ENGLISH 028

Week 3, Day 2

Editing an In-Class Essay

 In-Class

Strong
2

Debate!

paragraphs

chunk paragraphs

Paragraph

WHAT ARE WE DOING TODAY?

revision

Barney by Will Stanton

1) Why is Tayloe fired? How does the
protagonist rationalize it?
2) What really happened to Tayloe?
Explain your reasoning.
3) Why did the spelling get so bad by the
end of the story?
4) What is the theme of Barney?

IN-CLASS DEBATE

The sublime:
A feeling where a piece
The sublime:
of writingGenerally
or naturenatural things- our
completely overwhelms
brains are more powerful,
you. but these things are
Answer by Frederic Brown
terrifying, displeasing, and
scary
a positive
1) Whatcreates
is the theme
of the story?
sensation
2) This
story afterwards
was first written in 1964.
How do you think that affects it?
3) To what extent does this story illustrate
the sublime?

The sublime:
Terror [is] the ruling
priniciple of the sublime. It
is a violent, emotional
reaction.
"The passion caused by the great and sublime in nature . . . is Astonishment; and astonishment is
that state of the soul, in which all its motions are suspended, with some degree of horror. In this
case the mind is so entirely filled with its object, that it cannot entertain any other (Burke 58).

IN-CLASS DEBATE

 What

do you know that

you need in a paragraph?

What

things make
paragraphs stronger?

What

is required for this

essay?

STRONG PARAGRAPHS

Strong paragraphs:
Have

1 core idea

Have

a topic sentence

Develop
Have

logical bridges

Include
Have

THE RESULTS ARE IN

enough

evidence

analysis

 What

do you think it is?

Read

the sample paragraph

What could
it be?!

Try

to identify the different

parts

THE 2 CHUNK PARAGRAPH

In George Orwells Animal Farm, Boxer represents the working class of Russia.
First, Boxer works harder than all of the other animals, as Orwell writes, From
morning to night he was pushing and pulling, always at the spot where work was
hardest (40). Boxer believes in Animalism and is motivated to work harder for this
cause than even for Farmer Jones. Also, Boxers character reveals that Orwell
believed the common workers of Russia were also working harder than ever for
little reward. Secondly, Boxer is easily brainwashed by Napoleon and his
propaganda, insisting If Comrade Napoleon says it, it must be right (Orwell 91).
Because Boxer is less intelligent than other animals, Napoleon easily brainwashes
Boxer into submission even when Napoleon commits terrible injustices.
Consequently, Orwell suggests that the lower class Russian workers were also easily
manipulated by Joseph Stalin. In conclusion, Boxers character, through his
relentless work and gullibility, paints a picture of the much abused, hardworking,
and honest Russian working class.

BREAK IT DOWN!

In George Orwells Animal Farm, Boxer represents the working class of Russia.
First, Boxer works harder than all of the other animals, as Orwell writes, From
morning to night he was pushing and pulling, always at the spot where work was
hardest (40). Boxer believes in Animalism and is motivated to work harder for this
cause than even for Farmer Jones. Also, Boxers character reveals that Orwell
believed the common workers of Russia were also working harder than ever for
little reward. Secondly, Boxer is easily brainwashed by Napoleon and his
propaganda, insisting If Comrade Napoleon says it, it must be right (Orwell 91).
Because Boxer is less intelligent than other animals, Napoleon easily brainwashes
Boxer into submission even when Napoleon commits terrible injustices.
Consequently, Orwell suggests that the lower class Russian workers were also easily
manipulated by Joseph Stalin. In conclusion, Boxers character, through his
relentless work and gullibility, paints a picture of the much abused, hardworking,
and honest Russian working class.

BREAK IT DOWN!

Q: What is a 2 chunk paragraph?

A: A 2 chunk paragraph is a
formula for strong paragraphs. The
formula is:
topic sentence that introduces the idea
or theme of the paragraph.
concrete detail (quote, fact, statistic, or
story)
commentary sentences
concrete detail (quote, fact, statistic, or
story)
commentary sentences

2 CHUNK PARAGRAPHS

Q: What is a chunk?
A: A chunk is 1 concrete
detail and 2 sentences of
commentary. The detail can
be a fact or quote. The
commentary explains why
the detail is important and
how it ties in to your essays
overall idea.

concluding sentence that wraps up the ideas discussed

in the paragraph and transitions to the next paragraph.

BLACK BART
BARTHOLOMEW

Check

out this example

paragraph

What

it?

do you notice about

Look out for:

Introductory

sentences

Evidence
Analysis
Transitions
Concluding

sentences

EDIT EACH OTHERS

PARAGRAPHS

HOMEWORK

Edit Essay #1 Due on Monday

1 blank rubric (available on

website)

Original, handwritten in-class

essay (with my mark)

Revised, typed, final in-class essay

submission