made a point of giving me every detail possible.
My desk is as I left it thats a relief. All too frequently, I clear
it before I leave one day and return the next morning to find it knee
deep in files. My boss works on a clear desk basis the trouble is he
clears his desk onto mine.
Tentatively, I log the computer in. Weve been having problems
with the network lately and four times in the past two weeks there
have been problems logging on first thing in the morning. Our
resident IT guy has taken to hiding in the cupboard he has for an
office, and goes around the building flinching whenever anyone calls
his name. The trouble is that theres not enough space on the server
and everyone needs to do some clearing out of old files naturally,
no-one has time to do this and thus the problem is perpetuated. My
boss, Matthew, is a serious culprit at the last count he had over
3,000 e-mails in his inbox most of them not needed. When he
goes on holiday I try to go through deleting all the rubbish I really
do not think he needs an e-mail saying that there are cakes celebrating
someones birthday in the kitchen which is dated five months ago!
Its a time consuming, not to say deadly boring, process and not one I
relish.
Matthew (never Matt) is finance director and a lot of my work
involves spreadsheets and reports with lots of numbers in them. It
being the second week in the month, I expect him to be working on
his monthly report for the board meeting which takes place in the
third week of every month. Sales were pretty steady last month so
the reps have told me and there have been no nasty unpaid invoices
as far as I can see, so we shouldnt sweat too much about giving the
report a positive edge the month when half the reps were off sick
with that appalling sickness bug and when, as a result, the sales
figures were abysmal was rather challenging the board dont like to
see a negative report. If failure can be called deferred success, that
month the trend of the finances was non-upwardly mobile.
As I anticipated, by mid-morning, Matthew has landed a heap of
paper covered in scribbled figures on my desk with the not so tonguein-cheek instruction to make them look tidy. His handwriting is
appalling and there have been some memorable occasions when even

he couldnt read what hed written. One page is a total mess

apparently, hed drafted the figures, realised hed left out one of the
regions and scrawled the details on the back of the page, with lines
wiggling about to show me where they should go. Oh joy!
Lunch is more cream crackers with cheese and an apple. And
while consuming this far from inspiring repast I give my mind to
drafting menus for the week if I get some mince, I can stretch it
over several meals ditto some sausages maybe. Potatoes will help
and I must get some bread and a lettuce. I wonder what the two
for the price of one offer will be at the supermarket this week. The
other week it was turkey escalopes they were fine for the first two
meals but after four meals, I got a bit fed up with them. Not having a
proper freezer is a problem and the little freezer compartment in the
fridge is worse than useless.
Four months, Jane then you can re-think.
On my way home, I stop off at the cash dispenser and draw out
15, putting it carefully in my purse, then drop into the bakers to buy
a loaf they reduce the price of their bread towards the end of the day
and its so much nicer than the ready sliced stuff from the corner
shop. At least I dont have to worry about the bus fares for the week
I put that money in a pot at the beginning of the month in coins
bus drivers really do not like it if you give them notes first thing in the
morning.
Theres post on the mat. I pick it up, pushing the door closed
with my foot as I look through the envelopes. Two unmissable offers
on credit cards (in your dreams!) they go straight into the bin, as
does the double-glazing ad and the envelope addressed to The
occupier which doesnt have an address on it at all. That leaves a top
quality envelope with a typed address and the multi-coloured
brochure which the local supermarket sends round every week
showing all the special offers.
Leaving these on the side in the kitchen, I rush into the bedroom
to get out of my suit and change into something warm. Im not
putting the heating on until I absolutely have to. A war m track suit
and a jumper in the evenings is sensible if not particularly glamorous.
But then I dont have to worry about glamour now, do I? Thank
goodness the autumn is staying mildish.

Feeling a little more like myself, I come back down to the

kitchen and open the envelope. I cant for the life of me think what it
could be. After all, I dont have any family, and my friends dont
write letters so I dont get much in the way of personal post unless
you count bank statements.
Its from a firm of solicitors based in Bristol.
Brewster Toms - Ive never heard of them my eyes on the
letter, I perch on the high stool by the breakfast bar, and read what it
says.
This letter for all its four paragraphs can only be termed
unenlightening. I read it twice and am none the wiser.
The writer signature unreadable but initials GWB according to
the reference at the top of the letter asks that I contact the firm in
connection with sundry family matters which will be of beneficial
interest to me. For a moment, I wonder if its a scam of some sort
one reads about people being taken in by the You have been selected
out of a population of a million as a winner type thing but the
paper is very good quality and the signature is genuinely written; it
certainly looks authentic.
Family matters now thats a stunner. Im the only offspring
my parents produced - I often thought that they tried sex once and
decided it wasnt for them which gives a pretty accurate picture of
how much natural affection featured in my home life. My mother was
one of twins the other being a boy. Hed emigrated to the other side
of the world before I was born. Mum and he were the sort of twins
that hated the sight of each other none of this special bond
business. He may have married and had children but I have no idea at
all if thats the case or not.
My fathers family were slightly more interesting he had two
older sisters. I only met one of them Aunt Joyce. She was a lot
older than dad and a bit of a Victorian hangover I remember going
to visit when I was a kid and being totally overawed by the chenille
tablecloth, complete with bobble fringe, neatly topped off with an
aspidistra in a brass pot all of which was out of my experience at the
time.
I dont think she had any children I vaguely remember an
uncle but he died (?) when I was very small.

10

Aunt Joyce died while I was away on a school trip one year and
I never heard any more about her. There was some sort of scandal
about the other sister she was never mentioned I dont think I even
know what her name was. She came between Dad and Aunt Joyce, so
by my calculations, she could well be dead by now.
Mum and Dad had married late another reason I was an only
child, I suppose and were pretty old fashioned in their ideas.
Theyre both dead now Dad retired late but couldnt adapt to a
slower lifestyle after a lifetime of going flat out or else it was just
that he couldnt cope with being with Mum all day either is
possible. Jane, you are sounding more cynical by the day theyre
your parents for heavens sake! You must have loved them
mustnt you? Dad died of pneumonia following a nasty dose of flu
about ten years ago. Mum managed quite well without him until four
years ago when she suddenly went downhill she was getting on for
eighty and the doctor said there was a heart problem which had
suddenly surfaced. Id moved in with her for what turned out to be
the last few months to help out but she never said anything about
family. In fact, afterwards, when I was trying to sort out the stuff in
the house, Id been surprised at the total lack of any documents, letters
or even photos relating to the family. But perhaps I shouldnt have
been, we were never close Mum was a narrow-minded,
cantankerous old bat at the best of times.
By modern standards, you could say that I had an emotionally
deprived childhood and, if I had been the sort of child who needed to
be nurtured and cuddled, perhaps it would have had a negative effect,
but Im the practical, down-to-earth type, the reliable one whos
usually picked for the hockey team halfway through the teamchoosing process not because I was a good player but because I
could be depended upon not to make a mess of it for those who were.
That just about sums me up, I suppose I get on with things and dont
make a mess of them.
Apart from relationships, that is.
I have Olympic Gold Medal status in that field hence the
financial fix Im currently in.
I spend the evening clearing up the mess in the lounge. The
hoover doesnt do a very good job of picking up the bits of card so, in

11

the end, I have to resort to a dustpan and brush on my knees. It takes

hours and I am more than ready for bed by the time Ive finished.
Having decided to call the solicitors from the office in the
morning (thank heaven I have a generous employer!) I lie in bed
pondering the question of family matters yet again. trawling every
memory I can dig up but still no light is shed. Oh well, Ill find
out tomorrow maybe.

12

2. JANE GOES TO BRISTOL

When I get into the office next morning, I find that Matthew has
left the report I typed up yesterday on my desk hes made some
revisions and added a few more figures which means I have to
completely re-vamp the spreadsheet .. sounds simple add another
three rows in the middle and a column at the end until you try to get
it all on the one page and still maintain the headings. But, by eleven I
have achieved the objective and, giving him the printed out result to
check over, I grab the phone to make this phone call.
Good morning, may I speak to your reference GWB please? I
asked in my most professional voice.
The girl at the other end informs me in a broad Bristolian accent
that Mr Brewster int in and she doesnt know where hes to. I
ask to speak to his secretary a concept which stuns the receptionist
into silence now, I am not prejudiced against local accents but
there is a definite feeling that this young lady is a few sandwiches
short of a picnic, which is nothing whatsoever to do with her accent.
Ill see ifn shes in.
I wait.
There is a click and another female voice takes up the call.
Hello, can I help you?
I explain who I am and that Ive had a letter from them asking
me to make contact.
Ah, Miss Mortimer yes. Im afraid Mr Brewster is out at
the moment, can he call you back?
Yes, I give her my work number, But can you give me some
idea what its all about?
Sorry, you need to talk to Mr Brewster. She said firmly Ill
get him to call you as soon as he gets back.
This is frustrating to say the least.
Anyhow, the man rings me at 3.10 and starts by apologising for
not being in when I called, which surprises me but Im not going to
quibble at a demonstration of good manners. Again, I ask if he can
tell me what it is all about.

13

I really need to see your credentials, Miss Mortimer, before I

can go into details. Would it be possible for you to call at my offices
with your birth certificate or passport?
Um are you open on Saturdays? Only Im reluctant to take
time off work if I dont have to.
Oh yes, were open on Saturday mornings, Miss Mortimer. I
could fit you in at 10.00 a.m. tomorrow if you can get here.
I ask for directions, explaining that Ill be coming by train,
crossing my fingers that it wont be too expensive. He agrees to fax
them to me here in the office saying that his office is walking distance
from Temple Meads Station then, telling me that hes looking forward
to meeting me, he hangs up.
His secretary is obviously more efficient than their receptionist
as the promised directions appear on my fax machine within five
minutes. I look at the map shes included - yes, I should be able to
find their offices.
A quick scan on the internet tells me that theres a train from
Taunton whichll get me to Bristol for 9.40 - should be okay.
Thus it is that on Saturday morning, horribly aware that I only
have 15 in my purse and that this has to feed me for the week, I
present myself at the station in good time for the train and buy a
ticket.
Oh well, who needs to eat? This better be worth it
Money I stare out of the window at the passing countryside
worrying. I know Ive set myself a pretty high target for repaying this
debt and that its stretching me doing it, but I wont feel free until its
paid off. Its not just the money either, as long as I have that debt
hanging over my head, I dont feel I can move on from the
relationship. Alan was a complete sod in lots of ways but I loved him
and it still hurts, and every penny I spend which I dont have to spend,
makes freedom that much further away. Okay, so I have a small
emergency fund of a few hundred pounds tucked away but I really
dont want to use that unless I absolutely have to when thats gone,
Ill have nothing to fall back on and that is a truly frightening concept.
Map in hand, I navigate from Temple Meads Station along
Victoria Street towards Bristol Bridge and find the address on the
letterhead. Brewster Toms are obviously a large and prestigious firm

14

if their offices are anything to go by. Where on earth did they get
their receptionist and more to the point why? One of lifes little
mysteries.
The waiting area is a sumptuous, glass ceilinged atrium. Youd
think it was one of the more up-market hotel lounges from the
furniture; the palm trees are very impressive one can almost imagine
a discreet trio of string players appearing and taking their seats to play
to the waiting clientele. Thank goodness I decided to wear my blue
suit, its smartish and at least makes me look sort of professional.
A lift goes ping and disgorges a man of about my own age who
goes over to the reception desk where he has a brief conversation with
the receptionist who points him in my direction. This must be Mr
Brewster. If he is the Brewster of Brewster Toms, he is doing very
well for his age.
Miss Mortimer? he asked, holding out his hand to shake mine.
Thank you for coming all this way. Do come up to my office. Can I
offer you some refreshment? Coffee perhaps?
Thank you, black coffee would be very nice.
He gives the order to the receptionist and tells her clearly that
we are going up to his office, almost employing sign language in his
effort to get the message across. It is rather amusing to watch and I
have to repress a smile. He obviously has a similar view to mine of
her capabilities.
I trust the trains were running efficiently this morning, Miss
Mortimer. He said conversationally as we went up in the lift.
Oh yes, no problem at all. I replied wondering just what else
he was expecting me to say.
He leads me into his office a large room with floor to ceiling
windows along one wall providing amazing views across the river. It
seems that he doesnt want to get down to business until weve got the
coffee so we make small talk for the ten minutes or so it takes for a
tray of coffee to appear on his desk (slopped into the saucers why
am I not surprised about this?).
Thank you, um er he said as she leaves the room,
banging the door behind her. Shes a temp our usual girl is on
maternity leave.

15

He hands me a cup of coffee, apologising for the slops in the

saucer. I dont tell him that I ran out of coffee three days ago and that
this is just heavenly, slops and all.
Right, down to business. You must be wondering why we
contacted you, Miss Mortimer. He said stating the obvious ; I smile
sweetly, May I see your credentials, please? he asked and I hand
over my passport, remnant of a weekend in France so that Alan could
buy a load of cheap booze to sell to his mates its a pretty foul
picture (arent they always?) but undeniably me. Thank you.
He inspects it, hands it back to me and opens the file on his
desk.
Some months ago we were instructed to discover your
whereabouts and situation by Mrs Elizabeth Goulden.
He looks up at me but I have no idea who hes talking about and
thats doubtless writ large on my face.
Shes an elderly and frail lady now and as you are her only
relative, she feels it would be appropriate for you to become
acquainted.
But who is she?
I understand that shes your aunt the sister of your father.
She married a Mr Goulden.
Oh. I see.
Which is only partly untrue I realise who she is now but
why she should want to make contact is still beyond me from the
little Dad ever said about her, they hated each others guts.
Mr Brewster smiles, obviously he knows something of the
situation.
Mrs Goulden has been a client of this firm for um she
was one of my fathers original clients.
Ah! Second generation Brewster!
Shes somewhat of an eccentric lady. He said tactfully, which
probably means shes barking mad.
But why does she want to see me? She and my father never got
on from what I heard. I asked with a sinking feeling. Im beginning
to think that Ive spent my train fare for nothing.
She asked us to find out about you some months ago. It took
some time as all we had to go on was your fathers address thirty

16

years ago and a birth date for yourself. However, it is amazing what a
private detective can discover and here you are.
I glance at the file in front of him what they have found out
about me, and more to the point, why?
Just what have you found out about me? I asked sharply, noone likes having their private life dug over.
He looks more embarrassed than ever and I find I feel slightly
sorry for him this is not what he usually has to do for his clients, I
bet.
You work for Jones Spinner & Company Limited, as secretary
to the financial director. Youve been there for some years and are
highly thought of as a secretary. He raises his eyes and smiles at me
I dont respond; he resumes his reading. You are unmarried, rent
a flat in Taunton which you used to share with your boyfriend, but
which you now occupy alone as ... as he walked out um the
relationship ended last year leaving you with a substantial debt, which
you are pushing yourself to the limit to repay. You used to drive a
Peugeot 106 which you bought following the death of your mother
but this was written off about the time of the relationship breakdown
and you have not replaced it.
And ? I asked, chin up and eyes flashing, trying to conceal
my shame at having my personal matters laid out so starkly.
Im sorry, Miss Mortimer, it must seem dreadfully intrusive.
As I said, Mrs Goulden is something of an eccentric.
That is one word you could use. I said allowing my temper to
show for a fraction of a second. I can think of others. Having
ascertained this, what does she want from me?
Shed like to meet you. She lives in Bath and is more than
happy to pay any travelling expenses you incur, and that goes for your
trip here today as well. I am authorised to reimburse you before you
leave and provide you with sufficient cash for the trip to Bath.
He pauses this isnt a comfortable interview for him, that
much is patently clear I feel a sudden pang of pity for him
however much shes paying him, it isnt enough.
She asks that you go to see her on Thursday of next week.
Id have to arrange leave with my boss. I protested weakly.

17

Thats understood and if its not possible well arrange another

day. He said anxious to placate me. I realise that this is all rather
strange.
You could put it like that. I replied dryly, Have you any idea
what she wants with me? I really dont buy into this long lost relation
bridge-building bit personally.
Thats a reasonable reaction on your part, Miss Mortimer, he
said with a wry smile, But no, I have no idea why she wants to see
you. If you agree to go, I have instructions to give you this envelope
and the money for your travelling expenses.
Oh well, I suppose Id better go. I just hope shes pleasanter
than either of her siblings Aunt Joyce was an autocratic old woman
and my father wasnt exactly charm on legs either!
He tries to hide a smile,
Mr Brewster, there is nothing new about dysfunctional families,
mine was frightful I have no illusions about that!
We both laugh hes apparently relieved to have got the
awkward bit out of the way and relaxes a bit. He hands me an
envelope and we sort out the cash hes guessing that the fare from
Taunton to Bath will be about 30.
Ill let you have the change if it is less than that.
Nonsense! If there is any buy yourself a coffee with it.
I debate fighting him over this Jane! You idiot, its not worth
it! Okay, so your prides taken a battering this morning, but theres
no need to be stupid.
One thing I can tell you, he added, watching me put the notes
away in my purse, When Mrs Goulden heard how hard you were
working to pay off the debt that bastard left you with oh, excuse me

Dont worry youre quite accurate as far as thats concerned!

I said, appreciative of his fighting my corner and rather enjoying his
embarrassment.
Yes, well when she heard about that she was very impressed
and became very enthusiastic about meeting you. She commented
that you didnt sound much like her brother and seemed pleased about
it.
How odd. Where does she live? How shall I find the place?

18

I shall let Mrs Goulden know that you will go over as arranged
and call you at work to tell you the arrangements, if thats all right.
Okay.
I rise and hold out my hand.
Thank you, Mr Brewster.
Nice meeting you Miss Mortimer, I have no doubt I shall see
you again, he said, as he showed me out, Good luck on Thursday.
Fighting the temptation to blow some of the money on lunch (I
brought sandwiches and an apple with me), I walk to the station. Ill
open the envelope when I get on the train.
Theres quite wait for the next train back to Taunton so I sit on
the platform eating my sandwiches and thinking about the morning.
It was a shock having my private life so openly exposed rather
horrible.
Poor Mr Brewster he had a difficult morning with me. Nice
man not bad looking either.
The train draws into the station. I stand on the edge of the
platform and wait for the little lights to come on round the switch so
that I can open the door. I find a seat and make myself comfortable
before getting out the envelope.
It is addressed to Jane Mortimer in a rather attractive
copperplate hand unusual in this day and age. The envelope is
beautiful thick, cream coloured paper I open it and draw out the
paper inside. It is a copy of a sonnet, Shakespeare
Let us not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandring bark,
Whose worths unknown although his height be taken,
Loves not Times fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickles compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

19

If this be error and upon me provd

I never writ, nor no man ever lovd.
how odd At the bottom shes written a few more lines,
Jane, You doubtless wonder why this old woman is contacting
you. I saw you once when you were a baby and you gave me a
very clear look from those brown eyes of yours. Ive never
forgotten it. The report theyve given me about you suggests
that life has not been easy for you, yet youve not given in. I
admire that. Im much the same myself. My doctors tell me that
I shall be bedridden sooner or later which is rather annoying Id like to see your brown eyes again.
And thats all theres nothing more. How odd. Why the
sonnet? I know it well its one of my favourites. I got into
Shakespeares sonnets when I did A level English and this one has
always struck a spark with me.
She saw me as a baby?
Mum and Dad never mentioned her visiting at all ever.
She sounds quite lucid and definitely not like Aunt Joyce who
was much more of the youve made your bed and you must lie on it
variety.
I stare out of the window at the fields beside the railway track
sheep are grazing the last of the summer grass and there are a few
fields with horses as well.
Its odd suddenly having family. Ive been on my own for so
long Im not sure how I feel about it.

20

3. JANE MEETS LIZZIE

The weekend goes slowly.
It drizzles all day Sunday and I feel hemmed in by the flat.
Theres nothing on the TV and I havent got round to changing my
library books so have nothing to read either there are a few books
on the shelves but Ive read them all several times. After standing
at the window for half an hour looking at the raindrops dribbling
down the glass and debating whether to or not, I bite the bullet and go
out for a walk its not heavy enough for an umbrella but quite
sufficient to make my hair hang down in soggy rats tails within
minutes. Shoulders hunched against the wet, I make my way down to
the park. There are a few people out walking their dogs but no-one
else just walking for the fun of it did I say fun? Jane you are
crazy!
The park isnt particularly inspiring the flower beds have been
stripped of their summer bedding now and are empty, waiting for the
winter planting to be put in - everything is that shade of muddy green
you get when grass has been trampled and not re-grown yet and
brown already I loathe it. Im a creature of warmth and hate to be
cold. Autumn when everything is dying back and fading is hell for
me; winter is endurable but autumn is hard. It is the time of year
when I feel the years inexorably flying past.
As a child I lived very much in my own world; I read a lot.
Mum and Dad didnt seem particularly interested in me oh, they
ensured I was fed, suitably clothed and generally looked after but they
werent interested in me as a person. They never seemed to indulge in
dreams of what I would be like my friends parents at least, if they
did, I never found out about it. I never felt it really you dont
question it if you grow up with something, just accept it as the norm.
In fact I hadnt noticed it until I went to college and comments other
students made set me thinking. If I thought about the future at all, I
had a hazy view of a husband and family that is what you do, isnt it
he never had a face; he was just the husband.
Id done well at school and trained as a personal secretary it
was a good steady job and, ever the practical one, it seemed a sensible
idea and my parents always encouraged me to be sensible and
21

practical anything else was just wasted time. I remember they had a
fit once when I suggested that I might learn a musical instrument.
Youd think that I was suggesting that I become a prostitute the way
they went on about it.
Im not bad looking and have tried hard to keep my figure
reasonable and thereve been a few men in and out of my life over the
years, of course, but the husband has never appeared. Alan seemed
too good to be true when I met him he was charming and fun and
Id fallen for him heavily. But Id been right about him being too
good to be true. Since he left, Ive not been thinking about the future,
just concentrating on getting by day to day Im getting very good
at it.
Aimlessly, I wander down to the pond and watch the ducks on
the water. Seeing me standing there, they come over in a flock
clamouring to be fed - I sometimes bring some bread down for them
as I enjoy feeding them but as soon as they realise my pockets are
empty they scatter.
I wonder what I should call her Aunt Elizabeth? Betty?
Eliza . There are lots of possibilities with that name.
******
As soon as I arrive at the office on Monday morning, I get out
my leave sheet and put down that I want a day off on Thursday.
I take it in to Matthew with his post. I dont often request leave
and have almost my full entitlement for the year still to take. There
hasnt seemed much point taking time off this year.
Thursday, Jane? Thats fine why dont you take Friday as
well and make a long weekend of it? Youve got the leave due to you
and havent had a break for months. He said kindly.
Yes, I could, couldnt I? I said thinking about it, Okay, put
me down for Friday too, Matthew.
After all, its conceivable that I might need a day to get over the
experience of meeting my aunt.
The week goes past slowly. The weathers settled into a damp,
miserable greyness which is downright depressing and Im glad I

22

invested in minced beef when I went shopping, with cabbage and

potatoes its warming and filling not to mention reasonably cheap.
I spend one evening putting away all the summer clothes
hanging in the wardrobe I have a plastic sealable bag which lives
under the bed and swop clothes over according to season. As I
carefully fold my summerware, I realise that Ive worn the same stuff
to the office on and off for years never realised that before. What a
horrifying thought.
Im turning into the middle-aged secretary
whos been with the firm since the year dot and always wears the
same outfit help ...
Mr Brewster rings on Wednesday morning to tell me that Mrs
Goulden is delighted that Im going tomorrow and asking if I know
what time my train will arrive in Bath.
She wants to send someone to meet you at the station.
I give him the details of trains, adding that I dont know how
this person will recognise me.
Mrs Goulden is sure there wont be a problem. He answered
cryptically.
Oh well itll save me a taxi fare.
I hope you have a nice break, Jane. Matthew said to me as I
packed up on Wednesday night, Are you doing anything special?
Im going over to Bath to visit a relative of mine.
I didnt know you had any relations, Jane. Youve never
mentioned anyone before. He said perching his behind on the edge
of my desk.
No. I didnt know I had either. I said, going on to explain
about the letter and the visit to the solicitor. Im going to meet her
tomorrow.
I hope it goes well, Jane. He said as I pick my bag and prepare
to go.
Thanks it all feels rather odd.
Deciding what to wear is a nightmare do I go all formal in a
suit or do I wear my jeans, striking a casual note.
In the end the
matter is decided for me the skirt of my suit has a mark on it which
will need washing. Jeans and a jumper it is. If nothing else, theyre
presentable and tidy. My long black coat and gloves finish the outfit
at least I dont look like someones poor relation.

23

I take a book to read on the train (the library was open late on
Tuesday and I managed to get there to change my books) but my
mind is racing too much to concentrate on the plot and after Ive read
the same page three times and still have no idea what it is about, I put
the wretched thing away and stare out of the window.
I dont usually suffer from nerves but today I have a bad attack
of butterflies in my tummy.
Why? Why should I be nervous?
I come to the rather humbling conclusion that its because I want
her to like me.
Oh come on, Jane! Youre a big girl now and fairy stories dont
happen. Dont set yourself up for a big disappointment, Jane!
But honesty requires that I face the fact that Ive been on my
own for so long that the possibility of family is too attractive for
words.
As the train approaches Bath, I note that the skies have cleared
and theres even a patch of blue visible that lifts my spirits. The
hours journey pondering the situation has lead to me reasoning
myself into a fair old state of negativity on the basis that the less I
expect the less I shall be disappointed.
Standing waiting for the train door to open, I try to be more
positive. Its an adventure, Jane I wish it felt like one
As I make my way down the steps from the platform to the exit,
I find myself wondering how I shall find the person whos collecting
me a little nervously, I come to a halt just outside the main doors
of the station and stand there looking around. The scene before me is
a bustling, busy one lots of cars manoeuvring in a small space and
people coming and going in all directions.
A soft voice at my side gets my attention, Miss Mortimer?
Yes, thats me! Relief flooding through me, I turn and nod,
taking in the young man addressing me. Hes in his early twenties I
guess, casually dressed and friendly looking.
Welcome to Bath! The cars over here. Im Dave, by the
way. He said leading me towards a battered red car which is parked
on double yellow lines.
He opens the passenger door for me.

24

Sorry about the clutter. He said picking up the heap of papers

on the passenger seat and throwing it into the back of the car where
most of it lands in a tidy pile, scattering two or three sheets that slither
onto into the footwell.
It occurs to me that he could be a student there are a couple of
universities here in Bath, arent there?
The journey only takes ten minutes we drive past some
beautiful Regency buildings, round the top of Victoria Park (as the
sign tells me) and then down a quiet, tree-lined road with large
detached houses along both sides. He pulls into the drive of one on
the left an impressive, three storey, square building in Bath stone set
in a gravel drive fringed by laurels. There are a couple of other cars
parked outside the front of the house.
Dave makes no move to get out of the car, hes obviously not
coming in with me, so I thank him for the lift and get a grin in return.
He drives off again while I gather together my nerves and walk across
the gravel up to the imposing front door.
What am I doing here? This is a bloody stupid idea but Im
here now.
Giving myself a shake, I quickly scan the doorway for a
doorbell . and dont find one. All I can see is an enormous knocker
which looks as though it could have been the model for a Muppet
character; I grasp it and announce my presence. The door is large
enough for one to expect it to creak when it opens and for there to be
a wizened elderly retainer standing there wrong again, Jane As
the echoes of the knocker die away, I hear light, running footsteps
crossing a tiled floor and the door is opened suddenly and silently,
revealing a slim, friendly-looking woman of about thirty. She smiles
at me and opens the door wide,
You must be Jane.
Come in that wretch, Dave, was
supposed to let us know when he got here!
She draws me into the hallway and waits while I take off my
coat, hanging it on the hat stand in the corner of the room a lovely
square area lit by a vast window high in the wall behind me. This is
quite a house, almost a mansion. What have I got myself into?
Im Tina. Shes waiting to see you in the Pink Room.

25

Mystified and not a little daunted, I follow as she leads me up

the enormous flight of stairs set in the middle of the wall facing the
door. We go up to the first floor where the corridor branches left and
right she turns to the left towards the door at the end of the corridor
which stands slightly ajar, Tina pushes it so that it opens fully, steps
into the room beckoning me to follow and announces to whoevers
inside that Ive arrived.
Taking a deep breath, I summon all my courage and walk into
the room. Immediately it is obvious why its called the Pink Room. I
suppose the best word to use to describe this room is salon it is
vast - you could fit most of my flat in here without any trouble at all.
The walls are a delightful squashed strawberry colour, with floor
to ceiling curtains of a deeper rose framing the windows. The carpet
is a paler pink, almost white, and there are small rugs reflecting the
deep rose scattered here and there. The overall effect is of warmth,
friendliness and unbelievable clutter half a dozen tables covered
with what are obviously souvenirs of past events, people and
memories are scattered round the room. It looks messy but somehow
it works.
Over by the window is a small group of armchairs arranged
around a table which is obviously used for practical purposes and not
display. Seated in one of the chairs is an elderly lady dressed in an
amazing collection of garments colourful, floral chiffons flutter over
toning blocks of heavier fabrics; even though she is sitting down, I get
a clear impression of vitality and movement.
Jane, my dear! Come and sit down. Said a musical voice full
of barely concealed amusement.
I pick my way cautiously through the tables and various other
items which delineate the routes crossing the room one pathway
going off to the group of chairs by the window, another wandering
round the tables to cupboards and shelves set against the walls. It
feels rather like an indoor jungle and the draped floaty fabrics
attached to the ceiling moving slightly in air only increase this
impression. Anything further from my Aunt Joyces house I cannot
imagine.

26

Do excuse me for not getting up, my dear, only my legs are not
playing ball today! she explained with an impish grin, gesturing to
the chair beside her. Do come and sit down.
I do as she asks, rather overwhelmed by both the welcome and
the room nothing in my life to date has ever come close to this level
of the unconventional.
The door opens and Tina comes in carrying a large tray on
which I can see a coffee pot and a plateful of sandwiches.
I hope you dont mind a snack lunch, Jane, only we eat our
main meal in the evenings. The woman I can only conclude is my
aunt says, as Tina sets her burden of plates, cups and saucers down on
the table in front of us.
There are several different types of sandwiches, a plate of cakes
and some fruit.
No, no, this is fine, thank you. I stuttered realising that Id not
actually said a word since entering the room and anxious not to appear
rude. I do the same myself.
Good. Help yourself, Jane.
Tina has given me a plate and moved the table closer so that we
can both reach it without trouble.
Would you mind pouring the coffee, Jane?
Grateful for something to do, I grasp the coffee pot a large,
heavy silver one and manage to fill a cup with steaming black
coffee without slopping it. I hand it to my aunt, who I realise is
watching me with bright little eyes and a smile. Her smile is warm
and friendly and I find myself responding to it.
This is cosy! she announced, helping herself to one of the
sandwiches. Dave found you without any trouble then?
Yes, I dont know how he knew it was me though. I replied,
helping myself to a second sandwich theyre rather good Im
starving her smile becomes a grin and she chuckles.

27

4. LIZZIE HOUSE
Lying in bed staring at the ceiling, I try to get my head round the
events of the day. My Aunt Elizabeth is not at all like either of her
siblings that much became perfectly clear within ten minutes of my
arrival.
For a start off, she has a wicked sense of humour and laughs a
lot not a trait either my Aunt Joyce nor, for that matter, my father,
showed the remotest sign of having ever. Lunch had been one of
the pleasantest experiences Ive had for a long time. Not only were
the sandwiches tasty, but Lizzie, as I was very soon instructed to call
her (Aunt makes her feel old), very quickly made me feel as though I
had known her for ever.
It was also lovely and warm in the Pink Room. Ive got so used
to being chilly at home.
On reflection, she put me through a pretty effective third degree
not that it felt like that at the time far from it, she sounded
genuinely interested in my small achievements, mind you, come to
think of it, there was one very nasty moment when she did a very
good impression of my father in one of his more unpleasant moods
now what was it we were talking about? Oh yes, shed asked me if
Id had any connections with the stage singing, acting, dancing ..
that sort of thing.
Her face when I told her that Id never been
allowed to set foot on a stage not even for the school play - was
grim.
I should think this lady could be unpleasant if she lost her
temper with you.
We sat there most of the afternoon while she told me about her
life. How shed escaped from the strict family regime during the war
and how, when theyd tried to rein her in at the end of the hostilities
by which time she was nearly 20, shed run away to join a repertory
company.
I can imagine how that went down with the rest of the family
no wonder they never mentioned her.
She made a decent living at it for years so must have had talent.
At one point in the afternoon, Tina got out a heap of scrap books and
Lizzie showed me cuttings and handbills of plays and shows she d
28

been in. Its a world Ive never met before and it felt rather odd
trawling through all the pages seeing Lizzie Mortimer plastered
everywhere.
In the sixties shed toured seaside resorts doing variety shows
and pantomime even I could see that her name appeared well up the
list of performers, if not in the starring role. It must have really
annoyed the rest of the family that she dared to used her real name I
can see that this fact alone would have made her laugh if theres one
thing Ive learned about Lizzie today, its that shes not in the
slightest bit stuffy or conventional.
She told me that thered been a period in the 70s when shed
done a little work on TV but didnt enjoy it, even though it paid well,
preferring a live audience, so shed gone back to the stage joining a
company and touring Europe for some months. Shed carried on
working until the middle 80s by which time she was in her fifties and
was being pursued by Maurice Goulden, a fairly wealthy man whod
made a substantial fortune by manufacturing condoms he offered
marriage. She was fond of him her words. Exhibiting the sensible
streak which runs through our family, shed married him, as she put it
giving up the stage before it gave up on her.
Thats when they bought the house here in Bath. They saw this
place called Elizabeth House - and couldnt resist it. Naturally, it
gets shortened to Lizzie House. Lizzie wasnt about to sit back and
do nothing but play housewife, though. Initially, shed got involved
in the local amateur operatic and dramatic societies and through that,
with the arts festival and the artistic community generally. Shes no
empty-headed chorus girl, is Lizzie; she began coaching up and
coming youngsters.
Maurice died two years ago and these days, despite her mobility
problems, she keeps herself busy by holding regular soirees. There is,
it would seem, a constant stream of students, musicians and
performers of all kinds wandering in and out of the house.
While we were chatting, several young people who looked like
students poked their heads round the door at different times to say
hello, and a friendly looking man of about my age popped in to ask if
it was all right for him to practice on the piano for an hour or so.
Lizzie took all this in her stride, telling the student-types they could

29

use the rehearsal room if they liked and giving permission for the
pianist to go ahead. The distant sound of a piano being played
extremely well pleasantly accompanied the rest of our conversation.
By five oclock I was reluctantly starting to think that I ought to
make tracks back to the station. I know the trains run to Bristol fairly
frequently, but getting from Bristol to Taunton isnt so easy. At
some stage during the afternoon, Id mentioned that I had the rest of
the week off work, cant remember how that came up now, but as
soon as I started to make I must be going noises, Lizzie, looking
genuinely disappointed, had pressed me to stay.
My objections that I had not even got a toothbrush let alone a
change of clothing were swept away they keep a supply of
toothbrushes for itinerant visitors (!) and as far as the clothes issue
went, Lizzie said that, as we were much of a size and she has far too
many clothes, I was welcome to help myself to anything I needed
from her wardrobe as though giving her clothes to relative
strangers is a normal activity.
I couldnt come up with any valid reason why I shouldnt stay
and the thought of staying for the weekend which was the
suggestion in a house which is deliciously warm and with proper
food, not to mention entertaining company, was too tempting to
refuse.
Once wed got the matter of me staying settled and Tina had
been instructed to organise a room for me for a nurse she seems to
spend a lot of time doing non-nursing activities! wed gone along to
Lizzies room. She keeps to the first floor most of the time though a
stair lift has been put in so that she can get to the ground floor if she
needs to that must be the gadget I saw on the way in.
Lizzies rooms an eye-opener. The wardrobes stretch all along
one wall and it was with great glee that Lizzie instructed Tina to get
out various outfits for me to try on.
I felt a little shy at first.
Im not used to undressing in
company, but being sensible has its useful points. Lizzie goes in for
what could be termed eccentric garb well, my parents would have
been decidedly less complimentary if the truth were told but I loved
the elegant flowing lines in muted coloured wools jumbled next to
velvets and silks with class written all over them. My mother would

30

have had a fit and initially I was dubious but once Id got my initial
distrust of anything non-sensible out of the way, I had a great time.
For all her eccentricity, Lizzie has an eye for colour and style which
became obvious as we trawled through the clothes picking out
colours which suited me and lines which flattered my figure. She was
very complimentary about my figure I didnt tell her that it was only
the result of cutting back on the food bill.
She was right we are the same size, give or take a bit. Im
slightly taller but thats the only difference even down to shoe sizes.
Once shed selected half a dozen outfits which she said I should
have, she moved her wheelchair over to an enormous chest of drawers
and started pulling out some of the most glorious underwear I have
ever seen. Most of it was brand new and still in the original wrappers
gauzy knickers and matching bras of the sort Ive only ever drooled
over my obvious delight seemed to please her. I tried repeatedly to
talk her out of giving me all this stuff, but she was adamant and,
shrewdly identifying one of my nagging doubts, assured me that she
was not trying to buy me off or even blackmail me just enjoying
playing at being an aunt. I was firmly instructed to think of it as a
backlog of Christmas and birthday presents.
The three of us had dinner together on trays in the Pink Room
I gather that Lizzie only uses the dining room for entertaining
purposes i.e. three or four times a week !
So here I am, lying in a cosy double bed gazing at the ceiling of
an enormous heated bedroom which would not look out of place in a
costume drama, with a full tummy and the prospect of an interesting
day tomorrow. Life is looking up.

31

5. POETRY WITH LIZZIE

I dont know what wakes me, but I awake with a jolt to see
daylight showing round the curtains which I hadnt drawn very well
last night. Enjoying the sheer luxury of a) not having to get up and b)
not having the end of my nose freezing off, I just lie here.
A glance at my watch tells me that it is nearly eight which is, I
suppose, a respectable time for a guest to get up. Ive never stayed at
someones house as a visitor before so am a little uncertain of what
one does. Is it de rigeur to go and help with breakfast or does one
wait until one is called?
What should I do?
I opt to get up and dress Id rather be thought too keen than
lazy.
Theres a bathroom just down the hallway from my room so I
quickly avail myself of its facilities and, putting on my jeans and
jumper, tidy the bed and open the curtains. The view from the
window stops me this room looks out over the back of the house
which is on a slight rise from here I have a clear view over the
houses to the hills on the other side of the city. I feel a little like one
of Jane Austens heroines. Fanny Price perhaps.
I stand outside the bedroom door for a few moments trying to
get my bearings. My rooms on the second floor I suppose it must
be immediately above Lizzies room on the first floor. The main
staircase is directly opposite my room and I head that way, hanging
over the banister to see if I can work out where to go. The faint
clatter of crockery is coming from downstairs somewhere probably
the kitchen. Following the sounds and the tantalising smell of bacon
which underlines my belief that this is the right direction, I tiptoe
down the stairs to the ground floor and opt to investigate the doorway
to the left of the stairs which is standing slightly open, revealing a
glimpse of a modern, well equipped kitchen. Tina is busy cooking
but turns round as my shoes clatter on the quarry tiles.
Morning, Jane! I hope you slept well. She said as she turns
rashers of bacon in a frying pan.
Yes, very well, thank you. Anything I can do to help?

32

She points me towards the kettle which has just started boiling
its head off and asks me to pour it into the teapot on the table.
Whats the routine, Tina? I asked as I carefully pour the
boiling water into the pot, This is all a little unfamiliar to me.
Well, we take breakfast up to Lizzie and then I help her wash
and dress. That usually takes a while as shes pretty stiff in the
mornings.
Has she been like this for long? I asked, perching on a stool
near the kitchen table.
No, shes had twinges on and off for years but about nine
months ago it suddenly got worse. Its the old story that shes
mistreated her joints and muscles for years by dancing and now they
are fighting back. Shes very positive though and that makes it easier
to help her as she works with the pain rather as though it were a dance
exercise. Shes a game lady and Im very fond of her.
I can understand that. Have you been here long?
I came here when Maurice was taken ill he needed twentyfour hour nursing towards the end and Lizzie wasnt physically able
to do it by then, having problems of her own so they got me in.
After he died, I sort of stayed in a joint capacity of nurse and
housekeeper. It is a mad household at times but it suits me.
You certainly seem to enjoy your work. I said slightly
enviously. Thats a lot these days.
What do you do, Jane?
My mouth waters as she piles the bacon up on a plate and puts it
into the oven to keep warm.
Im secretary to the finance director for a firm in Taunton. Its
a steady job.
Doesnt sound as though you enjoy it much. Ti na said looking
at me, What do you do when youre not at work?
Nothing much at the moment. Im trying to get myself out of a
hole. I explain briefly about Alan and the flat. Nothing I cant sort
out, but its not much fun at the moment. The letter from Lizzie was a
bolt from the blue.
I can imagine. Tina said, loading up a tray with breakfast,
Would you like to take this up to Lizzie? Ill come up with you and
open doors and things.

33

Carefully carrying the loaded tray, I set off upstairs after Tina.
Lizzies wide awake and sitting up in bed reading, she looks far too
tidy to have just woken up. She greets us with a massive smile.
Good morning, I hope you slept well, Jane. She said as I lay
the tray down on the table and watch as Tina sets up a table on the bed
so that Lizzie can have her breakfast.
Shes brought up enough for two and sets me a place at a side
table where I can talk to Lizzie.
Very well, thanks Lizzie. I am enjoying being here! I said
with a satisfied sigh.
The thought of going back to the flat looms like a bogeyman.
The contrast between here and there is rather overwhelming.
Im glad about that, because Im enjoying having you here.
She said, tucking into her breakfast with enthusiasm. The writing
circle is meeting here this afternoon, youre more than welcome to
come along and watch, but you dont have if youd rather not.
Id love to come. Whats the writing circle? What do they
do? I asked there are so many things I dont know about.
Lizzies face lights up with affectionate amusement Oh, Tina,
shall we tell her the truth or let her find out for herself? she said, her
grin growing even larger.
Oh, tell her, Lizzie shell appreciate it better if you do that.
Lizzie thinks for a moment, then assumes a straight face and a
demure demeanour giving me a idea of what she must have been
like as an actress.
They are very worthy souls, Jane, retired mostly who meet
here every week and vie with each other to produce a piece of writing
which is actually worth reading an aim which they rarely realise,
Im afraid, but they do so enjoy it. One or two have a little talent but
most of them bust a gut trying to be artistic and meaningful and
havent the faintest idea of how to achieve it. Im afraid that my
sense of the absurd means I dont take them particularly seriously
most of the time which is very naughty of me, but I do give them very
nice cakes. Its so sad to crave the artistic and not be able to get there
you wait until you meet Victor. She said with a wicked look.
I look across at Tina who is grinning,
Victor?

34

Tina laughs: Hes priceless! He has an artistic soul, Jane. His

muse leads him by the nose, by the sound of his poetry! Just dont
let him get you in a corner.
Oh, hes harmless! Lizzie interjected.
Yes, but Jane might not realise that.
Lizzie chuckles, sounding like a young girl.
Leaving that aside, weve got some much nicer guests coming
for dinner tonight, Jane, which reminds me, do we need any s hopping
done, Tina?
Ive got to go and get some bits from the supermarket, Lizzie,
maybe Jane would like to come and give me a hand this morning
while you have your rest. Tina said pointedly.
Oh dont fuss! Lizzie protested.
Im not fussing, Lizzie. Youll need to have a rest this morning
if you are going to be busy all afternoon and then entertain tonight.
You know that.
Oh, all right. You see how I am bullied, Jane! Lizzie
complained half-heartedly.
Tragic, Lizzie, I dont know how you stand it.
I
commiserated, shaking my head in mock sympathy as she lights up
with laughter.
In the end I take the breakfast things down to the kitchen and
wash up while Tina gets Lizzie out of bed and prepared for the day.
The kitchen is totally modern the house is far more up to date than
it appears. As I have already discovered, the central heating system is
the latest in efficiency and the hot water much the same. Just as I
finish, I hear the knocker pounding on the front door. Without
thinking, I go to answer it, drying my hands on the towel as I go. I
open the door. Theres a man standing there hes well wrapped up
in a coat and scarf and in a bad temper.
About time! Keeping me waiting like this. Honestly cleaning
staff get worse. He said as he tries to push past me.
I beg your pardon! I said, in my best professional voice the
one what has been known to stop sales reps in their tracks - and
stepping in front of him Can I help you at all?
He looks at me, registering that Im not one of the cleaners.
I dont know. Who are you?

35

A little disconcerted, I am about to reply when Tinas voice

sounds down the staircase.
Oh Jason, go away. You know, Lizzie wont see you this time
of day. And she wont thank you for being rude to her niece either.
His belligerent attitude immediately disappears, an oily
affability takes its place he looks me up and down as though
assessing what I look like under my clothes, which I find extremely
unpleasant.
Lizzies niece? Didnt know she had one.
Well, she does and Im her. I retorted sharply. I think you
were about to leave. I continued, holding the front door open.
Thank you so much for calling.
I usher him out and close the door. Tina is standing on the stairs
chuckling at me.
Well done, Jane! I havent seen him worsted like that before
Lizzie will love it when I tell her.
She vanishes upstairs again.
Still uncomfortable from this encounter, I go back to the
kitchen. What a nasty piece of work. I wonder who he thinks he is.
When Ive finished in the kitchen, I wander round having a look
in some of the other rooms on the ground floor apart from the well
equipped utility room near the kitchen, they are mostly bare , with
only a scatter of wooden chairs, generally arranged haphazardly
around the room must be the practise rooms for the students.
Its a large house and must have had a few servants running it
originally. I wonder how Lizzie manages now. Surely Tina doesnt
do all the housework. Almost as the thought occurs to me, I hear a
noise in the kitchen and go to investigate. A woman is taking off her
coat, she welcomes me with a smile,
You must be Jane. Im Doreen I keep this place clean or
try to!
Yes, thats right, how did you know? I asked, too many
people seem to know who I am.
Dont you know? Youre the spitting image of Lizzie when she
was younger theres a picture of her which could almost be you.
Have you seen it? she replied as I shake my head. You ask her to
show you, dearie.

36

I must think about this one.

******
Shopping with Tina is pleasant. I push the trolley while she
loads it with the stuff we need. Several people greet her as we walk
around the supermarket, giving me a curious look.
Im still trying to take in the fact that I look like Lizzie.
Certainly, no-one ever told me I looked like my parents or Aunt
Joyce for that matter but families are like that. I conclude that I
rather like the idea Lizzies still an attractive woman and although I
havent half her charm, its nice to think that Im like someone in my
family.
After lunch, I sit with Lizzie in the salon and wait for the writing
circle to appear. Lizzie tells me about Jason Long, the visitor of the
morning.
Hes a poet quite a good one actually but he thinks hes
marvellous which rather spoils things. He also thinks hes Gods gift
to women; hes pretty harmless just a mental lecher. If he does try
anything on, just clout him it usually works.
I find myself hoping that I dont have to try it my experience
of men to date has not included having to fight them off.
The trouble is hes a nuisance socially and is always pestering
me to introduce him to some of the influential people I know I
wont do it, hes far too much of a pain and his work isnt good
enough to compensate. Every now and then he tries to gate crash one
of my parties and I have to throw him out. He never takes the hint
though hide like an elephant!
The writing circle assembles in the Pink Room where some of
the tables have been pushed back out of the way and more chairs
brought in; the people arrive in twos and threes, mostly women
though there are a couple of men. They are nice people earnest and
keen. I sit quietly in a corner and listen to the proceedings. Lizzie is
very good with them, encouraging them to read their works and
leading critical discussion the description she gave me this morning
is not entirely accurate it had led me to believe that Lizzie doesnt
take them seriously, which is far from the case. Im impressed by my

37

aunt she apparently knows what she is talking about and is a born
teacher. Mind you, where she finds the patience I dont know, a
couple of the group are complete idiots even I can see that.
Victor is easy to spot hes wearing a rather tight purple velvet
shirt with a cravat tied in what is probably intended to be a bohemian
fashion even to my ignorant eye, hes a couple of centuries out.
Anyway, the fact hes overweight and balding rather spoils the effect.
Halfway through the session, he stands to recite a poem. Striking a
pose which, unfortunately, merely puts unnecessary strain on the
buttons of his shirt, he declaims his verse. I find my attention is
drawn repeatedly to the button which I feel is about to give up the
fight it doesnt help that his poem is full of adjectives which rather
detract from the sense. One gets the feeling that he has crammed in
as many words as possible probably with a shoehorn. There is a
flutter of applause when he has finished, and he relaxes to bow to his
auditors. Im tense from the strain of waiting for that button to go
flying and, relax my shoulders, catching Lizzies eye as I do. She
clearly understands exactly what is going through my mind. Her
commentary on Victors poem is truly amazing. Without for a
moment suggesting that she thinks it the biggest load of bilge shes
ever heard, she manages to praise his use of words whilst at the same
time implying that he should perhaps aim for greater simplicity. He
listens to her, taking in every word rather like a suppliant at an oracle.
Oh dear, how does she keep a straight face?
Tina brings in tea and cakes at four and the readings cease
Lizzie is right, theyre very good cakes.
Tina insists that Lizzie goes to lie down once they have all gone
but Lizzie wangles permission for me to read to her while she does.
Im handed a volume of poetry with the strict instructions that Lizzie
is not to budge off that bed.
What would you like me to read? I asked, flicking through the
book.
Whatever you like.
Ive always liked poetry and have a reasonable reading voice
at least that is what my teachers always said. There are several of my
favourites in this volume. I slowly work my way through them.

38

You read well, Jane. Lizzie commented after I had read for
nearly an hour, her comment carrying weight now that I know a little
more about her. Which one do you like best?
I like Ozymandias but some of the sonnets get me as well.
What about you? Which is your favourite?
She lies there thinking for a few minutes, then tells me that
some Browning monologues rather appeal.
I probably like them because they are characters and Im an
actress above all. Do you know them?
I look through the book until I get to the section on Robert
Browning and I quickly scan a couple,
No, Ive not met these before. I see what you mean. Can I try
to read one? They look quite complicated. I read My Last Duchess
what a poignant poem.
What do you think of it, Jane?
Its very clever, the way he gives himself away so totally.
Poor woman, how terrible to have lived like that.
Im surprised youve not met Browning before, Jane. You have
a good understanding of poetry. Have you ever written anything?
Oh no. Ive never dabbled in anything like that. I do like
working with words though. My previous job involved writing the
firms newsletter and I enjoyed that. Im good with figures but I
much prefer words.
Your job is very number orientated, isnt it? Lizzie commented
lying with her eyes closed,
Yes, it is mostly producing financial reports. All pretty dry
stuff. Still, it pays the rent. It seems light years away yet Ive only
been here for twenty four hours.
What do you want from life, Jane? Lizzie asked suddenly,
taking me by surprise.
I dont know really. I replied slowly, When I was younger, if
I thought about it at all, it was all the usual things a man wholl
love me children but now that those seem to be off the menu,
its more important not having to worry about where the next penny is
coming from maybe a job I can enjoy.
What about having fun?
I think about it.

39

Thats never really featured, Lizzie. Oh, Ive been happy

enough pottering along and there have been a few men in and out of
my life but earning a living has always been a priority.
Tell me about these men. Who was your first boyfriend?
The first one? Thatd be Darren. I met him when I was at
college he was an arts student - the secretarial section was in the
same part of the campus as the arts, you see. He had talent too I sat
for him once and the resultant picture was shown in the end of year
collection.
What happened to it?
No idea never thought about it before .
Go on what became of him?
Well, he was always having fun, I remember arguing with him
about the fact he was always going to parties and having hangovers. I
was trying hard to work and he just wanted to play. It lasted about
nine months and then we had a terrible row because I wouldnt skive
off a lesson to go somewhere with him. He just didnt understand that
I couldnt do that sort of thing, I had to be sensible.
What happened after college?
I got a job working in a typing pool in an insurance office. It
was lethally boring work but Im a hard worker and was promoted to
be secretary to one of the managers within a year. I went out with one
of the insurance assessors for a while now what was his name
Andy, thats right havent thought about him for years he was
rather straightlaced the total opposite to Darren in almost every way
possible. I remember he lived at home with his mother who still did
everything for him. She didnt like me, I wasnt good enough for her
son, and eventually she managed to persuade him of that. I wasnt too
upset, I have to say. Then there was a period when I didnt go out
with anyone.
What did you do socially, Jane?
Not a lot, I was still living at home, and spent a lot of time in
my room reading, though I did get involved in helping at an old
peoples home reading to the residents and stuff like that Id have
been late twenties by then, I suppose. I also got friendly with Paddy,
a bloke who lived two doors down from home we were only friends,
nothing romantic. He had a battered old MG and was the maddest

40

driver Ive ever met. He was keen on a local band and used to take
me to hear them wherever they were playing. Come to think of it, I
dont think anyone else would go with him the band wasnt that hot.
I remember one memorable evening when the big end went on his car
out in the middle of nowhere and I had to walk home. It was amazing
I got home at about 3.00 a.m. having walked for five miles or so.
The funniest thing about this friendship with Paddy though was when
I was approached by a couple of the other secretaries at the office who
asked if it was true that I had been going out with him . I said yes,
we go to gigs together sometimes and they gasped, asking if it was
true what people said about him. I must have looked a complete idiot
they explained that he was reputed to be the most lecherous man in
town he never laid a finger on me I never quite worked out
whether I should be insulted or not. I moved out about then and, in an
effort to get my social life off the ground, I joined a ramblers club.
A ramblers club?
Yes, if nothing else, it meant I got lots of exercise and saw
some beautiful countryside. Some of the women were a good laugh,
though the men were a dead loss generally. Then Mum became ill
and I went home for a few months she died and, not long after Id
finished sorting out all her affairs, Alan came along. I met him at the
theatre Id won tickets to a performance of The Bacchae in the
office raffle; we got talking during the interval. He knocked me
completely off my feet and within a couple of months he suggested
that we rent the flat together. He was one of the best salesman in the
company he worked for I should have seen the warning signs, I
suppose you dont get to be a good salesman if you dont have
charm and flair and he had them in spades. And then that fell apart.
Oh, Jane!
There are tears running down her face.
Lizzie! Dont cry. Its not worth it. I said, running to get the
tissues which were on her dressing table. Here.
Sorry, my dear, I get soggy at the drop of a hat. She said,
blowing her nose hard and wiping her eyes.
It comes of being a
Piscean!

41

6. JANE MEETS JO & ALASTAIR

I have a lovely hot shower no problem with the water
pressure here its great to be able to give my hair a good wash
Tinas kindly lent me a hairdryer - for once, Im pleased that my hair
is as long as it is itll go with the dress Im wearing tonight.
By the time I leave my room the house is dark with pools of
light along the hallways and on the stairs sufficient to see by but not
glaringly bright. Wearing a long lightweight woollen gown i n a deep
shade of green, my hair hanging loose down my back, I feel like a
princess as I walk along the corridor, my footsteps hushed by the
carpet underfoot its a different world. Out of the blue, Im struck
by an uncharacteristic attack of nerves. What nonsense! Pull yourself
together, Jane its not like you to be so fanciful whats brought
that on?
My pulse pounding in my ears, I reach the dining room and,
taking a deep breath, stretch out a hesitant hand to turn the handle.
The first thing I see is the candle-lit, polished-wood dining table
which is laid for five. Beyond it, gathered round the fire, Lizzie is
holding court, resplendent in pink a favourite colour of hers. She
greets me with a big smile and beckons me over, introducing me as
Jane, her long lost relation.
A dapper, older man with a polka dot bow tie is presented to me,
he greets me by kissing me on both cheeks, which shakes me. Lizzie
explains that Gerald is a friend of hers who used to be a professional
musician like her he has restricted mobility now and lives in a very
nice sheltered housing facility near Chippenham where, she explains
with a wicked grin, he flirts outrageously with all the old ladies. This
statement makes him roar with laughter.
Dont you believe a word of it, my dear! he said with a
twinkle, more than convincing me that Lizzie is being perfectly
truthful.
The other two guests are his daughter, Josephine and her
husband, Alastair. They are about my age and very friendly, Alastair
pouring me a glass of wine from the side table as he tells me not to
pay any attention to Gerald.

42

It transpires that Jo, as she assures me she is called most of the

time, and Alastair are professional musicians. Initially, I feel rather
out of it as the discussion is all about classical music theyre arguing
the pros and cons of various Bach organ pieces and I really dont
know much about that sort of thing, but as soon as Jo realises this, she
draws me over to the side table to replenish our glasses.
Dont mind them, Jane, theyll talk music till the cows come
home! Do you live locally?
No, I live and work in Taunton. I replied sipping the wine
slowly, I dont want to get tipsy and lunch is a long forgotten
memory.
What do you do?
I tell her about my job. She reciprocates by informing me that
she too works in an office, though in Bristol. Why I should be
surprised by this I dont know, I suppose I thought that all arty people
and Jo is a professional singer of some repute from the sound of it
would have less mundane jobs. We swop office horror stories and
compare notes on computer disasters.
By the time we sit down to dinner, Im feeling quite relaxed a
couple of the students are being waitresses for the evening Tina told
me as we prepared the meal that Lizzie employs them sometimes.
The food is a vast improvement on my fare over the past months and I
tuck in with gusto, enjoying listening to them all chatting Lizzie has
known them a long time by the sound of it.
So how is that baby of yours? she asked Alastair at one point.
Her comment startles me surely Jo and Alastair are too old to
have an infant but it seems I am wrong and within seconds Gerald, in
his role as doting grandpa as he delightedly informs me - produces
the latest photos of Eleanor who is nearly nine months old and passes
them round. Shes a pretty baby and Gerald is besotted with her. It is
also abundantly clear that Jo and Alastair are crazy about each other.
Lucky them.
By eleven, the party is breaking up Jo and Alastair have to get
back to relieve their babysitter and are taking Gerald home first.
Once they have gone, Lizzie and I go into the Pink Room.
Jane, its lovely having you here. Lizzie said, as I helped her
settle into her chair. I hope youve enjoyed today. I know I have.

43

Its been lovely I cant thank you enough, Lizzie. The

thought strikes me that going back to Taunton is not going to be very
pleasant I put it away. I have another two days before I need to
worry about that.
Nonsense! What did you make of our guests?
Very nice people, Lizzie, Jos very down to earth. I replied,
then realising that this could be misconstrued, I try to rescue the
situation Not that she shouldnt be of course. ..
But you expected a professional singer to be more
temperamental and less practical is that it? my far too intelligent
aunt suggested with a smile.
I dont mean to be rude. I protested and she waved her hand at
me,
I didnt for a moment think you did, Jane. Its just a realm you
havent wandered into before, isnt that right?
Yes, thats pretty well it. Im not very well up on the arts, Im
afraid.
That can be rectified, Jane. You clearly have an affinity for
literature and I imagine that its lack of opportunity more than
anything which is your problem. Im glad you like Jo though, she is a
darling and hasnt had that easy a time of it either.
Oh?
She and Alastair have only been together for, let me see,
Eleanor was born in February, so that takes us back to last June oh,
about eighteen months.
Surely not! They were talking about events which happened
years ago.
Yes, thats the difficulty.
They met and fell in love some
eight years ago Alastair was married at the time so it was all a little
complicated. Alastair has a delightful son called Jake hes late teens
and a charming boy.
Its clear that theyre crazy about each other. I said, taking all
this in and wondering why I dont feel appalled all this talk of
affairs and stuff would have had my parents screaming. So thats
why they have such a young child.
Exactly sadly, she had a rough time of it when the baby was
born, in fact it was touch and go whether she was going to come

44

through at one point, and the doctor has told her she shouldnt have
any more children, but Eleanor is a charming child and adored by her
parents .. and her half brother for that matter. Jos gone back to work
now and she and Alastair split the parenting between them.
Im still thinking about what Lizzie told me about Jo and
Alastair as I get ready for bed. Maybe its not too late for me to get a
life. Mind you, Im not a talented singer or as good looking or
interesting as Jo. Come on, Jane, keep your feet on the ground. All
this romance and art is going to your head.

45

7. GILES RE-APPEARS
Saturday is a quiet day Lizzie isnt too good after her busy day
yesterday and Tina suggests that I get her to sit and tal k to me for the
afternoon. Were going to a concert at the Assembly Rooms tonight
and shes concerned that Lizziell find it too much if she doesnt rest.
It doesnt take much effort on my part Lizzies very easy to talk to
and we spend a very enjoyable afternoon with her telling me all about
some of the shows she took part in when she was younger.
I am entranced by the tales of life backstage the frantic rushing
about getting changed, the rivalries and tragedies. One story she told
struck me as particularly tragic it was during a variety show they
were doing somewhere on the south coast, a very talented young
dancer had a series of very quick changes which had to be effected in
a space behind the stage, on the stairs leading to the dressing rooms.
In her rush to get back on stage, she slipped down the stairs bare
concrete and, unable to save herself at all, she crashed her head into
the wall at the bottom. She was so seriously injured that she never
danced again. This happened during the show and the audience
never knew everything just carried on as though nothing had
happened. Ive heard the phrase the show must go on but never
realised what it actually means in real terms.
The audience is a strange animal, Jane. Sometimes it loves you
and gives you so much but other times, it just devours you and throws
you away. The trouble is, you just have to get up there on that stage,
it gives you a physical pain not to do it. I still ache every time I go to
a performance and watch other people on the stage, wishing it were
me up there. Silly really, but thats how it gets you.
How did you get involved in the first place, Lizzie?
Ive a pretty good idea what her home life must have been like

Oh it was during the war, Jane. I was born in 1930 and towards
the end of the war, when I was going on fifteen, by which time I was
helping at the local hospital not as a nurse more as a runner.
Someone got together a concert party to entertain the patients
mostly forces men whod been invalided out. Id always sung a bit at
46

church and the organiser was a professional. She spotted my talent

straight away and made me the star of the show. Thinking back it
must have been very homemade as entertainment goes, but the
patients were grateful for whatever they could get. She taught me a
few dance steps and I was away. My parents were totally unaware of
all this, of course, thinking that I was being a consolation to the poor
wounded soldiers. I was, but not as they thought of it! I was a pretty
well developed girl for fifteen and very quickly learned the arts of
performing I was a natural really. Well, the war ended and the
family expected me to go back home to be the dutiful daughter but I
had seen a little of the world and wasnt keen to turn my back on it.
On top of that, I was offered the chance to join a repertory company
on the strength of a recommendation from our producer and, after a
massive row with the parents, I took it. The world was a lot wider
than I thought and there were several times during that first year when
I seriously thought about chucking it all in but my pride baulked at the
thought of going home with my tail between my legs and I stuck at it.
By the second year, I was doing better and going home was never an
option after that except when .. but I never went home again.
Except when what? I asked taken up with her story.
Oh nothing. Do you sing at all?
I dont know, Lizzie. I used to sing the hymns at school but
was never allowed to take part in anything remotely arty so Ive never
really tried. Sounds pathetic at my age, I know, but there it is. I
never realised it before I came here, but Ive had remarkably little to
do with the arts Im only now beginning to see what Ive missed.
Dont go thinking that the stage is a glamorous, fairytale life,
Jane! Lizzie protested, Its far from that. Okay, so it can be fun and
exciting but the down side is that, whatever is going on in your life,
you have to produce a good performance for the audience. You cant
have an off day on the stage and if your heart is breaking you still
have to smile.
I must have looked confused because she went on to elaborate
on this point.
If youre feeling a bit under the weather, Jane, you can just
walk through your job at the office, is that a reasonable thing to say?

47

Yes, I suppose so. I replied, thinking about it There have

been times when Ive been going down with a cold or upset about
something and Ive got away with doing the bare minimum.
Well, if you are in a show you cant do that. Whatever you feel
like, physically rough or emotionally battered, you have to stick on a
smile and give it your best the audience have paid to see a show.
You dont let them down unless youre really dying and even then
only if you have to.
So why do people do it?
Lizzie sits pensively for a few minutes as though straightening
her thoughts out.
Partly because the urge to perform is so great and partly
because the kick you get from an audience is unbelievable and
extremely addictive. That amazing feeling when you have given a
good performance and they are totally yours. She said, eyes shining.
Some people climb mountains to test themselves, Jane, others put
themselves on a stage. Its a perpetual challenge youre only as
good as your last performance and that can always be improved upon.
The day youre satisfied with what youve done, when you no longer
think it can be bettered, thats the day you give it all up.
Is that why theatrical celebrities are um ... larger than life?
I said, choosing my words carefully.
Lizzie smiles at my caution,
If you mean temperamental, spoiled, and sometimes downright
crazy the answer is probably yes.
When you are perpetually
acting a part you lose track of reality. Think about it youre playing
the part of a wife or husband on stage you break down all the usual
barriers which society erects. For how long? A week? A month?
Then you have to stop being the wife or husband and treat that person
as a relative stranger how? Why do you think so many theatrical
marriages go haywire? Its very hard playing opposite someone on
stage for any period of time and not falling in love with them at least a
little. Then if you add on the perpetual stress of am I going to get it
wrong tonight and you start to see why they dont live in the real
world a lot of the time.
I suppose it must be difficult being treated as a celebrity merely
because you sing or whatever on a stage it would go to peoples

48

heads. I commented slowly, giving the matter thought. And then

you have the problem of every part of your life being news. It must
be terrible sometimes.
Yes, but it is also tremendous fun, Jane.
Its getting the
balance right that is difficult and a lot never achieve that. Well go
along to the operatic society sometime and you can see what its all
about. Im a patron of the local one Alastairs their musical director
and Jos a member youd find it interesting.
I like the sound of that though a tiny voice in the back of my
head reminds me that I dont live here Im only a visitor in this
rather appealing fairyland.
Tina comes in at four with a tray of tea for us, after which Lizzie
suggests that I should go and have a shower and think about what to
wear.
We are having dinner at six, Jane, and then going down to the
concert. Its being given by a local choral group called Cantique.
Theyre very good, so Ive heard, they represented the city on a trip to
Prague last year.
What to wear to a concert at the Assembly Rooms that is the
question I am currently trying to resolve. We are having dinner with
the people who are going with us though Lizzie has been
characteristically vague about who they are the twinkle in her eye
when she dodged the question suggests that there is something going
on I may only have known her a couple of days but already Im
getting the hang of how she operates.
She must have been one hell of a handful in her younger days.
For a moment I visualise my father and Aunt Joyce how could they
have had a sister like Lizzie?
I pull out a dress from the collection in the wardrobe and hold it
against myself, looking in the mirror to see what effect it gives. Yes,
that looks okay smart but not too dressy. The fact that its a
delicious shade of deep crimson and clings to my figure before
hanging beautifully to a pointy hemline which is longer on one side
than the other brings a smile to my face. Ive looked at dresses like
this in the shops before but never had reason to buy one. It is
surprising how much I am enjoying this dressing.

49

Ive never worn much in the way of make up it was very much
frowned upon at home and although I experimented a little in my
late teens, Ive never really gone beyond a touch of lipstick and
mascara, with maybe a little eye shadow for special occasions. Im
lucky that my colouring is sufficient to make foundation unnecessary
and, lets face it, Ive never gone anywhere which required me to
dress up so much that full make up with all bells and whistles was a
necessity.
Fortunately, my black coat is suitable for most occasions
without looking naff. A pair of strappy black shoes (yet another
refugee from Lizzies wardrobe) finishes off the outfit and when I
give myself a final check in the mirror, Im pleased with the overall
result. This dress really does emphasise my waistline what a
difference a well cut outfit can make.
Again, I leave my hair loose its just below shoulder length
now and looking quite reasonable. Not particularly in keeping with
my concept of what a forty-something should look like but I am
rapidly learning that the rules Ive always considered to be carved in
stone dont actually have to apply.
Lizzie is in the dining room talking to Tina when I arrive she
looks me up and down and nods approvingly.
Very nice, Jane. Youve got good taste doesnt she look
lovely, Tina? Thats perfect for tonight.
Her praise warms me, positive comments on my appearance
were never forthcoming at home negative ones occasionally, when
they disapproved of what I was wearing, but never positive. Even
thinking about what one looked like was tacitly considered unhealthy.
Sensible, decent and practical were the requirements of clothing.
Glamour, fun and particularly sexiness was frowned on and although I
have rebelled at various times during my life, this early training has
stuck pretty well.
Tina smiles at my obvious pleasure and tells me it looks lovely.
The knocker sounds its usual deafening clamour; Tina rushes off to
open the door and I hear male voices.
Jane, could you pour me a small sherry, please, dear.
I go over to the sideboard where the sherry decanter is standing
to comply which leaves me with my back to the door, so I dont see

50

the gentlemen until I turn to take her glass over to her. To my utter
and very obvious amazement, and Lizzies equally obvious delight, I
know one of them its my Mr Brewster! Whats he doing here?
Thank you, Jane. Lizzie said with that twinkle very evident, as
I give her the glass, Youve met Giles, I know, but not his father,
Joseph, I think.
I shake hands with the elder of the men; so this is Brewster
Senior, founder of the family fortunes quite a charmer too. Where
does Lizzie find them?
He tells me it is a pleasure meeting me.
She is very like you, Lizzie. Especially in that dress! Giles,
you didnt tell me Jane was such an attractive lady.
Giles Brewster is trying (and failing) to suppress a grin as we
shake hands.
Dad, you cant have all the pretty women to yourself, you
know! Jane, nice to see you again.
He follows me over to the sideboard where I am pouring sherry
for his father, and quietly asks how it is all going.
Wonderfully, thanks. Whatre you doing here?
Dad is one of Lizzies oldest friends, in fact Im not entirely
sure that there was not more to it at one point but that was years ago.
Im her godson.
You monster! All that stuff about Mrs Goulden . !
He throws his hands up in mock defence and we both laugh as
we carry glasses over to the others.
Lizzie, I said when there is a lull in the conversation.
Everyone keeps telling me that I am the spitting image of you and
that theres a picture somewhere I feel a complete fool not knowing
what theyre talking about. Where is it? May I see it sometime?
Of course, Jane. She said with that characteri stic twinkle I am
learning to dread, Giles, take Jane down to the Music Room and
show her, will you? Dont be too long though, dinner will be arriving
in a few minutes.
This way, Jane. He said, leading me out of the dining room
and down the stairs to the ground floor.
He opens a door on the right of the hall; the rooms in darkness,
but he gropes for the light switch and soon its flooded with light.

51

Its clearly more than a room, occupying nearly the whole of the side
of the building the size of a small hall. The number of chairs around
the place suggest that it is used for performances.
There it is Lizzie in her prime.
Hes pointing to a full size portrait to the right of the fireplace.
It was obviously painted by a very good artist and depicts Lizzie
standing slightly at an angle with her head turned, looking out of the
portrait, one hand resting on the newel post of a staircase and she
looks for all the world as though she is just going to dash upstairs.
Its so well painted that I almost expect her to move. Theres that
characteristic little smile and the twinkle I would now recognise
anywhere. She looks stunning, in a red dress not unlike the one Im
wearing, her hair loosely tied back and a delicate gold and diamond
necklace sparkling round her neck.
And Im supposed to look like that?
Lizzie was, and still is for that matter, a very attractive woman;
Ive never been that.
Cant you see it? he asked with a grin, drawing me over
towards a full length mirror on the opposite wall of the room. Look,
Jane.
In complete amazement I look at the reflection of myself and the
reflected painting which appears almost next to it in the mirror.
Good God! I whispered, my eyes flashing from one image to
the other.
I stare at him trying to take in this, for me, earthshattering
concept.
Did you honestly not know how good-looking you are, Jane?
he said raising his eyebrows as he registers my confusion, both at the
thought that I might look as good as Lizzie and at his comment Im
not used to men telling me things like that.
Well, I know Im not disgusting, but ..
With a laugh, he takes my arm and leads me out of the room,
carefully turning off the lights.
Come on, lets go eat.
It sounds daft I know, but Im considerably taken aback by this
and feel a complete fool. What must people think of me? Ive
always seen myself as the little mouse in the corner, it was bred into

52

me that Im nothing special but Lizzie definitely is and I look

like that?
Giles is looking concerned by the time we get back to the dining
room.
Are you all right, Jane? he asked, pausing with his hand on
the door handle.
Sorry, its just shaken up all Ive ever believed. I know it
sounds stupid but
Youll get used to it! Come on, lets go and eat.
As we go into the room, Lizzie appeals to Giles to resolve an
argument she is having with Joseph and the subject is dropped.
During the course of dinner, I regain my equilibrium and by the time
we are leaving for the concert, Im back to my normal self. To my
surprise, Lizzie is on her feet and not in a wheelchair. With the aid of
a stick and Josephs arm, she walks slowly out to the car. Despite her
problems, she stands very straight and moves like a dancer. Its the
first time Ive seen her on her feet, Tina tends to push her around the
first floor in a wheelchair.
Giles drives us in his car something rather expensive and
exceedingly comfortable. Its not far; he drops us off at the entrance
to the Assembly Rooms and goes off to park. Standing in the
entrance, Lizzie is greeted by numerous people, all of whom have to
be introduced to me and none of whom I remember the names for.
Giles joins us fairly quickly and we go to take our seats in the
auditorium. Lizzie is clearly a well known and popular figure in the
town, I feel more like Fanny Price than ever.
Stop it! Giles whispers as we walk up the centre aisle to our
seats.
Stop what?
Looking as though you think youre a poor relation!
I give him a surprised look how did he know thats what I was
thinking? All I get is a grin in reply wretched man!
Im sitting between Joseph and Giles talk about a rock and a
hard place. Joseph flirts with me which confuses me completely and
Giles, for some reason, unsettles me. I decide its the fact that he
knows rather more about me than Im comfortable with.

53

I read through the programme it outlines the history of the

group and tells me a little about the music theyll be singing for us.
Most of it goes clean over my head I recognise some of the
composers - Purcell for one Ive heard of him but apart from the
mention of madrigals, it might as well be in Chinese. I am beginning
to realise the enormous gap which there is in my understanding and,
without thinking, sigh heavily.
Whats up, Jane. Giles asked sharply and I remember where I
am.
Oh, Im just beginning to understand just how much I dont
know about the arts. I dont have the faintest idea about any of this
stuff on the programme.
I expect him to laugh at me, but he doesnt.
At least you know you dont know, if you see what I mean.
He replied kindly, An awful lot of people never realise that and go
through life thinking they know it all and looking down on everyone
else. Youll pick it up quickly enough. But just enjoy it therell
doubtless be some pieces you dont like thats okay, you dont have
to like it all. Its all a question of taste and yours seems to be pretty
good from what I have heard, so I wouldnt worry.
Just what has he heard?
The choir are filing in now, their leader or conductor or
whatever he is, looking smart in a dinner suit and bow tie. He bows
to the audience and turns to the choir. A chord from the piano and
they are into their first piece. To my amazement, it is unaccompanied
somehow Id assumed that theyd have a piano or something
playing with them. It starts simply and gradually as each verse
begins, the harmonies multiply and then it all goes into reverse and
the song ends with the tune being sung by some of the women.
While the audience applauds, I peek at the programme Jesus Christ
the Apple Tree I liked that.
The conductor turns and welcomes us to the concert, introducing
the next group of songs. He sends off a group of four people to the
opposite end of the hall which makes me wonder whats going on. As
they go into the next song, it becomes apparent the song is called
The Echo its rather cleverly put together with the small group
echoing what the remainder of the choir are singing.

54

Enjoying it? Giles asked under cover of the applause.

Very much!
The interval is upon us before I realise it. Giles and I are sent
off to get refreshments for the other two. We fight our way slowly to
the bar where the drinks are being served; Giles is hailed on every
side by people who have to be introduced to me so it is some time
before we get back to Lizzie and Joseph. They dont seem to mind
though and are surrounded by people. The whole evenings very
relaxed and most enjoyable. Giles is good company. He and Joseph
change places for the second half Lizzie wants Giles beside her it
doesnt make much difference to me
Joseph is charming and whispers delightfully amusing
comments to me under cover of applause some about the music,
some about members of the audience, and some just flirtatious. I
know Im as high as a kite by the end of the evening I cant
remember ever having enjoyed myself so much.
Tinas on the lookout for us and gives Lizzie a quick once over
as though assessing her physical state while helping her take off her
coat and insisting that she use the stair lift to go up to her rooms.
Stop fussing, Tina! Lizzie says, and by the way she says it I
can tell that this is a regular feature of her life.
Tina laughs and tells us that she has coffee ready for us in the
Pink Room.
So when do you go home, Jane? Joseph asked, bringing me
back to earth with a bump.
Tomorrow Im afraid, Joseph, which reminds me I must find
out what time the trains run, Lizzie. I shall have to be away by
lunchtime if Im to get home and organised for work on Monday.
I could run you back, if you like. Giles offered, handing me a
cup and saucer.
Its rather a long way
Nonsense! We could get away late morning and stop for lunch
on the way it would do me good to get some air after a week in the
office.
The thought is tempting I still havent done any shopping and
theres not much in the way of food in the flat.
Thats a good idea, Giles. Lizzie said.

55

For a dreadful moment I contemplate the possibility that she

wont invite me back again. After all, it hasnt been mentioned at all ;
it dawns on me that it would hurt never to come back again.
Im hoping that Jane will come up every weekend, when she
can. Lizzie went on, If youd like to, that is, Jane.
Oh Lizzie, that would be wonderful!
The relief makes me rather effusive. I nearly upset her coffee by
rushing over and hugging her. Out of the corner of my eye, I see
Joseph and Giles exchange a look. But Lizzies hugging me back and
telling me how pleased she is. Before the men leave, its settled that
Giles will call for me at eleven and drive me back to Taunton. I see
them to the door Lizzies flagging and stays in her chair.
Its been delightful meeting you, Jane. Joseph said kissing me
gently on the cheek I shall look forward to seeing lots more of you!
Ill see you tomorrow, Jane. Giles said and I smile,
remembering the first time we parted, in his office.
Thank you, Mr Brewster. Its most kind of you. I said coyly
and he bursts out laughing.
You are a wicked woman, Miss Mortimer!
Hes still laughing as they walk out to his car.
I stand by the door and wave as they drive off.
Lizzies looking very tired when I get back into the Pink Room
but she insists on talking to me before she goes to bed. Tina is
clearing away the coffee things and assessing her patient as she does
it.
Oh stop it, Tina! Lizzie snapped, Im all right for a few more
minutes.
Tina takes little notice of this, but merely says she will be back
in ten minutes to put Lizzie to bed.
She does fuss so! Lizzie said with what I recognise as
frustration at the need for such fussing. Jane, I mean it about
weekends. If you could come up on a Friday, we d have all day
Saturday and most of Sunday to have fun.
Shes almost pleading with me. I sit on the footstool by her
chair and take her hands,
Lizzie, Id love to. This weekends been amazing, I dont
know when Ive enjoyed myself so much, yet at the same time its

56

been a massive eye-opener. I didnt realise how much I was missing

its as though a great chunk of life has been left out. Thank you for
showing me that.
Goodness knows how I shall manage the cost of transport,
maybe not having to buy food for the weekend will help. She gives
me a big hug and sniffs. Alarmed, I look at her and see that she has
tears running down her face.
Oh Lizzie! but she chuckles at me and says its just her being
damp again.
She blows her nose hard.
Now, Jane. I know youre an independent woman and
probably bloody minded to boot, but you cant fool me into thinking
that you can afford the train fare so I shall be obliged if you would
please give me your bank details and I shall arrange for some cash to
be paid into your account. No dont even think of refusing! she
concluded in a matter of fact, no nonsense voice, as I opened my
mouth to argue with her.
I havent got them with me, Lizzie. I said, giving in Im not
one to fight a lost cause! Ill have to phone you or something.
Why not give them to Giles hes got e-mail and all that sort of
stuff. Lizzie suggested. And while youre at it, your phone number
at work would be useful.
Tina comes into the room with an air of efficiency.
All right, Tina! Ill come peacefully! Lizzie said with a wry
smile.
I follow them out of the room and turn off the lights before
going off to my room.
With a very satisfied sigh, I lie in bed and pull up the covers.
Knowing Ill be back next weekend, I dont mind going home so
much and I have an afternoon in Giless company to look forward
to. A little voice in the back of my head starts muttering about frying
pans and fires but Im asleep before it can worry me.

57

8. GILES TAKES JANE TO GLASTONBURY

I take breakfast up to Lizzies room again on Sunday. Shes not
looking too bright today. As we prepared the food, Tina told me that
the exertion of the concert had given Lizzie a bad night so I was
prepared however, she revives over breakfast and listens as, at her
instigation, I tell her about my job. Shes never worked in an office
and she admits that it all sounds rather mysterious to her : much as her
anecdotes of the stage do to me.
After an hour of gentle chat, Tina appears.
You need to get some more sleep, Lizzie. She said, her tone
brooking no defiance.
and youd better go and get yourself ready, Jane. Giles will be
along shortly.
Just leave whatever you want here, Jane that rooms yours
now. Lizzie added as Tina removed pillows and forced her to lie
down.
Lizzie is still in bed when Giles arrives; she receives him almost
regally in her bed chamber I tease her that shes taking the theatrical
star bit a little too far. Didnt Regency ladies entertain gentlemen in
their boudoirs? Giles plays up to it by taking umbrage at the thought
of being a Regency cicisbeo which brings that twinkle back to
Lizzies eyes.
Youre to get Janes bank details from her, Giles, and her work
phone number. She instructs him firmly there are times when I am
forcibly reminded of my Aunt Joyce except that Aunt Joyce would
never have been seen dead in a very pretty pink bed jacket with lace
round it.
Yes, Lizzie. He said dutifully, kissing her on the cheek before
we leave. Ill be a good boy and look after the nice lady.
With a grin, she takes a playful swipe at him.
Jane, take this reprobate out of my sight! she said as he
retreats out of reach. And come back soon, girl.
This last with a serious look.
I kiss her warmly and say that Ill be back on Friday, which
brings a smile back to her face.
******
58

Giles concentrates on the traffic as he drives out of the city and I

take advantage of this to study him. His mouth is twitching with a
smile hes clearly aware of my observation and, when the traffic
permits, casts a quick glance in my direction.
Your conclusion, madam? he said archly.
I dont think I should tell you. I responded in like tone,
Youre big headed enough already!
You misjudge me. He said plaintively, at which a giggle
escapes me and we both laugh.
I settle down into the very comfortable seat.
Tell me about yourself, Giles. You have an unfair advantage at
the moment knowing all my dark secrets.
Well, thats a pretty tall order. Where do I start um I
was born a year before you exactly a year, if you want to know we
share a birthday. I have two brothers and a sister and live in a village
roughly half way between Bristol and Bath. Im divorced with no
children and no pets. What else do you want to know?
It must have been fun having a large family I often wished I
had had a big brother.
Oh you wouldnt have enjoyed it! Were frightful creatures
according to Sarah, thats my sister. Shes the youngest and always
claimed that we made life hell for her.
So where do you come?
Im the oldest, Colin and Richard are twins theyre a couple
of years younger than me, and then theres Sarah who came along
eight years after them. Colins married with two children he lives
out Oxford way and works as a quantity surveyor; Richards also
married and lives in Gloucester, hes a civil engineer you should
hear them when they get together its a real farce!
What does Sarah do?
Shes a solicitor works in the ethereal realm of intellectual
property for a firm in London. Im the stay at home one who went
into the family business.
And why was that? I asked, I dont see him as the tied-to-theapron strings variety.
Well, mostly because it suited me I like general practice and
at the time the firm was more high street based with a workload of

59

residential conveyancing, family law, probate and the like. Over the
years weve had to spread that a bit to take in more in the way of
corporate law but our core client base is still fairly family orientated
though thats changing now.
My specialisms commercial
conveyancing.
Oh? Is there much call for that sort of thing?
Oh yes theres lots of land being bought up for development
in the South West, so it keeps me busy, though since Dad has semiretired, Ive taken on some of his clients.
I like your dad
Giles grinned at me briefly, acknowledging the comment.
Dad and I are very close. My mother died when Sarah was
born and, after the initial shock had worn off, it drew him and I
together. I was going on ten when Sarah arrived and grew up fairly
fast. Going into the family firm, seemed right.
He glances over at me,
Dont look so sad, Jane. It was a long time ago. Dads sister,
Joan, moved in to take over and she was a very good substitute
mother. On top of that, Lizzie was always in and out of the house
whenever she was in the area. As I told you, shes my godmother,
and we had some good times together. I remember when I was at
university shed arrive and take me out for a mad evening somewhere.
My friends were as jealous as hell and it tickled her no end that th ey
thought I was her toyboy! When she married Maurice and settled in
Bath, I was given the run of the house. I still regard it as my second
home to some extent.
That must have been fun. Ive only seen a very small part of
the way that place works, but cant wait to get back. It seems like
light years since I left Taunton a lifetime away.
Things are a bit rough for you at the moment, arent they? he
said grimly, How long dyou think itll take to get yourself
financially sorted?
I reckon it will take another four months. I said with a sigh,
Thats not so bad, its the unrelenting having to go without things
that gets me down. Every penny I spend is another day in debt
well, thats an exaggeration but you get the jist.

60

The bastard!
he muttered grimly under his breath,
concentrating on negotiating a double roundabout before going on.
Youre not on your own now, Jane. Youve got the weekends in
Bath to look forward to, that should help.
Yes, it will I was dreading going back but knowing that its
only for five days makes a massive difference. I sometimes wake up
in the middle of the night with nightmares about being so alone.
Somehow, just knowing that I have family makes a difference I
wont go moaning to Lizzie but just knowing I can its silly
No, I dont think so. I cant imagine what it must be like being
so totally alone. What on earth do you do if you get sick?
Survive. Not a lot else I can do. Though I confess that my big
fear is that one day Ill be seriously ill and no-one will know. I
shiver at this familiar nightmare of mine. Anyway, enough of this
doom and gloom, lets talk about something else.
Your wish is my command, my lady! What would you like to
talk about? I thought wed stop for lunch in Glastonbury is that
okay with you? And before you start, Im paying.
Giles, you dont have to do that. I lied but he just snorts at me.
How long have you been divorced then? I asked after ten
minutes of silence.
He takes a deep breath working it out,
It must be getting on for ten years now. Good grief, is it really
that long?
He raises his eyebrows in surprise and I watch as he mentally
checks his calculations.
Yes thats right hmmm I didnt realise
Were you married long?
No, not really Maggie and I met at uni and married for all
the wrong reasons, it was stupid and we both realised it within a
couple of years. When she was offered a good job in the north of
England, we were both relieved and called it a day. Shes re-married
and has a little boy now weve stayed friends. You see, no great
drama there either.
Weve reached Glastonbury now. He draws into the car park.
Naturally, he finds a space immediately me : Id have had to circle

61

the car park a couple of times at least. Im learning that Giles is the
kind of man who never has to wait to be served at the bar.
Ill get the ticket. I said, reaching for the door handle.
Oh no, you wont
Giles!
He wont have any of it bloody autocratic man! One of these
days were going to have a really major argument, I can see it.
Its ages since I visited the Glastonbury without a car its not
easy getting around Somerset and anyway, what is the fun in doing it
on your own? The place is crawling with tourists even though it is
nearly November probably doing early Christmas shopping; some of
the shops are showing Christmas wares. We find a little pub in a back
street and sit down to a warming meal of steak and kidney pie with all
the trimmings. Giles is good company and, despite the fact that the
conversation has um ... energetic moments when we disagree
emphatically about something, most of the time we get on well. At
least when we disagree we can agree to respect each others opinion.
We look round a couple of the shops after dinner. Theres the
most amazing diversity of items on sale. One shop is fascinating
full of African artefacts. Carved animals of all kinds and some
delightfully unusual wooden sculptures.
Oh look at this, Giles. I said, holding up a small wooden
candle holder made to hold tea lights its shaped like a hand and
seems to be reaching up to something.
Isnt it gorgeous? Look the woods so beautifully smooth. I
enthused, stroking the fine grained wood. Just feel its silky texture.
He took it from me.
Thats rather nice. You like wood?
Yes, Im a bit of a wood fanatic I admitted as he replacing
the article on the shelf.
Have you seen those rugs over there, Jane? I was thinking that
Lizzie might like one of them. Can you have a look and see what you
think?
Ok. I wander over to look at them theyre very nice but I
cant imagine where Lizzie would put one they are not at all in the
style of Lizzie House.
I dont think so, Giles. I commented, returning to his side.

62

He doesnt seem bothered so we move onto the next shop.

The lights starting to go by the time we get back to the car. As
I settle in the passenger seat, he holds up a bag he must have
bought something in one of the shops.
Just a little something for you, Jane, something to celebrate the
start of your new life. He said seriously.
Oh Giles, that is kind of you. I said, opening the bag excitedly
oh its the wooden candle holder I liked and a pack of tea lights.
Oh thank you it is beautiful.
Its so unexpected that I feel tears pricking my eyes.
Jane, light one every evening to remind you that youre not
alone when youve used up that lot, therell be some more, I
promise.
That does make the tears roll down my face.
Oh, you daft woman! Here, have a tissue.
Thanks, I sniffed, Sorry.
Dont worry about it. Come on, lets get you home. He said
starting the car.
The flat is as I left it the contrast with what I have left in
Bath making it appear even more uninspiring and cold than it usually
is. I invite Giles in for a cup of tea, remembering in time that there is
no coffee.
I suppose you dont put the heating on to save money. Jane,
what are we going to do with you!
I put the kettle on. Ive surreptitiously checked to see that the
milk is still okay thank goodness!
Only four months, Giles, then I can move on.
But youve got the worst of the winter in that four months,
Jane. You cant carry on like this.
I sigh.
Im a big girl, Giles, Ill manage somehow.
You are an independent, stubborn woman, Jane just like
your aunt! I have to laugh at that. And your aunt will have my guts
if I dont take back your bank details.
Ill go and dig them out now.

63

And let me having your e-mail address at work as well. He

called from the kitchen as I root around in the cupboard in the lounge.
The flat feels very quiet after Giles has gone.
It was nice of him to suggest e-mail he said that he uses e-mail
a lot and thought it would be a convenient way to keep in touch.
Nice that he wants to.
I carefully unwrap my present and set it up on the mantelpiece
cant light it as Im out of matches Ill get some tomorrow.
Now get back to normality, Jane ah ironing I drag
out the ironing board and set to, preparing my clothes ready for the
week. Whats that Im humming? It takes me a moment to identify
what the tune is, thats the tune they opened the concert with on
Saturday night its one of those tunes that goes round and round in
your head wish I knew the words

64

9. LUNCH W ITH GILES

Bobs driving the bus again on Monday morning complaining
about the fact there is nothing to complain about from what I can see.
The weathers reasonable for the time of year slightly sunny and
the traffic is behaving.
It wont last, you wait and see. He said shaking his head.
I cant help grinning at him.
Morning, Jane good weekend? Matthew asked when I got to
my office.
Brilliant, thanks. I really enjoyed it.
Good you got on with the aunt, then?
Yes, shes nothing like the rest of the family she used to be
on the stage. Quite successfully, from what I can see. Ill be popping
up there most weekends I think.
Well, youre looking chirpy, so it obviously did you good
now, Jane, I need this report tweaked before the meeting this
afternoon. If I show you what I want
I get down to work.
Mid morning I receive an e-mail from Giles.
Earth to Jane .. hope work is not too horrendous after your
gallivanting.
Silly sod!
Gallivanting was very good for me and has increased my typing
speed, which is just as well considering the report in front of
me! How is life in the big city? It is sunny here in deepest
Somerset Ooooo arrrrr.
His reply comes through just before three in the afternoon clearly
hes had to do some work.
Big city grey and drizzly wish I were in Somerset! Work
manic: everyone and his cat wants to buy development plots by
the looks of it and, naturally, they all have problems. My
secretary is starting to look hunted when I go into her office but
at long last our receptionist has returned I was starting
to harbour murderous thoughts with regard to the temp. Light a
candle for me tonight, fair lady.

65

I can imagine that he must be glad to have his receptionist back that
temp was unbelievably bad. Hed regaled me with some of the more
amusing faux pas shed managed to achieve while he was driving me
home from Glastonbury, but funny though they were, they really do
not present the sort of impression one wants to give clients.
I have matches on the shopping list so will comply with your
request, kind sir. Hope the development problems resolve
themselves without your secretary running off to stack shelves at
Tesco.
On my way home, I stop off at the supermarket to get supplies. I
smile as I pick up the matches it makes such a difference there
being people to whom I matter, even if they are fifty miles away.
Struggling a little with the bags, I finally get home, unload the
shopping and put it away before taking the matches into the lounge.
Opening the box and taking out a match almost seems like a
ritual I strike it and hold the flickering flame to the wick of the
little candle. It takes. I watch the flame grow. The wood of the
carving glows gently in the light, giving me a deliciously warm
feeling, almost as though the ambience of the Pink Room has spread
itself into my flat. Its ridiculous that I should feel so very different
now from this time last week.
I spend the evening curled up on the sofa, duvet tucked snugly
round me, with the book I took to Bath and never got round to reading
the little tea light flickers companionably in the draughts
Tuesday morning its very cold.
Prising myself reluctantly from my warm bed, I sprint from the
bedroom to the bathroom, then shiver as I dry myself off after a
shower. At least the water was hot even if it was more of a dribble
than a shower Ill have to think about turning the heating on.
Damn!
Thank goodness the office is warm. I work in one of the
modern buildings out by the motorway junction theres quite a little
town of modern office blocks there, interspersed with open areas of
half-matured planting and even a few ponds scattered between the
buildings. In the summer, I frequently go down to the pond nearest

66

our office block and feed the ducks which live there. For a modern
office park it is quite nice, though the wind doesnt half blow down
those roads. The bus comes right into the estate now, it originally
only stopped at the edge but with more and more people being
employed here, it makes commercial sense for the buses to be more
accommodating for which I am extremely grateful.
The one downside is that lunchtime, in the wi nter, theres
nowhere to go the only shop is a newsagent and although he sells
sandwiches and a few basics, its not somewhere you would go to
potter round. If the weathers dry, I do try to force myself out of the
office in the lunch hour, if only to get away from my desk. The
offices are fully air conditioned and one loses track of what is
happening in the real world, not to mention the fact that any bugs are
spread around the workforce very fast and its a good idea to get away
from that, even if only for an hour.
The weather is too cold to tempt me out today though and I
spend my lunch hour trawling the internet for news items and
generally pootling around. Just out of curiosity I look to see if theres
a website for Brewster Toms yes, I thought there would be It
gives me a funny feeling reading about Joseph Brewster and how he
went into partnership with Gordon Toms to form the firm and an even
more peculiar feeling reading about Giles Brewster he got a very
good legal degree at university. Not that Im surprised by this, he
strikes me as a man whos extremely efficient at anything he does.
There are photos of the solicitors in the firm for a change, they dont
actually look like mugshots of criminals they mustve got a good
photographer in to take those the other commercial property
lawyer is a woman a very attractive one Diana Johnson
hmmmm.
During the afternoon, I get an e-mail from Giles :
Greetings from a bloody freezing Bristol. Hope it is warmer in
the south. Have you got your heating on in that flat yet?
No wonder his sister used to complain about him being bossy.

67

The south is cold too am thinking about the heating. Lit the
candle last night but it didnt produce much heat. I thought it
was women who were meant to nag
The reply comes straight back ..
No good thinking about it action is required. Women are
meant to be cherished and looked after by men who (naturally)
know what is best for them ... they should be suitably grateful
why am I suddenly relieved at the thought that Taunton and
Bristol are fifty or so miles apart?
Seriously though, not
intending to nag, just falling into big brother mode you did say
you always wanted one! Like in the fairy stories, you should be
careful what you wish for!
Why does the thought of Giles as a brother depress me? The answer
rears its ugly head I kick myself Jane, stop thinking that every
man you meet is a possible boyfriend. You are turning into the
cartoon version of a middle-aged spinster - man-mad, desperate and
tragic.
I agree totally women are meant to be cherished and looked
after unfortunately, most men dont seem to realise this! I
shall put the heating on, honest.
His reply comes through just before I finish for the day.
Sorry bad case of foot in mouth there didnt mean to rub salt
in the wound. Ive got a meeting in Exeter tomorrow morning
which means I shall (I hope) be in the Taunton area around
lunchtime may I make it up to you by taking you out for lunch?
Not sure of timescales so will ring you tomorrow morning so
you have until then to decide if you are still talking to me or not.
See Giles for lunch tomorrow ..

68

What are you smiling about, Jane? Matthew asked coming

into my office with some work for tomorrow morning. You look like
the cat thats got the cream.
Oh bugger!
Oh nothing much. Just a possible lunch date tomorrow. I
replied feeling a fool.
He raises his eyebrows at me quizzically ...
My aunts godson, I met him at the weekend hes a solicitor
in Bristol.
Oh? Which firms he with?
Brewster Toms hes one of the Brewsters.
Really? Theyre a pretty high class firm very good reputation
from what Ive heard. You are travelling in exalted circles, Jane!
I laugh with him.
Im just going to make coffee, Matthew dyou want one? I
asked, changing the subject.
Yes that would be nice.
I escape to the kitchen Matthews a nice enough guy but a
fearful social climber. Ive heard tell that his origins are fairly
humble (whose arent for goodness sake!) and that hes got to where
he is by sheer determination and using anyone he can for a leg up
the social ladder.
I wonder what hed make of Lizzie and her entourage.
The flats freezing when I get home, almost colder inside than it
is outside with a sigh, I turn on the central heating boiler, almost
seeing the pounds disappearing as it rumbles into action. I dont take
my coat off for an hour, sitting in the kitchen nursing a mug of coffee,
while the radiators do their stuff. The flat is the top floor of a two
storey, semi-detached house built in the 1950s. Its not double
glazed. The curtains are reasonably thick though and drawing them
does a pretty good job of keeping the heat in.
I dont know the people downstairs very well. Theyre a
married couple in their 30s and keep themselves to themselves. I did
try to get to know them when we moved in but they belong to some
strict religious sect Plymouth Brethren or something like that
and disapproved of the fact Alan and I were living together. If we see
each other we say hello but thats about it.

69

I give myself a good talking to next morning as I see a twinkle

rather akin to Lizzies in the bathroom mirror. Dont go getting ideas
about this man, Jane. Hes more or less said he sees you as a sister
be grateful for that.
He calls just before ten, his opening comment is to enquire if he
needs a hard hat before meeting me
Ive given up beating men up for the week, Giles.
Thats a relief! he replied melodramatically
Yeah I know, you were really worried, werent you?
Terrified.
He then informs me that hes just arrived in Exeter and is about
to go into his meeting.
I expect to be finished here by twelve, so should be in Taunton
by one at the latest. What time do you break for lunch? And where
are your offices? I know Taunton pretty well.
I explain where we are and he scribbles down the address.
Ill give you my mobile number just in case got a pen? I
quickly scribble it down on my pad. See you later, Jane.
Annoyingly my concentration wanders and I have to admit that
Im irrationally excited at the thought of having lunch with Giles I
console myself with the thought that it is probably only because Ive
been on my own so much since Alan buggered off.
Im filing the minutes of the recent meeting when reception calls
to let me know that a Mr Brewster is downstairs a quick glance at
the clock tells me that hes early its only just quarter to.
Could you ask him to come up here, please. I asked
impulsively.
I immediately regret it oh well, too late now.
Naturally, Matthew comes into my office in the five minutes it
takes for Giles to get to the third floor, and is standing by my desk
explaining a set of figures he wants typed up when Giles knocks and
comes into the room he looks very smart.
The two men look at
each other, clearly I shall have to effect introductions.
Matthew, this is my friend, Giles Brewster, hes arrived a little
early for lunch. I said feeling awkward. Giles, my boss, Matthew.

70

Giles takes it all in his stride, professional that he is, and shakes
hands with Matthew apologising for butting in and offering to
disappear until it is my lunch hour.
No, no, not a problem. Matthew said quickly, Jane, dont
keep your friend waiting, why dont you go now take a longer lunch
if you like. Im sure we owe it to you.
Thanks, Matthew, Ill do that. I said picking up my coat and
handbag.
It is all too clear by the impish look on Giless face that he is
about to say something wicked and I want to get him out of the office.
How was your meeting in Exeter?
It went well Im acting for a consortium of developers and
their head office is in Exeter so I have to go down there fairly
regularly. Today was a mop-up meeting about a development theyve
just finished so my presence was only for effect.
Where are you parked? I asked as we walked out of the
building.
The cars over there thats your boss, is it?
Yes, thats Matthew. Hes okay really, just a little overawed by
your importance. I never realised what an important personage you
are.
What? he said, genuinely amused by my comment.
I explain how Matthew had appeared just after I received Giless
e-mail invitation and how hed reacted.
He seems to think youre an important person, Giles. I said
demurely and was impressed that I should know you.
And you havent disabused him of this yet? I am surprised!
Oh, dont look so mortified, Jane. I was only joking, you really do
need to stop taking things so seriously you know.
I know hes right, I am over sensitive sometimes but its
difficult when you live on your own, you get into all sorts of antisocial habits I know I can be pretty short with people at times
without meaning it and it worries me.
Steak? he asked as we stand at the bar waiting to order, With
a glass of red wine to jolly it along?
Sounds good I like mine rare, please.

71

He orders the food and we find a table. The place is pretty busy,
but as it is the nearest decent eatery to the office park, thats not
terribly surprising.
And before you ask, Giles, I turned the heating on last night.
He looks guilty and fiddles with the stem of his wine glass,
I dont mean to nag, Jane Ive always tended to worry about
people and feel responsible for them. Typical older child reaction, so
Im told.
Its okay, I know Im a prickly creature at times, I suppose Im
used to standing on my own two feet
I dont add that its been a long time since anyone cared enough
to nag me.
What a pair, we are! Mutual abasement were very alike,
Jane. Maybe there is something in this astrology lark as we share a
birthday. Were both pretty argumentative and stubborn.
Yes, but were also both good company, interesting and have
an intelligent, if wicked, sense of humour.
Ill drink to that. He said, raising his glass and smiling at me
over the top of it, as the waiter sets plates in front of us.
After an extremely pleasant lunch, Giles drops me off back at
the office I wander into the reception area and see the clock
Shit! Its nearly two thirty! The time went so fast!
I scramble up the stairs to the office, suddenly anxious. As I sit
down at my desk Matthew, whos patently been listening for my
return, pops his head round the door and asks if I had a pleasant lunch.
Yes, it was very nice, thank you, Matthew. We went to the
Castle.
A cynical voice in the back of my head queries his motives
does he think hes going to get something out of the contact with
Giles ?
Theres post on the mat when I get home from work. A letter
from Bath in two pages of beautiful copperplate handwriting,
Lizzie writes in detail about how much she enjoyed the weekend and
hopes that work is not proving too frustrating. She is sending me a
cheque for the train fare on the basis that, although Giles has let her
have my bank details, it will take too long to set up a payment before

72

this weekend and she doesnt want me to be short. The cheque is for
60 I can see that I shall have to have a little talk with Lizzie
After dinner, I ring Lizzie to tell her that the cheque arrived
safely. More money down the drain, but what the heck good
manners count for more.
Youve sent me far more than I need for the train fare, Lizzie.
Oh stop fussing, Jane. Im enjoying myself playing auntie just
spend it on something nice. What have you been up to this week?
Anything nice?
Giles took me out for lunch today he was in Exeter at a
meeting this morning and stopped in Taunton on the way back. That
was rather nice.
Oh good. Hes a lovely man, Jane.
I dont know about that!
He nags me and then, when I
complain, tells me that hes only being the older brother I always
wanted. I said dryly which makes her laugh.
Yes, he always was a serious little boy, but I wouldnt take him
too literally, Jane.
I dont Lizzie, and Im afraid he gets as good as he gives at
times were very alike. Its weird that we share a birthday.
Yes, he was born exactly a year before you, wasnt he. She
said slowly, Id forgotten that.
No reason why you should remember it, is there? I said with a
laugh, I expect you were busy with some show or other when I
arrived!
She laughs and says that shed better go.
Let me know what time train youre getting, Jane, and Ill
arrange for someone to meet you at the station.
Before leaving for work on Friday, I carefully turn the heating
right down to minimum in the flat itll keep the chill off but not
waste too much energy. Anyway, that cheque from Lizzie will go
some way towards the bill.
I go straight to the station after work it meant lugging my
backpack to the office, but Ill get to Bath a lot quicker if I dont have
to go home first. Itll be late enough when I get there as it is.
Its dark; the train journey through the open countryside is very
strange the lighted compartment in the train appears to be

73

disembodied, travelling through unrelieved blackness Its a relief

when we call at a station a reminder that the world is still out there.
Although the heating in the train is reasonably efficient, the
walk from the bus stop has convinced me that I must get myself some
gloves maybe I could have a look round the shops in Bath on
Saturday.
A voice I recognise greets me as I walk through the double
doors of the station at Bath Spa just after seven.
Over here, Jane!
Its Tina. Its a relief to see her.
You look tired, Jane. She said concerned, as she drives off.
Well, its been a long day. The trains were on time though, and
I only had a quarter of an hour wait between trains at Bristol which
gave me plenty of time to get from one platform to another.
Well weve got some food ready for you I expect youre
hungry. She said as we wait at the traffic lights.
They turn green and she moves off again.
Lizzies been in a high old state of excitement all day at the
thought of you coming, it was lovely to see. Shes pretty good most
of the time, but over the last couple of months, her conditions been
getting her down. Its been worrying me. Your arrival on the scene
has perked her up a lot, Jane.
It must be very hard for her coping with the restrictions after
having been so active all her life, and shes always so cheerful.
Shes a love and never complains. Tina said affectionately, I
dont mind going the extra mile for her - shes been pretty good to
me.
Do you have family locally, Tina?
Tina never seems to have time off from what I can see.
No, my family live in Australia. I came over here on a years
sabbatical after Id finished my nursing training and sort of stayed.
You see, I took on some agency work to keep body and soul together
and was allocated to Maurice I was so happy here so, when they
offered me a permanent post, I jumped at it. Lizzie insists that I go
home at least once a year for a couple of weeks she can be
extremely stubborn at times. She even books the flight to make sure
that I go.

74

Id never have guessed you werent English! Oh, Tina, that

sounds rude its just that one expects all Australians to sound as
though theyve just left the set of Neighbours!
Ive got that okay. She said in broad Aussie, I just dont use
it. My mum was strict with us and insisted that we all talked
properly and when I came over here it stuck.
Have you got any brothers and sisters? I asked, fascinated at
the thought of having family and leaving them on the other side of the
world.
Yes, Im the middle of three my older sister shes a Jane too
is married with children and Kathryn, the youngest, has just finished
her teacher training. Shes hoping to come over here for a visit in the
New Year.
Dont you miss them? I asked and she thinks for a moment.
Not really, Im so much part of the family here and its such a
very large and diverse family at that, I suppose that makes up for it.
She replied as she parks the car outside the house.
Lizzies face lights up when she sees me; I give her a hug.
Sit down, Jane, you look shattered.
I dont need telling twice. Tina brings in a tray of hot food and,
as I gratefully work my way through it, I tell Lizzie about my week
and generally unwind.
Could I do a little shopping tomorrow, Lizzie? I asked sipping
my coffee after my meal, Only Im desperate for a pair of gloves now
that its got so cold, and I dont get a chance to get near any shops
during the week.
Of course I was going to suggest a shopping trip, Its all
very well you using my cast offs but we need to get you some clothes
of your own.
I protest at this but she wont have any of it, invoking the
doting auntie role yet again, and telling me not to spoil her fun.
Honestly! She outlines a plan for us to go into town tomorrow
morning, with Tina in charge of the wheelchair. Im surprised that
Lizzie hasnt got one of those electric wheelchairs but when I mention
it, she giggles and looks very naughty.

75

I did have one once but got rather carried away and caused a bit
of a rumpus in one of the shops we decided that it was probably
more sensible not to. She said elusively,
I make a mental note to ask Tina what happened
We sit there chatting until ten by which time I am thoroughly
unwound and relaxed.
Youd go off to bed, Jane. Youre falling asleep before my
eyes.
I dont fight it the flat in Taunton seems very far away now
unreal.
The shopping trip is great fun despite the fact that Lizzie is at
her most autocratic and bullies me incessantly into trying on all sorts
of clothes I would not normally look at, either because of the price or
the style. I stand up to her as much as I can, so much so that Tina has
to butt in at one point and tell us both to stop it and behave ourselves.
She is so much the nanny with two recalcitrant children that we both
burst out laughing to the obvious amusement of the people around
us in the shoe shop.
By the time weve finished, I am the proud owner of a new suit
for work (beautifully cut, navy blue wool with both skirt and trousers
to go with the jacket), some lightweight jumpers to go with it, a
warm skirt in a lovely deep shade of wine-coloured red and a casual
jumper in a paler shade of the same colour which goes well with my
dark hair, two pairs of trousers and a pair of the most lovely knee high
leather boots (the cause of the argument they were prohibitively
expensive) oh, and a pair of black leather gloves.
Fortunately for all concerned, both Lizzie and I are good
natured, if bloody minded, and although we fight like cat and dog at
times, there is no animosity and we both end up laughing. Lizzie is
so much larger than life more alive than any people Ive met up
until now. I wish Id known her before this.
Were going over to Geralds place tonight for a meal. From
what Tina tells me, Lizzie has a group of friends with whom she
regularly dines. He came to her last time so it is his turn now.
He lives at Chamberlains, a large sheltered housing place near
Chippenham, Jane. It used to be a private mansion belonging to one
of the local gentry but has been converted into some extremely

76

pleasant apartments and has communal restaurant facilities and a

small hall/large lounge room which they use for social events. It
sounds grim but has been done very tastefully and definitely cannot
be classed as an old peoples home.
Tell me about Gerald, Lizzie, I know hes Jos father and a
musician of some sort, but whats his history?
Gerald? He was a professional church organist of some
standing. His wife died some years ago and he moved up here about
that time, I think. Before he retired, he was at Wells Cathedral, but
Im not sure where he worked before that. When you get him
together with Alastair theyre impossible but youve seen that,
havent you? They both adore Jo which is another bond between
them. I remember when Ellie was born, Gerald was like a dog with
two tails. I was with him when Alastair rang with the news and he
threw his stick in the air like a boy.
How did you meet him, Lizzie?
It was through Jo. I knew her though the operatic society and
she introduced us when he came along to see one of the shows. I
cant remember which one it was now, but Jo asked if he could sit
with me as he didnt know anyone and we hit it off immediately. I
sometimes wonder if she did it on purpose.
Just before we get to Chippenham, according to the road signs,
Tina turns off the road up a gravelled drive. Although its dark,
theres subdued lighting along the driveway and I can see manicured
lawns dotted with flower beds reaching out both sides. It looks very
up market.
Gerald is waiting for us in the doorway of his apartment and
greets us in his usual flamboyant fashion. I can see why he and Lizzie
get on.
The restaurant is situated further along the range of buildings,
which are built round two sides of a courtyard; its tastefully
decorated so that it resembles a high quality restaurant, with proper
menus and waitresses many of the residents here have mobility
problems and everything is wheelchair friendly but without being
obvious about it. Must cost a pretty penny living here
So what have you been doing this week, young lady? he asked
me as we wait for our order to arrive.

77

Working mostly, Gerald. I replied, sipping my wine. I did

get taken out for lunch on Wednesday which was rather nice though.
Oh he said with a roguish look, Anyone I know?
Giles Brewster he was in Exeter on work and stopped off in
Taunton on the way past.
Young Giles? he glances across at Lizzie raising his eyebrows
a little, Hes a nice man.
Yes, very nice when hes not being bloody stubborn! I
retorted, making Gerald laugh.
Oh the best of us men are autocratic, Jane. Look at Alastair!
he replied, which surprised me, from what Ive seen of Alastair, hes
not at all bossy.
Oh, dont be fooled by that soft manner of his,
Jane, if Alastair puts his foot down, theres no discussion. Though I
have to say that he doesnt do it often, and never without cause, so
one must forgive him. Anyway, I thought you ladies like a man to be
firm with you.
Gerald, how you have managed lived this long, I do not know!
Lizzie commented dryly.
What about you, Tina, been to any interesting jazz lately? he
asked laughing.
No, the clubs been closed for a week for refurbishment so Ive
been languishing at home with only CDs to fall back on. They hope
to re-open again next week though and Im looking forward to it.
Are you into jazz, Tina?
Oh, Im a complete trad jazz freak, Jane. Theres a very good
club in town which I go to. The problem is, as with every club in
town, they have to comply with the stringent regulations regarding
noise and advertising material I know its to conserve the city but it
is annoying at times. Theyve had to put in some new acoustic
damping or something.
The food arrives as the talk turns to music, with Tina and Gerald
arguing the toss over the origins of jazz. I just listen it is all rather
beyond me though fascinating to listen to.
Giles is coming over tomorrow, Jane, Lizzie said to me as the
other two fight it out, He makes a point of coming to church with me
every couple of months probably to prove the point that my

78

godmothering worked! Hes staying for lunch and said hed run you
home after that .. if you dont mind that is.
That is very kind of him, Lizzie, but its a hell of a long way to
Taunton and back.
If he is happy to do it, I wouldnt complain. You do like him,
dont you?
Oh yes, hes very nice. I replied, rather flustered to discover
that the thought of seeing the man tomorrow has set my pulse racing
considerably more than I like.
When are you going to have your next party, Lizzie? Gerald
asked he and Tina have obviously finished thrashing out the jazz
question. It must be at least two months since the last one.
Itll be my usual first Saturday after Christmas, Gerald.
Ill look forward to it, Lizzie. Now, ladies, can I persuade you
to a little dessert? he replied.
We dont stay late its a half hour journey back to Bath and
with the prospect of having to get up for church in the morning, Lizzie
needs to get to bed. Tinas unmoveable with regard to Lizzies
welfare but I suppose she knows best. Lizzie only puts up a token
resistance.
******
Giles arrives as I am taking Lizzies finished breakfast tray
down to the kitchen. I didnt hear the door must have his own key.
Morning, Jane. Howre you? he said shaking the rain off his
coat and hanging it on the coat stand in the hall.
The man treats this house as though its his home.
Fine, thanks, and you? I replied as he takes the heavy tray
from me and moves towards the kitchen with it, waiting for me to
open the door for him.
A bit wet its pouring out there but otherwise okay. Hows
Lizzie?
On form. She took me shopping yesterday. I said as we go
into the kitchen,
And you should have heard the pair of them, Giles! Tina
commented, Not a scrap of difference between them when it comes
to being bloody minded!

79

Really? he said, looking serious, Youd think theyd know

how to behave in public by now. I dont know how you put up with
it, Tina, youll have to re-think my suggestion that you move out to
Ivy Lodge, you know.
She bats him with the tea towel she is holding.
Pay no attention to him, Jane. Its not my charm and
personality hes after, merely my apple pie!
Arrrrrgh! Discovered! Who revealed my guilty secret, Tina?
he cried in mock dismay.
Go away, Giles, if you want apple pie for lunch today, Ill have
to get moving.
Is Lizzie ready yet? he asked as we make our way upstairs.
Only well have to get going soon.
Yes, shes waiting in the Pink Room as usual.
I cant shake off the unreal feeling I get walking into the church
with Giles beside me pushing Lizzie in her wheelchair. I tell myself
that I am being fanciful it doesnt help. The vicars walking round
the congregation greeting people and chatting generally. When he
gets to us, he shakes hands with Giles, who he obviously knows, and
gives Lizzie a hug. Lizzie introduces me as Jane, whom Ive told
you about. He has a charming smile and welcomes me to the village.
Where do you live, Jane?
Taunton, but I come up here at weekends now.
Very nice, too. I was at a parish not far from there a few years
ago Wellington. Beautiful area.
Theres a music group at the front of the church, singing softly.
It consists of three men and a woman and they sound rather good.
Im not used to church my parents werent terribly regular
churchgoers the service book is confusing I get lost a couple of
times; as soon as he realises I dont know my way around the service
book, Giles is tactfully helpful. The sermon grabs me, the vicar is
talking about faith being a personal thing and how God is accessible
to everyone it probably sounds daft, but Ive not heard this before,
at least if I have Ive never listened properly before ... it is an
interesting concept.
I hope we shall see you again, Jane. The vicar said as we
leave the church after the service.

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Im still pondering the sermon as we drive home. Ill have to do

some serious thinking about this. I see Giles gives me a strange look
at one point but doesnt say anything.
More apple pie, Giles? Tina asked
If you twist my arm. Mind you, I need to keep awake this
afternoon if Im driving to Taunton.
You dont have to. I put in. Its a hell of a long way to go
just for the fun of it.
Its no great distance I drive further than that for work.
Anyway, Ive got nothing else I should be doing Id enjoy the
drive.
Aware that hes left me without a leg to stand on, I accept his
offer politely. How on earth am I to keep my feet on the ground with
regard to this man if he is going to be so damned nice all the time?
Were away by three. He chats lightly about nothing in
particular for several miles then, with a quick glance in my direction
(Im far too aware of him and notice every move he makes now)
changes the subject.
Jane, you were very thoughtful after church this morning.
Something bothering you? he asked, pulling out to overtake the
tractor weve been following for several miles of winding country
lanes.
I thought youd noticed. I commented dryly, and receive
another swift glance, I was thinking about what the vicar said in his
sermon. Ive never really thought about religion before. I dont quite
know what it was that he said which hit me but its got me
thinking.
Peter Hammonds a very good preacher; his sermons tend to
have that effect. Can I help at all? I dont set myself up to be a great
theologian but might be able to shed some light.
Thanks, Im probably going to sound stupid. I mean, Im not
totally ignorant, its just the concept of a personal faith which hit me.
I suppose Ive always thought of God as a sort of fact of life, but one
that doesnt affect me. Like the President of the USA or some other
exalted being. You know theyre probably there but dont give them
a thought.

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No that doesnt sound stupid at all, Jane. I dont know if it is

the result of us being taught the Bible stories as children but its easy
for the whole Christianity thing to resemble a fairy story. I dont
think youre alone in your perception. He said, driving through the
centre of Wells.
We drive along the ring road in silence. The last lot of traffic
lights turn red just before we get to them.
Look, Jane I dont want to come across as some sort of
religious nut, but that personal faith its what Ive got my God
is a close friend, someone whos always there and cares.
He glances at me as though trying to assess my reaction.
The lights change. He drives off again.
You see, in her capacity as my godmother, Lizzie made damn
sure that I was brought up as shed promised at my christening.
Despite her theatrical background, shes got a strong faith Im very
grateful to her for that.
I dont quite know what he expects me to say.
That must be reassuring. I hazarded.
Not really Its a popular assumption that it must be
comfortable having a religious faith that it makes life easier in
some way much as though its a raincoat you can put on to protect
you from rain; but it doesnt work like that. From my experience, you
still get the problems the same as everyone else the only difference
it makes is knowing that theres someone who cares regardless ... but
you know about that one.
Sort of
We humans arent very good at coping with things on our own
and just knowing you are not alone can make all the difference. Its
got me through some sticky patches. He looks thoughtful and pauses
for a few moments, God doesnt have any illusions about us, you
see, he knows us as we are you dont have to pretend to be
something youre not with Him. Does that tie in with what you heard
this morning?
Yes yes, I think it does.
Is it possible that this could apply to me?
Giles what should I do about it?

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Well, it depends if you want to explore the possibility for

yourself then a good starting point would be to pray. That sounds
prissy but it isnt, prayer is only talking to God and you dont have to
use special language or even get down on your knees. Its as simple
as talking to a friend. Try that and see where it takes you. Ill warn
you though, if you open the door to Him, God tends to take over and
you never know where thatll lead.
What do you mean?
I went through a fundamentalist phase as a student, Jane, where
Id start every day by committing it to God and asking Him to use me
as He felt best. I wouldnt make any decision without asking for
guidance little things like which route to take to university
sounds crazy, I know, but youd be amazed at the situations I found
myself in. Id feel led to catch a certain bus and complete strangers
would start conversations with me which would lead to discussions
about issues theyre having. It was an amazing time. Ive learned to
identify when Hes leading me somewhere. He said with a wry
smile. I find myself offering to drive women to Taunton, for
example.
Oh.
As you say Oh. Im not a religious maniac, Jane. Please
dont get that idea. I just live the faith to some extent - at least I try
to Im definitely no saint.
He sounds almost frantic in his highly restrained attempt to
persuade me that hes ordinary.
But it means putting yourself on the line, doesnt it?

because thats what youre doing, isnt it? I asked after several
minutes silence.
Yes, it does, but thats part of the bargain, you see, Jane. I trust
Him to lead me where I should go and my side is to put myself on the
line when circumstances, like this conversation for example, demand
it. I have to say that, although its frequently obvious that God has a
sense of humour, Hes never let me down.
Why do I get the feeling that you are saying that as much to
reassure yourself as for my benefit, Giles?
Probably because its true. He replied awkwardly I . oh,
never mind. Do you fancy some music?

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I let him change the subject.

The flats as uninspiring as usual when I get there and although
he stays for a coffee, after twenty minutes or so, Giles leaves to drive
back to Bristol.
Have a good week, Jane. Ill e-mail you. He said brightly as
he leaves but he doesnt fool me for a second and as I iron a blouse
for work tomorrow, I wonder exactly whats bothering him.

84

10.

JANE GETS THE WRONG IDEA

The week passes slowly.

Giles e-mails on Tuesday to say that their computer system went
down completely on Monday and that he is contemplating jumping
off the Bristol Bridge as a result. I commiserate with him we all
know what chaos computers can create when they go wrong then
remind him that it is probably against the pollution laws to throw
extraneous objects into the river.
Ive thought a lot about our conversation and am trying this
prayer lark. Not sure if its having any effect yet.
I dont hear from Giles again until Friday hes really pissed off
now. The computer server for the office died on Wednesday and has
had to be replaced which has caused all sorts of problems. Naturally
the new server didnt work properly first time but, fingers crossed, it
should be all right now. He adds that he hopes to see me at the
weekend.
The train journey doesnt seem to take as long this week.
Maybe I am just getting used to it. Tinas there to meet me as before
and, as I walk into the house, I feel very much as though Ive come
home.
As I eat the supper prepared for me, Lizzie outlines the plan for
the weekend.
Tomorrow night were going to an operatic society social.
Theyre having an in-house concert with supper up at their hall. I
thought you might like it. Joll be singing and, of course, Alastair
will be playing. Should be fun.
Sounds lovely, Lizzie. I replied reflecting that I have been to
more musical events in the past few weeks than I have in the last
decade.
Lizzie asks me to go into town for her on Saturday morning to
get some books she has ordered from Waterstones. Its a fine if chilly
morning, and I enjoy the walk into the town. After a week in the
office, it is refreshing to get out in the air and the exercise is
exhilarating. I get back, flushed from the walk but pleased with
myself.

85

After lunch, Tina insists that Lizzie lies down for an hour or so
before we go out tonight, so I go and read to her again. We both
enjoy this. Shes got out a play for me to read The Rivals by
Richard Sheridan. Ive not come across it before and it takes me a
little while to get into it but once I have got the hang of the idiom, I
have great fun putting on different voices for all the characters and, of
course, as they are caricatures I can ham it up into the bargain. Lizzie
seems to enjoy my efforts and laughs a fair bit.
As we are not going to eat until late, Tina produces tea and cake
for us at about five. She really is a lamb.
Were early getting to the operatic society hall partly because
Lizzie wants to be able to manoeuvre her wheelchair without having
to contend with crowds. Even though there isnt much walking
involved, Tina has insisted that Lizzie take the wheelchair tonight,
which makes me wonder if Lizzie has been bad this week. She hasnt
said anything, but then again, she wouldnt.
The hall is laid out with small tables dotted around with chairs
round them supper will be served to us, I gather.
There are a few people milling around getting things ready, but
most of them come over and say something to Lizzie. I read through
the programme and learn that the concert will consist of excerpts from
Gilbert & Sullivan shows. Ive heard of Gilbert & Sullivan, of course
Im not a complete philistine but I certainly wouldnt say I know
very much about their work. The stage is a small one at one end of
the hall; the curtains are drawn. Theres a door to the right of the
stage which obviously leads to the dressing rooms; we can hear the
sound of chatter whenever someone opens the door to dash through,
adding to the general air of excitement hanging about the place.
Alastairs over by the piano sorting out his music he waves to
us.
Gerald arrives and comes to join us at the table. Hes walking
with his stick as usual but looks slightly rickety tonight. He sinks
into the chair with obvious relief.
Bad day, Gerald? Lizzie asked and he nods before turning to
me with a beaming smile and asking how I am. Theyre a right pair.
The hall is filling up. Our table is to the right of the stage near
the front and from my seat I get a good view of the rest of the hall.
Its interesting watching the people as they come in. At least half of

86

them come over to say hello to Lizzie and Im introduced to so many

people its confusing - very few stick in my mind. The most frequent
comment I receive is a variation on do you sing too? to which Lizzie
answers not yet now whats she plotting?
The lights dim and the concert starts. A woman my programme
informs me is Caroline something I cant quite read in the dim light
introduces the show shes going to give us a resum of the various
operettas they are going to feature - I stand a chance of understanding
what is going on then. The chorus come onto the stage they are all
in evening dress and look very glamorous. I think its Pirates of
Penzance when Jo makes her first appearance from what I
understand the plot is that an attractive man is asking a group of
young ladies if one of them will agree to marry him. Im not sure
why, but thats a minor point. Theyre all saying no mainly because
theyre well brought up young ladies, I think then a voice is heard
off stage saying that yes, shell have him As the chorus tells us
clearly and repeatedly its Mabel. Jo then appears and proceeds
to tell all the other ladies off for being so uncharitable and sings to the
man. It all sounds a bit dotty to me, but is fun to listen to. Jo really is
very good some of those top notes seem impossibly high and she
makes them look so easy! The man shes singing to seems besotted
with her but a quick glance at Alastair shows me that hes totally
unconcerned it must be strange seeing your wife being made love
to by another man.
Gerald sits there glowing with pride at Jos performance that
must be lovely for her. To my inexpert ears, the music seems to be of
a very high standard; Im impressed. Id always thought amateurs
were likely to be naff but this lot are excellent. Both Jo and the
attractive man the programme says hes Dan Holloway feature
several times. I try to work out how old he is difficult to tell.
At the end of the programme, the food is served and Im more
than ready for it. The performers mingle with the audience, some
obviously have their families here, and help with carrying plates and
baskets of bread. Jo and Alastair come over and join us at our table.
You have an amazing voice, Jo. Have you always done this
sort of thing? I asked as we tuck into the chilli con carne and chunks
of bread which have materialised on the table in front of us.

87

Thank you, Jane. She replied, acknowledging my compliment

gracefully. Ive been singing pretty well most of my life, performed
my first solo as a child. But Dads always encouraged me.
Gerald smiles across the table at her.
Do you sing at all, Jane? Jo asked
Ive never tried. My parents were totally against anything
theatrical and I was never allowed to take part, even at school. I
confessed, feeling rather an oddity in this company.
How sad! Jo said, Well have to try you out sometime
Alastair, Jane has no idea if she can sing or not we could have a
session with her sometime couldnt we?
Of course, if youre coming up here weekends, perhaps you
could come over to us one Saturday and well have a play with some
music. Alastair replied with a smile.
That would be kind, Jo. Lizzie commented.
I can see the twinkle in her eye. Mmmmm.
I mention to Jo how good I thought Dan was and, to my
embarrassment, she calls him over to meet a fan. Hes as good
looking in the flesh as he was on stage probably late 30s I conclude.
He sits down at the table, greeting Lizzie as an old friend (why am I
not surprised by this?) and chatting to me. He really is charming and
tells me about his day job as a jeweller.
So do you get over to Bath very often, Jane?
Im here most weekends.
Oh good. Ill look forward to seeing you again, Jane.
Gradually the hall empties. Were among the last to leave but
again, Lizzie is constantly approached by people wanting to speak to
her so its more a case of not being able to get away than anything
else. Tinas waiting outside with the car and helps Lizzie into the
vehicle, neatly packing the wheelchair away in the boot. Gerald has
disappeared with Alastair and Jo.
Did you have a good time at the jazz club, Tina? Lizzie asks
Yes, thanks, it was great. Tina replied with a wicked grin, I
wonder what she got up to tonight.
Sunday morning is quiet at Lizzies request, I go with her to
church. Apart from reminding me of Giles, it raises more questions
about religion.

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Im going to have to get the train after lunch I really want to

be back in Taunton before it gets too dark Ive not seen Giles this
weekend I try not to be disappointed after all, he must have a
life of his own cant be always over here at Lizzies. Again, I tell
myself to keep my expectations within bounds it doesnt help that I
clearly remember him e-mailing that he hoped to see me this
weekend.
Tina runs me to the station in plenty of time for my train
which means I have more than enough time to sit on the station
platform wondering why Giles didnt get over Again, I have a
wait at Temple Meads for the connection to Taunton. My train is
parked at the platform so find a seat and gaze idly out of the window,
waiting for it to start.
A figure in a long dark coat catches my eye on the platform
across from my train, surely its not? Yes, it is! Its Giles. I very
nearly leap out of the carriage and go to shout across to him but, just
in time, I realise that hes not alone. He has his arm round a blonde
woman, I suppose shes early thirties. Shes looking up at him
lovingly and before she gets onto the train, she gives him a hug and a
kiss on the cheek. He smiles at her lovingly and strokes her hair
The train eventually draws out of the station and sets off for
Taunton.
I stare into space as the fields whiz past the window.
Look, Jane, he told you he was the older brother youd always
wanted you should have known better than to think he meant
anything else. A man like him a high flying professional why
should he look at you? Just because he told you that you were good
looking, doesnt mean he fancies you.
Dry-eyed I stare at my reflection in the window. Come on, Jane,
pull yourself together.
By the time I reach Taunton, I have a headache and cant get
home fast enough. Even though its only the middle of the afternoon,
the flat is dark I left the curtains drawn to keep the heat in.
Automatically, I take off my coat and go up to my bedroom to
unpack my bag. As I go in the lounge, I see the candle holder on the
mantelpiece that does it the tears come thick and fast. Not
bothering with food, I turn off the lights and go to bed.

89

11.

JANE HAS A ROW WITH GILES

Monday morning, I wake feeling like death warmed up. I didnt

sleep too well not surprisingly, but at least Ive got my head round the
fact that Giles is not available.
Why I should be so devastated, I dont know.
I hardly know the man.
I mean, Ive only met him half a dozen times
just because he was kind to me .
The flat is chilly the heatings still on minimum I dont
really care.
Defiantly, I put on my new suit the trousers and holding my
head high, go to work.
Morning, Jane how was your weekend? Matthew asked and
I tell him all about the concert.
Very nice, Im sure. He said before turning to the work in
hand.
An e-mail from Giles arrives at nine thirty. I hesitate to open it,
then tell myself not to be so stupid and read what he has to say.
Morning! Hope your weekend in Bath was good I meant to
get over to see you but something cropped up.
I leave answering for a couple of hours until I feel capable of
adopting a suitably friendly tone tearing into myself the whole
time for being such a fool. In the end, I go for the non-committal.
Hi, yes, good shopping trip with Lizzie and concert at the
operatic society. Most enjoyable.
He replies almost immediately with a friendly message, but I dont
respond . I can always say that I didnt get it.
I avoid looking at the candle holder on the mantelpiece when I
get home, feeling guilty.
This goes on all week I claim pressure of work means I cant
reply to his e-mails but I can tell that he doesnt believe me. Theres
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no reason why I should think hell ring, but all the same Im nervous
about picking up the phone in the office then stare at the bloody
thing all evening at the flat when it doesnt ring.
Come Friday, Im in a right old state, dreading seeing him but
unwilling to stay away from Bath and miss the chance that I might.
Tina meets me at the station again its good to see her her
down-toearth attitude soothes my harassed nerves. She updates me
on the situation at Lizzie House - Lizzie has had a good week overall
though the damp weather has affected her, making her ache. Poor
Lizzie
What has she got up her sleeve this weekend, Tina? Any idea?
I asked once this topic has been exhausted.
Well, its the second Saturday so therell be open house
tomorrow. She said as she drives up the hill. All sorts of people
come along members of the operatic society, students from uni,
writing circle, anyone really. Itll be good fun.
Again, I feel as though Im going home when I walk into the
house I give Lizzie a big hug, reluctant to let go of her and,
although she quickly asks if I am all right, I tell her Im just tired
she seems to accept that. As last week, we sit and talk in the Pink
Room for the rest of the evening.
We spend a quiet morning on Saturday. I go for a walk into the
village to take Lizzies library books back and potter round the shops
there. I think she can see that I need some space and generously gives
it to me.
By two in the afternoon, were both sitting in the Pink Room
waiting for the open house to begin.
Apart from the growing dread that Gilesll turn up, Im looking
forward to seeing what happens at this event. Tina has laid on what
seems like gallons of tea and coffee and plates of biscuits they are
obviously expecting a lot of people.
One of the first to arrive is Dan, the chap I met at the concert.
Hes clearly pleased to see me and, carts me off into a corner while
Lizzie is busy talking to some students who followed him in.
How was your week, Jane? he asked.
I give him a very brief outline but, although he listens, he
changes the subject immediately and fairly soon we are talking about

91

him his singing and stage career generally. He is rather full of

himself or am I just being picky?
Are you doing anything tonight, Jane? If not, we could get
tickets and go to see the play thats on at the Rondo. Its supposed to
be quite good.
I dont know if Lizzie has anything organised or not, Dan, Id
have to ask.
I look round the room to see where Lizzie has got to Shit!
Giles is standing in the doorway.
Damn the man for having this effect on me!
Lizzie is talking to a rather flamboyant woman on my left and,
pretending I havent seen Giles at all, I nip over to her, Dan following
in my wake.
Dans asked if I want to go to the play at the Rondo tonight, I
said brightly, rather too brightly.
She looks at me strangely.
Lizzie is there anything else arranged? I dont want to ruin
your plans.
No, Jane. Theres nothing much arranged for tonight. That
play had a good write up in the paper, Dan. It would be worth
seeing.
I turn to Dan with a big smile and say that Id be delighted to go
with him. A sixth sense tells me that Giles is standing behind me and
that he heard what I said. Maintaining my smile, and wishing I were
dead, I turn and affect surprise
Hello, Giles I didnt know you were here.
I can see that Lizzies not fooled one little bit, but Ill cross that
bridge when I have to.
Dan, you were going to introduce me to some of your operatic
friends. If youll excuse us, Giles. I said, extending the smile and
virtually forcing Dan to move away.
Thank God, Dan doesnt think Im being odd he leads me over
to a group of young people soon I am being introduced to Clare
(twenties and very friendly), Richard (similar) and Richards
girlfriend, Tilly who has a small boy with her Joshua is probably
pre-school two? three? Im a bit shaky when it comes to that
sort of thing. Theyre very easy to talk to and, using last weeks

92

concert as a starting point, are soon telling me all about the latest
production Follies by Stephen Sondheim. I dont know the show at
all but soon learn that it is basically about the mid-life crisis in the
lives of several women.
I can relate to that
A large part of my mind occupied with logging where Giles is at
any given moment, I try to give a reasonable impression of someone
who is listening.
Jane, Ive got to go shortly. Dan said, looking at his watch a
little later. Ill come and pick you up at seven. That okay?
Sure, Ill look forward to it. I lied.
Watching him leave the room, I feel a momentary panic can I
perhaps run away to my room? I cant do that. Im a big girl now.
Looking around desperately for somewhere to go, I spot Lizzie sitting
holding court in her usual seat by the window. Trying to look casual,
I pick up a plate of biscuits, cross the room and join her group on the
pretext of passing them round.
She gives me a worried look before introducing me to Antony
who Ive not met before and Dave whos the guy who met me at the
station the first time I came here. Daves older than I first thought
he must be in his thirties at least and Antony is probably slightly
older. Theyre discussing an art exhibition which Antony is having
in the town and it gradually dawns on me that theyre in a
relationship. At one point they bicker like a married couple until
Lizzie tells them to behave. Antony tells me all about his art hes a
painter in oils and specialises in miniatures which are just coming
back into fashion. A lot of the technical stuff hes talking about goes
clean over my head but I try to look as though Im following.
Giles is over by the fireplace talking to someone I dont know.
This whole afternoon is taking on a nightmarish, unreal quality.
When the door opens to admit Jo and Alastair with a baby, I am so
relieved I could cry. They make their way over to us and introduce
me to Eleanor, or Ellie as she is known.
Are you okay, Jane? Jo asked quietly.
Weve taken Ellie over to the window to show her the view.
Yes sure Im fine. I lied.
Pull the other one. Whats up?

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Why? Dont I look all right? I replied frantically.

No, not to put too fine a point on it. Lets go up to your room,
shall we?
We quietly walk out of the room, Ellie gurgling to herself
happily.
Standing in my bedroom, I feel a fool. Why am I in such a
state?
Jo closes the door and looks at me.
Jane, What on earth is wrong?
Oh, Its so silly, Jo making a fuss like that in front of
everyone.
Dont look so worried, Jane, Im sure no-one else will have
noticed except Lizzie of course, she notices everything
But you noticed.
Yes, well, I see these things and anyway, I like you dont
like to see you in a state.
Oh Jo it shook me thats all.
What shook you? Jo persisted.
Im making a complete fool of myself you see, Im so used
to being on my own Ive forgotten what real life is like and
Look, Jane, I lived on my own for years I know what its like.
Im not going to think you a fool, you know.
It sounds so absurdly pathetic when I explain how Id been
stupid enough to let myself think that Giles could possibly and
how Id seen him on the station platform and now Ive agreed to
go out with Dan tonight.
I see. Jo said, and I get the feeling that she really does. Oh
Jane. Why do we do it? I dont know Giles that well, but Lizzies
always talking about him shes never mentioned any woman and
she certainly would have done if there was one.
Maybe she doesnt know.
Thats possible, I suppose. But my impression is that he tells
her pretty well everything, theyre very close. Either way, youre not
being stupid, Jane. You want to watch Dan though. Hes charming
but there is only one very important person in his life himself!
Oh, Jo. Why am I such an idiot? I feel about sixteen, and a
naff sixteen at that! I wailed and she laughs,

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Jane, I have asked myself that question time and time again
over the past years. I dont know if Lizzie has told you our history,
but before Alastair and I could get together, we were lovers for some
years I lost count of the number of times I told myself I ought to
walk away from it . and then failed completely to do so. If a man
makes your stomach turn cartwheels merely by walking into a room,
then thats how it is. You have to learn to live with it.
It is comforting talking to Jo, she is so sensible and
understanding.
You have to talk to Giles, Jane, if only to get things back into
perspective. Hes still the nice guy you knew before and your
friendship is still a valid thing. Come on, get it over with.
Oh Jo, I cant
Oh yes you can, Jane. Come on.
I know shes right but all the same following her down the
stairs I feel like an aristo going to the guillotine. We walk back into
the Pink Room. Alastair immediately registers that Jo has returned
and, without making it obvious, comes over to see what is the matter
with her.
Everything okay? he said quietly under cover of taking Ellie
from her and I see immediately the depth of understanding that exists
between them.
Im fine. Ill tell you about it later. Jo whispers with a smile.
Satisfied that shes okay, he goes off with Ellie.
Giles is still part of a group by the fireplace. Jo draws me over
to join them. The sharp glance he gives me as we approach tells me
all I need to know. I very nearly cut and run, but Jos on the ball and
grabs me, introducing me to the flamboyant lady on my left before I
can run away.
Jane, I dont think you know Daisy one of the uncrowned
queens of the local theatrical scene. Jo said, Hello, Giles, how are
you? You missed a brilliant concert last weekend Jane tell him how
good it was.
With that, she turned to Daisy. Leaving the two of us standing
there.
Silence.

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The concert it was very good Jo sang brilliantly. I said

squirming.
Yes, I heard. Id hoped to be there but something cropped up
and I had to be elsewhere. He said coolly.
Doubtless it was important.
Yes, it was actually.
Silence.
How is life in Taunton?
Chilly. I said for want of anything better to say.
Its not much better here. He commented pointedly.
I almost flinch.
I was beginning to wonder if Lizzie had turned the heating off.
He said tightly
Not that I know of. I retorted, my head held high, giving him
back filthy look for filthy look.
How dare he!
Youve been busy in the office this week then?
Not particularly,. I replied without thinking Shit! I mean
yes. we were very busy all week.
I wouldnt have pestered you with so many e-mails if Id
known you were so busy.
Silence.
Has your secretary given notice yet?
No, she knows a good position when she sees it and I pay her
enough to keep her sweet.
His arrogance makes my temper flare.
I suppose some people will do anything if the money is right.
I countered viciously.
The look in his eyes would cut diamonds.
I see. Well, Im not paying you anything so I shall relieve you
of my obviously obnoxious company.
With which comment, he turned, went over to Lizzie and after a
brief word with her left the room, his back stating quite clearly that he
was in a stinking temper.
Oh Jane! Jo said to me.
I stood there regretting every syllable.

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Were very alike we share a birthday, you know. I said

conversationally, numb inside.
Youve both got vile tempers, Ill give you that.
How I get through the rest of the afternoon I do not know.
I speak to several people, hold what I hope is an intelligent
conversation with a couple of drama students on the subject of the
Balkan war and its effect on women and smile how I smile.
At one point, I see Jo talking to Lizzie and by the way that
Lizzie is glancing over at me, I can guess what they are talking about.
I have an overpowering desire to escape to my room and sob
myself silly on the bed, but I cant do that. I am a sensible woman in
her forties who is going to the theatre with an attractive man in a few
hours time. The fact that its the wrong man is irrelevant.
I smile and chat and smile and chat ..
After what seems like an eternity, everyone goes. I help Tina
clear up the cups and plates, and gradually the Pink Room reverts to
its normal state.
Jane, my dear. Come and sit down with me. Lizzie said
gently, when I can no longer find anything to busy myself with.
She doesnt beat about the bush or pretend not to know what is
going on.
Jane, it was Sarah, his sister, he was seeing off at the station
last Sunday. Sarah had a problem she needed Giless advice about
he dropped everything, as he always does, to help her.
It is all too much for me. I just burst into tears.
Come here, child. Lizzie said,
I fall to my knees beside her chair and bury my face in her lap.
She strokes my hair as I try to control myself.
Oh Jane, Jane.
Oh, this is stupid. And Im not a child I should know better.
I said eventually, sniffing loudly. Im sorry Lizzie, Ive let the side
down rather.
Oh, dont go on as if this were a hockey match, Jane. She
snapped at me. Giles is an attractive man, hes very like his father
was at that age. You are a vulnerable and sensitive woman and drew
quite reasonable conclusions from what I have seen of the two of you
Jane, he does like you very much. Why do you think he was so

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terribly angry this afternoon? You are so very alike you know think
how you are feeling and then put yourself in his position.
Oh God! I whispered as this sinks into my head and he heard
me agree to go out with Dan tonight.
That makes her laugh,
Sorry, Jane, you sound so pathetic its not the end of the
world you know. Giless temper doesnt last long, any more than
yours does. I imagine hes regretting this afternoon every bit as much
as you are and wondering what the hell hes done to warrant you
being so off with him.
How on earth can I possibly apologise without explaining why
... and I cant do that! I wailed.
Well sort that out, dont you worry, Jane. Now, go and get
yourself ready Dan will be here in half an hour. Theres no reason
to miss out on a visit to the theatre just because youve had a row with
Giles. No man is worth that not even Giles! Anyway, itll do him
good to know that hes not the only fish in the sea.
In the end I pull myself together and am ready, if not in high
spirits, when Dan arrives.
The play is entertaining a little serious but, considering the
mood Im in, thats probably no bad thing. A comedy would
probably have made me cry again.
He takes me for a drink after the play and does his best to charm
me but Im really not in the mood and plead a headache by way of
apology for my lack of enthusiasm. He very kindly takes me home
but before I can get out of the car, he reaches across and leans forward
to kiss me before he can get too intense, I make an excuse and leap
out of the car. I just hope he doesnt realise that I cant get away
quickly enough.
Like the nicely brought up woman I am, I thank him for a lovely
evening and even give him my e-mail address, murmuring noncommittally when he suggests that we do this again sometime. I even
wave as he manoeuvres his car out of the drive.
I am so relieved when Tina lets me into the house. Fortunately,
she doesnt say much but merely tells me that Lizzie is in bed waiting
to see me.
How was the play? Lizzie asked as I went into her bedroom.

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Very good rather sombre but very well done. Poor Dan, I
wasnt very good company.
She chuckles at that and tells me that itll do him good to doubt
his powers of attraction.
Giles rang.
I look up at her not knowing what to think.
He wanted to apologise for being in such a temper. That, and
to see if I had any idea what hed done to upset you youd have
appreciated the roundabout way he did it, Jane. I pleaded ignorance
but said that youd not been yourself and were clearly bothered about
something, probably nothing whatsoever to do with him. I also
suggested that it might be best if he forgot about the whole thing and
dropped you a friendly e-mail sometime during the week possibly
towards the end of the week. I thought that might give you a chance
to get yourself together.
Thanks Lizzie.
I think I can probably get my head round that the thought of
having to explain just brings me out in a cold sweat.
Lizzie Im so sorry to have messed up your day like this.
Jane, this is real life not a fairy story! You are a real woman
and thats the person I want to be involved with, not some doll who
never puts a step wrong or has an opinion or Look, Jane as I
see it, we have two options in life we can either take it by the horns,
make mistakes, get hurt but also laugh and have fun or we can
chicken out, run away into a corner and hide in case we get hurt. I
dont think youre the sort to run away. One day, well laugh about
this.
I hope youre right, Lizzie. I just feel a total fool. Im fortyone for goodness sake not a kid of sixteen!
That makes her laugh. I find myself joining in, if half-heartedly.
Jane, Im a lot older than that and I still havent got the hang of
it yet. I dont think one ever does, you know. I think Jo told you
something similar, didnt she?
Yes oh Lizzie whatever does Jo think of me? I fell apart all
over her.
Jo empathises enormously with people she likes and she likes
you. I wouldnt waste time worrying about what she thinks of you

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Now I think you should go to bed. Will you come to church with me
in the morning? I cant help but think it might do you good.
Of course I will. I said, kissing her cheek and tucking her in.
Goodnight.
Lying in bed, I go over and over every word Giles and I said to
each other, then I visualise exactly what he must be feeling sleep
does not come quickly.
I feel better in the morning. Lizzie is right, church is good for
me. The vicars sermon is all about how God understands us and
loves us as we are and not as we think we should be. It soothes me a
little and by the time I get the train home, Im feeling more myself.
Work is manic on Monday half the secretarial staff have gone
down with the disgusting flu bug that is sweeping the town at the
moment. Im called in to help with the workload for two other
departments and by the time I get home, I am shattered.
There were no messages from Giles
Almost as a prayer, I light the candle on the mantelpiece. Im so
tired that I go to bed as soon as Ive eaten tomorrow is likely to be
as bad.
Im right.
Tuesday, I work an extra hour after work and only take ten
minutes for lunch. Weve got some temporary staff in to help out but
there are things they cant do.
By Wednesday, Im running on fumes.
Still nothing from Giles.
Thursday morning I wake with a sore throat and a slight
headache, but taking the last of the paracetamol, I haul myself off to
work. By lunchtime, my head is pounding and Matthew is telling me
to go home.
Im all right, Matthew, honestly.
He looked me straight in the eye, Jane, I think youve caught
the flu go home. Go to bed and stay there until you feel better.
By the time I get home, Im feeling really rough. Not bothering
with food or drink, I go to bed and sleep. I wake Friday morning
feeling as though someone has beaten me up
I cant get warm, despite my sensible pyjamas I ache all over
and my head hurts. I stagger into the kitchen and get myself a glass

100

of water and, after a ten minute search through the medicine

cupboard, find some aspirin.
Must phone Lizzie and tell her I wont be coming I dial her
number. It rings and then Tina answers.
Tina? Jane here. Ive got the flu and wont be coming this
weekend, please apologise for me to Lizzie. No, I dont feel to
good cant get warm all achy yes, Im going back to bed.
Thanks, I hope I feel better soon, too.
Duty done, I take myself back to bed.
I drift in and out of consciousness uncaring.
Sometime during the day I have to get up to go to the loo and
manage to get a drink of water - Im so terribly thirsty and then
stagger back to bed.
Its dusk when I next wake must be late afternoon whats
that noise? The doorbell oh, stop it I stuff my head under the
duvet but the noise doesnt go away someone has their finger on the
bell push.
Im coming I mutter hoarsely, getting out of bed.
I wait while my head stops spinning, slowly pick up my dressing
gown and stagger along the hall, steadying myself on the wall as I go.
Fumbling with the knob, I open the door Giles is standing
there.
I blink surely Im hallucinating I blink again, but hes still
there.
Giles what are you doing here? I ask swaying and holding
on to the door for security.
Ive come to look after you, you daft woman! he said, leading
me back to bed.
Efficiently removing my dressing gown, he encourages me to
get back into bed then, tidying up the duvet, he disappears again.
I must be dreaming
Giles I call out feebly not expecting a reply
Ill be back in a moment. comes back along the corridor.
He really is here I struggle to remain awake but must have
drifted off again, because when I next open my eyes, its to see him
sitting in the chair in the corner of the room reading by the light of the
lamp hes brought in from the lounge.

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As soon as he realises that Im awake, he comes over.

Hello, you daft woman. How are you feeling?
I feel the tears starting to form in my eyes,
Lousy. Im so thirsty.
Tears are starting to run down my face now. He reaches across
for the loo roll which stands on my dressing table and rips off a chunk
to wipe away the wetness. That merely makes me worse and I catch a
glimpse of his wry smile as he sits on the bed, gently taking me in his
arms and holding on to me as I cry into his shoulder.
Ive got some fruit juice for you in the kitchen. He said when
Ive wound down a little. You hang on here, Ill go and get it.
I watch as he walks quickly out of the room.
Hes not angry with me the relief sets off the tears again but
nothing seems to work. I just lie there letting them run down my face
and sniffing.
I hear his footsteps come into the room and the vague tutting
noise he makes as he sees the mess I am in. Patiently, he mops me up
and then helps me sit up so I can drink some of the juice. Its cool
and soothes my throat a little. Slowly, I manage to drink the glassful.
Hes very gentle with me.
I try to thank him but drift off to sleep before I can finish the
sentence.
I have a vague idea that he does this several times but I dont
really remember I drift in and out of sleep and always he is there
sometimes with a soothing drink and sometimes with a damp
flannel wiping my face.
It is full daylight when I next become aware properly of whats
going on around me. The aches have gone to a large extent but I feel
as weak as a kitten.
I must go to the loo.
Slowly, I try to get out of bed but nothing seems to work and I
fall back against the pillows frustrated. I must have made a noise,
because the next thing I know is that Giles is in the doorway.
Jane, what are you trying to do?
He looks rough; he hasnt shaved and appears to have slept in
his clothes.
I need the loo.

102

If I get you to the bathroom, do you think you can manage? he

asked reaching for my dressing gown.
Yes, I think so. I replied as he helps me stand.
I wobble precariously as he wraps my dressing gown round me.
My knees are all wobbly and someone has stolen my balance but with
his help, I make it to the bathroom. Moving slowly and carefully, I
do what I need to do and make it back to the door, where I le an on the
doorpost waiting for him to come and rescue me.
Giles, what day is it? Ive lost track.
Monday. He replied fortunately hes holding on to me pretty
steadily because the shock nearly knocks me off balance.
What?
Monday, Jane.
It cant be!
Im afraid it is youve been out for the count for over two
days. I dont suppose you remember the doctor coming out, do you?
No I didnt think you would. I was quite concerned about you
but he said that your constitution was strong and the only thing to
worry about was whether it went onto your chest or not. I gather
some people are developing pneumonia with this particular strain of
flu.
He helps me back into bed while I try to digest all this.
Two days?
Yes, and you were delirious for a good bit of that. I even rang
Tina for reassurance at one point she must have thought me crazy.
The flowers are from Lizzie by the way. He said, pointing out the
lovely arrangement which is on the dressing table thats kind of her.
But you should be at work if its Monday, Giles.
Ive brought my laptop with me and am using your telephone
line and before you start fretting about that, Ill sort the bill out.
Jane, youve scared the daylights out of all of us. When you do
something you do it properly, dont you?
He sits down on the bed.
Do you remember ringing Tina on Friday morning?
I nod yes I remember that.
Well, you sounded pretty out of it even then and Lizzie
panicked. She she rang me. I called Matthew he confirmed

103

that hed sent you home from work on Thursday with the flu thats
going through the office.
Well, I made one of my executive
decisions and told Lizzie that Id come down and look after you. Just
as well I did too.
He expression becomes grim for a moment, but then clears and
he smiles at me.
But youre a lot better now. Hungry?
A little.
Good, Ill get you some food. You lie here I wont be long.
Hes back in about fifteen minutes with a boiled egg and some
bread and butter. Putting the tray down on the dressing table, he helps
me to sit up and piles up the pillows behind me, then sitting on the
bed, proceeds to feed me
Giles, this is silly. Im sure I can feed myself.
He cocks an amused eye at me.
Jane dont be such a daft woman.
I must admit that, by the time I have finished the egg, I am
exhausted and all Ive done is open my mouth and eat the food.
Drink? he suggests producing a glass of fruit juice and
holding it for me. The doctor said it would be a couple of days
before you were on your feet and even then, youll need to convalesce
for at least a week.
I cant do that! Ive got to get back to work.
Theyll just have to manage without you, Jane. Youre not
going to be up to it for a while yet. Now, will you be okay if I leave
you for a bit, only I havent dared go out of earshot for the last couple
of days and would dearly like a shower.
Im fine. I said automatically which raises a grin from the
man. Honestly, Giles, Im pretty feeble but Im okay. The showers
useless, Im afraid. Can you find towels and stuff.
Stop fussing, woman! Ill manage.
I lie here letting the food go down and think over what I can
recall of the past couple of days. I remember him arriving here I
opened the door for him and he called me a daft woman that
much I do recall, but after that there are just vague impressions
Giles helping me drink something Giles sitting reading in the
corner

104

I contemplate what it would have been like if he had not been

here and shudder.
When he reappears, hes shaved and his hair is damp and
tousled.
Thats better! he exclaimed, sitting on the edge of the bed
And how is madame?
Madame is very grateful. Whereve you been sleeping? I
asked curiously, drinking in the mere fact of his presence.
In that chair mostly, but I brought a sleeping bag and intend to
spend tonight stretched out on the luxury of your lounge floor. You
werent fit to be left on your own, Jane. Which reminds me, I must
ring Lizzie and let her know how you are.
He goes into the lounge to use the phone.
Tina? Giles here Yes, shes a lot better weak but herself.
Yes, weve turned the corner now so tell Lizzie to stop worrying
She says thanks for the flowers. Yes Ill do that.
He reappears in my room.
They all send their love, Jane, and are delighted that you are
feeling better. Tinas had the devils own job keeping Lizzie in Bath,
she wanted to dash down here and it was only the thought that she
wouldnt have been able to help in any practical way that stopped her
doing just that. That and the idea that if she then went and caught the
flu shed be a bigger nuisance than anything.
But you might get it.
Im sensible, I had the flu jab.
I grab the loo roll from beside the bed, and weakly try to throw
it at him.
You are feeling better! Youll be arguing with me soon.
Great! he said delighted.
You wait until Im on my feet! I said defiantly but he just
laughs.
I spend the rest of the day dozing while he works at his laptop in
the lounge, popping in every hour or so with drinks or just to see how
I am. To my ongoing amazement, Im quite content to just lie here
doing nothing I dont even contemplate reading.
Its just so
wonderful being able to lie here with my limbs not aching any more

105

Giles cooks chicken for dinner, with potatoes and peas, again he
helps me to eat it.
Its appalling how weak I feel. The annoyance builds up until I
get very cross with myself for being such a wimp. Tears prick my
eyes which annoys me even more.
Oh Jane! he said with understanding, Stop being so hard on
yourself. For a start you havent eaten for four days and on top of that
you were running one hell of a temperature of course youre going
to be weak. Youll be back to normal soon, honestly. Youve never
been seriously ill before have you?
No. And Im not enjoying it one bit! I wailed as he hands me
the loo roll so I can wipe my eyes.
How would it be if I read to you for a while? I think music or
TV would be too much at the moment.
Would you?
I need something to take my mind off things but my head still
aches a bit and its easier lying here with my eyes shut.
Ive brought a couple of books with me do you know Terry
Pratchetts books at all? They are set in a fantasy world and quite
amusing.
Fantasy like Tolkien, you mean? I asked, surely not even
Giles could think Tolkien amusing.
No, nothing like that. Ill give it a bash and see what you think.
If you dont like it Ill find something else.
He starts reading to me it is a tale about three witches like in
Macbeth only not at all like Macbeth I like it.
After an hour, he stops, telling me that I look sleepy.
Ill get you something to drink and then you can get some
sleep.
Giles, thank you for everything. I said, grasping his arm, as
he takes the mug from me when I have finished.
He covers my hand with his and smiles.
Dont give it a thought, Jane. I just hope all my clients dont
expect this sort of personal attention! Ill leave the door open so if
you need anything just call and Ill come. Okay?

106

I listen to the comforting sound of him pottering around the flat,

washing up in the kitchen, moving a few things in the lounge and drift
off to sleep.
I awake with a bump the rooms pitch dark my heart
racing, I try to calm down Shit! That was a horrible nightmare
come on, Jane, pull yourself together I turn over and haul the
duvet over my shoulder a sudden noise by the window gets my
mind roiling again tears run down my face a sob escapes me
I try to muffle it in the pillow, groping around with one hand for the
loo roll wheres it gone cant find it.
Suddenly theres a little light around the doorway the lounge
lights been turned on, and moments later Giles rushes in.
Jane! What on earth is the matter?
Sitting down on the bed, he puts his arms round me and rocks
me as I sob into his pyjama jacket.
Hey, nothing is that bad, Jane. Come, my dear, calm down,
come on. He said firmly and gradually I control my hysteria and the
sobs become sniffs.
What was all that about?
I blow my nose in a very unladylike fashion and look at him
sheepishly by the light of the bedside lamp.
Sorry, Giles, I had a nightmare thats all
I take a deep breath as the tears threaten again.
I was all on my own I was so scared. I explained, my voice
cracking as I relive the terror which woke me. Ill be all right now
sorry I disturbed you.
He looks at me in the dim light for a moment thinking, then
visibly comes to a decision.
Mmmm. You wait here.
He disappears into the lounge and comes back a few moments
later carrying a sleeping bag, which he proceeds to lay out on the
other half of the bed on top of the duvet. Popping back into the
lounge and turning off the light, he comes back and wraps the
sleeping bag round himself.
Any chance I can have one of those pillows?
Of course.
He arranges the pillows so that we have one each.

107

Head up, Jane. He said. putting his arm round me so that my

head is resting on his shoulder.
Go to sleep, Jane. Youre not alone. He said reaching across
me to turn off the bedside lamp.
Its daylight when I wake again. Hes sound asleep with his
arm still around me. Poor man cannot have got much sleep over the
last few days. I doze on and off until he wakes.
Good morning, feeling better? he said anxiously.
Yes, sorry about last night. I said feeling a fool Im doing
that a lot these days, Youre being very patient with me.
Look yesterday you were complaining that I was a bully
you cant have it both ways you know! he said making me smile.
Now I think the challenge today is to get you into the bath. Ill
also change the bedding where do you hang it to dry?
On the radiators usually.
That wont do, the last thing we want is a damp atmosphere in
here. Oh well, nothing for it the bedding will have to languish in a
bin bag until I can get it to Bath for washing. He concluded,
extricating himself from his sleeping bag.
You cant do that!
Why not? Thats what familys for, Jane, helping out when
you need them and being a pain in the neck when you dont. I dont
think I can manage washing your hair is it very uncomfortable?
Not really, just tacky I must look a complete wreck smell
pretty foul too.
Youve had a vicious dose of flu, Jane. You cannot expect to
come out of that looking like a fashion plate or smelling like roses!
This is the real world. Ill get you something to drink and grab a
quick shower, then well get you into the bath. He said firmly.
I take it all back, Giles, you are a dreadful bully! I said when
he re-appeared with a glass of fruit juice for me. Any chance I can
use the loo before you have your shower?
Im fractionally less wobbly than yesterday but still need his
help walking which is most humbling, and am relieved to get back
into bed again; I doze while he showers. He insists on me having
something to eat while he runs the bath and sits me in the chair,

108

stripping the bed expertly as I munch on the toast hes prepared for
me.
Ive put plenty of bubble stuff in the bath, Jane, and I think the
temperature is about right. Ill help you along to the bathroom, then if
you can get yourself into the water, Ill come and sit with you.
You cant come and watch me in the bath!
You are not safe to be left in the bath on your own. He
countered practically. Oh stop being so silly, Jane. Youll be quite
decent, Ive put enough bubble bath in there to hide a herd of
elephants and anyway, Im a big boy, I know women have hairy legs
and armpits!
Why do you have to be right all the time? I raged feebly at
him which makes him laugh.
Never mind, youll doubtless get your own back sometime.
He leaves me to undress in the bathroom while he re-makes the
bed.
Jane, where do I find a clean nightie or whatever for you?
I direct him to the drawer where there should be one. Im
finding it very hard work taking off my pyjamas. I have to keep
stopping to catch my breath. Leaving the stinky garments in a heap
on the floor, I carefully step into the bath the water is just about the
right temperature and I am just about to sink into it when I realise Ive
not tied my hair up.
Giles, I need a hair band on the dressing table.
Hes in the bathroom clutching a hair band in one hand and a
clean nightie in the other before I realise that I am sitting here starkers
boobs on full view oh well, no point making a song and dance
about it now and topless happens these days.
He was married, hes seen it all before.
Being the perfect gentleman he is, he hands me the hair band
and busies himself looking the other way while I tie my hair back and
sink beneath the bubbles.
Sorry about that. I said slightly bashfully, The waters just
right thank you.
He sits himself on the closed lid of the loo,

109

Ill boil a kettle to top it up if you want later. It wont do you

any harm to stay there for a while, just as long as you dont get cold
Ill scrub your back for you before you get out if you like.
Youre a very good nurse, Giles, its unusual in a man, if youll
excuse me saying so, have you had experience of it before?
Not nursing adults, no. But when my mother died and Aunt
Joan came to take over, she virtually handed over the care of Sarah to
me.
Crickey!
Seems unbelievable now ... with hindsight, she must have
monitored me very closely, but, at the time, I felt as though I was
Sarahs sole support. It had hit me hard losing Mum like that one
minute she was there and the next not the twins were quite a lot
younger and anyway they had each other I wasnt dealing with it
very well. Kids dont understand mortality it was a shock, I kept
thinking that Id wake up and shed be there.
Oh Giles
I wasnt the only one. Dad was utterly devastated and trying to
deal with the grief and guilt he felt Lizzie was fantastic I remember,
he wouldnt have got through it nearly as well without her help.
Theyve known each other for ever, you know, they went to school
together. But anyway to get back to me Aunt Joans a fantastic,
practical woman and she realised that I needed to be doing something
and there was Sarah a few days old needing to be looked after so
she got me involved in the day to day practicalities of looking after a
baby. It was just what I needed at the time and also formed the basis
of the strong bond between Sarah and I today.
What? Nappies and all that?
Oh yes, I learned how to look after her - bathing, feeding,
nappies the lot a bizarre education for a ten year old boy, I know,
but it did the trick. Looking after you over the past few days wasnt
so very different its no good sticking your tongue out at me, you
daft woman!
Whats Sarah like? I asked, remembering my stupidity of the
other week.
Sarah? his face lit up with pride, Shes the original blonde
bombshell - very like Mum, especially now as shes about the same

110

age that I remember my mother I know Dad finds it difficult

sometimes when he sees her. He never really got over the guilt at
Mums death. He was the one who wanted another child, you see.
Good God, that must be difficult to live with. Hasnt he ever
got involved with anyone since then?
No. I think if it was going to be anyone, it would have been
Lizzie but that never happened at least I dont think it did. Never
really thought about it you dont, you know, when its your parent.
Theyre very close, arent they? I thought that the first time I
met your father, Giles.
Yes he looks thoughtful. Youre very like Lizzie, you
know Jane. Is it a family likeness?
So everyone keeps telling me. As for it being a family thing,
no, far from it. My father, and my Aunt Joyce for that matter, were
totally different from Lizzie. Oh there are certain similarities
sometimes when shes cross about something I can almost see my
father sitting there. He was always cross about something. But
neither of them had that spark which Lizzie has.
You mean the twinkle she gets when shes up to something.
He said, his lips twitching.
Youve seen it too! I said as his smile grows broader What
are you laughing at Mr Brewster?
Id get you a mirror if I knew where to find one, Jane.
It takes me a moment to work out what he is getting at, then the
penny drops.
Well, maybe not only when shes up to something do I
really do it too? I asked shyly. This whole family thing is a very
new concept to me and is taking some getting used to. Oh stop
laughing, you wretched man!
Do you want that water warmed up, Jane? he said going to fill
the kettle.
Eventually, despite several top ups from the kettle, we decide
that I have to get out of the bath.
Before you even suggest it, Jane, there is no way you are going
to be able to manage on your own. Now, I reckon the best way is for
you to stand up and Ill wrap a towel round you and help you out of
the bath.

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Giles, five, no six weeks ago I didnt even know you existed
and now you are helping me get out of the bath. My reputation is
blown for ever.
I declared desperately trying to cover my
embarrassment.
Ill just have to marry you then, wont I. He said jokingly.
We both laugh but then our eyes meet and it ceases to be
funny.
A strange awkwardness descends.
Well, lets get you out of this bath, shall we? he said
seriously, holding out the towel ready for me.
As he wraps it round me, Im very aware of him. The situation
is not helped by the fact that my head is spinning now I am standing,
and he is practically holding me up.
The bed feels fresh and cool when I get back into it, exhausted
but relaxed. Giles fusses around a little straightening the pillows and
then suggests that I get a little sleep while he goes and does some
work. Im asleep before hes left the room.
The door bell ringing wakes me. A glance at the clock tells me
that Ive slept for two hours.
Ridiculous!
As I am lying there drowsily, Giles appears in the doorway,
Jane, you have a visitor. Matthews here to see you.
He stands aside to let Matthew in and offers him a cup of coffee.
Jane, how are you? Giles tells me youve been really bad.
Matthew said concerned.
Yes, I was rather poorly. In fact if Giles hadnt materialised to
look after me, Id have been in a bad way.
Giles brings in a mug of coffee for Matthew and some more
fruit juice for me we tried coffee yesterday and it tastes foul to me,
so were sticking to the juice for the moment.
He explains to
Matthew that he called the doctor out at the weekend and that the
doctor had insisted that I should take a couple of weeks off to recover.
Matthew looks horrified at this but I have to admire Giless
tactics, hes working on the we are both professional employers
basis and taking Matthews agreement as understood. Matthew really
cant disagree without seeming uncaring about my welfare poor
man!

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 so Im intending to take Jane up to her aunt in Bath as soon

as shes able to travel. I dont expect shell be fit for work until at
least um the second week in December, if not longer. She cant
actually walk unaided yet. Giles finished.
Matthew, gets his diary out, and rises to the occasion admirably
telling me that I mustnt even think about coming back until the 4 th or
thereabouts.
Dont worry about a thing, Jane. Just get better again. Keep
me posted will you, Giles? he said as he left.
You completely steamrollered the poor man! I cried when
Giles reappeared in the bedroom after showing Matthew out. He
didnt have a chance!
He deserved it. Giles said angrily. This is the first time hes
been anywhere near you you could have died at the weekend for all
the good he was! Hes not going to bulldoze you into going back to
work until you are well and truly fit for it.
Oh, Giles! Dont get into such a state. I said trying to calm
him down. He really is extremely angry.
Sorry, Jane, you gave me quite a scare on Saturday and Im
still jittery ... It just annoyed me that he had the gall to question my
being here when I opened the door. I could have hit him.
Did you mean it when you said about taking me to Lizzie? I
asked, trying to take his mind off Matthew.
Oh yes. As soon as you are fit to travel probably tomorrow I
think.
I cant read his expression as he looks at me.
Youve been away from the office too long as it is, I suppose.
I said, suddenly aware that I have got used to having him around.
The phone rings, which means that he doesnt have to answer
me. He dashes off to answer it.
Hello? Oh hello, Lizzie. Yes, shes a lot better. Just had a
bath, though washing her hair is rather beyond both of us at the
moment very funny I dont think! Lizzie dont be obscene!
Her boss called round earlier and isnt expecting her back at work
until the beginning of December What do you mean? Of
course, I did. Did you honestly expect me not to? Anyway, I
think shes fit to travel and intend to drive her up to you tomorrow. Is

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that okay? Ill be bringing a load of washing with me, theres

nowhere to dry it here. yes, Lizzie of course I will . probably
lunchtime or thereabouts I should think. No, shes in bed and not
terribly mobile and the phone wont reach Ill give her that
message, dont worry. Bye, see you tomorrow.
Lizzie sends her love and is looking forward to seeing you
tomorrow. I have strict instructions to ensure that the flat is closed up
properly and a message left for the milkman. He finished dryly.
Honestly, there are times when that woman forgets Im a grown man
now! You can giggle, Jane! Just because shes known me all my life,
she thinks she can get away with it.
Giles, you silly sod! You know shes only fussing because she
cares about you.
His annoyance dissipates as rapidly as it appeared.
As for you, you daft woman, Id better get you some lunch.

114

12.

JANE GOES TO BATH

He spends an hour and a half on the phone to a client during the

afternoon and then composes a detailed e-mail to his secretary.
It is obvious that hes needed back in the office.
Having packed everything he can lay his hands on, and tidied up
the flat into the bargain, he then reads to me for an hour.
Where does he get his energy?
When it is time to sleep, Giles insists on taking no chances and
we spend the night the same way as before, with his sleeping bag on
my bed.
Were very relaxed with each other not really surprising
considering the events of the last few days! But every now and then I
catch a seriously worried, almost desperate look on his face when he
thinks I am not looking.
My nightmares dont reappear whether because hes with me
or not, I dont know but we both get a good nights sleep.
Dressing on Wednesday morning takes all my energy and I have
to sit for half an hour to recover, listening to Giles talking to his
secretary on the phone and dictating messages.
How on earth has he explained this to her? After all, Im not a
relation or even an old friend.
Right, Ill go and load up the car you sit there, Jane, dont
even think about trying to move. He instructed in the high handed
way that Im learning he resorts to when he wants to hide his deep
concern.
Yes, Mr Brewster. I replied saluting he smiles and tells me
Im a daft woman
Im starting to get a warm feeling every time he calls me that,
its almost an endearment the way he says it.
He carefully wraps me up warmly but even so, Im surprised at
how cold it is outside when I finally leave the flat. Im a lot steadier
now and can walk unaided, but am still weaker than I expect and the
walk from the flat to the car leaves me exhausted and more than
happy to sink into the passenger seat.
You okay, Jane? he asked anxiously as he starts the car. I
havent pushed you too hard, have I?
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No, Im fine.
He grunts disbelievingly and draws away from the kerb.
During the journey, we listen to the CDs he has of a show called
Les Miserables. Ive not heard it before, though one or two of the
songs sound vaguely familiar so I have probably heard them on the
radio sometime.
Its about one of the minor revolutions in Paris. Giles
explained to me, Its based on the Victor Hugo book and one of my
favourite shows. Ill take you to see it sometime. The tissues are in
the glove compartment. He added with a grin thrown in my direction
it gets me so I imagine itll probably do the same for you.
Hes right the wretch but I really enjoy listening to the
music. My mind plays with the thought that hell take me to see the
show one day and I try very hard not to read too much into that
with mixed success.
The traffic is reasonably okay but we hit a set of road works just
outside Wells which holds us up and it is nearly one thirty by the time
he pulls up outside Lizzie House.
Wait here, Jane. Ill go and tell them were here. I dont want
you hanging around in the cold. He said, but it seems that they have
been on the look out for us.
The front door opens and Tina comes rushing out before hes
halfway across the drive. Together they help me out of the car and
into the hall. Im stiff after the journey and incredibly tired.
Leaving me to Tinas ministrations, Giles goes out to unload the
car.
Bed, I think, Jane. She said shrewdly.
I dont have the energy to argue which probably says it all.
Can you manage the stairs or shall we use the lift?
Ill carry her up. Giles said, carrying a couple of bags into the
hall. Give me a moment to empty the car and then Ill take her up.
Tina sits me on a bench in the hall while he finishes unloading.
Im horribly aware that hes going to drive away soon I dont
know when I shall see him next it hurts more than I can say.
Upsy daisy. He said, picking me up and instructing me to put
my arms round his neck.

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He carries me up the stairs with Tina following closely just in

case, and to my disgust, I find I have tears running down my face.
Hey, you daft woman, theres no need for that.
Sorry. I muttered which makes him hold me even tighter.
He puts me down gently on the bed in my room, having refused
my suggestion that he should let me walk.
Jane, I shall be along to see you tomorrow night I expect you
to be a lot better by then. Understand? he said in his big brother
voice.
Yes, Giles, Ill do my best.
Good girl. He said kissing my cheek. Ive got to make
tracks. Look after her, Tina Ill just look in on Lizzie before I dash.
Tina efficiently helps me undress, talking about nothing in
particular, and gets me into bed.
Ill bring you up something to eat in a minute, Jane. I expect
Lizziell want to come and see you. Itll take her a while as the stair
lift doesnt come up to this floor and shell have to manage the stairs
but Ill help her.
Thanks, Tina. I said with a sigh, lying back against the
pillows.
When am I going to feel more like myself? oh Giles
Jane, darling. Thank goodness youre here now. Lizzie
fussed.
Tina helps me sit up so I can eat the soup shes brought up for
me. Its warming and Im ridiculously pleased that I can handle the
spoon myself now. Having Giles feeding me eggy soldiers was a
lesson and a half
Thank you for sending Giles down, Lizzie. I dont know what
Id have done without him. I said, between spoonfuls.
I didnt send him, Jane, he suggested it as soon as he heard.
She said, with that much discussed twinkle very evident as I digest
this information. In fact, he didnt so much suggest as tell me. Hes
been worried sick over the past few days, Jane. When he rang on
Saturday Tina had a job and a half reassuring him that just because
you were raving in delirium it didnt mean you were dying.

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Oh. I said, torn between gratification that hed been so

worried and concern that I might have said something I shouldnt
have whilst in that state that would be embarrassing.
When Ive finished my soup, Tina insists that Lizzie go back
downstairs, saying that I must get some sleep. She draws the curtains
slightly and leaves me ... as I drift off to sleep I can feel Giless arm
round me.
It is getting dark when I wake. Im surprised to see Jo sitting in
a chair by the window, reading by the light of the table lamp. As soon
as she realises Ive woken up, she goes to the door and calls Tina,
before coming back to say hello.
Youve been extremely silly, Jane! This flus a nasty one from
what Ive heard. Youre going to feel rough for a fair while, I should
think.
It hasnt been much fun, Jo. I admitted as Tina comes bustling
into the room enquiring if I want the loo. Yes, please, Tina.
With her assistance, I make it all the way down the hallway to
the bathroom. Im getting steadier on my feet but it is annoying how
my head swims.
What are you doing here, Jo? I asked when I get back to the
bedroom, then apologise for sounding so rude, which makes her
laugh.
Tina settles me in the other chair by the window, carefully
tucking me up in a blanket so I dont get cold.
Ive had a few days off work and when I heard you were
coming up today, I came over with Alastair to see if there was
anything I could do to help. Hes teaching downstairs at the moment.
Tina suggested sitting with you Lizzie has some students with her
this afternoon for a seminar of some sort. We feel it best that youre
not left on your own too much at present.
I do feel a fool, Jo. Ive never been ill before, not really ill, and
being this helpless is horrible.
Yes, it is. I was rather poorly after Ellie was born and I know
just what you mean. You think you should be able to do something
then when you try, not only is it impossible but you find you are
weeping all over the place into the bargain!
Thats it! Ive been crying all over Giles for days.

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Yes, that was rather interesting, wasnt it? she said wickedly,
He just saddled up his charger and dashed off to the rescue, without
even stopping long enough to polish his armour.
I giggle and her grin broadens
So much for the insoluble situation, eh, Jane? I hear Dan had a
pretty naff evening.
Oh dear, was it that bad? Maybe I ought to apologise to him ...
Dont do that, Jane. Its been very good for him. Hes now
wondering if perhaps a woman needs more than just the privilege of
his company to enjoy a good evening.
The door opens and Lizzie comes in accompanied by Tina.
That went well they seemed to like my comments. She said
satisfied with herself. Now how are you feeling, Jane?
I was just saying to Jo, how annoying it is being so feeble.
It will pass and is probably character building or something,
Jane. Now, Giles says that the doctor recommended you had a
holiday somewhere warmer than England. Didnt he mention it to
you? No? I wonder why. Oh well, youre not fit at the moment, but
by next week you should be. Im thinking that it would be fun if you,
Tina and I went somewhere what do you think? Is your passport
up to date?
That would be lovely, Lizzie, and yes, my passport is valid.
Where are you thinking of?
I dont know at the moment but Im working on it. Was that
the door? Thanks, Tina.
We hear Tina rush downstairs to the front door, returning with a
lively redhead in tow.
Jane! How nice to see you. Lizzie said Oh dear this is going
to be confusing! Jane Hammond meet Jane Mortimer. Jane, Jane is
the vicars wife.
Lizzie gives up as we greet each other.
I hear youve been pretty poorly, Jane. The vicars wife said
as she settles herself on the stool by the dressing table there being
no more chairs. Nasty strain of flu this one.
Yes, it appears to have knocked me for six. Im not enjoyi ng
the experience!

119

I shouldnt think you are! she retorted before turning to Lizzie

and asking how she is.
Lizzie explains that shes planning on taking me away
somewhere warmer to convalesce.
Have you heard from Simon and Anna, lately, Jane? Jo asked
Jane Hammond looks at her for a second before replying.
Yes, Jo, we had an e-mail from them today. Thats an idea,
Lizzie, what about Sorrento? Im sure Anna and Simon could
organise something for you and youll need some help with the
wheelchair and all that wherever you go.
What a brilliant idea! Lizzie exclaimed joyfully. Itd be
lovely to see Simon and Anna again as well.
I cast a quick glance at Jo and see her smiling to herself. Shes
one hell of an intelligent woman, that one she catches my eye and
winks at me. She quietly explains to me that Simon is the vicars
younger brother. Hes a writer and married to Anna who owns the
cottage Jo lives in it is all a little confusing and Im not sure Ive
fully understood the story but never mind, Ill catch up later. The
important thing is that they live just outside Sorrento now. Earlier in
the year, they came back for a month to visit family, and while they
were here they met Lizzie and really hit it off.
Ill e-mail them when I get home and see if they can arrange
suitable accommodation for the three of you, Lizzie. Jane said
efficiently. Ill ring you as soon as I get an answer, shall I?
Gathering herself together, she dashes off.
Shortly after, Alastair pops his head round the door to tell Jo
that hes finished and its time for them to collect Ellie from the
nursery.
Hi, Jane, sorry to hear that youve been in the wars. He said
sympathetically, But youll be all right now.
Tina insists that I go back to bed as soon as they have gone.
Lizzie sits thoughtfully while this is achieved.
Sorrento would be nice. Do you know that part of the world,
Jane?
No. Its somewhere near Capri isnt it?

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Yes, thats right Vesuvius, Naples, Pompeii - that area. It

wont be desperately hot but better than here. All right, Tina, stop
nagging, Ill leave Jane to rest now.
The next morning, I wake up feeling a lot more myself.
What day is it?
Thursday it is so easy to lose track of the days and it makes
me feel less in limbo if I can at least pin a name to the day.
Tina brings me breakfast and, after watching me demolish it,
agrees that I can get up and go to sit in the Pink Room with Lizzie for
a few hours.
Before that, however, we have a very satisfying session in the
bathroom with her washing my hair. Oh it feels so good having it
clean again! I manage to walk to the Pink Room virtually unaided,
and am ridiculously pleased with myself about it.
A little voice in the back of my head, keeps reminding me that
Giles said he would come over tonight I keep finding that I turn
round to say something to him and it is disconcerting that he is not
there
Lizzie and I spend the morning looking up information about the
Sorrento area in some of the books she has just lying about. It
seems that Anna and Simon are delighted at the thought of having us
to stay in the area and are looking for an appropriate hotel. Lizzie
spent half an hour on the phone to Simon in Italy no less
Oh dont fuss, Jane. We were discussing what the options are.
Lizzie said when I protested at the expense.
I havent said anything but, frankly, the thought of the
travelling scares the daylights out of me.
You must see something of Pompeii when we are there, Jane.
Lizzie announced at one point, screwing up her face like a small child
when Tina reminds her that I am suppose to be going there to recover
from flu not to go gallivanting about Roman ruins.
I am persuaded that going back to bed after lunch is a good
idea Tinas a real dragon at times. Once in bed, I drift off to sleep
without any trouble, so shes probably right.
I wake to the sound of raised voices, someones left my
bedroom door ajar Im completely confused for a moment not
entirely sure where I am, Ive woken out of a deep sleep so abruptly.

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Bedroom at Lizzies - I conclude after a moments thought. Home

well, almost.
A loo stop is required and I am inordinately proud of the fact
that I not only manage to don my dressing gown unaided, but also
navigate my way out of the bedroom without falling over.
The voices are louder in the hall. Shit! I grab the banister as
my head spins so much for self-sufficiency I stand above the
stairwell outside my room for a moment waiting for the world to stop
going round. Without intending to, I overhear what is being said, or
rather shouted, in the Pink Room on the floor below.
. must tell her, Lizzie. I had Giles ranting all over my study
last night demanding to know if he was about to inadverte ntly commit
incest. If hes worked it out, then others will too and she ought to
know.
Thats Joseph Brewster yelling, isnt it whats that hes
saying? It doesnt make any sense.
I slowly make my way to the bathroom and back to the bedroom
again, and am just settled down to continuing the book which Giles
has lent me about the witches when I hear someone coming up the
stairs.
The door opens and Lizzie comes in, aided by Joseph I was
right, it was his voice I heard.
Oh good, youre awake, Jane. Lizzie said with a glance at
Joseph behind her his expression reminds me of Giles Ive seen
that look on his face too.
Lizzie is looking old and worried whatever can have caused
that?
Hello, Jane, glad to see that youre a lot better that boy of
mine has some uses! Joseph commented.
He settles Lizzie in a chair and then comes over to kiss me on
the cheek.
He was brilliant. I replied enjoying the look of pride which
sweeps over his face and recognising the similarities between father
and son yet again.
Jane, Lizzie said slowly, glancing at Joseph again. Theres
something you ought to know.

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She pauses as though stuck for words thats not like Lizzie

You know everyone comments on how like me you are? Well,

theres a very good reason for that. She said baldly.
She stops and, as Joseph puts his hand on her shoulder,
encouraging her to go on, I get a sudden blast of intuition and realise
what she is going to say. Giles said they were really close friends
Oh, dear God, not that!
Suddenly the words I overheard make sense please, not that
but Lizzie is going on.
Jane, back in the sixties, I was working in a touring company
and got involved with one of the other actors. He was married. When
I I found I was pregnant I left the company - it was an accident and
I never told him. There was never any question of us getting together.
I didnt know which way to turn.
She looks across at me before going on.
The early sixties wasnt as wild and free as people think it was
and abortion was out of the question as far as I was concerned.
Josephs always been my closest friend and in desperation I rang him.
To cut a long story short, he and Ann took me in Giles was about
nine months old by this time. He and Ann were very kind and looked
after me. Ironically, my baby was born on Giles first birthday. Im
not your aunt, Jane.
Ive worked this out by now the overwhelming relief at
discovering that Joseph is not my father, covering any shock this
news might have caused.
My family well, you know them. They were appalled and at
first refused to have anything to do with me, it was impossible that I
should keep you myself - people just didnt do that sort of thing then.
She sighed deeply.
Your mother well, shes not but well, shed recently
miscarried for the fourth time and when it was suggested that they
might give a home to you, she leapt at it. Joseph brokered the whole
arrangement, trying to ensure that I would have some access to you
but they insisted that if they took you in, it was on the basis that I
would never interfere or have anything to do with you in their
lifetime.

123

There are tears running down her face by now amazingly, she
has herself in hand.
I didnt want to have to tell you, Jane you must hate me for
having deserted you and I dont blame you one little bit. When I
think that they stopped you doing so much purely so that you
wouldnt turn out like me she stops and fumbles for a hankie
Joseph hands her one again reminding me of his son, oh
Giles
Lizzie, of course, I dont hate you. I said as she blows her
noise hard.
Joseph smiles at me approvingly over Lizzies head,
You did what you felt was best at the time we can none of us
do more than that. It must have been a dreadful time for you I
know what its like to feel all alone and I havent been in your
position.
I pause for a moment trying to imagine what it must have been
like for her this bout of flu has been bad enough, but pregnancy! I
shudder at the thought.
As for the rest, I wasnt unhappy, Lizzie, okay, so things could
have been different but they werent and I dont feel any less because
of it. Were together now you could have walked away completely,
nobody made you come to find me.
Oh Jane!
In a way, it all makes sense now. Little things dad said which
Ive never understood Mums attitude during those last months
I look across the room Lizzie my mother?
Lizzie, if nothing else, you gave mum the child she couldnt
have. It made a difference to them. And now youre making a
difference to me.
The little voice in the back of my head which seems to work
independently of any other part of my brain suddenly throws up the
reason why Giles had looked so desperate over the last couple of days
something of this must have showed in my face.
What is it, Jane? Joseph asked.
Oh nothing, I lied realising the full import of what I had
overheard.

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If Giles was worried that he might that means he .. I

swallow hard, trying hard not to grin madly.
Do you really not mind, Jane? Lizzie said tremulously,
bringing me back to earth fairly effectively, I have so often regretted
signing that agreement and when you came here and we got on so
wonderfully, it was unbelievable. Losing you now would be hard.
It really isnt important, Lizzie, the fact is that were here
together now.
Tina rushes into the room looking from me to Lizzie and back
again, her hands on her hips.
Honestly, what am I to do with the pair of you! Lizzie you
should know better than to come in here upsetting Jane and as for you,
Joseph!
Janes my daughter, Tina I had to tell her. Lizzie said
dramatically.
Tina cuts her short.
Oh what a surprise! As if I hadnt worked that one out weeks
ago. Thespians! Now Lizzie, if youre intending to entertain guests
for dinner tonight, you must go and lie down NOW. Joseph, you can
stay and talk to Jane for a while if you like, Im going to bring her a
drink shortly. Jane, just lie there quietly, will you, or else well have
you relapsing and then goodness knows what Giles will say to me.
We all fall under her command. She efficiently leads Lizzie out
of the room and down the stairs again.
I wouldnt want to get on the wrong side of that woman, Jane.
Joseph commented coming over and sitting on the bed much as his
son had down in Taunton.
Damn! Cant I get that man out of my head for even five
minutes!
It was my idea that she should tell you, Jane. I hope it hasnt
upset you. He sounds concerned and fussily fidgets with the duvet.
No, not at all, Joseph, I overheard a little of what you said to
Lizzie before you came in here, so it was not totally unexpected.
More a relief to be honest.
The man is far from stupid, and the look he gives me clearly
says that he understands which makes me blush. He smiles.

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Giless conclusion, erroneous as it is, was not as irrational as it

seems, Jane, Lizzie and I could very well have become lovers several
times, we just didnt. I know some people thought we had, but even
when Ann died and we could have married, it didnt seem right. In a
way, Im glad that its all worked out the way it has best of both
worlds so to speak. My sister, Joan, would like to meet you, by the
way. She doesnt come over here very often not at all into the arts,
is Joan more the jolly hockey stick variety of woman.
Id be delighted to meet her. Ive heard a fair bit about her over
the past few days.
Oh? Giles is very attached to her, of course, but youve
probably worked that out. She was very good to him when his mother
died.
So I understand. I said with a smile.
Oh you are so like your mother, Jane!
That makes me chuckle.
Anyway, Ill get goodness knows how much flack from Tina if
I dont stop getting you excited. Yes, I can hear her coming along
now. Just lie back and look relaxed, will you?
Naturally, that makes me giggle even more and earns Joseph a
stern look from Tina as she comes into the room. She actually has a
thermometer in her hand and insists on taking my temperature,
counting my pulse while she does it.
A little higher than I would like, but not surprising under the
circumstances, I suppose.
I dont like to tell her that the thought of seeing Giles is having a
dreadful effect on my pulse rate.
Please say I can get up for dinner, Tina and get dressed as
well?
She looks at me assessing the situation I get the feeling that
she knows exactly what is going through my mind.
All right. But youre not staying up late. And you neednt look
so damned pleased about it either, Jane! If you lie here quietly for
another hour, Ill come and help you dress. Joseph, I know youre
here for dinner but youll just have to go and wait somewhere else, I
want Jane to rest and if you are around that is extremely unlikely to
happen.

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13.

GILES & JANE COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING

I truly am feeling a lot better, Tina. I said when she came to

help me dress.
Good. Lets keep it that way.
I had been mentally going through the wardrobe for the past half
hour trying to work out what to wear, concluding that the most
suitable outfit would be the almost mediaeval style dress in green
wool which Lizzie had given me when I first came here. Not only
does it look good on me, but it would be easy to get into with a zip
down the back. Thank goodness my hair is clean.
Tina approves my choice and helps me get dressed. Why
pulling on a pair of knickers should wear me out is beyond reason!
Ive lost weight as well.
Id go easy on the alcohol, if I were you, Jane. Your system is
so battered at the moment, even half a glass could knock you
sideways. A glass with your meal would be okay but not before or
you could well be drunk before you get to the table. It could take up
to a month before you are totally back to normal, you know. The sort
of fever you were running is very debilitating. We tend to forget that
in this day and age. But the more you rest the sooner youll recover.
Im sitting at the dressing table while she brushes my hair I
feel like some aristocratic lady in a novel being waited on by her maid
... its very silly.
By the way, Giles is downstairs. She commented idly,
watching my face and clearly enjoying my reaction.
Tina! You should have told me.
She merely laughs and comments that its good for a man to be
kept waiting every now and then. I wait impatiently until she is
finished with my hair.
Standing outside the dining room door Im breathless and not
entirely because of the apparent marathon it has been fro m my
bedroom to this door. Tina let me walk on my own, walking beside
me just in case I wobbled too much. Holding my head high and very
aware that my heart is pounding, I open the door and walk in.

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Lizzie is over by the fireplace with Joseph and Giles , who has
his back to me. Seeing the look of admiration in his fathers eyes, he
turns and rushes over to where I am swaying slightly.
You daft woman, why didnt you let me know, Id have come
to fetch you! he said in exasperation.
Because Im an independent, stubborn woman who likes to do
things on my own, sometimes.
I am so absurdly pleased to see him.
What am I going to do with you? he said, taking my arm and
leading me over to a chair by the fire.
I could come up with a couple of ideas. I said for his ears only
as he sits me down
Im delighted to see him flush. I know Im being outrageous but
the knowledge that he cares for me has gone completely to my head
blow alcohol!
You look charming, Jane.
Said the elder Brewster
appreciating his sons discomfort. Mind you, you looked charming
sitting in bed this afternoon.
Entertaining gentlemen in the bedchamber, eh? Giles said
with a quizzical look at me. A bad habit to get into.
So I believe. Nearly as bad as the bathroom. I replied
smoothly with an innocent air, enjoying the amused look I can see in
his eyes.
Touch! Do you want a drink, Jane.
I decline, bearing Tinas advice in mind. I watch him as he goes
over to pour himself another glass of sherry, just enjoying him being
here.
Over dinner, Lizzie introduces the idea of going to Sorrento.
Joseph thinks it is a wonderful idea; Giles is less enthusiastic and,
when it is first mentioned, actually freezes in the act of carrying a
forkful of food to his mouth.
I think you met Anna and Simon when they were here, didnt
you, Giles. Lizzie asked, a little frown on her face as she tries to
remember.
Yes, very nice people. Anna used to work for one of the local
legal men oh whats his name? Blackford Gary Blackford.

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You know him, Dad, Tempests tried to headhunt him a few years ago
but he refused to go. Clive, their senior partner, was livid.
Oh yes, but Clive has a rather elevated view of his firms
standing in the world. Joseph replied after a moments thought.
Blackfords a very sound man, I believe.
Simons related to Peter Hammond isnt he? Giles went on
Thats right younger brother. Lizzie confirmed, pleased that
he remembered them. Theyre going to find us somewhere to stay
over there. Having them there will be a great relief too its always
nice having someone you know.
How long are you going for, Lizzie? Giles asked his eyes on
me.
I suddenly realise why he is not enthusiastic about the trip it
makes my heart beat rather fast
Only a week, Giles. You could come too if you wanted to.
She replied with a glance at Joseph who suppresses a smile and
concentrates on his plate.
Thats impossible, Lizzie, Ive got a couple of big projects
which are due to come to crisis point in the next few weeks. I cant
possibly take time away from the office. When do you expect to go?
Giles sounds frustrated.
Probably early next week Tuesday or Wednesday I hope. I
think Jane will be fit enough by then.
Lizzie, I just thought, Ill need my passport its still at the
flat.
Giles smiled, No, it isnt. I found it when I was packing and
thought it unsafe to leave it lying around just in case you get burgled
I put it in your handbag.
You angel!
I have my uses.
We smile at each other across the table.
Lizzie, these two are driving me crackers! Joseph barked.
Both Giles and I look up, startled.
You mean they remind you of us when we were younger,
Joseph. Lizzie replied in her most innocent of voices.
We were never . well. he grinds to a halt as she mouths
the word Cheltenham at him.

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You were saying, Dad? Giles enquired with a completely

straight face, while I dissolve in giggles wondering what could have
happened in Cheltenham.
By the time we get to coffee, I am feeling rather weary and my
head is starting to ache. Its been a busy day what with one thing and
another.
Jane, youll drop in your tracks if you stay up any longer bed,
madame! Giles said in his big brother voice.
Im too tired to argue, which fact does not escape him.
Lizzie, if you dont mind, Ill see your daughter to her room I
think she may fall over if she tries to do it on her own.
Oh Jane, has it been too much? Lizzie asked as I kiss her
cheek and wish her goodnight.
No, Im just tired, thats all. Goodnight Joseph.
Giles takes my arm and I lean gratefully on him as we walk out
of the room.
Yes, I know you feel a complete fool but you are looking so
much better, Jane.
Thank you. Right this minute I could fall into bed and sleep for
a year ... at least that is what it feels like.
Id recommend getting the dress off first, if I were you. He
said putting his arm round my waist to steady me as I wobble rather
precariously. Jane, can you manage or should I call Tina?
Is this the man who insisted on helping me out of the bath ?
I said almost to myself
Jane, that was different and you know it.
Lizzie told me how when youve played a wife or husband
opposite someone on stage it is virtuall y impossible to go back to
normal social distance afterwards I know the circumstances are
different but I cant pretend the last few days didnt happen.
No, neither can I. Oh, Jane, you annoying woman, Ive missed
you.
He pulls me into his arms and we just stand there in the hallway
outside my room, clinging to each other.
I went to sleep on your shoulder last night. I confessed and he
laughs quietly.
Come on then, lets get you to bed. He said, opening the door.

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He helps me out of my dress and hands me my nightie heres

nothing seductive about it, were just together. He steadies me while I
remove my undies underneath the nightdress and then draws back the
bedclothes, so I can get into bed. When hes straightened the duvet,
he sits on the edge of the bed precisely where his father sat earlier in
the afternoon.
Jane, when youre fit and well, you and I need to do some
important talking. He said seriously its just as well that I am lying
down, the way hes looking at me is enough to knock my legs from
under me even if I were feeling 100%!
Understood.
But in the meantime, will you come with me to the local Law
Society Christmas Dinner Dance on the 13 th of December?
The unexpectedness of this invitation makes me blink slightly,
but I quickly recover.
Id love to, Giles. Giles, Im sorry I was so horrid to you the
other week.
What? Oh that. Forget it. What was it all about anyway?
I saw you at Temple Meads station with Sarah, only I didnt
know thats who it was.
He wrinkles his brow trying to work out what Im talking about.
She gave me a hug and a kiss before getting on the train, didnt
she? he said as light dawns. Oh Jane, you daft woman.!
Youd talked so much about being the big brother Id always
wanted and .
you thought I meant it. He finished for me and then laughs.
Poor old Dan!
I focus my eyes on the duvet cover.
Get better soon, Jane.
He hesitates, then leans over and very gently kisses me.
Sleep well, my lady.
He turns off the light as he leaves the room.
I just lie here feeling the touch of his lips on mine.

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14.

JANE MEETS AUNT JOAN

Friday morning I feel like death warmed up.

My spirit is singing but my body is decidedly unwilling to play.
Tina is philosophical, muttering things about overdoing it, and
when she tells me to say in bed all day, I dont fight but just doze,
dreaming about Giles. Lizzie comes in for an hour or so in the
afternoon but Im sleepy so she leaves me to it.
By the evening, Im slightly more with it and Tina allows me to
get out of bed for a couple of hours after dinner, insisting all the same
that I stay in my room and keep warm. I sit near the window by the
drawn curtains, well wrapped up in my dressing gown and with a rug
over my knees reading the book Ive borrowed from Giles.
Lizzies gone out somewhere ... they did tell me where but I
cant remember. The house is quiet but I dont feel lonely or in any
way bothered. Part of me aches to see Giles but I know I shall see
him sometime and am not worrying about it.
I cant concentrate on the book.
I end up just sitting staring into space and thinking. Ive done a
lot of adjusting in the last twenty-four hours. Not only with regard to
Giles but concerning who I am. Im no longer the person Ive always
thought I was. My aunt is my mother and the people I have always
thought of as my father and mother are my uncle and aunt odd that
it should make more sense that way. I feel closer to Lizzie after a
month than I ever did to my parents after forty odd years.
Lying in bed this morning in between thinking about Giles
it occurred to me that I should be disorientated or, at the very least,
upset but Im not. Everything seems logical sensible almost
maybe the flu has had a greater impact than I thought. Looking back
over the past few weeks, I have to say that I relate to Lizzie in a way I
never did to the person I thought of as my mother.
Poor old mum shell always be that to me. Looking at her
from my standpoint of middle age and experience, very much the age
she was when I was born - I can understand a little how she must have
felt when she took me in. Here was the baby she couldnt have
herself agreed my provenance was suspect according to her lights,

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but if you believed in the nurture rather than nature argument, as was
frequently the case then, that wouldnt have been a problem.
It must have been a shock when they realised that I look like
Lizzie.
They did bring me up properly I was never ill treated, never
bullied and, except where performing and theatre was concerned,
allowed to do pretty much what I liked. They taught me so much
about how to behave a lot of who I am today is through them. I
hope they felt it was worth it did I turn into the daughter they hoped
Id be?
The tragedy is that I dont know.
Those last months with mum I cudgel my memories of that
time for any word that she might have said which would suggest some
sort of parental pride. I cant recall anything. Does that mean that I
was a disappointment? Oh, I dont know and now I never shall.
Lizzies proud of me thats crystal clear.
I wonder what life would have been like with her. Probably not
terribly stable I wouldnt be the person I am now, thats pretty
certain. Funny how life goes sometimes. One action leads to another
and before you know where you are, youre million miles away from
where you started.
And where do I go from here? My life in Taunton seems so
very far away now. Home is here thats plain.
And Giles where does he fit in?
I wonder what he meant by important talk. Weve got a
strange relationship, if I can call it that; he doesnt play games. Oh
yes, we flirt and joust with each other, but hes never made what I
would call a serious pass at me, never tried it on and goodness knows
there have been opportunities. Last night for a start how many men
would have passed up a chance like that. Not that I really wanted him
to
Im crazy about him, thats obvious to the whole world by
the look of it I ache if Im not with him, but we dont have to be
doing anything special ... just being together gives me a buzz.
Theres a tap at the door,
Come in.
My heart leaps as I see Giles framed in the doorway.

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I wont stay long, Tina says youve had a bad day. He said
coming over, kissing me on the cheek and sitting down on the chair
beside mine, but I just wanted to see you.
Im glad you came. I was just thinking about you.
Oh? Something nice I hope?
How was your day? I asked, unable to answer that with
anything remotely sensible, Is your secretary still looking hunted?
No, after having to cope while I was in Taunton, shes
incredibly relieved to have me back in the office. I gather she had a
difficult time with one or two awkward clients. Weve been busy
today. Didnt finish until late Ive come straight from the office.
But its nearly eight have you eaten anything?
No wonder he looks tired.
I had a biggish lunch and Ill get something when I get home.
Oh, Giles! he smiles at me, reaches across and takes my hand,
raising it to his lips and kissing it.
What was that for? I asked, every nerve in my body tingling.
Gratitude at your concern for my welfare, my lady. Do you
think you will be fit enough for visitors tomorrow? he asked
changing the subject.
I hope so, why?
Aunt Joans pestering to meet you. I dont know what Dads
said to her but she phoned me at work about it and for Aunt Joan to
ring me at the office the world must be about to end! She suggested I
bring her out here sometime tomorrow. Ive told her I cant do it on
Sunday.
Im irrationally disappointed that hes going to be busy on
Sunday, a fact which he picks up on.
I can hardly tell her that Im hoping to take you over to my
place on Sunday, can I? he said, watching my face and patently
satisfied with the result his comment achieves.
Are you?
Mmmm. Two reasons really, one youve never been there
and two getting time with you without half the world being in
attendance is proving impossible here I got used to having you to
myself down in Taunton.

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Then Id better be well enough to see your aunt tomorrow

hadnt I? Otherwise, I wont get a pass out on Sunday. I dont know
what Lizzies got on here over the weekend do you?
No, but whatever it is, well fit in. Aunt Joan gets on okay with
Lizzie, theyve just got nothing much in common bar a mutual respect
for each other. Oh and Dad of course.
I like your Dad.
He likes you too told me on the way home last night that if he
were a few years younger, Id find myself out of the running. He and
Lizzie are a right pair, arent they? Ive often wondered if they were
ever lovers. Is that a strange thing to wonder about ones Father?
I think you see him more as a fellow adult than a parent, Giles,
and on that basis no, its not odd. But he told me yesterday that they
were never lovers.
Did he? he said with a surprised look. How on earth did that
come up in the conversation?
Well, it was after Lizzies great confession Tina came in and
dragged Lizzie off to her room for a rest and told your father to sit
quietly and talk to me.
I still dont see how that could have come up though. He said
puzzled he glances across at me. Come on, Jane, theres something
youre not telling me.
Well, I accidentally overheard something he shouted at Lizzie
when he was trying to talk her into revealing all. It was something
about you rampaging around his study on Wednesday night .. .
I wait to see if that is sufficient to do the trick judging by the
red wave sweeping up his neck, it apparently is.
Ah. I see.
Your father said that your conclusion was logical if erroneous
and I quote.
not to mention letting a lot of felines out of receptacles in the
process.
You mean to tell me that you normally drive fifty miles to look
after sick women you hardly know unless you are reasonably fond of
them?

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Oh, all the time, you dont know the half of it, Jane. He
confessed with a dramatic sigh But I do dispute the reasonably
fond, utterly besotted with would be more accurate.
Oh
Honestly, what are modern women like! You tell a woman that
youre crazy about her and what does she say? Oh!
Giles, when my pulse rate has slowed sufficiently to allow me
to think even half straight, Ill doubtless be able to produce something
a little more intelligent but at the moment, youll have to make do
with oh. I replied, desperately trying not to weep out of sheer joy.
Jane, you daft woman, have my hankie its a clean one. I was
properly brought up, you see. He said coming over and hunkering
down by my chair. I didnt mean to make you cry.
Oh, Giles! I said damply, throwing my arms round his neck
and nearly knocking him over in the process.
He keeps his balance and holds me tight.
You know, contrary to the evidence to date, I have definite
carnal ambitions where you are concerned just in case you had any
doubts on that score. He whispered, making me giggle.
Im relieved to hear that. I replied, as he stands up and pulls
me to my feet in the process.
Good. Glad weve got that straight. He said, kissing me as if
to prove his point.
Predictably, we hear the door open behind us.
What did I say earlier on? he said wryly.
Youve had your time, Giles. Bedtime, Jane. Tina said,
ignoring the fact that she has interrupted us mid-clinch.
Ill just pop down to the bathroom, Tina dont go Giles. I
said making my way across the carpet to the door.
As Im cleaning my teeth, I notice the stars in my eyes
Ridiculous!
and I daresay I have put her to bed more times than you
have, Tina. Giles is arguing as I walk back into the room.
Tina is laughing at him.
Jane, this lunatic insists on tucking you in wed better humour
him, I suppose.

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She watches, arms akimbo, as Giles helps me out of my dressing

gown and into bed. He tucks me in and kisses me goodnight as he
had last night.
Its mutual, Giles. I replied, holding onto the lapels of his
jacket for a second and looking straight into his eyes All of it.
Now that is what I call expedient. He said with a smile, Sleep
well, my lady. Ill see you tomorrow afternoon.
After Tina has turned out the light and closed the door, I lie in
bed thinking about this evening
I will be well enough on Sunday come hell or high water!
It may have been a result of the practical thought or the day
spent resting but on Saturday I am vastly better noticeably so.
Tinas pleased and, although she insists that I stay in bed until eleven,
Im then allowed up to have a bath and by lunchtime am dressed. The
bathing and dressing process hasnt wiped me out nearly as much I
must be recovering. It seems like years since I was normal.
Lizzie and I have lunch together as she tells me about her
evening she went to a play which some of her students were
putting on at the Octagon, a tiny theatre somewhere in town. She tries
to get along to see all their productions. It was performed in the
round and I am ashamed to say that Lizzie has to explain just what
that means. Ive been to the theatre a few times but never to anything
unconventional.
So the audience sit all around the outside of the performance
space. I repeated, picking up the terminology she has been using.
Doesnt that make for problems on a normal stage you have
scenery and entrances and stuff dont you? How do you do that in the
round?
Very good question, Jane. Generally, theres less scenery and
no backdrop, though last night they used the blank walls behind the
audience to project moving pictures onto. It was an interesting way of
setting the scene, gave you the feeling you were caught up in the
action. As for entrances, they have to use the aisles between the
chunks of seating or else have to be on stage before the performance
starts. It takes a lot of organisation in some venues.
Doesnt it make it more difficult for the cast, though? Theres
no front to the stage.

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What happens, Jane, is that they generally play to the other cast
members sometimes with their back to the audience, or sections of it
at any rate, but a good director will make it work.
But dont they play to the other cast members on an ordinary
stage?
Not always, youd be surprised how often you have a
conversation with someone you are standing beside and not looking at
all the audience swear that you are, but its an illusion. Its harder
to project your voice if youre not facing front. In real life you rarely
hold a conversation with someone standing behind you, but on stage it
happens all the time and looks normal.
Ill have to look out for that. Oh, did Tina tell you that Giles is
bringing his aunt over this afternoon?
Yes, Jane. She mentioned that he came over last night.
The twinkle tells me that Tina told her a lot more than that oh
well.
Joseph said he thought Joan would want to meet you pretty
soon.
Lizzie, Im probably being paranoid, but is it so terribly
obvious to everyone?
What? That you and Giles are crazy about each other? I
wouldnt say everyone, Jane, but to those who know the pair of you it
is very apparent. Is it official now?
I suppose so. Weve at least admitted it to each other now.
Hes a complete nutter, Lizzie.
Just like his father! But thats part of their charm, wouldnt
you agree?
We look at each other like two teenage conspirators and laugh.
Naturally, it is at that moment that the door opens to admit Giles and
an upright, sensibly dressed lady in her sixties, I would guess.
Lizzie and I look at each other and just explode.
Sorry, Aunt Joan, I forgot to mention that Jane is totally
cracked. Giles said conversationally as they cross the room towards
where we are sitting,
Giles, if shes in love with you, she would have to be.
The lady in question replied prosaically, leaving him gasping.

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Lizzie, you look well. And this must be Jane. She said as I
stand to shake hands with her. They told me you were like Lizzie but
didnt mention that you were the spitting image, child. But sit down,
I hear you have been extremely ill.
Yes, Ive had the flu bug thats going around it was rather
unpleasant but I think Im over the worst now.
Joan, do sit down its lovely to see you. Giles, could you ask
Tina to bring tea, please? Lizzie said, taking control as I seat myself
again.
I have been told several times how different Lizzie and Joan are,
but my initial impression is how alike they are. Their interests may
be at opposing ends of the spectrum, but their approach is very similar
- both are formidable ladies of good humour.
I hear that you are going to take Jane abroad for some sun,
Lizzie, sounds eminently sensible. Which part of Italy are you going
to?
Lizzie explains about Anna and Simon and by the time they
have explored that subject, Giles has returned with Tina and the tea
tray. As he passes behind me, he runs his hand along my shoulder,
and my stomach turns somersaults.
Giles, behave yourself! Aunt Joan commanded, and I cannot
repress a smile. Dont encourage him, Jane. Hes bad enough as it
is!
But shes not fooling me she dotes on him.
Between them, Lizzie and Joan reduce Giles and I to the status
of nursery. It is highly amusing and I can see that Giles is equally
entertained by it.
Are you feeling better today? He asked me while the ladies are
busy discussing the problems of getting a good builder these days
Joan needs a fireplace boarded up it seems.
Yes, miles better thanks. Probably due to the dose of medicine
I received yesterday evening. I commented conversationally, gazing
idly out of the window in front of me.
Well have to see about getting you a regular supply then. He
replied, equally straight faced.
That would be nice. I answered, swallowing hard at the
thought.

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I daresay we could find an appropriate supplier tomorrow

afternoon.
He sits there so completely relaxed is his pulse racing as much
as mine?
So what do you do for a living, Jane? Joan asked.
I try to drag my thoughts into some coherent order, aware that
Giles is entirely failing to stifle a chuckle on my left.
Im secretary to the financial director of a firm in Taunton. I
said, suppressing a desire to kick him on the shins, and go on to
explain what we sell and how the firm operates.
Interesting. They must be missing you at the moment.
Yes, but even Im realising that Im not fit for work at the
moment. I can barely manage getting dressed in the mornings without
being exhausted. Its most frustrating.
I imagine so. I remember when Giles was a teenager, he had a
nasty bout of flu and was laid up for weeks. Oh stop squirming,
Giles! I havent got the baby photos out yet! she said with a smile
suddenly I see yet another family likeness.
It is a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon and, when Joan declares
that its time for them to leave, Im sorry and not only because Giles
is going.
Lizzie, I want to take Jane over to my place tomorrow is it all
right if I pick her up about 2.30 tomorrow. He said quickly, while
Joan goes to get her coat.
Thats fine, Giles. Will you give her dinner in the evening or
do you want to come back here?
Ill deal with dinner, Lizzie. I wont keep her out late. I
promise.
Ill see you tomorrow then, my lady. He said giving me a
quick hug and going to join his aunt.
So what do you think of Joan then, Jane? Lizzie asked when
theyd gone.
I like her. Shes ever so like her brother isnt she?
I dare not say that I think she and Lizzie are alike.
Yes, theres a strong family likeness through the whole lot,
except Sarah who is Ann all over again.
Are the twins like Joseph and Giles then?

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Yes and no. You can see they belong to the same family but
theres a touch of their mother as well. When you meet them youll
see. They usually come back for Christmas.
Whats Giless house like, Lizzie? All I know is that it is
somewhere between here and Bristol.
Ivy Lodge? Its a nice little house. Regency, I believe. Set
between Keynsham and Whitchurch a pretty little place called
Queen Charlton though theres very little there except a scattering of
dwellings and a couple of farms.
Hes very successful, isnt he, I mean career wise.
Yes, but thats his father coming out in him Joseph built the
firm out of nothing. He didnt have the money, Toms put that up, but
Joseph used it to make the firm what it is. Giles is continuing the
work and diversifying you know hes the managing partner, dont
you? He runs the whole show.
No, I didnt know that. Lizzie, hes asked me to accompany
him to the Law Society Christmas dinner dance Ill need something
to wear
Oh yes thats a big do, youll need full formal evening wear
for that when is it?
The 13 th December its a Friday, I looked.
Well, weve got time to go shopping at any rate. Though I
might have something suitable in the wardrobe, if you dont mind
second hand.
Lizzie, theres second hand and theres being lent by a loved
relation work it out! If youve got something suitable, Id be
delighted to borrow it.
Well have a look when we come back from Italy, Jane. Im
more concerned at the moment that youre going to be fit enough to
fly were looking at travelling on Tuesday. I know youre a lot
better than you were, but are you going to be well enough by then?
Tina was saying that she thought Id get better a lot faster now.
She wouldnt let you go planning for Tuesday unless she thought I
would be fit, would she?
I suppose not. Well we aim for that. I understand that Simon
has found a suitable hotel for us bed and breakfast with an option on

141

evening meal and good wheelchair access. It sounds perfect. Youll

like Anna, you know.

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15.

JANE VISITS IVY LODGE

Sunday morning, I am definitely less wobbly. Its such a relief.

Lizzie and Tina go off to church, leaving me in the Pink Room
enjoying the winter sun which is flooding through the window this
morning. Ive nearly finished Giless book and am hoping to be able
to take it back with me this afternoon . and maybe borrow another
one. He said he had several of these books and they are perfect
convalescent reading.
We have a light lunch at 12.30. Tina insists that I go and lie
down for a while afterwards. To my surprise, I doze off, to be woken
by Giles sitting on the bed and lightly kissing me.
Now I know how the sleeping beauty would have felt. I said,
putting my arms round his neck and showing him just how pleased I
am to see him.
Put me down, woman! he said with a smile, Lets escape
before someone stops us.
Its the first time Ive been out for days, well, since he brought
me here actually. The sun is still visible but its starting to hang low
in the sky well, its nearly the end of November. On the way, Giles
tells me how much his Aunt enjoyed the visit yesterday. It seems I
made a positive impression.
I like her, Giles. She and Lizzie are very alike, arent they?
You saw that, did you? Yes, but for goodness sake dont tell
either of them!
After about twenty minutes of driving, mostly down country
lanes, he pulls into a small driveway, gravelled and edged by high
laurel hedges shielding the house from the view of the road. He parks
outside a solid looking house in Bath stone. Its in the shape of an L
with the front door hiding in the angle of the L.
Welcome to Ivy Lodge. Giles said, as he opens the front door
and stands back to let me in.
He takes my hand as I look round the hall. Its very much a
mans house though I cant put my finger on why. Its nice and
warm both in temperature and design. Theres a lot of polished
wood.

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How long have you lived here? I asked as he shows me round

the ground floor : a lounge, a panelled dining room and a study
complete with proper desk oh, yes, very much a mans house.
Ten years or thereabouts. I found it just after the divorce - it
was a bit of a wreck when I bought it but I wanted something to take
up my time and its only in the last couple of years that I can honestly
say its finished. It has been work in progress for most of that time.
Did you do it all yourself?
Most of it. Not the electrics, and I had to get professionals in
occasionally for the roof for example, but the rest of it I did myself
thats why it took so long. Do you like it?
Very much it has style, yet is homely too. The study is very
you.
Why do you say that?
It has Giles Brewster written all over it! I cant quite put my
finger on why it is, but it is so very definitely your room I can almost
see the signature.
Really? he said, looking round trying to see why I should say
this. What do you mean?
I cant explain, it just that if you were a room, youd look like
this. Oh, I know it sounds daft. Hey, what does the W stand for?
What W? he asked more perplexed than ever.
The one between the G and B in your reference, Mr Brewster.
Oh that one. William, why?
Oh just curiosity. Ive been meaning to ask you for ages. I
looked you up on the internet the photos a good one.
Thank you kindly, Miss Mortimer. And do you have a middle
name?
Yes, and its only just dawned on me why its what it is.
Let me guess Elizabeth? he said and I nod. JEM I like
that. Do you know who named you? Was it Lizzie?
I have no idea Ill have to ask her. What a lovely view you
have from here. I said, walking over to the window which looks out
onto the back garden of the house.
Not as good as the view I currently have. He said looking me
and making my stomach go into free fall as he does. May I offer
you some refreshment, my lady?

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Thank you, that would be delightful.

He takes my hand again, and leads me into the kitchen which, to
my surprise, is a modern room which would not be out of place in a
new, up to the minute apartment somewhere in the city.
Of course. I said as I admire the steel hob.
Of course? What are you talking about? he asked as he filled
the kettle for tea.
The modern kitchen your practical streak. Oh Giles, this
house is so very you. What are you laughing at?
Sarah said the same thing when she saw it the other week you
must met her, Jane. Its a little frightening that I have apparently
exposed myself so much.
I walk over to where hes leaning on the work surface and put
my arms round him, kissing the end of his nose. He reciprocates by
holding me tightly and kissing me. We come back to earth when we
realise that the kettle is boiling itself silly.
I must get a new kettle, Giles muttered, this one doesnt turn
itself off any more. I have green tea, Indian tea, China tea or Earl
Grey, my lady any preference? he asked, his hand on the cupboard
door.
Earl Grey please its a favourite of mine. I watch as he
carefully warms the tea pot, spoons out the tea (no tea bags here!) and
re-boils the kettle. Joans influence?
Do you do much cooking, Giles? I asked as he put cups and
saucers on a tray with the teapot, shaking my head as he holds up the
sugar.
Im an adequate cook, if thats what youre asking. I quite
enjoy it when I have the time but I dont think Ill ever be a cordon
bleu chef. What about you?
Oh, I enjoy playing at housewife baking and jam making.
Im pretty much of a home body, Im afraid. I was brought up to
sew and knit and can scrub a floor pretty well.
A good scrubber, eh? he said with a grin.
I aim a punch at his stomach, but he catches my hand and,
pulling me towards him, kisses me thoroughly.
Come on, well drink this in the lounge. He said as he lets me
go.

145

He puts the tray down on a side table and starts pouring the tea.
I perch myself on the sofa, occupied happily in my now favourite
occupation of Giles watching.
Thanks. Oh, Ive brought your book back, Giles thanks for
lending it to me. I enjoyed it any chance I can borrow another? I
said taking the cup and saucer he is holding out to me.
Ill look you out a couple to take with you to Italy. He said,
sitting next to me on the sofa and offering me a biscuit. Im going to
miss you dreadfully while you are away, Jane. It hit me on Friday
when we were having dinner over at Lizzies.
I cant even imagine what it will be like not seeing you for a
week, Giles. Im only just getting by now. It is utterly ridiculous, I
mean, weve not even had a proper date yet.
I get the vague feeling that doing things by the book is never
going to be our strong suit, Jane. When do you fly out? he asked, the
set of his chin showing how tense he is despite his light tone.
Tuesday some time, I dont know the exact details Lizzie and
Tina are organising it.
Its only a week, Jane. Itll probably be good for us both. Will
you do something for me?
Of course, what? I replied wondering what he is going to ask.
It is going to sound daft, but could you write me a journal of
what you do. I know I wont see it until you get back but if I know
youre thinking of me at least once a day it will help.
Oh Giles, you silly, silly man! Youre in my thoughts most of
the time its getting absurd that I cant do anything without you
materialising there in some way or other. Of course, Ill keep a diary
or rather a long letter addressed to you it will help me too. It
might get a bit soppy at times.
Its got you that way too has it? What are we going to do,
Jane? I can see that Lizzie will want you to go and live with her
you realise that, dont you?
Yes, I know that. She hasnt said anything yet but I was
thinking about it yesterday I feel Tauntons pretty much finished for
me now. Ill have to find a job up here but Im reasonably well
qualified so that shouldnt be too difficult.

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I was wondering if maybe we could get round it if you spent

the week at her place and then came here at weekends, I could
probably pop over during the week after work. It would be an
unconventional marriage but that would be par for the course. He
said pensively, apparently unaware that he has got my heart racing.
He glances at me,
You do realise I mean marriage, dont you?
Giles, since I have known you, you have without fail succeeded
in rendering me speechless on more occasions than I care to count.
No, I didnt realise that.
Ah. Maybe I should have mentioned it before. He said
wickedly grinning at me After all, we did decide that I had seriously
compromised your reputation down in Taunton.
Giles, put that cup and saucer down so that I can box your ears
properly!
No way! Im a delicate little flower . He laughed, then
became very earnest Jane, you will marry me, wont you?
For a long moment, I stare into my cup and contemplate just
what life would be like living with him and also what it would be like
without him. There is no argument.
Yes, Giles. Ill marry you, though I think well have to wait
until Ive got jobs and Lizzie and everything sorted out a little. Please
dont lets say anything to anyone just yet.
No, thats a sensible suggestion we need time to get used to
the idea if nothing else.
I suddenly burst out laughing and have to put my cup down in
order not to spill my tea. He watches with raised eyebrows as I laugh
until the tears come.
And just what is so funny, you daft woman? he demanded, his
grin showing that he is catching the infection.
It suddenly struck me. Here we are, sitting having afternoon
tea two middle aged professional people and what are we
discussing the most romantic event in my life and a pretty
momentous one in yours too ... a proposal of marriage. So we sit here
calmly sipping our tea oh it is ludicrous!
He puts his cup down and, taking my hands, pulls me to my feet.

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Jane, my dearest love, will you marry me? he said seriously,

taking me in his arms.
Again, yes please, Giles.
If I thought that hed kissed me passionately before, I am very
quickly put straight on that one twenty minutes later, he picks me
up and carries me upstairs to his bedroom. Slowly we undress each
other,
Giles, we dont want to risk a repeat of history I murmured
at one point but he has sensibly equipped himself with condoms
Once again, snuggling my head against his shoulder, I sigh
contentedly.
Oh, Jane! he said, holding me tightly. I was so afraid I was
going to lose you last week. I suppose to some extent thats why Im
rushing things now. I have a very real sense of mortality.
I reach up and kiss him. We lie there together quietly, then he
raises himself on one elbow so he can see me properly,
Jane weve got to get your finances sorted out. Its
ridiculous to let that hang over your head and well have to sort out
the flat and your job. Now were engaged, I can help out.
I chuckle at his business-like tone and he looks at me
enquiringly,
Oh, Giles I do love you! I said which only makes him look
more confused than ever. Always the practical one! Ill let you have
all the information before we go to Italy and then you can get it sorted
out in your capacity as my solicitor. Hows that?
Thats good. Youd better ring Matthew and give notice, too.
No need to be so pleased about it the poor man didnt
deliberately neglect me! Do you go and visit your secretary when
shes ill?
No, but shes married with a husband to look after her.
Im glad to hear it! Im not sure I would like you looking after
some other woman as you did me, Mr Brewster!
Now theres a thought, he said, jumping as I start tickling
him. Now look here, you daft woman!
Thats it, take advantage of the fact that youre stronger than I
am me a poor, weak woman suffering from the aftermath of flu. I
cried, squirming as he retaliates and we both collapse laughing.

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I promised you dinner, didnt I? Wed better get dressed I

thought a pub meal would be easiest, is that okay with you?
Sounds good. I said as I start to put on my clothes.
I like that colour on you.
Im wearing the new skirt and jumper in shades of crimson
which Lizzie bought me.
Im a little wobbly going down the stairs, but I dont think its
due to the flu. Before we leave the house, Giles takes me in his arms
and kisses me very gently dear God! What this man does to me!
Come on, Im starving. He said with a grin.
The pub hes chosen is, so he tells me, halfway between Ivy
Lodge and Lizzie House. He goes there quite often by the look of it
the barman welcomes him and asks if he wants the usual. I stick to
soft drinks, explaining what Tina has recommended with regard to
alcohol. The foods good and while we eat, we go over the options
for the future again. We neither of us feel that I can leave Lizzie now
and if it means adapting our lives, then thats how it has to be.
What sort of timescale do you think we should work towards?
I asked as I finished the last of my lasagne.
With regard to weddings and things? I dont know, what sort
of event would you prefer?
I dont know, Giles, Ive never really thought about it. I
suggest we both think about it while Im in Italy. Have you any
preference?
No, just as long as I get you at the end of it I dont mind at all.
Silly sod!
Daft woman!
and we both laugh.
Id better come in and deliver you properly to Lizzie. He said
as he parks on the drive outside her house. One kiss before you go,
my lady.
I thought youd be better at counting than that, Giles. I said
when I finally get out of the car, but he just laughs.
Ive brought her back safely, Lizzie. Giles announced as we
walk into the Pink Room where she is sitting.

149

Im glad to hear that. Lizzie replied Well see you tomorrow

night, I expect? We fly out on Tuesday afternoon and will be off to
Heathrow early on Tuesday morning.
Yes, Ill be here tomorrow, Lizzie. Jane, youll have all that
information ready for me then? It will probably be about eight by the
time I get here Ive got a partners meeting at five thirty.
Will you have had anything to eat? I fussed, registering
Lizzies barely suppressed giggle behind me.
Well feed him, Jane. Do you hear, Giles?
Thank you, Lizzie. I appreciate that. With a kiss to her cheek
and a touch to my arm, he went.
Did you like Ivy Lodge? Lizzie asked as I settle in the chair
beside her.
Yes, its a lovely house. Hes done a brilliant job on it.
I havent seen it since hes finished it maybe I could go out
there sometime.
Im sure that could be arranged, Lizzie. Hed love you to see it,
Im sure.
Well, youd better be off to bed before Tina comes in and starts
telling me off for keeping you up, Jane. I have no doubt you will
sleep well.
I look at her suspiciously,
Well, all that fresh air. She said innocently Jane, just a quick
tip from one woman to another its always a good idea to brush your
hair thoroughly when you get out of bed, long hair is a nuisance, one
tends to do the front bits but the back lets the side down. Good night,
my dear.
Thank you, Lizzie, Ill remember that. I reply in a similarly
practical tone and give her a hug.
Her chuckle as I walk out of the room puts a grin on my face as
I head for the stairs.

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16.

JANE TELLS LIZZIE SHES MOVING TO BATH

What am I going to need to take with me to Italy? Lizzie, I

asked over breakfast in her room.
I am feeling much more like myself today though Ive noticed
that progress appears to be by fits and starts one moment feeling a
lot better and the next poleaxed.
I doubt it will be warm enough for summer clothes, Jane, light
jumpers and stuff like that would be sensible. If it is warmer, we can
always get something while were there. Tinas organised all the
official stuff and has the tickets. Joseph is driving us up to Heathrow;
well need to leave about nine I think, just in case we get held up.
Simon is to meet us at Naples. So all you and I need to do is look
decorative. And you neednt worry about money either, I am taking
enough for all of us.
I wont fight you on that one, Lizzie. I know when to be a
dutiful daughter! There are a few bits I need to get to take with me, is
Tina going into town at all today?
Lying in bed last night I made a list of things I need to get - I
want to get a journal to keep for Giles and would like to buy him a
little something before I leave. I didnt go off to sleep very quickly at
all last night, Im still not sure that yesterday afternoon actually
happened.
Yes, I think she will be later on Im sure shell take you. Are
you really feeling that much better?
Yes, now my head has stopped spinning every time I move, I
feel a lot more normal.
Thats good news, Jane, I was worried that you might find the
journey too much, but I think youll be all right now. Ah, Tina can
you take Jane into town with you when you go? she asked as Tina
comes into the room to help her get dressed.
Yes, of course. Im going about eleven, Jane, is that okay?
We arrange that Tina will drop me by Queens Square and meet
me in an hour and a half in the same place. Shes anxious that I dont
try to walk too far and even though Im feeling well, I recognise how
sensible she is being.
After so many years of being alone, its
unbelievably wonderful having people caring about me.
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I get a book of handmade paper in a little stationery shop and a

decent pen to write in it. If the man wants a journal, he shall have
one. I shall just have to be very tidy as I write it.
I want to get something special for Giles but dont know what
would be suitable. I wander round the shops looking for inspiration.
I wonder if I could get him something for his desk ... either at work or
at home. I look at the executive toys but thats not what I want In
a window, I spot some wooden statues theres a rather a nice one
of a man and woman holding hands and looking at each other yes!
I go in and have a good look at it the wood is very smooth and
tactile. I think hell like it. They wrap it up very nicely for me, after
checking there is no price tag on it anywhere. Ill give it to him
tonight.
Ill have to give some thought to seeing a doctor sometime, I
suppose. Condoms are all very well but a little unspontaneous. Ill
talk to Lizzie while we are away. I wonder if I should mention to
Giles that she sussed us out yesterday.
Im weary by the time I meet up with Tina and very glad that I
dont have to walk any further. She insists I have a lie down after
lunch, and Im more than happy to go along with that.
Whilst waiting for Tina this morning, I sat down and tried to
work out how much is left of that bloody debt - Originally it was
4,500 but therell be interest on that Ive been paying it back at
the rate of 600 a month for seven months now. I dont know how
much is left. In the end I decided to leave it for Giles to work out.
Ive written down the name and address of the loan company and all
the account numbers and details I can find. As for the flat, Ive
written down the name and address of the landlord. Ill have to give a
months notice but with a bit of luck Ill get the deposit back. Again,
Ill leave that for Giles to sort out. Matthew is my problem. I dont
like to give notice when I dont actually know if Lizzie wants me to
move in here then the thought struck me that if she doesnt, I know
someone who does that decides it.
After my rest, I go in search of Lizzie. Shes downstairs in the
music room with Alastair hes got some pupils this afternoon. I
hang around for a minute in the hallway, waiting for her to finish
talking to him. When she comes out shes leaning on her stick she

152

sometimes tries to walk around the house, from what I can see out of
sheer bloody mindedness more than anything, but I can understand
her motivation.
Hello, Jane, I didnt know you were waiting for me, you
should have come in and said something.
I just wanted a quick word with you, Lizzie. I said, giving her
my arm as we walk along the hall to the stair lift.
Oh, what about? You look very serious.
I help her into the seat and walk up the stairs beside her.
Id like to borrow the phone, if you dont mind. I need to ring
my boss and warn him that Im going to give notice.
To my surprise, Lizzie looks upset.
Oh. I was hoping youd come and live here, Jane. But I quite
understand. She said cryptically.
Thats what I was hoping too, Lizzie. I said and watch as her
dismay turns into sheer delight before my eyes.
But I thought you really want to come here?
Yes. Ill have to look for a job of some sort but yes, Id like to
come here. Giles is going to sort out the flat and my debt problems
for me while were away.
Is he? Mmmm. Ill talk to him about that.
Oh I do hope I witness this clash of the titans!
Oh, Jane. It would be so wonderful having you here but I
thought
I help her out of the seat and give her my arm as we walk back
to the Pink Room. I know perfectly well what she thought, but am
not giving anything away on that score just yet! Giles and I need to
do some more talking before that.
May I use the phone, Lizzie? I asked delivering her safely to
her chair in the Pink Room.
Yes, of course you know where it is.
She looks at me strangely I know Im never going to pull the
wool completely over her eyes, but at least I can try for a little while.
I ring the office and eventually get put through to Matthew.
Hello Matthew, its Jane yes, a lot better thank you. Im still
a bit shaky and any exertion just wipes me out but getting better by
the day. My ... I hesitate, but decide that it is too complicated to

153

explain our relationship aunt is taking me to Italy tomorrow for a

week in the hope the warmer weather will help Yes, its very kind
of her. Matthew, I am ringing to say that Im going to have to
relocate to Bath to live with my aunt. Shes disabled and getting
worse and Im the only family she has now. Yes, it means I shall
have give you notice, Im afraid. Well, its the 25 th today so if we
say one months notice from today, that takes us up to Christmas and
Ive got a couple of weeks leave due to me so if I come back from
sick leave on the 9 th and leave on the Friday of that week, would that
be okay? I really feel that the sooner I can move the better yes
thank you, I appreciate that, Matthew. Id like a chance to say
goodbye to people properly and having that week would enable me to
do that thanks. Ill have to get a job up here of course and
knowing youll give me a reference will make it easier. Yes, Ill see
you on the 9 th.
I walk slowly back to the Pink Room.
What did he say, Jane?
He took it fairly well really. Ive said that Ill go back on the
th
9 and finish on the Friday of that week they owe me holiday so it
all works out. It just feels very peculiar frightening almost. Its the
first time Ive given notice and not had something else lined up.
Oh Jane, you know perfectly well that isnt a problem. Lizzie
said laying a hand on my arm. And youre really coming here? she
said and there are tears in her eyes.
Yes, Lizzie, I am coming here. Well, most of the time,
She suddenly grins, that bloody twinkle very evident.
Now thats more what I was expecting! she crowed, What
did he suggest. Now dont tell me, see if I can guess weekdays
here and weekends at his place? Would that be close?
Lizzie, you are a witch! I am sure of it. Nothing is arranged
yet and you are not to say a word to anyone, please.
Dont worry, Jane, I can keep my mouth shut. I dont mind
sharing you with Giles. Hes almost like a son anyway.
I leave her to contemplate the thought of me moving in and go
to pack. It doesnt take long and very soon I have my bag packed and
ready for tomorrow morning. My passport is safely in my handbag
I dont think Ive forgotten anything.

154

I wonder if Giles will remember those books. Well, if he

doesnt it wont be the end of the world.
Dinner is a quiet affair with just Lizzie, Tina and I in the dining
room we could have eaten in the kitchen but its easier for Lizzie if
she doesnt have to go downstairs, so I helped Tina bring the food up.
Lizzie tells Tina that Im going to be moving in and Im rather
pleased to see that Tina is delighted by the news.
Lizzies like a dog with two tails which is lovely to see.
Ive got to get a job, Lizzie, but, if its all right with you, Ill
leave than until I move in.
It would be better to wait until after Christmas, dont you
think? she suggested adding that perhaps Giles will have some ideas

I can see the sense behind waiting until the new year to look for
a job, it just makes me feel very uneasy knowing I wont have any
income. I know Lizzie and Giles wont let me starve, but Ive always
earned my living and its going to be hard if I have to depend on them
financially.
Giles doesnt arrive until nearly 8.30. I do my best to look as
though Im not in the slightest bit concerned but I have no doubt that
Lizzie is perfectly aware of it.
He looks worn out when he comes in and flops into a chair. I go
down to the kitchen and fetch the tray of supper which Tina and I
prepared for him, adding a hot drink, and carry it upstairs.
Thank you, Jane. He said gratefully, standing up to move his
chair closer to the table, as I set it down. Stop looking so worried,
you daft woman!
Oh, give the man the welcome he wants, Jane. Dont mind
me. Lizzie said, her nose in a book.
Giles looks startled but doesnt fight when I put my arms round
him and kiss him.
How was the meeting? I asked as he starts eating, darting
glances at Lizzie every now and then.
I sit myself on the footstool close by, where I can see his face.
Boring we got a lot done but its hard work sometimes
having to argue with people who dont see why they should do things

155

properly. But you dont want to hear all that. How was your day?
Youre looking a lot better.
To deal with your points in order yes, I do, very pleasant and
yes I am, thank you. I said and watch as he works out which answer
goes with which comment.
I rang Matthew by the way and told
him I would be leaving on Friday 13 th December. He took it quite
well considering and said he would give me a shining reference if I
wanted one.
The 13 th is the dinner dance.
Yes, I know, I should be able to get back in plenty of time for
that. I thought it rather appropriate actually starting as I intend to go
on sort of thing.
Ill take the afternoon off and come and fetch you, that should
save a bit of time. So youll be homeless and jobless will you?
Ive said Ill take her in, Giles that is if no-one else wants
her. Lizzie said innocently from behind her book.
I see his lips twitch in acknowledgement of her comment.
Okay, Lizzie, stop pretending to read that book just what have
you worked out? he asked, mug in hand.
Is there something to work out, Giles? Jane hasnt said a
word. Lizzie enquired, putting her book down and revealing the
most mischievous face I have seen on her to date.
He splutters on the coffee hes in the process of drinking and I
have to giggle, Lizzie is unbelievable at times.
Lizzie, you he declared in exasperation, Jane, we havent
got a hope in hell of keeping it from Lizzie. But at least shell keep it
to herself.
Then youd better tell her.
Giles, you didnt . Lizzie exclaimed, and for once I get the
feeling that shes genuinely surprised.
Yes, I did and yes, she will, the daft woman that she is, but I
know how much you want her here and were going to work round
that. He said cryptically but Lizzie seems to be able to disentangle
the sense.
You dont have to do that. Lizzie protested. Thats no way to
start married life.

156

If we want to do it that way, then we will. Giles countered and

I nod agreement.
Lizzie looks from him to me and back again, relief and
happiness fighting in her face. I get up and go over to the box of
tissues which live on the sideboard and bring it back for her before the
tears start to fall.
Thank you, Jane. She said with a wry smile through her tears.
If youre both sure.
We are, Lizzie. But thats all in the future. Weve not worked
out the finer points, like weddings yet. Giles replied. And we want
to keep it quiet for the time being until weve got used to the idea.
Lizzie was saying that shes not seen Ivy Lodge since you
finished it, Giles. I said trying to relieve the highly emotional
atmosphere, When I come back from Italy, perhaps we could take
her over sometime?
Yes, we could. He said; his face revealing just how deeply
touched he is by the fact that I used the plural we in relation to his
home.
Giles, I know Jane has some business she needs to discuss with
you, why dont you two go along to her room and sort that out before
it gets too late? And by the way, her debts are my problem.
Well see about that, Lizzie. He said, and I see them both
squaring up for a fight. But well talk about that another time when I
have more details. Jane, did you get that information for me? he
asked as we walk out of the room together.
Yes, Ive put it all down I hope its sufficient for you to deal
with everything.
I give him the papers I prepared and explain whats what.
I see. Ill contact them and see what I can organise. When do
you want to move out of the flat? Is it a months notice? Well , thatll
be the end of December Ill get on to the landlord tomorrow. Is
there a deposit?
He writes it all down.
Giles, Ive got a little something for you. I said as he puts his
pen and notebook away.
Surprised, he turns and I hand him the parcel, watching as he
carefully unwraps it; he holds the wooden statue, just gazing at it for

157

several minutes. Does he like it? Then he gently puts it down on the
table and I notice the tears.
It is beautiful, Jane, absolutely beautiful.
He wipes his eyes as I quickly turn the key in the door.
Come here, my love. I said and lead him over to the bed.
He kicks his shoes off and with a massive sigh, lies down
holding out his arms to me. We lie there, just enjoying being
together. Gradually, I feel him relax, hes very tired. I wish I could
just cuddle up to him and watch him sleep but we cant do that
tonight.
Do you mind if I take it to work and put it on my desk? he
asked a little while later.
Of course not, I rather hoped that youd want to do that when I
bought it. Its only for a week, Giles.
Who am I trying to convince? It seems like an age.
I know. Jane, you will look after yourself wont you?
Hey, stop worrying! Ill be fine. Ill be thinking of you day
and night if the last few days are anything to go by.
Ditto. Ive brought you over a couple of books by the way,
theyre in my briefcase.
Youre a darling, Ill take them with me.
Id better be going, Jane. He said with a deep sigh, sitting up
and reaching for his shoes.
I walk him down the stairs to the front door, holding his hand
for dear life. Were neither of us making a fuss, but I know him well
enough now to know hes finding this as difficult as I am. At the door
he kisses me as though he is never going to see me again.
Jane, I love you so much. He whispered desperately.
And I love you, Giles. Go carefully.
I watch as his tail lights disappear as he pulls out of the drive
into the road.

158

17.

GOING TO ITALY

The uppermost thought in my head as I wake is post I

havent made any arrangements about my post and shant be at the
flat for weeks.
Damn!
I lie in bed trying to work out what I should do. I wonder if
Giles will be going down to Exeter at all while Im away hed
probably pick it up for me. The thought of Giles hijacks all lucid
thought for a few minutes come on, woman, get your head round
the practicalities if there are any bills or anything theyll need to be
dealt with.
Were leaving here at about nine so I could probably ring him at
the office before that I wonder if hes taken that little wooden
statue into the office and what, if anything, his secretary will make of
it oh, come on, Jane think!
The ubiquitous question of money I havent a clue where I
stand at the moment and am not at all comfortable with that fact.
Okay, Jane, think it through the rent goes out of the account
automatically on the 5 th of the month so thats 400 straight off,
then the 600 which is scheduled to go to the credit card company on
the 19 th thats 1,000 gone cos I doubt Giles will be able to do
anything much about this months payment dont start thinking
about him, Jane! Right, so my pay was just over 1,300 and I ended
last month in the black, just about that leaves, say, 350. That
cheque from Lizzie went into the account but Ive spent that so I
dont need to worry about adding that in. Ill need a couple of
hundred at least when I go back to Taunton bus fares and food and I
expect therell be utilities bills when I leave the flat. Oh, and
Christmas so if I set myself a budget of 50 at most for the week in
Italy with a bit of luck Ill make it through the month. I should get
my last pay check at the end of December which will tide me over for
a while until I can get another job up here at least I wont have to
worry about the rent though maybe I should talk to Lizzie about
that, I cant expect her to keep me without making any contribution
perhaps therell be a chance to talk about it while we are in Italy.

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Heavens! Whats the time seven ten Id better think about

getting up. Showered, dressed and sort of ready my hair takes so
much longer to dry now its grown so much - I go down to help Tina
get Lizzies breakfast.
How are you feeling, Jane?
Youre looking so much better
now. She asks as she prepares Lizzies tray.
Im starting to get fed up with people commenting on my health.
Im fine, thanks Tina. Can I help?
Could you bring up the coffee pot, please. Ive prepared a
cooked breakfast for you both this morning, and cant get the pot on
the tray.
Lizzie is excited; her excitement is contagious and although part
of me is aching at the thought of not seeing Giles for a week, I begin
to look forward to the trip. I mention my problem with the post at the
flat and she agrees that it would be sensible to ring Giles. Poor man,
hes taken on a lot with me!
Fortunately I wrote his office number in my address book, it
would have been embarrassing to have had to ask Lizzie for it. A
very different receptionist answers the phone She takes my name
very efficiently and tells me that yes, Mr Brewster is in the office,
shell put me through.
Jane! I was just thinking about you. His voice sending tingles
up my spine. Ive got the statue on my desk here it looks very
tasteful, though I think it may seriously affect my ability to do
anything remotely useful. Its lovely hearing your voice, but why are
you calling? Arent you due to be leaving soon? Theres nothing
wrong is there?
Giles, will you let me get a word in edgeways! No, theres
nothing wrong, well, nothing serious I got thinking this morning.
Ive done nothing about my post down at the flat and Im not going to
be there for weeks. Are you going down to Exeter at all?
Yes, Ive got a meeting there on Monday of next week shall I
pop in and check it for you? Youll have to leave your keys
somewhere I know, give them to Dad. What do you want done
with any bills?

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Can you pay them and Ill let you have the money when I get
back and youd better keep a strict tally of any expenditure, Mr
Brewster!
Jane, I promise I will not compromise your financial integrity
scouts honour! Well talk money when you get back I should
have some figures for you by then. morning, Pam Jane, Ive got
to go. Look after my lady for me.
Thank you, Giles Ill do my best.
I hang up and am appalled to discover that Im close to tears. It
must be the aftermath of the flu I tell myself sternly not listening to
the laughter from the cynic thats taken up residence in the back of
my head.
Joseph arrives just before nine and together, he and Tina load all
the bags into the car.
As Tina goes to get Lizzie, I have a quick word with Joseph.
Joseph Giles has very kindly said hell pop into my flat and
check the post when hes down in Exeter next week he said to give
you my keys, could you pass them on to him please? I clean forgot
about the post until this morning.
Of course, Jane. He said slipping my keys into his pocket.
Its nice seeing you so much better now. I hear that you went over to
Ivy Lodge on Sunday. Giless made a good job of it, hasnt he?
Yes, its a beautiful property. I replied trying not to let my
very clear memory of Sunday afternoon mangle my brain too much.
I expect youll want to make a few changes though. He said
with a knowing smile as I freeze. I saw him at the office yesterday,
Jane, but dont worry I wont tell anyone. I cant say Im terribly
surprised, but the speed with which hes moved did surprise me. He
must have been terribly sure about it my main concern is that he
hasnt bulldozed you into something youre not ready for. I know
how persuasive he can be at times.
No, Joseph, I dont think you need to worry about that. I know
its all happened terribly fast but Im as sure as he is. It all feels very
strange at the moment, you know.
I have no doubt it does, Jane. Does Lizzie know?

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What do you think! She guessed last night. I said with a smile
- Mind you, she was just as surprised as you. Did Giles tell you
what were intending?
Yes, and I think its very sensible. Lizzie does need you here,
Jane, and although it is going to mean a lot of toing and froing, it
could be made to work. Good morning, Lizzie, I have just been
talking to this daughter of yours about her moving up here.
Yes, its wonderful news isnt it? Jane actually rang her boss
yesterday and resigned, Joseph, so it should be possible to get it all
sorted out before Christmas. Isnt that terrific? Jane, darling, Ive had
to tell Tina some of whats going on I hope you dont mind, but
shes got to do all the practical arranging. Lizzie said turning to me.
Of course I dont mind, Lizzie, that makes a lot of sense.
Between us, Tina and I arrange Lizzie in the front seat of the car
and, taking our places in the back, settle ourselves down for the drive
to Heathrow.
Its really good that you are coming up to Bath, Jane. Tina
confided, once we were on the road. Its made all the difference to
Lizzie, you being here well have to get that stair lift extended up
to the second floor.
Im looking forward to the move, though Ill have to look for a
job once I get up here. Im hoping it wont be too difficult finding
one. I replied, wondering just how much Lizzie has told Tina
doesnt look as though shes mentioned the Giles complication.
We make good time, despite a hold u p on the motorway just
outside Reading roadworks have caused a bit of a bottleneck.
I
watch the back of Josephs head, thinking how like his son he is and
daydream about Giles.
I wont forget the keys, Jane. Joseph confirmed as he leaves
us inside the terminal.
Tina and Lizzie appear to be old hands at this flying lark; I
havent flown for some years and the sheer noise and bustle of the
terminal is making me feel slightly lost.
Jane, well go through passport control and find somewhere for
lunch the other side. Tina announced efficiently. If you can stay
with Lizzie for a moment, Ill deal with the luggage and get it booked
in.

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It is a relief leaving her to organise things. I drive Lizzies

wheelchair over to a seat and gratefully sit down.
Are you all right, Jane? Lizzie asked anxiously but when I say
that its only the noise and confusion which is hitting me, she looks
relieved. Joseph was telling me how pleased he is about you and
Giles, Jane. I havent mentioned that aspect of your move to Tina
yet.
No, I gathered that. Its all very hasty, isnt it? You dont
think were being silly, do you?
No, I dont think so, Jane. Lizzie replied slowly, giving the
matter serious thought You havent been through the normal dating
phase, but I feel that youve got to know each other pretty well. It is
different when you are older, you havent so many illusions or hangups. It must have been pretty intense down at your flat when you
were ill, that must have made a difference.
Tell me about it, Lizzie! All the usual proprieties went clean
out of the window. He even had to help me out of the bath! Hes a
very good nurse, you know, Lizzie.
That doesnt surprise me, he was such a gentle boy and Joan
very sensibly got him involved in Sarahs care when she was a baby
which must have taught him something about nursing. Did he tell you
about that?
Yes, I was in the bath at the time, I recall. I laughed, Oh
Lizzie, looking back it was a ludicrous situation. Do you know, he
just walked in and took over.
I can imagine he hasnt said very much about it, but I shall
look forward to hearing all the gory details in due course. But here
comes Tina it looks as though we are on the move.
I dont know if it is because Lizzie is in a wheelchair or if its
just her charm, but we are first on the aircraft. Before I know whats
happening, we take off. As we fly over Southern England little
patchwork fields visible through holes in the cloud, I feel a sudden
pang of Gilesitis, as I have taken to calling it.
The aircrew look after us very well. Im pleasantly surprised by
the quality of the sandwiches which they supply. Lizzie is on form
and chatters away happily to Tina and I about various tours she did
round Europe in the seventies. I do wonder if some of her stories

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have been a little augmented, shall we say, but they make very
entertaining hearing and who can blame her if she embroiders a little
at times.
Arriving at Naples, I am irrationally struck by an attack of the
jitters. I dont think Lizzie and Tina notice, at least if they do, they
dont comment, which is a relief. I am decidedly fed up with
perpetually being asked if I am all right.
As we emerge into the airport, Lizzie is greeted very
enthusiastically by a tall, dark-haired man :
Simon! she squeaked joyfully as he gives her a hug not an
easy feat considering shes in a wheelchair.
Hes a nice looking man and younger than I had thought hed
be. Hes nothing like the mental picture Id created
Simon, you know Tina, of course, but this is my daughter,
Jane.
Its the first time shes introduced me to anyone like that, and I
catch her eye for a second. Shes looking slightly fearful but I grin at
her and that look immediately disappears to be replaced by one of
pride.
Nice to meet you, Jane. Welcome to Italy. I gather that youve
been poorly. He said and I grit my teeth I remind myself that it is
irrational not to say ungrateful of me to be so touchy about it.
Where are all the bags? Oh well done, Tina.
He has a car waiting outside a large taxi and I get my first
glimpse of Italy. Although it is evening and dark, the air is a lot
milder than it was in England and the sheer exuberance of the Italians
as they come and go is exhilarating. Simon and I get in the back with
Lizzie, Tina opting to sit in the front and try out her Italian on the
driver - is there no end to this womans talents?
Simon explains that he has arranged rooms for us at a hotel not
far from where he and Anna live, it is quiet and slightly out of town
but, if we want to go into town, theres a hotel minibus which we can
use.
The traffic is unbelievably manic. Ive heard stories about the
roads in Italy before but never realised just how madcap they are.
Do you drive here, Simon? I asked as we narrowly scrape
through the gap between a lorry and a bus.

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How does the driver do it?

Yes, I have a car now, but Anna refuses to drive it. Fun isnt
it? he said appreciating my reaction as we have another near miss.
I dont think Id like to drive over here.
Oh, you get used to it. He said insouciantly somehow I
dont think I could; my sympathies are with Anna.
I listen as he and Lizzie discuss the book which hes written. As
he explains the story, which takes place during a modern day eruption
of Vesuvius, the volcano looms on our right I cant get over how
close it is.
The road goes through a tunnel and when we come out the other
end, I see the lights of the villages twinkling on the coast below us.
It takes nearly an hour to get to the hotel by which time Im
wishing that someone would please ask me how I am feeling and
preferably put me to bed We have rooms on the ground floor all
with ensuite facilities but the best news is that the dining room is
still serving food. Im starving and although Im so tired I could drop,
I join Lizzie and Tina for a light meal before falling into bed and
sleeping dreamlessly.

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18.

SORRENTO

Daylight showing through the curtains wakes me just before

eight. In a burst of energy, I throw back the covers and rush over to
look out of the window. The ground drops away quite steeply in front
of me, the hotel pool, drained and empty now, is on a patio level the
next floor down, and from there the land falls away to the sea about
half a mile away I suppose its difficult to judge distances. Olive
trees I recognise but there are some other trees as well Orange or
lemons perhaps?
The sea twinkles in the distance a glorious deep blue, even
though its December, and across the bay, I can see the rough outline
of Naples, I think it is, with the volcano looming above and a little to
the right. The air is a little chilly after my nice warm bed, and I reach
for my dressing gown I didnt unpack properly last night, only
getting out the bare essentials I needed and the case is lying open on
the table by the window.
Leaning against the window frame, I lose myself in the view.
Its pretty spectacular now, what its like in the summer, I cannot
imagine! Maybe Giles and I could come here sometime a knock
at the door brings me back to the present and I go to unlock it Tina
is outside.
Did you sleep well, Jane? she asked, walking over to admire
the view Its lovely isnt it?
Yes, to both questions. I was shattered and slept like a log. I
hope you were comfortable.
Very Lizzie is not too good this morning, not surprisingly.
Shes going to sleep a little longer and Ive arranged for her to have
breakfast in her room later. You and I can go into the dining room for
ours.
Ill just shower and get dressed and Ill be with you, Tina. I
shouldnt be long.
Im two doors up knock when youre ready, Jane.
Breakfast is laid out in the dining room. The waiter tells us that
we can help ourselves to as much as we want of the cereals, waferthin slices of ham or cheese, bread rolls, honey and fruit which is laid
out on the tables. It takes me a moment to work out how to use the
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coffee machine, but I manage it without making too much of a fool of

myself. The dining room has windows on three sides, with views all
round. It is magnificent, but my eyes keep being drawn to the
volcano across the bay.
Tina flirts with the waiter and I find myself wondering how
much of a social life she has living with Lizzie. Because shes so
capable and obviously in charge, I tend to forget that she is quite a lot
younger than me. I know she goes out to the jazz club a couple of
nights a week, but Ive never seen her with a man. I wonder if shes
got a boyfriend.
What sort of job do you think youll be looking for in Bath,
Jane. She asked as we sat over our second cup of delicious coffee.
Its been a great relief to me to find that coffee no longer tastes
horrible.
I dont know something secretarial, I suppose.
My
qualifications are reasonably good and I have pretty broad experience
generally, so it shouldnt be too difficult. If I had to chose what Id
like, I suppose it would be something where I get a chance to work
with words rather than figures, maybe something in the research or
literary line. But to be honest, my prime concern is that I earn some
money. I know Lizzie will kick up but I wont be financially
dependent on her.
Mmm, she will doubtless kick up, as you put it, Jane, but stick
to your guns. After all, its unlikely that youll stay single for ever
and you might need earning capacity, you never know.
What about you, Tina? Surely you dont expect to stay single.
I dont know, Jane. Ive not met anyone Id want to spend my
life with and, anyway, theres Lizzie to consider. Leaving aside the
fact that I work for her, Im very attached to her and would miss her
horribly. Any man who wanted to marry me would have to accept
that she comes with the deal.
I know what you mean, Tina. But it comes to something when
a man proposes to you and actually puts into the proposal that it will
involve Lizzie! I said, so relaxed that I have forgotten that Tina
doesnt know about Giles and I.
Ah, so Im not jumping to conclusions. She said as I realise
just what Ive said. I did wonder with the pair of you looking so

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So stupid? I finished for her, but she giggles and congratulates

me. Its not common knowledge yet, Tina, apart from anything else,
weve got to get used to the idea, let alone sorting out the
practicalities. Were talking about splitting our time between Lizzie
House and Ivy Lodge at the moment.
That could work very well you know, Jane, of course if you
decide to have children that would complicate things.
I look at her aghast, Ive not thought about the possibility of
children.
Well, lots of people have babies at your age, Jane. she said
smiling at my stunned expression.
Oh God, something else we need to talk about.
I rather fancy the idea of turning into a part-time nanny, you
know, Jane. She said teasingly.
I give her a filthy look still laughing she goes to collect a tray
for Lizzie, leaving me to take refuge in another cup of coffee.
Excuse me, but are you with Lizzie Mortimer?
I look up and see a woman standing by the table.
Yes, can I help you? I said wondering who she could be.
Lizzie is in her room having breakfast at the moment. Do sit down.
Thanks. You must be Jane. Im Anna Hammond its nice to
meet you. She said sitting down beside me.
I should have known my vision of how I imagined Anna to look
would be wrong! For some reason, I had imagined a large, imposing
woman in her thirties and Anna is nothing like that slim and nearer
fifty than anything else I should think. She asks if we are happy with
the hotel conveying the impression that shes concerned it might not
be right. I quickly put her straight and her face clears, delight
beaming out at me. Shes a fascinating woman.
I hear youve been very ill, Jane.
I tell her all about the flu, how Giles came and rescued me and
only just stop myself from telling her the rest.
Oh Jane, I know just how you must have felt. It was always my
darkest fear that I would become sick. I lived on my own for years
after my son left home. People dont realise how hard it is not having
anyone even to talk problems over with, let along shoulder some of
the load. When Simon came along, it was almost too good to be true.

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I must have looked curious or something, because she then went

into a potted history of how they had met and little more than two
months later got married and came out here. Her eyes shine when
she mentions Simon, it is rather endearing.
It was all rather stunning, and adjusting when we got here had
its awkward moments, I can tell you. Especially as I was used to
working I was a legal secretary, you know. But Simon working
from home helped though in the early days, I think I was more of
an obstacle to him getting any work done! she said with a wicked
look on her face. I do like this woman!
I feel a ridiculous urge to tell her all about Giles and I but
suppress it, maybe later in the week, when we know each other a
little better.
Anna! Lizzies voice from behind me cries in delight.
We both rise and go to join Lizzie and Tina in the lounge area of
the room. Anna goes through her concerned enquiry yet again the
woman is worse than I am when it comes to worry by the look of
things once her anxiety has been allayed, she tells Lizzie that we
have been getting to know each other.
Youve got a lot in common, you two! Lizzie commented
obliquely, causing Anna to look at me speculatively.
Having ascertained that I have recovered from the journey,
Lizzie suggests that we all go into the town to have a look round.
With the help of the receptionist, she arranges for a taxi to collect us,
dropping us somewhere convenient Tina is the linguist of the group,
though Anna appears to be pretty fluent. Lizzie just uses charm it
seems to work pretty well!
We wander through the old section of the town for a while,
Anna tells us that it is pretty much as the Romans laid it out an
amazing thought! The cobbled streets are not particularly wheelchair
friendly, but the area is mainly pedestrianised, though that doesnt
stop the ubiquitous scooters whipping past us every now and then.
The centre of the town appears to be a large square with traffic
whizzing across at all angles, Obviously, as it is December, a few of
the cafs have removed the tables which would usually be spread over
the pavements, but others have installed space heaters anyway, the

169

air is mild compared with England and it is pleasant sitting outside.

We decide to have lunch here.
Is there anything special youd like to do while you are here?
Anna asked as we work our way through some delicious pizza.
Jane ought to see Pompeii and Herculaneum. Lizzie said.
But I doubt I could manage it anyway, Ive seen it before. Capri
would be nice.
Ive always wanted to go to Capri. I confessed.
We could probably hire a boat, Lizzie. Anna suggested, The
hydrofoils are regular but it would be much more fun to hire our own
boat, then we could go round the island. Wed have to get some form
of transport on the island though if were going to take the
wheelchair. I wonder if we could hire a taxi or something. Ill talk to
Simon and see what he thinks.
Anna, would you take Jane to Pompeii, etc?
Id love to. Anna affirmed with that dazzling flash of delight
which I am learning is characteristic of her.
But what about you, Lizzie? I asked
I saw something in the hotel about coach trips to the Amalfi
coast I thought Tina and I go on one of those.
You dont want Jane to wear herself out. Tina put in
No maybe if she had an outing one day then maybe a quiet
day pottering around what do you think? Lizzie suggested. As
for me, Im quite happy to sit on the hotel balcony and enjoy the sun.
Tina, youre welcome to do what you like, but you know that.
There are some lovely walks near the hotel as well not too
tiring. Anna put in and Simon and I were hoping you would
come over to us for dinner one evening, the trouble is theres a
fairly steep staircase up to our flat.
Im sure we could manage it. Tina said, As long as Lizzies
had a quiet day she can get around reasonably well.
Oh good. Anna exclaimed. Ill have a word with Simon and
see which night would be best for him. Well pop over and have a
drink with you later if thats okay.
Perfect, Anna! Lizzie declared in a satisfied voice.
Shes having a great time and it shows.

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Weve arranged for the taxi to pick us up at 3.00 and before that,
we have to go back to a little shop Lizzie saw which sells childrens
clothes. Shes seen a dress she wants to get for Ellie.
How is Jo? Anna asked as we wait for the taxi to turn up.
Lizzie tells her how well its working out with Alastair using the
Music Room for his pupils. I listen as she explains how hes built up
quite a number of pupils in the village and, as a result, has been able
to drop some of his school work.
With Jo back at work, its so much easier for them as Alastair
looks after Ellie and takes her to and from her nursery. Theyre very
happy, Anna.
Im glad to hear that, Lizzie. Jos a special lady.
When we get back to the hotel, Tina settles Lizzie on the
balcony of her room and goes off for a walk.
May I come and sit with you, Lizzie? Ive got some writing to
do so wont interfere with your reading.
Of course, Jane. Theres a table out on the balcony which you
can use. What are you writing?
I explain what Giles has asked me to do she thinks it is a
lovely idea, at least that is what she says I think it is probably a little
too sickly sweet for her. Lizzie has a very practical streak
reminiscent of my Aunt Joyce at times. I get the feeling shes not
romantic at all.
I thought it would be difficult writing, but as soon as I set pen to
paper, the words just flow. Its just as if Im talking to him ... I tell
him all about the flight and the hotel, how Anna came to see us and
the day weve had in Sorrento. To my amazement, Ive covered
several pages without even trying.
Dinner in the hotel restaurant is very relaxed the food tasty
and the waiter friendly. While we eat, Tina tells us about the ruins of
a Roman palace shes discovered down on the coast. It sounds
delightful and I ask if shell show me where it is sometime. It seems
she met a young Italian guy while she was down there and we
tease her a little.
Simon and Anna appear just after nine, and join us in the hotel
bar. Its fascinating watching them together. He watches her, clearly
enjoying the view as her emotions come and go across her face.

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Ive put together a rough schedule of the things you wanted to

do, Lizzie. Anna said once were settled, I got in touch with some
people we know and have arranged a boat to take us to Capri on
Sunday, so Simon can come too. You said you wanted to go down to
the Amalfi coast so if I take Jane to Pompeii on Friday, that should
give you sufficient time to book it. And we wondered if dinner at
ours on Saturday would be workable.
Anna, thats just right. Thank you. Lizzie said and Anna
glows under the praise.
Anna, why dont you take Jane down to the fishing village,
tomorrow? Simon suggested, Its an easy stroll and if you take it
gently, not too bad coming back up. Its pretty down there, Jane, take
a towel, you might even be able to paddle a little.
Thats a good idea. Jane, would you like to do that? Anna
said, We could go down after lunch and spend the afternoon down
there.
Why dont you go down there mid morning and have lunch at
that nice fish restaurant down there on the quay, Anna? Simon said.
Youd get the best of the day then. Also, Ive got to go over to
Naples for a meeting and wont be back until late, so it would keep
you out of trouble!
She threatens him with all sorts of dire fates but I can see that
they are just jousting with each other thats what Giles and I do
oh Giles, I wish you were here
Ill pick you up at eleven, Jane. Anna said.
19.

ANNA AND THE FISHING VILLAGE

Tina insists that Lizzie has a lazy morning and so, after
breakfast, I am sent to sit with Lizzie
Just you make sure she rests, Jane.
and thats easier said than done
Anna turns up on time and, with Lizzies have a good time but
dont overdo it ringing in my ears, we set off together.
Anna turns out of the hotel entrance down a tiny lane which
leads almost underneath my bedroom window that surprises me for
a start off I suppose I thought wed be going along the road the
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path winds along beside the lemon groves and joins a country lane
about half a mile down from the hotel. The weathers being kind to
us; its rather like a mild English summers day very pleasant for
walking. The road is quite steep but we encounter very little traffic.
Tell me about yourself, Jane. Anna invited, so I tell her all
about my life, enjoying the opportunity to talk about Lizzie and what
it means to me to have family. She thinks its wonderfully romantic
that Lizzie and I have found each other now and says so in no
uncertain terms, commenting somewhat acerbically that, too often,
peoples lives are messed up by convention and social stigma.
So what is it that Lizzie thinks you and I have in common?
she asked as we round a hairpin bend cautiously keeping any eye out
for any Italian drivers.
Shit! Id hoped she wouldnt remember that comment.
Well, as I said, I only met Lizzie at the beginning of October
um and although Id ... um met Giles at his offices just
before that, I didnt get to know him until I went to Bath
Go on. She said, her expression clearly anticipating what I am
going to tell her.
well, we sort of got engaged last weekend.
Anna laughs loudly at this,
Oh Jane, no wonder you look bemused some of the time. I
know exactly how youre feeling.
You do?
Oh yes when Simon proposed to me, we had to keep it quiet
for ages because I just couldnt get my head round it it was some
time before I actually got round to accepting him.
Well, were trying to do that, but its proving impossible. First
Lizzie guessed, then Giless father wormed it out of him, now Tina
knows and you its all getting a little ridiculous. Then, on top of
that, I keep wondering if Im being sensible.
Thats a horrible feeling, Jane. Anna said sympathetically.
Tell me about Giles, we met him when we were in England last but I
cant say I know him well.
Giles well ... hes exactly a year older than me to the day
would you believe!
I try to picture him so that I can describe him to her.

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Hes about a head taller than I am, slimmish autocratic to the

nth degree and as stubborn as they come at times. Weve already had
one frightful row and it wasnt pleasant ... were very alike. Hes a
solicitor do you know his firm . Brewster Toms? You used to
work in the legal business, didnt you?
Yes, I know of them a very good firm, so I believe.
Yes, thats what my boss said. Anyway, Giles is the managing
partner, specialising in commercial property. I think he knows your
old boss he mentioned it at dinner the other week when we were
talking about coming out here. When I was ill he was fantastic.
What do you mean, Jane?
Well, I got sent home from work with the flu. I rang Lizzie to
say that I wouldnt be able to get to Bath for the weekend as arranged.
Well she rang Giles in a complete panic I gather I sounded pretty
rough and he dropped everything, announced that he was going to
look after me and turned up on my doorstep. I wasnt at all well by
that time and he had his work cut out for the next couple of days I
was delirious I gather it scared him rigid I dont think he had any
sleep at all. Once I started getting better he was a darling, I was a
complete mess and he had to do everything for me at first. It made for
some interesting moments but at no time did he make me feel
awkward and it would have been very easy. In fact, when I had
nightmares about being on my own, he shifted his sleeping bag onto
the bed and just put his arm round me. Oh Anna, I miss him. I
wailed, overcome with a need to see him.
I think youve answered your own question, Jane. Anna said
wisely, If hes as crazy about you, and it sounds to me as though he
is, I think you stand a pretty good chance of being a very happy
woman.
We walk a little further down the road, I can now see the sea
sparkling at the bottom.
Jane, I asked exactly the same question my friend Mel made
me see how much I love Simon. She suggested that I should walk
away from the whole thing I couldnt bear the thought of that.
Do you think men go through this process, Anna?
Thats a very good question I dont think they do it the same
way, but they certainly have their own doubts. I know Simons big

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fear was that he wouldnt be enough in some way, that hed let me
down. We had an unusual wedding, Jane. Simons brother is the
vicar you probably know him hes a lovely man. He married us
which was lovely. At the rehearsal he went through what it all
meant, obviously very emotionally up tight about the whole thing.
We left the choice of reading to him; he chose the section of Ruth
where Ruth leaves everything to go with her husband. But he didnt
take the usual cleave to your man business he turned it round and
made it an obligation on Simon to make my sacrifice valid. It had a
massive effect on Simon hed die rather than make me unhappy.
Men are funny things sometimes.
You can say that again! Oh, Anna, this is beautiful!
Weve arrived at the end of the lane and before us lies a small
bay, complete with mini harbour. There are fishing boats pulled up
on the shingle and the waves are gently splashing on the sand.
Lets go and sit on the rocks over there, shall we, Jane.
The suns quite warm. Its lovely sitting with it warming my
back.
You know, Jane, Ive given quite a lot of thought to
male/female relationships over the past year or so. You see, at the
time I met Simon, I was living a solitary little life in the cottage where
Jo and Alastair now live, Jo was living her double life in the one next
door and Sally have you met her yet? No? Doubtless you will
Sally was on her own with her two kids. Yet, within the space of
three months, I was on the verge of marrying Simon, Jo and Alastair
were able to move in together and Sally started going out with my
boss, Gary. Yet all the relationships were different.
What do you mean?
Jo and Alastair are soul mates you may have seen it they
exist on an entirely separate plane from the rest of the world. They
built up their relationship slowly, intertwined with their music, over a
period of years. By the time they got together, they had something
really solid and stable.
Yes, Ive seen something of that.
Simon and I were like two kids by comparison he would have
me believe that, with him, it was love at first sight he battered
away at my resistance until I gave in, not that Id have it any other

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way. Sally and Gary were different. Theyd both been on their own
for some time their relationship was more sex-based initially you
could feel the electricity between them it developed into love
afterwards. Theyve had a several pretty hefty rows but it cant
easy forming a relationship with three teenagers in the house
watching. I dont know if theyll marry or not.
She fell silent, staring at one foot and marking out a pattern on
the sand with it before going on.
If you get involved in the legal scene in Bristol, Jane, youll
probably meet up with them at some stage. Garys practice is in Bath
but hes socially active in Bristol and regularly head hunted by some
firm or other. Hell never move, he loves Bath too much. Where
would you put your relationship with Giles?
Oh its an intellectual thing initially I fell in love with him
through verbal jousting, if that doesnt sound too silly for words I
mean, the physical side is there as well, but thats been an add-on in
some ways. I could live without ever touching him but not if I
couldnt be with him mentally, oh that sounds silly
No, I understand what you mean, Jane. I only met him briefly
but he struck me as a very cerebral man - I should imagine he plays a
pretty mean game of poker never gives anything away.
Thats it completely! He had me fooled, I can tell you. But
talk about still waters running deep. Were going to have some
hellish rows, I can see it now.
Yes, but think of the making up afterwards, Jane. Anna said
with a grin. Come on, lets paddle.
We splash about in the clear water, which is on the chilly side,
but not unpleasantly so. Anna shows me how to look for bits of seaweathered glass something she used to do with her son, Rob. Ive
got quite a collection by the time we decide to dry our feet off and go
in search of food.
What I dont understand, Jane, is how come you were on your
own in the first place. Anna said as walk along the promenade
towards the caf.
I tell her the sorry tale of Alan and his perfidy. Her eyes flash
with anger.
The slob! The utter slob!

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Thats pretty well what Giles said the first time I met him it
was rather gratifying. I commented enjoying seeing the sparks flying
from her eyes.
I can see why Simon enjoys watching her.
So how are you going to manage with Lizzie and that? she
asked as we sit down at one of the tables.
That was the funny thing about Giless proposal talk about
getting the cart before the horse! We were sitting drinking Earl Grey
in his lounge and, completely out of the blue, he said that he thought
it would be a good idea if I spent the weekdays with Lizzie then came
over to his place at weekends. Then it dawned on him that I might not
realise he meant marriage, and then some quarter of an hour later, he
actually proposed. Oh Anna, It was priceless! But thats what were
like.
Oh Jane youd better look after that man, its clear hes not
safe let out on his own! But seriously, the suggestion of splitting your
time sounds sensible. I assume he could come over to see you during
the week.
Yes, I think that could be the way it goes. But I was talking to
Tina about it yesterday and she raised a question which has got me
nervous.
Oh, what was that?
Children. Im forty-one so its possible look at Jo! But I
have no idea how Giles feels about it, whether he would want to or
not Im not even sure how I feel about it.
Mmmm, I see what you mean. Thats never been a question for
us, Simon contracted something nasty on his first tour of duty in the
tropics and it sterilised him. Fortunately, hes not bothered about it,
but it does make my life easier. Hes happy to share Rob and the
grandchildren. Does Giles like babies?
Oh, hes very good with them. His mother died in childbirth
when he was ten and he was very hands on helping with his baby
sister. I should think hed be a brilliant father. Probably better than
Id be a mother.
I think you had better give it some thought, Jane. Make up
your mind how you feel about it so that when the subject does get
discussed, and it will you know, you at least know where youre

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coming from. It might be a good idea for you think about it while
youre here and not near him.
Yes. I see what you mean. It is all so complicated, isnt it?
Life is so much simpler when one is a teenager.
In some ways what do you want to eat, Jane? My treat.
I cant let you do that, Anna. I protested, having borrowed
some Euros from Lizzie, I was prepared to stand Anna this meal.
Oh yes, you can. She said finally.
Youre as bad as Giles! I muttered helplessly How many
grandchildren have you, Anna? I asked as we ate anyone less like
a granny I cant imagine!
Two theres Leo whos going on four and Kit whos nearly a
year old. Rob and Trish run a hotel on the edge of Dartmoor we
had our honeymoon there. It was lovely. Theyre coming out here in
the New Year for a holiday and I cant wait to see them. Anna takes
a sip of her fruit juice. Trish is a love she and Rob got married last
year in the autumn and it was a lovely wedding. We went back for it.
She was heavily pregnant with Kit at the time which added a certain
je ne sais quoi, but it was lovely all the same.
It is harder going back up the hill towards the hotel, but we take
it easy and Im not too shattered by the time we get to the top. Once
or twice Anna looks anxious, but I reassure her I might be breathless
but I am not going to keel over!
I wont come in, Jane, she said when I suggested that she come
up and say hello to Lizzie, Contrary to the impression Simon gave, I
have things I must do tonight before he comes home. Getting the
washing in for one it should have dried nicely today. Now, about
tomorrow Ill come over about ten, if thats okay and well get the
bus into town and then get the train to Pompeii. Im looking forward
to it.
Thanks for a lovely day, Anna Im looking forward to
tomorrow too.
Sitting in the lounge after dinner writing my journal, I ponder
whether I should include the contents of our conversation or not
no, I wont, there are things Giles doesnt need to know.

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20.

JOURNAL ENTRY
Friday Night.

Giles,
Theres a small party going on in the bar tonight I wish you
could see Lizzie - shes having a great time playing Grande Dame
du Theatre to an appreciative audience. I joined in for an hour but
have slipped away to write to you.
It is peaceful sitting here in the quiet of the hotel restaurant,
looking out across the Bay of Naples. I can see the lights of Ischia
and Naples twinkling in the distance and England seems very far
away and, although I am having a lovely time here, there is a Gilesshaped hole inside me which aches abominably. But I had better not
moan too much or youll change your mind.
Anna took me to Pompeii and Herculaneum today oh Giles, it
was amazing! Ive visited Roman villas in Britain and am a keen fan
of Time Team so know a reasonable amount about the Romans, but
walking around the town was oh, I cant find the words
But to start at the beginning. Anna came and collected me from
the hotel and we walked down to the bus stop on the corner. We got
on the bus but, whereas in England one pays the bus driver, here, you
have to purchase a ticket from a shop (usually near the bus stop,
Anna tells me) naturally, she had equipped herself with tickets for
both of us. She is very efficient, is Anna. It is a bit hairy on these
roads for anything longer than a car the bends are very tight and
everything stops to let coaches and buses get round. Well, most of the
time. There are some frantic moments when the traffic jams up
completely and no-one is willing to give way it gets very noisy as all
the drivers hit their horns but they seem to enjoy it. The bus dropped
us near the railway station and we got the train to Pompeii. Feels
very strange writing that! A bit like getting the bus to Atlantis or
taking a taxi to Rivendell surreal!
Naturally we talked all the way. As I said in yesterdays
journal, Anna and I get on very well oh Giles - she has suggested
that we could come and stay with them sometime. Do you think that
would be possible? Whenever I go anywhere, I keep thinking how
much I would love to have you here to share it with. Oh Giles, there
are so many things I dont know about you! Youll laugh if I tell you
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that when I close my eyes, I can see you sitting there in my bathroom
smiling at me from the top of the loo is that daft or is that daft!
One of the things we talked about was names I think it started
when I told Anna that I think her name is really romantic Anna
Karenina and all that. She surprised me by saying that she hated it.
Ive always detested mine and am certain that I am as practical and
reliable as I am because of it. If I had been called Sophia or Desiree
I am sure I would have been totally different. Plain Jane doesnt
do it for me! Anyway, we were talking about Jo and Alastair Jo is
never called Josephine which is another romantic name. Anna asked
if I had noticed how they never use pet names for each other.
Thinking about it, shes right. Ive seen a fair bit of Jo and she never
calls him anything but Alastair no shortened version, no darling or
dear or sweetie most unusual. Anna says that Simon occasionally
calls her darling and I understand that Sally (whom I have not met
yet but am assured I will from the way Jo and Anna talk about her,
it seems she is the third of the trio which used to live down at the end
of the lane where Jo lives but dont quote me on that) and her man,
Gary, use such terminology all the time. Sorry, that sentence seemed
to take on a life of its own I hope you can track the sense of it. To
get back to the subject, I love the way you call me a daft woman it
sends tingles down my spine which is extremely silly and
inappropriate for a sensible middle aged woman like me. But maybe I
shouldnt tell you that it will only encourage you!
One thing I
have found out is that Anna is a very noticing type of person . I
wonder what she has noticed about me . ummm
Walking around Pompeii was strange little things like the
stepping stones across the road so that people wouldnt get their feet
covered in muck and the signs on the walls; it really hit me that these
were people just the same as us. Okay, so they didnt use mobile
phones but fundamentally mankind hasnt changed at all. I have no
doubt that this sounds daft to you, and Im probably putting it very
badly, but it was the personal side of things which hit me. Anna and I
had a good giggle seeing the carving on the road which advertised
the brothel and showed men where to find it - and you dont need me
to tell you precisely what was carved on the road! It was very
adolescent of us but it is years since I had such fun with another

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woman. We concluded that men havent changed much. Not sure if

that is consoling or not.
We had a short, sharp shower of rain as we walked round
Pompeii luckily, we were able to shelter in one of the complete
houses which are still standing, there is not much cover otherwise and
I should imagine in the summer when it gets really hot that it is
unbearable walking around here. It was an odd feeling, listening to
the rain and sheltering in a Roman dining room. We could see the
rain falling into the basin in the entrance hall of the house the
atrium I think its called - just as it would have done all those
centuries ago.
I had a good look round the shops along the road by the
entrance to the site, but couldnt find anything I liked pity, I would
have liked a reminder of Pompeii but the stuff on offer was cheap and
tacky and didnt appeal to me at all.
We got the train to Ercolano the town which has been built on
top of the old Herculaneum thank goodness Anna speaks Italian.
The man selling the tickets was rather dim and she had to explain
several times what we wanted goodness knows why, I imagine most
tourists do this double trip. When we finally managed to get him to
understand, we had missed the train we intended to catch so had to
wait another twenty minutes for the next one. However, we eventually
got to Ercolano; walking from the station down the hill to the
archaeological site was pleasant the sun had come out by then and I
actually had to take my cardigan off! It is easy to forget that it is
December. We sat outside the caf in the visitors centre for a snack
lunch before going round the site and I mentioned that I was going to
the Law Soc. Christmas dinner dance with you Anna says we are
sure to see her old boss Gary Blackford there hes the other half of
Sally. Do you know the man at all? I know you mentioned him at
dinner the other week but I cant remember if you know him
personally or just know of him professionally.
Herculaneum was far more intimate than Pompeii. Anna is
clearly very fond of the place and I can see why. It is almost as
though the occupants had just wandered off somewhere and were due
back any moment it is haunted but not in a spooky way. The

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thought of their horrific end is ghastly. And to think that people still
live in the shadow of Vesuvius.
You wont know, but I have just spent the last twenty minutes
gazing out of the window Giles do you ever wonder what it will be
like? You and I? I try to recall what it was like living in Taunton and
not knowing you, not knowing Lizzie the overwhelming feeling is of
cold and emptiness but now Im getting fanciful and that is daft
Im going to bed. Good night.
As I get ready for bed it dawns on me that Im feeling
disorientated sort of lost tonight. Logic tells me that this is
reasonable Ive been through quite a lot in the last few weeks but it
still feels ungrateful of me. Sleep, Jane!
. I hear a knocking at the door. Thats odd, I get up and go to
open it - Giles is standing there.
Giles .What are you doing here?
Hes looking really angry.
Get away from me you foul woman! I never want to see
you again!
He turns and walks away I see a woman step forward to join
him he puts his arm around her I try running after him but I
cant reach him
I wake with a shudder to find tears streaming down my face. A
nightmare, I tell myself rationally, only a nightmare.
What the hell is the time?
2.40 a.m.
I get out of bed and go over to the window. Opening the
curtains, I look out on the still night, the lights across the bay
twinkling gently. With the back of my hand, I wipe the tears from my
face.
Its what Im scared of, isnt it? Giles changing his mind and
its getting worse the longer I go without seeing him.
Be sensible,
Jane, hes given you no reason at all to expect him to do that, has he?
No, but hes so successful, so secure .. and Im just a poor, and, yes,
illegitimate nobody Im not glamorous or blessed wit h sparkling
wit or talented in any way at all. When you compare me to, say, Jo
for example theres no comparison. Shes good looking and
talented and professional as well. And Anna, shes lovely. It must

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be that he feels sorry for me how could someone as marvellous as

he is, want me?
The tears run down my face as I look out over the starlit olive
groves and my nose starts running. I turn back to the bed, grope
under the pillow for the tissue which should be there, and give my
nose a good blow.
Oh Giles, why did I have to fall in love with you? Its going to
be so hard giving you up.
I stand by the window for ages then start shivering and crawl
back to bed, weeping into my pillow until I fall asleep.
I wake on Saturday morning feeling like shit. I gaze dry-eyed at
my reflection in the mirror, and face the fact that when I get home
Giles will politely tell me that hes made a mistake and Ill do the
honourable thing and forget it ever happened.
If Im lucky maybe Lizzie will want me to stay with her, though
I know shell be disappointed and it might be better if I just go away
Ive burnt my boats in Taunton, though maybe Matthew would
take me back again ...
Clinging to that idea, I shower and dress and go into breakfast.
Lizzie is up this morning full of plans for a shopping trip and keen
to get into town fairly early. I smile and prattle about the shopping
shes planning but even to my ears it sounds forced and I am not
surprised when Lizzie reaches out and lays her hand on my arm.
Jane, stop it. Whatever is the matter? she asked in such a
concerned voice that the tears immediately threaten again.
Nothing I muttered, trying to control myself.
I think I know what it is, Lizzie. Ill go and get something to
help. Tina said efficiently as I frantically try to control my face.
She rushes out of the dining room. I sip my coffee in the
desperate hope that this will help,
Its nothing, Lizzie, Im fine.
Yes, and my mother was a kangaroo! Lizzie observed
caustically.
That makes me laugh but the release merely means that the tears
begin to fall.

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Here, Jane. Take two of these. Tina said handing me a couple

of small pills and a glass of fruit juice which she picked up on her
way past the serving table.
I do as Im told, feeling a complete fool, and fight for control.
Once I am more mistress of myself, Lizzie suggests that we go back
to her room.
Now, Jane. She said as Tina closes the door behind us,
Whats this all about? I thought you were enjoying yourself
I diagnose a nasty attack of post-flu blues. Tina said, stepping
into the breach, Its amazing what you can imagine in that state.
How did you sleep last night, Jane?
Not very well, I had a nasty nightmare and then couldnt get
back to sleep again. I confessed, I dont want to go into details about
it it would be too much.
That sounds about par for the course. The pills should help. I
was waiting for this to happen.
Were you, Tina? Lizzie asked surprised
Oh yes, it is perfectly normal to have an attack of the blues
after flu, especially as serious a bout as you had. The only thing you
need to do, Jane, is forget any of the stupid thoughts which you had
after the nightmare hard though that may seem. Tina replied,
giving me a very straight look its almost as though she can read
my mind. Now I suggest you go and wash your face, take a deep
breath and then well go shopping.
She escorts me back to my room, following me in and pulling
the door to after her.
He wont change his mind, Jane. She said softly, Giles never
messes around. If he said he wants to marry you, its because hes
thought about it seriously and he means it.
How did you know thats what I was thinking, Tina? I asked
starkly wanting to believe her and yet not daring to.
Its about the only thing which would knock you off balance
this much, Jane. Anyway, Anna said she thought it might happen
sooner or later and had a quiet word with me yesterday.
Oh. I feel very silly and juvenile.
Id better go and get Lizzie sorted out will you be okay now?
.

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Whether its the pills or Tinas words, I dont know, but I do

feel less fragile and although Im not precisely on form, Im a lot
better by the time we get into town.
Lizzie has heard about a factory near the old mill ruins which
manufactures the beautiful inlaid work for which the town is famous.
Mind you, I didnt know it was famous for it until I got here, but, as I
am discovering, Im pretty ignorant in so many ways. We have
trouble finding the place and, after a considerable amount of is it up
this way? the map says it should be around here somewhere
Maybe it is down this road Tina goes into a shop and asks for
directions. Thank goodness we have one Italian speaker with us!
When we finally arrive at our destination, were shown round
the workshops where they make the stuff Its fascinating seeing
how they cut out the tiny little shapes which they use to make the
pictures from the most wafer-thin slices of coloured wood. Lizzie
falls in love with an occasional table and decides that shell buy it.
The company are quite happy to ship it back to England for her so
while she is organising that, I have a look round at the other items in
the showroom. Tinas busy being chatted up by the salesman who
showed us round she seems to pick up men wherever we go I
dont know how she does it!
I so want to get something for Giles but I dont know what. I
cant find anything which I think is remotely suitable for him I do
see a charming little trinket box which I fall in love with it has a
delightful picture of a lute entwined with some sheets of music and I
decide that Ill get it for myself a reminder of a lovely week. Well,
mostly lovely.
We stop in one of the wonderful ice cream caf places to
celebrate Lizzies purchase well, it is as good an excuse as any.
Ive never had ice cream like the delicious product they sell here I
gather that they make it on site.
Lizzie, I said as we tucked into our ices, I want to get
something for Giles but cant come up with any ideas at all. Can you
suggest anything?
Mmmmmm, let me think. She said, spooning chocolate ice
into her mouth What colour is his new kitchen?
That stumps me, is it white or was there a pale wood

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Neutral is the best I can do, Lizzie. I didnt look at it that

closely. Its very modern though the ultimate in modern, in fact.
Thats no good then. She said, I was thinking about that
lovely bright blue and yellow china they do you know the stuff with
lemons on it.
No, that wouldnt go at all. I thought maybe something inlaid,
but I couldnt see anything in the factory which grabbed me. Oh it is
difficult!
Thats men for you! You would insist on taking him on, Jane.
Lizzie teased. But I wouldnt worry too much, you can always take
him some wine thats always acceptable and then he could share it
with you. Hed like that, I know.
We get back to the hotel early afternoon, after having lunch in
the English club. It sounds terribly colonial and tea plantation-ish but
is really only a bar/restaurant cum information centre. Tina insists
that Lizzie must rest if we are going to visit Anna and Simon tonight.
Would you mind going to sit with Lizzie, Jane.
No, not at all.
As I go down to Lizzies room, I see Tina disappear out of the
main hotel doors.
Wheres Tina going, Lizzie? I asked as I sit down by the
window in her room. I just saw her going out somewhere.
Shes meeting that Italian she found down at the Roman palace
the other day. Lizzie revealed with a grin. Its nothing serious but
shes have a good time whizzing around on the back of his scooter.
Im not sure if he realises its not serious, though. Tina is something
of a flirt.
Coming from you, Lizzie, thats pretty rich! I retorted and she
smiles in her wicked way, saying that it was only a bit of fun. You
are supposed to be lying down and resting, Lizzie I dont want to
get into trouble with Tina.
I am resting. Jane, are you feeling better than you were this
morning? I was quite worried but Tina was convinced that its just
the aftermath of the flu.
Yes, I suppose it could well have been that. That along with
engagement paranoia.
Engagement paranoia? What on earth do you mean, Jane?

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Just a very bad attack of hes bound to change his mind itis.
I owned up It was horrible and now seems so very silly.
But quite natural Ill warn you now, Jane, if you are
expecting Giles to change his mind, youll have to wait a long time.
Ive never know anyone so intractable as he is once hes decided on a
course of action. Im glad it wasnt anything serious, Jane. Now that
Ive found you, I worry that Ill lose you. That sounds very old
ladyish and I dont like that either.
While Ive got you lying down, we may as well talk about me
moving in, Lizzie.
She chuckled at.
Im going to have to find a job. Any ideas?
I wont argue with that, Jane Ive been giving it some
thought. I might possibly have come up with a potential job for you.
But you dont have to go for it if youd prefer something more
structured.
Structured? I asked, what on earth can she mean.
Well, normal then. What it is, Jane a friend of mine,
Bernadette Rivers you may know the name, shes written quite a
few books when shes writing she dictates her books onto audio
tapes and then has a secretary to transcribe them Bernies got a
serious problem in one wrist which makes it painful using a keyboard
so cant type her own stuff any more. I was chatting to her the other
week and she mentioned that her secretary, Jodie, whos been with
her for ever, is having to move to Kent to help look after her sisters
children. Her sister has some horrid condition not sure if its MS
something like that anyway, so Bernies looking for a replacement
from the middle of January. It is mostly audio work with some copy
typing of amendments so not what you are used to. But Bernies
great fun.
Lizzie that sounds really interesting what sort of books does
she write?
Murder mysteries there might well be a certain amount of
research involved as well, if that sort of thing appeals to you. I know
she moans about having to find out about things. If youre interested,
Ill have a word with her when we get back and you can meet. Its far

187

more important with that sort of job that you get on with the person
concerned itd be hell otherwise.
Thanks, Id like that. Does she live in Bath?
Oh yes over Larkhall way. Jane, have you given any thought
to when you and Giles want to get married?
You must be joking, Lizzie! He had hardly proposed before
you whisked me off to Sorrento!
Thats a fair point Jane, Im not going to go all puritanical
on you, if you want him to stay, thatll be fine.
Thanks, Lizzie. We havent got round to discussing that sort of
thing either, though I must register with a doctor and get some form
of contraception organised.
Sensible girl!
The other thing I want to discuss, Lizzie, is how much I pay
you for my keep.
Dont be silly, Jane. You dont need to do that.
Oh yes I do. And if you wont be sensible about it, I shall just
have to re-think staying in the house.
Lizzie fights hard but so do I, and in the end she has to concede
my point we dont talk amounts but the principle is established.
Simon drives up to get us at about seven. Their flats walking
distance from the hotel but in the dark, the road is a rather dangerous
as there is no pavement and the cars do whiz past very fast and with a
wheelchair it could be dangerous. Lizzie manages the stairs up to
their flat without too much difficulty Ive noticed that when she
really wants to do something, she drags reserves of willpower from
somewhere.
Their lounge is lovely three sides of windows looking down to
the sea. Anna is delighted to see us and glows with it.
Jane, Ive got something for you. She said as we walk in,
waving a piece of paper at me.
Puzzled, I take the paper and look at it, its an e-mail .
Its from Gary, my old boss, Jane, you read it. She said and
dances off to show Lizzie and Tina round the flat.
I stand there reading the message,

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Hi Anna, Hope all is well with you. Went to a meeting on a new

project today and met up with someone who mentioned your
name to me. His name is Giles Brewster of Brewster Toms
hes acting for the purchasers and Im on the other side. After
the meeting he came over and introduced himself and mentioned
that his fiance is staying in Sorrento somewhere near you.
From the way he said fiance I would hazard a guess that the
engagement is a fairly recent arrangement. I recognised the
signs, the man is clearly besotted and missing her whoever she
is he didnt actually tell me her name. Just thought I would
drop you a quick line so that you can pass on the glad news to
whoever she is I expect she is as bad, at least I hope she is.
He seems a nice guy. Ive got his e-mail address so if she wants
to send a message to me I am happy to forward it.
Please give Simon my best Sally sends her love as usual.
Gary
The computers in there if you want to use it, Jane. Simon
said with an understanding grin, pointing to a room across the
hallway. Its hell being apart. When Anna and I got engaged, I was
in Bournemouth and she was in Bath and I dont think Ive ever been
through such a traumatic period. It tears you apart, doesnt it?
Yes, Simon, it does. I thought it was just me being silly.
That makes him laugh and he very kindly shows me where the
computer is, sitting ready for me to compose a quick e-mail.
You know how to use these things, dont you? he asked and
I quickly confirm that, yes, I do.
Gary, Weve not met though I understand that you are likely to
be at the Law Soc. Christmas dinner with Sally, in which case
we will meet then, but Ive heard a lot about you from Anna.
Thank you for passing on the information about Giles. You are
quite correct in your assumptions, we have only been engaged
for a short time and this week is proving something of a
marathon. If you could pass on the following message to him, I
would be grateful. Thank you, Jane Mortimer

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Giles, I understand you are working hard glad to hear it. Now
that youre an engaged man, you should be working towards
holding down a steady job instead of flitting around playing at
it! To paraphrase someone Im pretty fond of it is probably
a good thing Bristol and Sorrento are a long way apart!
Though I have to say I would give quite a lot for them not to be
so far away from each other right this moment.
We are having a lovely time here Tina has met up with an
Italian who whisks her around the countryside on the back of his
scooter and is having a lot of fun. Shes just playing Lizzie
and I are not at all sure if he knows this or not!
We are at Annas tonight for dinner and I cant write for long
as the food is about to be put on the table. Oh there is so much I
want to say and yet I cant find the words .. Giles, Im doing
what you told me to do. Ive got to go . Jane x
I hesitate for a moment before sending it.. then press the key
and it goes. Its Saturday so theres no way Giles is going to get a
message before Monday at the earliest. I hope he doesnt get annoyed
with me for sending such a personal message via someone he hardly
knows.

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21.

GOING HOME

The engines on the plane are revving now; well be taking off
soon. Now that Im on my way home I can hardly wait to see Giles.
Twenty-four hours and Ill be with him.
Its dark outside the
aircraft. I stare out through the glass at the lights of Naples, thinking
about the last couple of days.
Dinner with Anna and Simon had been delightful. Just for a
change, so she said, shed cooked a real English beef roast complete
with Yorkshire puddings! It was extremely tasty though it did make
me feel a little homesick Simon had commented that they should
have English visitors more often Lizzie was on form performing
to an appreciative audience with Tina and I looking on like the doting
parents of a precocious child. Wed not intended to stay late as we
were going to be off just after ten for our trip to Capri on Sunday but
somehow it was nearly one in the morning by the time we got back to
the hotel. If anything, Tina and I were the tired ones, Lizzie was
buzzing.
Despite the late night, the three of us had been bright-eyed and
bushy-tailed on Sunday morning when Simon and Anna arrived to
collect us. To my complete amazement, Anna handed me a reply
from Giles these solicitors work very strange hours well have to
see about that, Mr Brewster! Gary had just forwarded the whole thing
to Anna with a comment that he thought it would be appreciated. It
seems to me as though Gary has got Giles sussed.
Gary, Thank you so much for forwarding Janes message to me
and for contacting Anna in the first place. I owe you a drink! If
you could pass the following back, I should be grateful. It is
appalling the way these women get their claws into us!
I understand that we have mutual friends in Jo and Alastair
Liddington. Perhaps you and your good lady would like to come
over to my place for a meal one evening. Jane is new to Bath.
Shes met Jo and Alastair but not very many other people.
Thanks again Giles

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Jane Glad you are enjoying yourself and keeping the first rule
of any betrothed woman (i.e. obeying her man). So Tina is
making an impact on the local male population, is she?
Pretty fond, eh? I shall have something to say about that one
when you get back, I think. Somehow wait until I get my hands
on you doesnt convey the right message or does it?
I had hoped to go with Dad to meet you when you fly in on
Tuesday but have to be in Manchester Dad will have a letter
for you when he meets you just a little something by way of a
welcome home - but I intend to see you Wednesday afternoon
and will welcome you in person. Ask Lizzie if she would mind
digging out a toothbrush for me, would you? Giles
Lizzie had teased me mercilessly about the daft look I had on
my face as I read his reply. His last line puzzled me but when I
showed it to Lizzie she gave me a very amused look and said that it
was family shorthand he was intending to stay the night. Though
she added that she appreciated the way hed put it . would she
mind going on to point out that Giles was always a gentleman,
even when he was bloody annoying! I pretended I hadnt heard her
aside to Tina that at least it would save on the laundry if he shared my
room. Just wait until I get my hands on that man!
We had a little trouble down at the harbour getting Lizzies
wheelchair onto the boat and after a considerable amount of argy
bargy, she announced that shed had enough and would walk across
the gangplank. It had entertained the Italians on the dock, if nothing
else! The weather was not as sunny as it has been and I was glad of
the light jacket Id taken with me for the outing I keep forgetting its
December. I loved sailing along the coast and seeing the Roman
palace and the fishing village from the sea. Simon was very
knowledgeable about the place and, as the boat chugged round the
island, he pointed out all the interesting sights. The sun had come
out as we approached Capri lending a patina of gold to the island it
looked magical.
We landed at the main harbour, where there was a people carrier
waiting for us.

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I hadnt really thought about it before, but it surprised me to find

that the two main towns on the island are nowhere near the coast
Capri itself and Anacapri are both up in the hills. Mind you, most
places on the island are up in the hills! The roads are all narrow
switchbacks winding their way up to the plateaux on which the towns
appear to be constructed, at least that was the impression I got. The
views were tremendous I could see why so many famous people
want to live here. I dont think Id like it much though; even though it
was December, there were hoards of tourists there and in the summer
it must be simply heaving with them. I wouldnt like that.
Id had a long talk with Simo n while we walked around the
gardens belonging to some German or was it Swedish museum. Hes
a really understanding sort of person and clearly Anna had told him a
little of my history. It was easy talking to him and I found I could ask
him questions I would hesitate to ask most men. It had been
bothering me that I didnt understand how Giles thinks and Simon
was able to explain, in part, how the protective male bit works none
of the men Ive known before have been afflicted with that and I dont
want to put my foot in it. From what he said, I gather that hed had
similar difficulties with Anna like me an independent, working
woman used to solving her own problems. He gave me a lot to think
about.
Every now and then, I remember, Id got out the e-mail and reread it. Touched by the way Giles was keen to form social links for
me and stomach-churningly contemplating Wednesday night.
Anna had explained that Gary stays at his house during the week
and at Sallys at weekends Id like to know how they work it. It
must take some organising and Im starting to wonder if Im for ever
going to have the wrong clothes in the wrong place.
Monday had been a quiet sort of day, Tina had disappeared with
her man neither Lizzie nor I have been able to get even his name out
of her; Lizzie and I had taken ourselves off into town for some last
minute shopping. Id got a couple of bottles of wine for Giles in the
end. The owner of the hotel recommended a little wine shop where
they sell local wines and where one can try the wares talk about a
welcome! The proprietors greeted us like long lost family, it was a
miracle that I escaped still able to walk in a straight line.

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We didnt have to be at the airport until three this afternoon, so

Id been able to walk down to the fishing village with Anna this
morning. Im going to miss her and I think she will me she was
saying that she has made a few friends here in Sorrento and is
ecstatically happy with Simon but I got the general feeling that she
lacks female company. Ive got details of her address and e-mail so
will definitely keep in touch, though at the moment I dont know how
I shall manage it as after next week I wont have access to a
computer, but doubtless I shall work something out. Shed got quite
tearful at the airport but Simon was obviously accustomed to this and
almost absent-mindedly handed her the tissues he had ready in his
pocket, whilst protectively putting his arm around her. They make a
wonderful couple.
The plane races along the runway and takes to the air Im coming
home, Giles !
******
It takes ages to get through all the formalities at Heathrow ; its
nearly eleven by the time we emerge into the arrivals area, Joseph is
there, thank goodness, because were all shattered. Im really glad
that I already know Giles cant be here I wouldnt have coped with
the disappointment of expecting to see him and then him not being
here. As we get into the car, Joseph hands me a large envelope my
letter! All the way home, I hug it to myself. Its too dark in the car to
read it. Thank goodness the heating in the car is efficient, the
temperature here in England is decidedly unpleasant after Italy.
We dont get back to Bath until nearly two theres an accident
on the motorway which means we sit in traffic for an exceedingly
frustrating half an hour. However, we eventually get home. As soon
as decently possible, I take myself and my luggage up to my room
and, barely taking time to remove my coat, sit down on the bed to
read my letter. Ive not seen Giles writing before; it gives me a
funny warm feeling, which in turn makes me laugh at myself for
being such a romantic fool.
Ivy Lodge

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Friday
My dearest Jane,
It seemed unfair to expect you to sit down and write for my benefit
and for me not to reciprocate. Not to mention that it will help me
cope with your absence. How you can have become so much a part of
my life so quickly I do not know. On the one hand it is wonderful and
on the other sheer hell. Im never going to let you go away like this
again, you realise that, dont you?
The statue you gave me has kept me sane. I have taken to carrying it
(extremely carefully) in my briefcase from home to the office and back
again. I just hope Pam, my secretary, hasnt caught on to my
derangement she might start looking for another job! But enough
of my whinging.
As I mentioned when Lizzie suggested I go on the trip with you, a
couple of projects Ive been working on were due to come to a head
this week and I was quite right. Ive been working silly hours trying
to get the documentation finalised. Oh Jane youll understand what
it was like if I tell you that Id sort out one lot of amendments and give
them back to the client, then hed change his mind and send them
back with a different set of alterations this happened four or five
times. Clients! Do you think I would get away with justifiable
homicide? And when you think that this happened on two jobs at the
same time well, it is a minor miracle that I am still sane. Relatively
speaking, that is.
Dad has taken pity on me and suggested I go home to his for the
weekend and I shall probably take him up on it, at least for some of
the time. Being here without you all weekend would be difficult. How
does the song go? Ive grown accustomed to your face your
breathing out and breathing in. Oh Jane, what have you done to me?
I lie in bed remembering you sleeping in my arms and I miss you so
much it hurts.
Good news on the credit card front they have agreed to settle for a
final payment which is less than the anticipated amount and I have
sent off a cheque, so that is off your back now. I was half expecting
them to cavil and demand the full amount of interest but it seems that
a note was made on your record of how the debt arose and you have
hit the sympathy button. I didnt realise that credit card companies

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had one of those! I have kept careful records, my lady, and will
present accounts as instructed when I next see you.
Your landlord was disappointed to hear that you were leaving as I
gather that you have been a model tenant. He was a little less than
positive on the subject of the deposit but I stressed how carefully you
have looked after the flat and I think well get away with it. He will
want to inspect before you move out and I fully intend to be present
on that occasion - I get the feeling he is the sort of chap who will
behave better if there is a man around forgive my sexism.
Had a meeting this morning on a new project over Bath way. Im
acting for the developer whos buying the land and we met up with the
seller and his solicitor to thrash out some basics. Youll never guess the solicitor concerned was Gary Blackford Annas old boss. I had
a quick word with him after the meeting and said that you were
staying with Anna. He was very friendly nice chap. I referred to
you as my fiance (which was a first). I hope he didnt notice, but
that clobbered me emotionally. I daresay Ill get used to it.
Saturday night late
I spent the most relaxing day at Dads today, listening to Aunt Joan
singing your praises and going on about how wonderfully happy you
and I are going to be. Dad couldnt stand it after a couple of hours
and went and played a round of golf for him to do that is pretty
desperate, I can tell you! If your ears were burning that is why. I
dont quite know how you managed to make such a tremendous
impression on Aunt Joan in such a short time, though, come to think
of it, you had a similar effect on me youre not a witch or something
are you? Ive read some interesting details about witches and how
they take over a mans soul forcing him to comply with their
wonderfully erotic desires or is that merely me being optimistic?
Ive come home to Ivy Lodge as there are some things which I need to
do a working mans chores are never done, you know. The washing
just does not do itself. I must be doing something wrong.
It is nearly Sunday now, so I have only got Monday and Tuesday to
get through before you are back within reach. I had hoped to be able
to get up to Heathrow to meet you when you get back but my guardian
angel was obviously on a tea break when one of my clients rang up

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demanding a meeting on Tuesday afternoon and a follow up meeting

on Wednesday morning in Manchester! Unfortunately, I wasnt
around when he rang and my beloved secretary told him there was
nothing in my diary - for a very good reason there was nothing in my
diary - but there wasnt a lot I could do after that. I daresay, shell
recover. However, I have taken Wednesday afternoon off (large lines
crossing it out in the diary) and hope to be with you at some stage
then. Ill give this letter to Dad to give you when he meets you off the
plane. Im seeing him on Tuesday morning before I go off to
Manchester.
It has been cold, grey and miserable here today typical foul winters
day. I hope you are having better weather where you are. When I
checked the weather for Sorrento on the internet yesterday, it said
warm but with the odd shower. Anyway, I have rambled on for long
enough now and will close this. Ive got to check my e-mail before I
go to bed theres some information Im waiting for which should be
coming from a man who is currently in Singapore and the times are
all to pot. I shall bid you a goodnight.
Postscript : Jane! You darling/wicked lady! I just checked my inbox
and what did I find? An e-mail from Gary Blackford enclosing your
message Im not the only daft solicitor working on a Saturday
evening! Talk about stunned! I have replied but dont know if youre
seeing Anna/Simon so am uncertain whether youll get my reply or
not. Anyway, Im off to bed now.
Sunday
I have spent a quiet day doing the chores and dreaming about the day
when you are here to scrub the loo - no, I didnt mean that, what was
it Dad told me once dont put the woman off by suggesting you only
want her for housework. And if you take me seriously I shall have to
convince you very emphatically that this is not the case. Should you
be wondering, I have a woman who does twice a week.
I shall be off to Exeter tomorrow (Dad gave me your keys, by the way)
and will pop into your flat to check everything and pick up the post. I
wont bother passing it on to you until I see you. I hope that is okay.

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Im hoping that Lizzie read between the lines of my e-mail and has
okayed the concept of me staying on Wednesday night Im pretty
sure she will have done sorry I had to make the suggestion so
publicly but I didnt want to turn up on Wednesday and drop a
bombshell on her it would not have been fair. I doubt very much
shed be puritanical about it but it is her house and she might not like
the thought of her godson shacking up with her daughter under her
roof before they are lawfully joined. Thats if it is okay with you, of
course and if it is not, then I shall be a good boy and go home
without sulking I promise you.
While ironing my shirts (please note how domesticated this man is) I
found myself thinking over something that Aunt Joan mentioned
yesterday. Jane, its not a major thing, but have you thought about
the possibility of children? I know were doing our best at the
moment to ensure that this is not a likelihood (which reminds me I
must go shopping before Wednesday) but once things are a little more
settled maybe we could discuss it? I had not given it any thought until
she mentioned it not entirely sure what I think about it as you
can probably see.
When you get back, we must look into the concept of engagement
rings have you any preference for style? I think the Kohinoor
diamond would be a little flamboyant personally, something slightly
more discrete might be preferable.
Jane, my dearest, whilst writing this I have sunk a reasonable amount
of Scotch so am waxing lyrical an unusual event for me as you have
probably deduced. I run a very grave risk of becoming slushy so shall
restrict myself to saying that I love you more than I have ever loved
anyone in my life and go to bed.
Monday night
Exeter was thrilling. I dont know how I stand the excitement
sometimes. Your flat is fine. I picked up the post and have sorted it
as follows:
Bills (which I have carried off with me) and, I think a pay slip
Offers of credit cards, car insurance and double glazing (which I
have binned)

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Im afraid there were no personal letters from grieving ex-lovers

what am I saying, I am extremely relieved that there were no letters
from any lovers ex or otherwise!
However it has been a gruelling day and I am tired I went straight
back to the office to find yet another complication with the
Manchester job and didnt get away until gone eight and then there
was an accident on the A4 so it took an age getting back here.
Forgive me, but I shall keep this short and wend my way to bed soon.
All being well, I should be with you by 2.30 on Wednesday I will
phone if it is going to be otherwise. Jane, my darling lady, I am
counting the hours.
Yours now and always, Giles

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22.

GILES & THE TOOTHBRUSH

I wake feeling wonderful clutching the letter which I was still

re-reading when I fell asleep. I think over what I learned from Simon
and reflect on Giles. He is non-emotional to a ridiculous degree
normally but this letter shows a side of him which, although I knew it
was there, doesnt show very often.
As he says at one point, he
doesnt often get what was it he said . slushy . silly sod!
The hours from now until he arrives will seem longer than the
week in Italy. A glance at the clock soon puts me right on that one
it is nearly eleven in the morning it must have been nearly four
a.m. when I fell into bed so maybe its not so terrible that I have
stayed in bed all this time.
Oh come on Jane, stop arguing with yourself.
I get up and, after a quick visit to the bathroom, go down to the
kitchen in my dressing gown to see if there is any coffee going. I
should have known that Tina would be there looking as fresh as a
daisy. That woman never sleeps from what I can see.
Morning, Jane, sleep well? she asked brightly and I confirm
that I slept though the euphoria of waking up is wearing off and I
am starting to feel a little shattered after yesterdays long day.
Dont you ever get tired, Tina? I asked as I sip my mug of
very welcome coffee.
No, not often.
I feel incredibly old and decrepit.
I thought brunch would be sensible today at about one
she said But thats a few hours away, would you like a piece of toast
to keep you going until then?
Yes, please, Tina.
Ill give you a set of towels for Giles. she sai d as she passes
me the butter and a plate while the bread toasts. Do you think youll
be eating here tonight?
Ive no idea, Tina. Well have to ask him when he arrives.
When I have eaten my toast, she sends me upstairs to shower
and dress (honestly she is worse than a nanny at times!) and by the
time I have done that to my satisfaction, and unpacked my suitcase,
its lunchtime or should that be brunchtime. Ive got the journal
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and Giless bottles of wine ready on the table in my room all ready to
give him.
Lizzie is on form and making all sorts of plans. Shes already
rung Bernie and suggested the possibility of me working for her,
arranging for Bernie to come round here tomorrow afternoon so that
we can meet. The week away has rejuvenated her and as I sit waiting
in the Pink Room, she takes the phone off to her bedroom to call all
sorts of people about arrangements for various things.
I try to read but cant concentrate and end up staring out of the
window at the wintry landscape beyond. The trees are all bare and a
lot of the shrubs leafless now. The sky is a chilly pale blue with white
clouds and clearly theres quite a wind blowing as the clouds are
scudding across the sky at a rate of knots. It looks cold out there.
After the delightful balmy temperatures in Italy, the English winter
comes as a shock.
I hear the door open, Have you made your calls, Lizzie, I said
without turning round.
Now that is no way to welcome a man home from fighting
dragons.
I leap to my feet, turning rapidly and being swept into his arms.
Yes, it has done you good. He said some time later, holding
me away from him so that he can inspect. You look a lot better; I
think you even have a suntan.
You look pretty good too.
Im not joking either. Hes wearing a smart suit and looking
every inch the successful executive I do love it when he looks like
that.
Thank you so much for your letter, Giles.
He looks bashful, reminding me how difficult it is for him
expressing his emotions.
It was strange, Jane. Ive never written that sort of thing before
just letting the words come like that. After Id given it to Dad, I felt
exposed. It wasnt particularly comfortable.
But its safe to expose yourself to me. I can see him thinking
about that one. Marriage is all about trusting someone with yourself.
Ive got your journal in my room youll read my thoughts in that.

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Tina comes in before he can reply, shes carrying a tea tray and
tells us that Lizzie will be along shortly.
I hear you had a good time in Italy, Tina. Giles said and she
grins broadly. You are a wicked woman!
Oh, I dont know. She said with a saucy smile, I made no
promises and therefore broke none. How are you?
I hear
congratulations are in order.
Thank you, Tina. Im fine, absolutely fine. Has she behaved
herself? he asked his arm round my shoulder; he hasnt let go of me
since he came in the room.
Oh yes, she was very good. Tina said with a conspiratorial
smile in my direction.
This does not go unobserved by my beloved and I can see by the
lifting of an eyebrow that I shall have to answer a few questions later.
Giles! How lovely to see you. Lizzie said, shes on her sticks
and Tina immediately starts fussing. Oh, dont go on so, Tina.
Now before we get comfortable, are you two going to be here
for dinner tonight? Lizzie asked, adding to my embarrassment Your
toothbrush is all ready, Giles.
Thank you, Lizzie, he replied without even turning a hair,
No, I thought wed go out for dinner if thats all right with you, there
are things we need to talk about.
Where are you thinking of going?
Lizzie asked as she
signalled to me to pour the tea.
I thought that Italian restaurant in the Podium. I like the food
there thought it might remind Jane of her recent experiences. He
said smiling at me and making my backbone melt. But before that,
Ive some business to go through with Jane. Can we take over the
dining room for an hour or so, Lizzie?
When weve drunk tea with Lizzie and she has regaled him with
tales of our holiday, we retreat to the dining room. I run off to my
bedroom to get the journal and by the time I get to the dining room,
hes set out the paperwork he wants me to deal with. Much as the
physical electricity between us is palpable, we both apply ourselves to
the matters in hand. He hands over the paperwork relating to the
finalisation of the credit card debt and I flinch when I see the final
amount just over 1,500. I shall have to find that from somewhere

202

 . He gives me the bills which he collected from the flat and then
proceeds to tell me that as, most of the telephone bill consists of his
calls and internet use while I was ill, he will take care of that one,
only leaving me with the electricity bill which is minute. My pay slip
is as I expected which is a relief.
I sit there working out where I am financially while he watches
me, his elbows on the table, his face inscrutable.
Jane. He said eventually.
I look up from the figures on the page in front of me.
I respect your desire to clear this debt yourself and admire you
for wanting to do it but I cant just sit back and watch you cripple
yourself financially over it
I wait to hear what is coming next, fighting down the impulse to
tell him where to put his money this is my problem and Ill deal
with it..
Please, let me settle it for you it is not any great amount and I
wont notice it.
My instinctive reaction is to fight and refuse him but the
conversation I had with Simon springs into my mind. I hesitate, is
my pride in clearing it all myself so important that I have to make an
issue out of it? If Giles is going to be my husband, then I must learn
to work with him and he with me if I dont give him any ground
how can I expect him to give me any? A little voice in the back of my
head mutters about doormats I think about that for a moment. No,
Im not being a doormat.
Can you tell me why it is so important to you, Giles? I asked
and watch as he struggles to express his feelings.
I think its because I want to help you, I feel were in this
together, Jane. I dont want to tread on your pride and I know how
much it means to you to do this yourself, but youve repaid the vast
majority of the money and we both know you could clear the rest.
But is there any real need for you to do it? We cant move on until
this is cleared up and I want to move on.
Muttering a silent thank you to Simon for his wisdom, I agree to
let the matter drop. Giless delight is a reward in itself and I f eel
strangely free now that I have made this decision. One day, I might
tell him about my talk with Simon, but not today. However, I remind

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him that hell have Lizzie to contend with she is determined to pay
it, and mentioned it while we were away.
Giles looks at his watch it is just on four oclock. Shall we go
and explore some jewellers shops? he said with an air of subdued
excitement.
Popping in to tell Lizzie were going out, I run to get my coat
and shoes on. He drives us to the car park near Queen Square and
we wander off into the streets of Bath. Arm in arm we walk along; oh
its so good being with him again! Theres some argument over what
sort of ring we are going to have Giles shows a disturbing tendency
to go for the most expensive ring in the shop but I think thats just
sheer reaction. We finally agree on a simple solitaire set in platinum
and gold. I have fairly small hands and large rings dont look right. I
want to get him a ring but we dont see one we like so that will have
to wait. They have the ring in my size and the purchase is made on
the spot.
Can I wear it now?
No, not yet. He said tantalisingly.
Oh Giles!
Please? he pleaded Wont be long, I promise.
Reluctantly, I allow him to put it away in its little box and
watch as he stows it safely in the inside pocket of his jacket, under his
coat.
You dont want to change before dinner, do you? I like that
outfit youve got on.
Im wearing the crimson skirt and jumper which I wore when I
went to Ivy Lodge. I know he likes it and wore it specially it is
also warm and I cant help being grateful that his favourite of my
outfits to date is sensible for this weather.
No. Im fine like this. What time do you want to eat?
I thought about seven thirty. Shall we go and have a drink
somewhere until then?
He guides me down a side street to a wine bar and we go in.
Over a glass of wine, we talk about all sorts of silly things
Italy, his secretary - inconsequential things, our eyes saying more than
our words. Just before seven thirty, he looks at his watch and helps
me into my coat.

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Dinner, my lady. He said, taking my arm as we walk down to

the Podium.
The Italian restaurant is on the first floor and just for fun, we
take the escalator instead of the stairs. The waitress comes over to
greet us and, to my surprise, Giles says that he has a table booked and
gives his name. The waitress checks her book and smiles.
This way, please. She said, leading us to the table in the
middle of the window. Then I begin to see what is going on. There is
a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the table and a bottle of champagne.
I thought we ought to do something special to celebrate our
engagement, Jane. Giles said as the waitress presents us with our
menus and quietly congratulates us.
As she leaves us, he gets out the little box and gently taking my
hand, puts my ring on my finger. He doesnt say anything, he doesnt
have to his eyes say it all for him. My vision blurs as I look at the
diamond twinkling on my finger and I grasp his hand, partly for
security.
Oh Giles, I struggle for words and fall back on the bland,
This is a lovely surprise. Thank you.
But he understands.
May as well start as I intend to go on, he said prosai cally,
picking up his menu, What do you fancy to eat?
You.
I enjoy watching him as he recovers from the shock of that
obviously unexpected comment.
Later, you daft woman! he said, swallowing hard.
Nice to know I can shake him occasionally.
Carrying my flowers, and high on a mixture of champagne,
good food and pure unadulterated happiness, we walk back to the car,
my arm tucked in his.
Jane, have you given any thought to when we might have this
wedding?
We have already decided that it is absurd trying to keep it quiet
and hes going to put an announcement in the paper at the end of the
week.
Soon, I think, dont you? Theres no reason why not after all.
Sometime in the New Year?

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Sounds good to me. Ive been thinking, Jane, I know I left it to

you, but Id like to do it at the church in the village. You know how I
feel about the whole faith thing and Ive been a fairly regular attendee
with Lizzie many times over the years and I like Peter Hammond. I
know hes married divorcees before so that wouldnt be a stumbling
block. Do you mind a church wedding?
Not in the least, Anna told me about the sensitive way Peter
took their wedding. Id like that and it would please Lizzie no end,
Im sure.
Good. How would it be if we decide the bits which are
important to us, and let Lizzie organise the rest shell enjoy that,
especially as the bride is her beloved daughter.
We arrive back at Lizzie House just before ten. Tina lets us in,
explaining that Lizzie has gone to bed and that she is off to her flat
now so if we want any nightcaps well have to get them ourselves and
can we please turn off all the lights except the little one in the main
hall.
Carrying mugs of coffee, we make our way up to my room.
Im trying to work out if Lizzie is genuinely tired or if shes being
tactful. Either way, I am grateful. I daresay I shall get used to the
concept of going to bed with Giles, but tonight I dont really want an
audience.
There is a toothbrush, pristine in its wrapper, lying on the
pillows of the bed. At the sight of it, we both dissolve in laughter,
dissipating the slight tension which has materialised since we entered
the house.
Now thats an original way of handing your daughter over to a
man. He commented, holding it up for my inspection. Serves me
right for putting it in the e-mail, I suppose.
What time do you have to be at the office, tomorrow, Giles? I
asked rooting in the wardrobe for a hanger he can put his suit on.
By ten-thirty at the latest, I am afraid. But at least well get a
lie in. He said untying his tie and folding it.
I go over and take it from him, putting it down on the dressing
table, and start to unbutton his shirt. Ive got halfway down, when he
reaches out and puts his arms round me, kissing me very gently,
almost playing with me it drives me wild.

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Good intentions disappear his trousers get left on the floor

along with my skirt and a trail of discarded clothing makes a pathway
to the bed. I do remember to put my ring carefully in its box, I dont
want to scratch him with it, but that is my last coherent thought for
some considerable time.
We sleep as we did before, my head snuggled into his shoulder
and his arm around me and dont stir until there is a discrete knock at
the door - daylight is showing round the curtains so it must be
morning.
I sit up, grasping the duvet round me, as he groans slightly.
Come in.
I dont remember either of us locking the door last night and
Tina comes in with a tray of tea. Completely ignoring the clothes all
over the floor she announces that its eight oclock and that breakfast
will be at available until nine if we want it, before opening the
curtains and leaving the room.
Thank you, Tina. I said and just about manage to suppress my
giggles until she is out of the door.
That is no way to go on, you daft woman! said the man at my
side with a grin.
Oh Giles, you should have seen her not a sign that she even
noticed the clothes strewn everywhere.
Are they? he asked, peering over the side of the bed and
taking in the full enormity of the view, Good God, we did spread
them around a bit didnt we?
I get out of bed and go over to get the mugs of tea, steaming on
the table by the window. As I carry them back to bed, I notice Giles
watching me appreciatively, and blush.
Just enjoying the view. He said as I hurriedly get back under
the duvet.
You never looked at me like that in Taunton. I said, handing
him his mug.
No, it took considerable effort believe me, but I worked at it. It
was neither the time nor the place, Jane. Just how would you have
felt in the bath if Id been sitting there with my tongue hanging out,
eh?
But surely

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Jane, you are an attractive woman, as I think I told you before,

and I am a perfectly normal red blooded man. Even when you have
flu and havent washed for a week, you have the ability to turn me
on.
Oh.
Ive a good mind to adapt the concept of a swear box and fine
you every time you say that in reply to one of my profound
statements, you know, Jane. He said thoughtfully, Only I dont
think Ill charge money.
He puts his mug down beside the bed and reaches for me.
Giles! Youll spill tea everywhere!
Then put the mug down, you daft woman!
Despite everything, we still manage to get downstairs before
nine for breakfast. Okay, so we have to run, but we still make it.
Jane, Ive got meetings after work tonight. Giles told me as
we munched on our cereal. Im not going to be able to get over until
about nine at the earliest. Do you want me to come over then or
should I go to Ivy Lodge?
If that is an example of the sort of muddled thinking which you
are going to do all day, sir, I dont relish the thought of being one of
your clients. What do you think?
Ill get something to eat lunchtime then any chance of some
sandwiches or something when I get here?
I daresay well find an old crust of bread or something, Giles.
Tina responded with a smile. As if Lizzie would let you starve! And
as for this one .!
She went on, indicating me with the butter knife shes holding
and shrugging her shoulders as though despairing of the situation
completely.
Thats all right then. He said Ill go and get my bits and
pieces together - dont forget to show Tina your ring, Jane.
I feel almost married now do we have to go through all the
rigmarole? I asked as I walked to the front door with him some
twenty minutes later.
Oh, yes, we do! He replied firmly Im not taking you on
unless youve promised to obey!
Wretch! I replied, kissing him tenderly, See you tonight.

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23.

LIZZIE IN PLANNING MODE

Oh there you are, Jane. Tina said as I walk back across the
hallway. Shes hanging over the banister from the first floor. Lizzie
wants you.
Ill come right up where is she?
In the Pink Room I warn you shes raring to go and when
shes in a mood like that, it pays to have your wits about you.
Thanks, Tina.
Lizzie is sitting in her usual place over by the window ; the table
in front of her is covered with paper.
Oh there you are, Jane. I hope Giles got off to work okay.
Yes, though hell have to get his skates on if hes going to get
there for normal office hours in future!
Im sure hell get the hang of it, Jane. No doubt, it was all a
little strange being here everything being in the wrong place
and things like that. She said with a deadpan voice but the
understanding twinkle in her eyes makes me go bright red. Anyway,
we need to get moving. Todays Thursday and youll be back in
Taunton next week and there are things to be done before you go. Im
assuming youll probably want to go over to Ivy Lodge at the
weekend.
Possibly, we havent got as far as the weekend yet. Lizzie, I
havent shown you my ring do you like it? I said, holding out my
hand.
When she has duly, and genuinely, admired it and Ive
explained that Giles is putting a notice in the newspaper tomorrow,
Lizzie brings me right back again to the matters in hand.
Ive made a list of things we need to do, Jane. Perhaps youd
have a look at it and tell me if theres anything Ive missed off. She
hands me a piece of paper and waits patiently while I read it through.
Dress for the dinner dance
Re-organisation of living accommodation
Bernie Rivers
Wedding plans
Christmas

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Well, thats pretty comprehensive, Lizzie!' I commented, Ive

not seen Lizzie in organisational mode before and it has come as
rather a shock. For a start, I can tell you what weve discussed with
regard to the wedding plans. We talked about it a little last night in
the restaurant oh Lizzie, Ive not told you hed booked a table,
organised flowers and champagne and, youll never guess, he
formally presented me with my ring
Hell always do things properly, Jane ... properly as he sees it,
that is. Thats Giles, Im afraid. He might be a tad pedantic at times
but I daresay youll find other aspects to compensate, Jane. She said
beaming with pleasure. Anyway, what did you decide?
Weve decided that sometime in the New Year would be best
and Giles wants a church wedding, here in the village if at all
possible.
Oh, Jane, thats just what I was hoping! If you want it in
January, youll have to get your skates on with regard to getting banns
read; hed better give the vicar a ring. I wonder if Simon and Anna
would be able to come over ?
She scribbles down some details on her list.
When youve finished down in Taunton, well have to have a
council of war to plan everything, Jane. Itll be a rush but I daresay
well get it done without too much hassle. The most urgent thing is
the dress for next Friday. It dawned on me last night that you wont
be back here before the dinner dance, will you?
No, I shouldnt think so. I havent really caught up with things
yet, Lizzie. We havent finalised the arrangements yet but I think the
idea is that Giles will collect me from the office in Taunton and bring
me straight up to Ivy Lodge, and well go from there.
Thats what I thought, Jane, you wont have a lot of time I
think the event starts at about seven thirty. I went with Joseph one
year, you know you should have seen the tongues wagging! But
anyway, we need to go and look at some dresses for you. I had a
browse through the wardrobe last evening and have dug out three
which you might like. Well go and have a look at them in a moment.
What is more pressing, is your hair. What are you intending to do
with it?

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I dont know, Lizzie. I dont usually have it this long and it

badly needs cutting have you any ideas? Im not much good at
putting it up.
Yes, get it cut into a nice sophisticated bob we have an
excellent hairdresser in the village. Ill get Tina to ring up and see if
we can get you an appointment today or tomorrow. It will suit you
like that and also be a lot easier to keep tidy.
Thanks, Lizzie, Id appreciate that.
Ill give you a few hints on make up as well while we are trying
on the dresses. You dont make the best of yourself, Jane.
Tina brings in some coffee for us for which I am very grateful
if only because it diverts Lizzie from her headlong charge through the
Things To Be Done for a few minutes. However, Tina is sent off to
ring the hairdresser when Lizzie is in the driving seat, she goes for
it.
and dont forget that Bernie is coming over at 3.00 so dont
make an appointment for that time, Tina. Lizzie called as Tina
leaves the room.
She puts a tick on her list and, idly picking up her coffee,
contemplates what is left to be done.
Ive been thinking, she said, taking a sip of the coffee, If you
and Giles are going to be living here part of the time, youll need
more than just a bedroom. Ive given it some thought and feel that we
could make over the entire floor for your use your own separate
apartment, so to speak, although you are always more than welcome
to come and join me when you want to. It will be nice for you to have
somewhere you can be on your own sometimes and not in bed
either she said with an amused look in my direction ... I pretend I
havent noticed it, which seems to amuse her even more. Giles
might need somewhere to work as well. Well go and have a look in a
minute.
While Im sitting here thoroughly bewildered by all this I
havent thought past next week yet - Tina comes back in and
announces that shes made an appointment for me tomorrow morning
at 10.30.

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Thank you, Tina. Lizzie said. Now about facilities do you

think youll want a washing machine up there somewhere or are you
happy to use the one downstairs? Then theres cooki ng
Lizzie, Lizzie, hang on a moment. I cried and she stops midflow. I havent thought about the practicalities at all yet give me a
chance! Ill have a think while Im in Taunton next week itll give
me something to do and well talk about it when I get back. Is that all
right?
Yes, Jane, thats very sensible I was just getting a little
carried away. Now, if youve finished your coffee, well go and look
at those rooms and then try on some dresses.
I give in. Theres no stopping Lizzie once shes in motion.
As we slowly go up to the next floor where my room is situated,
I mention to Lizzie that Giles is going to be late home tonight. It
gives me rather a kick saying that a fact that does not escape
Lizzies attention.
We stand in the hallway and look at the configuration of the
rooms. My bedroom is immediately opposite the stairwell and the
hallway goes round to the right where the bathroom is situated. On
the left of my room are two doors one leading into a large room
facing the back of the house and another into a smaller room
overlooking the front.
This back one would make a lovely lounge, Jane, if you replace
that frightful wallpaper I cant imagine why on earth we ever put it
up in the first place. Lizzie said thoughtfully, reading my mind and
looking round the room.
Slowly she makes her way over to the window and turns looking
at the room from that angle.
You could have the smaller room next door for an office or
study. What do you think? We must get a telephone line put in for
you I know Giles needs to work evenings sometimes. Now at the
other end of the corridor there are a couple more rooms the one next
to the bathroom could be converted into a small kitchen area
nothing ambitious but it would mean you could do a little catering if
you want to. What you do with the other room is up to you maybe a
spare bedroom or even a dining room.

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This will make a lovely flat, Lizzie. I replied, wandering back

to the lounge and trying to visualise how I could furnish it.
If we had a seating area this end looking out over the view at the
back, we could have a small table at the other end, I dont think we
need a separate dining room Yes, it could work rather well. As
with all the rooms in this house, it is far larger than any room in a
modern house.
Ill talk to Giles about it and see what he thinks.
Good girl! Now lets go and look at those dresses.
Hanging on the wardrobe door in Lizzies room, are three
evening dresses and what dresses! Tinas come up to help
Lizzie wont be able to do up zips or the like and Ill need some help.
On Lizzies instructions I strip off my jeans and jumper, and stand
like an idiot as Tina helps me into the first dress.
It is a sinuous black velvet. Fixing my hair out of the way with
a couple of combs from Lizzies dressing table, Tina zips up the dress
which is very fitted with a slit to the thigh and bootstring straps. It
fits me like a glove and feels fantastic. I feel very sophisticated in
this.
Youd need long evening gloves with that, Jane and
diamonds I wonder if I could get mine from the bank. Lizzie said
looking at me critically.
I blink at the thought of diamonds What do you think of it?
Its beautiful, Lizzie. Ive never worn anything so gorgeous. I
replied stroking the fabric and enjoying the way it feels.
Mmmm, Im not sure. Try the crimson one. She ordered.
This dress is a similar shade to the skirt which Giles likes the
sort of colour a good red wine is when held up to the light. Made of
silk, which feels absolutely heavenly, it drapes softly, fitted round the
bust and waist, with a sort of swathed scarf effect round the low cut
neckline which then falls away over my shoulders virtually backless.
I cant quite work out why it doesnt fall off my shoulders, but it
doesnt.
You cant wear a bra with that one, Jane. But the bodice is
lined so it shouldnt be a problem. Try it. Lizzie suggested, as I
struggle out of my bra without taking the dress off. I always loved
that one the skirt is cut on the cross, thats why it hangs so

213

beautifully. It certainly suits your colouring and youve got the back
for it too.
Giles likes this colour on me, too. I said twisting in front of
the full length mirror so I can see the back.
All the same, I dont miss the knowing glance and answering
smile which travels between Tina and Lizzie.
There are some matching shoes somewhere, Jane. Lizzie said
Do you have any jewellery at all, Jane? I noticed your ears are
pierced but you dont often wear earrings, do you?
No. Ive got a couple of pairs of studs but thats about all. I
had them pierced in a fit of madness when I was 21.
Then I shall have to dig out something for you to wear. Lizzie
said in a satisfied tone of voice, she is really enjoying herself this
morning. Now try the other one.
This is a ball dress of the strapless, boned variety the sort that
Cinderella always wears.
In a dull gold satin, it virtually stands up on its own. I have
barely put it on when Lizzie, tutting loudly, announces that it wont
do at all.
Its too theatrical, Jane. You need something less flashy.
I like the crimson one, Lizzie. I said, looking at it hanging on
the door again. Ill feel like a princess in that.
Shes right, Lizzie. Tina said, looking up from fighting with
the dull gold dress which is refusing to go back into its bag; I rush
over to give her a hand. Thanks, Jane. Its got a mind of its own this
dress.
Put it on again, Jane, and well have a look at some jewellery.
Lizzie commanded, going over to her dressing table where there is a
large polished wood box.
She opens it, revealing a collection of smaller boxes and bags.
Let me think. She said to herself. Ah yes.
She reached into the box and pulled out dark blue jewellers
box.
I think youll find that these match the dress, Jane. She said
holding it out to me.
I open the box and, lying on a bed of black velvet is a dainty
necklace. I get it out, nearly dropping the matching earrings which

214

are entangled in the chain. Tina comes over to help me disentangle

them before I drop the whole lot on the floor. The set is in gold and
ruby or garnet and is very pretty the gold chain supporting a dainty
network of five pendant stones. The earrings echo the necklace. With
Tinas help doing up the catch, I try on the necklace and put in the
earrings. The stones are just the right shade and glow beautifully as
they dangle.
What do you think? Lizzie asked, her head on one side.
Theyre rubies, you know, so much more colour than garnets I
always think.
Lizzie they are beautiful!
Im enjoying the experience of dressing up like this more than I
thought possible possibly I am more my mothers daughter than I
thought. The rubies glisten brightly against my dark hair which is
falling out of the combs now I wonder what Giles will think of me
dressed up like this?
Thats sorted then. We can dig the shoes out this afternoon, I
think I know where they are. Youll have to take it all over to Giless
at the weekend and hang it up somewhere. Now put your ordinary
clothes on and Ill give you a lesson in make up.
Tina goes off to finalise lunch leaving me at Lizzies mercy
and Lizzie is ruthless.
First of all she makes me tie my hair back
right off my face then, opening up her not inconsiderable make up kit,
starts instructing me in the art of make up. First of all, she insists I
try a light foundation. I always thought that this sort of thing would
make me look like a clown but, apparently I was wrong. My attempt
at applying blusher is less successful; I have to take that off and try
again.
Follow the line of your cheek bones, Jane, no, not like that!
Highlight them, girl! Thats better. And a little under the chin, just to
hide the possibility of a double chin. Not that youve got a problem in
that area, but it is good practice.
So far so good, now she hands me the eyeliner a steady hand
is a must and mine is not very good so I have to go and wash it all off
twice before I get it anywhere near how she wants it. Which means
starting again with the foundation Lizzie is a stickler and will not
allow me to take shortcuts.

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Jane! The idea of make up is to enhance without being too

obvious. You dont want to look like a panda or Cleopatra on a bad
day! Get that line really thin.
Once I have mastered that, I am given strict instructions on how
to apply eye shadow she suggests I stick to shades of brown which
will look fairly natural whilst at the same time highlighting my eyes.
I learn that the darker shade has to go there and the lighter one up
there. Getting both eyes the same is not easy.
Thats better, Jane. See how it makes your eyes look more
defined?
I master mascara without trouble that is one of the few things I
used to wear when I was younger. However, my triumph is short
lived as I cant get the hang of the lip brush at all. With a sigh, Lizzie
concedes that Ill have to resort to a normal lipstick shell ensure I
have one to tone with the dress. When she starts talking about nail
varnish, my heart sinks through my feet. Ive never been any good at
all doing that and if I have to have a red to match the dress, I can see
disaster looming.
Is there a reliable place in Taunton anywhere? she asked, not
even asking if I can do my nails myself.
I look at her blankly.
What sort of place?
She explains that these days there are shops which only do nails.
Feeling a complete idiot, I have to own up to the fact that I have no
idea.
Theres no point getting them done before, say, Wednesday at
the earliest and preferably Thursday ... She said musingly, I
wonder
I cant get anything more out of her. After lunch, she asks Tina
to find Jessie Stubbs telephone number.
Shes got a salon somewhere in town, I think.
Lizzie wastes no time once she has the number but calls the
woman immediately.
Jessie? Hello, dear. Its Lizzie Goulden here. How are you?
Oh good. I saw Tilly the other week and she was looking well.
Joshua is growing up fast! Yes ... Im after a favour, Jessie. Ive
got my daughter here now and shes going to a rather important

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formal dinner dance at the end of next week and we need to get her
nails done to match the rest of the outfit exactly The trouble is
she is going to be in Taunton all week and wont be coming back here
before the event. I was wondering if you could possibly go down on
Thursday evening and sort her out. Shes a secretary so youll have to
make the nails keyboard proof yes, I thought you could. Ill pay
expenses, of course. Oh you lamb! Thank you. Ill get the address
and directions over to you during the week. Thanks Jessie.
With a satisfied air, Lizzie put the phone down.
There, thats sorted. She said complacently.
Jessies
daughter to the woman who owns the salon here in the village did
you meet her sister, Tilly, here the other week? Anyway, Jessie
specialises in nails and has her own shop in town. Shes also in the
operatic society and owes me a favour. If you let me have the address
of your flat and directions so that she can find it, shell drive down on
Thursday evening and do them then.
I have to hand it to Lizzie, she gets round all sorts of obstacles.
Were sitting in the Pink Room arguing about who should pay for my
hair cut, when Tina comes in with a tall, very energetic woman
possibly in her early sixties, I dont know, its difficult to tell.
Bernie! You look a hag how are you, my dear? Do come
and sit down. Lizzie enthused.
Oh stop fussing, Lizzie! Bernie replied, Youre getting worse
than ever!
It is extremely clear that these two have known each other for a
long time and care about each other, despite their rudeness.
Bernie, this is my daughter, Jane.
I shake hands with Bernie who subjects me to her very intense
gaze. She doesnt appear to be surprised at the knowledge that Lizzie
has a daughter; they must have talked about me before.
Hello, Jane. Nice to meet you. Lizzie shes the spitting
image of you! I hope she hasnt got your temper.
Lizzie laughs and I get the general impression that this refers to
some event which both of them know about and which neither of
them have the faintest intention of explaining to me. Tina brings a
tray of tea in and I help clear sufficient space on the table for her to

217

put it down. Lizzies papers from the morning are still all over the
table.
Thank you, Tina. Are you going out now? Have a good time.
I pour the tea and hand round the cups while Bernie and Lizzie
catch up with each other. Lizzie is full of Italy and how well Simon is
looking so I can only assume that Bernie knows him. Theyre both
writers ... though I dont see why that means they necessarily know
each other. I sit nursing my cup and quietly watch Bernie. She is
quite something very alive and clear cut. Horribly intelligent I
should think.
So, Jane, you are looking for a job in this area, are you? she
said suddenly, making me jump.
Yes, Im coming to live up here.
I see you are wearing an engagement ring. She said,
completely flummoxing me.
Theres no reason why I should be embarrassed but she is the
first outsider who has said anything and it throws me.
Shes landed Giles Brewster, Bernie. Lizzie said, covering for
me though I could have improved upon her terminology it makes
him sound like a fish! But theyve very sweetly decided that theyll
split their time between here and his place near Keynsham. The idea
is that during the week theyll be here and at weekends at his house.
Giles Brewster! Oh well done, Jane. The daughter succeeds
where the mother failed, is that it, Lizzie?
I didnt fail, Bernie, you old baggage! I never wanted to marry
Joseph. and they both laugh.
I can see that working for Bernie is not going to be boring at any
rate.
I expect Lizzies told you Im looking for a secretary, Jane.
Bernie said, Its mainly audio work but also copy typing and trying
to decipher my scrawl. Whats your background workwise?
I explain my qualifications and experience, trying to sound
competent and employable. I offer to provide her with a reference
from my boss at which her lips twitch appreciatively.
I think I can dispense with that, thank you, Jane. I take your
word for the fact that youre fast and accurate. Jodie has said shell
stay until the end of January if I want her to but I know she is itching

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to get over to her sisters house. It is tragic the poor woman has this
condition which is only going to get worse and has three small
children and a husband ... dreadful! How would it be if I were to tell
her she doesnt need to come back after Christmas? Do you think you
could take over then?
Id love to Bernie, but Giles and I are hoping to get married
sometime in January, and I expect Id need some time off.
She brushes that aside as unimportant.
Thats no problem, Jane. I work very much on and off and can
manage without you for a week or even a fortnight if he wants to
whisk you off on honeymoon. The way I work it with Jodie is that I
pay her a salary and she puts in whatevers required. Some weeks
when the words flow there will be a lot and others when I am tearing
my hair out with writers block, youll have to find something to do
with yourself. The basic hours would be 9.00 to 5.00 but I can be
flexible about that whatever fits with you and your man.
There are so many variables at the moment, Bernie, that I dont
know what will be appropriate shall we start with 9-5 and see how it
goes?
I am beginning to realise that with Bernie you say what you
mean and get on with it. I doubt very much that subtle hints would
work with this woman.
Brilliant! Thank you Lizzie you have answered prayer. I
have been at my wits end trying to work out what I should do. Not
every secretary wants this sort of job and I need more than a brainless
temp. Glad thats settled.
The phone is ringing. I glance across at Lizzie and raise my
eyebrows,
Yes, please Jane. She replies we are getting quite good at
this mutual mind reading business.
I run out to answer the phone and am rewarded by the dulcet
tones of the one person I want to hear.
Hello Giles. Hows things? I asked, going all gooey inside
and kicking myself for doing so.
Fine, thank you my darling lady, but dont start me talking, Ive
only got ten minutes before the next client comes in. Have you got a

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pen and some paper there, only I want to dictate the notice for the
paper and I need to you run it past Lizzie before it goes off.
I confirm that I am ready to take dictation, which makes him
chuckle and starts my stomach going flip-flop.
The engagement is announced between Jane Mortimer, only
daughter of Elizabeth Goulden of Bath, and Giles Brewster,
eldest son of Joseph Brewster and the late Ann Brewster of
Bristol.
Got it? Can you check that Lizzie is happy for that to go in then ring
Pam and tell her yes or no. If no, I shall put niece Yes, Pam tell
him Im just coming. Ive got to go, Jane. Ill be home about nine
see you then.
I put the phone down slowly and read what Ive written. It is
weird seeing it in writing. Lizzie looks up as I enter the room again,
It was Giles I see. she said with that blasted twinkle going
crackers.
Bernie smothers a chuckle.
Yes, he wants to know if you are happy for this to be put in the
paper. Im to ring back with a yes or no. I said handing her the
paper and getting a great deal of satisfaction at seeing her startled
reaction to what is written there
. it makes a big difference seeing it in writing, doesnt it,
Lizzie? I comment to myself. She looks up and I see that there are
tears glistening in the corners of her eyes.
Isnt he a darling? Jane, how do you feel about this? she
asked, handing the paper to Bernie to read.
I see Bernies eyebrows rise suddenly.
I should be proud to have that put in, but I realise it could cause
comment and I dont know how you feel about it, Lizzie. I said after
a moments thought, handing her a tissue from the box on the side.
Thank you, Jane. I should be proud too. Tell him yes and
blow what people say. Dont you agree, Bernie?
Totally, Lizzie. Whose business is it anyway and if it causes
comment, youll weather it. Frankly, I dont know anyone brave
enough to make a nasty comment.

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I go back to the phone and dial the number, asking for Pam,
Giles Brewsters secretary when the receptionist answers.
Hello, Pam? Its Jane here can you please pass on to Giles
that Lizzies answer is yes.
Of course, Jane by the way, congratulations on the good
news. Between you and me, Im very relieved youre back from Italy
he was like a bear with a sore head all last week, but dont tell him I
said so! Im looking forward to meeting you.
Thank you, Pam. We secretaries have to stick together you
know.
She laughs at that and comments that its good that I understand
how these things work. Giles has told me a fair bit about Pam shes
been with him for about five years now and, apart from her faux pas
with the Manchester thing on Tuesday, is wonder woman personified
from what he says. If we can be friends, it would be good. A
secretary can be as close as a wife in some ways and Id rather have
her on my side than not.
I hear someone downstairs and stick my head over the banisters
to see who it is. Alastair waves at me in a friendly fashion he has
his own set of keys so that he doesnt disturb the household when he
has lessons mind you, it sometimes seems as though half of Bath
has keys to this house.
Hi, Jane. How was Italy?
I run downstairs to talk to him, telling him all about Anna and
Simon and how wonderful a time I had. As Im gesticulating to
emphasise a point about Pompeii, he catches my left hand, having a
good look at my ring.
Congratulations are in order, I see? Do I assume that Giles has
bitten the bullet at last? he said with a friendly smile.
Yes. Were hoping to be married sometime in the New Year.
I said, feeling suddenly shy.
How has Lizzie taken that? he asked concerned, which
surprises me.
Were planning to split our time between here and his house,
Alastair. Im getting a job in Bath in the New Year.
Brilliant! I am really pleased to hear that. I know Joll be
delighted that youre going to be here. Shes really taken to you,

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Jane, and she doesnt do that with many people. Have you finished
down in Taunton now?
No, Ive one more week to go; I leave on Friday of next week.
Well get together sometime after that then, and celebrate.
Please congratulate Giles for me. He glances at his watch, I must
dash, my first pupil will be here in a moment. Lovely to see you,
Jane. Take care.
I walk slowly up the stairs. I can hear that Bernie and Lizzie
still chatting away in the Pink Room so I carry on up to my room,
grateful for a little time to myself. I stand by the window looking out
at the wintry day outside and hugging my happiness. Turning, I spot
a sock half buried under the bed. Giles must have missed that one
when he was picking up his clothes this morning. Heavens, this
living in two places is going to take some organising. Do we have
two of everything or just carry stuff around?
I go and sit at the dressing table between the windows and laugh
at myself as I realise I am still holding Giless sock that really is
taking romance a little far, Jane Chin on my hands, I think about my
darling man and sigh contentedly.
Just before seven, the phone rings it is Jo, calling to
congratulate me both on my move up here and my engagement. Shes
delighted to hear the news and says she is looking forward to seeing
me when I finish in Taunton.
An hour later, Gerald rings with much the same message. The
news is getting round. Lizzie is as proud as punch and I am floating
on a pink cloud somewhere in the region of seventh heaven. We
make a right pair.
Im sitting with Lizzie in the Pink Room when Giles arrives. He
dumps his briefcase and throws his jacket down on top of it before
coming over and collapsing in a chair beside us. Tina appears almost
immediately with a plate of sandwiches and a mug of coffee for him.
Thank you, Tina, you are a life saver! he said, falling on the
sandwiches hungrily.
He looks tired, I go round behind his chair and start gently
massaging the back of his neck.
Jane, that is wonderful. Just a bit to the left, yes, thats it.

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Gradually his muscles unknot and he relaxes. Lizzie chats away

to him about nothing in particular while he unwinds. It occurs to me
that shes pretty well up on how to look after a man I must pick her
brains some time and see if I can cadge some tips.
He finishes his sandwiches, reaches up and takes my hand,
kissing it gently.
Pam passed on the message, Jane. Itll be in tomorrows paper
Ive put it in the Telegraph and the Chronicle.
I saw Alastair this afternoon, Giles, he and Jo send their
congratulations and say that we must get together for a proper
celebration once I move up here. Wasnt that nice? Oh and Gerald
rang too.
Bernie also sends her congratulations, Giles. Lizzie chipped
in.
I doubt very much if she said that, Lizzie! he said and she had
to concede that he had a point, but rallied by saying that the gist of it
was the same.
We sit there together and talk about the plans Lizzie has for
creating a flat for us up on the second floor. Giles is extremely
interested in the project and, as soon as hes finished his coffee, we go
up to look, leaving Lizzie downstairs she says shes too tired to
climb those stairs a second time but I think shes being tactful.
We look round the rooms and I can see that Giles is as taken
with the idea as I am. He opens the window in the possible office and
looks out to see where the telephone cable comes into the house.
It shouldnt be difficult for them to run another line in Lizzie
is right you know, Jane, Ill need an office here youll want a
computer and e-mail facilities as well.
He pulls me close to him.
Ive thought of nothing but you all day. He said and kisses
me. Lets go down and tell Lizzie we like the idea and then go to
bed, apart from anything else Im shattered and itll be an early start
tomorrow.
Im having my hair cut tomorrow, Giles, you dont mind, do
you? I asked as we walked down the stairs hand in hand.
No, of course not, whatever you like, Jane.

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He looks surprised that Ive asked but I know some men are
very particular about such things. Looks like Im lucky!
Jane, usually on a Friday after work, several of us go along to
the pub for a drink any chance you can get the train over and come
and join us? Id like to introduce you to some of my colleagues. Pam
usually comes along as well and I know shes dying to meet you.
I dont see why not. We could go back to your place tomorrow
night.
Thats an idea. Well have to sort out whats happening about
getting you sorted for Taunton but we can do that on Saturday. I
thought Id drive you down to the flat on Sunday afternoon. Thatll
give me a chance to get back home at a reasonable hour. Itll be hell
you being down there but at least I can phone and e-mail.
Tinas sitting in with Lizzie chatting. Giles outlines our plans
for the next day or so and says hes all in favour of the apartment idea,
suggesting that when I am finished in Taunton we can sit down and
work it all out.
Giles, youre falling down with exhaustion. Jane, take him in
hand will you, and put him to bed. What time do you need breakfast
in the morning, Giles? Tina asked.
Ive got to leave by about eight at the latest I should think Im
not sure how long it will take to get to Bristol from here. Ill have to
look into the possibility of getting the train once we get organised.
Itd be a lot less stressful the drive from here is a nightmare in the
mornings - and it would also give you a car during the day, Jane.
Ill make sure there is breakfast for you at about seven fifteen,
Giles. Now go to bed before you collapse. Ive got enough on my
plate with this awkward woman here! Tina replied.
Its going to work, isnt it? he whispered in my ear as we go
back up the stairs, arms round each others waists.
Im carrying his jacket and he has his briefcase.
Yes, Giles, its going to work very well.

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24.

JANE GOES FOR A DRINK WITH THE STAFF

The alarm clock goes off far too early on Friday morning but,
knowing Giles has to be off to work I leap out of bed and dash off to
the bathroom so as to be out of his way
leaving him complaining about neglect.
When I get back into the bedroom he is standing looking at his
mobile phone.
Oh shit! he exclaimed as I walk in.
Whats wrong? I asked he doesnt usually swear very much
Ive noticed.
With an almost comical look of horror on his face he turns to
me,
Dads just sent me a text asking if Ive let the twins and Sarah
know about our engagement Jane what with one thing and
another, I clean forgot! Theyll never let me forget this!
For a moment I am concerned then it dawns on me that hes
more embarrassed and amused than anything else.
Ive always been the organised, feet on the ground one. He
explained ruefully, Theyll really get some mileage out of this!
Youd better be prepared to repel boarders this weekend, Jane. I
anticipate that theyll descend on us.
Well cross that bridge when we get to it, Giles, now youd
better get into that bathroom. I said and, with a quick glance at the
clock, he dashes off.
I stand in the middle of the room Ive not thought about his
brothers and sister. I know Joseph and Joan like me but what will his
siblings make of it all I wonder.
As we walk into the kitchen for breakfast, his mobile starts
bleeping. A glance at the screen and Giles winces,
Sarah gets her paper early. But it looks as though Dad has
warned her so at least it was not a total surprise. Listen to this, Jane.
ETA lunchtime Saturday at Dads be prepared for lifetimes
retribution for always being right. X S
He is munching toast when it goes off next time Forgot to tell
us, eh? See you tomorrow C

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As we read this, it goes again. Memory goes with old age, so

Im told remember me? See you at Dads Saturday R
Sorry, Jane, Ive gone and landed you with a family gathering
tomorrow by the looks of it. Ill talk to Dad and see whats going on.
Why dont I do that? Youre going to be busy today as it is,
Giles. I suggested. Im having my hair cut this morning but will be
getting the train over to the office this afternoon. We may have to
come back here tonight Ill need something decent to wear and Im
not lugging a suitcase to the office.
Do you mind? he asked as he finishes his coffee, glancing at
the clock yet again. It would help.
No, not at all. Now you go and clean your teeth and Ill meet
you at the front door in five minutes.
Tina gives me a measuring look,
Do you know something, Jane? she said with a smile, as he
leaves the room hurriedly There are times when you sound just like
Lizzie. Hes cocked it up with the siblings, hasnt he?
Is there going to be trouble, Tina? I asked anxiously, now
Giles isnt here I feel a little scared at the prospect of meeting his
family.
Oh no, not at all! But hes always been the big brother who is
right and they are really going to pull his leg about this imagine,
forgetting to mention to your brothers and sister that youre engaged!
Oh boy, theyll make hay with that!
Thanks, Jane. He said gratefully as he kisses me goodbye.
Ill see you at the office later anytime about fiveish will be good.
An hour later, showered and dressed, I go along to Lizzies
bedroom where Tina is pottering while Lizzie eats her breakfast. The
grin I am greeted with tells me clearly that Tina has spilled the beans.
Ill give you Josephs number in a minute, Jane. Id assumed
that hed told them. Lizzie said as I give her a good morning kiss.
If you need moral support, let me know. Im supposed to be going to
a student thing tomorrow afternoon but can drop out of that if
necessary.
Thanks, Lizzie. Oh, you should have seen his face when he
realised! It was hilarious! I replied, grinning now that the initial
nerves are wearing off.

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Joseph chuckles appreciatively when I thank him on Giles

behalf for the advance warning.
What are the arrangements for tomorrow, Joseph? Lizzie wants
to know if Ill need moral support.
It looks as though were having them all here for lunch I think
Ill need the moral support more than you, Jane! Please bring Lizzie
with you and Tina, of course. Shall we say one for one thirty lunch.
Joan is over the moon at the thought of having all the brood here.
Okay, Ill tell her. See you tomorrow, Joseph.
I relay this to Lizzie as I walk into the Pink Room where she is
sitting with the newspapers on her lap
Dont look so nervous, Jane. They wont eat you Giles will
be for the high jump, but that only counts in your favour. What are
you going to wear? Look, Jane.
She hands me the births, marriages and deaths section of the
Telegraph if it was strange seeing it written down, seeing it in print
is ever worse. I sit down heavily on the chair and read and re-read the
notice.
The phone rings. I hear Tina go to get it. She comes in with the
handset the phone is a handsfree one but Lizzie objects to having it
in the Pink Room on the basis that she wont have it ruling her life.
What this means in reality is that we all have to do a considerable
amount of running about every time it rings.
Lizzie, call for you just as I thought. She said with a
conspiratorial grin.
Lizzie takes the handset from her and starts chatting on the
phone.
We were taking bets on how long it would take for the locals to
catch on and start ringing up, Jane. I won its one of the writing
circle ladies! Tina explained.
Between phone calls, which Lizzie appears to be enjoying
vastly, I explain the arrangements for tomorrow and then, realising
that it is just gone ten, I rush off to get my hair cut.
I walk into the village how long is it since I last had time to
myself?
My nerves are jangled by the events of the morning, and
walking through the clear if cold air is refreshing. The sky is a lovely

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shade of eggshell blue and there are small white clouds dotted about
reminds me of Italy its nowhere near as warm as Sorrento
though.
As I reach the hairdressers, I see Jane Hammond on the other
side of the road. She spots me about the same time and, quickly
looking round to check for traffic, rushes over the road.
Jane, how nice to see you. Did you enjoy yourself in Italy?
Anna has been full of it. I saw the notice in the paper this morning
congratulations! she enthused, giving me a hug. Have you got a
ring yet?
Yes, I replied, taking off my glove and showing her my
beautiful diamond. I had a lovely time in Italy and please give Anna
my love if you e-mail her I dont have access to a computer at the
moment so am a bit stuck but Ill be back in the office on Monday and
will write to her then.
Youre going back to Taunton, then?
Only for the week, Im leaving the job on Friday and moving
back up to Lizzies. Ill have to get some sort of computer access
sorted out
Mmmm, what are you going to do workwise? she asked and I
explain about the job with Bernie. Well, if you need internet access,
let me know and you can come and use ours.
Thanks, Jane, thats very kind. I expect well be coming to see
Peter soon anyway.
Youre planning on getting married here! she exclaimed
joyfully Oh good. I wonder if Anna and Simon will be able to get
back for it when are you thinking of?
Probably sometime in January if we can get it organised but
thats only an idea at the moment, Ive got to finish things in Taunton
first.
Ill keep quiet about it then. But what brings you into the
village this morning?
I explain Im having my hair cut; muttering something about not
holding me up, she says goodbye and dashes off again she is a real
whirlwind, that woman.
As soon as I walk into the hairdressers I recognise one of the
girls I met her at Lizzies thats Tilly. The receptionist crosses

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me off the list in the register and, taking my coat, invites me to sit
down, offering me a coffee which I gratefully accept. Tilly comes
over as soon as she has finished the client she is currently working on.
Hello, Jane. Howre you? Would you like to come over here?
Sitting me down next to a playpen in which her little boy is
sitting playing happily, she has a look at my hair, her eyes flashing
from the reflection in the mirror to the back of my head, assessing.
What do you think, Tilly? I asked, recognising an expert when
I see one. Its got to look smart and yet be easy for me to manage
Im no good at fancy stuff.
I think a long bob to about here. She said thoughtfully,
indicating with her fingers what she means. Your hairs lovely and
straight properly cut it should hang well and a little blow drying on
the ends will just turn it under.
Oh, I could manage that. I confirmed as an older woman
comes over with the Chronicle in her hand.
She shows it to Tilly. I can guess what they are looking at.
Oh congratulations, Jane! Tilly said beaming at me in the
mirror. Mum, I dont think youve met Jane yet.
Mrs Stubbs smiles at me and offers her congratulations, adding
that Lizzie must be thrilled about it.
Im meeting his brothers and sister tomorrow, Tilly. I
confided as she leads me over to the wash basins.
Then we must make you look really special, Jane. She said as
she started washing my hair.
Watching the hair falling on the floor as she expertly cuts it, my
mind wanders. What am I going to wear for tomorrow? The crimson
outfit needs washing, especially after being draped all over the floor
Mentally I go through the wardrobe and decide that the blue dress
Lizzie gave me might do, if I wear my lovely new boots. Oh heavens,
what am I going to wear this afternoon? My new blue suit might do
for that smart but professional.
Hearing Lizzies name, I rouse out of my reverie and, without
moving my head, look in the mirror to see who is talking about her.
There are a couple of ladies waiting to be seen, holding a copy of the
local paper and obviously commenting on the engagement notice.
They are what I tend to think of as fussy old cats of indeterminate

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age and gossipy. I catch Tillys eye in the mirror and she makes a
wry face as we listen to the two women discussing Lizzie Gouldens
daughter and making all sorts of gossipy comments .. I dont quite
know what to do but the situation is resolved by Mrs Stubbs coming
out from the back of the salon and calling across to Tilly.
Tilly, does Miss Mortimer want another coffee?
This questions stops the ladies dead mid-sentence and they both
go a very unattractive shade of red.
Thanks, Mrs Stubbs. Id love another one. I replied in a clear
voice.
Tilly barely represses a giggle as we register the fact that the
ladies have shut up completely ... their faces highly embarrassed as
they try to remember what they have just said.
I hear youre going to a big do on Friday, Jane. Mrs Stubbs
commented as she brings my coffee over. Jess tells me shes going
down to Taunton to do your nails on Thursday.
Yes, its very kind of her to go to all that trouble. I replied, we
are both surreptitiously watching the two ladies in the mirror its
highly amusing. Its the Law Society Christmas dinner dance.
I hope you have a lovely time, Jane. She said with a satisfied
smile.
I get the impression Mrs Stubbs is a force to be reckoned with in
this village and am relieved to see that she appears to be on my side.
Tilly makes a really good job of cutting my hair and by the time
she has finished blowdrying it, it looks rather good. A vast
improvement, I think, and definitely much smarter. To say that I feel
like a new woman is probably rather an exaggeration, but as I walk
back along the road, I definitely feel tidier. Must get a scarf though,
theres a draught round the back of my neck where my hair used to
be.
As I go into the house, I see Tina crossing the hall on her way
into the kitchen.
Hi Jane that looks nice! Yes, definitely an improvement.
she said, inspecting my haircut as I take my coat off. Oh Jane, its
been manic this morning. In a way I think its just as well that youve
been out of the house the phone hasnt stopped ringing and weve

230

even had a couple of visitors call. The flowers are for you, by the
way.
On the bench in the hall is a large arrangement of flowers in one
of those plastic bags full of water. I go over to see what the card
attached says. Its certainly addressed to me. With Tina looking over
my shoulder, I open the envelope and take out the card. It says:
In Deepest Sympathy You should have said no! Its too late now
welcome to the family, Colin & Richard
Youve not met those two, have you, Jane? Tina commented
as I re-read the message.
No, what are they like apart from crazy that is? I asked,
reading the card again and wondering what Giles will say about it.
Well, crazy describes them quite well really. They were right
little rascals from what Lizzie tells me always into everything and
charming their way out of trouble. But having said that, Ive always
found them very considerate.
Carrying the flowers, I go up to the Pink Room where Lizzie is
sitting, the phone beside her.
Jane, dear, your hair does look nice are you pleased with it?
she said inspecting the result of Tillys labours. But where on earth
did you get those lovely flowers?
I hand her the card.
The devils! she laughed, handing it back to me.
I saw Jane Hammond on my way into town, she sends her love
and said that Anna is missing us. I asked her to give Anna lots of love
from us. Shes hoping that Anna and Simon will come over for the
wedding.
Well, it would be lovely if they could. Jane, Ive had such a
morning! Absolutely everyone has been ringing up or calling to get
the gossip. It seems I know more people than I ever dreamed and
they all want to know quote the romantic story! Its exhausting!
But shes smiling and obviously enjoying herself so I dont take
the last comment too seriously.
What time are you off to Bristol, Jane?
Ill get the four thirty train, and, if you dont mind, well go
over to Ivy Lodge tonight. Giles is running out of clothes. Well be

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back tomorrow morning to sort out my stuff and then over to Josephs
for lunch. Do you want us to take you?
No, Tinas coming and it will be better if she drives me, just in
case I get too tired and need to come home. Giles is taking you down
to Taunton on Sunday, I imagine.
Yes, I had hoped this weekend would be a quiet one but thats
not going to happen ... never mind. Well get it all sorted out. What
do you think I ought to wear tomorrow, Lizzie. I want to get it right.
You silly girl! Youll be fine something casual I should think
maybe trousers and a jumper smartish but not OTT.
I thought Id wear my blue suit this afternoon its smart and
professional.
Yes, that should be spot on, Jane. You have good taste you
know, rely on it its only confidence you lack. Half the time the
knack to getting away with wearing the wrong thing is just to appear
confident then no-one questions whether you are right or not.
After lunch I pack an overnight bag and try to sort out what I am
going to need to take down to Taunton with me and what I can leave
here.
Tina very kindly runs me to the station Im fine on the
journey, but as the train draws into the station in Bristol, Im suddenly
assailed by a fit of nerves stage fright, I suppose, Lizzie would call
it. Right, I might not have ever appeared on a stage, but I can do it as
well as anyone. Back straight, Jane, you are engaged to the managing
partner of the firm that makes me laugh out loud, much to the
consternation of the people standing beside me waiting to alight from
the train.
Its nearly dark now; I enjoy walking through the lamplit streets
of hurrying people. I get to the offices of Brewster Toms just before
five and, as I stand for a second looking at the door, much as I did the
first time I came here, I smile what a long time ago that seems
now.
The receptionist is a smart, alert-looking woman who efficiently
takes my name and asks me to take a seat, only giving me a very
slight curious glance the news has obviously got round the building.
I feel exposed sitting in the glass atrium and am relieved when the lift
door opens and a short, plump, dark-haired lady a little older than

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myself gets out is that Giles secretary? The receptionist

gesticulates in my direction .. yes, I reckon that must be Pam.
Jane? Im Pam Giles secretary. Weve spoken on the
phone. She said with a smile, holding out her hand.
Hello Pam, nice to put a face to the name.
She takes me over to the reception desk and introduces me to
Tracey, the girl at the desk and then leads me to the lift. As the doors
close, she smiles at me,
Congratulations on your engagement, Jane. Its been bedlam
here today with all sorts of people phoning up.
Thank you, Pam. How is Giles bearing up?
Trying to pretend hes not as proud as the proverbial peacock
his concentration is not as good as usual but thats to be expected.
Hes got a client with him at the moment but should be free shortly.
Can I get you a coffee or anything?
No, Im fine thanks.
I sit in the outer office with Pam chatting. She tells me about
her son, whos at university in Glasgow. Its nice and normal talking
to her life has been anything but normal for far too long and
although it has been fun, I appreciate the breathing space, brief though
it is.
The door to Giles office opens and he comes out with his client.
by next week, so we should be able to complete by
Christmas. He says, throwing a quick smile in my direction and
showing the man out of the office. Come on in, Jane.
He closes the door behind me and, leaning on it, draws me into
his arms.
Hello, my lady. I approve of the hair, by the way, very nice.
Hows your day been? Its been chaos here. I didnt know I knew so
many people who are interested in my private life!
Lizzie has been saying much the same. Oh, Giles, I received
some flowers.
Oh? Who from? he asked as I delve in my handbag for the
card which I deliberately brought to show him.
They came with this, I said, handing it to him and watching as
he reacts.
Wait until I see them!

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He goes over to his desk and straightens some of the papers.

Pam sticks her head round the door,
Giles, Im going down to the pub now see you there.
See you there, Pam. I wont be long, Jane.
I sit and watch as he sorts out the files on his desk and generally
tidies up. It makes me feel incredibly soppy and I am mentally
kicking myself when he suddenly looks up,
Jane, I meant to phone you but didnt get round to it. I need to
go back to Ivy Lodge for some more clothes.
Yes, I know, were staying there tonight, if t hats okay with
you. Well have to go back to Lizzie House tomorrow morning so I
can change, but thats okay we need to pick up my dress and stuff
for the dinner anyway thats got to go back to your place. Were
going to be doing a fair bit of back and forth this weekend, Im afraid,
Giles, but its the last time I hope to come up with a plan of action
with regard to practicalities while I am languishing in my flat next
week.
Jane, you are a continuing delight to me thank you. Did you
talk to Dad?
Yes, were expected for lunch one for one thirty and your
aunt is on cloud nine at the thought of having what your father called
the whole brood under her roof. Lizzie and Tina are coming for
moral support, but I am not sure whose.
He laughs, turns off his computer and draws the blinds at the
windows.
Come on then, wench, lets go and play the engaged couple.
We go down and dump my overnight bag in the boot of his car,
then set off for the pub. As we walk in, theres a cheer from one
corner of the bar and Giles flushes. Immediately, were swamped by
a crowd of people and Giles is kept busy introducing me to face after
face only a few stick in my mind. Diana, who is the other
commercial property lawyer (very like her photo only sharper), Philip
who has a really friendly smile and looks almost sympathetic for my
predicament and Andrew, who solemnly shakes my hand, breaks into
a delightful smile and tells me that Ill get used to it eventually. Pam
has saved a seat for me and I am more than happy to sink into it.

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Jane, what do you want to drink? Giles asks and is

immediately shouted down by Philip who says hes getting them in.
Jane, what would you like? Philip asks as Giles shrugs his
shoulders with a grin and, giving up the fight, takes a seat near me.
Ill have a gin and tonic, please.
Theyre a nice crowd and very friendly. Giles is claimed by
Andrew but Im happy to chat to Pam while I regain my breath. She
gives me the low down on what each of the people does; Andr ew is a
family lawyer, specialising in divorce and Philips field is surprisingly
enough litigation he looks far too nice to do that.
Diana does commercial property like Giles, doesnt she? I
asked trying to commit all this to memory.
Yes, and a right pain she is too. She said quietly, You might
get some hassle from her she had designs on being the managing
partners wife, Jane, although hes never given her the slightest
encouragement. Shes the sort of woman who gets career women a
bad name, if you know what I mean.
I look across to where Diana is standing now talking to Giles
and gazing up at him with a look that makes me want to reach for a
bucket to throw up in. I mention this to Pam and she bursts out
laughing, which causes Giles to glance in my direction and our eyes
meet for a moment as we smile at each other.
Oho! She didnt like that, Jane! Hes never looked at her like
that. Pam said as I try to get my heartbeat back to normal. Just
watch your back with that one.
Philip appears with my G&T and stays to chat. He is a lovely
guy and, when I ask if he is local to Bristol, tells me that he comes
from a very large family from over the water in Wales.
You cant hog the lovely lady, Philip! Andrew said, joining us
round the tiny table. Congratulations on tying the man down, Jane.
About time someone did.
Youre married then, Andrew? I asked grinning and he nods
lugubriously, explaining that his present wife is at home with their
two children but confessing that he has been happily married for
nearly twenty years when I press him.
You recommend it then, Andrew? Giles asked coming up
behind me and laying a hand on my shoulder.

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I wouldnt go that far, Giles, just dont see why every man
shouldnt have a little of the misery! Andrew countered dryly.
We dont get away until nearly seven by which time Im
starving. Giles suggests we leave the car where it is and eat at the
Glassboat over the other side of the bridge. Bristol is buzzing and I
enjoy strolling across the river bridge with Giles as part of it. Its
still early and we have no difficulty getting a table in the restaurant.
What are you thinking, Jane? Giles asked me as we sit looking
at the menus. You look miles away.
Ive been thinking how different your world is from the one Im
used to. I said This and everything.
He takes my hand across the table,
Does it bother you, Jane? I didnt grow up with this either, you
know. Its only in the last five or six years that the firm has grown so
successful. We had a comfortable lifestyle before, but it was nothing
special. Im not the big, influential executive that Matthew thinks I
am, you know.
Im just concerned that I dont let you down, Giles. I
confessed and he tightens his hold on my hand.
Jane, youll never do that. You cant. I spent a good bit of last
week thinking about us, how I feel about you and what life will be
like. Im very aware that weve covered a lot of ground in a very
short time but we have covered it, weve not cut corners or missed
important bits out. At least thats my opinion. I love you for who
you are, Jane, and you can never let me down as long as you are being
yourself. If the money I earn means we can have a comfortable
lifestyle, then good, but it doesnt matter beyond that,
I dont know what to reply, fortunately, the waitress arrives to
take our order at that moment, so I dont have to say anything and by
the time she has gone, the moment has passed and we talk about other
things.
I didnt realise that the Glassboat is just what it says it is a
boat on the river and am fascinated to watch the swans on the
water just outside the window by our table. The food arrives fairly
quickly and, as we eat, Giles tells me that the phone has not stopped
ringing today with people who have seen the announcement.
How did they take it at work?

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He explains that he had thought it best to post a notice in the

staff kitchen rather than waiting for people to see the newspapers, and
how people had been dropping into his office all day to congratulate
him. He seems to miss completely the point that his staff feel they
can do this, that he is approachable by even the humblest member of
the firm. Im impressed, one day Ill explain it to him.
We dont hang around after our meal, dispensing with dessert
and heading for home. It may be my imagination but Giles seems
very happy to be driving back to Ivy Lodge. Its going to be a wrench
for him moving in at Lizzie House after all, this is his home, the
place he has created for himself. He makes coffee for us and we take
it up to the bedroom, sitting at the small table by the window there
together.
Jane, run the plans for the rest of the weekend and next week
past me, will you please, just so I can get it all into my head.
He takes off his tie and undoes the top button of his shirt his
way of announcing that he is relaxing, I have discovered.
Tonight we stay here, tomorrow morning we need to go back to
Lizzie House so I can get changed for lunch at your fathers house.
We could also pile into the car the stuff Ill need for the dinner dance
next Friday. With me so far?
He nods, his eyes bright over his mug.
Tomorrow we have lunch at your fathers dont know what
will happen with the rest of the day but I suggest we come back here.
Sunday, we need to go to Lizzie House to collect my stuff for
Taunton, then I need to go down to the flat. Okay?
Again he nods.
Friday afternoon you skive off work and come down to collect
me from work and carry me off here to dress for the dinner dance. I
suppose well come back here after that. Next weekend is a mystery
at the moment though some part of it must, please, include
unwinding.
What about emptying your flat, Jane? he asked putting his
empty mug down.
Ill have to go down sometime and bring everything up Im
hoping to be able to sort and pack stuff during the evenings next week

237

so it should just be a case of moving it. Maybe, I could hire a small

van or something.
Is there very much to be moved? he asked frowning slightly
as he tries to remember what there is in my flat, Any furniture?
Not much really and as far as furniture goes, just a couple of
bookshelves.
Its the run up to Christmas, Jane, Ill be going like the clappers
at work as it invariably dawns on my clients that everything will be
closed for a week, otherwise Id offer to move it all. What I suggest
you do is talk to Lizzie she may have some willing volunteers who
could help. Theres buckets of space here I suggest you take over
one of the spare bedrooms as your own room if you want to, that is.
That would be ideal, Giles. Ive got to give thought to what I
want here and what I want at Lizzies - I really dont want to have to
keep moving stuff around.
No, Ill have to do the same. Well get it sorted out, Jane.
Have you finished your coffee?
Yes, thanks. He is in restrained mode again, but Im not
fooled. May I take the bathroom first?
Once in there, I discover every womans dread Id lost count
of the weeks what with the flu and everything and although I never
travel anywhere without a supply of STs and tampons, tonight is the
one night I could do without this tangible proof of my gender. Mind
you, it would explain that horrid fit of the blues last week
Giles, we have a complication. I announced miserably as I go
back into the bedroom.
Hes changed and is in his dressing gown, standing by the
wardrobe hanging his trousers on a hanger.
Ive come on.
Dont look so worried, you daft woman! At least it proves two
things. He announced, going on as I look at him blankly, For one
thing youre not pregnant and for another, Im getting a fully
functional female. Not to mention that it will be safe to leave the
condoms in their little packet tonight Ill dig out some old towels,
shall I?
Youre not put off by this then?

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Jane, I cannot think of anything that would put me off you.

You will have to try a lot harder than that.
I should have known that Giles would be eminently practical.
Do you suffer badly with periods, Jane? he asked later as we
lie in bed cuddled up together.
No, I get the odd cramps and alternate months I feel pretty
nauseous for about twenty-four hours but I dont have major
problems, certainly not like some women Ive met. I do tend to be a
bit heavy on the first day though so if you hear me rushing off to the
loo, dont worry. I replied, there is something rather cosy and
almost romantic talking to him like this. I do get fits of PMT about a
week before though.
Oh? What form does that take?
I get absurdly depressed about things its horrible as though
the whole world turns upside down. The trouble is it comes out of the
blue and seems logical at the time.
And this happened last week?
Mmmm, it was horrible. I answered without thinking, But
Tina was a darling.
In what way?
She dosed me up and told me not to be such an idiot. I replied,
hoping he wouldnt ask any more silly me
Come on, Jane, tell me. He said, sensing my reluctance.
I had a screaming nightmare and worked myself up into a state
about it, Giles, thats all.
You and your nightmares what was this one? No, let me
guess. Something about us me having second thoughts perhaps?
My silence says it all
Oh, Jane, you are a daft woman sometimes! As if I would!
What did Tina say?
Words along the lines of Giles never makes decisions lightly
and once he has made his mind up about something, thats it.
amongst other things.
Sensible lady! he tightened his hold on me, If its any
consolation, I had a nasty moment just after you flew out, and almost
convinced myself that you would think better of it. Then I saw the

239

statue you gave me and it stabilised me thats why I took it

everywhere with me.
We are a right pair! I said, kissing him and snuggling down to
sleep.

240

25.

FAMILY GATHERING

We dont get back to Lizzie House until about ten thirty which
makes me twitchy as it doesnt leave me much time but, with Giles
assistance at least that is what he says it is I manage to pack all
the stuff I shall need for Taunton. The dress for Friday is in its bag
and the jewellery and shoes neatly packed along with the make up and
a beautiful shawl which Lizzie has dug out for me to wear over the
dress. Well pick that all up tomorrow morning.
Feeling nervous, I change into a pair of smart trousers and a
jumper. I had a fairly good go at blowdrying my hair this morning
and it seems to have worked pretty well. Just before twelve, Giles
announces it is time to leave and I go to kiss Lizzie.
Youll be fine, Jane. Stop worrying so much. She said. Ill
see you there.
Josephs house is in Clifton, an area of Bristol I only know
because of the Zoo. In fact his house is not far from the Zoo, just
down a road from the Downs in an area of large properties, most of
which are now flats and student lets. The house is a large semi with a
garden at the front and we get there in good time theres not much
traffic on the roads this morning. Giles is his usual pragmatic self, but
I can sense an undercurrent of something there what on earth is he
expecting?
Joseph lets us in and, when he has welcomed us, announces that
Sarah is in the dining room with Joan but that the twins havent
arrived yet.
Are they bringing Bella and Cathy? Giles asked.
No, Joe has something on today and Cathy is knee deep in end
of term stuff at school.
Hows Sarah? Giles asked his father, turning to me to explain,
She split up with her long-standing boyfriend recently. In fact, thats
why she came down to see me.
Oh. I said, the memory of that occasion embarrassing.
Shes a lot better but seems very much on edge, Giles, I cant
work out what it is thats bothering her precisely. Joseph answered
taking our coats and hanging them in the cloak room just off the hall.

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He leads us into the lounge where a large fire is burning in the

hearth, very welcoming.
Sherry, Jane? Giles asked but I shake my head.
I dont like sherry much and definitely not at lunchtime
especially when I want to keep my head clear.
Did you bring that card the boys sent you, Jane? Dad, youve
got to see this! he continued as I dug in my handbag.
Joseph reads it and laughs loudly, bringing Aunt Joan in from
the room next door followed by a blonde I recognise as the girl from
the station platform Sarah.
What are you making all that noise about, Joseph? Aunt Joan
asked, snorting with amusement as he shows her the card. Jane, my
dear, lovely to see you.
Sarah is looking at me. I smile but although she responds, it is
hardly enthusiastic.
Oh there you are, Sarah! Giles said turning round from
pouring himself a sherry, How are you, my love?
She mutters something non committal about being all right.
Come and meet Jane. He said, going over and taking her hand,
bringing her over to where I am standing. Do you want a sherry?
She accepts. He turns to pour it for her as we stand like two
cats, contemplating each other.
Sarah, Giles has told me so much about you it is lovely to
meet you. I said trying very hard to bridge the gap.
She makes the right social noises, but theres nothing behind it.
As she turns to Giles to take her sherry from him, I see a flash of
despair cross her eyes and it suddenly becomes crystal clear to me
what is going on. Sarahs just lost her long term boyfriend and is now
afraid that shes going to lose her beloved brother. That I can relate
to.
I can see that Giles has registered that something is wrong but
his attention is claimed by his father calling him over to the other side
of the room. In desperation I pray God let me get this right.
Sarah, I began tentatively, I hope you dont mind, but Giles
told me about your recent trouble. It is horrible trying to pick up the
pieces after a relationship falls apart I know how close you and

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Giles are. Hes told me how important that is to him I do hope you
wont let my appearance on the scene, alter that. Hed be devastated.
Have I pitched it right? I dont know.
Before she can reply, theres a commotion at the door and two
men walk in. Immediately, I see what Lizzie meant when she said
that they are undeniably Josephs sons but with a tinge of something
else. Giles is taller than they are by half a head but the features are
very similar.
Okay, old man. Where is she? one of them said, punching
Giles playfully on the shoulder.
Giles immediately grabs his arm and puts him into an armlock
and marches him across the room to where I am standing, the
smoothness of the action indicating that this is an exercise he has
carried out many times before.
Jane, this cheeky monkey is my brother Colin. The other
reprobate over there by the door is Richard. Now, Colin, say hello
nicely to the pretty lady. He said releasing Colin who shakes himself
and bows to me before kissing me on the cheek.
Giles, you rascal! No wonder you kept quiet about her! Where
on earth did you get such a beauty? Jane, Jane, why are you throwing
yourself away on Giles? Rich, come over here and pretend you know
what manners are.
Richard, who has been talking to his father, comes over and
shakes my hand. Hes got a wicked grin. They are quite a pair.
Shut up you two! Jane, welcome to the family. Sarah said
from behind me.
I turn and receive a totally unexpected hug from her, registering
Giles relief that Sarah appears to have accepted me. So thats what
he was worried about honestly, these sibling relationships are so
complicated
Lizzie and Tina come into the room, Tina immediately going
over to Aunt Joan and offering her assistance with the catering and
they disappear into the hallway. Lizzie starts flirting with the twins
who are responding in kind. Giles is getting Lizzie a sherry.
Giles, you kept this pretty quiet. Sarah said to him, her hand
on my arm drawing me over towards the decanters.

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Giles gives me one of his swift, stomach-churning glances and

smiles.
Well, it has all been something of a whirlwind actually, Sarah.
In fact the last time I saw you, things were very different. He said
wickedly.
Yes, we were barely speaking to each other. I commented;
Im not going to let him get away with that!
Sarah, you should have heard the row we had.
Giles! I said warningly and his eyes flash, acknowledging the
challenge.
We were mutually abusive to each other, Sarah, at one of
Lizzies afternoons. I havent lost my temper so much in years. He
replied musingly. I think that was about the time I realised I was in
love with her.
Sarah looks from him to me and back again.
Giles, you do talk the most utter rubbish at times. Jane, what
on earth made you agree to take him on? she asked barely containing
her amusement.
Well, you see, Sarah, I had just seen Ivy Lodge .
It was nothing like that at all, Sarah, Giles put in, The truth is
I compromised her completely when I went down to Taunton, so was
in honour bound to offer her the protection of my name.
Youre as mad as each other! Sarah announced, not believing
a word of any of it, leaving us to go to talk to her brothers, I wash
my hands of the pair of you!
How did you do it, my lady? Giles asked quietly as he
watched her bounce over to Colin.
I told her that I hoped my appearance wouldnt affect the close
relationship you have. I think she was worried that she was going to
lose her beloved brother as well as her boyfriend.
Jane, have I told you how much I love you? he whispered,
taking me in his arms and gently kissing my forehead.
Before I can answer, there is a loud, theatrical groan from the
other end of the room.
Ye gods! Look at them! Were not going to have to put up
with loves young dream, are we? Richard exclaimed.

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I hear Giles swear under his breath. Joseph picks up the baton
and starts going on about how sickening we were at the dinner at
Lizzies the other week. Before long, the whole lot of them are doing
their best to wind Giles up (and succeeding to a large extent) while I
just dissolve in giggles.
Rescue comes in the form of Aunt Joan announcing lunch is
ready and we all trail into the dining room. Lizzie who has the seat at
the foot of the table is flirting outrageously with Richard or is it the
other way round? Not sure. I end up sitting next to Joseph and Colin
with Giles opposite me, and Sarah on his right. Tina is sitting
between Sarah and Richard and Joan is in the seat by the door so she
can come and go easily as she explains to all and sundry before
sitting down.
So what is your line of business, Jane? Colin asked as we
hand the tureens of vegetables round the tabl e.
I explain about Matthew and my job in Taunton, adding the
rider that I am leaving it next Friday to move up to Bath.
That reminds me, Giles interrupted, Have you still got that
van, Colin?
Yes, Colin replied cautiously, plainly expecting to be dropped
in it well and truly, Why?
Jane has some stuff to be moved up from Taunton, and I cant
get time off to go down to transport it. Theres not very much but
well need a van to move it. Any chance we can borrow yours?
I dont see why not. When does it have to be moved? Colin
replied.
Before the end of the month her tenancy expires on the 31 st
December.
Im off between Christmas and New Year Ill give you a hand
with it, Jane. I expect Rich could be available too. Colin offered
What are you volunteering me for now? Richard wailed from
the bottom of the table but when Colin explains, he agrees that he can
easily do that.
I know what well do, Jane, Giles went on to say, Ill get you
put on my insurance and you can drive my car down, if Colin and
Richard are there I dont think youll have any trouble with the

245

landlord which lets me out Im going to have difficulty getting

extra time off over the Christmas period.
Whats this about the landlord, Giles? Colin asked, the family
resemblance very clear.
Giles explains that he feels the landlord will try to avoid
repaying the deposit on the flat if he can.
Over my dead body, Jane! Dont you agree, Rich? Colin calls
down the table to his twin and it all has to be explained again
I have a sudden vision of Tweedledee and Tweedledum. I catch
Sarahs eye across the table.
Just dont mention crows, Jane. She said, making me laugh.
Joseph is clearly enjoying having all his children around him.
They are a lovely bunch and despite the teasing, its clear that they are
very fond of each other.
As we finish the dessert, Richard goes out with Aunt Joan,
returning with tray of filled champagne flutes. Giles is looking
decidedly embarrassed but Im enjoying myself enormously. Once
everyone has a glass, Joseph stands and with a very neat little speech,
says how pleased he is to welcome me to the family and proposing a
toast to Giles and myself. Lizzie beams at me from the other end of
the table as they all rise and drink to our future happiness. I smile at
Giles across the table and watch as his embarrassment turns to pride.
There is a call of speech from Richard which is quickly taken up by
the rest of them and Giles, reluctantly, rises to his feet.
Ladies, paternal sire and siblings, on behalf of my fiance and
I cue raucous cries from the twins my fiance and I, Giles
repeated, I would like to thank you for your kind wishes. Lizzie
thank you not only for being a fantastic godmother but also for
providing me with a wonderful bride to be. May I ask you all to
drink a toast to Jane, daft woman that she is.
As they rise to comply with his request, I find my vision
blurring but fight back the tears.
After lunch its suggested that the younger element go for a
walk across the Downs while the older ones relax. Its a cold but
sunny afternoon and we set off in a group, Colin and Richard back to
doing their best to wind Giles up. Sarah walks with me, her arm
tucked cosily through mine.

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Ive never seen Giles so happy, Jane. Youre obviously very

good for him.
Were standing watching the three men challenge each other to
leapfrog over bollards.
Thank you, Sarah. He makes me pretty happy too. Its all very
silly. I said with a satisfied sigh.
What are your plans? she asked as we follow the men along
the path and I tell her about the plans for us to split our time between
Lizzie House and Ivy Lodge. Giles is very close to Lizzie, Jane. He
always has been. Im not surprised hes suggested this. Though the
logistics are going to be interesting, arent they?
Yes, I have a horrid feeling that I am always going to have the
wrong clothes in the wrong place!
When are you planning to get married, have you decided yet?
No, but we are thinking sooner rather than later probably
sometime in the New Year.
But why dont you have it on Giles birthday? she suggested,
Thats on the 8 th February and is a Saturday this year. Itll make
anniversaries easy to remember!
Its actually the same day as mine, Sarah.
Even better!
Shes got a point well have to think about that.
As we walk across the Downs, Sarah tells me all about Steve,
her ex-boyfriend. Hes quite a bit older than she is and theyd been
together for nearly three years when suddenly one evening, after a
brilliant night out with some of her friends, hed told her that it was
over. No-one else involved, no reason other than that it just wasnt
what he wanted. Shed been devastated. Fortunately, because theyd
each had their own flats, there hadnt been much in the way of
practicalities to be sorted out and the break had been a clean one, but
she hasnt seen him since and is missing him horribly.
Sarah, thats hard. But although you dont want to hear it, you
will get over it. I never thought I would recover after Alan but
I let the sentence trail away as I my eyes rest on Giles deep in
conversation with Richard further up the path.

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Tell me about Alan, Jane. Youve got to remember that Giles

has told us nothing at all about you and although Dads been a bit
more forthcoming, youre very much an unknown.
Wondering just what Joseph might have said, I relate the sorry
tale of Alan and my credit card. Sarahs eyes flash when she realises
the full extent of the mess he left me in and suddenly I can see the
family resemblance very clearly.
And you had no family or anything to turn to? How on earth
did you cope?
I just got on with it what was the alternative?
We walk along in silence for a while as Sarah digests this.
So how did you meet Giles? she asked a small frown on her
forehead as she tries to tie this information in with the current
situation.
I can see that she is totally confused, so tell her the whole story,
how Lizzie had given me up to be brought up by her brother and his
wife, how now they were dead she had instructed Giles to find me and
make contact, how Id gone to see him at the office and consequently
gone to Bath and how it had all sort of snowballed from there.
Thats a lot of change in a very short time, Jane. You look
pretty good on it. I think I would have gone under by now. Sarah
commented
I had a pretty nasty go of the flu the other week, Sarah, in fact if
Giles hadnt done his knight in shining armour bit, I might not be
here today and, of course, a week in Sorrento does set one up!
What knight in shining armour bit? This is Giles were talking
about isnt it? Sarah asked, her eyes alight at the thought of her staid
brother in this role.
Theres been a particularly foul strain of flu going around in
Taunton and it wiped out the workforce in my office, Sarah. I went
down with it and my boss sent me home. Lizzie was expecting me so
I rang to say that I wouldnt be up for the weekend and why, and she
was so worried about me that she rang Giles. This was on the Friday
morning. He immediately announced that he would go and look after
me, packed his laptop and some basic supplies, turned up on my
doorstep later that afternoon and took over completely.
Youre joking!

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No not at all I gather that I was delirious for two days so

Im very grateful that he did. He slept, or more accurately stayed
awake, in a chair in my bedroom during that time and even got the
doctor out to me at one point I dont remember very much about it.
The first I knew was when I came round on the Monday. It was a
week before I was anything like normal.
Giles? Sarah gives me a stunned look. My sensible elder
brother who hasnt been involved with a woman for at least seven
years to my certain knowledge? Bloody hell, Jane, he must have
been head over heels in love with you.
The awful thing was that at the time, we werent even on
speaking terms. I confessed I still feel bad about that.
So that comment he made about you arguing was real.
Oh, very much so.
One day I might be able to laugh about it, I suppose.
But what on earth did you argue about? Oh, Jane, dont look so
sheepish what did he do?
He didnt do anything. It was me. Id become a bit fond of
him and, although nothing had been said or even indicated, sort of
started to think that maybe it was going to go somewhere you know
how you do.
I glance across and see she understands.
But one weekend when I was in Bath hed sort of promised
hed be over to see me, you see but he didnt materialise, and when
I got the train home, I saw him at the station being hugged and kissed
by a gorgeous blonde and jumped to the wrong conclusions. After all,
hed gone on about being the big brother Id always wanted
It takes her a moment to realise what I am talking about
Jane! You didnt! she screeched, her face alight with laughter
He never said a word about having to be over at Lizzies that
weekend oh Jane! Id phoned him late on the Friday evening just
after Steve had made his announcement and he told me to get on the
first train on Saturday morning. I spent the weekend crying all over
him and he only just about managed to put me back together again in
time for me to catch the train back to London. What on earth did you
argue about?

249

Well the argument happened at the end of the week. Wed

been communicating by e-mail several times a day up until that point
and, feeling a total fool for having assumed he might care about me
and convinced that he was in a relationship, I just cut off
communication pleading work and all sorts of other feeble excuses.
By the weekend, I was in a terrible state, dreading seeing him because
I couldnt possibly explain what had happened and the first thing he
heard when he got into Lizzies Pink Room was me agreeing to go out
with another man. It went downhill from there really. The really
awful bit was after hed gone off in a frightful temper, when Lizzie
told me that it was you at the station. I didnt know how on earth I
could remedy the situation and on top of that, Id agreed to go out
with Dan!
And then you went down with the flu. Sarah said thoughtfully
watching her brothers back goodness knows what Giles is talking
to Colin and Richard about but it seems to be engrossing. Poor old
Giles! You know, when I first heard about your engagement, I
wondered if hed gone and done something stupid. People do. But
although youve not known each other very long, it sounds as though
youve got to know each other very well in that time. If you were as
poorly as you say, how on earth did you manage?
Giles did everything he was wonderful and never once made
me feel awkward or self-conscious. Thats what he meant by
compromising me we joked about it one day. There was also the
Lizzie complication.
What do you mean?
Sarah asked,
What Lizzie
complication?
Well, Giles had worked out that Lizzie wasnt my aunt and
wasnt sure if I was his half-sister or not I gather he rampaged
around your dads study demanding to know if he was about to
commit incest!
I take it that he was wrong. Sarah commented and I nod. Oh
Jane, its good to see how much you love him. Hes the best of
brothers.
The men are waiting for us now, facing down the path towards
us. Giles smiles at me in the way which makes my stomach turn
flipflops and takes my arm as we all walk back to the house.

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Lizzie is on the verge of leaving when we get there shes tired

and Tina is insisting that she goes home. I give her a hug and help
tuck her into the car before joining everyone else in the lounge where
afternoon tea is being served. I help Joan hand round the cups and
saucers without thinking about it I am so used to doing this at
Lizzies now.
What are the plans for Christmas, Dad? Richard asked as he
sipped his tea.
Christmas Day here and Boxing Day over at Lizzie House- we
were talking it over while you were out. Joseph replied, How long
will you and Cathy be staying?
I imagine well come down on Christmas Eve, and stay over for
a few days.
Dont forget were moving Jane out of her flat. Colin
interjected, getting his diary out. Christmas Day is on a Wednesday
- we could move you on the Friday, Jane, or alternatively on the
Monday which is the 30th. Rich when are you back at work?
Not until after New Year so how about we do it on the
Monday then we could stay around here for New Year any good
parties going?
Im thinking of having one at Ivy Lodge this year. Giles put in
with a swift glance at me to see how I feel about it and taking my
smile as agreement.
Great! Weve not seen it in its finished state yet. Can we stay
with you, Dad? Richard asked.
Of course you can. What about you Colin?
Well be down on Christmas Eve as usual but will probably
have to go and see Bellas family on Boxing Day. They live over in
Newport, Jane. He said explaining But we could be back here to
move you on the Monday and stay for the party. Can we camp here,
Dad?
Yes, Colin, youll need to bring the travelling cot with you for
Tom, though. What about you Sarah?
Ill be joining the grand arrival on Christmas Eve and dont
have to be back at work until after New Year.
Part-timer! Giles muttered and receives a playful punch on the
arm by way of response from his sister.

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Maybe you could come over to Ivy Lodge and stay with us for
a couple of days, Sarah. I said, I dont know what Lizzies
arrangements are yet, but it would be nice Ive not had a sister
before.
Much better than having a brother, Jane! she replied with a
grin and I blush slightly at the reference, Id love to if Giles doesnt
mind that is.
Ill be back at work on the 27 th. he replied, Maybe I can work
something out with the car, so you can have it while Im at work,
Jane. Youd be able to get over to Lizzie House then if you wanted
to.
The party breaks up at about seven as the twins have to get back
to their respective homes. Sarah will be getting the train back to
London tomorrow and is staying at Josephs. She gives me a big hug
as we prepare to leave.
Hope the week in Taunton goes smoothly, Jane. Ill see you in
a few weeks time. Look after her, Giles.
I intend to, Sarah. He replied, waving as we drive off.
I sigh contentedly.
If you were a cat, Jane, youd be purring! I take it you approve
of my siblings.
Very much so. Sarahs a love. As for Colin and Richard
well, all I can say is that Im glad I didnt know them when they were
boys! How on earth did your Aunt cope?
Oh, Aunt Joans pretty strict and kept us all in line without too
much trouble. Lots of love and simple rules is her code. It seems to
have worked. Im glad you and Sarah get on.
I really like her we did a fair bit of talking this afternoon.
I noticed. What did you talk about?
Our respective histories, you all the usual things women talk
about. Shes come up with an interesting suggestion, Giles.
Mmmm?
I dont know why we didnt think of it a suitable wedding
date 8th February.
He stares at the road while he thinks about it.
Thats a thought, Jane. It would take off the pressure a little
January is always such a busy month. Is it a Saturday?

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Yes, do you like the idea?

Its growing on me the best birthday present Ive had to date
Jane Mortimer suitably packaged yes, I could go for that.
Youll never have an excuse for forgetting our anniversary,
Giles! I said resting my hand on his leg.
He covers it with his own and squeezes it slightly.
Somehow I dont think Im going to forget our anniversary,
Jane thats what I employ Pam for isnt it?
Its a good job for him that hes driving
Ten minutes later, he pulls into the drive at Ivy Lodge and stops
the car, taking a deep breath as he leans back in the drivers seat.
I dont know about you, Jane, but Im shattered. Today was
pretty emotionally demanding and now that the adrenaline has
stopped, Im flagging.
Then I shall fuss around you a little, Giles. Why dont you
have a nice long soak in the bath, I could come and talk to you or read
to you or something.
That would be nice, Jane sounds pretty middle aged and
boring, though.
Rubbish! Some people would say it was highly erotic. I dont
feel middle aged and boring, and neither do you.
How do you know that?
Because I have run my hands over you, Giles. I commented,
walking up the stairs,
I then have to break into a run as I realise that he is chasing me.
He catches me as I get to the bedroom door and, picking me up,
carries me squealing into the room where he dumps me in a heap on
the bed, both of us laughing.
Lets forget about the bath, Jane, and have an early night. He
whispered, gently nibbling my neck.
Giles, you are impossible!

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26.

BACK TO TAUNTON

Sunday morning is dull and cloudy. We potter around the

kitchen, neither of us talking about the fact Im going back to Taunton
today.
I watch as he slices bread for toast, aware of how much Im
going to miss him. He glances across at me,
Its only five days, Jane. He said, putting the bread in the
toaster and getting out a couple of plates.
Only?
Im trying to be positive. Ive kept your journal to read while
youre away, you know, and intend to phone you every evening. Oh,
this is absurd! Im a grown man and am behaving like a small boy
whos had his sweets taken away.
I go over and put my arms round him, resting my face on his
back.
Well that makes two of us, you silly sod! Its only until Friday
and then Ill be here make the most of your last few days of
freedom!
The toast pops up and I let him go so he can butter it. We sit
down at the table and eat, both of us subdued.
Lizzie is bouncing when we get to her house, full of
arrangements for Christmas and, although it tired her, equally full of
how good yesterday had been. We pack the boot of the car with the
stuff I need to take down to Taunton and hang the dress in the back
seat along with the things Ill need for Friday.
Take a photo of her for me, Giles. Lizzie begged.
Therell be professional photographers at the function, Lizzie.
They always put several in the local rag.
We get away just after eleven thirty well grab lunch
somewhere on the way.
Sorry, Jane, Im not terribly good company today. I suppose
its reaction to everything yesterday. I was in a bit of a state about the
siblings. Giles apologised as we turn into the car park of a pub just
outside Taunton.
Giles, dont be so silly! You havent got to be perpetually
entertaining me or being the life and soul of the party, you know.
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And when alls said and done, it has been one hell of a couple of
weeks. Do you realise that is not quite two months since I first met
you?
Is that right? he said, perking up a little and working it out,
So it is. Lets celebrate that, shall we?
He orders steak and red wine and we become rather foolish but
at least hes got over his miseries.
******
Lying in my bed, listening to the sounds of the flat, I re-live his
goodbye kiss. Only four days really I turn and snuggle into the
pillow where only a few short weeks ago he had lain his head, and go
to sleep.
It feels strange getting ready for work on Monday morning a
lifetime away. As I walk up to my office, people comment on my hair
Id forgotten about that. As soon as Matthew hears me get in, he
comes out to greet me, telling me how well I am looking. Then he
notices my ring it seems that the announcement hasnt been noticed
down here.
Congratulations, Jane whos the lucky man? he said coyly
and for a moment, I feel like being sarcastic Giles influence no
doubt!
Giles Brewster, Matthew. I replied he is not surprised.
Having found Giles in charge at my flat, anyone would jump to
that conclusion, I suppose.
The news gets round the office fairly fast and I have to show off
my ring to the succession of inquisitive secretaries life is hard
sometimes!
I get an e-mail from Giles mid morning.
Trust work not too horrendous. Ive had lots of complimentary
words about you the general consensus is that I dont deserve
you, I think. Pam thinks you are lovely and genuine. Diana
was a little caustic but that is to be expected for all her
annoying habits she is a bloody good solicitor. Im not as daft
as some people think in that respect she may be bitchy to you,
my lady, but if it becomes a problem I shall speak to her VERY
firmly. Ivy Lodge was empty without you but Sarah rang for a

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chat she figured I might be grateful for the company. She

really likes you, Jane. Id better get on with some work, I
suppose. Take care of my lady, Giles x
Good for Sarah! So he knows Diana is jealous but hes a noticing
sort of man.
Giles, Im glad Sarah rang you last night. I curled up in bed
hugging the pillow you slept on. Work is alien almost I have
moved on so much since I was last here, I dont think I am the
same person as I was. Matthew sends congratulations and
people have been coming in to see my ring all morning. Please
say hello to Pam for me ditto Philip and Andrew if you see
them. You may pass my greetings to Diana too if you think it
appropriate of course, it may just piss her off even more. I
will confess to a certain amount of gloating the man is mine,
Diana! But you will please overlook this appalling lapse of
good manners. Ill look after your lady if youll please do the
same for my man. Love Jane
Matthew has been interviewing possible replacements for me
and asks if Ill induct the lady he has chosen her name is Caroline
Bruce and she is starting on Wednesday so I can have a couple of
days to show her how everything works. I spend an hour before lunch
making a list of things I shall need to tell her.
Giles reply arrives just after lunch.
Jane, you may fight Diana over me if you wish just make sure
you win. It is rather gratifying to know you feel that strongly
will go to my head, I am sure. Philip says to tell you hes
hungover. He says it was a very successful party I assume he
told you about it on Friday night, whatever it was. I am slaving
away here but have made it quite clear to Pam that I am leaving
at lunchtime on Friday to come and spirit you away. After the
debacle with the Manchester appointment, she checks every time
a client wants to make an appointment! Ive got to go will call
you tonight. G x

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Giles, please tell Philip that he gets no sympathy from me selfinflicted pain! What I want to know is, was the girl worth it. I
shall look forward to hearing your voice tonight. Better go
Matthew wants a financial report produced .. four days more
. Love you Jane
Just before I go home, I get a reply Philip says yes. look forward to hearing what this is all about.
Gx
Its pouring with rain when I leave the office cold and
perfectly horrible. By the time I get home, my feet are soaked.
Naturally, my new boots are in Bath! Roll on Friday! Thats all I
say.
I light the candle with a smile Giles is going to phone tonight.
The flat is warm, we had a discussion yesterday about the
heating and Giles won he is a stubborn, unshiftable man at times.
Living with him is going to lively to say the least. However, I am
learning how he ticks and when he is emotionally stressed, he tends to
be more unreasonable he was very uptight about leaving me here
yesterday much more than me. I shall have to work out why that
was. Now dinner we brought some food down from Bath
yesterday so Im all right tonight, but Ill have to go shopping
tomorrow after work. I just hope it stops raining.
As my hands busy themselves beating the eggs (omelette
tonight), I muse over the situation. This is the first time Ive had a
chance to draw breath for days if not weeks. I pause in the slicing
of the mushrooms as I contemplate Giles weve shaken down pretty
fast into a sort of routine though it will need to be a lot more
organised once I move up to Bath properly. I have to say that weve
settled in quickly at Lizzie House, though Lizzie and Tina are being
very tactful in giving us plenty of space thats working well and
once we have the extra rooms, I think well be comfortable. It feels
strange being at Ivy Lodge it is so much Giles house, I dont have
even the smallest part of it at the moment though his suggestion that I

257

have one of the spare bedrooms is a good one not sure what I shall
do with it yet. I must get a computer
I ought to get a car maybe once Im earning again Ill be able
to afford one. Its all very well Giles putting me on his insurance
and I must remind him about that tonight when he phones but there
will be occasions when hell need his car and I dont want to be stuck
without transport.
Bernies nice I think Ill enjoy working with her. Shes
offered a fairly generous salary too, but rates are better in the Bath
area than they are down here. I must talk to Giles about paying Lizzie
something see what he thinks would be appropriate.
If we work on the basis of being at Ivy Lodge from Friday night
through to Monday morning with occasional visits for social events
oh, and church of course then spend Monday night through to
Friday morning at Lizzie House I wonder if Giles has contacted the
vicar yet
I carry my plate through to the lounge and sit down at the table.
The wedding if we go for the 8 th February, which would be a
sensible date from the timescale point of view as well as being so
sentimental that I daresay some people will cringe, that gives us all of
January to get it organised. Itll be a big event to my surprise, it
dawns on me that Ill enjoy that Im more Lizzies daughter than I
thought! What sort of wedding dress oh heavens!
I look at the now empty plate in front of me I dont remember
eating that omelette talk about having your mind on other things
you are loopy, Jane! Coffee, I think. The phone rings as I wait
for the kettle to boil and I glance at the clock Its far too early for it
to be Giles.
Hello? I said, theres a pause at the end of the line.
Jane? Sat you? said a voice I recognise but never thought I
would hear again . Alan. He sounds drunk. Juss thought Id give
you a call Saw the thingy notice in the paper. Congrats an all
that.
Thank you, Alan. I replied not quite knowing what to say and
feeling my temper rising how dare he call me!
Wondrd if youd be up for a drink for old times sake an
all that. He continued, slurring his words.

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You must be joking. I replied, trying hard to restrain the urge

to tell him just what a bastard he is no point starting a row now.
Anyway, sounds to me as though youve had enough. Im busy,
Alan. Goodbye.
I hang up then rampage round the room rehearsing all the
things I could have said but didnt as my temper rages. I catch sight
of the candle flickering on the mantelpiece and suddenly my anger
disappears. Alan is history ancient history.
The phone rings again and I let it ring. Ill do 1471 and see who
it is I dont need to speak to that loser again.
Mug of coffee in my hand, I discover that its a Bath number
and quickly return the call.
Hello? You just rang my number Jane Mortimer here. I said
as a woman answered.
Hi, Jane, thanks for coming back to me. Its Jessie Stubbs here
Im coming out to you on Thursday to do your nails? Just w anted to
confirm what time would be best for you. Lizzie has given me the
directions and I think Ill find you okay. Is there parking?
Oh hi, Jessie, yes, you can park on the road theres usually
space. As for time, Jessie, I get home from work at about five thirty
but Ill need to grab some food how would seven suit you? Or is
that too late?
No, seven would be fine. Ill see you then. Bye.
Nursing my coffee, I contemplate the dinner dance. Giles said
that Philip and Andrew would be there but so will Diana and I
anticipate that shell try to upstage me. Well, she can try. I laugh
Im even beginning to sound like Lizzie! Giles is unlikely to ring
before eight thirty another hour Ill ring Lizzie and see how she
is.
As expected, Tina answers the phone.
Hi, Jane, hows life in deepest Somerset?
Wet. Its pouring with rain here and I got soaked coming home
from work. But I shall survive. Can I have a word with Lizzie?
Yes, of course. Ill take the phone through to her. Shes gone
down with a nasty cold, Jane, thats probably why she was so tired on
Saturday, but its dragging her down see if you can cheer her up.

259

I hear the sound of a door opening and Tina telling Lizzie that
Im on the phone.
Jane! Lovely to hear from you. She said, and I can hear the
cold in her voice.
I hear youve been daft enough to get a cold, Lizzie. That
wasnt a good move.
No, but at least it is this week and not next. She replied, far
from her usual chirpy self but trying to be cheerful. How are you?
Im fine, Lizzie. Jessie just rang to arrange a time for
Thursday. She sounds really nice. Work was okay but Im glad that
its only for the week.
Jessies a nice girl, Jane, I think youll like her. Oh, Bernie
dropped in today, Jane, she wanted to confirm your start date as the
first week in January shell need your P whatever it is and bank
details. I suggested that it would be a good idea for you to go over to
her place one day next week to see her. She liked that idea and will
ring you here on Monday to arrange it.
Thats great, Lizzie thanks. Im really looking forward to
getting back to Bath.
Im looking forward to it too, Jane, Ive got used to having you
around. Having you and Giles here last week was lovely. It is all
rather quiet here this week. Have you had any ideas about those
rooms by the way? What did he think of the idea?
He was very much for it, Lizzie, well have to get down to
sorting that out. I must start thinking about Christmas shopping as
well, I havent done any at all yet!
You can do all that next week, Jane did Joseph mention the
arrangements for Christmas? We talked about it while you were all
out walking on Saturday. Hes doing Christmas Day and Im doing
Boxing Day weve combined forces over Christmas ever since I
moved here and it has become quite a tradition now, and of course, I
always have a big party on the Saturday after Christmas. Tinas been
busy helping me compile an invitation list is there anyone you want
to invite?
Yes, Joseph mentioned the Christmas arrangements, Lizzie.
Colin and Richard have arranged to move me on the 30 th and are
staying over for the party Giles wants to have for New Year at Ivy

260

Lodge so put that in your diary! Im really hoping that Sarah will
come and stay with us for a couple of days over the holiday period I
think she might. As for inviting people to your party I dont know
anyone except some of Giles colleagues from work.
I wonder if hed like to invite them Ill have to talk to Giles.
Im so pleased that you get on with Sarah, Jane, it would have broken
Giles heart if you hadnt. Jane, dear, I have to go Tina wants me
to have an aromatherapy bath she says it will help my cold. Look
after yourself, my girl.
Lizzie sounds pretty rough its a good thing Im moving up to
Bath. That thought motivates me and I spend half an hour emptying
the sideboard, throwing out the rubbish I wont want to take with me.
I must get some boxes from somewhere oh hell, thats going to be
awkward. I am just about to start on the kitchen cupboards when the
phone rings again.
How are you, my lady? Giles said as I watch a lunatic smile
break over my face in the mirror on the wall.
Missing you. I replied, settling down on the sofa. How are
you?
Bearing up Jane, I dont know what youve done to me, but
Im turning into an emotional wreck. He said, half joking and half
serious. I miss you terribly which is absurd.
He sighs.
Oh you silly sod! What do you expect when youve lived for
years, locking your emotions away somewhere deep inside and then
open the door of course, youre going to have an emotional roller
coaster as they all tumble out again.
How did you know thats what Ive been doing? he asked
sharply, reminding me that he is a very private person inside.
Because I worked it out, Giles, I am becoming an expert in that
all absorbing subject of Understanding Giles Brewster I anticipate
it will take the rest of my life to master it properly, though Ive made
some fairly good inroads so far.
There is a short silence at the other end of the phone I wait as
he processes this information.
I see. He said, and I can almost picture his face Sorry,
Jane, Im not used to this level of exposure it feels slightly scary.

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I know, but youll get used to it.

I love the way that we oscillate between him being in charge and
me taking over.
Lizzies not well. I said, changing the subject to give him a
breathing space.
Im sorry to hear that, Jane. Do you want me to go over?
I hadnt thought of that could you? Shes got a nasty cold
and Tina says its pulling her down. She is missing not having us
there this week.
Not a problem. Ill ring her later and suggest that I stay over
tomorrow night I can always plead the need to have someone I can
talk to about you.
Not that it would be true, of course.
Jane, you wait until I get my hands on you! By the way, Ive
been reading your journal. My turn to get embarrassed . I love
your style of writing its chatty and almost as good has having you
here.
Not to mention revealing. I said desperately trying to
remember what I wrote in the early entries.
There is that.
Giles, I came up with lots of things I need to talk to you about
while I was getting my dinner but Alans phone call put them clean
out of my head. Give me a moment and Ill remember.
Alans phone call? Not THE Alan?
Yes it was. In retrospect it was quite funny, Giles, but not at
the time. He was drunk and called to congratulate me ... hed seen the
notice in the paper. He suggested we meet up for a drink for old
times sake but I told him to get lost in a fairly restrained fashion,
hung up on him and then lost my temper rampaging round the room
thinking of all the things I could have said.
Maybe you should have said them. If I ever get my hands on
that
Hes not worth it, Giles. It made me feel sick at first but Im
okay now. Dont worry, he wont bother me again. Oh, I know what
it was I wanted to talk to you about Giles, have you sorted out the
insurance on the car? You told me to remind you.

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Yes, I rang my broker this morning Jane, I need some

information for the form. Ill get it scanned and e-mail it to you at
work tomorrow so you can see what is needed. Have you started
sorting out your stuff yet? It struck me this afternoon that you havent
got any boxes or anything.
Well done! That only occurred to me when I started sorting out
the sideboard half an hour ago! I dont know how Im going to get
hold of some. Any ideas?
Ill think about that there must be some way of getting some
to you.
Oh Giles, the other thing I wanted to mention. Have you given
any though to talking to the vicar? If were going for the 8 th Feb well
need to get the church booked.
Do I get extra brownie points for having done that too? I rang
Peter this afternoon, Jane. Hes suggested that we go over and see
him sometime next week but has pencilled in the 8 th. Hes also going
to contact Anna and Simon and see if they can make it over.
Extra brownie points and lots of hugs, Giles!
I shall look forward to claiming those, Jane, but Id better let
you get on with the sorting while I go and phone Lizzie. Ill let you
know about the box problem.
Lizzie is having an aromatherapy bath, Giles. I put in,
suddenly remembering.
Then Ill chat to her in the bath, a certain precedent has been set
in this area, I feel. Take care, my lady.
Isnt it odd how dirty the inside of a cupboard gets. Im on my
knees, my head inside the cupboard under the sink when the phone
goes again. Banging my head on the shelf, I swear and, quickly
grabbing a towel to dry my hands, rush over to pick it up.
Its me again, Giles said, and laughs as I explain just wher e I
was when the phone rang. I had a chat with Lizzie she does sound
low, doesnt she? Im going over there for dinner and fiance therapy
tomorrow night you may visualise me sleeping in your bed, my
lady. It means I wont ring you tomorrow night though. Is that
okay?
Of course thats okay. Ill just go and drown my sorrows
painting the town red.

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Just as well youre leaving Taunton then, isnt it? As for the
boxes, one of Lizzies multitudes is appearing at the Brewhouse
theatre in Taunton this week and shes going to see if she can get him
to drop off boxes at your flat tomorrow night. It would be about
sixish and she will confirm by ringing you at work tomorrow.
Thats brilliant. Oh Giles, have I told you how much I love you
lately? I remarked, suddenly overcome with a need to hold him.
Not in so many words, but Ive sort of got the general idea, I
think. Could be something to do with the idea that you wear my ring
bit of a giveaway that. Its only until Friday, you daft woman.
I know. Give Lizzie a hug for me, but dont go getting her
cold!
Is this an example of some impenetrable form of female logic,
Jane? he asked after a short silence. I shall rely on my flu jab to
keep me safe!
Idiot!
That is no way to speak to your lord and master, Jane.
My what? You wait until I get my hands on you, Mr
Brewster!
I shall look forward to it with pleasure, Miss Mortimer. He
replied smoothly completely taking the wind out of my sails. Now
go and finish off scrubbing out the cupboard, theres a good girl.
Ohhhhhhh!

264

27.

JANE LEAVES TAUNTON

Matthew is obviously making the most of having me here this

week, piling the work on from all directions. I barely have time to
draw breath before lunch on Tuesday.
At least the rain has stopped and, as we are having one of those
unusually mild days which occasionally occur in winter, I go out for a
walk down to the pond to say goodbye to the ducks during my lunch
hour. Im not going to be here after Friday; seems odd this place
has been part of my life for so long just another example of doors
opening and closing I suppose. They say that life begins at 40 .. or 41
in my case ... but I never dreamt even in my wildest dreams that it
could take the turn it has. Cinderella has nothing on me.
But Cinderella doesnt have to worry about practical things like
making sure her Prince Charming has clean shirts in the right place
How are we going to organise living in two places without having two
sets of everything? The other thing Cinderella doesnt appear to
worry about is contraception. Ill have to register with a doctor in
Bath hang on a moment, I could go and see my doctor here after
work one day this week. Tonight would be difficult and Thursday is
out because of Jessie, but tomorrow would be a possibility. If I could
get something to tide me over the next few months when I was
living with Alan, I had an injection pills are just too much hassle.
Good idea, Jane go for it! As soon as I get back to the office, I ring
up the surgery yes, I can have an appointment for Wednesday at
5.15. If I leave fifteen minutes early, I can make that and if Matthew
doesnt like it, he can go jump.
Lizzie rings just after two to say that she has got hold of Owen
(she makes it sound painful), got him to agree to collect the boxes
from her place (she has a supply which she keeps flat packed for
general use by her multitudes why am I not surprised?) and
confirms that hell drop them at my flat on his way to the Brewhouse.
She sounds a lot chirpier and is looking forward to seeing Giles this
evening. Good.
When I get home, I clear the furniture in the lounge so that there
is space to put a load of boxes I know from previous moving
experiences, that the boxes take up a lot of room. A stunned looking
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Owen appears as scheduled and I help him carry the flat-packed boxes
up from his car. He tells me that hes appearing in the production of
Cabaret which is going on there this week and invites me to go
along if I have the time as hed be delighted to organise a
complimentary ticket for Lizzies daughter. I am tempted for a
moment but decline I really dont have the time. With a cheery
smile, he says hell doubtless see me at Lizzie House sometime, and
disappears.
Once hes gone, I sprint round to the supermarket and get some
supplies oh, it is going to be so much easier once I have moved!
Dinner is pizza and I spend the rest of the evening putting the
boxes together Lizzie very thoughtfully included four rolls of
packing tape! and filling them, writing on each what is contained
within. It is amazing how much clutter one accumulates even in a life
which has been as unexciting as mine.
Wednesday morning and Caroline, my replacement, appears at
9.00. At first I get the impression that she is a bit stand-offish but
soon realise that its only shyness. Shes middle twenties, a big girl at least six foot tall - and built on statuesque lines, making me feel
small by comparison. As I plough through the typing Matthew has
given me, she reads through the list of tasks I compiled earlier this
week. When shes finished doing that, I go through it with her and
explain what each job entails. Matthew is out of the office this
morning, thank goodness, so I am able to take her into his office and
show her where the files are kept. She seems pretty bright and asks
some intelligent questions. I think shell do.
So are you moving to another job, Jane? she asked as we stop
for coffee mid morning. Matthew didnt say why you were leaving
at the interview.
Sort of, Caroline, Im moving to Bath to be nearer my mother
and also getting married so its all a bit of a life change. Ive got a
new job up there, starting in the New Year.
Wow, what does your fianc do?
I explain about Giles job and a little about Lizzie.
Thats going to be exciting, when are you planning on getting
married?

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In February, but weve got to get that organised yet. Have you
got a boyfriend?
Yes, Mike has a plumbing business here in town. Were
thinking of getting a flat together and now that Ive landed this job,
we should be able to afford it. You dont know of any nice flats
going for rent in the area do you?
Well, mine will be Ill give you the name and address of my
landlord, if you like. I offered, explaining how big the flat is and
where it is situated and she seems interested. She says shell ring the
landlord next week.
I leave her holding the fort to go off to my doctors
appointment. Fortunately, as I am only after a repeat of what I had
before, it doesnt take long. A few general questions about my health
and a quick jab with a needle and its done. Im covered for three
months by which time I should be registered somewhere in Bath
and married for that matter now theres a thought. I must do some
thinking about this children concept.
The lounge is now packed up, except for my candle holder
which burns brightly on the mantelpiece, and the kitchen is packed as
far as possible I have kept out one of everything and two mugs to
get me through to Friday. The bathroom only has the bits I need on a
daily basis left to be put in my overnight bag and I only have the
bedroom to sort out now. After dinner, I get down to it.
Giles rings just after eight thirty and I squat on the floor by the
phone the chairs have been moved over to the far wall for the
moment.
I had a lovely time with Lizzie last night, Jane. It did both of
us good. But enough of that, what have you been up to? Did the
boxes arrive safely?
Yes, Owen dropped them in last night and I have been packing
them ever since. My replacement was in the office today her
names Caroline and shes really nice - mid twenties and going out
with a local plumber theyre looking for a flat so I gave her my
landlords name.
More than Matthew deserves! he retorted hes never
forgiven Matthew for his neglect of me but I suppose I would feel the
same if the boot was on the other foot.
I thought it would be

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appropriate to take your kitchen stuff over to Lizzie House rather than
here, Jane. What do you think?
Sensible idea well need two of everything anyway if we are
running two separate establishments. I cant wait to start ripping off
that frightful wallpaper. Well have to think about what we want it to
look like.
Ill leave that to you, Jane. Make it yours I had my fling here
Think it over.
Thats a lovely idea, Giles, Ive never had somewhere that was
mine like that. Ill give it thought. Oh, I popped into the doctors
tonight and sorted out the contraception question for the next three
months.
Have you given any consideration to what happens after that,
Jane? Lizzie touched on the subject last night, and although she
didnt say so in so many words, I get the feeling shed be over the
moon if we decided to have children.
How do you feel about it, Giles?
I have a pretty clear idea in my head now of how I feel about it
but Im not going to stick my neck out first.
Id like to have children with you, Jane. Its never bee n an
issue for me before, but I suddenly realised it last weekend when we
were at Dads. Would you mind? If youre dead against it, it isnt a
problem.
Giles, my thought as I left the doctor tonight was that three
months would see us established and that perhaps I wouldnt go back
for a repeat prescription. Does that answer your question?
Very lucidly. Well go for that, shall we?
and I am reminded of the occasion when he proposed will
all our deeply emotional discussions be carried on at this practical,
almost impersonal level, I wonder?
Ive got as far as Pompeii, by the way, Jane. He went on,
breaking in on my reverie, Well take Simon and Anna up on their
offer, shall we? next May or June perhaps? By the way, have you
any preference for a honeymoon?
Ive not given it any thought, Giles. Have you?
Oh yes! If youre happy to trust me, I shall arrange a surprise
for you.

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Im for that. Will I need my passport? Only the marriage will

invalidate the one I have, wont it?
Well spotted, my lady. Well get that sorted out.
I ponder the question of how we communicate as I drag the
plastic bag from under my bed and systematically pack its contents
into a box. We both do it, this impersonal discussion of the highly
personal so why?
Is it an inability to expose my deepest emotions? I think about
that. No, not entirely, its more a case of being reluctant to express
those feelings. Oh well, at least we both do it. I wonder if hes as
aware of it as I am.
Caroline is in the office again Thursday, shadowing what I do so
I leave her to cope with one of Matthews scribbled reports while I get
the filing up to date. She may as well have a bash at that while I am
still around to interpret. Matthew wants to take me out for lunch
tomorrow which is not only nice of him but also convenient as I
wont be eating until late.
Im glad I have the dinner dance to look forward to, leaving
work is going to be emotionally challenging. Having Giles waiting at
the end of it will help.
After work, I whip into the supermarket and pick up a bottle of
wine a small thank you for Jessie. I know that Lizzie is paying her
but it is still very good of her to do this for me.
Im struck by the family likeness when she arrives very like
her mother forthright and very positive in everything she does.
Tilly is a lot softer. We chat as she works on my hands. To my
complete embarrassment, she insists on doing my feet as well I feel
my feet are less than glamorous but she gives me a full pedicure as
well as the manicure, telling me that I should have it done regularly. I
almost find myself promising to be a good girl such is the effect of
her personality. She assures me that I cant chip the nail varnish but,
once she has gone, I find I am being incredibly careful with my
fingers. The thought occurs of how I am going to get the stuff off
again Ill have to talk to Lizzie. Does one use ordinary nail
varnish remover on this industrial strength varnish?
Giles is working late tonight to make up for having tomorrow
afternoon off so I dont expect him to call. Anyway, we agreed last

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night that it would be sensible for me to have an early night tonight

tomorrows going to be a long day.
I am up bright and early, the thought of seeing Giles adding a
spring to my step as I strip the bed and put the bedding in the dirty
washing bag and add it the pile comprising my suitcase and backpack
arranging them carefully by the lounge door where he cant miss
them.
On top is a small container clearly labelled candle holder
thats going back with me and will be transported wherever we go
from here on. Silly romantic idea, I know, but it feels right. Theres
going to be a lot of upheaval in our lifestyle and one constant would
be good.
After a moments consideration, I add my box of
memorabilia exam certificates, photos of me as a child, oddments
summarising my life to date. Ill take that with me.
Theres an enormous bouquet of flowers on my desk from
Matthew when I arrive at work. He is sincerely sorry to see me go
(whatever Giles may feel about him) and has been a good boss on the
whole. Impulsively, I give him a hug. Mid morning, Im summoned
to the conference room I know I shall have to have an exit interview
with HR and assume that this is what I am being called for, but no, the
staff have assembled to present me with their leaving gift. Theyve
had a collection for me and bought a beautiful cut glass decanter and
matching glasses. It will be just right for our new home at Lizzie
House Ill just have to get a decent sideboard or something to put it
on. They also present me with a gift voucher for one of the national
chains of stores thatll come in useful. Matthew has laid on some
wine and nibbles and the presentation turns into a bit of a celebration.
How sweet of him.
He whisks me off for lunch (the Castle) it is sad how you only
get to know someone you have worked with for years and years on
the day you leave.
Carolines pretty well in the driving seat now and I leave her to
it as I go round the office saying goodbye to people. At three, I am
paged and rush back to the office to find Giles talking to Matthew,
who is congratulating him on our engagement. I desperately want to
throw my arms round him and hold him but were in company and I
must behave sensibly.

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Its silly for you to hang around now, Jane, Matthew said
Caroline looks nervous I think she was hoping to ask a few
more questions before I disappeared; oh well shell survive.
Before we go, I show Giles the presents and my flowers. I
know Im gushing a little but thats allowed under the circumstances.
I have a couple of bags of stuff in addition to all that, and check that I
have picked up my mug Yes, all present and correct. Its time to
go unexpectedly tearful, I give Matthew another hug. But Giles is
waiting by the door with most of the baggage, and feeling rather
numbed by it all, I pick up my flowers and follow him down to the
car.
He loads everything into the boot of the car then, taking my
flowers and carefully placing them on the back seat of the car, turns to
me and takes me in his arms. We stand there like a couple of idiots
for several minutes, just holding on to each other.
Come on, you daft woman! Weve got things to do. He said
eventually, releasing his hold on me. Weve got a time advantage at
the moment, lets make the most of it.
As he drives off, I enthuse all over him telling him all about the
day the presentation, lunch with Matthew and everything every
now and then he glances over at me with a satisfied air.
They certainly did you proud with that decanter set, Jane. Its
good quality crystal. What are you going to spend the vouchers on?
Well, Ive got a home to set up havent I? Half a home, at any
rate. Oh Giles, it is so good being with you again.
Ill second that. He said, and the law of inverse proportion
which applies to all our emotional exchanges translates that into
something vastly more enthusiastic.
At the flat, I whisk through to the kitchen Ive remembered I
didnt empty the fridge, throwing the few bits in there into a carrier
bag as Giles takes the baggage down to the car. Together we go
through the flat checking Ive not left something behind and turning
off both the heating and the hot water. The heap of boxes in the
lounge will be moved when Colin and Richard come down on the
30th, the bookshelves standing empty beside the pile.
Well, I think thats it, Jane. Giles said, checking the drawers
in the sideboard. Time to go.

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All of a sudden, Im struck by a pang of nerves.

This is it, the final fling from here on, it will be us not just
me anymore.
My logical self immediately leaps into the breach muttering
about stable doors and horses but it doesnt help much. Giles lays an
arm around my shoulder, he doesnt say anything, but I know he
understands and that in itself is comforting. Together we close the
door, checking its safely locked, and go down to the car. We are still
an hour ahead of schedule and the roads are reasonably clear so we
make good time going back to Ivy Lodge. As we get further away
from Taunton, my life there becomes almost dreamlike, Bath
becoming more real by the second.
He parks outside Ivy Lodge.
Coffee before we unload everything?
Thats a good idea.
He hands me my flowers and picks up the candle holder from
the back seat of the car where he had put it, and we go into the house.
I had a bit of an idea when I was down in Taunton. I began, as
he puts the kettle on,
Hmmm ?
Its about my candle holder I thought we could take it with us
wherever we are
Hes silent for a moment, his back to me, then he turns and I see
the emotion in his face,
Jane, thats the most beautiful idea. Well have to get a
travelling case made for it. Wherever we call home, itll be there.
We laugh at ourselves for being such silly people, getting
emotional about a candle holder while underneath the emotional
river runs deep.
The coffee stabilises us, a glance at the clock shows that we
have to get moving.
What are the timescales, Giles? I have to get showered, dry my
hair and dress.
oh and that blessed make up!
We have to be at the venue by about 7.45. It is a half hour
drive from here, so we need to leave at 7.15. It is now six oclock
if I unload the car while you shower then I can shower while you dry

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your hair, Jane. I can then help with any zips or whatever. My kit is
all ready to go and your dress is hanging on the door in the spare
room next to my no, our bedroom. That was the only place I could
find which was long enough.
Then let us get going, Mr Brewster! I said, leaping to my feet
and raring to go.
Onwards and upwards, Miss Mortimer.
By the time Ive finished in the shower, hes brought up my bag
and I quickly disinter my hair dryer. My hair decides to behave
tonight and turns under at the ends just as I want it to a reasonably
rare event! Jessies prediction has held so far my nails look perfect.
While Giles showers, I take a deep breath and attack the make
up. I have a small disaster with the eyeliner but a quick visit to the
bathroom to wash my face again (earning me comments about a man
not being able to have a shower in peace and a lecherous invitation
to join him) gets me right back to square one my second attempt is
a lot more successful. By the time, Giles emerges from the bathroom,
I am looking more glamorous than I ever have before.
Wow! Jane, that looks fantastic. Do detect a certain amount of
Lizzies instruction here? You dont normally wear make up, do
you?
Thank you, kind sir, I had a gruelling session with her the other
day she was not at all forgiving. Does it look okay.
If it were not for the fact that I dont want to mess it up, I would
show you just how okay it looks, you daft woman!
I wait as he gets into his trousers and dress shirt, and watch with
interest as he ties his bow tie. My observation that I thought people
generally wore the instant variety earns me a filthy look and the
comment that some people might, but he most emphatically does not.
Can you help me get into my dress, please Giles.
Of course, what do you want me to do oh I see. He said as
hold it out for him to put over my head and then adjust it so that he
can do it up for me.
Will I do? I said when he has finished, turning so he can get
the full effect from the front.
Yup. Youll do.

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He has to help me with the necklace I just cant manage the

catch. I add the earrings and shoes and transfer a few vital supplies
into the handbag which Lizzie dug out which matches the dress.
Picking up the shawl, I look at myself in the mirror
I feel like a princess.
You look like one.
You look pretty good in that suit too.
Thank you, kind lady.
The butterflies are having a field day in my stomach by the time
we arrive at the hotel but, remembering Lizzies words, I hold my
head high, remember that I look bloody good, and take Giless arm
proudly. We cause a minor flurry of excitement as we make our
entrance. Giles is obviously well known in the legal community and
people have seen the announcement of our engagement.
As we make our way across the reception area to where the
drinks are being handed out, he is accosted by several people. I am
introduced to Paul (short, balding and almost gnome-like), Clive (the
one I remember Joseph saying has elevated ideas of the importance of
his firm) and Simon (sixties and flirtatious). Each and every one of
them shows in his eyes appreciation for how I look and I gradually
become intoxicated with the concept. It doesnt go to my head in a
negative way, but certainly boosts my confidence. Giles looks so
incredibly proud of me as well.
We eventually make it to the drinks table where Philip is
standing and I gratefully greet a face I know.
Jane, you look stunning! Giles, you lucky man! He exclaimed
to Giles delight, before introducing me to the young lady by his side.
I glance at him swiftly raising an eyebrow is this the lady I
wonder? He nods imperceptibly.
Jane, this is Katherine.
Giles is giving me a questioning look over Philips head and I
smile at him Ill get him up to speed on this later.
We stand and chat to them for a short time; Andrew and his wife
come over to join us. While I am talking to them, I become aware
that Diana has materialised and is draping herself on Giles shoulder.
Philip looks concerned but I give him a confident grin before turning
towards her with a friendly smile.

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Diana, how nice to see you again. I said holding out my hand
so she has to let go of Giles in order to shake it.
She takes in my appearance with obvious chagrin. She is
dressed in a sinuous black velvet dress and looks very nice I tell her
so. She smiles at me with her mouth.
I was just reminding Giles that he always has a dance with me,
Jane. She said sweetly, stressing the word always, her eyes like
gimlets.
I look around,
Oh, Diana, youre not here on your own, are you? How sad.
Giles, of course, you must give Diana a dance. Theres nothing worse
than coming to something like this on your own.
Giless lips twitch slightly; I can see Andrew standing behind
Diana with an appreciative grin on his face.
Giles, I am sure we know lots of eligible men we could
introduce Diana to are you interested in the arts at all, Diana, I know
lots of nice musicians. I continued, taking Giles arm. You must
come over to Ivy Lodge sometime for a meal.
Diana flounces off.
Set, game and match, I think, Jane. Says Philips voice quietly
in my ear.
Andrew raises his glass to me and I bow slightly acknowledging
the compliment.
Jane, you fight dirty! You wait until I tell Dad! Giles said, his
eyes alight with glee. What do you think I should offer her, a barn
dance?
Somehow I dont think shell accept you, Giles. Andrew said
Well done, Jane.
Giles! Nice to see you.
Gary let me introduce you to Jane. Jane, this is the guy you
were e-mailing from Sorrento.
I can see why you were missing her, Giles, Gary teased
gently, Jane, nice to put a face to the e-mail - let me introduce you to
Sally.
Jane, Ive heard lots about you from Anna and Jo nice to meet
you in the flesh. Sally said, Congratulations on your engagement as
well.

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Thanks, Sally.
Hows Anna have you heard from her
recently? I meant to e-mail her this week but, stupidly, left her
address in Bath. I explained as she takes the glass Gary is handing
her and they exchange one of those involuntary glances that lovers do
without realising it.
Yes, I told her Id be seeing you tonight and she sends her love.
Shes heard from Jane and Peter about your proposed wedding date
and said to tell you that they intend to be here. Thats right, isnt it
Gary?
Yes, that was the message. Whens the big day then, Giles?
As Giles answers, I glance at Sally this woman I have heard so
much about. Shes a little shorter than I, and not as dark. I try to
remember what Anna told me
Youve got two children, havent you, Sally? I asked as the
men start talking about work. Teenagers, I think Anna said.
Yes, well, actually no, its three really. My niece, Abigail, was
orphaned last year and now lives with us. Shes the same age as my
son, Ben. Katie is a year older.
Three teenagers! That must be a handful, and you work as
well, I understand.
Yes, Im a school administrator though it does mean that I get
school holidays which is an asset. The kids are pretty good though.
People are starting to move into the dining room now ; Giles
takes my arm. The seating arrangements are fairly fluid and we end
up on a table with Gary, an older man who belongs to Garys firm and
whose name I dont catch, Philip and Andrew and their respective
partners.
Diana has disappeared somewhere though I do get a glimps e of
her in the crowd on the other side of the room.
The meal is delightful the food well prepared and served and
the company great fun. Giles is on form, ably assisted by Gary who
seems to be as crackers as he is.
Sally and I go off to the ladies together at the end of the meal.
Anna and Jo are right we do get on well.
As we go in, I hear Dianas voice holding forth.
. jumped up little secretary! And illegitimate to boot! Poor
Giles.

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Sally looks at me anxiously, but her concern is wasted.

I
almost feel Lizzie standing behind me.
Hello, Diana. You know what they say, talk of the devil and
hell appear. Now what was it you were saying about me? I asked
with a smile, enjoying her sudden realisation that she really has
overstepped the mark. Let me think . jumped up little secretary
wasnt it? Oh, and illegitimate to boot. I think you said. Would
you care to add anything further?
There are five ladies in the room, all waiting to see what Diana
is going to do. She stands there looking like a goldfish with her
mouth opening and shutting as she desperately tries to find something
to say.
No? Lost for words? I continued. Dear me, you werent
having any trouble finding words just now oh, and for your
information, I am a highly qualified little secretary and, whatever
my antecedents, I appear to have been taught manners, which clearly
you have not. I shall resist the temptation to tell you what I think of
you, I wouldnt lower myself to your level. Now, if youll excuse
me, I came in here to use the toilet.
Head held high, I walk past her into the second room where the
toilets are situated. Sitting myself in the cubicle, I register the fact my
hands are shaking I can hear the women talking. Theyre not
taking Dianas side. I dont think shes terribly popular.
As I wash my hands, Sally appears.
You all right, Jane? she asked quietly, her eyes meeting mine
in the mirror. That was pretty horrendous. But well done, she went
off with her tail between her legs. Who is she?
She works with Giles and had aspirations in that direction not
that he was interested. She hates my guts for obvious reasons.
I can see that. Stupid woman! For all she knows, youll insist
that Giles sacks her. Youll have to tell him, Jane.
Do I have to? I dont like to carry tales, it seems so petty.
Dont be ridiculous, Jane. I can see why you got on so well
with Anna!
She chuckles as though at some private joke.

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If you dont tell him, hell be hopping mad when he finds out
and hes bound to find out. I dont know who those women were but
theyll tell their other halves. Dont look so desolate, Jane!
I suppose youre right. Come on, theyll be wondering where
we are.
As we go back into the dining room, we realise that the speeches
have started. Ive no idea who the speaker is. Giles gives me a
concerned glance as I sit down but my smile obviously allays his fears
and he contents himself with laying his hand over mine on the table.
Gary is giving Sally similar treatment.
Under the noise of the applause, Giles asks me what happened
in the ladies.
Diana came out of there like a bat out of hell, gave me a scared
look and high-tailed it out of the room.
I glance at Sally and she gives me an I told you so look.
She was talking about me when we went in there, Giles, and I
put her right on a couple of points. I said ignoring the smothered
choking noise I can hear from Sallys direction.
Sally, will tell me what really happened, please. Giles said, his
grip on my hand tightening.
Shes sitting the other side of him so it is quite easy for her to
give him the details. I watch Giles jaw tighten as she tells him what
Diana said but, as she relates how I dealt with it, his appreciation of
the scene kickstarts his sense of humour into action and Im relieved
to see his smile appear, if a little wryly.
Bloody fool of a woman! Are you all right, Jane? That cant
have been pleasant.
Im fine it shook me a little, but Im okay now. I feel a little
sorry for her to be honest. Shell be dreading seeing you in the
office.
Mmmmm. Im not particularly looking forward to it myself.
He said with a sigh. Still, lets not allow it to spoil the evening. The
dancing will start shortly, my lady, and thats somet hing weve not
done yet. They usually have a few ballroom dances to begin with.
His unspoken question hanging in the air.
Lovely I enjoy a waltz. I replied and he relaxes.

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As the music starts, Giles leads me through the tables to the

dance floor at the opposite end of the room we are one of the first
couples up and I can hear a certain buzz of sotto voce conversation
which suggests that the story of my encounter with Diana is going the
rounds.
There is the flash of a camera and Giles comments that the press
are out in force we are likely to be a prime target. I smile up at him
and the bloody thing flashes again.
Lizzie would be proud of you, Jane. Giles said when he has
stopped chuckling at my reaction to the flash.
I glance up at him as we waltz round the floor (thank goodness I
learned to ballroom dance at school!). His eyes are darting round the
room taking in the fact that gossip is running round it.
Jane, you look stunning, you have taken a particularly nasty
episode in your stride and I am incredibly proud of you. He said, his
face revealing nothing of what he is saying anyone watching
would think we were discussing the weather.
We smile at each other and there is another flash.
At the end of the dance, on our way back to our table, we are
called over to virtually every table we pass. Without a doubt, the
consensus is in our favour. Only one man comments directly; hes of
the same generation as Joseph and I get the feeling that he has known
Giles a long time.
Is this your fiance, Giles? Nice you meet you, young lady.
You take after your mother in more than looks, I see. Tell her that
Matt sends his love next time you see her, please.
Whos that? I whispered to Giles as we moved on.
Matthew Holden, hes the president of the Law Society here in
Bristol, hes another of the crowd that went to school with Dad. I
think youve got the seal of approval, Jane.
The reporter comes up to us and checks our names, telling us
that our photo will be in the Daily Press on Monday. He goes on to
say that copies will be available from the newspaper offices and gives
Giles his card.
The rest of the evening is a blur of dancing, drinking and
laughter ... though in Giles case the drinking is lemonade as hes
driving. I dance with Gary a couple of times and even with Andrew,

279

but Philip is taken up completely with his new lady. During one of
the intervals when we are sat at the table, I tell Giles about Katherine
and how one of Philips sisters set them up on a blind date the other
week.
At the end of the evening, we walk out of the dining room with
Gary and Sally. Standing on the steps of the hotel, Im glad of the
shawl. Gary turns to Giles,
I havent replied to your invitation to dinner yet, Giles, but we
must get together sometime. These two seem to get on and it pays to
keep the ladies happy. Ouch! he exclaimed as Sally pokes him in
the ribs.
Were having a New Years Eve party, Giles replied, his arm
firmly round my waist hes been hanging on to me in one way or
another for the last hour or so. Ill let you have details but do come
and, Sally, please bring your young people if you want to. I know
Jake and will be inviting him anyway.
Thanks, that would be lovely maybe we could get together
with Jo and Alastair and combine transport.
She reaches over and gives me a hug (Giles has to let go of me
for a moment).
Keep in touch, Jane.
I will youve got Lizzies number, ring me when youve
broken up and well get together for a coffee sometime.
That was a wonderful evening, Giles! I announced, sinking
back into the car seat and realising that I am tired. I do like Sally.
Garys nice too.
Yes, it was a good night, Jane. But I shall be more than happy
to hit the sack. Its been a lo ng day.
Yes, but a good one. I replied, laying my hand on his leg as he
drives out of Bristol. You said to start as I intend to go on.
Yes, I did, didnt I? he laughs and covers my hand with his.
Ill have to watch what I say in future, wont I?

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28.

SAND BAY

Daylight is showing round the curtains when I wake not sure

what time it is I need to go to the loo. Sliding out from under the
duvet so as not to disturb Giles, I grab my dressing gown and make
my way to the bathroom. A glance in the mirror shows a panda
looking at me I did wash off the make up last night at least I
had a good go at it the mascara appears to have migrated
overnight. I have another quick scrub and manage to shift most of it
... at least I look presentable now.
I open the bathroom window and peep out the suns shining
and although the air is chilly, it feels refreshing. Must be midmorning what time did we get to bed? Has to have been about
three at least. Shivering, I close the window again and peer at myself
in the mirror again picking up the comb on the shelf by the basin,
I drag it through my hair thats better, I feel semi-human again.
Coffee would help
I wander down to the kitchen, Im still not very familiar with the
house and feel like an invader a visitor dont be silly, Jane! I
fill the kettle and, while its boiling, look through the cupboards for
mugs and coffee the second one I try yields the coffee ah,
mugs! Feeling pleased with myself, I carry the two steaming mugs
of coffee upstairs, nudging the bedroom door open with my knee. I
put them down on the bedside unit, and sit on the bed beside the now
stirring Giles. He opens one eye and, registering me sitting there,
gives me one of his relaxed grins.
Good morning, my lord. Ive made you some coffee. I said,
picking up mine and sipping it as I watch him wake.
He blinks and struggles to sit up,
Great thanks Whats the time?
Nearly eleven, weve slept pretty late. Looks like lovely day
outside.
Is it? what do we need to do today? he said, reaching for
the mug beside him.
Nothing that I know of, theres probably things we could do
Christmas shopping for one but just for once, I dont think we have
to be anywhere special today.
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Thank goodness for that! he replied, lying back against the

pillows, I dont seem to have done anything but rush around for
weeks a quiet day doing nothing much sounds like heaven. Blow
the Christmas shopping, we can fit that in sometime during the week.
We sit there drinking our coffee in a companiable silence for a
few minutes. Its cosy.
Jane, how do you fancy escaping for the day?
What do you mean?
Oh, just piling into the car and going somewhere in the open
for a walk getting some fresh air.
Sounds good where do you suggest? I replied, rising and
going over to the window to open the curtains.
He winces as the bright sunlight swamps the room.
Dont know, tell you what, lets throw on some clothes, grab a
bit of breakfast and just go while the daylight is on our side. He said,
throwing off the covers and leaping out of the bed energetically.
He comes over and gives me a hug and for a moment the
possibility of going back to bed weighs in the balance
Fresh air, Mr Brewster! We can go to bed when the daylight
has gone. I said extricating myself from his grip with a smile.
With an answering smile, he dashes off to the bathroom while I
try to remember where I put my jeans theyre in one of these bags ,
arent they?
Half an hour later, finishing off our toast in the kitchen, he
reveals the plan hes come up with.
Well go over to Sand Bay its wild and unspoilt there and we
can either climb up the headland or just walk along the beach. Youll
like it there, Jane. But youd better wrap up warmly have you got
an anorak or anything like that?
No, Ive only got my black coat here.
I really must get myself organised with clothes in the right
places.
Never mind, Ive got an old waxed jacket you can borrow
Sarah borrows it sometimes. It might be a bit large but itll keep the
wind out and were not going for sartorial elegance today. You can
drive.
What! I said startled he grins at me fiendishly.

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Now youre on the insurance, you can use the car but its
probably a good idea if Im around when you try it the first time so I
can show you where everything is, dont you think? I thought wed
give it a try this week with me using the train so you can have wheels.
I dont have any appointments out of the office and it seems a sensible
thing to do.
Oh.
I really am going to have to come up with a suitable forfeit for
you every time you do that he said pensively, ducking as I throw
the tea towel at his head. Oh, offering me violence, are you?
Laughing, he leaps up and chases round the table, catching hold
of me before I can do more than get to my feet. The fiend looks just
like Colin for a second. Pinning my arms behind me, he cocks his
head on one side
Now what shall I do with you, my lady?
he asked
consideringly.
I chuckle, wriggling hard, trying to get out of his grip and failing
completely. Suddenly he releases my arms, grabs hold of me and
kisses me soundly.
Giles, I never realised how much of a brute you are! I said,
looking at him adoringly, when I can finally speak. Im a delicate
little flower, you know.
The cryptic look which answers that comment says it all!
As we leave the house, he hands me the car keys. A glance at
the big expensive car standing in the driveway and my confidence
dribbles out through my boots to dissipate somewhere in amongst the
gravel. Its a while since I last drove anything ... suppose I do
something stupid and scratch it.
Its only a car, Jane. Giles said apparently understanding my
hesitation. If you damage it, I promise not to scream too loudly.
That puts me on my mettle, its one thing me worrying about
scratching it but quite another him suggesting Im likely to! Im a
competent driver ... thank you very much, Mr Brewster! At least, I
used to be
Chin held high, I unlock the car and get into the drivers seat,
groping about underneath it for the adjustment Giles has longer legs
than I do. Once the seat is right, I check the mirror and look at the

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controls in front of me. It all seems fairly clear taking a deep

breath, I start the engine and glance down at the gear stick.
Wheres reverse, Giles?
For some reason I cannot fathom, every car Ive ever driven has
had the reverse gear in a different place. Goodness knows why the
manufacturers cant get together over it and rationalise things
Lift the knob, then up and over to the left thats it. Youll
have to watch the clutch, its a bit fierce. He said helpfully as I
manage to stall the engine first time.
My second attempt is more successful, and, without any further
problems, I succeed in reversing the car round to face the gate and
were off.
Youll have to give me directions, Giles. I said, waiting at the
gate, do I go left or right here?
Left here, Jane, then follow the road down to the A37 where
you take another left. He replied, sitting back and relaxing. Its nice
being driven for a change.
Id forgotten how much I like driving and once the initial
strangeness has worn off, I settle down to enjoy the experience.
Giles is good at giving directions. Apart from one hiccough
when I mis-hear his instruction and turn off when I shouldnt have,
having to turn the car round in a narrow lane with deep ditches either
side - much to his amusement - we arrive safely on the outskirts of
Weston-super-Mare. Sand Bay is off to the north of the main town;
Giles directs me past a large housing estate which abruptly becomes a
winding country lane with the sea visible in the distance. After
driving along parallel to the sea for a mile or so, I park in the National
Trust car park at the end of the road and turn the engine off.
No problems there. Giles commented as we get out of the car.
I didnt think there would be.
We put on our jackets although the sun is shining brightly, the
air is cold and the breeze here on the coast is chilly. Im very glad I
have my gloves.
Arm in arm, we wander over to the beach. From this end of the
sweeping bay, where the headland rises steeply, thrusting out into the
sea, we can see right down the full expanse of the beach. As Giles
had said, it is totally wild, the dunes covered in scrub grass rising on

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our left and the sea miles out on the right. We stroll along the bottom
of the headland, and sit on some rocks near the end. The su n is trying
hard to be warming though not succeeding particularly well.
I did enjoy last night. I said, watching him throwing pebbles
at a dead tree which has been washed up here Sally is really lovely
I think Ive made a friend there.
Mmm, Youll have to get in touch with her. When youre at
Lizzie House youll be able to do that sort of thing Im sorry about
Diana, though.
What are you going to do about her, Giles?
He sighed,
I dont know. I cant let it go and whilst it may be best if
she leaves, shes a bloody good solicitor and it would be tragic for her
to leave the team over something so petty. Not that I think abusing
you is petty, Jane. He added quickly, But her jealously is absurd.
How long has she been with the firm?
He contemplates for a moment.
Four and a half years she started when Dad went into
retirement. She came to us from a firm up in the north of England.
Contrary to what youd think, shes a good team player she keeps
the flirty stuff for my benefit and, up until now, its only manifested
itself at the occasional office party when Ive been able to laugh it off
and escape without anyone being hurt.
Pam warned me about her at the pub the other day, Giles. I
dont think shes in love with you, only with the concept of being the
managing partners wife though I may be wrong.
No, I dont think you are, Jane. Id have noticed if that were
the case at least I think I would have done. Shes just got used to
the idea that Im available and, I have to say, that one or two clients
have commented on what a good team we are, which may have given
her the idea.
He throws a couple more pebbles at the tree trunk.
Itll depend a lot on what she does on Monday, I suppose. If
she apologises then we can move on from there though I have no
intention of giving her the idea that I, in any way, forgive her
behaviour to you.
He sits in silence fiddling with the pebble in his hand.

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If she doesnt apologise then Ill have to consider

disciplinary action. Silly bitch that she is! Come on, enough of Diana
lets go up the headland and then go find some lunch I think one
of the cafes down there was open when we came past.
Hand in hand we mount the steps and stroll along the path
leading up the side of the headland. Its glorious up here, the sky a
lovely clear pale blue, the water sparkling below us and a large heavy
transport vessel of some sort moving up the river in a stately fashion.
Thats Wales over there you can see the power station at
Swansea from here. Giles said, pointing towards the distant coastline.
The breeze is ruffling his hair he looks absurdly young he
catches me watching him and smiles, making my stomach turn
cartwheels. Then, catching my hand and breaking into a run, he pulls
me along the path ..
Come on, Jane, lets go for it!
Its exhilarating and, although Im puffing by the time he comes
to a halt, were both laughing. There are sheep in the field below us,
the ones nearest to us shying away as we climb over the stile.
He stands behind me, wrapping his arms around me as we catch
our breath, looking down at the cove below us ... three kids have
made their way down to it and are jumping on the rocks. I lean back
against him, just revelling in his closeness.
There is so much we dont know about each other, Jane. I
realised that when I was reading your journal. You are sure you want
to go ahead with the wedding so quickly, arent you?
I turn to face him, and study his face for a moment. Hes
looking very serious.
Is this where we go through that daft process, each offering the
other the chance to back down? I said, remembering something
Simon had told me.
He blinks in surprise, whatever he thought I was going to say,
this is clearly not it.
Do you think were rushing things, Giles? Do you want to wait
a little longer?
No, not at all, I just wondered

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Then why should you think that Id have doubts? I asked him,
smiling and thanking my lucky stars that I had that long talk with
Simon it would be so easy for us to misunderstand each other
He is looking bewildered, vulnerable even I get the sudden
urge to just hold him safely in my arms.
Giles, I cant deny that weve got a lot to learn about each
other, some of it may be difficult I doubt well agree on everything
but what we do have is a very good foundation to build on. I dont
think wed gain anything by putting the wedding off, Giles, its pretty
clear that we want to be together come what may and we may as well
make it legal.
He pulls me into his arms, holding me tightly. I wrap my arms
round him, feeling the tension loosening.
He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
Then wed better go and find some lunch, dont you think, Mrs
Brewster-to-be? Id better start looking after you properly. He said,
sounding far more like his normal self.
Have you been doing it improperly up to now? I asked with a
grin as we start walking back the way we came.
You daft woman! comes the cheerful reply. Race you to the
stile!
We leave the car where it is and walk along the beach towards
the caf. There are a few people out exercising their dogs and we
greet them in true English fashion with a polite good afternoon.
One woman gets my attention. She has three no, four
children of assorted ages ten through to mid-teens I reckon and
theyre systematically working their way along the tideline, fishing
out lumps of driftwood from the heaps of seaweed and stowing them
in bags. I cant imagine why shes doing that.
What do you reckon shes doing, Giles? I asked curiously,
pointing out the woman to him.
Ah! That brings back memories! he said smiling fondly at the
remembrance, I bet shes got an open fire or some sort of wood
burning stove. We used to do that. Aunt Joan reckoned that the wood
warmed us three times once collecting it on the beach, once
chopping it into usable sizes and once when we burned it in the fire.
She was a great one for sensible occupation and used to drag us down

287

here on Sunday afternoons in the spring and autumn. Sarah got off
fairly lightly she wasnt expected to chop the wood up at home I
always felt that was unfair. We used to burn it in the open fire in the
lounge. Driftwood burns well though you have to watch for the
sparks the salt, you know. I remember one year, Dad even went as
far as getting a petrol-driven chainsaw because there are large trees
washed up here fairly regularly and its such a waste of wood. There
theres one over there.
I love it when he talks about family life its so very different
from my own experience. Almost like something out of a book the
sort of book I used to read when I was a kid.
The caf is doing a reasonable trade. We find a table in a corner
and look at the menu. While the waitress goes off to see to our order,
I look round at the pictures on the walls all wartime aircraft, the
owner is obviously a World War II buff.
This wedding of ours, Jane, we need to go and see the vicar one
evening this week with Christmas coming up hes going to be busy.
Have you made an appointment?
No we left it that Id ring him I reckon early in the week
would be better. Only if were going to have banns read, well have
to get a move on. I dont think my familys going to let us get away
with a quiet wedding somehow, Jane. Do you mind?
No, not at all. Ive already come to that conclusion myself.
Lets push the boat out and invite everyone. At the end of the day, I
think it will save hassle. Who are you going to have for a best man?
Oh grief! Id not thought of that. Usually its your best friend
or brother, isnt it? I dont have a particular best friend as such, lots
of very good friends but no-one in particular, and as for brothers, I am
rather over-endowed in that department I cant chose one over the
other.
Why not have both? What does a best man have to do?
Look after the ring and generally hold the groom together I
was best man for both Colin and Richard, so I know about that I
suppose they could both do it. Ill have to talk to Dad and see what he
thinks. Have you given thought to bridesmaids?
We pause as the waitress brings our meals over.

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Thank you, no, thats lovely. I said as she asked if we wanted

anything else. The bridesmaid question do you think Sarah
would oblige? I havent anyone my side.
Im sure shed be delighted, Jane. this chickens tasty is
yours okay? Well have to work out some music they dont have a
choir at the church but maybe Jo would sing for us.
Youve got nephews, havent you? Ought we have them as
page boys?
Toms far too young for that hes only a year old, Jane. Joe
might be okay though do you want a page boy?
Not really fussed, to be honest, just trying to accommodate
everyone.
You daft woman! This is your wedding not a family
entertainment! Hey, if you dont want that roast potato, I can find a
home for it.
Youll get fat! I teased, passing the vegetable in question
across to his plate.
Nonsense, with all the exercise Im getting these days, I need to
keep my strength up! he replied with a wicked glint in his eye.
I toy with the idea of making a comment but decide that
restraint is probably the wisest course I have a funny feeling Id
come off worse in this particular encounter.
Although its only just after three when we leave the caf, the
light is starting to disappear and the sun is decidedly cooler. We walk
briskly back to the car and get in.
What do you want to do now? I asked, my hands on the
steering wheel.
I dont know, nothing much. Shall we go back to Ivy Lodge
and just chill out? Ive got pizza in the freezer which we could eat
later on. We could watch a DVD or listen to music or whatever
you fancy.
I like the sound of that. I said as I start the engine.
I wait while he takes his mobile phone out of his pocket the
wretched thing is ringing.
Its Lizzie, Jane. He said recognising the number on the
screen, Hello, oh hi, Tina. No, were not at Ivy Lodge at the
moment. . Hang on a mo, Ill ask her.
Weve been invited

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over to Lizzie House for lunch tomorrow do you fancy going to

church before it? We could nab the vicar and pin him down to an
appointment.
Yes, thats a sensible idea.
Hello, Tina? Yes, she likes that idea well come over to
church as well, though I think itd be just as well if we meet you there
rather than going to Lizzie House first gi ve Lizzie our love.
bye.
That will be nice, Giles. I said, contentedly, letting in the
clutch and moving off down the road. Ive got a lot to tell her.
Purr, purr, purr. comments the lunatic at my side with a
chuckle.
Idiot! Did you ever have pets, Giles?
Oh yes, we had quite a menagerie at times. Sarah usually had a
cat of some sort they were pretty unlucky moggies from what I
remember, forever getting run over well, not the same cat every
time of course I had a dog Buster he arrived just before Sarah
was born. Looking back, it must have been the parents endeavour to
stop me feeling unwanted because of the baby arriving.
What was he like?
He was a real mutt basically black Labrador, but not terribly
bright. We went everywhere together trailing over the Downs for
hours on end. He lasted a good while too Id finished university and
come home again before he died.
What about the twins did they have dogs?
No they tended to go for caged animals rabbits and guinea
pigs though at one time they had a clutch of hens and fought over
the eggs. Aunt Joan was great like that, I sometimes think that she
was a better mother than wed have had otherwise.
What was your mother like, Giles? Do you remember at all? I
asked, negotiating a roundabout and hoping to goodness I am going
the right way Giles is off in the land of reminiscence.
I can picture her quite clearly - looking much like Sarah, small,
blonde and pretty. She and Dad were quite a love match, you know
Jane. She was the younger daughter of a family which used to be
lords of the manor up Cheltenham way.
Where did they meet?

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At school in a flash of post WWI equality, shed been sent

to the same school as Dad and Lizzie, of course. They fell in love
at a ridiculously early age and her family werent at all happy with it
they sent her off to some art school in Paris for a year in the hope it
would break her of it - it was one thing to send your daughter to a
common or garden grammar school but quite another for her to want
to marry a boy she met there.
But your dads respectable.
Yes, but he comes from good solid Bristolian middle class
merchant stock trade, my dear. Dad was the first in the family to
go off to university and better himself quite broke the mould but
even that wasnt good enough for her family.
Thats sad.
Yes it must have been difficult. Looking at it, Mum and
Dad were very patient. It wasnt until Dad had qualified and got his
first post just before he and Gordon Toms got together and founded
the firm that they were allowed to get married. I arrived six months
later which gives you a vague idea of how strong-minded my mother
was. She was going to marry Dad come what may and forced their
hand (and his probably) to achieve it. Ironic, really, when you think
of what Diana said last night!
Do you see anything of her side of the family, Giles?
We used to when they were living in the area. Once the firm
started to get established, they were a lot less frosty and wed go over
there for Christmas and during the summer holidays. Mum had a
brother, Dominic, younger than her and they were quite close. I
remember him quite clearly he taught me how to climb trees. She
didnt get on with her older sister, Frances, at all, though and we
rarely saw her and her family. They emigrated to New Zealand when
I was twelve or thereabouts and we dont hear from them very often
these days. Dominic married a French woman about fifteen years ago
and lives in the south of France. We exchange Christmas cards they
havent got any children. Jane, you need to take the next right.
Thanks, I wasnt sure about that one, though Ive done rather
well to get this far, I feel!
Yes, very good Im impressed. You know, Ive just realised
something - I owe Dad an apology.

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Oh? Why?
Well, I more or less accused him of being unfaithful to Mum
when you think about it and as if that were not enough, only a year
after they were married.
You did, didnt you! Oh Giles you silly sod! I pull up
outside the house and turn the engine off.
Maybe he made
allowances, after all a man in love is supposed to be pretty irrational.
You just come here and Ill show you how irrational I can be,
Jane. He threatened.
Laughing, I run to the front door of the house, where he catches
up with me.
Is that a promise, Giles? I asked, looking up at him
mischievously.
Inside, woman! he commanded, landing a gently tap on my
backside as I comply with his instructions.
We spend the evening curled up on the sofa in the lounge,
munching pizza and watching The Lord of the Rings trilogy on DVD
Ive not seen the film and its my favourite book.
As I sit in bed, watching Giles get ready to join me, it strikes me
how happy I am.
Its been a lovely day, Giles.
It has, hasnt it? he replied, turning off the main bedroom light
and coming over to the bed. The nearest weve come to normality so
far, I think happy?
Very. You?
Equally so.
I snuggle up to him, and he reaches over to turn off the bedside
lamp.
Goodnight, Mr Brewster.
Just what makes you think you are going to sleep now, Miss
Mortimer?

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29.

QUIET SUNDAY

Fortunately, I hung some of my clothes up yesterday morning so

have something to wear for church which doesnt have to be ironed.
However, we have to quickly iron a shirt for Giles correction, I
quickly iron a shirt for Giles while he shaves. I dont like to admit
even to myself just how much of a kick it gives me performing this
simple office and I am certainly not going to tell him.
We arrive in good time for the service. It looks as though
yesterday was a one-off as far as the weather goes; todays drizzly and
grey again. I hope Lizzies cold is better it wouldnt be good for
her being out in this if shes poorly.
Morning Giles, Jane. Nice to see you. The vicar said, as he
pauses at our pew on his way down the aisle before the service. How
are things?
Very well, thank you, Peter. Giles replied We need to make
an appointment to see you about this wedding I know its a busy
time for you, but is Monday or Tuesday evening this week possible?
The vicar looks through the diary he is carrying clearly he uses
this time before the service to grab people for meetings and the like.
I can do Tuesday evening at eight. He said, pen ready to write
us in Is that any good?
Giles glances at me; I nod, Yes, Peter, thatll be fine. Thanks.
Ill look forward to seeing you at the vicarage on Tuesday. Oh,
good morning, Lizzie. He said, as Tina pushes the wheelchair up the
aisle towards us.
Lizzie is beaming.
Good morning, Peter is Jane any better?
Much, thanks its a particularly foul cold, isnt it? he smiles
and moves on.
Giles! Jane! Lovely to see you how did everything go?
Lizzie asked as Tina settles her in the pew and takes the wheelchair
away to park it.
Fine. Hows your cold?
She explains that shes feeling a lot better now and puts it down
to having had Giles to stay on Tuesday.

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We had a lovely evening, Jane, you must lend me your fianc

more often. She said patting his hand.
Giles, thats Sally in the music group! I said suddenly
realising I recognise her. She was at the dinner dance on Friday,
Lizzie, shes Garys lady . Gary who was Annas boss. I
explained rather badly.
Over coffee at the end of the service, Sally introduces us to her
brood, as she calls them. Katie is a pretty girl who looks older than
her sixteen years, Abi is going to be a stunner intelligent and
attractive and Bens a charmer; shes got her hands full with that
lot! When Abi hears that Giles is a lawyer like Gary, she immediately
starts asking questions.
Abi wants to go into law, Jane. Gary is perpetually having to
field questions on the subject. Sally explained to me as Giles sets
about explaining the complexities of something to do with property
law which is apparently puzzling Abi.
How are you today, Jane?
Fine, we had a day out yesterday walking at Sand Bay, it was
lovely. How about you?
We spent the day Christmas shopping - Im knackered! Garys
gone over to see his sister. Shes gone down with the nasty cold
which is going the rounds and sounded a little down, so hes bringing
her back to us for lunch. She lives in Swindon. Which reminds me,
she said looking at her watch, Weve got to be making tracks if Im
going to get dinner on the table. Nice seeing you, Jane Ill give you
a ring during the week and well arrange for you to come over for that
coffee.
Ill look forward to it, Sally.
Gathering her young people, she herds them out of the building.
I turn to see Giles looking after them with a thoughtful expression on
his face.
Abi is one intelligent young woman, Jane. She was saying that
shes got to get a placement for work experience if Gary cant help
her, Ill be happy to offer her one. Mention that to Sally will you? It
might be better if she goes to a firm where she doesnt know anyone.
Over lunch, I tell Lizzie about the lovely send off I had from the
firm in Taunton.

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Ill bring the decanter and glasses over during the week well
be using them here. I said enthusiastically. Ill use the voucher
towards something for our rooms.
Oh Jane, its lovely hearing you say that. I have missed you
this week. Lizzie said, sounding more frail than I have ever heard
her. How did the dinner dance go?
Jane looked absolutely beautiful, Lizzie. Giles interjected, As
I anticipated the press were out in force they took several pictures
of us on the dance floor Ill get some copies for you on Monday
when it comes out.
How do I get this nail varnish off, Lizzie? I asked plaintively,
showing her my still pristine fingernails. It is beautiful but I dont
think it will go with everything I want to wear.
Lizzie laughs and says shell show me what I need to do.
Plainly, Giles wants to avoid telling Lizzie about the Diana episode,
so I turn the conversation to what we have discussed about the
wedding a subject Lizzie can discuss happily until the cows come
home.
What are you doing this week, Jane? Lizzie asked eventually
when we had finally exhausted that subject.
I thought Id come over tomorrow Giles is going to try
getting the train to work so I can have the car I desperately need to
sort out what clothes I have where, and work out some sort of idea of
what I want to do with the rooms. At the moment, Im having trouble
keeping up with myself. I think were planning to stay here through
to Friday when well go home to Ivy Lodge ... I said looking to
Giles for confirmation.
Yes, thats about right. Weve an appointment to see Peter
Hammond on Tuesday night, Lizzie. Apart from that, does that
scenario fit with your arrangements? I think thats what well be
doing most weeks, if its is okay with you.
We dont need to ask if she is happy with that, Lizzies face is a
picture of delight.
Ive got to see Bernie sometime this week as well and then
theres Christmas shopping. I said, wondering if Im going to find
time for everything.

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Giles reaches across the table and touches my hand

comfortingly.
Stop fretting, Jane. Itll be fine. Maybe you could come up to
Bristol one day and look round the shops there the German market
in the centre is worth seeing and then theres St Nicholas Market as
well.
Youre just hoping Im going to drive the car up and that you
wont have to walk from the station! You lazy creature!
Would I? he retorts trying to look innocent, and failing.
Lizzie is laughing now. I catch Giles eye and we smile at each
other.
Have you tried driving Giles car yet, Jane? Lizzie asked
Oh yes, we went over to Sand Bay yesterday and the monster
made me drive, Lizzie. He just threw the keys at me !
I dont know how you put up with her, Giles. Lizzie said
dryly.
Ah, shes very like her mother, Lizzie. He replied instantly.
That reminds me, Matt said to give you his best and to tell you that
your daughter takes after you in more than looks.
You are a cheeky monkey, Giles! Oh, did he? What did he
mean by that?
Shit! I look across at Giles why did he have to say that?
Lizzie looks from him to me and back again.
And what exactly happened at this event that youre not telling
me about?
There was a little unpleasantness with one of the solicitors who
works with Giles, Lizzie. I started to explain.
That would be Diana whatever her name is, I take it. Lizzie
said earning herself a startled look from her godson, Your father said
there might be trouble from that quarter. Fancied herself as wife to
the managing partner, did she?
Giles face is a picture.
Yes thats the one, I met her in the pub the other week and
she was, shall we say, not overcome with delight at my appearance. I
said jumping into the breach. Pam, Giles secretary, warned me to
watch my back, so I was not entirely unprepared when she came over
on Friday night and draped herself all over Giles.

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She did not drape herself all over me,

You werent standing where I was, Giles. Anyway, she was
going on about how Giles always dances with her at this function and
I told her that I thought it an excellent idea for him to give her a
dance.
No, no, Jane, get it right, first of all you greeted her as though
she was a valued friend, then you commiserated with her on the fact
that she didnt have a man with her and suggested it would be kind of
me to give her a dance, and then you suggested that we should find
her a suitable man saying that you know several nice musicians
Giles said with glee.
Jane! You didnt! Lizzie said appreciatively. I shouldnt
think she liked that much.
No, she didnt. I replied thinking of the scene in the ladies
toilet which ensued.
Was that the end of the matter? Lizzie asked looking at us
both again, Somehow I dont think it was.
No, after the meal, Sally and I went to the ladies and Diana
was in there going on about me being a jumped up secretary and
holding forth generally about poor Giles to a group of women. I
rather let her have it Im afraid. I was mad by then; I told her coldly
that Im a very highly qualified secretary and that regardless of my
antecedents, had been taught manners which she obviously had not,
and although I would like to tell her what I thought of her, I wasnt
going to lower myself to her level. I then swept past her to the loo.
Diana came out of there like a bat out of hell, Lizzie. Giles
added appreciatively, And I assume she went home we didnt see
her again. Of course, it went round the room like wildfire as the
women told the tale and by the time we took to the dance floor
everyone knew. That waltz was about as exposed as one can get
no, Jane, I made damn sure you werent aware of that! he said noting
my startled look. We were sufficiently newsworthy anyway because
of our engagement let alone the rumpus with Diana. As it was, you
carried it off perfectly I was very proud of you.
What will you do about her? Lizzie asked.
Giles shakes his head, repeating what wed discussed yesterday.

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Silly woman, to risk her career over such a matter. You might
be better off without her, Giles. Lizzie commented when hed
finished.
Yes, but Id be in trouble if I sacked her she would doubtless
sue for wrongful dismissal. But well see what happens tomorrow.
Anyway, weve got to get moving. Jane what do you need from here
to take back to Ivy Lodge? I need some more shirt s ironed for the
week.
Ill go and check. I said, rising and kissing Lizzie on the cheek
just because I feel like it, and running up to my room.
I grab some underwear from the drawer and another jumper.
That will do for tomorrow Ill sort through everything at Ivy Lodge
tomorrow morning before I come over here.
Giles and Lizzie are laughing about something when I get back
to them, which is a relief; Lizzie is very up and down today. I hope
its only the after effects of the cold.
I should be here late morning, Lizzie. I want to sort everything
out and am not very sure of the route from Ivy Lodge to here I
might get lost. Ill ring you if theres a serious problem.
Thats fine, Jane. Ill see you tomorrow.
Shes not herself, Giles. I hope its just the cold shes had. I
said as he drives out of the gates into the roadway.
I dont know, Jane. Maybe you could have a quiet chat with
Tina tomorrow and find out if theres something more.
Where are you planning on catching the train tomorrow,
Giles? I asked as he parked outside Ivy Lodge.
Keynsham. He replied, lifting my bag out of the back seat.
Ill need you to run me there in the car, if you dont mind.
Of course not, I can play at being the big executives wife.
Nothing like practising he said with a wry grin I looked
up times of trains the other day - theres one at 7.30 and another about
twenty minutes later if I aim for the earlier one and we see how it
goes?
Fine. Oh Giles, this is so
So what? he enquired looking at me
Solid settled comfortable married wonderful
take your pick.

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You really are a very daft woman sometimes, Jane. Its

probably why I love you so much.
What, two like-minded souls, you mean? I replied cheekily
and he grins at me.
Something like that.

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30.

DAISY, CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AND PLANS

Six a.m. on a Monday morning is an unholy time for the alarm

clock to go off but go off it does and we leap into action
assuming a value for leap in the region of moving very slowly and
grumpily that is.
I leave the bathroom to Giles and, throwing on my jeans and a
jumper, go down to organise breakfast. Ill grab a shower when I get
back from running him to the station I giggle to myself as I let that
statement wash over me. Jane, you are going to have to get your head
round the concept that you are shortly to become the wife of a
professional man who works in the city okay, so not London, but
he could if he wanted to its going to take time I can see it.
The coffee pot is on the table and Im just putting the cereal
packet out when Giles rushes into the room, maybe its because I am
in full domestic mode but the mere sight of him makes my stomach
flip over. Laughing at myself, I give him a bowl for his cereal.
And what are you grinning about, my lady? he asked, pouring
himself some coffee.
Oh, just laughing at myself. Do you want toast as well as
cereal?
No, this will be enough, thanks. He replied, reaching for the
milk. Before I forget, Daisy will be round today you may well see
her. Itll probably be a good idea if you do we may need to assess
her days and what she does.
Daisy? I asked, sitting down at the table and pouring myself
coffee as I wait for the toast to pop up.
My lady who does. He replied with a glance at the clock Im
making good time I might just re-think that toast order he said
as my toast pops up.
I give him the toasted slice and cut myself another one Men!
What does she do usually? I asked, sitting down again.
She comes in twice a week Monday and Friday though you
may want to change that. She cleans through, changes the bedding
every week, loads the washing machine with all the non-clothing
items like towels and such and hangs them to dry in the laundry roo m.
I think thats all.
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Ill have a chat with her, Giles.

I visualise her as an older woman of the Mrs Mopp variety,
probably got a retired husband and working for a bit of extra pin
money Ive never had staff I hope she wont take a dislike to me.
We need to get moving, Jane. Ill be ready to go in about five
minutes. Giles said, dropping a quick kiss on the top of my head as
he rushes past me.
Im waiting for him at the door and give him a mock salute
chauffeur-style.
The route to the station is a little tricky, I do hope I can find my
way back
Theres an A-Z of Bath in the pocket on the door if you need it,
Jane. It covers this area as well. Ill get the train back to Bath Spa
tonight and Ill ring to let you know what time Ill be there. He said
as he gets out of the car.
He pauses with his hand on the door.
Have a good day and give Lizzie my love.
You have a good day, Giles hope it goes smoothly with
Diana. Ill be thinking of you.
I watch him walk away, feeling sentimental and slushy oh
this is absurd! I turn the car and make my way back to Ivy Lodge
absurdly pleased that I manage the journey without getting lost so
far so good.
Right now what?
It is just gone seven thirty - shower first, I think. I wonder if
Giles has a radio I can listen to, Ill have to ask him Ive not seen
one around anywhere. The water is lovely and hot and comes out in
a really invigorating stream heavenly ... I stand under it for far too
long just enjoying the feel of the water pounding on my shoulders.
Back in the bedroom, my hairdryer overheats and cuts out as I
am halfway through drying my hair damn! I really must get a new
one, this one has had it. As I wait for it to re-set itself, I hear the
front door open oh, that must be Daisy.
I rush downstairs and stop short, the lady standing in the
hallway is at most thirty, dressed in jeans, with her long brown hair
tied back in a business-like ponytail shes the sort of person I
would expect to be riding a horse down a country lane with a

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Labrador in attendance not the woman who does at all. She gives
me a beaming smile as she hangs up her sensible jacket.
Hello, you must be Jane. Im Daisy. She said, holding out her
hand in a very friendly fashion. I hope Im not too early. She
added, taking in my half dried hair.
No, not at all, my hairdryer has died on me hence this! I
said pointing to my damp locks. Giles said youd be round today. He
suggested that we talk about the organisation of the work now that
things are changing.
Good idea. Congratulations on your engagement, by the way.
Its quite the talk of the village, you know. She said, following me
into the kitchen.
Good God! Is it?
That really had not occurred to me I wonder how involved in
village life Giles is.
Oh yes, Giless been the local eligible bachelor for some years
and most of the unattached ladies in the area have had a bash at trying
to change that at some time or other. Dont look so worried, Jane. I
doubt very much if hes noticed. Youll doubtless get lots of
invitations once people realise that youre living here now.
Shall we have some coffee, Daisy? I think I need to get my
head round this.
She busies herself washing up the breakfast things and putting
them away while I make coffee. I come to the conclusion that my
best tactic is to come clean and hope that Daisy takes pity on me.
Are you a local girl, Daisy? I asked as we sit down at the
table. I know nothing about village life and dont want to put my
foot in it.
Yes, I was born here. My parents own Bridge Farm thats the
one you pass as you go towards the A37 from here? I married into
the other big farming family round here; Mike and I farm his parents
place on the other side of the village Orchard Farm. If you ran Giles
to the station at Keynsham this morning youd have passed our farm.
But dont worry about the village just be yourself.
Sounds lovely have you any children? I asked trying to
imagine what it must be like to have lived somewhere like this all my

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life to know a place intimately and to be known by the residents

belonging.
Yes, weve got three little devils. Alexanders going on eight,
Gavins seven and Nicholas will be five in a couple of weeks time.
It makes running the business hard work, but it pays.
The farm, you mean?
No, my cleaning business. She replied with a smile, Ive got
a degree in business management and after Alexander arrived I was
bored just being a housewife so, realising that there are a lot of
professional people in this area who dont have time to do housework,
I started a little business catering to the gap in the market. It helps us
make ends meet farmings not a profit industry and also gives me
something to do. I enjoy cleaning other peoples cleaning is so
much more enjoyable than your own.
Do you do it all yourself? I asked, nursing my mug.
No, I have a couple of the local mums who work with me. If
theres a problem with child minding or something we can cover for
each other. It works very well and fits round school hours.
Im impressed, Daisy. When Giles said that he had a woman
who does I imagined a little old lady augmenting her pension.
Oh, it keeps me out of trouble, as Mike puts it. Now, Jane,
naturally Giles hasnt given me any details, but I gather that youre
going to be splitting your time between here and your mothers place
in Bath. What, if anything, do you want me to do here?
What were intending is that well be here from Friday night
through to Monday morning then over in Bath from Monday night
through to Thursday night. Ill be working in Bath and I have to say
that the thought of having to come back here and start on the
housework is not that attractive so we definitely want you to carry on
here. Im trying to work out what the best days would be. You
currently do Monday and Friday, dont you?
Yes, thats right. It might be sensible to keep the days as they
are I could use Monday to change linen and get it in the wash it
would then be dry and ready to put away on Friday. I could split the
cleaning accordingly. Then the place would be ready for you when
you get back on a Friday. Would that work for you?
Sounds like heaven, Daisy.

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Well, Id better be getting on then can I get into the bedroom

or are you still busy in there?
Oh dont mind me Ive got to organise stuff to take over to
Bath this morning but apart from that, Id enjoy the company. You
just carry on as usual.
By mid morning, I have nearly sorted out in my head what we
are going to do clothes-wise. Giles is going to need the majority of
his working clothes over at Lizzie House hes put out another suit
for me to take and a load of shirts and underwear apart from that
hell need something to relax in I need to talk to him about that,
find out what hed prefer. As for me, the same will apply. I will
designate work clothes and ship those over to Bath along with a
couple of changes for relaxing in. If we are going out somewhere
special, Ill just have to think about it in advance and cater specially
for it.
Daisy, Ill be off shortly. I said when I run her to earth in the
lounge, dusting the bookshelves. Its been lovely meeting you. Ill
give you my telephone contact number shall I? Just in case theres a
problem.
We exchange contact numbers and she cheerfully waves me off
as I drive out of the gates I have the map and a route Daisy marked
for me as being the easiest way to get to Lizzies. The roads are not
particularly busy, but not knowing my way makes me nervous and
hesitating at one particular junction gets me honked at by the car
behind. Tough, mate! Im in front of you and youll have to put up
with it.
I arrive safely and very pleased with myself just after eleven
not bad going considering. Tina opens the door for me shes got
her coat on so it looks as though I have just got here in time.
We must get you a set of keys, Jane. She said helping me to
carry the bags up to my room. Im just going into town now; Ill get
some cut.
Hows Lizzie, Tina?
We thought she was rather low
yesterday.
Shes been like that for the last week mostly its the cold, I
think, but she was missing not having you and Giles here. That
makes a massive difference to her, Jane. Now that you are going to

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be here regularly, Im hoping shell pick up. You should have heard
her and Giles last Tuesday though, boy, should your ears have been
burning! When weve got a moment, Ill tell you all about it. Im
glad youre going to be here too. I need to talk to you about
practicalities though food and laundry. Maybe sometime this
afternoon?
That would be brilliant, Tina.
I carefully put our candle holder on the dressing table not ideal
but it will do for the moment must remind Giles about that
carrying case he suggested.
Giving the room a backward glance its nice to be back here I wander down to the Pink Room to find Lizzie.
Good morning, Lizzie. How are you today? Cold any better?
Yes, its a lot better, thank you Jane. Youre looking very
cheerful today. That man of yours looking after you properly I hope.
Well, improperly describes it better, but in essence the concept
is the same. I replied, drawing a wicked laugh from her as I intended
it occurred to me the other day that we have very unusual
mother/daughter conversations at times. I met his woman who
does today, Lizzie oh, I did feel a fool. I was expecting a little old
lady, and this attractive young woman turns up!
Daisy? Oh, shes lovely.
Yes, she is Im still uncertain about this staff business but I
expect Ill get the hang of it. Ive pretty well got my head round the
division of clothing between here and there now all I have to do is
get it properly organised.
Have you got enough storage space in your room, Jane? Im
sure we can find another wardrobe and some drawers if you want
them this place has all sorts of furniture stowed away.
That might be a help the rooms certainly large enough to
take some more furniture.
Is there anything particular you want to do today, Jane?
Yes, I want to go up and have a good look at the other rooms
up there and sort out what Im going to do with them. Id appreciate
your help, if you dont mind. Ive never had to design a room before.
Did Giles tell you about the kitchen idea we discussed last
week? Maybe we could go up there after lunch with some paper and

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a tape measure and draw up some plans. Oh Bernie rang earlier she
suggests you go over tomorrow afternoon I said youd ring her
back.
That will be perfect. Ill call her later. Has Giles rung yet?
Hes going to let me know what time hell be getting to the station
tonight.
No, hes not called.
Im bothered about what Diana might do.
Mmmm, Ive been wondering about that, too. But Giles is a
business man, Jane, and although you may need to pick up the
emotional pieces afterwards, hell deal with the situation. Its an art
sometimes, giving a man what he knows he needs but would die
before he admits it, and all without him being aware that youre doing
it.
I try, Lizzie, I try. Giles is a very private person, I get the
feeling that the intensity of this whole thing with me has shaken him
pretty badly. Oh, Lizzie, I almost feel as though Im playing a game
at the moment seeing him off at the station made me go all
sentimental. Its so ridiculous!
Being happy can do that just go with it, Jane. Is that the
phone?
I rush out into the hall and pick it up,
Hello? oh hello, Giles yes Daisy was fine weve sorted
all that out how are things in the office? .. oh the 5.40
from Temple Meads Ill meet you at the station oh yes,
youre probably right. Ill look it up on the map and work it out. Ill
be on the platform. Hope this afternoon goes well. By the way,
Lizzies much brighter today. okay, Ill see you later. Bye.
Thoughtfully, I go back into the Pink Room. Lizzie looks up
anxiously,
What did he say, Jane?
Diana has requested a meeting this afternoon. He sounds okay
but then he would.
We exchange a concerned look we both know Giles.
Well, at least shes not just ignoring the fact they need to talk,
Jane.

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I suppose thats something. I sighed. Lizzie, hes going to

get the train to Oldfield Park he reckons it will be easier for me to
park there Ive no idea where that is but Ive got an A-Z in the car.
Hell be in at about six I think.
If you get the map after lunch, Ill show you where to go hes
probably right. Its easier than going into town and would mean you
didnt have to fight your way around the one-way system. Now, what
do you want to do now?
Ive got to unpack, but I want to talk to you as well. If I were
to help, do you think you could make it up the stairs? Then I can
unpack and talk to you at the same time.
The answering twinkle tells me that Tina has probably
suggested that Lizzie rest this morning, but what the heck.
Seated on a chair in the window of my bedroom, Lizzie chats to
me as I unpack the clothes.
This room could do with a lick of paint, Jane. She said
looking round the walls. Maybe we could give it a going over when
we do the rest of the apartment. Youll definitely need more drawer
space though. I think theres another set of drawers identical to that
one somewhere. Ill get Tina to hunt it out.
Thanks, Lizzie, that would be very helpful.
If you put the bed over on this wall, and move the wardrobe
and drawers over to that wall, you could get another set of drawers in
and still have room for your dressing table on the side wall. What do
you think?
I stand back and try to visualise what she means
Yes, I think youre right. Id like to get some plants to put in
here, if you dont mind, Lizzie. I love plants I used to have a several
when I lived at home but modern flats dont lend themselves to the
space.
Of course whatever you like, Jane. This is your space.
Lizzie, I said, pausing in my unpacking for a moment as I
remember something I was going to ask her, When I was talking to
Giles recently, we got talking about names. My middle name is
Elizabeth which I assume is after you did you name me?
Oh yes. I had you registered before I handed you over to my
brother. He wasnt happy about it, but it was the only mark of

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motherhood I could get away with. You were a dear little baby, Jane.
I nursed you for three weeks. I used to sing to you but you wouldnt
remember that. You rarely cried, I remember, just lay there looking at
me with those enormous brown eyes of yours.
Thats what she said in that letter she wrote to me
It must have been hard giving me away like that.
As a dancer you learn that pain is part of the process, Jane, your
feet may be bleeding but you smile. It was all a very long time ago
dont go agonising about it now. Lizzie said firmly.
Digesting this statement, I fill a drawer with jumpers.
Why did you call me Jane?
I was romantic and sentimental but with a very practical streak,
Jane. One of my favourite books has always been Jane Eyre do you
know it? The heroine overcomes all sorts of adversity. Ive always
felt that names define a person and see Jane as a practical person,
capable and sensible but with the capacity for loving very deeply. By
calling you Jane I felt I was endowing you with these attributes I
dont think I was far wrong either. Jane could become whoever she
wanted to be. I told my brother that I had a Queen fixation Lady
Jane Grey was queen for nine days and Jane Seymour was one of
Henry VIIIs wives. The Elizabeth was also so that part of me would
be tied up in you, come what may.
I looked Jane up in a book once, Lizzie, it means grace of
God I could never work out what that actually meant.
Grace? Its something you receive through no effort of your
own a free gift you cannot earn it. In a way, your name is very
apt, Jane. You have come into my life as a gift from God and I am
very aware of that. But now Im getting sentimental and that wont
do. She said as I look round for a tissue to hand her.
Fortunately, there is a heap of them on the dressing table left
over from my recent illness.
The door opens and Tina appears .
I thought I told you to rest this morning, Lizzie. She said in
her best nanny voice
I am resting, Tina. Im chatting to Jane and its doing me lots
of good. Did you get everything we needed in town?

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Yes, I did Lizzie, though I had a spot of bother getting the

colour you wanted. The tree will be delivered on Wednesday
afternoon, so well have to give the Pink Room its annual clear out.
Heres your set of keys, Jane.
Thanks, Tina. I replied putting them carefully in my bag so I
dont lose them. Tina, would it be a nuisance if we had lunch up
here, only were planning on doing some scheming in the rooms up
here later and it would save Lizzie having to climb the stairs again. I
could help carry it up.
Youre as bad as your mother, Jane! Tina said, but I can see
that shes as pleased as I am that Lizzie is back to normal again. If
you come down in about half an hour, it should be ready.
What happens here at Christmas, Lizzie? I asked as Tina tutts
her way to the door
Well, it all starts when the tree is put up, Jane. We put it up in
the Pink Room and have a bit of a party dressing it. It means that I
have to clear away all the clutter then in the New Year, I re-arrange
it all again. Joseph and Joan and any of the younger people who are
around come over and this year Ive invited Jo and Alastair with Jake
and his girlfriend. All very silly but a good start to the season.
Thatll be on Saturday night. It wont be late so youd be able to go
back to Ivy Lodge afterwards.
Lizzie, wed love to come you dont think Id be able to keep
Giles away, do you? I said and she relaxes. Lets get this straight,
Lizzie, we want to spend time with you. If Giles hadnt suggested it
himself, I would have had to make it a condition of our relationship.
Oh dont be so silly here, have another tissue. Now what else goes
on?
I like to go to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, Jane, Lizzie
answered, when shes wiped her eyes.
I must mention this to Giles Im sure hell want to go too. Ive
never been myself though not being confirmed, I wouldnt have. I
must talk to Giles about how I go about getting confirmed. I want to
belong properly must ask Lizzie if I was christened but shes
going on.

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Then on Christmas Day were all going over to Josephs house

and on Boxing Day everyone comes here. And, of course, theres my
party on the Saturday after.
I must do some serious Christmas shopping, Lizzie. I hope you
can give me some ideas of what to get for people.
Over lunch, I draw up a list of people I feel I ought to get a
present of some sort for it is a long one for me . but Lizzie is
very helpful, giving me ideas for people like the twins who I dont
know well enough to be able to deal with on my own.
Maybe I
could get into town tomorrow morning and deal with some of this.
Lizzie
Tina
Giles
Joseph

Sarah
Colin & family
Richard & Cathy
Aunt Joan

Jo & Alastair
Sally & Gary

Gerald?
Pam?
Daisy?
Bernie?

Tina obligingly comes and helps us with a tape measure after

lunch. She maintains its so that she can make sure Lizzie stays
sitting down, but I reckon it is so that she can come and join in the
fun.
Shes also brought a few sheets of paper I can draw up a plan
for the apartment, as we are now calling it. I sketch in the bed and
wardrobes where Lizzie suggested them so I can show Giles.
Just as well Giles isnt short of a penny, this lots going to cost a
bit.
And I must talk to him about paying Lizzie some sort of
housekeeping money. I gather he had a bit of a discussion with her
last Tuesday about the debt he has paid for me. She won that round,
pulling rank on the basis that he was not my husband yet and
therefore had no right to pay my debts. I think he will be up for a
second round and wouldnt put my money on her winning that
I look round the room. The windows are quite long and there
are some faded curtains currently hanging. Theyre a lovely pale
mossy green velvet and although they are faded from whatever colour
they were originally, I really like them. Green is a very soothing
colour and if we had creamy walls

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Second floor: suggested layout

Bathroom

Lounge diner

Bedroom
Kitchen
hall
stairwell

Office

spare room

What sort of state are the floorboards in do you think, Lizzie?

I asked, trying to lift one corner of the carpet.
Why? Do you fancy a plain wooden floor with rugs?
Mmmm, I think it could be nice a light oak with cream or
even an oatmeal colour on the walls and these lovely green curtains
sort of natural colours. Some dark green rugs and a few large plants
would set it off.
I look round the room again,
Yes, I think light oak furniture would work too. Nothing
chunky, maybe a cottage suite echoing the green. But wed need a
contrast somewhere, something to set it all off. Ill have to think
about that. Maybe a picture I mused out loud. and our
candle holder will look just right there on the mantelpiece.
Candle holder, Jane? Lizzie asked and I find I am blushing.
Do tell.
Its silly and sentimental, Lizzie. I said deprecatingly, Its
just something Giles bought for me on the way back to Taunton the
first time he ran me home. Its polished wood a hand holding a tea
light type of candle he said I should light it every day to remind me

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of my new life. Weve decided that wherever we call home, it will be

there. Giles has suggested that we get a carrying case made for it.
Where is it, Jane? Id love to see it.
In the bedroom, hang on here, Ill go and get it. I run into the
bedroom and carefully carry it back into the room and hand it to her.
Thats lovely, Jane. She strokes the wood as I do, It feels
gorgeous, Jane it reminds me of the carved praying hands you
sometimes see theres almost a spiritual aspect to it.
Tina comes bustling up to find us just after four thirty Ive
put tea and cake down in the Pink Room for you. Im assuming
youll all eat together when Giles gets home from work I thought if
I aimed at seven it would give him time to unwind.
I wonder how hes getting on with Diana
Thanks, Tina, that is just right.
Lizzie said with a
disconcerting look in my direction which gets me worrying that my
thoughts might be written all over my face
Ill go and get the map from the car, Lizzie, then you can show
me where Ive got to go tonight.
Its freezing outside, though it may just be the contrast with the
temperature in the house. Lizzie told me once that Maurice had gone
through and installed the latest in energy efficiency when they bought
the house but its been so well done you dont realise it.
Standing at the window in the Pink Room, I stare out at the now
dark landscape. Lights are twinkling in the windows of houses and
street lamps are glowing. It is very pretty but my thoughts are far
away I cant imagine what Diana might say I just hate the
thought that he might be hurt.
Draw the curtains, Jane, and sit down. Worrying about him
wont help, you know. Lizzie said sensibly.
I sigh.
You know, its bad enough having to worry about oneself,
Lizzie, but having to worry about someone else as well is
Hell. She offered and I nod. That is what relationships are all
about, my girl.
Lizzie, what is my father like? I asked, reflecting that we
seem to be doing a lot of intimate talking this afternoon I watch as
she thinks about my question.

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Hes dead now, Jane. He died five years ago.

She looks over at me.
I wasnt thinking of contacting him, Lizzie. I pointed out and
she looks relieved.
He was a very good dancer, that was the first thing I noticed
about him that and his eyes. Oh, he was a charmer but not a
womaniser, Jane, he wasnt the sort of man to just get a girl pregnant
without a thought for anything; he was happily married. We were
touring together and I partnered him a lot. With hindsight, I can see
that he was missing his family he had a little son of about four. You
have a half-brother somewhere, Jane, I never thought of that before.
He was tall, slim and dark you have his eyes, Jane. He had a lovely
tenor voice too.
What happened to him? Do you know?
Oh yes, I followed his career with interest he was a very
talented actor and made quite a name for himself. Ironically, his wife
left him for another man about three years after you were born, but I
didnt make any attempt to contact him. Id moved on by then and
recognised our fling for what it was. He had a string of live-in lovers
but never married again. As I said, he died five years ago. Isnt it
time you went to light your candle, Jane?
She obviously wants to be alone.
I go to my room and retrieve the candle holder from where we
left it Standing it on top of the tallboy, I hold the match to the
wick until it catches. The flickering flame sheds a gentle glow over
the polished wood. I sit by the window, reading by the light of the
lamp on the table there until its time to go to meet Giles.
Its dark down at Oldfield Park, there are lamps on the platform
but no-one else is around. I sit on the bench and wait for his train to
arrive. I expect therell be lots of people getting off here it must be
one of the rush hour trains. On the opposite side of the track the
backs of the houses are mostly dark, a light shining out of the odd
window showing that someones inside. The chimneys rise black
against the dark sky.
I cant begin to imagine what it must have been like for Lizzie
she was how old when I was born? I work it out, early thirties.

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Alone in the world to a large extent and working in a profession

which doesnt allow for motherhood.
It must have been hell.
Id find it hard enough now and things were different then.
A half-brother now thats a thought. Someone that actually shares
my bloodline how primitive can you get? That it should actually
matter to me
In the distance, I see lights coming down the track the train.
A few minutes later, it has stopped and the doors open. Scanning the
crowd of disembarking travellers, I spot a familiar outline walking
towards me. As he draws level, he stops and, without a word, takes
me very firmly in his arms. I hold him as people hurry past us and the
train draws out of the station with a great noise. With a deep sigh, as
though laying down the burden of the day, he lets me go.
Good evening, my lady. He said, his tone completely in
opposition to the desperation with which he had held on to me
seconds earlier. Have you had a good day?
Putting my arm through his, we stroll up the ramp to the road.
Yes, Ive had a lovely day. The cars down here. I replied
recognising his need to unwind, Lizzie and I went up to our
apartment and planned colour schemes this afternoon. Ive decided
that natural greens and browns would look best.
I prattle on about nothing in particular until we get home.
Ive got keys, now! I said proudly, as I demonstrate their use.
We go up to the bedroom where the candle is burning brightly.
As he sees it, he relaxes completely.
Oh Jane, this is good. He said sitting down on the bed and
taking off his shoes. Its been one hell of a day.
I glance at the clock - a quarter past six. Weve got three
quarters of an hour hes flopped back onto the bed and is rubbing
his eyes.
I gently lie beside him and kiss him. It takes me a good five
minutes to get through to him, which merely underlines the foulness
of his day, but eventually he wakes up to the idea and we make love.
What times dinner, Jane. He said, lying in bed with his eyes
closed.
I lean up on one elbow and kiss him.

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Seven oclock, Giles. Youve got ten minutes to throw some

clothes on.
With a groan, he heaves himself off the bed and dashes across to
the bathroom. We make it to the dining room on time but only
just.
Lizzies sitting by the fireplace.
Help yourself to sherry, if you want one, Giles. She said with
a welcoming smile. Theres some wine there too, Jane.
She knows Im not keen on sherry.
How was work, Giles? Lizzie asked as we sit down to eat.
Extreme. Oh, Jane, the train worked well I got to work in
plenty of time. In fact I think we can go for the later one though Ill
have to get it from Oldfield Park so it will be the same time oh,
thats too complicated!
He applies himself to his plate for a moment before resuming.
Lots of positive feedback about the dinner dance oh, I have
copies of the paper as well Lizzie youll love the pictures. Theyve
put in two of us, Jane, though the comment might make you cringe.
Ill show you later.
So what did Diana have to say for herself? Lizzie asked,
taking the bull by the horns in a way I didnt dare.
First thing this morning, she sent me an e-mail asking if she
could have a discussion with me at three this afternoon. That saved
me having to bring it up, though I have to say that it coloured the rest
of the day. Not surprisingly, the whole episode had gone round the
office it was unnerving, to say the least, walking into a room to
find the occupants looking round guiltily and stopping mid-sentence
It didnt help that I wasnt sure what I was going to do about it
either on the one hand I wanted to take her apart and on the other I
wanted to be reasonable. No-one, except Pam, actually said anything
though. She was spitting nails, Jane. Shed like to put you up for a
medal of some sort, I think. Lets just say that the story hasnt
lessened in the telling.
He grinned wryly and put another forkful of food into his
mouth. Lizzie and I look at each other while he chews.
By three oclock I was past caring what happened to be honest,
I just wanted to get it over with. Diana turned up at my office how

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she got through the barrage of filthy looks Pam was giving her, I
dont know, but she came in and sat down. She looked grim, Jane.
So she should. Lizzie muttered.
Giles eyes flick across to her.
She started by apologising I didnt help her at all, just sat
there. She said she realised that I would be perfectly justified in
sacking her and that she would deserve it if I did, finishing by saying
that if it were at all possible, she would like to stay, that there would
never be a repeat of her behaviour. Then she just sat there waiting
for me to decide her fate. Oh, that sounds dramatic, but it was much
the way it was. She clearly thought I would throw her out.
People always expect you to behave the way they would,
Giles. Lizzie pointed out In your shoes, she wouldnt have been
generous, therefore she didnt expect you to be.
What did you say, Giles?
I accepted her apology on behalf of myself, but told her that I
could not accept it on your behalf. I said that her work record was
such that I was reluctant to sack her and suggested that a probationary
period of six months was an appropriate way forward it would give
her time to prove her intention. I felt it was reasonable I hope you
dont feel I have let you down, Jane.
Giles, of course not, oh you silly sod! I replied as his anxiety
turns to embarrassment. Thats a very reasonable and sensible way
round the problem, dont you think, Lizzie? I asked relieved that the
problem has been resolved.
Excellent just what Solomon would have done, I feel. Giles,
stop being so hard on yourself. Now go up and get those newspapers
I want to see the photos.
Putting down his knife and fork, he immediately goes off to get
them.
Do you think shell ask to see me, Lizzie? I asked as soon as
he was out of the room, The way he said it made it clear that she was
expected to apologise to me in person.
I doubt it, Jane. I expect shell write, if shes got any sense.
Hush, hes coming back.
There you are, ladies! he exclaimed producing the papers with
a flourish. Page nine

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I get there before Lizzie, to be faced with a couple of shots of

Giles and I one waltzing round the floor gazing into each others
eyes and the other standing talking to Matt, the President of the
association.
You were right, Giles, I dont go for the comment. I really
dont see myself as the romantic event of the year. Oh God, did we
really look like that
You do on a regular basis, Jane, get used to it. Lizzie said with
a grin, I think they are lovely pictures can we get copies from the
paper?
Yes, dont worry, Ive ordered half a dozen. Dad was on the
phone first thing about it. I think Aunt Joan wants to use it for all her
Christmas cards next year
You are joking, I hope. I said, looking again at the photo.
We spend a very relaxing evening talking to Lizzie in the Pink
Room. By the time we go to bed, Giles is looking far more like his
usual self.
Im glad todays over, he said, lying in bed waiting for me to
join him. Did you see Daisy this morning?
Yes, I did you wretched man! You knew I was expecting a
little old lady. I replied with vigour as he laughs, We got everything
sorted out. Oh Giles, its been a funny old day.
In what way?
I tell him about my conversation with Lizzie a half-brother?
he exclaimed, Good job youre marrying me one of the few men
you can guarantee youre not related to. he commented turning out
the light, Now that is something to celebrate, dont you think?

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31.

BERNIE & THE VICAR

What are you doing today, Jane? he asked me as I sit on the

end of the bed watching him get ready for work.
Im going over to Bernies this afternoon. That A-Z is getting a
lot of use, Giles, I dare not set foot outside the place without it. Then,
of course, were going to see the vicar tonight.
I catch his eye in the mirror and we exchange glances despite
the fact that we are to all intents and purposes living together, the
thought of our marriage gives us both a thrill.
I want to talk to him about confirmation as well, Giles.
Thats a good idea, Jane. Ive thought a lot about what you
wrote in your journal about where you felt you were going with that.
Youll have to check that you were christened it might be an idea to
ask Lizzie today just in case Peter asks tonight. Im not sure if you
have to be in order to get married in church.
Ill do that. Are you ready to go now?
I stand up and watch as he checks he has everything he needs. I
love these simple times we have together .
Yes, I think Ive got everything.
I make a big mistake after I have dropped Giles at Oldfield Park,
foolishly driving over the bridge and then finding I cant come back
again its a one-way street. Damn! Trusting my bump of direction,
I keep going and end up completely lost. Its a rabbit warren of
streets round here.
Giving up, I pull over and reach for the map book. Now where
am I? Oh yes, Im here How do I get back to Lizzie House?
committing the route to mind, I set off again, arriving back at the
house a good half hour later than I should have done.
Tina is in the hall when I go in and laughs when I tell her my
tale of woe.
Youll get used to it, Jane. I follow her into the kitchen and
gratefully accept the mug of coffee she pours for me, watching as she
prepares Lizzies breakfast tray. Giles get off all right?
Yes, this train lark is working quite well at the moment. Oh,
that reminds me, Tina, were going over to see the vicar tonight at
eight.
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Ill get dinner for six forty-five then that should give you time
to eat it it wont take you a minute to whip over to the vicarage,
Jane.
Thanks, I hope were not giving you lots more work, Tina. I
need to talk to you about washing.
You havent had a full guided tour of this house yet, have you,
Jane? I keep meaning to do it and then things crop up. Tina said
thoughtfully, When Ive got Lizzie sorted, Ill take you round.
Thanks, perhaps we can talk practicalities then. Now Im up
here, I need to get a routine of some sort organised living between
two homes is going to require a strict regime in some ways.
Lizzie is cheerful this morning; I sit and chat to her while she
eats her breakfast. Remembering Giles comment this morning, I ask
her about the christening issue and she confirms that I was done
properly. Well thats one hurdle at any rate. The phone rings and I
rush off to answer it.
Hello? Oh hello Sally. How are you? When do you
break up? I bet youre looking forward to it . Yes, Thursday
morning would be fine where do you live? Oh, Ill ask Lizzie for
directions its next door but one to Jo and Alastair Ill look
forward to it. Thanks for ringing, Sally. Bye.
That was Sally, she was ringing from work it sounded like
bedlam, Lizzie! She breaks up tomorrow and has asked me round for
coffee on Thursday morning. She says its next door but one to Jo
and Alastair. Can you show me where that is on the map?
Yes, its easy to find. Ive got to show you where Bernie lives
as well, havent I? Are you off Christmas shopping this morning?
Yes is there anything I can get for you while Im out?
You can get some bits for me, Jane, if you wouldnt mind.
Tina put in as she brushes Lizzies hair. Ill let you have a list. Its
not much.
Clutching Tinas list, I close the door behind me and get into the
car to drive into town, parking in the car park at the top of Queen
Square. Its not ideal but about as close as I can get to the shops at
this end of the town.
Theres a festive feel in the air as I walk across the Square
towards Milsom Street. One of the shops is playing Christmas carols

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.. it makes me feel quite festive and I find Im humming along. My

own shopping list is pretty empty at the moment just a list of names
with a couple of suggestions pencilled in against them. Lizzie is my
biggest problem. What do you get the woman who appears to have
everything but who is the mother you never knew you had. I asked
Giles for suggestions the other day but he was worse than useless.
Ill have a look round the Christmas market which Tina told me
about. I might get some ideas there.
Tinas easy Lizzie told me about a new recording of some
Jazz which she is desperate to get. It is on order at the music shop
outside the Podium and Ill collect that later in the week. Thats one
off the list.
Some stockings catch my eye all bright red and stuffed with
sweets. Now thats an idea how about if I concentrate on getting
several little things and wrap them individually, putting the whole lot
in a stocking? Lizzie might like that. Come to think of it, Giles might
as well. Little personal things which mean something As far as
everyone else is concerned, with the possible exception of Jos eph
and possibly Sarah oh and Jo, I shall be going for the traditional
toiletries/edibles, after all, I dont know these people very well.
Thorntons solves the question of Daisy and Pam; M&S reveals
some very nice speciality foodstuffs which knocks the twins and Aunt
Joan on the head fortunate that she mentioned how much she likes
their speciality biscuit selection the other day. A couple of sweetfilled stockings for the boys after all I havent actually met them
yet. No inspiration about Joseph yet Ill talk to Giles about him.
Lush provides toiletries for Sarah and some small bits for Lizzie and
Giles. So far so good.
As Im walking down the street past the Roman Baths, I hear a
voice behind me calling my name.
Jane! I thought it was you. Gary said, catching up with me
breathlessly. How are things? Got over the debauchery of last
Friday?
Yes, thanks. Im fine just trying to get my head round some
Christmas shopping. Its crept up on me.

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I know the feeling! Ive sneaked out of the office for an hour
or so in the hope that Ill be able to find something for Sally. I
havent a clue at the moment youre a woman, any ideas?
Crumbs! Ummm I suppose youve been down the
toiletries/lingerie line Books?
Music? What about some
jewellery? I suggested grasping at straws I hardly know the
woman!
Jewellery thats a thought.
I could get her some nice
earrings Thanks Jane, most helpful.
Return the favour, Gary any ideas what I can get a successful
commercial conveyancer?
There are some very clever mugs in one of the shops over by
Starbucks if you want something jokey, Jane. That sort of thing
always goes down well he can keep it in the office and think of
you every time he uses it.
Youve got one that Sally gave you, have you? I replied
cheekily and his grin grows,
I have actually. So I can speak from experience. How did
Giles get on with that woman?
Diana? She apologised unreservedly and begged to be allowed
to stay with the firm. Shes on six months probation. Giles found the
whole episode very difficult, Gary.
Im not surprised, its the downside of being in charge. Give
him my regards, will you, Jane. Perhaps we can get together for a
drink one evening.
Im seeing Sally tomorrow, shall I organise something with her
then?
Yes, that would be best shes the one with babysitting
problems, though to be fair, the kids are old enough to be left, she
runs a taxi service more often than not these days. I must dash, Jane
thanks for the help.
Deciding that its time for a coffee, I drop into Starbucks and
actually find a seat putting my bags down gratefully, I give thought
to my idea of Christmas stockings for Lizzie and Giles. Lizzie is easy
Ive got that lovely soap from Lush, some sweets perhaps Ill have
to go back to Thorntons for those Ill look out for a lightweight
shawl maybe silk or something, she likes something like that round

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her shoulders in the evenings well, thats a start now Giles

Ive got him some bath stuff that mug idea is sound, Ill go and
look for that when Ive finished my coffee some chocolates
cufflinks he wears them all the time I could get something
special something naughty perhaps maybe a pair of skimpy
knickers from that sexy underwear shop with a voucher promising a
private session with me that might be fun.
Well, thats a start thank goodness Ive got best part of a
week. I havent had so much Christmas shopping to do since I was a
kid Hey thats an idea I know what I could do for Lizzie
Ive got a load of photos of me as a kid somewhere Maybe I could
get copies done and make them into a small book. She might like
that.
By the time I get back to the house, I am shattered, though very
pleased with what I have managed to achieve. Setting my shopping
out on the bed, I look through it
Im pleased with those cufflinks gold with praying hands on
them I think Giles will like them and they sort of echo the motif of
our candle holder.
Garys suggestion of the mug gave me an amusing quarter of an
hour reading all the mugs I was torn between the solicitors one
and the fianc one; in the end I opted for the former on the basis that
the latter was a passing phase I hope he hasnt already got one
Picking up the small leather bound album I thank my
forethought at including my box of photos and stuff when I moved up
here Ill dig out the photos when I get a minute I saw a shop
which does copies when I was in town.
As is generally the case, my hard won shopping doesnt look as
much as I thought when I get it all up to my room . Ill augment it
tomorrow.
******
Bernies house is easy to find Lizzies directions are clear
and with the map to help me I manage to get there without any undue
excitement. Its a terraced house in a side street in Larkhall. From
the front it looks small but I soon realise that this is an illusion the
house goes back a long way.

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Bernie welcomes me in her usual forthright way, taking me

through to the workroom as she calls it. Theres a well appointed
desk with computer, transcribing machine and all the usual
paraphernalia of an office.
This is where it all happens, Jane. Of course, you can arrange it
as you wish, once youre here. The kitchens through here do feel
free to make yourself coffee as and when you like. I work through
here.
She leads me through to a well insulated conservatory at the
back of the house. It looks over the garden and has distant views of
the city. Like Lizzie House, this house is set on a hill one thing I
have learned about Bath is that there is very little level ground outside
the centre like Rome, it is surrounded by hills.
We sit over coffee in her lounge a pleasant room decorated
very plainly and as different from Lizzies Pink Room as it is
possible to be no clutter at all, no photos, very few objects. Too
impersonal for my taste, but Im learning that I have a sentimental
streak I never suspected before. She shows me what I shall be
expected to produce double spaced pages of type, and what the
printers send her, going on to explain how the filing system works.
When Im writing, Jane, I have to keep a card system of
characters and their peculiarities. Its no good me saying that they
have an aversion to shellfish and then merrily sending them out to a
fish restaurant. Ill need you to check on that sort of thing for me and
to keep the records up to date. If I say something about a character, it
will be for you to make sure a note is made on the card. Youll get
the hang of it, Im sure.
It all sounds within my capabilities, in fact, Im quite looking
forward to getting into it. We decide that Ill start on the 2 nd January.
Bernie, were planning on getting married on the 8 th February
so I shall be away after that. Not sure how long, Ill ask Giles.
She makes a note in her diary to this effect.
Im halfway through a book at the moment, Jane, so it will be a
little confusing for you I imagine. Ill get a copy of the story to date
for you to read so that you have some idea what it is about. Jodie
was hoping to be here this afternoon but has had a disaster with a

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water pipe bursting and is knee deep in plumbers at the moment, poor
woman!
Oh dear!
Yes, just what you need before Christmas!
I know shes
intending to leave you copious notes and her phone number so you
can ring her if you get a problem. Is there anything you want to know
that I havent covered?
No, I dont think so, Bernie. Though I imagine that I shall
think of something as soon as I drive off! Shall we be seeing you
over Christmas? Giles is having a New Years Eve party at Ivy
Lodge wed love to see you if you can make it.
Ill be over for Lizzies usual bash, Jane. Ill let you know
then, if I may. How are you settling in?
Very well, Lizzie and Tina are making it very easy for us,
though I still have to get my head round the problems of living in two
places at once. Were going to refurbish some rooms on the second
floor at Lizzie House to make a separate apartment which will be
quite exciting.
Lizzies been so much brighter since you came on the scene,
Jane. She tries to hide it, but she hasnt been too good since the
summer. Your arrival has given her a new lease of life.
Have you known her long, Bernie?
Lizzie and I go back some twenty years or so, Jane. I used to
tread the boards myself and was in a show with her. I was back row
of the chorus, mind you, and she was the star but it was a very
friendly show and somehow or other we became friends. I left the
stage not long after that to take up the writing my parents died and
left me this house and a small income which made it possible - but we
kept in touch and whenever she could she would come and stay
apart from Joseph, I was one of the few people she could do that
with.
Id wondered about what she did between jobs.
Shes led a pretty nomadic existence, Jane. Life wasnt always
easy and she had some nasty low times between jobs. I dont think
she ever got over losing you, but you know Lizzie, she doesnt give
much away. When she married Maurice I was very relieved because
he was devoted to her and she needed that. Baths been good for her.

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Bernie, I wonder if you could help me, Ive been trying to work
out what to get her for Christmas any suggestions?
Bernie stares into space thoughtfully for a moment.
There is something, Jane. When we first knew each other, we
were wandering around the shops looking at things in the window
as you do when you are tight for money she saw a small statue of
a mother holding a child. This was before I knew about your
existence and I remember being surprised that she was so very clearly
taken with it. We frequently saw similar statues over the years and I
several times suggested she bought one but she always said she
wasnt entitled to have one. Dont know if that is any help.
Bernie, that is absolutely perfect! Ill see what I can find.
Youre a good girl, Jane. Ill say that much. Not everyone
would take the situation as well as you have.
As I drive home, I think about what Bernie has told me.
Although Lizzie has gone on about how much fun she had, there must
have been bad times, and it must have been hairy when she was
between jobs; Lizzies skimmed over that aspect of the life. I imagine
how I would feel, having a daughter and never being able to see her,
and nowhere to call home except rooms my friends lent me. Im still
thinking about it when I go into the Pink Room where Lizzie is sitting
as usual. I give her a big hug and kiss.
Bernie sends her best wishes, Lizzie. I said, reaching for the
teapot which Tina has just left and pouring myself a cup of tea. Do
you want a top up?
Thank you, Jane. You had a successful afternoon with her
then?
Very. Im really looking forward to starting work with her,
Lizzie. Itll be fun. I said sitting back and feeling happier than I
have for a long time. The Christmas shopping was successful too
oh, I ran into Gary in town. He was looking for something for Sally
inspiration mostly! I suggested jewellery and he was very grateful.
How do men survive?
Because we look after them, Jane! She exclaimed with a
twinkle Giles rang to say he would be on the same train tonight, by
the way. He sounded much more relaxed.

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Good, thats a relief. Lizzie, would you and Tina care to come
over to Ivy Lodge on Sunday for lunch? You havent seen it since
Giles finished it
. I havent asked Giles about it but surely he wont mind.
That would be lovely, Jane. But youd better check with Giles
first. She replied, reading my mind it would appear.
Ill ask him tonight.
Im at Oldfield Park good and early and sit waiting on the
platform as I did last night. I spot Giles as soon as he gets off the
train. He sweeps me into his arms for a welcoming kiss.
How was your day, Jane? he asked as we stride up the path to
the road, Session with Bernie go well?
Very well, Im looking forward to starting work with her. I ran
into Gary this morning in town, Giles. He suggested we get together
one evening I said Id discuss it with Sally when I see her
tomorrow. Is any evening possible for you or will we have to make it
after Christmas?
Let me think, todays Tuesday, tomorrow night is okay but
short notice, Ive got a meeting on Thursday at six honestly some
clients are just a pain then Friday is the office Christmas bash so
that is out. Monday would be possible though suggest that.
What form does the Christmas bash take? I asked as we get
into the car. We didnt have a whole office thing, the different
departments would do something and Matthew and I usually joined in
with the sales force.
Oh we take over the function room at the Glassboat, Jane.
Very nice. It has the advantage that we can stay there for most of the
afternoon and then move on to a pub. Ill be late home, Friday, Im
afraid, I cant dash off too early.
Giles, you silly sod! Of course you cant leave early. Do you
want me to come and pick you up? If youre going out drinking you
might miss the train and anyway, well be going back to Ivy Lodge. I
could easily come into Bristol and collect you. I said, hoping to
goodness that I could find my way to the centre of Bristol by car.
That would be helpful, Jane. Ill give it some thought and let
you know on that one. I saw Diana today.
How was she?

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Subdued but trying hard to be normal. It is going to take time

for this to settle down.
Maybe the Christmas break will help.
Yes, it might I think shes going to be away for a week.
Oh Giles, before I forget, what do you think about having
Lizzie and Tina over to Ivy Lodge for lunch on Sunday?
What, this Sunday? he said less than enthusiastically
oh crumbs, have I put my foot in it?
Well I suppose it would be okay. Oh dont mind me, Jane,
Im just tired and the thought of entertaining on my day off is less
than attractive ... and weve got that tree decorating party on Saturday
as well. Have you mentioned the lunch idea to Lizzie?
I did suggest it over tea this afternoon, Giles, Im sorry, I
should have asked you first. But Lizzie said to pass it by you before
she accepted.
Dont sound so pathetic, Jane! Im not going to jump down
your throat just because youve asked your mother for dinner. Hey,
do you realise she is going to be my mother-in-law now I can make
something out of that.
What do you mean?
I always get her something silly for Christmas Ill see if I
can get a book of mother-in-law jokes. Come on, woman, feed your
man weve got to see the vicar in just over an hour and a half.
Peter welcomes us into the vicarage with a big smile. Its
freezing out tonight and although we took the lazy way out by driving
the half a mile between Lizzie House and the vicarage, I am glad to
get into the house.
Come through to my study coffee?
We accept his offer and while he goes off to organise it, I look
around the room. Bookshelves cover most of the walls, theres a desk
covered with papers with a computer and a group of chairs arranged
in a rough circle. Its a friendly room.
What are you thinking Jane? Giles asked Youve got the
most curious expression on your face.
I was just thinking how old is this house? Its Regency,
isnt it? And this must have been the study for generations of vicars
how many people must have sat in here, just like us, planning

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weddings, funerals, sharing their troubles and joys all the

important events in their lives. It makes you think, doesnt it?
Put like that, it certainly does, Jane.
Peter bustles back in followed by Jane carrying a tray of coffee
for us.
Hello, you two. She said, How are things? I saw the photos
in the paper very nice dress, Jane.
Thanks. Were fine. Giles answered with a smile, taking the
mug he was offered.
Ill leave you in peace then.
She quietly closes the study door behind her.
Down to business. Peter said, Giles, I think you said the 8 th
February is the suggested date for the wedding is that still the case?
Yes, please. Giles replied as Peter scribbled on a piece of
paper.
Have either of you been married before?
Giles explains about his marriage and divorce.
Ill need to see your decree absolute, Giles. What about you,
Jane?
I shake my head.
Sensible woman!
Peter talks about marriage generally, apparently ascertaining for
his own benefit that we both realise that its a serious step we are
taking. He takes details of our dates of birth which makes him
laugh, exclaiming that Giles will have no excuse for forgetting either
my birthday or our anniversary and our addresses, explaining that he
will have to call banns in church and telling Giles that hell have to
contact the vicar in Queen Charlton to do the same as he is officially
resident in that parish.
I think that is a group parish under Keynsham, isnt it? Youll
need to talk to Brian Fotherington Ill give you his phone number,
Giles.
Now have either of you any questions? Well set the time and
musical arrangements etc after Christmas if thats all right with you.
Peter, I started tentatively, shy now that it comes to talking
about it, How do I go about being confirmed?

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Is this something you are thinking about, Jane? he asked,

turning to look at me.
Yes. Ive never been involved in church it wasnt something
my family did much but since Ive been here, Ive been thinking
about it a fair bit ... in fact it was one of your sermons that set me off,
Peter. Id like to know more.
Normally, I run a class for those wanting to prepare for
confirmation, Jane. However, as Ive just got a group through they
were confirmed a month ago I doubt there will be anyone else at the
moment. Id be quite happy to take you on your own, if you want to
go ahead with it. Think about it and let me know.
Thanks, Ill do that.
I prattle on happily about how nice Peter is as Giles drives us
back to Lizzies.
Well go and see Lizzie shall we? I suggested as we get out of
the car.
Must we?
I quickly try to hid my disappointment.
No, of course not, are you tired?
Oh for goodness sake, Jane, just stop fussing and leave me
alone He snapped, rushing off upstairs, leaving me standing in the
hallway.
Shaken, I hang my coat and slowly walk up the stairs. I dont
dare go up to the bedroom and hesitate for a moment outside the Pink
Room before going in.
Lizzie looks up as I go in.
Hello, Jane. How did it go?
Very well Peter was lovely. I replied, trying to be normal
but it is wasted effort.
Giles not with you?
Hes gone upstairs. I think hes tired. I replied, straightening
a china house on the table beside me.
Ah come and sit down, Jane. Tina will be up with coffee
shortly. What are you doing tomorrow?
Nothing specific. Id like to do some more Christmas shopping
at some stage, but perhaps I could start stripping off wallpaper
upstairs. I suggested suddenly wondering if there is any point.

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Giles storming off like that has shaken me.

Thats a good idea. Ah, thank you, Tina. Just put the tray
down there, dear.
Lizzie chatters away to me and I do my best to join in while we
drink our coffee. I glance at the clock, just gone ten.
Giles is going to find it difficult adjusting, Jane. Dont take it
so much to heart making a mountain out of a molehill. Give him
space. It will be easier once you have more than one room up there.
Lizzie said sensibly Now, why dont you go on up to bed.
By the time I reach the hallway outside the bedroom, I am
nervous, not quite knowing what I am going to find when I open the
door.
Chickening out, I head for the bathroom and busy myself
washing and cleaning my teeth. But I cant do that for ever and in a
short time I am back outside the door.
I rest my ear against the door there isnt a sound from inside.
Making as little noise as I can, I turn the knob and push the
door open.
The candle on the mantelshelf is lit but all else is in darkness.
For some reason, the fact he lit the candle reassures me. Quietly
closing the door behind me, I stand for a moment, letting my eyes
adjust to the dimness.
Theres a lump in the bed at least he hasnt disappeared back
to Ivy Lodge.
By the light of the candle, I undress as quietly as I can, and,
blowing it out, carefully make my way over to the bed. I slide under
the duvet.
Jane?
And who else were you expecting, you silly sod? I replied,
absurdly relieved that hes apparently still talking to me.
His arm reaches out, pulling me towards him.
Jane, Im sorry I was so
Hush, Giles. It doesnt matter.
A sudden thought grabs me.
Giles, did you set the alarm?
Yes, I did, you daft woman. He replied with a slight laugh in
his voice.

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Thank goodness he sounds normal again.

Jane, I am sorry you didnt deserve me to behave like that. I
dont know what it was.
His voice reveals his uncertainty.
Did Lizzie say anything when I didnt turn up?
Only that she thought that we would all take time to shake
down.
Well, that is sort of what Lizzie said.
It will be better when we have more than one room here, Giles.
Im going to start stripping that frightful wallpaper off tomorrow.
A thought strikes me.
Giles, what would you normally have done when you got home
from work before we got together, that is.
He moves in the bed, turning over onto his back and drawing me
closer,
Id usually go and get changed, then sit down for a while with a
drink and open the post or whatever, get some food then either do
some work or read a book while listening to music. Nothing very
exciting. I might watch some TV, though that was a fairly rare event.
Why?
And from having all that time to yourself, you now find
yourself up to your eyes in females fussing over you without a second
you can call your own. No great wonder it was getting to you. Well
have to organise you some time for yourself, Giles. Maybe, you
should go back to Ivy Lodge on your own sometimes. I suggested,
hoping against hope he wont think it a good idea.
Good try, Jane! Id miss you too much to make that even
worth contemplating. As you say, it will be better once we have more
than one room. At the moment weve got nowhere we can be together
except in bed and that, while having its own attractions, isnt ideal.
Well deal with it, Jane. At least were aware of the problem now.
Ill try to tell you next time, not just let it get to explosion point. Ive
been kicking myself for hurting you ever since I stormed up here.
Dont be so silly, Giles. If you want kicking, Ill do it for you.
I offered, making him laugh.
I might be a silly sod, Jane, but not that silly! Oh Jane, I am so
tired!

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Then go to sleep and you have the nerve to call me daft! I

replied kissing him gently, and, cuddling up to him, I settle down to
sleep.

332

32.

COFFEE AT SALLYS

Thursday morning, I set off to find Sallys house. Taking Lizzie

at her word that it is walkable, Im on foot, enjoying the crisp chill of
the day. The sun is trying to come out, though its far from warm,
and if I were not setting a reasonable pace, I should be cold.
The hill up to the end of the lane is steep but I manage it without
too much difficulty which is a relief, I have so little exercise these
days compared with when I lived in Taunton that Ive been worrying
about it. Ive never bothered too much about being fit but now that I
am being fed so much better than before and not walking very much,
Im concerned that I might start putting on weight, which would never
do. Maybe it will be better when Im working.
The lane winds through a small housing estate and past a
childrens playground where there are several young mums with
toddlers. Ahead I can see green hills rising and, as I leave the houses
behind, I find myself completely in the country, walking between
hedgerows bordering fields. It must be lovely here in the spring I
stop and listen for a moment all I can hear is the stream beside the
lane it is incredibly peaceful.
There are two buildings at the end of the lane, a footpath
winding on past them up the hill out of sight. The first is a large
detached property must be Sallys house. The other building
comprises two semi-detached cottages clearly fairly old one
larger than the other. From what I have been told by various people,
the larger one must be where Jo and Alastair live. Theres an
enormous black cat sitting in the middle of the road he looks at me
with distain, making me feel I ought to curtsey or something.
I turn up Sallys drive, past a blue car. A pale gingery coloured
feline sits on the roof of the car washing itself and, as I turn up the
path leading to the front door, another cat, dark brown this time,
dashes out from under a bush in front of me.
I ring the doorbell and wait.
Jane, come on in. Sally said, opening the door. How are
you? Oh Buttons, you stupid cat! this to the brown cat leaping
through my legs.

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She leads me through to the kitchen, a large cosy room with a

solid looking table set in the middle. The house is very peaceful
considering there ought to be three teenagers around somewhere.
Coffee or tea, Jane? Oh, it is lovely not to be at school.
I know what you mean, Sally, I finished my job in Taunton last
week. Being a lady of leisure is rather nice.
She chuckled, her head on one side as if considering the thought.
Wed probably get bored if it went on too long, though, Jane. Its all
very well for a short time. She said handing me a mug.
Thanks. Youre probably right sickening isnt it! Oh, by
the way, I saw Gary in town the other day, Sally, do tell him his idea
was brilliant next time you talk to him. She looks at me curiously, I
was Christmas shopping and stuck for something to get for Giles,
Gary suggested something which was just right.
Oh I see. Men are notoriously difficult to buy for I find. Bens
getting to that stage, its rather sad I find myself looking at the
displays of socks and thinking they would make an appropriate
present for him!
We both laugh.
So what happened about that dreadful woman, Jane? she
asked joining me at the table.
Diana? She apologised to Giles and begged him not to sack
her, Sally, hes got her on six months probation now. It wasnt very
nice for him though.
No, I bet it wasnt Gary and I talked about it afterwards
appalling position for Giles to be in. Stupid woman! Hey, did you
see the photos in the paper?
Oh dont Sally! I nearly died of embarrassment. Its one thing
knowing you are crazy about a man but for it to show that much .
We look at each other and burst out laughing.
I felt just the same when Gary and I got together. Oh Jane, in
the early days it was impossible! The kids were horrendously
embarrassing at times.
How long have you been together, Sally? I asked, desperately
trying to remember what Anna and Jo have told me about Sally.

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It will be two years next May. Good grief, it shakes you when
you realise how fast time flies, doesnt it? Is it really that long since
the earthquake?
An expression of devastating sorrow flits across her face. Oh
shit! Have I said the wrong thing? But shes going on.
Abis parents, thats my elder brother David and his wife
Joanna they were killed in an earthquake out in Thailand the Easter
before last, Jane. It was all rather traumatic to use the buzz word
and I had a bit of a breakdown - Anna and Jo were marvellous,
looking after the kids and coping with everything I dread to think
what would have happened without their help. Anna was working for
Gary at the time, and he offered to give me some advice when it came
to sorting out the estate and it snowballed from there.
Have you any other family, Sally?
No, David was all there is, but Im lucky I have the kids, and
now I have Gary as well. It could be worse. What about you?
I stared at the steam rising from my mug for a long moment,
pulling my thoughts together.
Its all rather strange actually, Sally. Three months ago, I
would have told you that my parents were both dead and that I have
no other relations now I have a mother who is very much alive and
Giles as well not to mention all his family.
She laughed. Jane, that doesnt make any sense at all how
come?
I explain about Lizzie and my parents and how Giles wrote to
me.
Wow, that is some fairy story, Jane. Giles seems very nice.
Yes. But he is also extremely stubborn at times, Sally.
Very like Gary, then. I remember fighting with him over who
was going to pay for lunch in the early days. Wretched man always
won these lawyers have an unfair advantage at times, Jane.
I catch her eye across the table and we both grin.
So where are you living at the moment, Jane?
Were splitting our time between Ivy Lodge thats Giles
house and Lizzies place, Elizabeth House which is down the other
end of the village. The idea is that well spend Monday to Friday at
Lizzie House and Friday through to Monday at Ivy Lodge. The

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theory is fine but working out the detail is driving me crackers. I

havent cocked up with having the right clothes in the right place yet
but it is only a question of time. As for food shopping I havent
got that far yet. Fortunately, were being catered for by Lizzies
housekeeper at the moment which is wonderful.
So how much space do you have at Lizzie House?
At the moment, weve only got the one room which is far from
ideal but were going to have our own apartment the whole of
the second floor in fact - which is going to be lovely when its
done. I spent a considerable amount of time yesterday stripping off
wallpaper.
You poor thing, it is hard enough shaking down into a new
relationship without having that to contend with as well. To some
extent we do the same. Gary spends the weekday nights at his, and
comes here on Friday through to Monday. But I dont have to worry
about my things, of course.
Anna said you did something of the kind, Sally and I have to
say I was hoping I could pick up some ideas from you. I have a
horrible feeling it will all get more complicated when I start working
at my new job in the New Year.
Where will you be working, Jane? Somewhere local?
Oh its going to be really fun, Sally, Im going to be secretary
to a writer.
Anyone famous?
Bernadette Rivers do you know her books? I havent read
any of them, I must admit, though I shall have to rectify that.
Really? Yes, I know some of her work I didnt know she
lived round here.
Yes, over in Larkhall. Shes an old friend of Lizzies and one
of those very forthright women, you know the sort. Shes very kind
though.
You do travel in exalted circles, Jane. Lizzie Goulden is a
celebrity in her own right too from what I can gather. Jo has
mentioned her several times and Gary, who is not what you would
call up on the arts side of things, has heard of her as well. She has
quite a reputation in the town.

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You must meet her, Sally. Shes a darling and has a wicked
sense of humour! If you come to our New Years Eve party, youll
meet her then.
Ill put it on the calendar which of your two abodes will it be
at? she asked with a grin it does sound so pretentious having two
homes!
Ivy Lodge it all sounds rather posh, doesnt it? Weve even
got a cleaner! A shiver hit me and suddenly it all seemed unreal.
You all right, Jane?
Yes, its just that sometimes I feel out of my depth, Sally, Im
just an ordinary person. The other week I went out for a drink with
Giles and some of the staff from his office I was terrified of letting
him down. He knows so many important people.
Its all relative, Jane. We grow up believing that people like
solicitors, bank managers and head teachers are important but theyre
only people, fairly ordinary people if the truth be told. Giles doesnt
strike me as being at all pompous or proud.
No, hes not and his family are really friendly. Its just every
now and then I remember Im me, Jane, the not very special
secretary.
Now what was it you said to Diana? Sally reminded me with a
grin. Dont be so silly, Jane, Giles obviously doesnt think youre
inferior. You know, you remind me of Anna. She was always putting
herself down.
But shes a lovely woman
Yes, but she doesnt think so! How did you like Sorrento?
Oh, we had a terrific time there with Anna and Simon, Sally.
Theyre so very happy together.
They had their moments too, you know, Jane. All relationships
do. I went through a very silly patch a few months into ours and
made a complete idiot of myself all over Jo one evening. I still cringe
when I remember it. Thats why its important to talk to other likeminded women. It gets you back on the straight and narrow.
Jos lovely, Sally. Shes been very kind to me. I said
remembering the disastrous occasion when Id completely got the
wrong end of the stick about Sarah.

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If Jo likes you, Jane, shell do anything for you. She is a very

special lady. Have you heard her sing?
Yes, I went to a concert with Lizzie shes fantastic! Im
hoping that shell agree to sing at the wedding.
Have you set a date for it yet?
Mmmmm, 8th February its our birthday. I replied; Sally
looks confused Giles is exactly a year older than I am, Sally.
Crumbs, thats unusual. Where are you getting married?
Here at the church, we saw the vicar earlier this week. Do you
think you and Gary will get married, Sally? I asked and to my
surprise, she blushes. Sorry, thats rather personal
No, its all right, Jane. Its a bit of a sore point actually. Gary
really enjoys family life and we are very happy together but on the
couple of occasions the subject has come up, Ive not been able to
deal with it. Not sure why. It is probably along the lines of if it aint
broke, dont mend it if you know what I mean.
I can see what you mean. Youve got the best of both worlds at
the moment I dont know that I blame you for not wanting to
change things. My situation is totally different, Ive gone from
having virtually nothing to having everything more everything than
I ever imagined in fact. Ill get used to it in time, I expect.
Jane, you sound just like Anna! She could never believe that
something good could last and look at her.
I know. I laugh at myself Sally, before I forget, when I saw
Gary he suggested we get together for a drink one evening. I had a
word with Giles and he suggested next Monday evening. Is that any
good for you two?
With a fluid movement, she rises and crosses the room to
consult the chart pinned on the wall head on one side she assesses
the information. It all looks rather complicated to me.
Let me see, Monday night - Katie is out seeing Jake, now that
hes driving it is so much easier, Jane, I dont have to play taxi nearly
so often. Abi is singing carols with the school choir but Ben doesnt
appear to be doing anything much. Yes, I should imagine that would
be okay. Would you like to come over here?

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Monday, well be at Lizzie House, I think yes that should be

okay. What time would you like us? Giles is tending to get back to
Bath at about six these days.
Shall we say, eightish, that gives him time to unwind a little.
I write it in my diary.
The kitchen door opens and one of the girls comes in, Katie I
think.
Katie, youve met Jane, havent you? Sally said, proving me
right.
Yes, we met in church the other week. Youre Lizzies
daughter, arent you? Katie asked, Jake and I are coming over to
help with the Christmas tree on Saturday.
Yes, thats right. Lizzie mentioned you were coming over.
Have you been involved in this before its all rather unknown
territory for me.
Yes, we did it last year. Lizzie has carols playing and everyone
has their particular role we did the tinsel last year. She has a
massive tree and theres a specific order for the decorations to go on
its a bit like a complicated dance. We had wine and mince pies it
was great fun. Katie explained, Mum, do you know where I can find
some sticky tape? Im wrapping presents and the reel isnt where left
it.
Try the office, Jane, but knock first, Bens in there and for all I
know hes wrapping things too.
Sally, this has been lovely, but I must be going. The wallpaper
calls! I said rising.
Katie turns at the door, Are you doing some decorating, Jane?
Abi and I are very capable painters if you need any help, let us
know.
I glance at Sally who nods her agreement.
Its true, Jane. They helped out when our neighbour moved in
and have since done their bedroom, the lounge and the office here.
They could probably come and help you with the wallpaper removal
as well, if you like.
I am not going to turn down offers of help and we arrange that
Katie and Abi, and possibly Ben, if he feels like it (his sister is not
overly convinced of this) will come over to Lizzie House this

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afternoon armed with scrapers. It will get the job done so much
quicker and company would be nice.

******
Waiting at the station for Giles, I shiver in the darkness. The
wind has become bitter and howls along the railway track I doubt
we shall have snow but it is certainly cold enough. Eventually the
train arrives and the usual mob of people discharges onto the
platform. And there he is We join the rush heading up the slope
towards the road where the car is parked. I insert the key in the
ignition but before I can drive off, Giles stops me.
Jane, Ive got a little something for you. I got it yesterday but
somehow managed to leave it at the office it is a sort of apology for
the other night.
He hands me a small package wrapped in thin paper.
Giles, you didnt need to do that. I spluttered. By the light of
the street lamp beside the car, I remove the paper, it is a small book,
an old one by the look of it as it is bound in leather and the paper is
very thin a book of love poetry on the flyleaf there is an
inscription in faded ink:
To my beloved, who loves me despite everything. G. December
1905
I picked it up in the bookshop and when I saw the inscription, I
had to get it.
Oh Giles! Its beautiful. I said, stroking the soft cover. I
wonder who it belonged to and what happened to them.
I asked the bookseller that and oddly enough he could tell me a
little. He said it came from a house clearance he had done recently in
Clifton. An executors sale the woman who owned it died not long
ago and it was in a box labelled My mothers books. I imagine that
G was her man, dont know if he survived the Great War but it
seems that she continued loving him regardless. I like to think that
they married and lived happily ever after.

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I do hope so. I murmured feeling the delicious smoothness of

the pages, overcome by the charm of the gift.
Now are you going to take me home, and feed me, only Im
starving? He added plaintively into the silence in the car.
Your wish is my command, my lord. I replied with a grin,
handing him the book to hold and starting the car.
Now that could give me ideas, Jane.
Behave yourself, Giles!
He chuckles.
So what have you been up to today, Jane?
Well I went over to see Sally this morning and we had
coffee and a chat oh we arranged to meet for a drink on Monday
night at her place. Is that okay? He grunted, which I took to mark
agreement. Then her two girls came and scraped off wallpaper this
afternoon we got a lot done. I reckon one more session and it will
all be off. Theyre nice girls do you know them?
Ive met Katie several times she and Jake have been an item
for some time now. I dont know the other one though. That was
nice of them, Jane, Im glad you had some help, I feel guilty that Ive
not been able to help you myself.
Dont be silly, Giles, youre working! When do you suggest
you strip wallpaper? I said, parking the car outside Lizzies, Come
on lets go and find you some food.

341

33.

GILES OFFICE DO

It didnt take me as long as I thought it would to drive into

Bristol Im early. But thats okay. The darkness around me is
soothing. It will be nice to sit and just think quietly for a while. I
dont get much chance to do that these days not that I mind, but
its been a busy few days.
Ive got most of my Christmas presents sorted out now that
lovely mother and child statue I found really pleased me. I hope
Lizzie will like it.
I relax back against the cushions of the drivers seat and think
about the coming weekend. I doubt Giles will want to get up too
early tomorrow but he did say that he needs to go shopping so maybe
Ill suggest that he drops me at Lizzie House and then goes off to do
whatever he needs to do Im sure I can help prepare for the
Christmas tree decoration party if nothing else.
I did a load of shopping today in preparation for Lizzie and Tina
coming over on Sunday fortunately there was space in Lizzies
freezer so I could leave the frozen stuff there. Ill pick it up tomorrow
to take over to Ivy Lodge. It is ages since I cooked anything, I hope I
dont make a mess of it.
Sitting here in the car, parked in the road by the office, I idly
watch the people going by. This Friday will have been the office
party for lots of offices, I suppose. Thisll be the first year Ive not
been involved in something like that, but Im partying lots so dont
really miss it
A group of rowdy young women weave their way up the road
I watch as they stagger past, the metal tips of their ridiculous heels
slipping and sliding on the paving slabs.
I wonder if Diana went to the office do. Dont be silly, Jane, of
course she did.
Lizzies surprised that I havent heard anythi ng from her an
apology would have been appropriate.
I glance at the clock on the dashboard, hell be along soon. He
did say here outside the office, didnt he? Yes, of course, he did
Jane, you get worse!

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Next week . were going over to Sallys on Monday evening

for drinks with Gary and Sally. That will be nice I like Sally. Then
Tuesday is Christmas Eve .. we talked about the arrangements for
the holiday last night were going to stay at Lizzie House on
Christmas Eve, and then all go over to Josephs for lunch on
Christmas Day. Then it will be back to Ivy Lodge on Christmas
Night then over to Lizzie House on Boxing Day well probably
stay there that night, then drinking isnt a problem and go back to
Ivy Lodge the day after. Giles has managed to take that day off, he
didnt think hed be able to but hes managed it. Hell have to go in
on the Monday and at least part of New Years Eve but is hoping to
have the afternoon off so he can help organise the party I do hope
Sarah will come over to stay over the weekend sometime maybe
on the Sunday then she can stay over until New Years Day. Oh,
and of course, Ive got to go down to Taunton on Monday to close up
the flat for good. That will feel strange
I gaze unseeing up the road the street lights are bright against
the clear sky therell be a frost tonight, I should think its
wonderful not having to worry about heating bills I wonder where
Giles is. I said not to worry about time too much but he should be
around soon.
Is that a group of people walking down this way from the
Bridge? Yes, I think so maybe thats them. Yes, thats Giles I
dont know what it is, but Id recognise him anywhere. I hope
theyve had a good time.
Oh hell, Dianas there as well!
They draw level with the car clearly theyve had a good time.
Philip and Andrew come over and open the drivers door and I get out
to say hello to them. Philip is drunk and ver y friendly, rather like an
overexcited Old English sheepdog, but Andrew appears to be keeping
an eye on him.
Have you had a good time, boys? I ask and am assured that it
has been splendid, just splendid.
Giles comes over and gives me a hug. Hes obviously been
drinking but is nowhere near as bad as Philip.

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My chariot awaits! Gentlemen and lady, I shall bid you

goodnight. He said sweeping a bow and, to my surprise, not falling
over as he does it.
He goes round to get in the car but before I can get back into the
drivers seat, I am surprised to hear my name called by Diana. Shes
stone cold sober by the look of it and looking tense.
Jane, about last week um I hope youll accept my sincere
apologies. My behaviour was appalling, inexcusable and and
Im sorry.
Its obvious that she has been rehearsing this.
I dont know what to say I glance at Giles, hovering by the
open door on the other side of the car; the others are standing a little
way off waiting to see what I do.
Diana, um thank you I er if youll excuse me
Ive got to go
With a slight smile and feeling a complete fool, I get into the
car, shut the door and start the car. Andrew, draws Diana back to
where Philip is standing. I check Giles is belted in and, concentrating
on the driving, I move off.
Did you have a good time, Giles? I asked determined not to
let this episode spoil his evening.
Brilliant. It went very well. He replied and goes on to tell me
in great detail what he had to eat.
I have to concentrate on the driving; its not as though I am
going back the way I came and I havent driven back to Ivy Lodge
from Bristol before, though I have memorised the route though
perhaps a Friday night with an inebriated fianc next to me (and, go
on admit it your nerves jangling slightly from the Diana incident)
is not the best time to try it.
A37 through Whitchurch and then left I keep repeating to
myself as Giles chats away about nothing much. Hes pretty plastered
but seems to be a happy dru nk. I have to say that he carries it well
and its only because I know him so well that I can detect the odd
inconsistency on the face of it, he doesnt appear intoxicated at all.
I wonder how hell react to what we did over at Ivy Lodge this
afternoon. It was Abis idea actually. Wed been chatting while
scraping off wallpaper and shed been telling me all about the

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Christmas decorations theyve just put up at Sallys house. What with

one thing and another, I hadnt given any thought to decorations. Im
still not sure how it evolved, but we came up with the idea of me
getting a tree and some fairy lights and putting them up so that Giles
would be surprised when he comes home tonight. It had felt like a
brilliant idea getting the tree had been a little bit of a challenge, as
I didnt want to put it in the car Id never have got the pine needles
out of the upholstery. But then Id hit on the idea of ringing Daisy
I was right, one of the locals sells Christmas trees and she agreed to
arrange for a suitable tree to be delivered to the house.
Abi was really up for it and, when I rang Sally to check that it
was okay for her to do this, Ben volunteered to come as well. Lizzie
thought it was a great idea it appealed to her wicked sense of
humour! As it happened, it was just as well that Ben did come. Hes
a strong lad, for which, when I saw the size of the tree, I was
extremely grateful.
I decided to stick to a simple plan putting the tree in the
lounge with a colour scheme of decorations to tone in with the
traditional dcor.
Ive gone for red baubles and strings of shiny
beads rather than tinsel, with simple white fairy lights. We had a
manic few hours frantically shopping for decorations and then
dashing over to Ivy Lodge to put it all together. But the kids were
great and it was fun. I had to search for lametta I love the effect it
makes dangling on the ends of branches its something we used to
have when I was a child. In the end I ran some to earth in a shop near
the top of Milsom Street red and gold. I knew there was some
holly we could pilfer from the garden as well it is covered with
berries this year and looked effective arranged round the pictures in
the hall and lounge I dangled some lametta off that as well. The
overall effect enhanced the slightly Edwardian feel to the place and
wed been very satisfied when wed finally finished. Id deliberately
left the Christmas tree lights on theyll show when we drive in. I
hope he likes it
Jane, its the next road on the left, Giles said helpfully from
the depths of darkness beside me, dragging me back to the present,
Its easy to miss.

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What? Oh thanks, I wasnt sure if it was this one or the next

one it all looks so different in the dark.
We drive down the lane and into the village, my nerves starting
to jangle a little what if he doesnt like it ... Ivy Lodge is just
beyond the centre of the village, round a sharp right angle bend.
There are Christmas lights showing in some of the houses it all
looks very festive.
As I turn into the drive, I feel my heart miss a beat as I see how
obvious the lights are, spilling out onto the patio at the side of the
house. Giles sits up sharply obviously drink does not stop him
noticing things.
Someone left a light on? Thats unlike Daisy.
My heart beating fast, I park the car and, wondering if it might
have been wiser to have asked first, trail behind him as he heads for
the house.
He unlocks the front door and, turns on the hall light. A glance
at his face as he takes in the decorations and all my fears dissipate
his reaction all I could have wished for: a little boy discovering the
magic of Christmas. I have to say, that it does look very pretty the
strings of lametta catching the draught from the door and sparkling in
the light; the holly with its red berries tucked behind the pictures. I
wonder if hell notice the mistletoe we hung from the central light
Ben found that when he was foraging for holly and suggested we
hung it there.
I detect the hand of my beloved, Giles said, his eyes alight
with more than mere pleasure, Jane, it looks lovely.
Hes far more affected by it than I thought he would be the
drink possibly?
Come and see the lounge, Giles. I said, taking his hand, but he
stops me hes spotted the mistletoe.
When I finally get to take him into the lounge his reaction is all I
could wish for.
What a beautiful tree! he commented, standing grinning at the
result of our labours. Who helped you? You cant have done all this
on your own.

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Abi and Ben were my partners in crime, Giles Sallys kids,

you know? - and Daisy organised the delivery of the tree. Do you
really like it?
Very much, Jane, very much indeed. He said as he moved
closer to examine some of the baubles.
I eventually drag him away from the lounge and pour some
coffee down him its cosy sitting in the kitchen with him going on
and on about how lovely the decorations are.
You probably think Im going overboard on this. He suddenly
said reaching across the table and taking my hand, Im not as drunk
as you think, Jane, well not on alcohol anyway, its more the fact that
you see this place as somewhere which is yours you see, Ive been
worrying I dont want this to be somewhere you see as mine
where you only camp, any more than our apartment at Lizzie House is
somewhere I visit. I was thinking about it on the train the other day,
Jane, I want us to have two proper homes its going to take a bit of
organisation, I know, but I think we can do it. If it means getting two
of everything, then well do that. Do you think Im crazy?
No, not at all. Lifes not going to be ordinary, is it? But that
doesnt mean it cant work. Were doing pretty well so far.
We sit there in the kitchen for over an hour talking about the
various ideas we have for our two homes we havent had much
chance to talk like this up to now. Looking at him scribbling notes on
the pad he got from the study a while back, I smile.
Whats amusing you, my lady? he asked, chewing the top of
the pen with his head cocked on one side.
Just thinking how much I love you. I replied. Even when
you have ink on the end of your nose!
Oh I havent, have I? he said rubbing his nose with the back
of his hand.
Yes, come here, Ill do it. I walk round the table and scrub at
his face with a piece of damp kitchen roll.
He catches my hand and pulls me down to sit on his lap.
I sometimes wonder how Dad managed to keep his hands off
Lizzie, you know. He said thoughtfully, Mind you, although you
two are alike, there are differences.
Oh?

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I warned you about that habit of yours, Jane He said

suddenly rising to his feet but catching me before I fall on the floor.
While I am off balance, he scoops me up in his arms and carries
me off towards the door.
Giles! Put me down! I laughed but it gets me nowhere and a
few minutes later, after a precarious and decidedly undignified ascent
of the staircase, I am dumped unceremoniously on the bed.
The lights are still on downstairs, Giles.
Oh stop fussing, you daft woman! he replied, kissing me, his
hands busy.
******
I am vaguely aware that Giles gets up during the night but dont
really wake so it is not until I get up in the morning and go searching
for coffee, that I realise he must have gone downstairs at some stage
and turned off all the lights.
Hes still sound asleep so I potter in the kitchen, clearing up the
few bits we used last night and, making myself a mug of coffee. I
wander into the lounge to drink it and admire the decorations.
Funny how Giles picked up on how I feel about this house.
Theres no denying that I have felt like a visitor here and it wasnt
until wed finished putting up the decorations that I felt differently,
Id made my mark on the place and now its mine. I wonder if Giles
feels like that about the apartment.
Oh, there you are. Said a sleepy voice from the doorway
I look round to see Giles in his dressing gown.
I looked in the kitchen, but you werent there.
You were asleep so I left you, you silly sod, you work hard
enough! I replied, rising and going over to give him a morning hug.
I see you were up in the night.
Only for a glass of water. I turned everything off while I was
down here. He said smiling as he looks round the room. It still
gives me a kick that you did all this.
Giles, do you feel that the apartment over at Lizzie House isnt
yours? I asked as we stroll into the kitchen to get him some coffee.

348

Thats a difficult one, Jane, on one level no because Lizzie

House has been a home from home for years and yet on another level
Id have to say yes because there is nothing of me over there at the
moment. But that will change and, already, Im seeing your room as
ours.
After Christmas, well get it all sorted out properly youll
have your space there and Ill have mine here though goodness
only knows what Im going to do with it.
Hobbies?
Crafts?
Once youre working, youll want
something to relax with and my job will mean that therell be times
when Im working and youre not. Think about it. He suggested,
Oh that coffee is good! What are we doing today?
You said you wanted to go shopping, Giles. I thought that if
you dropped me over at Lizzie House you could go off for a few
hours on your own. Im sure I can make myself useful preparing for
tonight the Christmas Tree. I explained as he looks at me
puzzled. Well be eating at Lizzie House anyway.
Yes, that would work. Is there anything particular you would
like for Christmas, Jane? Ive got some ideas but if theres something
special you want He asked, nursing his mug and I wonder for a
moment if he has a hangover; hes looking fragile this morning.
Id really love some large plants for our flat, Giles. I love
gardening but havent been able to indulge myself at all for the past
few years and those large rooms are just crying out for big palms.
But youd prefer to chose those yourself, I expect, well do that
in the New Year sometime.
Equipping the apartment is going to cost a fair bit, Giles.
When are you going to get the idea that you are not going to
bankrupt me, my lady? he said with a grin, And just for the record, I
am not purely dependent on the salary I earn. My mother left me a
tidy little sum of money - it produces interest which I use to play with
thats how I managed to do this place.
Well use it for the
apartment.
This whole money is no object thing is very hard to get used
to, Giles. Not only you, but Lizzie as well. My parents, as I still
think of them, never even owned their home. Im used to living
within my income.

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Well have to sit down sometime and talk money, Jane. You
ought to know what the situation is and we need to work out how
were going to organise payment of bills and the like with regard to
the apartment. Ive already had words with Lizzie about paying rent
of some sort and made a little headway with regard to the concept
though it was hard going but weve not talked actual amounts.
Shes very stubborn sometimes, I had a chat with her as well on
that front and actually had to threaten to move in here full time in
order to get her to agree.
Ah, so maybe my victory in that respect was not as great as I
imagined.
For the time being, Jane, and respecting your
independence, I shall rely on you to tell me if you need money for
household expenses. Once were married, I shall probably want to
buy you the odd item of clothing sexy underwear crutchless
knickers perhaps or ow! he cried as I throw the very handily
placed oven gloves at him.
Okay, Ill go along with that for the time being, Giles. I said,
taking refuge on the other side of the table and neatly catching the
oven gloves as they come soaring back through the air in my
direction. Do you want breakfast or is your hangover too bad? I
asked with a straight face.
Its not so bad that I cant manage some food, thank you Jane.
He replied with an attempt at dignity. What have we got?
Eggs, cereal, toast I think thats about it. I replied, quickly
looking in the fridge. Were still using up the last of the shopping
Giles did. I went shopping yesterday but its all at Lizzie House
waiting to come home with us tonight . I went on, my mind on
the fridge and its contents.
Yuk what on earth was in this container? The mould
suggests its well past its sell by date. Were also getting low on
milk.
Giles, do you know, I dont even know what you like to eat
apart from steak that is.
Dont sound so distressed, you daft woman. I eat virtually
anything Aunt Joans training. Im not allergic to anything either if
that is any help. A couple of boiled eggs would go down pretty well,
I think.

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Why dont you go and shower while I get it organised, Giles.

Then you can wash up while I shower.
Why dont you go and shower and then you can wash up. He
countered, Jane, I do enjoy being with you. Okay, Ill go and
shower give me fifteen minutes I like my eggs soft boiled.
Picky, are we? I replied, jumping as he slaps my behind as he
passes.
Its not until we are on our way over to Lizzies that I
remember what else I wanted to ask him.
This party of ours, Giles. I said, watching the now familiar
reaction of his to my claiming co-ownership of something, Have you
done anything about invitations how many are we expecting and
what do you want to do re catering?
All in hand, Jane. I got Pam to issue invitations to people we
havent invited in person. Ive included Peter and Jane Hammond, by
the way, hope you dont mind.
Of course not. How many do you expect to turn up?
About sixty or seventy I suppose. Thats about par for the
course. I used to have these parties regularly until a year or so ago.
He glances across at me and I see his lips twitch at my horrified
expression Id been thinking about a dozen.
The village will turn out in force, I expect.
Sixty or seventy? I squeaked. Bloody hell, Giles!
The caterings all in hand, Jane. One of Daisys scrubbers runs
a catering company and Ive got her booked. Theyll be along on the
afternoon of the party to set it all up. Dont look so horrified, Jane.
I daresay Ill get used to it, Giles, but as we were saying this
morning, this is a completely new ballgame for me. Have you heard
from Sarah at all?
No, why?
I was hoping that shed come and stay with us, possibly from
the Sunday after Christmas. I think Im going to need the moral
support now.
Thats a sound idea, Ill give her a ring later. Dont forget that
Colin and Richard are moving your stuff up from Taunton on the
Monday though theres no reason why you couldnt drive down
with Sarah. Shed probably enjoy the ride.

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Ill have to get some more clothes, I can see that. What with
Josephs on Christmas Day, Lizzie House on Boxing Day, Lizzies
party on the Saturday and ours on the Tuesday, Im going to run out
of party dresses.
Youll only need party dresses for Lizzies do and the New
Year one, Jane, the others are not dressy functions just family gettogethers. I like that dress you wore for dinner.
What dress? Which dinner?
Just after I brought you up here after your flu episode. A long,
sort of mediaeval thing all maiden in distress style.
That makes me laugh, remembering Jos description of Giles
charging off to rescue me.
Whats so funny? he asked, pulling into Lizzies forecourt.
Just something Jo said once, Ill tell you one day. I promised.
Are you coming in to say hello or dashing off straight away?
Ill come in for a few minutes, just in case theres anything
anyone wants from town. he replied getting out of the car.
The Pink Room is in totally disarray. Boxes and tissue paper
are heaped everywhere and Tina is standing in the middle of it all
looking harrassed.
Thank goodness you have arrived, Jane! Oh, hello, Giles.
She explains that everything needs to be packed away safely, the
room cleaned and some of the furniture put away for the Christmas
period. It is an annual event which means that the Pink Room gets its
spring clean early.
Giles disappears to see Lizzie who has been relegated to her
bedroom to sit quietly and I get down to helping Tina. Each ornament
and photo has to be cleaned and wrapped carefully, then put in a box.
Its time-consuming to say the least. However, with two of us doing
the work, it only takes an hour. The dozen or so tables are given a
thorough polish and four of them moved out into the hallway. Theyll
be taken downstairs later.
Tina gives the drapery on the ceiling a good shake to dislodge
any dust or spiders and, once we have let the dust settle, gives the
carpet a right royal going over with the industrial vacuum cleaner.
She turns the radiators right down, opens the windows and gives the

352

room a good airing while we go downstairs, make tea and carry it up

to Lizzies room. Good job I am in my jeans.
I hear your surprise went down well, Jane. Lizzie said with a
grin, Giles was full of it.
Yes, I was really pleased. Oh Lizzie, I need your advice. I
wailed Giles has told me all about his party I dont know what
Im going to wear for that, and then theres your party and all the
family events Im out of my depth.
Nonsense, Jane. Pull yourself together. Lizzie replied in a nononsense tone, You should get a dress for the New Year party that
will be a black tie do and youll need something dressy for that, but
the family events are nothing to worry about skirts or trousers with a
smart jumper would do perfectly well for those and as for mine, well
anything goes at that.
Giles suggested that dress I wore when he and Joseph came
over after I was ill. I said, trying to take all this in.
Lizzie thinks for a moment, trying to remember the one I am
talking about,
Oh, I know the one. Yes, that looks nice on you you could
certainly wear that for my party. There you see, problem solved, you
only need to get one dress and we can go out and look for that on
Monday. She said finally, making me feel a complete fool.
Tina smiles understandingly at me.
By the time Giles gets back, we have arranged the Pink Room
so that there is space for the tree, which is currently lying in the
hallway, to be put up in one corner. And while I go to change into
something less dusty, Tina finds some chairs from somewhere to
augment the usual selection, so that we can accommodate the
however many people Lizzie is expecting over Christmas. She tells
me that well have to put the extension on the dining table sometime
as well therell be fourteen of us for dinner on Boxing Day. I offer
my help with the preparations for the food but Tina assures me that
shes got everything in hand, saying that shell ask me if she needs
any help. All these capable people make me feel inadequate, I am
starting to get cold feet about cooking dinner tomorrow.

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Its freezing outside and I decide to transfer the shopping into

the car now any frozen stuff will be all right in the boot and, at least
that way, I wont forget to take it home.
Giles goes out to the garage and unearths the tub which they use
for the tree it has a mechanism inside it which will hold the tree firm
and also allows it to be watered. He assures me that this prevents the
wretched thing dropping needles all over the carpet, but I remain to be
persuaded of this every tree I have seen drops on contact with
central heating. The boxes of decorations are placed ready at the side
of the room and Tina has brought out some glasses and bottles of
wine ready for later when people arrive.
Dinner is in the kitchen for us and on a tray for Lizzie. She has
strict instructions to rest from Tina and, for once, isnt being awkward
about it.
By seven thirty, theres an air of excitement about the house. Jo
and Alastair arrive with Jake and Katie in tow. Katie gives me a big
hug and asks how the surprise went shes heard all about it from
Abi and Ben. She introduces Jake to me, Ive not met him before;
hes very like his father.
Jo, lovely to see you. Lizzie enthused How are the
arrangements going?
Jo explains that they are having Alastairs parents to stay for
Christmas a first in a big way and that she has been busy getting
the house ready for them.
It will be lovely having them here for Ellies first Christmas.
Giles is organising the male co ntingent, explaining that they
need to bring up the tree and the barrel. We ladies leave them to it,
restricting ourselves to hanging over the banister and giggling quietly
as they try to heave the ten foot high tree up the stairs. Jake appears
to be the only one with any practical sense, Giles strength being in
giving orders more than practical engineering and Alastair merely
doing what he is told; Jo regales us with some highly apocryphal but
amusing stories about Alastairs total lack of practical skill.
Despite these problems, between them, they get the tree up to
the Pink Room and, after some slight technical difficulties, safely
stowed in the barrel. Tina then opens the wine and hands round the
glasses.

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A toast to the tree! Lizzie cried, and we all raise our glasses.
Katie had mentioned to me before that there is a very specific
order in which things have to be done and I start to realise just what
she means. Lizzie is in full grande dame mode, the boxes of
decorations placed by her chair so she can reach them and allowing
her to control the festivities minutely. She hands the fairy which is to
go on the top of the tree to Giles and we all watch as he climbs the Aframe ladder, stabilised by Jake and Alastair on either side, and
stretches over to attach the fairy securely to the top of the tree.
Once the fairy is in place, Lizzie opens the box of lights miles
of them!
We know they work because Tina plugged them in this
afternoon and we went through them together tightening all the loose
bulbs. I suppose that is what they mean by being involved in the
backstage of a production! Alastair is detailed to untangle the cables
(we didnt do that being far too busy with everything else) while
Giles steadies the ladder for Jake to drape t he lights around the
spreading branches of the tree. As he brushes the needles, a
gloriously rich pine scent fills the room, and I find I am grinning as I
drink in the timelessness of the aroma. Once the lights are in place,
Tina plugs them in and we stand back admiring the effect.
Theres a blank area over there, Jake. Katie points out, No,
not there, over that way a bit more. Thats better.
The men sit down to enjoy a well earned sip or two of wine and
we women are handed the baubles to be hung. Glass balls in a
rainbow of colours some large, some small small wooden
figures of angels and shepherds We hang them all on the branches,
Katie going up the ladder this time to reach the top ones. Like me,
Lizzie uses lametta to finish off the decorations on her tree, the shreds
of weightless gold and silver picking up the lights and shimmering in
the movement of air in the room. We take our time, stopping to top
up on wine and to eat the nibbles which Tina has put out. Its all very
friendly and jolly in the way that we tend to think Victorian
Christmases should be and, in the middle of it all, Lizzie sits grinning,
her excitement infecting us all.
It is nine by the time weve finished. The final part of the ritual
being the unwrapping by the two youngest members of the group of
the nativity scene. Lizzie has a set of wooden figures hand carved

355

by the look of them the adult figures standing six inches tall at least.
They are beautiful and are set out on the little table in the corner
opposite the door. Everyone is given a figure and once Tina has set
up the stable and the manger, everyone has to put their figure into the
picture. Discussion takes place on where the shepherds should stand
(Jo and Alastair are in charge of the shepherding fraternity complete
with sheep), Katie and Jake are husbanding the ox and ass contingent
and Giles and I get to put in Mary and Joseph. The three Magi are set
on the top of a bookshelf halfway down the room theyre still in
transit.
Wheres the baby? I asked Lizzie, as various people tweak
their figures for best effect.
Hes not arrived yet, Jane. She replied with a smile. He gets
put in the manger on Christmas Eve when we get back from the
midnight service.
Oh.
Id not thought of it like that before but of course, it makes
sense.
Tina brings in a candlestick and places it carefully behind the
stable so that the flame from it will illuminate the star perched on top
of the stable without creating a fire hazard. It really is a most
beautiful moment. Giles disappears with Tina, taking the empty
boxes back to wherever it is they live. Clearly this is a familiar
tradition with him.
Alastair and Jo are over by the window talking quietly and
urgently to each other. I see him put his arm round her and hold her
tight something you rarely see they are not a demonstrative
couple. Is something wrong? I look enquiringly at Lizzie. She
beckoned me close and whispered.
Last Christmas was very emotional for them, Jane. Jo was in
the last stages of pregnancy with Ellie. Shed been pregnant once
before, a long time before she knew Alastair, but the baby sadly had
been born dead and this was hanging over them. Both she and
Alastair had been worrying about it and Christmas, with all its
overtones of mothers and babies, was one step too far for them. I
foolishly didnt see this and invited them along as I have today the
empty crib was too much. It is the only time I have ever seen Alastair

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break down Jo had a devil of a time with him, convincing him that it
was okay to fall apart thats partly why we are all so close. He had
the dual worry of Jo and the baby as well, you see he felt guilty
because it was his idea for them to try for a child in the first place.
These strong, silent men are the devil at times. It was an dreadfully
anxious time and when Jo was so ill after Ellies birth, it was even
worse.
I glance over to them standing by the window, Alastair always
seems so calm and unemotional.
Dont be fooled by that pragmatic exterior, Jane, those two
have a relationship that most people never even dream of. Lizzie
continued as if reading my mind. But its a mixed blessing loving
someone that much. I worry about them.
A movement on my right catches my eye Katie has put an arm
round Jake. They are obviously talking about Jo and Alastair.
Jakes very close to his father, Jane, he hates seeing Alastair
upset but Katies very practical and understands that this is one
occasion when Jake is helpless. I have a feeling that those two will
stick together.
The door opens, and I turn to see Giles coming into the room.
He immediately takes in the scene by the window and I see his face
flooded with compassion. Yes, he would understand how hard
Alastair found it falling apart, especially in public.
Lizzie, can I top your glass up? he said brightly, Jake, Katie
more wine? he said, drawing us together and lightening the
atmosphere.
I hold my glass out and as he fills it and gives it back, our hands
touch and he smiles at me. Funny how joy and sorrow are so often
found so close together. This is a wonderful evening and yet under all
the very real happiness, there is an underlying grief. But I suppose
that is life all the truly real events are a mixture of the two.
I mention this to Giles as we are driving home. The party had
revived after the tiny hiatus and wed all sat around comfortably
chatting, but no-one wanted to stay late and it broke up just before
ten.
I think youve just about got it right, Jane. But getting back to
Alastair for a moment, hes an odd bugger

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What do you mean?

He doesnt give a toss for convention their marriage for
example. Alastairs divorce came through, oh it must have been at
about the end of September. All along he was adamant that they were
going to be married before this baby arrived, and arranged the whole
thing special licence the lot. Peter Hammond officiated. The
thing was he didnt tell Jo. One morning, he just told her to put on
her prettiest dress, drove her to the church where Gerald and Jake
were waiting, and married her. Jake was over eighteen so able to act
as a witness along with Gerald. A lot of women would have been
disappointed but Jo was over the moon I heard about it after
typical Alastair thing to do.
Jo says Alastairs parents are coming for Christmas, Giles. She
said it as though it was something special.
It is, Jane, Alastair and his parents didnt speak for something
like twenty years, I think it was. They only met up again last summer
Jo orchestrated it. Jake had never met them before that. Obviously,
they came down when Ellie was born, but this is a major event.
Have you known them long?
Who, Jo and Alastair? he asked as he waits for a red light to
turn green, Let me think, Lizzie married Maurice and moved here in
the late eighties thats right, Id just done my A levels. When I
came back after university, I met Alastair at one of Lizzies parties.
He was assistant MD with the operatic society then and was just
getting married to Karen thats Jakes mother. I was doing a bit in
the chorus for the society at the time and I got to know him fairly
well.
We were in the same boat you see just married - and
socialised a fair bit together. Jo only moved to the area about eight
years ago. She joined the society and started singing with Alastair
just after that.
You sing? I exclaimed theres so much I dont know about
this man.
A bit. Tenor not solo material, though I can hold a tune
reasonably. I play a little piano too. What about you?
No idea. Alastairs said hell have a session with me sometime
to find out. Lizzie is keen on it.

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Not surprised, if you take after her in that respect as well,

youll have a lovely voice. Well have to fi nd out.
I am just dropping off to sleep when I hear Giles exclaim.
Whats the matter? I asked sleepily, snuggling into him as I
invariably do these days.
A thought just struck me, Jane. If we hit the jackpot once your
injection has worn off, we could be thinking in terms of real babies in
cradles next Christmas.
That wakes me up all right! I stare into the darkness, listening
to Giles sleeping and wonder.

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34.

SUNDAY LUNCH

Not surprisingly, Im a bag of nerves when I get up next

morning.
When was the last time I cooked a proper meal? Let alone one
for my mother in my fiancs kitchen.
I send Giles off to get some milk the one thing I forgot to get
yesterday.
While hes out I try to calm down and get myself organised.
Come on, Jane its only a roast dinner I turn the oven on
why isnt it doing something? Surely it isnt broken is there a
power cut ah, its turned off at the switch on the wall. Dont be so
silly, Jane! Putting the chicken in the bottom half of a casserole I
have found in the cupboard, I add some water so it wont dry out and
shove it into the oven. So far so good. I couldnt face baking
anything complicated for dessert so have resorted to ice cream. Cant
go far wrong with that. Peel the potatoes . find a potato peeler
oh surely theres one somewhere ah there it is.
By the time Giles returns there isnt a shop in the village so he
had to go into Keynsham I have a saucepan full of potatoes being
par-boiled ready to be put in the oven to be roasted.
Hows it going, Jane? he asked anxiously my state of panic
had made itself very visible when I jumped down his throat first thing
making me feel even worse.
Fine. Its all fine Im sorry I snapped at you before, Giles.
Hey, you daft woman, no need for tears. Come on, Jane, this is
silly. He said as he puts his arms round me and mops me up the
clean hanky which he always carries blast him! Now what is this
all about? Eh?
Oh Giles, I so want to get it right.
What makes you think that you wont?
Because I havent cooked a proper meal for months and I dont
know where anything is and Im letting you down and
I burst into tears properly sensibly, he doesnt try to reason
with me but just holds me and rocks me as he did when I was ill until
I get to the sniffing stage and then the potatoes boil over. With a
wail I throw myself at the hob and lift the saucepan off the heat.
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Giles comes up behind me, takes the saucepan out of my hands and,
firmly takes hold of me by the shoulders.
Look at me, Jane. Thats better. Now listen. Lizzie wont give
a damn if you serve her up incinerated horse dung youre her much
loved daughter, youre entertaining her in your home. Got that? No,
dont just nod at me Thats better. If your pride will allow it, Ill
help you not that I think for a moment that youll need any help. I
have no doubt at all that you were brought up to cook a decent meal.
As for letting me down, you daft woman, Ive told you before, you
cant do that. Oh Jane, Jane, what am I going to do with you? he
said holding me close and sighing deeply.
I relax against him and sniff to stop my nose running, with a
smile he hands me the now damp hankie and I blow my nose.
I diagnose a bad attack of bridal nerves, here, my lady. He
said once I have finished. I think I would prescribe a small glass of
wine.
Giles
He sits me down and goes off to fetch a wine glass from the
dining room, pours me a half glass from the open bottle of red wine
on the side and hands it to me.
Drink it up, my lady, it will settle your nerves a little. Not that
I recommend alcohol as a tonic most of the time, but this morning, I
think it may just help.
Thank you, Giles. I said sipping the wine. Sorr
I dont get any further he shuts me up and I giggle.
Thats better. Now where are we with this dinner?
He helps me prepare the rest of the veg carrots and cauliflower
and watches as I put the potatoes in to roast. Together we lay the
dining table he does some fancy designs with the napkins and tells
me about the job he had working in a four star hotel when he was at
university. I dont believe half of the stories he tells me but it
unwinds me.
Lizzie and Tina arrive at 12.30 and Giles proudly shows them
round the house. Lizzie is particularly taken with his study.
You could do something like this in the office youre planning
in the apartment, Giles. Maybe not quite so masculine, because Jane
is going to use it too, but that room would take panelling.

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Despite my fears, lunch is edible. The cheese sauce for the

cauliflower doesnt go lumpy and the chicken is cooked. Giles cant
resist saying I told you so wretched man! Tina insists on helping
me with the washing up as Giles talks to Lizzie in the lounge.
That was really tasty, Jane. Well done. Its not easy cooking in
a kitchen youre not used to. Though I have to say this one is rather
well laid out and equipped. Mind you, when men do something like
this they either cock it up completely or make a brilliant job of it.
She said as she wipes up the dishes, somehow managing to peep into
every cupboard and drawer in the process.
I wash another plate and pile it onto the draining board.
It will be nice when you are at the apartment, Jane, you could
have Lizzie to dinner sometimes if you wanted to.
Yes, I could couldnt I?
And you for that matter, Tina.
Youre very much one of the family!
Thats kind, Jane. I appreciate that, thanks. She said and I
realise that there is a lot I dont know about Tina.
Well, it would be only fair, our moving in has made a lot more
work for you, Im sure, and its reasonable that we take some of the
load off you occasionally.
We spend the afternoon sitting in the lounge chatting about
everything and nothing. A couple of times I catch Giles eye and we
smile at each other. Its very comfortable. As we stand at the door
waving them goodbye, Giles with his arm round my waist, I heave a
great sigh of contentment.
Happy now? he asked and I nod.
Yes. I think that went well, dont you?
Very well Lizzie was saying how pleased she is to see you so
settled here. He replied as we go back across the hallway to the
lounge. When I think of the state she was in when I told her we had
found you
Oh?
Well, shed talked to Dad about the possibility of finding you
just after Ellie was born. In fact, I think it was something Alastair
said which set her off. Dad had dug through the records in the file
relating to the agreement and found your fathers address. It was at
that stage he handed it over to me. I had a chat with one of our family

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law people and found out who they use to track people we
frequently have to find absconding fathers for maintenance purposes
and use a very discreet firm of private detectives. All we had was that
old address and your name and date of birth. Not a lot to go on. Of
course, the address wasnt much good as theyd moved since the
agreement and both of them were dead anyway. We did track down
the address they last lived in though and the detective went to talk to
the neighbours. One of them spoke of you and mentioned that you
lived in Taunton working for a large firm out on the Blackbrook estate
and that gave him a lead. A Mrs Spiggot, I remember, the name stuck
in my head.
Oh Auntie Fan! She was a sweetie, Giles. Always helping out
and I dont know how I would have managed with mum without her
help. Yes, she would have known where I was working.
Unfortunately, she couldnt remember the name of the
company. The electoral register wasnt a lot of help either it only
showed the address you had before the flat but at least it showed you
existed in the area. Your old landlord had no idea where youd gone
which wasnt a lot of help either. Do you know how many firms
operate on the Blackbrook estate?
The detective trawled through
half of them before he found you. Once hed got that far, I think he
chatted up the receptionist to get an idea of where you lived
something like that anyway. The information about you turned up on
my desk in July. I took it round to Lizzie myself.
What did she say?
She was very nervous, Jane. I suppose she had worked herself
up to fever pitch about the whole thing and then it was suddenly real.
Then I showed her the photo.
Photo?
Ah, I never mentioned that when I interviewed you, did I? Do
you remember when the company opened that new depot? There was
a big spread in the paper and one of the photos showed you with
Matthew? Well we got a copy from the newspaper. Lizzie burst into
tears. The thought that you would take after her could look like
her well, it had just never occurred to her. She didnt know what
to do. She didnt want to go wading into your life if you were set up
and happy and yet on the other hand desperately wanted to meet you.

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I offered to find out what your situation was, which was when we
found out about your problem. That took a few weeks it was the
summer and people were on holiday. So it was September by the
time that I was able to give Lizzie the low down. That did it for her
you were struggling and she couldnt stand by, so she instructed me to
I write to you. And the rest you know.
Giles, what did you think when you first met me? I asked
watching his smile deepen as he gazes into space for a moment.
It was odd, Jane. On the one hand you are so like Lizzie that I
felt I knew you and on the other, you didnt know me from Adam.
You were a feisty creature at that interview, Jane, I knew you had
bugger all in your purse yet you fought me on every turn about
money. I remember I had the devils own job getting you to take that
cash. Lizzie would have had my guts for garters if I had let you go
away without it. He chuckled and the colour in his cheeks deepened.
But even then I knew I wanted to get to know you better. I think Dad
put his finger on it the first time he met you, he said you were a
fighter in need of some TLC.
It all seems so very long ago now. I cant imagine what it was
like not knowing you. Odd isnt it?
What are you doing tomorrow, Jane? Ive got to be at the
office good and early - so Ill need to get the early train again.
I havent ironed you a shirt yet! Come and talk to me while I
do that, Giles.
I can iron my own shirts, you know!
Yes, but I want to do it foolish woman that I am!
That made him laugh and while I go and get the ironing board
out he runs upstairs to fetch some shirts may as well do a more than
one while I am at it.
Im quite happy to do them if you like, Jane. He offered again,
but I wont give way.
I dont tell him that I get a kick out of ironing his shirts though
that would be going a little too far.
As to what tomorrow holds. Im going dress hunting with
Lizzie I need something for our party, then were going to Sallys
for drinks tomorrow night.

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Okay, well toss up for who drinks and who drives shall we?
You drove on Friday night and I drove last night.
Didnt you have any wine last night?
No stuck to the grape juice.
Oh, I didnt realise. Sounds fair to me. I replied Im not
fussed either way.
Sleep at the apartment tomorrow?
I think so, dont you Giles? Then well stay over there until
Christmas morning I know Lizzie wants us to go to the midnight
service with her but it means well have to cart all the Christmas
presents with us though maybe if we come here after work
tomorrow then you can collect anything you want to take. Would that
work? Alternatively, we come back here tomorrow after Sallys and
we take all the stuff over to Lizzie House on Tuesday after you have
finished work. Oh dear this isnt as simple as I thought!
Mmmm, he gave the matter a moments thought. I reckon it
would be better to come back here like you say that might be
better. Ill have to give you a ring as to what time train Ill be getting
on Tuesday, Jane. We finish at lunchtime but Ive got some odd bits
of shopping to finish. Oh, Jane, it is complicated!
I know, but it gets easier after that. Stick that on a hanger, will
you, Giles? I said, handing him a shirt I have just ironed.
Why did they call you that? I asked as I start on the second
shirt. Is it a family name or something?
What oh the Giles bit? he chuckled, No, not at all. My
mother was a terrible snob, Jane, and desperately wanted to restore
her standing with the family. As I told you, she adored Dad, so she
was torn two ways. Anyway, she chose Giles, thinking it was
sufficiently upmarket to raise the tone of the family generally. The
irony of it is that, some years ago, I found a book on names and
looked it up Giles comes from the Celtic for humility or servant
now I find that amusing.
Rather apt though after all a solicitor is a servant of the law.
Lizzie is a great believer that names confer characteristics I asked
her why she called me Jane the other day. I said, going on to explain
Lizzies reasoning.
Yes, that sounds like Lizzie! he said affectionately.

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35.

CHRISTMAS

Walking into church at eleven fifteen on a wintry Tuesday night

is a strange experience.
But it had been a strange evening knowing I had to stay up
was so difficult; I was yawning by nine thirty, when other evenings I
dont think anything of staying up until eleven. Despite that, wed
had a delightfully peaceful evening, just sitting with Lizzie and Tina
chatting in the Pink Room. Absolute bliss, after all the chasing
around and rush of the last couple of days.
Id gone out with Lizzie and Tina on Monday looking for a
dress to wear to our party next week; the town was heaving with
people and Tina and I had to get quite shirty with people who
wouldnt make room for the wheelchair. Lizzie was all for just
charging through people who persisted in rudely standing in the way
after being politely asked to let us through but, although it was a
tempting thought, we decided it wasnt a good idea. Id found a dress
in the third shop a delightful shade of green and right up to the
moment and my strappy black shoes will go with it so thats one less
thing to worry about. Relief all round I may be like Lizzie in lots
of ways but I do not share her pleasure in spending hours trailing
round dress shops looking for the sartorial equivalent of the holy
grail.
Drinks with Sally and Gary turned into a bit of a free-for-all.
We started off normally enough, sitting in her lounge chatting, then
the young people invaded and challenged us oldies to a game of
killer scrabble. Jake was with them, evening up the numbers, and,
although I thought at first this would be pretty boring, I was soon
proved wrong. Giles (his many years of being one of a large family
standing him in good stead), Gary and Sally (whove obviously see
this scenario before) rose to the challenge with enthusiasm, with me
following slightly bemused. It may have been the fact that the wine
was flowing and we were all in a slightly excitable state due to the
proximity of Christmas, but very soon, we were all hard at it. I
daresay the OED would be amazed at some of the words which ended
up on that board, but as long as the person putting the tiles down
could come up with a lucid and reasonable meaning, it was allowed.
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With two legal men on the team, it was manic! Katie just gave up and
rolled round the floor with laughter, much to Jakes amusement, but
regardless of this, the two teams finished with only five points
between them.
The church is nearly full.
My arm tucked into Giless, we follow Lizzie and Tina up the
aisle to find somewhere to sit. Alastair is playing the organ tonight
and I can see Jo sitting up in the choir stalls is she singing tonight or
just sitting there to keep Alastair company?
Glancing round the church, I see Sally and the girls oh and
theres Gary whos the blonde with them I wonder. Oh yes, Sally
mentioned that Garys sister was staying with them for Christmas. I
nudge Giles, and point out a tall, grey haired man sitting behind Sally,
who looks just like an older version of Alastair .
Do you think thats Alastairs father?
I see Jake going to sit next to him yes, it must be.
I get a warm smile from Mrs Stubbs from the salon and Jessie as
well, but Tilly isnt here, I expect shes at home with her little boy.
The service starts. I still dont know my way round the communion
service but Im getting better. Just for a change, the hymns are ones I
know the Christmas carols I sang at school. Even over the massed
voices of the congregation, I can hear Jos voice soaring.
Singlehandedly, she sings the descants, her voice swelling to enfold
us all, the top notes flying away into the rafters of the old building.
Theres a warm, joyful feeling to the church tonight, everyones
smiling and theres a tense excitement in the air. Peters sermons
about how we happily accept the concept of the baby Jesus being born
in a stable and think it romantic and sweet but how the reality was far
from that. He speaks about Marys situation a young woman giving
birth to her first child with only Joseph to help the fears and pain
she must have known, of Josephs worry and then goes on to say
that the whole Christian story is real in just the same way that the
message of Christmas is that God is here in it with us here, in the real
world, not some airy fairy pretend place. Im looking forward to
meeting up with Peter in the New Year were going to have some
interesting conversations, I think.

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While the congregation slowly files up to receive communion,

Jo sings. Standing waiting in the queue between the choir stalls,
hymn book in my hand so that the vicar will know I only qualify for a
blessing, I watch the rapport between her and Alastair. Jos totally
taken up in what shes singing but Alastairs eyes flicker between the
music and watching her in the mirror above the organ console,
constantly matching his playing with her singing, almost breathing
with her. Im so taken up watching them, that Giles has to give me a
poke in the back when it is time for me to move forward to the altar
rail.
Back at Lizzies, we all go up to the Pink Room where Lizzie
carefully places the wooden figure of the baby in the crib. Theres no
reason why it should be an emotional event, but it is and, while
handing Lizzie a tissue, I find there are tears standing in my own
eyes. We have a quiet nightcap together then go off to our respective
rooms.
That was a lovely service, Giles said with a satisfaction, as he
sits on the bed taking his shoes off. A wonderful start to Christmas.
Mmmmm, isnt Jos voice wonderful? The way she and
Alastair work together is amazing to watch.
Yes, I thought youd got glued to the spot, you daft woman!
Holding up the traffic like that, if I hadnt nudged you on, youd be
standing there still!
Just as well Ive got you to keep an eye on me then, isnt it? I
replied, refusing to be drawn.
When I wake, Giles is just beginning to stir. A quick glance at
the clock tells me it is not quite eight thirty brilliant!
Moving carefully, so as not to wake him totally, I slide out of
bed and reach for my dressing gown. Weve arranged to meet in
Lizzies room at nine thirty for breakfast and presents, but I think he d
prefer to open some of the things I have for him in private. Ive got
his cufflinks wrapped separately to give him over breakfast. I draw
back the curtains and let in the December sunshine, then I sit at the
dressing table and comb my hair.
Hearing a slight noise behind me, I turn to see Giles leaning up
on one elbow watching me with a smile.

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Merry Christmas, Miss Mortimer. He said making to get out

of bed.
Merry Christmas to you to, Mr Brewster. Stay put a moment.
I replied, jumping up quickly.
Looking slightly surprised, he covers himself with the duvet
again and waits to see what I want.
Father Christmas waylaid me yesterday, Giles, and asked me to
give this to you. It seems hes confused by the fact that we keep
moving around. I said, laying the stocking on top of the duvet where
he can reach it I managed to get a fabric stocking and have
embroidered his name on it I can use it again next year now
thats a lovely thought!
Did he now? Giles replied, holding his arms out towards me,
Come here and kiss me, Jane.
He moves over, making room for me to sit on the side of the bed
and proceeds to open his presents. Theyre only little things but he
seems to like them. The sexy knickers go down very well and he
carefully puts the voucher on one side with the comment that he will
look forward to reclaiming that in full. He flicks through the book of
legal jokes, grinning at what he reads and is pleased with the mug
promising that hell take it to work with him, reminding me that he
still has the wooden statue I gave him on his desk. In the toe of the
stocking, Ive put some chocolates and a miniature bottle of scotch.
With a satisfied sigh, he surveys the heap of things now littering the
bed.
Jane, thank you that was a delightful thought. You are an
absolute darling, did you know?
Well, this man I know keeps telling me something like that, so
Im sort of getting the idea, now, Giles. I replied very seriously, but
collapse in loud giggles as he tickles me. Get off! Giles! We
ought to get moving, Giles. I said when I can breath again. Its
nearly nine fifteen and although I understand that dressing gowns will
be the order of the day over breakfast, wed still better turn up with
clean faces.
Carrying wrapped parcels, we meet Tina outside Lizzies room

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Merry Christmas, you two! Come on in, breakfast is on the

table.
Lizzie is sitting in bed with a beaming smile on her face. I
immediately go over to give her a big hug.
I thought I heard raucous laughter from you two. She said
with a wicked look, as Giles kisses her cheek. It must have been
loud for me to have heard it in here! I dont dare ask what you were
up to.
I was unwrapping my stocking, Lizzie. Giles said with a very
prim and proper expression on his face. and very nice it was too.
You got a stocking did you? Thank you, dear. she said, taking
the cup and saucer Tina is offering her, Father Christmas knows
where you live then?
Well, I understand from Jane that he was a little confused, and
gave it to her to pass on, Lizzie, sad to think the old man is losing it
after all these centuries. He replied helping himself to coffee and
toast.
He gave me one for you too, Lizzie. I said, handing over a
similar package to the one which Giles had recently worked his way
through. and you, Tina. I reckon I should qualify for Christmas elf
status!
Giles and I munch on some toast and marmalade while the t wo
of them work their way through their stockings. I decided to do one
for Tina in the end she certainly seems to be enjoying it . the
appreciative chuckle when she unpacks a Maid of all Work mug
says it all really. Im feeling very pleased with myself.
More coffee, Giles? I offered, watching as Lizzie unwraps the
book of photos of me as a child. Ive put in short descriptions by the
photos so that she will understand whats going on and, as far as I can
remember, how old I was at the time the photo was taken.
Oh Jane! Giles, come and look at this!
Well I thought shed like it but, not this much The pair of
them sit there working through the book page by page exclaiming
over the photos and the text until I want to die of embarrassment.
Tina comes over and pours herself some coffee, her face showing
clearly how pleased she is with her gifts.
Jane, you are a sweetie, thank you so much for these presents.

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Glad you liked them, Tina. Youre so much part of the family,
it just seemed right. I replied giving her a quick hug.
Jane, this is the most wonderful gift thank you so much.
Lizzie exclaimed as Giles hands her a tissue, I shall treasure it.
After all this excitement, we have a short hiatus to eat and clear
some of the wrapping paper out of the way. Then the present giving
commences in earnest. One by one we exchange gifts, watching
while theyre unwrapped and exclaimed over. Knowing I want some
plants for our new abode, Tinas got me a couple of garden centre
vouchers I should be able to get a couple of Kentia palms with
those
I give Giles his cufflinks and wait to see what his reaction is
Giles, put her down, you lunatic! Lizzie called after he had
demonstrated exactly how pleased he was with them.
I take over the parcel I have yet to give Lizzie. Taking Bernies
suggestion, I had scoured the town for a suitable mother and child. I
didnt want something sentimental, that wouldnt be appropriate. In
the end, I found one which showed an adult woman who looked as
though she had some character, holding a small girl by the hand ... the
pair of them gazing ahead of them as though contemplating the future.
Its delicately carved in a light coloured wood and about six inches
tall. I told Giles what Id got for Lizzie and worried at him about it
last night, and while she unwraps it, he takes my hand. For a
moment, Lizzie surveys the statue in silence Oh shit! Ive got it
wrong! then with eyes shining, she turns to me.
Youve been talking to Bernie, Jane. She said, her face alight,
Thank you, Jane, thank you so much.
There are tears in my eyes as I run over to the bed and throw my
arms around her and we hug each other for several minutes.
Come on you two, talk about daft women! Giles said, handing
us both tissues something he has to do on a regrettably regular basis
this morning.
Dont you think it beautiful, Giles? Lizzie asked, gazing at her
present with obvious pleasure.
Yes, it is He said inspecting the carving, How they
achieved that expression on the faces, I dont know. Jane, you seem

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to have a talent for finding wooden carvings. But youve still got
some parcels to open.
Have I? I asked, following him back to where I was sitting.
Yes, Jane. Lizzie chipped in as Giles hands me a large
rectangular parcel wrapped in shimmering paper almost the same
colour as the evening dress I wore the other week.
This is from Lizzie. He said, as I rest it on the table to unwrap
it.
Amazingly its a poster sized copy of the painting downstairs.
Thank you, Lizzie, Its gorgeous Giles, can we hang it at Ivy
Lodge? Lizzie, however did you get a copy done? I asked,
inspecting it closely a real oil painting not a photograph as I first
thought.
Ah, that is for me to know and you to guess! she said
teasingly, but you havent opened the other package with it yet.
I turn to the other, smaller parcel and unwrap it. A jewellers
box inside lies a necklace it look familiar I glance at the
picture again yes, it is its the one in the picture delicate and
beautiful gold chain with crystals glittering from it.
Its one of the few things your father gave me, Jane. I thought
you ought to have it.
Giles picks it up and inspects it closely,
Thats unusual, Jane, its fifteen carat gold, gold usually comes
in nine, eighteen or twenty-one carats.
Thats right, Giles, its from South Africa, thats where the
diamonds came from too.
You mean theyre real diamonds! I exclaimed as Lizzie and
Giles look at each other and laugh, But
Yes, Jane. They are real diamonds and it is real gold. Giles
said patiently, wickedly enjoying my incredulity. Well have to get it
put on the insurance I dont suppose youve had it valued lately?
No, I thought that would be too much to ask! ... Its an antique
isnt it, Lizzie,
Yes, Giles, thats right, it belonged to Lillie Langtry. She had a
house in Bournemouth and gave it to one of her companions we
were playing down there for the summer season when it came up for
auction, I rather fancied it.

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A necklace given by a prince to his mistress one of the most

acclaimed actresses of her period and I am holding it in my hands
me Jane Mortimer
Giles, for goodness sake do something with the woman!
Lizzie said laughing at me.
Giles gently takes the necklace from my hands and puts it back
in its box. The wretched man is grinning at me.
And heres a little something from me, he said handing me a
small parcel wrapped in gold paper. Not nearly so exciting though,
Im afraid.
Inside are earrings - two sets for goodness sake! Diamonds
again to match my engagement ring theyll match the necklace too.
I detect a certain amount of collusion here. I said dashing over
to Lizzies dressing table so I can use the mirror to put them in. One
set are studs I can wear those everyday, the others are elegant long
dangly ones oh wow!
Giles, they are gorgeous.
Hes standing behind me watching me in the mirror in the
reflection, our eyes meet oh Giles.
Its nearly eleven by the time we finish in Lizzies room and
were supposed to be at Josephs for 12.30. Well have to dash. I
grab the shower first my hair takes longer to dry.
Giles has made the bed by the time I get back, and straightened
the room generally nice to have a man who is domesticated. By
twelve we are nearly ready me in my wine coloured skirt and
jumper and Giles, for a change, not wearing a suit and tie. Clutching
bags of gifts, we leap into Giles car. Tina will drive Lizzie over
Lizzie may need to come home early and was adamant that she didnt
want to drag us away from the party.
Im wearing my new diamond studs I pull down the sun visor
to look in the mirror they sparkle whenever I turn my head. Giles
chuckles.
You like them then?
Very much. Oh Giles, its been a wonderful Christmas Day.
The day is far from over yet, Jane.
Unsurprisingly, the roads are empty and we make good time,
arriving at Josephs house just before 12.30. There are several cars in

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the drive, one sporting child seats, obviously the rest of the siblings
are here.
Aunt Joan opens the door and greets us with a broad smile
Merry Christmas! Come on in its bedlam in there. She said
clearly delighted.
The lounge is full of people Sarah spots us as soon as we go
through the doorway and comes over, giving us both a hug and
wishing us a merry Christmas. Colin, who is on his hands and knees
with a small boy on his back, looks up and neighs at us Richard,
sitting on a sofa with his arm round a young woman I assume is his
wife, Cathy, waves. I cant see anyone who could be Colins wife
anywhere.
Jane, come and meet Cathy. Giles said, as Colin explains that
Bellas changing Thomas upstairs.
Cathy is a pleasant looking woman, with short dark blonde hair
and blue eyes. She says shes been looking forward to meeting me.
We wives have to stick together, Jane, this mad crowd are
enough to drive anyone crackers!
Joseph comes bustling over and gives me a hug, offering me a
drink I explain that Giles and I tossed for who drives home and I
lost a glass of wine with my dinner will be my little lot today.
Come and say hello to Auntie Jane, Joe, Colin says from
behind me hes stopped being a horse now.
Very seriously, Joe holds out his hand to shake hands.
Nice to meet you, Joe. I reply to this serious little boy who is
so very like a mini Giles. Happy Christmas to you.
Dont say it! Giles said from behind me, as I opened my
mouth to comment on the likeness, Were two of a kind, arent we,
Joe? he said lifting the boy up so they are face to face.
Me and Uncle Giles are like that! Joe said gleefully, knotting
his hands together tightly.
Dont teach him any more bad habits, Giles, theres a love.
Said a deep voice from the doorway, I turn to see a large motherly
woman holding a baby. Shes a total contrast to Cathy dark haired,
brown eyed and comfortable where Cathy is blonde and has an air of
efficiency about her. It took me ages to stop him blowing raspberries
at everyone.

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Bella, come and meet Jane. Colin said, drawing her over to
where we are standing. Jane, meet my rock and my defence. He
said affectionately, one arm round her plainly, he adores her.
Bella gives him the baby and holds both hands out to me.
Jane, lovely to meet you. I hope you and Giles will be very
happy together.
Lunch, people! Aunt Joan announces from the doorway
Lizzie and Tina are in the hallway behind her.
Joe rushes past his great aunt and has to be called back by his
mother to go and wash his hands, which gives the rest of us a chance
to get ourselves organised. Im put between Giles and Sarah with
Colin and Bella opposite. Joe is next to Giles and the baby, Thomas,
is in a high chair next to his mother at the end of the table. Joseph,
naturally is at the head.
Does Aunt Joan need any help, I said quietly to Sarah
wondering if I should go and offer to carry dishes.
Heavens, no! Youd be shot down in flames, Jane. Tinas the
only one shell allow to help her. Mind you, when it comes to the
washing up, thats a different story.
It is, as I had anticipated, a noisy and rumbustuous meal. We
start with crackers oddly enough Thomas doesnt react to the bangs
but sits in his high chair beaming happily at everyone though out the
mayhem. Joseph issues a diktat that paper hats have to be worn on
pain of forfeit and Giles has to help Joe fold his so it will stay on his
little head. Throughout the meal, Giles comes into for a certain
amount of gentle teasing from the twins which, Sarah informs me, has
been the case for as long as she can remember. Joe enters the fray,
taking his Uncle Giles part and getting a verbal trouncing from his
father for being a turncoat as a result which only makes the child
more determined to support his beleaguered uncle.
Sarah tells me that shes met a new guy Mark she met him in
the supermarket of all places hes an architect and theyve been
out four times.
Its very early days yet, Jane, hes getting over a broken
relationship too, but its looking quite good at the moment.
Im pleased for you, Sarah. Whats he doing for New Year?
I dont know.

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Why not invite him to the party? We can find him a bed for the
night.
She tells me that shell text him and see what he says.
The meals a traditional Christmas one turkey and all the
trimmings. While we eat it, Richard does his best to get out of Lizzie
what she is intending to feed everyone tomorrow. Sarah explains that,
by longstanding family tradition, whoever does Boxing Day serves
something totally different from the turkey on Christmas Day. Lizzie
is refusing to tell though, just sitting there with that wicked twinkle
going full belt. Joseph tells me that in the past they have had full
Chinese meals, Arabian feasts and even a vegetarian extravaganza on
one occasion.
The pudding is cheered as Aunt Joan brings it in blazing with a
blue flame and Thomas gets quite excited at the sight. Hes a lovely
looking baby, a little older than Ellie totally different from his
brother, much more like Sarah in looks.
Hes a sweetie, isnt he? I said to Sarah, passing her the
brandy sauce to put on her pudding.
Who? Oh Thomas. Yes, hes an absolute darling. Its such a
pity but Bellas doing terrific things.
Seeing my puzzled look, a flash of something passes across her
face.
You dont know, do you? Thomas is deaf.
I glance across at the child sitting happily trying to spoon his
pudding into his mouth, Bella helping him. No wonder he didnt
jump when the crackers were pulled.
Bellas determined it wont affect his chances of as normal a
life as possible and is teaching him sign language already. Hes very
good at it. Theyve got him down for a special school where he will
learn to adapt as much as possible. Thats partly why Joe is so
attached to Giles. When Thomas was born, Joe came down to stay
with Giles. Giles took a month off work to look after him.
I glance at the man on my left, engrossed in talking to his
nephew, no, that doesnt surprise me very much.
Glasses of champagne are passed around at the end of the meal,
and Joseph talks me into having half a one, well, it will be several
hours before I have to drive us home. Standing, he raises his glass

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and gives us a toast of Merry Christmas. As I sit down, I catch his

eye and he raises his glass to me the darling that he is!
The men disappear into the lounge with the children after dinner
and we women start clearing the table. In the kitchen, a large, very
well equipped room I havent seen before, were all allocated jobs by
Aunt Joan in sergeant major mode. Im issued with a tea towel and
detailed to wipe up as Bella washes. Sarah is to put away and Cathy
is to keep the dirty dishes coming. It is rather fun everyone is
chatting and laughing and we get through the work in no time at all.
When I think of the dreary Christmases I used to have with my
parents the monosyllabic conversation watching the same TV
programmes in semi-silence
When we go back into the lounge, Im surprised to see that the
men have been busy in our absence, moving the pile of presents from
under the tree in the corner of the room into the centre of the carpet.
The seating is arranged in a circle round the exciting heap which Joe
is eyeing impatiently. Giles pats the seat beside him and puts an arm
round me as I sit down. Everyone settles down as Joseph and Joe
take the stage. Joseph picking out parcels and handing them to Joe to
distribute. Thomas is given the first one and, with his mothers help,
manages to tear off the paper hes less interested in what is inside
than in the paper itself!
Next, Joe staggers across to Giles with a large box. I see Colin
and Richard exchange grins what have those two organised?
Everyone stops to see what Giles has been given. He opens it very
gingerly, blatantly expecting the worst.
Under the wrapping paper the box has been labelled very clearly
COMPLETE KIT FOR THE ENGAGED MAN with a despairing
glance in my direction, he starts opening it. The box contains several
small, separately wrapped parcels The first one is fairly innocuous
a little book entitled 101 Excuses To Use When Late Home From
Work. But the Karma Sutra tea towel has everyone rubber necking
to see whats on it. Sarah and Cathy whip it away to have a good
look, and giggle quietly in a corner while Giles unwraps a large tub of
body chocolate. By this time Colin and Richard are openly enjoying
Giles embarrassment and I dont know where to put myself. But it
gets worse, the next parcel reveals a chart of a nubile woman with

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labels giving recommendations as to what the engaged man should

do with each part There is one pointing to the mouth which says
Feed Regularly but thats about the only one which is appropriate to
mention in the company of children. At the bottom of the box is a toy
whip and a pair of handcuffs with the label for those playful
moments. That is so over the top that I burst out laughing meeting
Giles rueful glance over the top of the box. However, in the spirit of
the thing, he rises to his feet and thanks his brothers for their kind
thought, saying that he and I would find it very educational working
through the various items. I could have done without him passing me
the tub of body chocolate at that moment with an instruction to read
the directions carefully, but the rest of the company fall about with
laughter. Ill deal with Giles later!
Im delighted and touched by the generosity of the family to me
after all, they hardly know me. Sarahs obviously been talking to
Giles a parcel from her reveals a new hair dryer. Aunt Joan, in
motherly mode, gives me a photo of Giles in a silver frame. He
groans when he sees it, but Im delighted with it as she knew I would
be. I was nervous opening the gifts from Colin and Richard, but it
seems that their wit and mischief is reserved for their older brother
knowing that we are setting up home at the apartment, they and their
families give me a cafetiere together with a supply of different types
of ground coffee and some wine glasses.
Joseph gives me his present himself, which surprises me. It is a
obviously a DVD of some sort but when I open it up I find something
I had never dreamed possible.
Oh Joseph, you havent! Lizzie cries as I unwrap it.
With a grin exactly like his son at his worst, he admits that yes,
he has. I am puzzled until I read the label which has been put in the
cover.
Before Lizzie retired, Jane, she performed at the Assembly
Rooms for a special charity fund raiser for the hospice. I filmed it
Ive had it gone over technically and transferred onto a DVD for you
I thought you might like to see what your mother was like as a
performer when she was not much older than you.

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Oh Joseph, thats wonderful. I said hugging the disc to my

chest, then putting it down on the table beside me, I throw my arms
round him.
Thats the wrong Brewster, youve got there, Jane! Giles
protested gently, raising a laugh from his brothers.
No, its not! his father retorted I told you Id cut you out if I
could, Giles!
Just to confuse me, they both hold out hankies for me. With a
smile to Joseph, I take Giles.
Oh well, it was nice while it lasted!
Joseph sighed
dramatically, making me laugh nearly as loudly as Lizzie.
Its teatime by the time weve finished unwrapping parcels and
got all the paper cleared away; while Tina and Sarah go off to help
Aunt Joan get tea ready, the rest of us just sit and chat in small
groups: Lizzie chatting to Bella and cuddling Thomas, Joe, on his
Uncle Giles lap, almost daring me to compete for his attention. The
twins are in a corner talking to each other Sarah mentioned during
dinner how much they make the most of these gatherings to catch up
on each other.
Youve got to be very nice to Auntie Jane, Joe. She knows
where the ice cream is kept, you know. Giles said.
Joe looks at me measuringly as though trying to assess whether
this is the truth or not.
All right. He said finally. Is that a picture of you Auntie
Jane? he asked, pointing to the diagram which forms part of Giles
present from his brothers.
I hear a badly smothered giggle from Colin.
No, not exactly, Joe. I replied, my hand itching to throw a
cushion at the childs father, Its a joke.
Joes face expresses clearly his opinion of such obscure grown
up behaviour and he very sensibly changes the subject and starts
telling us about his school.
Giles, has Sarah told you about her new man? I asked quietly
after Joe is finally tempted away to explore some of his new toys with
his father and his uncle Richard.
No. Do tell. Giles replied, laying his arm along the back of
the sofa, his hand gently touching my shoulder.

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She met him in the supermarket yes, I know but shes

been out with him a few times and it seems to be going well. Hes not
long had a relationship crash on him too so I think theyre taking
things slowly. I hope its okay but I suggested that she invite him to
the party we could put him up if necessary, couldnt we?
Yes, of course, what does he do? Did she say?
Hes an architect. Sarah, Im just telling Giles about Mark.
I said as she comes to join us on the sofa.
Its a bit of a squeeze but we can just about get in. It means I
have to snuggle up to Giles what a hardship, that is.
Met over the frozen peas, did you? Giles said teasingly.
No, baked beans actually. She replied with a grin. I knocked
over a display of tins and he very kindly helped to pick them up. Ive
sent him a text message suggesting the party, Giles, hes going to let
me know.
By seven thirty, Lizzie is flagging so Tina takes her home.
Tomorrows going to be another tiring day for Lizzie and she had a
late night last night as well.
I spend an interesting hour sitting talking to Bella about Thomas
and the sign language shes teaching him. He hasnt gone to bed yet
and she demonstrates how it works, teaching me some of the hand
movements. Its fascinating seeing him respond.
Do they know what caused the deafness? I asked her,
encouraged by her openness and willingness to discuss the problem.
They think its probably a hereditary problem, Jane. My
mother is deaf in one ear and always has been and her father before
her, so they think that it is a genetic thing where the auditory nerve
doesnt develop properly.
It must have been a horrible shock for you and Colin, Bella.
Yes, it was you dont think of something like that. You
worry about all the usual things, deformity, ment al impairment but
deafness I felt horribly guilty at first, feeling it was my fault and it
kicked me into a nasty dose of post natal depression. But that passes,
thank goodness, and you pick yourself up and get on with it theres
no choice and Thomas is a cheerful little chap. But enough of that,
when are you and Giles planning on getting married, Jane?

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Weve set a date for the 8 th February, Bella. Thats as far as

weve got so far Christmas sort of got in the way!
Ill make a note of it, Jane. Thats Giles birthday isnt it?
And mine.
I glance over to where Giles is talking to the twins and wonder if
hes asked them about the best man role yet.
At least he wont have an excuse to forget your birthday, Jane!
Bella commented
I wonder how many times Im going to hear that remark all
ready it is starting to pall.
Sarah and I wash up the tea things together Bellas putting the
children to bed and Cathys helping Aunt Joan clear up the dining
room. The men have disappeared into Josephs study.
Sarah, weve set the wedding date for the 8 th February would
you be a bridesmaid?
I feel awkward asking her, after all I dont know her very well,
but I neednt have worried her beaming smile and emphatic Id be
delighted say it all.
Have you given any thought to a wedding dress yet, Jane? she
asked handing me a glass bowl to wipe up.
No, we havent got any further than the date yet.
Mmmmmm she said, looking at me critically, Youve got a
lovely figure, Jane. Talk to Lizzie her taste is impeccable. How are
things going? It cant be easy living in two different places.
Weve had our moments, but overall its okay. Once weve got
the apartment up and running, itll be a lot easier; Im rapidly coming
to the conclusion that two of everything is going to be the only
answer. It just seems so extravagant.
Giles said you were having trouble getting your head round the
fact that hes not short of a penny or two. I can understand that. But
let him spoil you a little, Jane. He gets so much pleasure out of it.
What did he give you for Christmas?
I show her my earrings and, of course, that leads onto the
necklace which Lizzie gave me.
Wow! Ive seen that it is absolutely beautiful, Jane; with the
association with Lillie Langtry, its worth a small fortune I hope
Giles is going to get it valued properly.

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Youre joking! I know it is valuable but good grief, I cant

wear something like that! I said, shocked.
Nonsense, Jane. Sarah said, sounding just like her older
brother, Whats the point of locking it away and never wearing it? In
fact, you should wear it at the party its a black tie do and diamonds
would look right what are you going to wear?
Ive got a new dress, Lizzie and I went out and bought it on
Monday its got a fairly low cut neckline oh
She laughed.
I think youve been set up. Theres no way youre going to get
away with not wearing that necklace now. Dont worry, Jane, youll
get used to the fact that this family does that sort of thing.
What sort of thing? Giles asked, coming into the kitchen.
Havent you finished the washing up yet?
When he has disentangled himself from the wet tea towel I
throw at him, he goes on with dignity.
Were talking weddings upstairs, Jane.
We were talking about Jane wearing her new necklace for your
party and how Lizzie has ensured that the dress shes going to wear
will accommodate it. Sarah explained, Jane was bothered about
wearing something so valuable.
You daft woman! What do you think you are going to do, lock
it away in a safe for ever? Of course, youre going to wear it. He
takes my hand, Come on, youre wanted upstairs.
Sarah says shell stay and finish off in the kitchen, which means
that Giles and I get a few moments to ourselves on the stairs leading
to the ground floor. We make good use of them, which fact does not
escape Colin who comments on people canoodling in the hallway as
we walk into the lounge. Without missing a step, Giles stoops on his
way across the room, picks up a cushion and shies it with great
accuracy at his brother. As though nothing has happened, Richard
immediately tells me that Giles has asked him and Colin to be his best
man or should it be best men? There appears to be no reason why
they cant share the role.
Discussion takes place on the subject of who should be invited,
where were having the reception with everyone chipping in with
suggestions and counter-suggestions. Giles neatly puts an end to the

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incipient argument by saying that the reception will be at Lizzie

House thats already been decided. Lizzie will open up the music
room and well have it there. This is news to me but Im all in
favour.
Joseph offers to co-ordinate the invitations with backing from
Aunt Joan after all, its not as though I have anything in the way of
family to be invited. I agree to let him know anyone I particularly
want to invite.
Colin starts speculating with Richard on where we are going for
our honeymoon some of their suggestions are very funny and I
cant help giggling, which gets me a glare from my beloved. They do
it to wind him up and he jumps every time silly sod!
Sarahs agreed to be my bridesmaid, Giles. I announced trying
to change the subject. Bella, would Joe be a page boy? Id love to
have him but only if hed like it.
Hell jump at it, Jane. Hes loves dressing up and performing.
If it were possible for genes to jump across from one person to
another, Id say he took after Lizzie!
By ten oclock, were ready to head for home. Gathering all our
presents together, we kiss everyone goodnight and, with me at the
wheel, drive off. I get lost somewhere in Clifton, but Giles rescues
me before we go too far out of our way and, the traffic still being
light, we get back to Lizzie House in good time.
The house is quiet, so, assuming that everyone has gone to bed,
we go up to our room. Carefully, turning off all the lights as we have
been taught.
The box holding my necklace is on the dressing table. I open it
to have another look.
It is beautiful, Giles. I said, holding it up and watching the
diamonds sparkle in the light. To think that a prince bought it for the
woman he loved.
He couldnt have loved her any more than I love you, Jane.
My unemotional, non-demonstrative fianc said quietly, folding his
trousers and putting them on a hanger.
We stare at each other across the room. I see his lips twitch
slightly as he watches a tear slide down the side of my nose. Two
paces gets him to my side, tissue in hand,

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Now what are you crying about? he said barely covering his
amusement.
Just being so happy, Giles, Ive never been so loved before
its all a little much to take. I said, clinging to him and revelling in
the feel of his arms around me.
We stand like that for several minutes.
Now about this diagram, Colin and Richard gave me, Jane. I
reckon we need to work through it a little. he whispered making me
giggle. Thats better take me to bed, you daft woman! Theres one
Christmas present I havent given you yet.
*****
Standing in the shower at an absurdly late hour of the morning, I
reflect on how marvellous itll be not having to drive anywhere today
I seem to have spent an awful lot of the last week dashing from
one place to another. To think that only a few months ago I regarded
driving a car with wistful longings you silly woman, Jane! I
remember Anna saying how much she was missing being behind a
wheel dont know that Id want to drive in Italy though. The
waters hot and I close my eyes, lifting my face to the flow of water
and revelling in the sheer gorgeousness of it.
A banging on the door soon brings me to my senses. Giles is
yelling rude comments through the door about people who hog the
bathroom first thing in the morning.
Obviously spending the day
with his siblings yesterday has had a detrimental effect on him.
Locking me out now are you? he said belligerently but with a
grin when I open the door to him. I dont know, were not even
married yet and youre getting funny with me.
I yelp as he tickles me, the towel round my hair falling off and
adding to my difficulties he seems to have hands everywhere!
Giles! I panted, trying to keep out of his reach t he
bathrooms a decent size but trying to evade Giles in playful mode in
here is not easy not many places to take refuge. I didnt mean to
must have locked it on automatic. I apologised breathlessly firmly
encased in his embrace.

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Forfeits must be paid, my lady! he announced with a grin,

kissing me its only the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs
which prevents me from finding out what making love on the
bathroom floor is like
Leaving Giles in possession of the bathroom and doing my
dressing gown up again, I go out into the hallway to see Tina just
about to knock on our bedroom door shes carrying a tray of coffee
and toast.
Tina, you didnt have to bring that up Im sure youve got
more than enough to do this morning. I exclaimed holding the door
open for her.
Oh, its no great bother, Jane. Id rather not have people
cluttering up the kitchen at the moment.
Is there anything I can do to help? I asked clearing the table a
little so she can put the tray down.
We just dumped stuff on it when we came in last night.
I dont think so, Jane, but if I need help Ill ask. The only thing
I can think of if you could keep Lizzie occupied? Once Ive got
her up and dressed, shell be like a cat on hot bricks.
What time are people arriving? Ive got a very shaky idea of
what is actually happening today.
Lunch is at 1.30, Jane, and weve asked people to arrive
sometime between 12.30 and one therell be drinks in the Pink
Room. Apart from Joseph and his contingent, were expecting Bernie
and the vicar and his wife. Lizzie invariably has them over on Boxing
Day when were here.
The thought of Bernie, Lizzie and Aunt Joan all in one room is
rather stunning, to say the least.
Im still musing on that thought,
munching on a piece of toast when Giles comes in from the bathroom.
Whats up? he said, helping himself to a gulp of coffee as he
goes past the table. You look a little worried.
No, not really Im just contemplating the thought of a room
containing your Aunt Joan, Bernie Rivers and Lizzie. Not sure I
wont need the mental equivalent of sunglasses!
At least you wont have the Tweedledee effect to take into
account. Giles commented, digging through his underwear drawer
looking for a matching pair of socks.

385

What is it about men and socks?

No, itll be strange seeing Richard without Colin. Have they
always been like this?
Oh they used to be worse than this, Jane, as teenagers they were
murder. I still shudder at the memory of the first time I brought a girl
home. You cant even begin to imagine what they were like.
Didnt you get your own back when they started going out with
girls?
Jane, I make allowances for that fact that you are an only child
it doesnt work like that! Not in my family anyway. He helps
himself to a piece of toast.
He munches it while putting on his trousers I suppose I ought
to get dressed myself.
Cathy was very quiet yesterday, Jane. Did you get a chance to
talk to her at all?
No isnt she usually quiet?
No, shes usually pretty bubbly. Richard didnt say anything
see if you can find out whats wrong, Jane.
While I dress, I ponder Giles and his position in the family. I
know first hand that hes a firm believer in hands-on help and what
Sarah told me yesterday about him taking care of Joe when Thomas
was born underlines that. For that matter, he dropped everything
when Sarah was in a state recently. It strikes me that theres another
side to this bossy big brother business.
Giles, Tina has asked if we can occupy Lizzie until lunchtime
everythings in hand food-wise but it would help Tina if we can keep
Lizzie out of her hair.
Not a problem, Jane. How about taking her out in the
wheelchair? Its a nice day and some fresh air would probably do us
all good. Theres a fairly level stroll up to the Cotswold way from
here we could go up there.
It turns into a manic enterprise Giles had reckoned without
the mud we encountered once we were off the pavement and onto the
gravelled path. There are patches where the gravel has been kicked
up and the recent rain has made some very sticky areas. However,
with two of us pushing, and Lizzie laughing her head off, we manage.
Its rather fun actually.

386

Tina produces coffee and biscuits for us when we get back and
we sit in the Pink Room, all rosy and glowing after our exercise. My
comment that this is vastly different from any Christmas I have ever
known, results in Lizzie and Giles asking me what I usually do.
Well, I used to go home when the parents were alive and wed
sit around watching TV. It seems like light years away from here
After mum died, I got involved in one of the Homeless at Christmas
organisations I didnt fancy sitting on my own being festive, though
last year, I did spend it on my own; I ignored the festivities and buried
myself in a reading a series I was keen on at the time and going for
long walks.
I cant imagine what it must be like. Giles said slowly, Only
being you. That was one thing that leapt up and hit me between the
eyes when I heard you were ill. Youd mentioned that your one fear
was being seriously ill once when we were talking, Jane, and I tried to
visualise what it would be like not having anyone wholl notice
youre poorly and do something about it. It was a truly nasty
exercise.
But youve always had people to call on, Giles. Lizzie pointed
out If youve never had that, you dont realise there is any other way
to be.
With fragmented families and so many people living on their
own these days, its a general problem, Giles. We dont even know
our neighbours these days. I pointed out. What did you used to do
when you were working, Lizzie?
Oh Christmas was panto time, Jane. We worked very hard
through the whole of December and January, sometimes even longer
than that. It was fun though you were part of the team and social
life was integral with that. Some people would try to get home to see
family but most of us didnt have that option at most wed have a
day off if there was no show on Christmas Day but travelling was
difficult if you had far to go and, anyway, it was rather good just
doing nothing. It goes without saying, that few of the cast were
married with families it doesnt go with the job very well.
Joseph and his cohorts arrive just before 12.30 - Joseph
squeezing Aunt Joan, Sarah, Richard and Cathy into his car. Sarah
immediately clamours to be shown our apartment so, leaving Giles to

387

hold the fort with Lizzie, I take her up and we spend a very satisfying
half hour discussing the possibilities. When we get back to the Pink
Room I note that Bernies arrived and, from the sounds I can hear
from the hall downstairs, the vicar and his wife are just taking off
their coats.
Giles is chatting to his father over by the fireplace, he glances up
as I come back into the room and gives me one of his fleeting smiles.
Oh how I love that man! Bernie and Aunt Joan are admiring the tree.
While Im wondering which group to join, Tina brings up Peter and
Jane Hammond then dashes back downstairs. I hover undecided,
feeling I ought to go and help her but she hasnt asked for any
assistance
Giles organises drinks for the newcomers and they go over to
greet Lizzie. Im about to join them when I see Richard and Cathy
standing by the window looking out at the garden and I am suddenly
reminded of the other day when I saw Alastair and Jo in a very similar
position. Remembering Giles instructions, I change direction and
saunter over to join them. Richard greets me with a relieved smile
which puts me on the alert.
Do we get the guided tour as well? He asked brightly. A
glance at Cathy is sufficient to see that she needs to be out of this
room.
Of course, weve got time before lunch come on up.
I lead them out of the room, earning a fervent thanks, Jane
from Richard, who has his arm casually round his wife. I lead them
up to the bedroom. By this time, Cathy is in floods of tears and I
automatically reach for the tissues.
Whatever is the matter, Cathy? I asked as Richard fusses
around not quite knowing what to do and demonstrating clearly that
hes nowhere near as adept as his brother at dealing with the problem
of a weeping woman. Richard, go and find a glass of water or
something, will you?
Relieved, he disappears.
And dont even think of apologising for being a nuisance, silly
or anything else, Cathy. I said pre-empting the words I can see
hovering on her lips.
She blows her nose hard and tries to compose herself.

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Now, whatever is wrong? I asked again, pulling a chair over

and sitting next to her.
Jane, you are kind I was doing so well. She replied with a
deep sigh, The thing is well Richard and I have been trying for
a baby for some years now and nothing has come of it. At first we
didnt think anything of it well, you dont, do you? Then I
mentioned it to my GP and he suggested that we should well, we
went for tests a month ago.
What was the outcome?
Thats the trouble they say theres no real reason why we
shouldnt be able to conceive but that were both low fertility
with the very real possibility that well never be parents. What it
means in practical terms, is that every month theres a possibility and
every month we go through the whole excitement/disappointment
cycle. I came on yesterday thats whats sparked this.
Oh Cathy, thats hard. Cant they do anything to help?
Not really, because theres not really a problem, we dont
qualify for any IVF or other help. I thought I was going to be all right
today, having got through yesterday okay. Im sorry to make such a
fuss.
Youre not making a fuss, dont be so daft, Cathy. I said,
almost hearing Giles voice like an echo in my head.
The door opens; Richard comes in carrying a glass of water.
Thanks, Richard. I said, taking it from him with a smile and
handing it to Cathy. She looks up at him anxiously. Cathys been
telling me about your problem.
The door opens again before Richard can say anything and Giles
comes into the room.
Lunch is happening in a few minutes, folks. He said, looking
at me questioningly.
Can I tell Giles? I asked Cathy and she nods; Richard lays his
hand comfortingly on her shoulder as I go over to explain their
situation to Giles. He immediately goes over to his brother, puts an
arm round his shoulder and draws him over to the other window,
talking quietly.
I hunker down by Cathy. Shes pulled herself together now.
Have I made my mascara run? she asked anxiously.

389

Together we go over to the dressing table and she uses my

mirror to tidy herself up. Both of us glance over at the men from
time to time theyre still talking.
Thanks, Jane. Im okay now.
Again the glance over to the men. Sarahs voice floats up the
stairs calling us to lunch.
Weve got to go down, Giles. I said.
The men turn and come over to where were standing waiting
for them. Richard is looking less tense now, thoughtful I wonder
what Giles has said.
Everybody fit? Giles asked, quickly scanning Cathys face,
and she nods. Lets go eat, then!
Just before we go into the dining room, Giles puts his arm round
my waist, drawing me back slightly from the other two in front of us.
Im proud of you, my lady. Theyve been sitting on this one
without telling anyone to quote someone Im passing fond of - what
a pair of silly sods!
Passing fond? I exclaimed in a shocked tone
Well, maybe a bit more than that.
The dining room comes as a surprise its been decked it out in
the style of an Indian Rajahs palace with floaty draperies, incense
and even sitar music playing in the background.
Oh well done, Lizzie! Giles cried in admiration, Dad youll
have to come up with something really good to beat this!
Tina has excelled herself cooking a full Indian menu and we
tuck in with enthusiasm. Obviously, Ive eaten Indian food before,
but several of the dishes are new to me. I notice that Giles keeps a
quiet eye on his brother. Sarah picks up on it too.
Whats going on? she asked me were sitting together again
only this time I have Jane Hammond on my left.
Ill tell you later. I said, not wanting to broach the subject in
public.
Dessert is a mixture of fresh fruit and sorbets delicious.
After lunch we spread ourselves throughout the house. I take
Richard and Cathy on a genuine tour of the apartment and, again, I
find myself discussing possibilities. Everyone, it seems, has an
opinion on what we can do with the accommodation available.

390

Giles is flirting madly with Bernie when I get back, she seems to
be enjoying it.
Sarah and I invade the kitchen and force Tina to accept our
assistance with the clearing up, insisting that she comes up to join
everyone in the lounge. Lizzie and Giles got their heads together a
couple of days ago and decided to get something for her by way of a
thank you for all the work she does for the family generally much to
her embarrassment, they make a formal presentation of a bouquet of
flowers (hidden in one of our rooms for the past two days in a jug of
water) and a book on the history of jazz which Giles spotted in
Waterstones. It seems that the vicar is a bit of a jazz fanatic too and
it doesnt take long for him and Tina to get into a deep discussion,
with Jane Hammond sitting on the sidelines and, with a wickedly
innocent face, throwing oil on the flames when the discussion flags.
Needless to say, Lizzie is in top form thoroughly enjoying the
mayhem of a family party and, embarrassingly, showing all and
sundry the book of photos I gave her for Christmas. I havent been
able to view my DVD yet but Giles promises me that well watch it
together on Friday night back at Ivy Lodge. Sarahs going to come
over some time on Sunday and stay through until after our party, but
of course, well see her at Lizzies party on Saturday.
Have you heard anything from Mark?
Weve just been discussing Richard and Cathy Giles explained
the situation to her while I had them upstairs in the apartment; her
eyes light up.
Yes, hes coming down on Tuesday Ive told Giles. Ive
warned him that its a black tie do.
Good, well get a room set up for him. Im assuming that
separate rooms are in order. I said quickly, suddenly not sure, one
never quite knows these days.
Oh, yes, weve not gone that far. Sarah replied turning to
smile at Cathy who has come over to join us. Sorry to hear about
your problem, Cathy.
Its one of those things. Cathy said bleakly.
But it seems so unfair most people spend an immense
amount of effort concentrating on not getting pregnant, you tend to

391

assume that it is a given it must be hell living with that Am

I/Arent I? hanging over your head all the time.
It would be better if I didnt get so excited every time Im a day
late. Cathy confessed with a sigh, But however hard I try to forget
about it Have you and Giles discussed the possibility of children,
Jane?
Hmmm, weve talked about it. I replied, the unexpectedness
of the question throwing me a little.
Sarahs head swings round, her eyes wide.
And? she asked
We think we might give it a go.
Give what a go? Giles asked coming up behind Sarah and
smiling at me over her head.
Babies, Giles. Sarah answered watching my face.
Oh. He said, lost for words; hes obviously caught my habit
I shall have to tease him about that . Were going down to the
music room to play on the piano for a while want to come?
Id assumed that when Giles said he could play a little piano,
that he meant maybe chopsticks played slowly with two fingers. That
was stupid of me, wasnt it! Sarah laughs like a drain when I confess
this, explaining that, of all of them, Giles is the most musical and that
even she, the dunce of the family, scraped through grade five piano.
Richard, come and play that duet with me. Giles commanded
that duet being something I recognise but cant put a name to
Ive always known it as the dum de dum song. Before long, we are
all singing along with Peter the vicar putting in a very creditable bass
line and Jane harmonising somewhere in the middle.
Sarah digs some music out of one of the cupboards and plonks it
down in front of Giles Richard is waltzing his wife round the room
rather the same way that Les Dawson plays the piano, causing Jane
Hammond to fall about laughing.
Play that, Giles, and Ill sing along. Sarah instructed. Jane
come and sing with me.
I go over to stand behind Giles What is it? Oh Greensleeves,
yes, Ive heard that.
Sarah has a very sweet voice nothing like the power that Jo
has but nice to listen to. Reading the words over Giles shoulder, I

392

join in. Im vaguely aware that the others are standing still listening,
but am concentrating far too much on reading the ridiculously small
print under the notes. They applaud when we finish and Sarah
flourishes a grand curtsey.
Youre right, Giles. She said coming back to the piano, It
would be a sin not to train that. Would your friend, Jo, help do you
think?
I expect so. Ill certainly try her first. Giles replied, pulling
me down to sit on his knee. Jane, my lady, you have a fine soprano
voice. I think we ought to get Jo to listen to you.
Dont be silly, Giles. I said, assuming hes joking, but no-one
else is laughing. You cant be serious.
Oh yes, I can! Lets have a look at something else I know, is
there a copy of Pirates in that cupboard?
I think I saw one, Sarah said, going to look. Yes, its a bit
dog-eared.
Giles flips through looking for something,
Ah yes. He said, putting the book up on the music stand on
the piano. This is a very simple little tune, Jane, it goes like this.
He said, playing through it. Sarah, point out the notes, will you, Jane
cant read music.
Sarah shows me what Giles is playing, with him dodging his
head round her arm so that he can see the notes, and then sings the
line for me.
Go on, Jane, you do it. She said, listening as I repeat what
shes sung. Good, now the next bit. You see, it repeats a fair bit.
The song sounds familiar Ive heard it before oh yes, Jo
sang it in that concert. Poor Wandring One. When we get to what I
think of as the twiddly bit, Giles plays the notes and gets me to sing
them with him playing.
Thats it, Jane No, not that note , this one thats better
and now this set and up and over the top He encouraged.
Well done, Jane! Sarah said when we had put the whole lot
together. Top C no problem! You can really hate some people, cant
you!

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It needs some work, Jane, youre not supporting it properly, but

the tones lovely. Giles said mysteriously I havent the foggiest
idea what he is talking about.
Joseph appears in the doorway.
Lizzie wants to know whos singing. He announced, Was it
you Cathy?
No, it was Jane. Giles said with a grin from the piano Why
dont you bring Lizzie down and she can see for herself.
Giles! I protested, but my objection is overruled.
Of course, everyone comes down to hear what were doing and
chairs have to be set out. Im put through my paces again. My first
attempt is a disaster and Giles stops me after the first line.
Jane, stop thinking about people sitting here, just concentrate
on the music. Go and stand there rest the music on the piano and
look at me.
He sends me down to the bottom of the grand piano.
Sarahs given me a second copy she found in the back of the
cupboard its easier than trying to read the words over Giles
shoulder. He smiles at me across the piano and plays the introduction
again, encouraging me with smiles and nods as I flounder my way
through the song. Im concentrating so hard that the applause comes
as a shock.
Well, Lizzie, what do you think? Giles asked as the noise died
down.
Technically it needs working on, but the tone is excellent and
those top notes are definitely there. You honestly havent sung
before? Lizzie replied in what I call her teaching voice.
I shake my head.
No, Lizzie. I replied feeling a fool.
Well have to see about that. She said in a firm voice. Giles,
play something seasonal, please.
He immediately goes into Jingle Bells and before long were all
standing or sitting around the piano singing. Giles goes into what I
recognise as an imitation of Alastair, and begins playing carols.
Sarahs dug out some carol books from the cupboard and some old
carol sheets she distributes them round the company.

394

Jane, sing Silent Night for us you know that dont you?
Richard suggested.
I rifle through the book looking for it. Giles strikes a chord and
plays over the first line. With more confidence than I had before, I
launch into it.
It is easy singing in this room and I can hear my voice ringing
round. Even to my ears, it sounds reasonable Ive never heard
myself sing before; its a strange experience. When Ive finished, I
am alarmed to see that Lizzie, Sarah, Cathy and, yes, Aunt Joan as
well, are all in tears we are such a soggy family at times!
Giles gets up from the piano, comes over and gives me a hug.
Jane, that was beautiful. Sickening though it is, you appear to
be a natural. Though why I should be surprised, I dont know. Thank
goodness, Jo isnt a prima donna.
I think this calls for a celebration. Joseph said, Tea and
crumpets I think Tina said they would be arriving about now.
Shall we go and find them?
I help Giles collect up the music we got out Im considerably
taken aback by all this, a fact which does not escape my beloved
with an understanding smile, he holds me close, whispering how
proud he is of me. Arm in arm, we wander back up to the Pink Room
tea and crumpets sounds just right.
During the evening, we play charades I am given to
understand that this is a tradition too. Eat your heart out TV
companies!
Giles explains it all to me and we divide into three groups of
four Bernie, Lizzie and Aunt Joan are the team captains and there is
a highly amusing period while they fight over who is in which team.
When they have finished, the teams are like this:
Lizzies Losers
Joans Jesters
Bernies Boasters

Joseph
Tina
Sarah

Giles
Peter
Richard

Me
Jane
Cathy

There follows a crazy few hours. The topic this year (I am told
the theme changes every year) is Shakespearean plays. The titles are
all written on pieces of paper and folded each team draws one and
then the fun begins.
395

Bernies Boasters open the game with a very easily spotted

Romeo and Juliet, though I have to say that the sight of Richard
playing Romeo to Bernies Juliet is something to be seen.
Were next . what the dickens do we do with Coriolanus?
No-one knows the plot well enough to illustrate that, but Joseph and
Giles are not to be thwarted
Cor apples being eaten by Adam & Eve;
rio Jamaican festival;
lan a pathway we walk along
us
It takes a while but in the end they get the gist of it, though the
groans from Richard at the puns we have to resort to in order to
achieve this are heartfelt.
Joans Jesters flummox us all they bodily lift Richard off his
chair and place him on three other chairs in succession, putting paper
hats on his head in the process of course, Richard III!
With a break for replenishment of glasses, Bernies team starts
the next round As You Like It presents certain problems not
least that Richard whispers something to Cathy which makes her
collapse in giggles and earns him a filthy look from his team captain.
Julius Caesar presents no problems at all for Aunt Joan but our Two
Gentlemen of Verona proves incomprehensible Verona is a
problem, but in the end Sarah saves the day and, trawling through her
memory for plays written by the bard, makes a wild guess.
More wine this time with cheese and biscuits and round
three A Midsummer Nights Dream with Peter playing Bottom to
Aunt Joans Titania has us some of us almost rolling round the floor
with laughter but thats probably the wine.
We get Othello Lizzie has to die dramatically as Giles
overacts madly. Strangely enough they dont get it first time I
suppose there are rather a lot of Shakespeares plays where people
die. Bernies team finish off the session with a hilarious depiction of
The Taming of the Shrew.
Soon after that, the party breaks up with Joseph collecting his
brood together for the drive back to Bristol, Bernie calling a taxi and
Peter and Jane walking arm in arm up the road together.

396

The house feels suddenly empty when they have all gone, as
though echoes of the festivities are lurking in the shadows Tina
and I potter around collecting glasses and plates while Giles sits with
Lizzie and finishes off the wine.
Did you enjoy that, Jane? Tina asked as we washed up the
crockery together.
Very much, is it always like this?
Most of the time the people vary sometimes but generally its
the same ones. You can see why I love this job, cant you? she
replied with a grin. Where else would I get paid a decent wage, have
a flat most people would die for, amusing company and an eccentric
boss?
I see your point. I replied and we both laugh.

397

36.

LIZZIES PARTY

After breakfast on Friday, Giles and I pack all our presents up

and go home to Ivy Lodge.
Its wonderful being on our own after all the excitement of the
last few days and we spend the day doing virtually nothing. A stroll
round the village a wander round the garden curled up on the
sofa sheer heaven.
The DVD of Lizzie is a real eye opener for me. Not only is it
bizarre watching someone who looks so like me performing after
all, Im used to Lizzies hair being white not dark brown like mine
but theres also the fact that she is first-rate Giles gets as much
enjoyment out of watching me as he does out of watching his
godmother, at least thats what he tells me.
As we are dressing on Saturday morning, I suddenly realise I
have boobed ...
Ive left my dress at Lizzies, Giles! I said, frowning at myself
in the mirror of the dressing table, annoyed with myself. Well have
to get over there before the party so I can get ready.
Thats okay, I anticipate that well be asked to go over and help
set up anyway. Is that the phone?
He disappears downstairs. Theres an extension up here in the
bedroom but for some reason its intermittent and invariably only
rings when were downstairs it drives Giles crackers!
Well, that solves that little problem, Jane. He said, ten
minutes later. That was Alastair he suggests that I drop you over at
their place at 2.00.
What for? I asked, watching my beloved turn into an amalgam
of those devil brothers of his before my eyes. What exactly is going
on, Giles?
I dont think anyones mentioned it to you, but Lizzies
Christmas party always has a little light entertainment
No! Giles, I couldnt I started, my mind leaping ahead of
him.
Well, Lizzie seems to think you can so youre going over to
Alastairs this afternoon to see if you can learn something with Jo.
He said firmly, Now stop making a fuss we need to get moving.
398

Giles! I protested but it is to empty air, hes gone downstairs

again.
I stare at myself in the dressing table mirror and sigh. The
discovery that I can sing a bit appears to have gone to everyo nes
head. I wish I understood what all the fuss was about.
Duly, at 2.00 on the dot, Im standing at the door of the cottage
watching Giles car disappear down the lane. Lizzie rang not long
after Alastair and asked if Giles could help when Lizzie calls,
people jump. I must cultivate that skill.
Jane, lovely to see you, come on in. Jo said cheerfully, How
are you?
Confused. I dont have the first clue whats going on.
Laughing, she leads me into their dining room where Alastairs
sitting at the piano. I can hear voices elsewhere in the house and an
older woman Ive not seen before pops her head round the door,
Jo, well be off then see you in an hour or so.
Thanks, Gwen. Dont get lost! Jo replied with a smile.
Thats Alastairs mother, Jane, she and Jack are taking Ellie out in
her buggy. I expect theyll stop at the playground down the lane.
Were trying to wear Ellie out so that Sally doesnt have too bad a
time tonight babysitting. She and Gary very kindly offered to have
both Ellie and Josh over at their place tonight so that we can all go to
Lizzies party you know Tilly I think? Tillys returning the favour
on New Years Eve so we can all come to yours. It takes some
organising this parenting business.
Stop rabbiting, Jo, lets get down to work.
Alastair
interrupted, Jane, take your coat off and get yourself comfy then
well see what you can do.
He makes me do what seem like physical jerks for starters
raising my arms to the ceiling and blowing my breath out. It all
seems a bit odd, but Jo joins in and I dont feel too silly trying to copy
her. Then he strikes a note on the piano and instructs me to sing it on
Ah.
No, not like that, Jane. Open your mouth, think AH and then
sing it from the back of your head yes, thats better. Now, how
about singing this scale.
He plays a run of notes and I do my best to copy it.

399

Jo, show her how to support it.

Jo comes over and shows me where I need to breath I put my
hand on my diaphragm and breath in deeply feeling it move, she
explains that I need to use that when Im singing. It all seems very
complicated to me.
Alastair adds the instruction that I should raise my eyebrows too
I think hes joking at first but it seems hes deadly serious, going
into some detailed explanation about soft palates which leaves me
completely behind. Theres more to this singing lark than I thought.
Initially, I feel as though I am trying to pat my head with one
hand and rub my stomach with the other, but gradually I get t he hang
of what they are trying to get me to do and, yes, I can feel the
difference. Alastair makes me sing scales, arpeggios (he has to
explain what they are), and lots of other intervals of notes which I
cannot put a name to, each time, going up the scale.
Youll do, Jane. Alastair said with a grin, Jo, youve got
competition!
Rubbish! Theres plenty of room for good sopranos round
here. Jane, would you like a drink of water?
While she goes off to get it for me, Alastair explains that he
wants me and Jo to sing a duet tonight at the party. The thought is
terrifying but I cant get through to him or Jo they just dont
understand that not everyone has a history of standing up in front of
an audience.
We spend the next hour working on the duet Im not sure
what I thought he was going to suggest, but it certainly wasnt the Cat
Duet. Ive not heard it before, surprise, surprise Alastair plays it
through with Jo singing one of the parts two cats miaouing at each
other and I thought all classical music was serious.
I stare at my copy of the music, wishing Id concentrated more
in music lessons at school, Im singing the top line at least thats
easy to follow. Alastair splits it into sections, working on my notes
and then, when he thinks I am reasonably confident, adding Jos line.
I am absurdly pleased that I manage to keep my line going.
Thats definitely there, ladies. Well done. Now lets try it with
feeling. Alastair commented. Work out what sort of cat you are and
then do it in character.

400

This acting stuff is new to me, but I give it a go. My cat is

going to be a beautiful, sleek Persian Jo tells me that shes going to
be a female version of Treacle, her cat, feisty and common. We try it
and both collapse in fits of laughter half way through. We try
again.
Good. Alastair pronounced, Thats up to standard. Well
done, Jane.
Theres a commotion out in the hall the grandparents have
returned. Alastair whisks out to greet them while Jo and I take a much
needed sit down. Weve been standing all afternoon and my feet are
starting to complain.
Dad, come and listen to this. Alastair said, leading in the man
I saw at the Midnight Service the other day.
Jack, this is Jane Mortimer the one I told you about? Jo
explained, introducing us.
We shake hands as Gwen comes in carrying Ellie who, seeing
her mother, holds her arms out and burbles baby talk. Jo takes her
daughter, settles her comfortably on her hip and turns to me. Alastair
is waiting at the piano.
Come on Jane, lets show them what we can do.
We go through the duet again, Ellie trying to help by putting her
fingers in her mothers mouth, I notice, but it doesnt throw Jo. I feel
horribly shy singing in front of Jack and Gwen but as soon as the
music starts, I try to ignore it and concentrate on the singing.
Oh well done! Jack announced at the end, clapping heartily.
I see Jo and Alastair exchange a quick glance, before smiling at
him.
So how long have you been performing, Jane? Jack asked.
About two hours.
Alastair explains that Ive not done it before which gets
everyone exclaiming in a very embarrassing manner.
Fortunately,
Im rescued by a loud knocking at the door; with a quick look at the
clock, Jo leaps to her feet.
Thatll be Giles come to collect you, Jane. Do you want to go
through it for his benefit?
No, lets surprise him tonight. I replied and she grins impishly
at me.

401

When we get back to the house, Giles shows me what he and

Tina have achieved in the music room small tables decorated with
red cloths and sprigs of holly have been arranged around the stage
area, the piano has been moved from its usual place and, with the
paper garlands which are draped all around the walls, it all looks
extremely festive. A long trestle table along one wall is covered with
neatly clingfilmed plates of food and another has bottles of various
drinks and loads of glasses.
Leaving them to put the finishing touches, I wander up to the
Pink Room, where Tina says there are some sandwiches and coffee. I
wolf them down. It was hard work this afternoon. Lizzies all
dressed up for the party and scribbling on a piece of paper, she asks
what Jo and I are singing so she can put it on the programme.
The Cat Duet I announced with more confidence than I
actually feel.
Oh lovely! she said, writing that down on her list.
What else is on the programme, Lizzie? I asked, reading
through the list over her shoulder.
Alastair is opening the entertainment on the piano then
Joseph and Lizzie are doing something together a group from the
operatic society follow, then Colin and Richard have a spot, Bernie is
giving a monologue and then its Jo and I.
Giles sticks his head round the door and tells me that Id better
go and get dressed hell be up shortly with a smile to Lizzie, I go
off to get ready.
I decide I have time for a short lie down and stretch out on the
bed, closing my eyes and thinking through the events of the afternoon.
I must have dozed off because the next thing I know is that Giles is
bending over me. He kisses me and I wind my arms round his neck.
People will be arriving in a moment, Jane, you need to get
dressed.
Thats when I notice that he is dressed and ready with an
exclamation, I leap up
I didnt want to disturb you you were sound asleep when I
came up.
Thats all very well luckily, it doesnt take me long to dress;
Giles does up the zip for me commenting, as he does, that he

402

remembers helping me out of this dress not so long ago. Applying a

little make up Lizzies lesson has stuck I then run a brush through
my hair yes, Ill do.
Theres a small crowd in the music room by the time we get
there. I recognise some of the writing circle and point out Victor to
Giles. Joseph and Aunt Joan come over, closely followed by the
terrible twins, as I am starting to call them in my head, and their
wives. Cathys looking less haunted today Im pleased to see.
Sarahs chatting to Dan hes obviously latched onto the only good
looking, single woman in the room. Jo and Alastair arrive with Jack
and Gwen in tow at the same time as the vicar and his wife. Im
feeling edgy now, and when a large crowd of operatic society
members noisily bursts into the room, my nerves really kick in.
On Jos advice, Im sticking to soft drinks until after the
entertainment she said that its difficult enough keeping your mind
on the music without having alcohol adding to the problem and I
can see her point, already Im going over my notes in my head
thank goodness, I can have the music in front of me when we actually
do the thing. At least I havent got to wait for hours in agony; the
entertainment will start the evening.
Bernies the last to arrive with Gerald, Jos father. I suddenly
spot Antony and his partner, Dave, standing looking at the portrait on
the wall and suddenly the penny drops. I remember talking to them
about the miniatures that Antony paints my picture hardly
qualifies as a miniature in the true meaning of the word, but Im
willing to bet that Antony painted it.
Giles and I sit down at a table, Sarah, escaping from Dan,
coming to join us. Shes looking very attractive tonight in a bronzy
gold dress which sets off her blond hair beautifully I dont blame
Dan for trying.
Lizzie is wheeled to the centre of the stage area and, as the hall
falls silent, welcomes everyone.
Weve got the usual mixed bag of entertainment tonight, she
said with a smile, and I shall introduce it as we go. Firstly please
welcome Alastair on the piano.
Everybody claps as, with a flourish, he takes his seat and flexes
his fingers. He plays a couple of notes, frowns, rises, and starts

403

fiddling with the piano stool. Again, the flourish and he starts again
there are giggles from some of the audience when he again stops
and fiddles with the stool and again he starts. Hes playing The
Entertainer but very soon the room erupts with laughter as it
becomes clear that he is deliberately playing wrong notes. At one
point, he stops and fiddles with one of the notes as though it has got
stuck all the time playing the part of the unfazed concert pianist
talk about sending himself up! To loud applause, his grin broad, he
takes his bow and retreats back to his seat.
Lizzie and Joseph take the stage next for a version of Ah, yes, I
remember it well. Its great seeing Lizzie in her own element
despite her wheelchair and her age, shes brilliant. Joseph plays
himself to a large extent but the combination works well, Lizzie
providing the necessary acting she seems to shed years, if not
decades, in the process.
A group of the young people from the operatic society now
disappear across the hall to the room which is being used for costume
changes, and we all take advantage of the momentary lull to re-fill
glasses and, in my case, to get even more nervous. They only take
five minutes and very soon, with Alastair back at the piano, they
bound through the doorway dressed in pearly king and queen
costumes for a lively rendition of Lambeth Walk, getting everyone
singing along to the chorus.
I notice the twins and their wives creeping out of the room
during this they must be wearing costume for their item - Bella and
Cathy coming back into the room just as the Lambeth Walk group
take their bows and return to their seats. Nodding to Alastair, Bella
holds open the door as he strikes up a chord and the most incredible
sight comes into the room. Richard is dressed up as a sailor but Colin
is dressed as a tropical maiden full grass skirt and coconuts topped
off with an amazing blond wig. His make u p has to be seen to be
believed. Coyly, he accompanies his brother to the stage and bats his
enormous, false, eyelashes at the audience.
Bellas bent double with laughter over by the door I see Aunt
Joan, cast her eyes to the ceiling and shake her head. When the
laughter has died down a little, they go into a rendition of Honey Bun
which, Giles tells me in a whispered aside, is from the show South

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Pacific. I honestly dont know what Richard is singing as his words

are pretty well drowned out by the laughter which Colins antics set
off every couple of seconds. As Richard manfully goes into the
second verse, Colin sets off round the tables, making up to any man
he sees and actually sitting on Victors lap, flirting outrageously with
him. I can hardly catch my breath for laughing at Victors expression
he doesnt know whether to laugh or take offence! Lizzie is
virtually wetting herself.
Bernie has the unenviable task of following that performance
but she does it with flair and command dressed as a suffragette
(complete with poster demanding Votes for Women), she gives us an
amusing monologue in broad cockney about how she became a
suffragette.
Shit! Jo and I are next.
My mouth becomes dry and my heart is pounding so loudly Im
sure that Giles must be able to hear it. I clutch my music frantically,
my eyes scanning the first line in the hope that itll look familiar
Lizzie introduces us.
I rise from my seat to walk the short distance to the stage area.
I cant remember being so afraid; Jo gives me an encouraging
smile as we arrange ourselves.
Alastair plays the introduction and I start, desperately trying to
remember all the technical bits I learned earlier. To my utter
amazement, my voice doesnt sound at all nervous and hearing my
voice ring round the hall gives me confidence. I think cat, reacting
to the miaous which Jo is throwing at me the applause at the end
almost takes me by surprise Im so lost in what I am doing. Jo takes
my hand and we bow My spirits rising on the wave of applause
I could get to like this.
Jane, that was brilliant! Giles said, giving me a quick hug and
a kiss of appreciation as I arrive back at the table, Jo, whatever did
you do this afternoon?
Just ironed out a few technicalities, Giles. Jo said with a wink
in my direction, Takes after her mother, by the look of it a born
performer.
But I was terrified!

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You didnt show it, Jane, and thats the telling point we all
get nervous, you get used to it and, to be honest, I think it adds a
certain something to a performance. You did well. I shall look
forward to working with you again. Jo said before making her way
back to her family.
People are starting to help themselves to food now. We join the
slowly moving queue. Various people come to chat its very
relaxed and enjoyable.
Lizzie is at the table when we get back shes been working her
way round everyone else and come home to roost, so to speak.
I am extremely proud of you, my girl. She said as I settle
down with my plateful of food, starving now that the nerves have
gone off. It was strange seeing you on that stage you have some
of your fathers mannerisms most unexpected Ive not seen it
before. The way you almost shook yourself, girding your loins so to
speak as you waited to come in he used to do that. What are you
going to do with that voice, Jane?
That knocks me off balance Ive not thought about doing
anything I mean Giles looks at me speculatively,
It would be a pity not to use it in some way, Jane. He said, but
theres something not quite right about the way he says it.
I look at him sharply. He meets my glance with a bland look
but there at the back I can see hes afraid.
I dont think I want to go on the stage or anything like that. I
said as casually as I can manage, keeping a close eye on his reaction
a minuscule amount of relaxation got you, Giles. It would be
nice to learn some more and maybe sing with Jo sometimes, but Id
much rather settle down to married life.
Sensible girl. Lizzie said, meeting my eyes in one of those
more frequent now moments of complete understanding between us.
The stage is a dreadful taskmaster.
I could cope with being the husband of a local celebrity. Giles
said, pretending hed not been at all bothered that I was going to be
seduced by a professional stage career. Just make sure you sing in
your married name none of this single woman business.

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Oh, I dont know, Giles. Lizzie put in, twinkle very evident,
It would look good on the notices . Jane Mortimer, daughter of the
great Lizzie Mortimer.
And we all laugh.
Driving home after the party, Giles brings the subject up again.
You ought to use your talent, Jane.
I shall, Giles. I had a long chat with Alastair while you were
talking to Richard and Cathy, he thinks that Jo and I could work
together on some concerts. She finds it a little much having a full
time job, a demanding baby and a singing career as well. He was
telling me that shes been saying for some time that she wants to cut
back but its difficult. I could take some of the angst out of it for her.
Even to my ears, that sounds pretentious Jos a soloist of
repute and for me to be putting myself forward but Alastair
suggested it so he must believe Im up to it.
You could do more than that, Jane. We all know that. I dont
want to hold you back.
Giles, it would be fun to play at it, I admit, but if it means not
being with you, then I dont want it. Maybe I could have a go in the
operatic society sometime if I get time, but at the moment, all I want
is to settle down with you.
Its a good job I didnt take you at face value when I met you,
Jane. He said thoughtfully, turning into the lane which leads to the
village.
What do you mean?
Just look in the mirror sometime, Jane, and tell me if you see
the anxious, I can take on the world but I hope I dont have to
defensive creature who appeared in my offices one Saturday morning
not so long ago. Okay, so thats an exaggeration, but your confidence
has grown immensely, your talents have flowered and you are
altogether a more positive person than you were then. Life with you
isnt going to be comfortable all the time, not by a long chalk, but its
never going to be boring.
He parks the car outside Ivy Lodge and, turning off the engine,
turns to look at me. Im still digesting his words.
Jane, if you wanted to try your luck on the stage, and goodness
knows youve got the talent for it, I wouldnt stand in your way.

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Youve said that you dont want that and yes, I am relieved about
that, but I want you to know that Im also very proud of you and if
you persist in being daft enough to want to marry me, Ill encourage
you and support you in whatever way you choose to use your talent
He paused, as though struck dumb by embarrassment. Reaching
for the door handle, he grinned. Now lets get into the house, its cold
out here.
Snuggled up in bed, Giles sound asleep with his arm round me, I
reflect on what he said no, Im not the same person so whats
made the difference? Security? not having to worry about money?
. being loved? Bernie was sweet tonight she came up to me
at one point and looked almost tearful she said I was so like Lizzie
on stage it reminded her of the days when she and Lizzie worked
together I wonder if shes lonely Jo introduced me to several of
the operatic society people there was a woman called Sonia, I think
it was, she was obviously not pleased to meet me Jo said she was a
soloist with the society could she see me as competition? how
silly Dan had been very complimentary and congratulated me on
my engagement ... that was a very embarrassing moment Giles
laughed at me when I told him.
It was nice of Gerald to call me over to talk to him though, he
was sitting with Alastairs parents and rather than enthusing over me,
as so many people were doing, commented on my performance
realistically even pointing out the bit I know I got wrong I like
Gerald hes solid and genuine
I had a nice chat with Gwen, shes so proud of Alastair. She told
me that theyve had a really enjoyable time over Christmas and are
looking forward to coming to our party on New Years Eve it is
impossible to believe that Alastair and his parents didnt talk for years
and years, but thats what Lizzie told me.
Giles mutters something in his sleep and I smile, revelling in the
warmth of his body close to mine.

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37.

GOODBYE TO TAUNTON

Sarah arrives after lunch Im busy baking, having been

overcome by a desire to make my man a fruit cake. Fortunately, the
ingredients are to hand and I have the recipe off by heart; Its one I
used to make when I lived at home. While its baking, I make some
flapjack in the microwave and put it to cool.
I hear Giles going to open the door so put the kettle on ready to
make coffee. Im enjoying pottering out here today while Giles uses
the time to catch up with some paperwork in his study just
knowing hes in there is almost comforting.
That smells lovely! Sarah said as she comes into the kitchen,
Giles trailing behind her. Giles, youre being spoilt rotten!
Yes, I know. He replied looking interested as I take the cake
out of the oven.
Keep your hands off that! I said quickly, as he reaches out,
Wait until it cools down. Coffee, Sarah? You can have a piece of
flapjack if you like, Giles.
Thanks, that would be lovely, Jane. She said, grinning at her
brother as he tucks into the flapjack happily, and settling at the table.
Oh, this is comfortable. What are the arrangements for the next few
days?
Im back to work tomorrow, Sarah, but Janes going down to
deal with the handover of her old flat in Taunton with Colin and
Richard. You could go with her if you like, shell be taking the car.
The boys are going in Colins van so they can bring all her stuff
back.
That would be a nice change. We could make it a really girly
sort of day, Jane. Sarah said plainly pleased at the thought I
wonder what it was like growing up with three older brothers must
have had its less congenial moments, I imagine. Whatve you
arranged with the twins?
Were meeting them at the flat at about eleven it seemed silly
for them to come all the way over here just so that we can travel in
convoy. Ive given Colin instructions how to find the place.
What time are you expecting your landlord to appear?
About 12 , isnt it, Giles?
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Thats what we arranged.

Anyway, all the stuffs packed so it will just be a question of
shoving it all into the van. I thought we could have lunch somewhere
on the way back perhaps getting back here by mid to late afternoon
in plenty of time to collect Giles from the station. Then we can have a
quiet evening here.
Right, thats Monday whats next? Sarah asked, clearly
enjoying herself.
Well, on Tuesday weve got the party.
That reminds me, Giles interrupted, Jane, the caterers will be
in from mid afternoon, so well need to have moved the furniture
around by then. Oh, and dont forget to ask Daisy to make up a bed
for Mark.
Okay what time will he be coming, Sarah? Is he driving or
coming by train?
Hes driving. The idea is hell take me back with him on
Wednesday. Sarah said self consciously. I think hell be here
lunchtimeish. Ive given him directions but its not the easiest place
in the world to find.
Whats he like, Sarah? I asked.
um hes about six foot tall, slim and has the most
marvellous bone structure. I think I told you hes an architect? Hes
also into steam trains. We went to a steam working on our first date,
in fact.
Wheres he from? Giles asked, taking another piece of
flapjack before I can whip them away grinning at me like a small
boy as I move the plate out of his reach.
Up Cambridge way, his parents are something at the university
cant remember what. Hes got a sister too married with
children.
Youll have to watch the local ladies if hes good looking,
Sarah, they can be man-eaters at times. Giles said with feeling
hes not as blind as people think.
Getting up to take Giles to the station on Monday morning is an
effort, amazing how quickly one gets out of the habit. Sarah has
breakfast waiting for me by the time I get back and, after a leisurely
girly chat over the toast, I point the car towards Taunton and we set

410

off. Its pleasant chatting to Sarah she confesses how nervous she
is about the relationship with Mark hes a lovely guy and she likes
him very much, but shes aware that shes holding him at arms length
purely out of a fear of being hurt again. With Giles and I it was
different, I dont remember even considering t he wisdom of the
relationship but he did rather sweep me off my feet.
Sarahs comments about Giles are enlightening hearing her
talk about her big brother ... the man I know so differently. She
comments more than once that she is so pleased to have me for a
sister a thought I heartily reciprocate.
*****
Sitting in the pub some hours later, waiting for our lunch order
to arrive, I take a deep breath. Now my life in Taunton is totally,
completely and utterly over.
You okay, Jane? Sarah asked.
The boys have gone up to the counter to fight over paying for
drinks honestly this family!
Yes, it just seems rather final and finality is always difficult.
Still it all went very smoothly considering.
Wed got to the flat just before eleven to find Colin and Richard
sitting in the van waiting for us. It had taken me a moment to find the
keys in my bag I knew they were in there Id nearly gone off
without them but, thank goodness, Sarah had made a joke about me
forgetting them just as I was about to start the car; Id frantically
dashed back into the house while she chuckled to herself.
The flat was cold and seemed very small and tatty as we walked
round it. Colin and Richard loaded up the van while Sarah and I
checked, yet again, that I hadnt forgotten anything and read the
meters again. Im sure Giles did this before, but I cant remember and
its better to be safe than sorry. The landlord rolled up early, just as
the last boxes were being loaded up. As he greeted me, I saw Colin &
Richard look at each other.
We went round the flat the landlord, Sarah and I - while the
twins hung around doing an impression of removal men a rather
bad impression actually. It was obviously a wrench, but my landlord

411

had to concede that the flat was in impeccable condition. Even so, he
ummed and ahhed about giving me my deposit back, making a big
show of looking for his cheque book.
Jane, do you want me to ring Giles to check what was agreed?
Colin said in his well educated voice, stepping into the breach, and
smiling at the landlord rather like a crocodile would have done.
Giles, is Janes fianc, you know, hes a solicitor in Bristol.
Suddenly, there was no problem about the deposit and I was
handed a cheque with no further argument. I gave the landlord the
keys and said goodbye.
Sarah only just made it to the car before she exploded with
laughter.
Theres your lemonade, Jane. Colin said, putting the glass
down in front of me. Lets drink to something .. how about doors
closing?
His tone is so like Giles, that it shakes me. It feels odd being
here with the twins and Sarah but without Giles. The family likeness
is so strong that I am repeatedly brought up short.
The meal is a cheerful one the twins are excellent company
and clearly pleased to have Sarah with them. That they include me as
one of the family is very touching and several times I find myself
consciously appreciating it. It is also very clear that they are devoted
to their big brother for all that they wind him up dreadfully every time
they see him.
Richard has now told Colin about the problems he and Cathy are
having and, as we eat, we discuss the options they have adoption
seems to be the best route, though having their own child is not
absolutely out of the question, merely extremely unlikely. They even
discuss the possibility of surrogacy which shakes me, but underlines
the closeness of their relationship. Richard seems a lot more relaxed
now that Colin knows I can imagine it must have been doubly
difficult for him having to deal with it all and not being able to talk to
his twin about the problem. Sarah comes in for a bit of teasing on the
subject of Mark but nowhere near the level that Giles gets. Colin is
definitely the leader of the pair of them, the dominant twin.
Fascinating.

412

We hit the road again and drive home through the misty winter
afternoon. The Somerset Levels are bleak in winter, some of the
fields are flooded and everything is a dreary brown and muddy green.
Sarah spends a good bit of the drive answering my questions about
her job. It sounds interesting never thought about the issues of
copyright and suchlike before but with my new job coming up, it
might be useful knowing a little.
Due to a traffic jam just outside Wells, we dont get back to Ivy
Lodge until nearly five but, to my surprise, Giles is home. Whilst
giving me a very welcome hug, he explains that Philip had a job in
Bath and, as he had done most of what he had to do, he skived off and
cadged a lift. He helps the twins unload my stuff putting it in the
garage for the moment well sort it out once the party is out of the
way. I catch a little of what is said it seems Colin is explaining
about the landlord and I hear Giles laugh. The boys dont hang
around once we have unloaded, theyre going out with Joseph tonight
to something in Bristol and need to get back to change.
So it all went according to plan, then? Giles asked as we wave
goodbye to the van.
Yes, very much to plan, Giles, though the landlord had to be
threatened with you before he would cough up the deposit.
Was it very difficult leaving the flat?
No, not really I thought Id feel it when I left, but it wasnt
anything at all. Its very much past history now and I suppose it
helped being surrounded by your siblings.
Good, he said, planting a kiss on my forehead. Go and light
the candle, will you? I didnt like to do it until you were home.
Sarah looks on with a puzzled expression on her face as I light
the tea light which we now keep on a low table in the hall. After a
fairly lively argument, we had decided that was an appropriate place
as it is the heart of the house. Blowing it out is the last thing we do as
we go up to bed. Giles explains what it is all about.
Oh how lovely! she said. It must be complicated living in
two homes.

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38.

NEW YEAR

But if you hang it there, it will dominate the whole house! I

argued, It would be so much better in the lounge or the dining room.
Giles holds the picture Lizzie gave me for Christmas up against
the space in the hall again.
Maybe youre right. He conceded, Id like it in my study to
be frank, but thats a purely selfish wish, it looks so much like you,
Jane. Lets try it in the lounge.
The lounge is a no-go the only wall remotely suitable is in
full sun and that would not be good for the paint we traipse into the
dining room Ive not been in here very much, we tend to eat in the
kitchen if it is just the two of us.
Why havent you got a piano, Giles? I said suddenly
remembering I have been meaning to ask him this for over a week
now.
He rests the picture on the floor for a moment, pausing in his
assessment of the walls in here,
Never got round to it do you think it would be a good idea?
Where would we put it?
If you move the table over a little towards the window, Giles, it
could go in that corner. The picture would just fit over the fireplace
as well, the panelling would set it off nicely.
Y..e..s.. he said considering the wall over the fireplace and
holding up the picture. You have a point there. As for the piano I
think it would be better to move the table over here and put the piano
by the window it would be pleasant to be able to look out on the
garden while playing and a baby grand would look rather nice there. I
could perhaps help you with learning songs sometimes Ill look
into it.
Oh there you are! Sarah said, sticking her head round the
door. The caterers on the phone, Giles, can you come and speak to
her?
He dashes off to take the call.
Hows it going, Jane?

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Were getting there, I think. At least weve moved all the

extraneous bits and pieces out of the lounge now. Weve more or less
decided to put the picture up here what do you think?
Yes, I like it. Youll have to get portraits of you and Giles
done, Jane, theyd compliment it nicely. Dont look like that! Its
quite normal, you know, only one step away from having photos
around the place.
The doorbell rings and we hear Giles footsteps going across the
hall to open the door followed by the sound of male voices.
Thats Mark! Sarah said quickly, glancing into the mirror a nd
smoothing down her hair.
Shes in here, I think, Mark. Giles said, entering the room
You found us without too much trouble then?
I got a little confused at the last junction but trusting my bump
of direction, I turned right and here I am. Mark replied with a smile
at Sarah.
She rushes over to welcome him. Catching Giles eye, we
exchange a bemused glance Sarahd given us a fair bit of detail
about Mark, she just hadnt mentioned that hes black. Not that it
matters, it was just unexpected.
Jane, meet Mark Mark, this is my nearly sister-in-law, Jane.
Sarah said happily leading him over.
He is the most stunningly good-looking man I have ever seen
the sort of bone structure you can just stare at for hours on end. He
also has a friendly smile and lots of charm. We shake hands.
Nice to meet you, Mark, glad you to could make it. Sarah,
would you like to show Mark where hell be sleeping and everything?
Im afraid were only having pot luck for lunch it should be
happening in about half an hour.
Thanks, Jane. He replied with that gorgeous smile of his,
following Sarah out of the room.
Jane, take that ridiculous look off your face, you daft woman!
Giles said coming over and taking the picture out of my hand so he
can hang it on the picture rail.
But hes gorgeous! I could just sit and look at him for hours.
That might cause comment, Jane. Giles said with a wry smile,
Not to mention the impact it would have on my fragile ego.

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You silly sod, Giles. I wouldnt swop you for anyone, but I can
window shop cant I? Thats not straight .. down a bit on the right
hand side thats better.
Mmmm, Ill have to think about that. I cant help feeling that
some of the locals might be a little staggered when they meet him.
What the local ladies will make of him, I do not know. Ill have to
warn him. He seems a nice chap.
What will Aunt Joan say, do you think? I asked, wondering
how politically correct Giles aunt might be.
A lot less than one or two of my neighbours here in the village
this neck of the woods is a bit of an outpost of the Empire in some
ways. As for Aunt Joan I dont think I told you she works part
time with a multi-cultural organisation in Bristol, did I? No, I thought
not I wonder which firm of architects he works for.
Sorry, Giles, Im not colour prejudiced in any way but we just
dont see many non-white people in Taunton and the novelty factor
added to his stunning good looks is hitting me. I confessed as we go
into the kitchen.
I must get lunch organised its only going to be bread, cheese
and salad but even so it has to be put out.
I hope he didnt think I was being rude, staring like that.
I imagine he must be used to it, as you say, hes a striking chap
must turn heads on a regular basis.
Over lunch we have an opportunity to get to know Mark, and
the impression he makes is good. Considering that Giles is in pure,
unsullied big brother mode, probably unconsciously though Im
not entirely sure about that Mark survives remarkably well. I
catch his eye a couple of times and see a certain amount of humour
lurking there. He helps me clear up after lunch while the other two
go off to do something with the dinner table.
I hope you didnt mind Giles asking all those questions, Mark,
I said, washing the dishes and stacking them on the draining board for
him to dry. He and Sarah are very close and hes protective of his
sister.
Thats okay, Jane, I recognised the signs Im an older brother
myself! I dont blame him, Sarahs worth protecting.
Sarah said your sisters married, Mark, does she live near you?

416

No, she and her husband live up near the parents David, her
husband, works in the university like my mother. I go up there
reasonably often; were a close family.
Thats nice. Im new to this family business, myself, though I
am gradually learning how it works.
He looks puzzled so I explain about my antecedents.
Oh, Id better warn you about the twins, Mark Sarahs told
you about them? theyre probably going to give you a fair amount
of stick - they are right devils at times but genuinely nice guys, if you
know what I mean.
Yes, Sarah mentioned her brothers . a reincarnation of Lewis
Carrolls characters, I understand. He said with a grin, Where shall
I put these glasses?
The sound of clattering at the door tells me that we have just
finished here in the kitchen in time the caterers have arrived.
Mark and I make ourselves scarce as a squad of capable looking
women, heavily laden with boxes, invade the house. The dining room
is no refuge and in the end, we resort to the conservator y off the
lounge. At least its warm in there and were not in the way. Sarah
appears fairly soon, explaining that Giles is running the show we
agree that keeping our heads down is probably a sensible move and
spend a very agreeable hour or so just chatting generally. I like
Mark, hes an interesting man with a down to earth sense of humour
Sarahs pretty keen on him by the look of it, though she tries to hide
it.
The first guests are expected at about seven thirty but by half
five I am feeling jittery and, in an attempt to control the nerves, I go
up to shower and start dressing.
You look delightful, Jane. Giles announced, giving me a once
over when I have finished. I like that shade of green on you. It sets
off the necklace nicely too.
Were standing in the lounge with Mark and Sarah when the
first guests arrive Sarah is looking radiant in a deep blue dress
which sets off her eyes and Mark is stunning in his formal attire but
then again, he would probably look reasonable in a sack! That man is
seriously good to look at.

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Joseph and the Bristol contingent arrive - Colin and Bella have
left the children in Wales with Bellas parents and are making the
most of their freedom. Mark has to be introduced to everyone and,
predictably, comes in for a certain amount of teasing from the terrible
twins, especially once they find out he is an architect I gather that
quantity surveyors, civil engineers and architects are perpetually in a
state of open warfare Mark is more than capable of batting their
humour back at them which is a relief. Im feeling very protective
towards the poor man I know what its like being the new one in the
family and although he and Sarah have not been going out with each
other for long, I get the impression he might be around for a while.
Hes not terribly demonstrative but every now and then his eyes rest
on Sarah and give rather a lot away.
Lizzie and Tina arrive shortly after and the introductions start all
over again. Gradually the room fills up and people spill over into the
hall and the conservatory, trays of drinks being wafted around by
neatly turned out waitresses.
The next hour is spent with Giles introducing me to the locals
and me desperately trying to remember names. Then hes claimed by
Joseph, leaving me free to take refuge in the conservatory for a few
minutes, where I go over the data Ive been given about the people
Ive met: Theres John (portly, grey and autocratic) and his wife,
Poppy, (faded blonde running to fat) with their daughters um .
Gemma (blonde) and Davina (redhead) (two of the local ladies)
hes ex-army and theyre into horses and live in the big house up by
the main road into the village; then theres Teresa Scott (impeccably
turned out she eyed up my dress as though costing it) shes a TV
presenter and has brought a couple of her colleagues to the party, she
lives in a cottage on the Keynsham road; Paul Bishop (40s, balding
but nice eyes) hes a teacher, secondary ... I think he said, and his
sister, Tamsin, (older than Paul - a younger version of Aunt Joan)
shes a nurse they live with their elderly mother at the other end of
the village.
You cant hide out here, Jane! Sally said, sitting herself down
beside me.
Im not hiding, Im just trying to remember who everyone is. I
said with a grin. Howre things with you?

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Fine, weve brought Garys sister, Gail, with us you must

meet her. Jake and Katie are around somewhere too. I think Ben and
Abi have taken up with Lizzie. This is a lovely house, Jane.
Yes, it is Giles did an excellent job of renovating it. Would
you like to see over it?
Oh yes, please. I love looking round peoples houses. Sally
replied, picking up her glass.
We collect Jo as we go through the lounge, and I wave to Philip
and Andrew who are standing over by the fireplace talking to Gary
and Mark, flanked by their women Katherine is still around, I see.
Standing in the dining room, now laid out with sumptuous plates of
food, I mention the piano suggestion to Jo.
Sensible idea, Jane, youll enjoy working with Giles on music.
Oh, that picture looks lovely up there. Do you know, if I didnt know
it was Lizzie, I would swear it was you. Jo said, looking from me to
the picture and back again.
Sally does a double take,
Isnt it you, Jane? The necklace made me think it was.
I explain it seems that I spend a lot of my time explaining
these days. As we are coming down the stairs from a tour of the first
floor, Giles hails me from the door of the dining room.
Jane, come and meet Adam.
With a smile to Jo and Sally, I go over to be introduced to the
short, tanned man standing by Giles.
Adam and I were at school together, Jane. He and his wife,
Tania, have a restaurant in Spain.
Lovely to meet you, Jane. Adam said, shaking hands Giles
tells me youre going to be married in a few weeks. About time he
was tied down properly youve been fancy free for far too long,
Giles! You must bring Jane out to Spain for a break sometime you
can fly from Bristol now, you know, make it a long weekend. We can
put you up.
We might well do that, Adam. Giles replied, his arm firmly
round my waist, after Easter perhaps.
The twins come over and claim Adam, carrying him and his
wife off to meet Bella and Cathy, leaving us on our own for a few
moments.

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You okay, Jane? Its a little manic.

Im fine enjoying myself. There are enough people I know so
its not too terrifying. I couldnt have done this a month ago. I
replied, gently kissing him, then wiping off the lipstick trace Ive left
on his face.
Good back into the fray the food will be starting shortly,
I think.
As people begin making their way to the dining room, I see
Bernie and stop to tell her how much I enjoyed her monologue the
other day. We chat about the entertainment for a few minutes.
That man of Sarahs is causing a flutter in the chicken coop, I
notice. She said, her eyebrows disappearing into her fringe, The
local ladies are very taken with him.
Oh dear, we thought that might happen. I hope Giles got round
to warning him, I know he intended to.
I daresay, the man will survive!
Mark is easy to spot hes the centre of a group of women. I
see Gemma and Davina gazing at him adoringly as well as a couple of
others I cant put a name to. Sarahs standing nearby talking to Gary
and every now and then casting amused glances over at her boyfriend.
As I walk past Mark and his bevy of beauties, I hear him say,
Excuse me, ladies, I must speak to Jane.
With a flash of his charming smile, he makes a break for it and,
taking my arm, almost drags me over to the other side of the room.
Giles warned me that the locals were keen, Jane, but theyre
man-eaters! he muttered feelingly.
I watch Sarah making her way towards us, a wicked smile on
her face.
Sarah, you should be had up for desertion in the face of the
enemy! he said plaintively as she reaches us. Abandoning me, like
that! And I thought you were a kind, considerate type of woman.
I leave them to it and, glancing around the room, go over to
where Sallys chatting to a pretty blonde woman ... Garys sister
oh hell, whats her name it begins with a G Gail? Yes, I think
thats right. Sally gave me a potted history of Gails background
while I showed her round the house, explaining that she and Gary are

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trying help Gail get a foothold in a social life of some sort . .. but they
dont know many single men.
Jane, youve not met Gail. Sally said, as Garys sister flashes
a bright smile at me. Shes a teacher.
What age group do you teach, Gail? I asked, listening to her
reply while a devious thought leaps into my head.
Giles mentioned earlier that Paul ... the one with the nurse as a
sister is a teacher . and divorced I can see Katie talking to the
sister whats her name? Tamsin thats right. Pauls standing
listening to them.
Do come and meet Paul and Tamsin. I said, leading Sally and
Gail over to the group and introducing them to each other.
Once theyre all chatting, I go to find a plate of food for myself
it takes time working my way across to the dining room as I am
hailed on all sides by people who want to talk to me, but eventually I
get there.
Standing at the table, plate in hand, trying to decide if I want a
one of those interesting looking Chinese things or a piece of quiche, I
find Gary at my elbow.
That was rather nicely done, Jane. He said as I turn surprised.
Gails a bit on the shy side these days.
Oh dear, was I that obvious?
No, not at all. I just happened to be standing talking to Giles
who saw what you did. Lets see if anything comes out of it. He
said happily. The partys going well, Jane. I like that chap, Mark.
Hi, Alastair.
Nice to see you, Gary. Foods brilliant, Jane. Alastair said
helping himself to what he gleefully informs me is his second plateful
of food, Jo tells me youre going to get a piano here sensible idea.
Ill be in touch next week with a list of concerts .. wed better get
moving on some music.
Oh do you sing, Jane? Gary asked.
I do now. I said dryly watching Alastair disappear into the
crowd Gary laughs.
Im sitting talking to Lizzie when Giles comes to find me.
Jane, its only fifteen minutes to midnight theyll be taking
round the fizz shortly for the toast. Can you help round everyone up

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so that theyre in the hall to hear the clock strike we should get
everyone in. If you start in the conservatory and work inwards, Ill
take the dining room.
As the countdown to midnight starts, Giles appears at my side.
As the first note of midnight strikes, he raises his glass and, in a loud
voice, proposes a toast to the New Year. The twelfth strike sounds as
we drink and everyone starts shouting Happy New Year and
hugging each other.
Giles pulls me into the corner behind us, one arm round my
waist.
To us, my lady, and a very happy New Year.
To us, Giles. I said, reaching up to kiss him.
Our moment of peace is short-lived, someone I suspect Colin
starts up a conga line and soon, a string of people is romping
around the place I see Gail laughingly hanging on to Paul
somewhere in the middle of the line. Like us, Mark and Sarah have
taken refuge on the sidelines.
An hour later, people start leaving and by 2.00 a.m., a mere
handful of us remain. With Jos help, I organise some coffee and we
sit around in the lounge chatting quietly while the caterers efficiently
remove all evidence of the invasion and disappear. It is gone three
before we close the door on the last visitor Sarah and Mark
vanished a while back.
I think we can consider that a success. Giles said in a very
satisfied tone of voice, as he sits on the bed taking off his shoes.
Everyone seems to have enjoyed it.
I go over and stand in front of him, bending to kiss him.
It was a tremendous success, Giles.
I got lots of comments about you, my lady. I was told how
lovely you are, how talented you are, how good a hostess you are,
how happy you are making me look and what was the other one
.. he said counting them off on his fingers, oh, yes, .. how lucky I
am but I know that.
Not nearly as lucky as I am, Giles. I replied as he unfastened
my dress for me. Hey, thats taking unfair advantage!
Nonsense! Just exercising my rights.

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I pull myself out of his reach so I can hang my dress up. I am

not leaving that in a heap on the floor! That done, I turn back to him,
Now, where were we .. I said, and he chuckles as he reaches
for me.

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39.

AFTER

Giles obviously woke before me when I open my eyes, his

side of the beds empty I close my eyes again and lie here
wondering what the time might be I could look at the clock but
that seems rather energetic for several minutes, I lie here drifting in
and out of sleep .. then I hear the door open and a voice I know well
says in an amused tone of voice :
I know youre awake, Jane.
I can smell coffee. Gingerly, I open my eyes.
Giles is sitting on the bed holding a mug out to me. Carefully
and slowly, so as not to spill it, I sit up wrapping the duvet round
myself, smile at him and take it.
Thanks . whats the time?
About eleven. Howre you feeling?
A bit tired but okay other than that You?
His big smile tells me hes fine. Sickening man! I think I
probably drank rather more than usual last night at least thats the
general feeling I have at the moment. Not precisely hungover, but
definitely hanging.
Sarah and Mark materialised yet? I asked, sipping my coffee.
Yes, theyre having breakfast downstairs. Its only you whos
still in bed, lazybones!
I stick my tongue out at him, making him laugh even more.
I suppose I had better get up then.
Not at all. Said a voice from the doorway. Ive brought you
some toast, Jane. I hope thats okay.
Come in, Sarah. Toast is wonderful. Did you sleep well?
Yes, thanks. She replied bringing the plate over to the bed and
batting her brother lightly over the head on the way. Well be off in
an hour or so Marks just going through the bathroom. That was
some party last night.
Glad you enjoyed it. Giles said hes looking very relaxed
this morning which is nice to see. Your bloke made quite an impact.
Especially on the local ladies! Sarah replied dryly Did you
see him clinging to Jane for rescue?

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Giles laughs commenting that hes been on the receiving end for
long enough about time they had a bash at someone else.
What day is it? I asked plaintively, Ive lost track now.
Wednesday, you daft woman. Replied my fianc lovingly
the first of January, why?.
I start work tomorrow. I said by way of response flopping
back against the pillows, munching a mouthful of toast and
marmalade, Ive got to get organised.
Well go over to Lizzie House this afternoon, shall we? Then
youll be in with a chance tomorrow. Giles said I need the car a
couple of days next week . will you be able to manage with taxis?
I should think so. I responded with a noticeable lack of
enthusiasm work seems one bridge too far this morning it has
been a very busy few days.
Youll have to get her a car, Giles. Sarah said bringing me
up right away.
Oh no he wont I can get one myself once I have some pay
coming in. I said firmly as Giles rocks with silent laughter and Sarah
looks stunned.
Youve not met the strong-minded Jane yet, have you Sarah?
he said that bloody grin in evidence yet again. You wait until
shes promised to obey
Giles!
I started but Sarah jumps in before I can go any
further.
Jane, get used to it hes a bossy so and so.
Well see about that!
Just like her mother! Giles crowed, stopping me in my tracks.
What am I taking on?
Youll survive. Sarah said with a wry smile. Jane, shall I
take this reprobate away so you can get up?
If you would, Sarah. I replied and, his reproaches echoing
round the room, she drags him off while I get up.
Sarah and Mark leave just after twelve and, after a couple of
hours pottering round the house, we organise ourselves sufficiently to
drive over to Lizzies.
Lizzie is, as Tina informs us with a definite air of satisfaction,
having a quiet sit down in the Pink Room; we go to join her.

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Jane! Lovely to see you and you Giles. Lizzie exclaimed

as we go in, Terrific party last night.
Glad you enjoyed it.
I wander over to have look at the tree it still looks rather
good. We chat generally about the party for a while discussing the
various people who were there.
I had a very interesting conversation with that young man of
Sarahs. Lizzie said, Hes quite taken with her, I think.
Yes, we got that impression. I said, going over to sit with
them, Nice chap.
Very made quite an impression on your Aunt Joan, Giles.
Didnt you notice? She stood chatting to him for nearly half an hour
at one point.
Poor man hasnt got a chance then if both Sarah and Aunt Joan
have taken a liking to him. Giles said Jane, how about showing me
the progress youve made in the apartment? I havent had a look at it
since youve been ripping off the wallpaper. We wont be long,
Lizzie.
The lounge-which-is-yet-to-be is very echoey as we stand in
there. The curtains have been taken down and, with the wallpaper off
and the carpet up, it seems very large. We look at the floorboards
theyre pretty well laid with no gaps and, after a close inspection, we
decide that they would look rather good stained a nice medium oak.
Ill have a word with my builder, Jane. Hed do it for us it
would be a pig of a job doing it ourselves and, with you back at work
tomorrow, time is going to be tight. Maybe we could go looking for
some furniture at the weekend, theres a shop in town which Id rather
like to show you.
No point getting anything until weve done the floor, Giles.
He quickly reminds me that there is plenty of space downstairs
for storing furniture and now, with the sales on, is the time to go for
it.
I suppose youre right.
Ill ask him about the kitchen at the same time, shall I, Jane?
what sort of units and whatever do you want in there?
We walk along the hall and stand looking at the empty room.

426

If we put the sink along that wall under the window, then we
could have a worktop with hob and combination oven down that side
I said thoughtfully Well need some flooring put down
what colour do you fancy?
This is your domain, my lady. What do you fancy?
I stand there trying to imagine.
We could repeat the oak motif in here, you know, then the
apartment would hang together. What do you think? Would these
floorboards take staining as well? The house is lovely and warm and
a bright rug could set it off a sort of civilised rustic effect.
I see what you mean Yes, that could be effective. Well have
to give thought to the bedroom as well.
Yes, but I like the dark wood in there, it goes well with the feel
of the room. Id like to do the walls a lovely deep pink though.
Oh, Jane, this is wonderful! Giles said, coming up behind me
and putting his arms round me, resting his chin against my hair. Its
going to be good.
I remind him of that when the alarm clock goes off at its usual
hour. Im running him to the station today so have to get up and
dressed.
Enjoy your day. He said as I kiss him goodbye, Hope
everything goes well.
I present myself at Bernies just before nine, dressed in my suit
I decided in the end that I didnt want to work in jeans I feel
more professional in my suit. I had to park up the road a little way,
obviously not everyone is back at work yet.
Bernie is wandering around the house looking distracted due,
she says, to working out where the plot is going now there are a
couple of tapes for me to get on with and very soon Im immersed in
the activities of her detective and his latest mystery. Its unexpectedly
enjoyable getting my hands back on a keyboard and I find the words
just flow from my fingers. Bernie dictates very clearly, putting in
punctuation as she goes which is quite an art. I once tried it you
have to think of what you are going to say before you say it in order to
get things like speech marks in the right places. Very difficult.

427

Mid morning, she appears with a tray and tells me in no

uncertain terms that its time I had a break. I dont fight it my eyes
are aching .
Coffee and buns vital, I feel, Jane. Very good party the
other night, by the way. Had a great time. Got chatting to Alastairs
father fascinating man.
I managed a brief word with him. There were so many people
to talk to I couldnt talk to anyone for very long.
Giles looked happy. Bernie commented, Lizzie was too she
told me what you got her for Christmas. Glad the suggestion helped.
How are you getting on with the work? Any problems?
No, not at all, Bernie. You dictate very clearly it is easy to
transcribe. The story is unfolding nicely too; I read through the
portion you let me have and it all seems to hang together quite well.
Mmmmm, not so sure about that. Theres a problem with the
dog what am I going to do with it now its owner has been
murdered? I needed it there so that she could take it for a walk to
meet the murderer but now
I see what you mean, Bernie, it cant just disappear can it? I
replied, thinking about the problem. A neighbour could take it in, or
perhaps it could just escape and get run over or something.
Neighbour now thats a thought. If the neighbour takes the
dog in, she could discover something in the house which would turn
the murderers attention on her the only link being the dog . yes,
thats a definite thought. Thank you, Jane.
Her mind on the plot, Bernie wanders off into the other room to
work out the convolutions and I get back to the chapter I am working
on.
Lunchtime, Bernie suggests we go up t he road to the little pub
on the corner. It does light meals and, she argues, it would do us both
good to get out of the house. The pub is obviously the haunt of the
local artistic fraternity; we meet up with several people Bernie knows.
Janes my new secretary, Bernie said to John, a musician,
(late middle age and balding).
Nice to meet you, Jane. He said, introducing me to Fran, his
wife, explaining that she lectures in English.

428

Shes rather plump and jolly and, while we wait for our food,
she starts discussing the motif of virtue in Victorian melodrama with
me at least, she talks to me and I grunt occasionally in what I hope
is an intelligent manner.
The food in the pub is basic but high-quality; I make a mental
note that I am definitely going to have to start taking some exercise or
else I shall get extremely fat. When the weather gets warmer, I could
probably walk over here from Lizzie House it can only be about three
miles.
Lunch is decidedly not to office hours its nearly two thirty
by the time we get back to Bernies place but she doesnt seem
bothered and goes off to dictate the next chunk spurred on by a
conversation with John about piano wires. By five, Ive had enough
and Bernie cheerfully tells me to turn off the computer and go home.
Youve got through a lot today, Jane. Youre fast, Ill say that
for you. Ill print that lot off and read it through tonight so you can do
the revisions tomorrow. Love to Lizzie. She said as she closes the
door behind me.
I wonder what time Giles will be back tonight. We havent
arranged anything. I quickly send a text message to him asking what
train hell be getting, and start the car. The reply comes just as I
draw into the forecourt at Lizzie House Ill get the 5.40 see you
at Oldfield Park. XX G
Right, its just coming up to ten past five now so Ive got time to
go and see Lizzie before going to collect him. Tina is crossing the
hall as I go in and calls a welcome across.
How was you first day?
Great! Howre things here?
Back to normal, pretty well. Weve spent most of the day
sorting the furniture in the Pink Room ready for the writing circle
tomorrow. Alastair made the big mistake of coming over to run
through some music while Jos still at home with Ellie, and got
dragged in. I dont think he minded though he had a long chat with
Lizzie. I gather that the parental visit was a massi ve success. His dad
was very impressed by your party, by the way. What time is Giles
getting back? I thought dinner at seven is that okay?

429

Should be fine. Ive got to get down to the station for about six
to pick him up. Nice to be back to normal after so much partying.
I run up the stairs into the Pink Room where Lizzie is sorting
through some paperwork.
Hello, dear. She said with a smile, as I kiss her cheek. How
was your day?
Good. I enjoyed it. We went out for lunch to the pub on the
corner and met up with John and Fran do you know them?
John and Fran ..? Lizzie said thoughtfully staring into space
for a moment ... Hes a musician? Shes rather round and talks a
lot?
Yes, thats them. She talked to me about Victorian melodrama
I learned a lot. I replied with a grin, taking a seat beside her.
What times Giles train?
Same as usual Ive got a few minutes before Ive got to go
and collect him. I replied, answering her tacit question. Bernies
lovely have you seen her in work mode? Shes rather fun.
No, Ive never been around when shes been writing does she
go all vague on you?
Not so much vague as distracted. She wanders around the
house picking things up and then looking at them in a surprised
manner. More importantly, she was pleased with what I did.
Good.
Lizzie laid her pen down on the heap of papers.
Giless builder came round this afternoon to look at the floor in
your lounge and kitchen, Jane, and he also took measurements for the
plumbing to be done in the kitchen. He mentioned that hes got a few
days before he starts his next job and hopes to get the floors done
before next week which means you should be able to start getting the
place straight.
Thats good news. Giless suggested that we go furniture
hunting at the weekend, so that would fit in pretty well; once Ive
made my mind up about the kitchen units, he can get those put in.
Im really looking forward to entertaining you in our apartment,
Lizzie.
You are a sweetie, Jane! You know, Christmas was fun, but it
will be a relief to get back to normal. There is only so much partying

430

one can take, though I never thought I would say such a thing.
Maybe Im getting old.
I dont think so!
She grins at me mischievously.
Look at the clock, Jane, youd better go and find that man of
yours.

*****
Oldfield Park is cold and dark and damp but its rather soothing
sitting looking up the shadowy railway track towards Bristol Giles
will be along soon I hug the thought tightly to myself. These
moments on my own are few and far between these days and I relish
them wed better start making serious plans for the wedding I
wonder if Giles will want to invite his relations in France I must
ask him about that.
The lights of the train are just visible now, growing larger as the
train gets closer and I stand up, my heart leaping at the thought of the
man who is on it. Life is very good.

431

PLANS OF LIZZIE HOUSE

Ground Floor

utility room
Music room

Kitchen
Loo
stairs
Loo

hall
Rehearsal rooms

First floor
Bathroom
Lizzies Bedroom
Separate loo
Pink Room

Ground floor

hall

door to patio

back door

stairwell

Ground floor

Dining room

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Second floor

Bathroom

Janes Bedroom
hall
stairwell

Top floor Tinas flat

Bathroom
lounge

flat roof

hall

kitchenette

stairwell
TinasWhat
bedroom
spare room
colour scheme are you going to have, Jane? Lizzie asked

Weve finished all the measuring and Tinas gone off to start thinking about dinner.

433