ed970926 Issue 913.
qxd 07/05/98 14:14
Issue 913 - Weekly
The Long Goodbye
n estimated 1600 first
A years moved into
their residences last
Sunday, leaving tearful
parents scattered about the
University’s car parks.
They were assisted by an
army of 170 helpers who
worked all day in the sun to
ensure that event ran
smoothly.
Sam Birmingham, respon-
sible for co-ordinating
intro-week, was pleased
that the day had gone so
smoothly. “A box of food,
a red rug, and a brown
suede jacket have gone
missing, which isn’t bad
when you consider the
number of van-loads of
property involved” she
said. Some unclaimed
property remains at
Cathedral Court reception.
Even Charles Rhodes, a
BBC correspondent filming
the arrival for the following
day’s Breakfast News,
called the organisation on
the day “very impressive”.
The TV feature, broadcast
the following morning,
included a live interview
with the Students’ Union
President, the Vice-
Chancellor, and Daniel
Eade, a first year music
technology student.
The afternoon brought the
greatest rush, with new stu-
dents arriving by the dozen
News 1 n Features 3
Cinema and Arts 8 n Union News 9
Page 1 (1,1)
Friday 26th September 1997
Matt Pannell
Editor
in taxis, hired vans, and -
half asleep - in foreign-reg-
istered cars. While some
students arriving from
overseas found themselves
limited by luggage
allowances to just a couple
of bags, others seemed to
have packed more thor-
oughly.
One exhausted helper, who
had just helped to move
nine trolley-loads and five
suitcases to a room in the
top floor of a Cathedral
Court house, said that by
the time the last boxes had
been stacked, she could see
no space left for a student.
The calm organisation and
warm weather brought a
sense of relaxation for
some, one fresher leaning
on his car for a quick ciga-
rette before starting to
unload the hundreds of cans
of baked beans piled in the
back. University security
staff were observed early in
the day ominously carrying
A First Year Student says her last goodbyes on Sunday Photo: Stuart Parker
wheelclamps. It later
turned out that they were
being removed from the An intro week helper gets
backs of vans, to make his tea in on Sunday
room for the tea and boxes morning
of biscuits which were
Photo: Stuart Parker
given out to helpers around
campus.
(more pictures on page 2...)
n Letters 4 n Music 6 n Entertainments Guide 7 .
n Notices & Personals 10 n Sports 11 .
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2 News Friday 26th September 1997 n

Attacked at Knife-
The long goodbye
(photos continued from page one)

point
urrey Police are appealing for popular club nights, and students

S witnesses to come forward

after a woman was attacked
on Walnut Tree Close in the early
hours of Saturday morning. The
young woman was dragged into an
alley at knife-point, but the attacker
ran off when she screamed.
Although she escaped uninjured, the
incident highlights the need for stu-
dents to be extra vigilant when
walking to and from campus, espe-
cially with the dark winter evenings
fast approaching.
Andy Gale
Tony Watling, Head of University
Security, called the attack “very
disturbing”, and advised students to
follow personal safety advice care-
fully. “It is important that students
avoid unlit pedestrian routes to the
University, especially the footpath
in the area of Yorkie’s Bridge,
unless they are in groups”, he said.
The Union and Security run a free
minibus from town to campus on
are strongly advised to make use of
the service. Those walking back are
encouraged to take advantage of the
cheap attack alarms available at the
Student Fest this Saturday, or from
the Security Office all year.
Anybody with any information on
the attack should contact Detective
Constable McIvor on Guildford
531111. Students with any personal
safety queries should speak to the
Security Office in the Senate House
Foyer (ext 2002)

Vice-Chancellors Endorse
Tuition fees
ice-Chancellors from universi- versities will receive.

V ties across Britain whole-

heartedly endorsed the propos-
Andy

al for tuition fees of up to £1,000 at last week’s confer-

ence of the Committee of Vice-Chancellors and
Principals (CVCP).
The Vice-Chancellors proposed a new partnership
between themselves and students, offering wider access
to higher education, enhanced quality of education, and
a new framework to guarantee educational standards.
The CVCP chairman, Professor Martin Harris, stressed
that the partnership would only work if “this
Government honours its side of the deal and ensures
that higher education has the resources it needs.”
However, Vice-Chancellors are so far refusing to rule
out the possibility of introducing top-up fees - addition-
al fees set by individual universities - preferring to keep
their cards close to their chest until the Government
announces exactly how much of the £1,000 fees the uni-
Gale Somewhat disappointingly, the new
partnership does not seem to include
any significant public support from the Vice-
Chancellors on the issue of student hardship. Although
they have acclaimed the fees quite openly in the media,
they fail to make any mention of the planned abolition
of student maintenance grants by 1999.
Despite seeming to have died down lately, the contro-
versy over fees is set to come to a head before long with
students’ unions organising protests as students return
to a new term. The National Union of Students remains
firmly opposed to fees, in spite of the news from the
Vice Chancellors. Surrey students are to be encouraged
to take part in a week of action over the changes, to
involve a protest in either Brighton or Southampton, as
well as a campaign centred in Guildford.

A new face at Bare Facts

Sarah Gyles
Bare Facts Secretary
kay, so last year the infa-
So if you fancy
yourself as a bit of
a journalist or just
want to contribute

O mous Liz M sat in this hot

seat, and now the privilege
falls to me to spend a year making
occasionally, drop
in to the
Bare Facts
Newsroom in the
the Editor’s life hell. But would I Union.
do that to Matt, “top readers recom- That’s all from me
mend him”, Pannell? Well why not for now, so I hope
- you’ve got to do something for a you like the new
laugh! look Bare Facts
To introduce myself - very briefly - and any contribu-
I’m a second year nutrition and t i o n s /
dietetics student, who also happens comments/letters
to be secretary of the University’s are always wel-
Canoe Club. come.
Officially Bare Facts Secretary, I
also have the dubious titles of
Photo: Stuart Parker
Advertising Manager, Deputy
Editor and general Dogs Body!!
I have a variety of aims for this
year’s Bare Facts, one of the most
important being the social side of
the paper. We have a number of fea-
tures planned that involve going out
and about in Guildford.
ed970926 Issue 913.qxd 07/05/98 14:14 Page 3 (1,1)

n Friday 26th September 1997 Features 3

‘Kicked in the ass by adventure’ a

Christian in Israel
his summer I it.

T had a pretty
good time. I
Chris Brookes So, what I did.....I
worked on a kibbutz
want to tell you a bit about it so in the north of Israel (near the
maybe you might try something Lebanese border) for two months
similar or at least find it interesting. then travelled around Israel and the
For two and a half months I worked Sinai desert (Egypt) for two and a
and travelled in Israel. Israel is a half weeks.
pretty crazy place. People have A kibbutz is a communal society in
been fighting over the land it occu- which everything is owned by the
pies for thousands of years. Its quite kibbutz and private property is lim-
a scary place too. While I was there ited to personal possessions. “The
there were the double suicide bomb- desire to establish a just and egali-
ings in Jerusalem, an eighty shell tarian society is the basic principal
rocket attack in the north from guiding kibbutz life, together with a
Lebanon and murders of tourists in commitment to undertake tasks
Eilat. Its not a very big place- top to important to the development of
bottom its about as far as Israel. The first kibbutz was found-
Southampton to Newcastle- but it ed nearly eighty years ago and there
contains such contrasts in cultures are now some three hundred kib-
and geography that its like a conti- butzim” (Kibbutz Representatives
nent in itself. I won’t go in to the info.) So, what this means: every-
history and the current problems of one gets up early, works for about
good and bad of the ideology and offers of accommodation all round regions, Dahab in Sinai where the
the middle-eastern situation. That is eight hours a day six days a week
the changes of it over the years, but the world which should come in snorkling blew my mind and many
a volume on its own, and despite (with Shabbat- Saturday- off) and
not here. handy. Every kibbutz is different places around and between these.
having read about it, having been the kibbutz gives them everything
So, this lifestyle, in some ways though and every person has a dif- Overall the whole thing blew my
there and having talked to people they need. Again, there is a lot to be
unique to Israel appealed to me, and ferent experience of it. It is no par- mind and infected me with a
(including Israelis) about it, I only said about the kibbutz movement,
as a Christian I thought it would be adise and as in everything there are un/healthy wanderlust. I can talk
know that I don’t really understand how it started, where it is going, the
interesting to see where the one who good and bad bits but, as in every- about the things I did and saw but no
I’ve given my life to actually lived thing I think you can learn and words can really capture the vibe
while here on Earth. become tougher. and the intense feelings I had travel-
I was a builder/handyman on the Then travelling. Just me my ruck- ling about that place on my own.
kibbutz which was hard work. sack and God. If ever I needed a The spectacular and diverse geogra-
There was plenty of time though to ‘good shepherd’, a ‘friend’ and phy of the place, the history of it, so
relax by the pool and hang out with ‘companion’ it was then. It was relevant to my life and the sense of
my fellow volunteers. There was tougher than I had imagined to achievement of doing it made it the
such a mix, all kinds of people from begin with but once I got over the best summer of my life.
just about every country it seemed. shock of living like dirt and having And the most full-on sun tan.
That’s the main advantage of being no money everything was good. My
a volunteer, meeting and making Bible got well thumbed those Check it out for your self and get
friends with so many people from weeks. your ass kicked by adventure.
all over the world in the strange sit- I travelled all over, taking in the lush Contact: Kibbutz Representatives,
uation of the kibbutz. green beauty of the north, the Sea of 1A Accommodation Road, Golders
And getting a sun tan. Galilee, the crazy and ancient Green, London, NW1 8ED
I had such a good time there and Jerusalem, the floatacious Dead
made some good friends - I have Sea, the amazing southern desert

Cookery Corner
o Spaghetti Bolognese prepare everything beforehand, so turkey and garlic, remove and stir-

S was a doddle and you feel

like more of a challenge?
Well, look no further. This
week’s recipes are based on the
art of stir-frying, which has to be
the quickest, and probably
healthiest way to cook. Purists
will say that stir-frying really
requires a wok, but if you
haven’t got one, or can’t borrow
one from a kind final year, then a
large frying pan will do just as
well
The whole point of stir-frying is to
cook things very quickly, so always
remember to use a high heat (and let
the pan warm up first) and to chop
your ingredients into roughly equal
size pieces (usually strips about the
length of a matchstick). It’s best to
you can throw them all in at the
right time. The key to stir-frying is
to stir continuously, so nothing has
the chance to burn.
Simple Turkey Stir-fry
What you’ll need: Wok or large
frying pan, spatula.
Ingredients: Turkey steak (turkey is
a lot cheaper than chicken and tastes
pretty much the same), red or green
pepper, carrot, onion, soy sauce,
pinch of five-spice powder or a chi-
nese oxo cube, vegetable oil.
Thinly slice all the vegetables and
the turkey. Heat the wok and add
about a teaspoon of vegetable oil
(don’t use olive oil, as it doesn’t get
Helen Wright
hot enough). When the oil starts to
smoke, add the turkey and stir con-
tinuously until it’s cooked all the
way through, adding about a table-
spoon of soy sauce as you go. When
the turkey is cooked, remove it from
the pan onto a plate, and add the
vegetables and the five-spice pow-
der or chinese oxo cube and stir-fry
for three minutes. Put the turkey
back in and add a little more soy-
sauce and stir for another minute or
two. Serve with rice or noodles.
This recipe can be used as the base
for a number of dishes by adding
one of the range of stir-fry sauces
available. For vegetarians, try using
one or two more vegetables instead
of the turkey – beansprouts are
always good and cook very quickly.
Matty B’s Chow Mein
What you’ll need: Wok or large
frying pan, spatula, saucepan,
mug or measuring jug.
Ingredients: Stir-fry turkey,
beansprouts, red or green pepper,
onion, clove of garlic, chicken stock
cube, soy sauce, vegetable oil, noo-
dles.
Chop the vegetables as before and
finely chop the garlic. Boil a kettle
and make up chicken stock using
about a mug/half pint of boiling
water. Heat the pan and add a small
amount of oil. Put the noodles in the
saucepan, add some salt, and cover
with boiling water. These will now
cook by themselves. Stir-fry the
fry the vegetables for about three
minutes. Put the turkey back in the
pan and add the chicken stock and a
tablespoon of soy sauce. Simmer for
another couple of minutes, stirring
often. Test the noodles and drain
when cooked. Add the noodles to
the pan, if it’s big enough, and stir
everything together, then serve
immediately. If the pan isn’t big
enough to add the noodles, then just
put them on the plate and spoon the
rest over them.
This week’s column is dedicated to
the infamous Matty B, who in his
heyday would charm groups of up to
ten sexy French girls at a time by
cooking them his chow mein, and
then take them out to the Union, get
drunk, and insult them all.
ed970926 Issue 913.qxd 07/05/98 14:14 Page 4 (1,1)
4 Letters/Editorial Friday 26th September 1997 n
“” Quotes of the week “” Editorial
“I wouldn’t miss this day for the world” FRESHERS: THE
Richard Paxton, University Accommodation Manager, on moving-in day
WORST IS OVER
“It’s a very sad day”
Former MP and writer Edwina Currie, announcing news of her divorce on Monday The paperwork will still go on
for a while (about four years),
“Has anyone got a box of matches? I’ll go and burn something down” but the new first years, the worst
Jeff Blackham, Bare Facts, on the week’s lack of news stories of the suffering is over. The has-
sle of getting up on a Sunday,
followed by an entire week of
hard lifting, nightmare adminis-
tration, droning speeches, and,
worst of all, cooking. And all
that without any mates. By
Monday, there was stage-diving
in the Union (there wasn’t even a
band), so things are already
looking up. From now on in, life
as a first year just gets better.
FUNDING: STILL NO
RESULT
Tuesday’s announcement by
Education Secretary David
Blunkett of an extra £160 mil-
lion for higher education comes
as a welcome surprise.
For a government whose fund-
ing policy has so far been as reli-
Well, Someone likes it! Do you. Write and tell us what you think.
able as the Mir space station, the
Photo: Stuart Parker
news should be treated with a
degree of caution. The cash is to
come from ‘elsewhere in the
education budget’, and only if
this happens without affecting
frontline services in schools and
colleges should the news be wel-
comed. As the move to tuition
fees looks more likely, so Vice-
Chancellors are becoming
increasingly concerned that the
money raised from students will
not actually be spent on univer-
sities.
The entire justification for fees
is based on the notion that ‘stu-
dents are the ones who feel the
benefit of degrees, so it is the
students who should contribute’.
Tuition fees, then, are like fares
on the underground or tolls on a
bridge: you make a contribution
in exchange for a service. To fol-
low this line of argument up to
the point where the money is
paid, and then ditch it altogether,
would be a real feat of logic.
Just as the people crossing a toll
bridge would feel quite indig-
nant if it were to collapse under-
neath them, the next generation
of students are entitled to expect
a visible return on their invest-
ment.
ed970926 Issue 913.qxd 07/05/98 14:14 Page 5 (1,1)

n Friday 26th September 1997 Features 5

ed970926 Issue 913.qxd 07/05/98 14:14
6 Music
SINGLES ALBUMS
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
CHICANE / POWER CIRCLE - Offshore ‘97 (Xtravaganza)
Blazing tune! This is the anthem from the Summer of ‘97 without a doubt, those
who haven’t heard it are not house fans or clubbers! This is the definitive sound
of club music for this year. ‘Red Skies”, the B-Side, is a happy, summery tune
that will be heard, I’m sure, for many months to come. Reminds me of Summer
evenings on the rocks outside Cafe Del Mar. Brilliant. 10/10 M.B.
OASIS - Stand By Me (Creation)
Totally set on world domination, this
single is their next step, if you are the
one person who hasn’t got the album
‘Be Here Now’ then this single is a
key to what you are missing. If you
have got the album, the b-sides are
well worth having look at especially
‘My Sister Lover’. 8/10 F.F.
PRESSURE DROP - Got To Be For
Real (Higher Ground)
Sad vocals, dark organ and synth
loops, pounding beats, and a sub-
merged bass line combine to give ‘Got
To Be For Real’ a dark and sinister
feel. Success having eluded the group
in the past, this may be their chance to
finally get the recognition they rightly
deserve. 8/10 P.A.
PORTISHEAD - All Mine (Go Beat)
No departure from the formula which
brought them success in 1994 with the
brilliant debut album ‘Dummy.’ The
only surprise is that it has been 3 years
since we first heard such songs as
‘Sour Times’ and ‘Glory Box.’ In 1994
these songs were groundbreaking;
today they are remembered as part of
that year. ‘All Mine’ will do likewise
in 1997. 8/10 J.B
DJ HYPE/ THE GANJA KRU -
Gone Are The Days (True Playaz)
Summer Madness is the opening verse
of the track. How True. The track has a
breezy, laid-back, rhythmic ambient
freshness to it. It also contains a lot of
signature Hype sounds on it. Definitely
a club hit. The remixes aren’t bad
either. 8/10 S.L
DAVID DEVANT & HIS SPIRIT
WIFE - Lie Detector (Rhythm King)
An excellent display of indie coolness
which hits you from the word play.
The fact that he sounds like a indie
version of Sisters Of Mercy doesn’t
detract from the quality of this song.
8/10 F.F.
JONNY LANG - Lie To Me (A+M)
16 years old Jonny Lang is certainly a
talented blues guitarist as he certainly
shows in this infectious slice of soulful
blues. He is tipped for a great future, it
is easy to hear why. 7/10 R.W.
CABLE - God Gave Me Gravity
(Infectious)
More taut melodic hardcore from
THE PECADILOES - Initial Transmission EP (Fine Art)
Turning their back on the success of previous single ‘USSO’ with its clear punk
influences, The Pecs have released an EP that will disturb their part-time follow-
ers. Layers of guitar blend with various samples to create an irresistible sound.
Twin vocals enhance this variety further so that the band can sound like
Subcircus, Supergrass or U2 circa ‘Joshua Tree.’ 9/10 J.B.
Page 6 (1,1)
Friday 26th September 1997 n
V/A - An Introspective of House (3rd Beat)
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
PORTISHEAD -
Portishead (Go
Dimension)
After a lengthy
This compilation continues in the vein absence from the
of the previous ‘Introspective’ dance
trip scene which
projects, giving us a triple pack of the has seen acts like
most up front house tunes mixed by
Tricky and
well-respected DJ’s currently on the cir- Nicolette go from
cuit. The first CD, ‘A Funkier Side Of strength to
Dance’, is mixed smoothly by John strength,
Cable. Not as immediate as previous
Kelly and features a variety of highly- Portishead are
singles, but still pretty good. 7/10 R.W.
respected labels. He starts off well with back. Often cred-
‘Are You Out There’ by Crescendo, ited with starting
SPACE MONKEYS - Sugar Cane
which is a dreamy floorfiller with a the whole Bristol
(Factory)
pumping bass line. The big bang begins trip pop move-
A cool, breezy, lovely happy pop song
with the eighth tune ‘Frontiers’ by ment, Portishead
that makes you feel like going out and
Spirito featuring acid-sounding 303s released one
hugging trees. Or something.7/10 A.M.
giving it a techno-like feel and a hard- flowing ambient
hitting bassline. We are then taken to song after anoth-
THE CRYSTAL METHOD - Busy
the highest level as he slips into’Seven er. Songs like
Child (Sony S2)
Days and One Week’ by B.B.E, which ‘Glory Box’ and
Four mixes on this single, the first two
is still being caned all over London, and ‘Numb’ helped
verge on triphop with a definite break-
is bound to get anyone on the dance- their album
beat pattern, but remain merely aver-
floor. Unfortunately, the set tapers off. become one of
age due to their repetitiveness. The
A shame as it looked good... The sec- the most popular
fourth is similar, but explores a trancey
ond CD, ‘Faster, More Pumping album of 1994.
side of triphop, complete with warped
Dance’, is faultlessly mixed by Tony De One look at the
samples and piano breaks. The third
Vit. He begins with a couple of “head- cover and you
mix makes this single worth buying,
nodders” and swiftly begins the party realise that little
with a thumping bass-line and space-
with the bouncy ‘Gunsmoke’ by has changed, the
age samples, retaining the lyrics (near
Boomboys with its unmistakeable NWA layout is the same
the end). Definitely worth a look-in if
voice sample. This are no less than cinema style that was used last time. A at least 6 great songs on this album, any
you like proper trance. 7/10 M.B.
what you’d expect from Tony, as he very abstract picture on the front cover of which could be a single. ‘Only you’
prefers the uplifting, hard-hitting style. which could mean anything. This makes standing out as a chilling, moving track.
MONACO - Shine (Someone Who
By far the best CD of the three. Third, it look like an extension to their last The problems? well it is more of the
Needs Me) (Polydor)
we have the rookie Sonique with ‘The album rather than a completely new same. There is nothing earth shattering-
Possibly the best song from the album,
Deeper, Emotional Style Of Dance’ effort. ‘Mourning Air’, The track they ly new from Portishead. This will mean
which incidentally is rubbish unless
complete with her own voice-overs. Her did for the ‘Help’ LP is here, along with that any trip pop fans will love this but
you still like New Order. The band pull
mixing needs honing, but her selection their new single ‘All Mine’ which give new fans will just get bored and confuse
the only surprise they could think of
is more exotic, with a great deal of the album a sense of familiarity, but this with their last album. 7/10 F.F.
by replacing Peter Hook’s vocals with
dreamy tracks. Notably ‘Gamesmaster’ these tracks are there to complement the
David Potts’. An extremely catchy
by Lost Tribe affording solid, funky, album not overpower it. Portishead have
song which prevents me from giving it
warped synths adding to its trancey feel
the low marks it deserves for originali- soundtrack than a musical album, and we even hear the
- certainly my cup of tea! She follows through with some
ty. 6/10 J.B. theme tune for James Bond on the B-Side (unfortunately,
slightly darker tunes, and ends well with ‘Teach Me’ by The
one cannot differentiate between the tunes as there are no
Art of Silence. Throughout she provides us with haunting
SIRENES - Deep End (Columbia) gaps). Apart from this light refreshment, we hear from street
voice-overs that make up a good first mix album for her.
Haunting lyrics predominate through- druggies, who tell us the best place to get “what you need”
Certainly an album that I would go and buy, just from previ-
out the three mixes of this single, and “what’s available, man” allowing us a mental map of
ous experience with Introspective. Buy it....Or regret not
which says ambient all over it. New York should we want to buy Crack Cocaine, Heroin,
buying it! 7/10 M.B.
Certainly excellent listening for a Cannabis or other drugs. What can I say? This guy has obvi-
Sunday morning. Grooverider’s mix ously been on one of the above for too long. 4/10 M.B.
TRAVIS - Good Feeling (Independiente)
explores a sort of drum and bass that
For a band that was playing in our union last semester, this
sounds like slow hardstep. Tipper’s PRESSURE DROP - Elusive (Higher Ground)
lot seem to be doing alright. The music press has labeled
mix keeps the haunting lyrics but cre- Pressure Drop... somewhere in time, someone decided to put
them the new Radiohead, yet they have more in common
ates an almost triphop bass-line. this album together... I say this coz this is damn hard to
with Oasis - crap lyrics, great tunes, an ability to combine
Altogether, low key, easy listening. review. Its raw, rough, jagged beats, with a touch of inno-
great rock anthems with calmer melodies, plus the fact that
6/10 M.B. cence, make it all sound good. But, somewhere my mind
they have the opening support slot on Oasis’ current tour.
leaves the plot...meaning...the ‘Pressure’ really drops on
The album opens with the band’s first two singles; ‘All I
GARAGELAND - Nude Star your head. The tunes need refining, smoothing over....but
Wanna Do Is Rock’ (clearly influenced by Radiohead) and
(Discordant) perhaps this is the reason of their success? For the house,
‘U16 Girls’ which features such great lines as ‘Na na na na
Powerful and dense guitar sounds with techno and garage fan I’d say you’d love the metamorphosis,
na....’ These two are great tunes and opening the album with
a vaguely 80’s sounding vocal from but for me? No thanks. I.U.
them sets a dangerous precedent, which only the final few
these New Zealanders. The lead song
tracks live up to. The title track (a B-side on ‘U16 Girls’)
is vastly superior to the other tracks/
and the band’s latest single, ‘Tied To The 90’s’ are the
6/10 R.W.
albums lowest points. The album mellows out further on
‘More Than Us,’ sounding at times like Paul Weller and then
REDWOOD-Saltbox (Almo)
like The Longpigs. When listened to individually the songs
Sound familiar? These local boys are a
seem to be a disorganised mess, encompassing all the band’s
favorite with the metal journos at the
influences. As a debut album it’s quite impressive. 7/10 J.B.
moment. A blend of Foo Fighters, Led
Zep and Pumpkins. Not bad. 6/10 J.B.
THE SHIPPING NEWS - Save Everything
(Quarterstick)
This is one of those bands that crop up now and again full of
highly talented session musicians who no one’s ever heard
of, and as is so often the case, we get an off the wall but
interesting record. The ability of the musicians is first rate,
but thankfully this is not all they rely on. The music ranges
from fairly up-front American shouty rock at the start with THE SUNDAYS - Static & Silence (Parlophone)
‘Books On Trains’, which admittedly is slightly off putting, Anyone remember the Cardigans? Those lovable teeny pop-
to the hugely strange howling mess of tracks like ‘All By sters who have their 10 minutes of fame with ‘Lovefool’?
Electricity’. All said it’s original stuff and the wide variety Well meet their alter egos The Sundays. ‘Summertime’ kicks
of ideas make it a refreshing change. 6/10 A.M. off the album sounding like [insert name of female fronted
band here] but doesn’t really impress, the bits are all there
DAVID HOLMES - Let’s Get Killed (Go! Beat) but it just doesn’t all gel in. The songs are pleasant enough
This is a collaboration between samples from the streets of but it has all been done before. The rest of the tracks have
New York and American-influenced drum and bass. The lis- the same problem. There are some good tracks such as ‘I
tener is catapulted through the mind of David Holmes for Can’t Wait’ and ‘Cry’ but these get dragged down by the
about an hour. Unfortunately, this sounds more like a film averageness of the others. A nice album to listen to on a
sunny day when you haven’t a care in the world but there is
This weeks music brought to you by: Frank Fraulo, nothing that stands out, and, in a market that is overcrowded
James Bloomfield, Samuel S Lawal, Matthew Beal, with female bands like Meredith Brookes, Fiona Apple and
Paul Amani, Al Mooney, Ikaraam Ullah, Rob Winder. Amy Grant. Is not going to help much. 5/10 F.F.
ed970926 Issue 913.qxd 07/05/98 14:15 Page 7 (1,1)

n Friday 26th September 1997 Entertainments Guide 7

21:30 Dangerfield Friday - Saturday

Friday

21:00 Red Dwarf Contact (PG) 12:15, 15:35, 18:50, 22:10

26th

21:30 Shooting Stars

My Best Friends Wedding (12) 14:00, 16:35,
19:10, 21:45
21:00 Friends
With Chris Haslam 22:00 Frazier The Full Monty (15) 13:00, 15:30, 17:50,
£2 B4 10:30 £3 After 18:00/23.35 TFI Friday 20:15, 22:35

Face (12) 12:45, 15:15, 17:45, 20:15, 22:45

Featuring
Saturday

20:10 Casualty
Empirion
Spawn (12) 13:10, 15:35, 18:00, 20:25, 22:50
27th

Air Force One (15) 13:15, 16:05, 19:00, 21:55

AIM

ET
FE
ED

21:00 An Audience with Elton John

E
AT

TH
TH
AT

E
ED

FEE
AIM

DJ Leroy Wilson
SHAG 21:00 ER
The Leading Man (15) 13:15, 16:00, 18:45,
21:30
20k of 22:00 Drop the Dead Donkey

£5 Full Laser Show Mrs Brown (PG) 12:35, 15:05, 07:35, 20:10

Austin Powers (15) 14:20, 16:45, 19:10, 21:35

Sunday Night Live 20:00 Full Circle with Michael Palin

21:55 French and Saunders
Bean (PG) 12:15
Sunday

ROOTJOOSE
Event Horizon (18) 22:40 (Saturday only)
28th

21:00 London’s Burning Space Jam (U) 10:45 (Saturday only)

Free Entry!
23:10 Luxembourg Grand Prix
21:00 FILM: The Color Purple
Liar, Liar (12) 11:10 (Saturday only)
Jungle 2 Jungle (PG) 11:00 (Saturday only)
Batman and Robin (PG) 12:20 (Saturday only)
Warriors of virtue (PG) 11:05 (Saturday only)

Sunday - Thursday

Cocktails Contact (PG) 13:15, 16:35, 20:00

Monday

21:00 Absolutely Fabulous

22:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks
In the Main Lounge
My Best Friends Wedding (12) 12:40, 15:20,
29th

18:00, 20:40

7-11pm 22:00 NYPD Blue

22:00 The Sweeney
The Full Monty (15) 13:45, 16:10, 18:35, 21:00

Face (12) 12:55, 15:30, 18:05, 20:40

Football from SKY
Spawn (12) 13:15, 15:55, 18:20, 20:50

Bar Quiz 22:00 Match of the Day - Live Air Force One (15) 14:15, 17:15, 20:20
Thursday Wednesday Tuesday

The Leading Man (15) 12:30, 15:15, 18:00,

21:00 Have I got Old News for You
30th

Helyn Rose Bar 8pm 23:15 Seinfeld

20:10

£1 entry 23:35 The Larry Sanders Show Mrs Brown (PG) 12:35, 15:05, 17:35, 20:10
(NB No showings Wednesday)

Winner takes all! 20:30 Paul Merton in...Visiting Day

21:00 Soldier, Soldier Rumble in the Bronx (15) 13:15, 15:45, 18:15,
20:45 ( Monday 29 September only)

21:30 The X Files The English Patient (15) 12:45, 16:15, 20:00

Silly Night
(Wendesday 1 October only)
20:00 University Challenge
1st

Union All Night! 23:40 UEFA Champions League

Highlights

Fish Cornflake Banana 21:00 Driving Miss Daisy

Scream (18)
Chat Show 20:00 Animal Hospital
22:20 Clive Anderson Talks Back
Sunday 5 pm & 8pm
2nd

20:30 Top Gear Monday 8pm Lecture Theatre G

Subject: Accommodation
9 pm Main Union Stage 21:00 3d Rock from the Sun
Breaking the Waves
23:00 Open Mic Awards Wednesday 8pm LT G
ed970926 Issue 913.qxd 07/05/98 14:15 Page 8 (1,1)

8 Cinema and Arts Friday 26th September 1997 n

My Best Friend’s Unplugged

Wedding (Cert 12) What is UNPLUGGED?
LIVE MUSIC made by you for you - ANYTHING GOES - what ever
Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, Rupert Everett your talent this is your chance to get up on stage and shine, or simply
come and see some superb bands. Some of the bands and acts that played
magine getting to the grand old tion, she calls up her gay friend singing, all dancing Dionne

I age of 28 and still being single?

I know it doesn’t sound that
scary, but I am assured that single
Charles (Everett) to give her a hand.
Roberts’ tricks get dirtier and dirtier
in a vain effort to get the better of
Warwick cover, of which two more
feature later in the film. The other
stand out element is Rupert Everett,
last year were: Redwood, Labi Siffre, Keith Donnelly, Gilly Darby, Show
of Hands, John Otway, Les Barker, Robb Johnson, Kath Tait, Doug
Hudson and many more including many student floor singers.

status when you are 2 years shy of
the big three-o is not a pretty state in
which to be. This is how Julia
Roberts finds herself at the begin-
ning of P.J. Hogan’s latest film, ‘My
Best Friend’s Wedding’. What
makes things worse is that her child-
hood sweetheart, with whom she
made an oath to get married if nei-
ther of them had done so by the time
they were 28, is walking down the
ailse with a girl he has only known
for months! Admittedly, you can let
the poor guy off when you find out
that the woman in question is no
other than Cameron Diaz, but in
Roberts’ mind, this wedding cannot
take place.
Having unsuccessfully attempted to
win back her former love’s affec-
Diaz, but still she battles on.
With such a class line up and
Roberts back in ‘Pretty Woman’
mould, the film holds a lot of
promise, however, it ultimately.fails
to deliver. Roberts is good and there
are some chucklesome set pieces,
but these are by no means hysteri-
cal. Cameron Diaz just doesn’t
work in the ‘poor little rich girl, but-
ter wouldn’t melt in my mouth, hon-
est’ role at all. Superb in The Last
Supper, I cannot wait to see her
return to a part with a bit more soul
in next month’s ‘A Life Less
Ordinary’.
There are two really great things
about Hogan’s latest film. The first
is the truly inspired opening
sequence, quite literally an all
who quite easily steals the show
with his portrayal of Roberts’ camp
Who runs it?
friend - it is only a pity that we don’t YOU DO! - if you want to see a particular band or performance then get
see more of him and I do not mean involved - leave your contact details in the UNPLUGGED pigeon hole in
that in the Biblical sense! the Student’s Union.
Overall, let’s face it, this film is like When is it?
quite a lot of the Summer’s big Unplugged is every other Tuesday at 8pm.
releases - disappointing. It’s not
bad, but it is by no means good. Where is it?
Probably better to remember some
UNPLUGGED is usually in the Helyn Rose Bar in the Students Union
of the cracking films from earlier on
but sometimes it’s moved upstairs to the Main Stage.
this year (The English Patient, Jerry
Maguire, hey, even Matilda) and to
look forward to The Game and A What’s Next?
Life Less Ordinary than spend a The next UNPLUGGED is on Tuesday 7th October, in the Helyn Rose
fiver watching this. That said, you Bar.
and your other half might think dif-
ferently...
Drowning Again (Again)
5/10...roll on the Autumn!
- A Short Story

Prepare to Scream !!
here’s a killer out there who’s
please come along to LT G on
They sat on the edge of the pool,
quietly meditating its gurgling, ugly
reflection.The dawn broke-quiet,
then resplendent in all its colours
that she could not feel. The water
4 films. Enjoy. was cold,despite the sun. It licked
came on a fine bone china plate, and
lace napkin.( She always had to be
careful in the washing up bowl.)
Inspired by the irredescent dawn,
the birds in the nearby tree began to

T seen a few too many scary

movies. Nobody is safe as
the psychopath stalks his victims,
taunts them with trivia questions
and then rips them to bloody shreds.
Find this concept appealing, then
you will pleased to know that this
week OFU will be showing Scream
on Sunday and Monday.
The Art’s Cinema will be showing
Breaking the Waves on Wednesday,
which I am told is an extremely
good film and well worth seeing, so
An intro week helper models the latest Union fashion kit on Sunday
Wednesday at 8p.m.
So if you fancy a good scream, then
please come to any of the three
Chris
its velvet warmth across the
smoothness of his arms. She shiv-
ered.
showings at either 5p.m. or 8p.m on
Sunday or 8p.m. on Monday in LT She thought about some memories.
G, so how do you get a ticket. Well How she had won first prize, been
simply go along to the post room in picked last, smoked. She had fallen
the Union, fill out a ticket at the off horses, fallen in love, fallen out
back of the box and place it into the with Peter. Smoked. High, she
large wooden box. Then go along to could see there was just too much
LT G, collect you ticket, pay your falling, and it was too far down.
two pounds and take your seat. And here she was trying again. She
Alternatively you could purchase an couldn’t say it was him-she just
OFU season ticket before the film jumped. She could hear them above.
for the unbelievable price of £5 for
“Nice girls don’t go down...”
She could feel hands. Stroking her
falling breasts. Helping hands that
parted some legs which floundered
and screamed. The sun shone on,
and through the murky water, she
could hear the radio splutter as she
herself gasped for air.
Falling once more, she thought of
the radios, and the cigarettes in the
dark and whispers in crowded
rooms. Kisses in the grass, shit in
the sun. Secrets. Looking down, she
saw her dress billow and rise, the
vermillion garb curling and slap-
ping the thin (“nice girls don’t get
fat”) brown legs, like some stern
mistress. Like all the people who
had ever tried to reach her, to call
her back above the water.
But it was quiet at the bottom, and
the problem was that she always
forgot them when she was there.
She never could forget him though.
He always lied, and she always let
Photo: Stuart Parker herself be saved by some love. It
sing.. She couldn’t hear them, but
he was smiling at their tune; maybe
it had been so long since he had
heard her song. And she thought of
some memories. Of going so fast
that she couldn’t see. Of walking
blinded, hands outstretched for this
china plate, that always seemed so
heavy, and yet she was sure was
never full.
The radio caught a cliche. Grabbing
hold, it continued to spew out the
twisted words. LOVELIFESEX-
ALLINONEKNOT. She struggled
to undo it, but during all this time,
and all these memories, she had
been sinking, and was now still;
falling fast. The bottom slapped her.
No-one would believe, it just hit
her. She opened her mouth, like a
baby. Peter was there, and whilst he
lied onto his platter, she bled real
words.
Up on the bank, she declared her
fear, wept her regret and ate his
feast greedily. He told her, and she
really believed that not the whole
world wanted this girl to drown.
She sat on the edge of the pool, qui-
etly meditating its gurgling, ugly
reflection. The dawn broke-quiet,
then resplendent in all its colours
that she could not feel. The water
was cold,despite the sun. It licked
its velvet warmth across the
smoothness of his arms. She shiv-
ered.
Anita Ewing
ed970926 Issue 913.qxd
n Friday 26th September 1997
Walking the
wall by the
elemental
law.
elcome to
W a l i e n
mutation,
The
my blue potato is yet to take off, and
so, just as you thought your cour-
gette was safe- silly nights gone
spacey.
All the nuns, beard police and wiz-
ards seem to have been dragged into
another dimensional cupboard and
Newton’s law of equal and oppo-
site’s mean that something’s coming
through the other side.
Stupor man might be there with the
truth behind beer spillage- gravity’s
thirsty, and proclaim it he will.
P R
Friday
3rd Oct
8-2am
THE FRIDAY NIGHT OUT
07/05/98 14:15 Page 9 (1,1)
Ever get the feeling that nobody is
listening to you?
Ever get the feeling your voice and
ideas don’t count?
Ever get the feeling that you just
want to have a good bitch about
everything and everyone?
Well ...... here’s your chance....!!!
PAM AND PAT’S PROBLEM
PAGE!!!
THE PLACE TO HAVE YOUR
SAY!!!
Merry Pranksters
Dear Pam and Pat,
Fool zinging in their ships,
twisting and living. Please help me I’m so embar-
rassed!
Since I have come to University I
Be Robby or Buck, bring a Tardis or
have had nothing but one night
Phaser Natters Mot.
stands. But ever since last term
Cosmo might even put in an
these one night stands no longer
appearance.
satisfy me. I have found myself
using a vibrator to give me that
So.. pick up a second hand space-
extra
ship, some glitter and day-glo paint
thrill !
and enter the multiverse of the main
Anywhere I can I use it the more
Union on Wednesday flying High
public the better!
into silly space.
Please help me am I normal for my
one night stands with other blokes
(Name and address supplied)
and use of mechanical intervention?
Anon. Psychology Student.
E S E N
The Bootleg Beatles At
Features
Pam and Pat:
They Care
Pam and Pat’s reply:
Face it Dear this is no normal way
to behave. Think about it someday
you could be walking around cam-
pus mid-use and Oooops! it falls to
the floor, it would be slightly
embarrassing like when you mistak-
enly tuck your skirt into your knick-
ers on returning from the loo!
Not to mention the rising number of
cases of electrocution through
vibrator use. Wake up and smell the
coffee or rather the smell of burnt
hair, this is a downward spiral
towards even worse sex and an
expensive battery bill.
Dear Pam and Pat,
I’m in love with our family garden-
er I know he is 50 and probably has
no sexual feelings towards me, but I
can’t help myself feeling this way. I
find myself going out of my way to
be near him even to the point of
helping him with his equipment...(
and I hate shovels.) What should I
do? should I confront him?
Anon.
Pam and Pat’s reply:
Confused?! You certainly are love!
£6 Tickets
on sale
from reception
9
Do wrinkly bits turn you on? Do
you look for wrinkly bits of meat in
the supermarket that have gone past
their sell-by date?
You little Minx you. Aaw.. what the
hell life’s too short to faff about
with fresh non-wrinkly beef besides
it’s too expensive for us poor stu-
dents. Go for it !
Make a statement. Pull his trousers
down when he is weeding and kiss
his bum. Spray his crotch with a
hosepipe, run about naked and wave
in the wind like a rhododendron ( or
however it’s spelt!) Go wild. Make
it clear that you want him. Look at it
this way at least you will have the
satisfaction that if he rejects you it’s
not because you aren’t good enough
for him. It’s because you’re stark
raving bonkers.
This week we’ve just had a play
around with material because it’s
the first week, next week we’ll be
dealing with gay issues, departmen-
tal problems and general idiocies.
Whether you have something seri-
ous to say or you just want to spare
your personal probs with two gos-
siping cows, write to us, get those
letters flowing in at BareFacts.
T S
ed970926 Issue 913.qxd 07/05/98 14:15 Page 10 (1,1)

10 Notices and Personals Friday 26th September 1997 n

Notices and AGM’s Personals

HIKING CLUB change of venue
TB 12A on Tuesdays at 1pm.
Contact Dave on 576981 or
Lindsay on 451130.
Afro-Carribean Society AGM on
the 25th of September at 6.00 PM in
Lecture Theatre A.
Biker Soc AGM on 30th September
Dear Russ
I’m one of those people who has
plenty of ideas for careers buzzing
through my head, but I can’t
seem to narrow them down.
What should I do?
Dear Alison,
I’ll run a few suggestions past you
which might help. First of all, there
is nothing stopping you from apply-
ing for several different things at the
same time. For example, you could
apply for, say, accountancy and IT
or research and production. The
important thing is to make sure that
you justify your choice on the appli-
cation form and give a good account
of yourself at the interview. After
all, if you’re someone with a range
of interests and skills, why should-
n’t you be suited to more than one
type of work? If you’re asked in an
interview why you’ve applied for
other things, all you have to say is
that you’d be equally good at those!
Secondly, you might find it helpful
to prioritise your applications into
at 7.30PM in Lecture Theatre E.
Civil Engineering Society AGM
on 24th September at 1.00 PM in
AA Block Level 19.
Cyprus Society AGM on the 8th
October at 6.00 PM in lecture
Theatre E.
Careers
three groups: idealistic, realistic
and materialistic. If your
‘favourite’ job happens to be some-
thing like journalism, PR, advertis-
ing or publishing, then you can
expect a huge amount of competi-
tion from other applicants. These
all fall into the idealistic category.
You can still give it your best shot,
and I would strongly advise you to
do so, but you might like to keep
something up your sleeve which is a
bit more realistic.
Realistic jobs on the other hand, are
those which you’d be reasonably
happy doing and which are usually
easier to get into. Even if they’re
not your first choice, they may turn
out to be satisfying in other ways
and, who knows, could provide a
stepping stone into your ideal job in
due course.
You can probably ignore the materi-
alistic at this stage since it is really
only a fall-back position for dealing
with the possibility of having noth-
ing at all lined up by the time you
graduate. You might, for example,
need to do something just to earn
some money after the financial
LGB Soc AGM on Tuesday 7th
October at 8.00 PM in TB12b
WANTED Four Students to help at
Careers Fair on Thursday 2nd
October 6.45 to 8-15 pm. Pay £8.
Some Heavy Lifting involved.
Please contact Nadine Hunter in
Careers
stress of being a student!
By the way, there is nothing stop-
ping you applying for both jobs and
postgraduate study. They needn’t
interfere with each other until you
get offers from both! It’s another
way to keep your options open.
Finally, if you’d like some idea of
just how competitive certain jobs
are, try using the Job Descriptions
file in the Careers Office. This
information is provided for several
hundred occupations.
I do hope this helps. Keep in touch.
Russ Clark
PS The Careers Fair on 2nd
October in the Hall between 4 p.m.
and 7 p.m. may help you to nar-
row things down. Obtaining reli-
able information usually leads to
better career choice.
n Has anyone seen the Trout
about?
n So when exactly do we get to
see those “ buns “ Leia?
n Coming soon to FrogGogPog -
SFTW - The New Semester.
n Birds snogging in lesbo shock-
er!!
n SU1 to SU2... where are you-
over?
n Happy (belated) birthday
Yvonne. Did you make it to 23 ???
love J & D.
n Oscar, darling I have been fol-
lowing you since the first day we
met, I LOVE U.Hope you know
who I am
n Antonia...will you be needing
me to hold your hair back again
this semester?! Cory
n Laura & Angela, I can’t wait
to meet you on Friday, Christina
n Lonely Texas Musician isn’t
lonely anymore - thanks for the
emails everyone (don’t stop).Love
ya!
n So H & C. Did you Ram any
First Years?
n Oh no, not those catastrophes
again!!
n Terry and Link, I hear the
moose hunting season is open
again!!!
n “Belgian Beer” seen stagger-
ing towards RICH1, anyone know
her!
n I LOVE FISHBALLLS
n Kim - We know what to buy
Antonia for Xmas (Dancing
Queen....)!!! Cory
n Oh Chabba - it’s couped en
deux.
n Nine pints!?!
n Lights.... bollard....action.
n Christina is the one with the
tripple Bacardi and Coke in the bar
at the Union!!!
n WANTED: Home video of
bike to bollard incident All copies
to Beadles About
n Stevie B - Happy Belated
Birthday for last week!! FHG
n Where is My Aunt Bessies
Toad In the Hole Voucher?
n Tabloid Barefacts, where’s
our page 3 bird?
n This week, I ‘ave been most-
ly covered in Mira’s lipstick.
n To all Final years - its pants
to be back. Or is it? Oh no - I
suppose its great.
n To the Man with the column
shift. Let me move in.
n Where’s me washboard?

Crossword No. 51
Across
1. Old Fashioned (10)
7. Train of attendants (7)
8. Preen (5)
10. Attire (4)
11. Rough Calculation (8)
13. Headgear (3-3)
15. A capital city (6)
17. Attractive (8)
18. To twirl (4)
21. Serpent (5)
22. Voter (7)
23. American trams (10)
Down
1. Change (5)
2. A shade (4)
3. Squeamish (6)
4. Assigns to a post (8)
5. Moslem chiefdom (7)
6. Brilliance (10)
9. A joking remark (10)
12. Death of body tissue (8)
14. Spectacular procession (7)
16. Originate (6)
19. Crowns of heads (5)
20. Second Greek letter (4)

Last Weeks Solution meander 16. rudder 19. dowry 20. howl 23. lid
Across: 1. perhaps 5. hunch 8. querulous 9. pig 10.
Compiled by Jeff Blackham
expertly 12. grow 14. masque 15. chatty 17. apex 18.
supposed 21. dig 22. Oddfellow 24. rural 25. rest-day
Down: 1. pique 2. rye 3. Aquarius 4. scowls 5. husk 6.
nephritis 7. highway 11. passenger 13. whippets 14.
ed970926 Issue 913.qxd 07/05/98 14:15 Page 11 (1,1)

n Friday 26th September 1997 Sports 11

Girls, what do you TENNIS COACHING WORKSHOPS

Card holders are eligible to take part in the tennis 5.30 p.m. and then Saturdays from Saturday 11th

do on a wednesday
coaching sessions held at the Varsity Centre (opposite October 2.00 - 4.00 p.m.
Tescos) on Wednesdays 10th September - 1st October at Coaches: Clive Asprey & Helen Murdoch

A BIG welcome to all freshers

afternoon?
A) wash your smalls at the laun-
derette
B) buy some value beans at Tescos
C) get a book out from the library
and never read it
D) cut your toenails (again)
E) play footie, get drunk, go to
Bo's and pull a stunner
chums,
have a fantastic social/sex life and it
looks highly impressive on your CV
too!
Come along to one of our training
sessions on Fridays 5-7pm and/or
Sundays 2-4pmat the Varsity Centre
(all you need is a pair of trainers) or
Your first few weeks will be most confusing but have no
fear - help is at hand - CAMPUSPORT! We’re the peo-
ple who can offer you release from all the hard work
you should be doing and a fun environment in which to
meet new people and enjoy anything from yoga to jazz
dance, aerobics to trampolining, dry skiing to basket-
ball. We can also offer you a well equipped Fitness Club
and “The Vertex”, one of the best climbing walls in the
south east of England. We work closely with fifty or so
student clubs and can offer you coaching in a variety of
different sports.
Look out for our friendly staff in the navy and claret
uniforms at the SPORTS & LEISURE FAIR AT THE
VARSITY CENTRE ON FRIDAY 26TH FROM 12.00
onwards. We’ll give you all the low down on how to
join up and all the opportunities available.

If option E seems the most appeal-

ing then the women's football club
want to hearfrom you!!! It doesn't
matter if you've never kicked a ball
before, we'll teach
you all you could possibly know
about the 'beautiful game'
Playing footie and getting fit is only
part of the fun! You'll make new
be brave and speakto us at the
Sports Fayre (we're the ones with
the balloons - no pun intended)
Alternatively test out your new
ACC card and ring Lisa on 569993
or Lou on
579993 for further details.
Go on be a devil!
Sports and Dance Courses
Most courses run from the week beginning Monday TUESDAYS
29th September. Campusport card holders get reduced Golf, Badminton, Latin American Dance Taster
rates but it is essential that you sign up and pay for these
in advance. Most have a limited number of places and WEDNESDAYS
get booked up very quickly. Choose from: Canoeing, Squash, Self Defence, Yoga Dance, Street
Jazz Intermediate & Advanced.
MONDAYS THURSDAYS
Beginners Squash, Beginners & Intermediate Yoga, Beginners & Advanced Tap, Contemporary Dance
Beginners & Intermediate Tai Chi, Dry Skiing, (Advanced)

The Cyborg Advanced Ballet. Give us a call on Ext. 9201 for further details or come
down to the Sports Centre to enrol.

Bunnies are Back
es the Paintball Soc is back
The Vertex
The Vertex is the University of
Surrey’s climbing wall which
* Lead walls with interchangeable
holds
22nd September - thank you to the
Mountaineering Club who played a
Well we will guarantee that you get

Y to plague the university

with posters of Bunny rab-
bits with borg implants. After
learning several lessons last year
about how to organise (or should
that be dis...) a big event, we are
back to do it properly this year!
Despite what happened last year all
the games we ran last year were a
success. Everyone went home
happy, tired out and bruised! The
last game of last year, Splatwar I,
was a huge success and I was going
to include a picture in here but lets
just say I’m better with a paintball
gun than a camera, but I promise to
do better this year, just to show you
what you’re missing out on. And
believe me you are missing out on a
lot! What with all the team build-
ing skills the leadership skills and
social skills you learn, you’ll also
learn how to duck, participate in
friendly fire and how to swear
rather loudly. Actually we got some
very inventive uses of the english
language last year mostly involving
a four letter word beginning with f!
We’ll be running two big games this
year for twenty and more people
and hopefully lots of smaller games
interspersed during the year!
the lowest prices for a day’s fun.
We will also guarantee transport of
some form that is included in the
price. Now we try to keep prices
down but it’s really up to the site we
go to and what they offer us in their
game deals, we can have a really
cheap day with just pump guns and
clothing but the site will not include
paint in that and by the end of the
day what started off as 20 pounds
ends up at £60. Other sites run days
where everyone starts off with some
paint say 400 balls this will cost 35
pounds but you aren’t likely to
spend much more.
For the first game this year we were
offered a very good deal! Basically
it’s this each person gets 1000 paint-
balls all the safety gear and overalls,
lunch and transport to and from the
site all for the lowest price of 53.50!
You will not find a deal like that
anywhere else! So if you are inter-
ested in that or any other game drop
a note in the paintball Soc. pigeon
hole in the union or email ee52dd or
ph51pv. We’ll be selling tickets this
week and next in the union around
lunchtimes!
David Davey
includes a new extension built dur-
ing the summer this year. The
Vertex can now provide
* 180ft traverse
* Overhangs with changeable holds
* Beginners walls
* & Social area
The Vertex is one of the best walls
huge and much appreciated part -
with free climbing, abseiling and
speed traverse and climbing compe-
titions.
* Bouldering tunnel in the south east and is a great facil- The Vertex is open to all students at
* Slab ity for the University’s £2 a go or FREE with a Campusport
* Crack Mountaineering Club and those or Sports and Classes card.
* Overhang who are interested in climbing. It is
* Chimney now in full operation after the Open
* 5m high Bouldering area Day which took place on Sunday
Interdepartmental Sport
Yes - competitive sport for all at a the Sports Centre. Take part in 10 - dancing, unihoc, mixed netball, 5-a-
fun pace! 20 minute lunch time matches to side football (men’s & women’s),
All the activities start from 20th represent your department, house or evening soccer and indoor cricket.
October with entries being made to club in : mixed volleyball, ballroom Entries must be in by 8th October.
Do you have what it takes to be a sports representative?
Meet new people, organise your friends to take part in Please come to a meeting for all Sports Representatives
lighthearted sport - useful for the old CV and brilliant on Friday 3rd October 1.05 p.m. at the Sports Centre.
for promoting health, sport and fun at Surrey!
Sports Bursaries
Last call for anyone (Freshers or Bursary. able at the Sports Centre or for fur-
existing students) to apply for either If you have a high level of sporting ther information phone Barry
a Guildford Borough (any sport) or ability and proven record you are Hitchcock, Sports Director on Extn.
Royal and Ancient (golf) Sports eligible. Application forms avail- 9200.
ed970926 Issue 913.qxd 07/05/98 14:15 Page 12 (1,1)

12 Sports Friday 26th September 1997 n

DICKIE’s
LARGE COLUMN
elcome back! My name is allow all those unfor- enjoyable experience.

W Rich Saulet (Dickie) and
after having battled
through the highly competitive
qualifying rounds, the immensely
demanding interviews, and a close
run vote with RON, I am finally
able to make my debut as the high-
Waterpolo
Dickie Saulet
tunate people who
haven’t yet met me to
Sports Editor
There is loads of new
stuff in the Union this
have an inkling of what I’m about. year including the great SILLY
The questions are simple, but then NIGHT every Wednesday. As you Like rough, like water, like fun, like balls??!!
- as I am sure you will realise - so will know, providing you bring the Then this is the sport for you!!!!
is the interviewee. necessary equipment, a double- Join the women’s waterpolo team for some
I have been reliably informed by and-mixer will cost you only £1. real action!!!!

ly paid Sports Editor of BARE
FACTS.
I am sorry that I have not written in
the first few issues but: a) I’ve
been too busy drinking, catching
up, and recovering, and b) I’ve
spent so much time preparing this
masterpiece of an editorial that I’ve
needed all the time I could get.
In order to fill vital space in this
Cazza, Sports Officer, that these Yes they are only house spirits; yes
sacred sports pages are to filled they do taste like petrol, but they
with well...... sport, and so this is do the job. Besides, anyone who
the moment when I will make the has been through the 16yr old drink
annual plea to request that if you cider/thunderbird stage in their life,
have done any sport of any kind, can handle just about anything and
especially naked, then write arti- will find the double satisfying and
cles and take photos (before and will go back for more.
after) so that I can include them in Well, before I leave you I feel that
these much admired pages. Give I should mention the excellence of
We are looking for girls who are daring and
like to play rough in the water.
Do you like to swim and play some ball??!!
Do not hesitate and join us!!!!
Enjoy the fun with us on Tuesdays from 6-7
p.m. at the spectrum or come and see us at
the freshers fair, to get more information.
Any questions please do not hesitate and
contact us!!!
Marlies, 01483-567488, e-mail: ms61mh
Kerry, 01483-531600, e-mail:bs61kl

week’s article (I know that sports
articles will come flooding in after
my impassioned plea)., I have
interviewed myself at great
expense to Bare Facts. This should
them to me, on disc, via my pigeon the English football clubs in
hole in the Union, or on a Monday Europe. Nice. And the Scottish?
night when I work security. The Well.... how do you know when a
more you lot write, the less I do, Scottish team will lose in Europe?
and these pages will become an They kick off!!