Teacher's notes | Writing file 6 (1 Learning objectives in this lesson Raising awareness of the techniques used in effective ‘mail shots. Developing students’ awareness of the style of language used. By the end of the lesson, students will be able to write an effective mail shot using appropriate language. 1 Ask students to work in pairs and discuss the questions before feeding back to the rest of the class. Answers ‘Answers will vary. Students may find mil shots iritating and ignore them, However, mail shots are usually most successful hen targeted atthe right people. I the recipients ofa mail shot wil clearly benefit ram the offer and are willing to buy, them itis likely to be a successful campaign. 2. Ask students to read the mail shot and consider the headlines. They should then discuss their opinions in pairs and write in their chosen headline. Answers Al three of the headlines would work, since they all incorporate the main message. The second option could possibly be the most effective, ince the first ward is. “tree and this could be very appealing to the reader and encourage them to read on. However, the other headlines clarify the function of the product straight away, so could be more effective fo readers who are currently concerned ‘about security. 3 Ask students to work in pairs and discuss the advice before feeding back to the rest of the class. Answers 1 This is good advice. The reader will want to know the reason forthe letter - otherwise they may not bother to read the letter, 2 This is bad advice. A mail shot should convey confidence in the offer. The offer should be explained. clearly, with positive language. 3 This is good advice. Objective opinions from people ‘who the reader can identify with will increase the reader's confidence in the product and the offer. 4 This is bad advice. It should be as easy as possible for the reader to respond. If they have to send a response, the postage should be free. I they need to call a number, that should also be ftee. Basically, any barrier to the reader responding should be removed where possible, 55 This is good advice. The reader will want to know why they ‘should be interested inthe offer — what's ini or them. 6 This is good advice. It makes the reader feel respected ‘and valued. 7 This is good advice. Research has shown that the PS. Is one of the most read sections of a mail shot ~ probably because the reader's eyes tend to scan down to the bottom to find out who is writing to them. 8 This is good advice. The mail shot should encourage @ response from the reader - otherwise it has not fulfilled its purpose. 9 This is bad advice. It's dangerous ground as not ‘everyone will appreciate the humour and it could be Perceived as unprofessional. 10 This is bad advice. According to research into mail shots, exclamation marks can be distracting and can, ‘also make the mail shot seem less professional. 11 This is good advice. If the reader feels there is a danger they might miss out, they are more likely to respond. 12 This is bad advice. Complex language could alienate the reader. I's best to stick to simple language that is easly understood by everyone. 4 Ask students to work in pairs, They should read the mail shot again and discuss how it could be improved based cn the advice they discussed in 3. Answers ‘The mail shot generally follows the good pieces of advice in 3. It could be argued that the mail shot doesn't get to the point quickly enough, as the reader doesn't find out about the details ofthe offer until the fourth paragraph. It Could also be argued that the deadline should be mentioned earlier to create a sense of urgency from the beginning. 5 Ask students to look at the mail shot again and identify the sentences / phrases for each function. See the following page for the answers.Teacher's notes | Writing file 6 (2 Answers 1. Eliminate this risk now by taking advantage of our special ‘three months’ free trial’ offer, That’s right = there is no cost to you for three months. And in ‘three months’ time, if you don’t think Databuild 3.1 hhas made your systems safer, then simply return the product. 2 You have been especially chosen for a unique customer offer. You are among 2,000 of our special clients ‘who have qualified for early purchasing of our latest ‘computer protection software. 3. PS. Don't delay — get Databuild 3.1 before your Competitors and be protected for free for three months ~ offer ends 31* October 2010. 4 ‘Since taling Databuild 3.1 we've had zero secunty ‘breaches on our system. I's easy to implement and is. frankly the best protection software out there right now = we got lucky having early access: John Brydon, IT Director, UJ Publishing. 5 Just think — you could have a real edge over your ‘competitors by getting your hands on this software a {ull ix months before it goes on general sale. 6 Just think .., That's right .., Sounds too good to be ‘true? Well, try us. 7 Wel, try us. Call us now on 435-0201-4965. 8 Hackers could be attacking your computer as we speak. With old versions of protection software and back doors left open on your system, hackers can come in and take what they want, when they want. Eliminate this risk now by taking advantage of our special ‘three ‘months free trial’ offer. 6 Ask students to think of a product or service. Encourage them to make notes and plan what they want to include in their mail shot. Remind them of the advice they discussed in 3, Alternative Ifyour students do not work or cannot think of a product or service they could write a mail shot for, write the following product information on the board. Then ask them to plan what they would include in a mail shot about this product and special offer, Subscription to sharemydesktop.cz + special offer ~ only 3,000 available + free six-month trial followed by discount offer of 25% + new features = includes webcam chat and remote control ‘Testimonial “Tstarted using ‘sharemydesktop’ as a way to keep in touch with my business partner who moved to set up our new offices in Brno. With ust a couple of clicks he could see everything ‘on my desktop ~ PowerPoint presentations, spreadsheets, everything. This makes meetings easier and means we don't have to keep sending documents back and forth. With the new ‘webcam feature, we can now see each other as well and the remote control which means my partner can edit files on my desktop. Ireally don't know how I managed without it! 7 Ask students to work alone and write their mail shot. 8 Ask students to exchange mail shots and give feedback to each other. You could then collect the mail shots and provide more detailed feedback inthe next lesson. Evaluation tips Look at the content and accuracy of the mail shots, ‘Make sure that students have followed the advice. Give feedback on how you think the reader would respond to the mail shot. Don't forget to focus on accuracy too. Mail shots with grammatical mistakes or spelling mistakes will never be well received, ‘Sample answer Refer tothe mail shot onthe students’ worksheet for guidance.Writing a mail shot 1. Work with a partner and discuss these questions. 1 How often do you receive mail shots from ‘companies trying to sell you things? Do you read them? 2. Have you ever purchased anything because of a ‘mail shot? 3. Does your company send out mail shots to clients? Are they successful? 2 Read the mail shot and decide which of the following headlines would work best. Discuss your opinion with a partner, then write your chosen. headline at the top of the mail shot. 1. Imagine having total confidence in your computer protection software. 2. Free three-month trial of Databuild 3.1 - the most advanced protection software available. 3 Improve the security of your systems ~ take advantage of this amazing offer. eT] Dear Ms Malinder, You have been especially chosen for a unique customer offer You are among, 2,000 of our special clients ‘who have qualified for early purchasing of our latest computer protection software Just think ~ you could have areal edge over your competitors by getting your hands on this software a fullsix months before it oes on general sale. Databuild 311 sthe simply the best protection out there. ‘Since trialing Databuild 3.1 we've had zero security ‘breaches on our system Its easy to implement and is frankly the best protection software out there right now ~ we got lucky having early access "john Brydon, fT Director, U Publishing Hackers could be attacking your computer as we speak: With old versions of protection software and back doors left open on your system, hackers can come in and take ‘what they want, when they want. Eliminate this risk now by taking advantage of our special three month's fre tra offer. That's right - there isno costo you for three months. And in three months time, i you don't think Databuild 3.1 has made your systems safer, then simply return the product. So whichever way you look atit, hiss a win-win offer. Sounds to good to be true? Well, try us. Call us now on 435-0201-4965, ‘Yours sincerely Sontiago Poethlsberger PS. Don't delay - get Databuild 3.1 before your competitors and be protected for free for three months ~ offer ends 313t October 2010 3. Work with a partner. Look at this advice about writing a mail shot. Which statements do you agree with? 1 Getto the point. 2 Be shy about the offer. 3 Use testimonials (comments from people who already use the product) 4. Make it hard to respond. Highlight the key benefits. Personalize the message ~ use you and your where possible. 7 UseaPS, 8 Invite the recipient of the mail shot to act. 9 Try to use humour. 10 Use exclamation marks. 11 Include a deadline to create a sense of urgency. 12 Use complex and descriptive vocabulary. Work with your partner. Look at the mail shot again. Based on the advice you discussed in 3, how could the mail shot be improved? Underline the sentences / phrases in the letter that perform the following functions. 1 Give specific details about the offer. 2 Address the reader as one of a group of important people. 3. Remind the reader of the offer and create a sense of urgency. 4 Give an objective comment / testimonial about the product, Mention the key benefit. Make the letter sound more like a conversation, Call the reader to action. Mention further benefits Choose a product or service that your company sells and think of a special offer you could send to customers. Make notes on the offer and plan what to include in a mail shot. Write your mail shot in 150-250 words. Remember to use the recommended techniques discussed during this lesson. Exchange mail shots with a partner. Is your partner's ‘mail shot effective? Does it use the recommended techniques? Could it be improved in any way?