Third Edition BECOMING A HELPER MARIANNE SCHNEIDER Corey Private Practice GERALD Corey California State University, Fullerton Diplomate in Counseling Psychology, American Board of Professional Psychology loa} Brooks/Cole Publishing Company TDP" an tnternatonal Thomson Publishing Company a aan aaioty ee et heen ee a "inkingL 2 3. 4 ° > 9 7. At this time in your life, how prepared ( Focus QUESTIONS What hae attracted you to the helping professions? Who in your Ife hae been instrumental in your decision to conelder this role for your- self What is your main motivation for wanting to be a helper? What needs of yours are likely to be met through your work as a helper? o what degree do you think that these needs might either enhance your ability to help others or diminish it? Think of a time when you very much needed help from a significant: per~ ‘son In your life or from a counselor. What did you most wart From this person? What did ke or che do that- wae either a help or a hindrance to you? Think about the attributes of an effective helper, What are a few traits ‘or characterietice that you would identify as being the most Impor- tant? What do you consider to be some counterproductive attitudes, belief, and behaviors of helpers? Can you identify three major pereonal char- acterletics that are likely to strain the tive relationships with those who are eet ‘4 personal standpoint) do you feel you are to enter one of the helping professions? If you were ‘applying bo a graduate program or for a job in the field, you might be ‘asked these questions: "What qualities, traits, avtitudes, values, and convictions are central to the person who you are?” “How might those personal characteristics be either assets or kablities for you as you pursuc a career In the helping professions?” . What kind of education and training program do you think best fits your interests and talente? How do you see this program as a means ‘v0 attaining your career objectives? If you could pursue a career in one of the helping professions at this ‘time, what would your ideal vieion be? What work particularly appeals to you? With what cllentts would you most like to work? What kind of human-service work would bring you the greatest meacing and eatio- faction? [ARE THE HELPING PROFESEIONS FOR OL AIM OF THE CHAPTER ‘As you consider a career in one of the helping professions, you are probabl dedag “Are the helping potesions frie Do {know cough help Will Tbe able to apply what I'm learning in my education to my job? Wii career be satisfying in the long run?” This book is intended to help you ar these and oer questions about your career The focus ofthe bok so yo on what youneed personally and professionally tobe the best helper possibl tbo empain rts jou eth ce when yo er tw sional world. You will be best able to cope with the demands of the helping fessions if you get an idea now of what lies ahead. ‘We begin inthis chapter by inviting you to examine your diverse motiv becoming a helper. We challenge you to clarify what you get from helping ¢ as well as what you are able to give them. Ideally, you will be able to meet own needs and the needs of your clients through the helping process. We ‘our own experiences as beginning helpers to demonstrate that learning tobe aa helper is a process, with its ups and downs. This chapter also introduces y the attributes of an effective helper. Although we do not think that there i perfect pattern of characteristics that identifies “ideal” helpers, we do pr Some attributes as a catalyst to encourage you to think about the characte you possess that could either help or hinder you in your work with Because most students express concems about what professional prograrr best help them attain their career objectives, we explore the differences a1 various educational routes. We also examine some ofthe major factors to cor in selecting a career in the helping professions. Although you may thin} now the career path you want to pursue, we encourage you to keep your oF ‘open while you are reading this book and taking this course. You will prol ‘Work in several different positions within a career azea, and many humat vices professionals change careers at different points in their lives. For inst they may begin by providing direct services to clients in a community agenc. then shift to administering programs. Finally, keep in mind as you read this book that we use the terms helpe uoman-services professional interchangeably to refer to a wide range of pract ers, including social workers, clinical and counseling psychologists, mazriag family therapists, pastoral counselors, community mental-health workers rehabilitation counselors. EXAMINING Your Motives FOR BECOMING A HELPER In choosing a career in the helping professions, you would do well to beg examining your motivations for pursuing this path. It is critical that you be fest with yourself about the needs you will satisfy by entering this field. motives and needs can work either for or against both you and your £ clients, In fact, the same need or motive has the potential to become either ¢4 CHAPTER ONE ductive a a counterproductive fore i your helping tle As you reflect onthe tent dsc nis sok Yoon“ Macias oi How might Ibe able to satty both ty ovn needs and thas ok be rete eae, sek ny hp? Wt rene ny, might Tow ele tela he ‘spe ofmy cients? Are ome omy needs so tena at ing caren Typical Needs of Helpers Below are some motivations that we have observed in our own students and trainees in the helping professions. We encourage our students to recognize their needs, to accept them, and to become aware of how these needs influence the ‘quality of their interactions with others. ou and indent your stuatin. Yo cn eal become personaly aed ey Fesonaly bared ox or emotionaly usta yee deat na ee help when you need i ‘ARE THE HELFING PROFESSIONS FORYO ut ofa Praesinal who reviewed the manuscript ofthis book rey tenant Of 88 psychologists inthe taining program at his inettees Ponce braacies as “rescuers” in alcoholic families in his view they mero 7 doce described her fits you, you may prof fom eating Jone i {eu on taking cat of othe tthe exclusion of ene dete for cecrct burcen yourself withthe full esponstbty of always being She for everyone who might need your help, you ae likely to fad that yor ‘soon have little left to give. Jin Reet for self-help. You may want to go into the helping professio least in part, to work: issues, 3 able alts of growing up in an alcholic family, and you say sve struggles. spapiain point i that the motivation for selecting a specialty can be the ate, oreetity for you tis not necessarily important at yoube “edhe jug Reed to be needed. Very few helpers are imamune to the need | Prpued, The problem arises when you deny that you want to feel reedea tt Re peychologically rewarding to you to have cients say that they are gettingaight The danger cxste when you mist reccve sepmecaten kee aa, ‘Sted wort on your cent faite seal ‘vanish if you could no longer work. Some helpers have come to enjoy the financial rewards suggest that if students need to make a great deal of fonts tfyu mals how such you at tng ton oes oe yer ey cover you sy to hacpchensconing Soo wheat eae Sores ‘ARE THE HELPING PROFESSIONS FoR: ‘on a solid foundation, itis essential that you Look within yourself to mes status needs rather than looking to others to provide you with affirmatie You are indeed a worthwhile person, they will determine the nature of your interventions. If you are attempt® CHAPTER ONE Examine Your Own Motives for Helping At this point we encourage you to reflect on your own motivations for consider- ing acareer asa a Our OWN BEGINNINGS AS HELPERS ‘This is a personal book in two we Personal in that we encourage you to find ways to apply the book to yot dition, we have written the book in A personal manner, sharing our own vi experiences whenever we think it is appropriate and useful. As a concret ion of how personal motives and ‘experiences can affect career choice, we some of our own motivations for ‘ARE THE HELPING PROFESSIONS FoR plshmens fry seas of deat ‘At the begining ofmy career ab a counseling psychologist Ti not fident and Totten wondered whether Iwas ule fr el partici difcl the times that soled a group with og serene ‘Another thing that ‘university center, Wh myself what Icould do.10 CHAPTER ONE Toften had no idea of what, if anything, my clients were geting from our sexe oN Indications of whether clients were getting betty, staying the same, or got S25 worse were typically very subte. What I didn't know atthe time vias Geet ‘ot take clients in any direction that fe, Although I am not engaged in counseling people individually, I do teach Saatelors and write textbooks on counseling practice. Had Tot challenged my fears and selfdoubts, 1am quite certain that I would not be a counselor coecare and an author today. Marianne Corey's Early Experience Iwas a helper long before I studied counseling in school. From childhood on 1 responded fo the needs of my brothers and sisters. At age 8 I was made almeet {orally responsible for my newly bom brother. [not only took care of hin but ales attended to other members of an extended family. ‘ARE THE HELPING PROFESGIONG FoR YOU aiy olm Ife I overcame many obstacles and excesded my dream sive up toate successful in challenging and encouraging my cheney what wat Iie intresting for me to compare my cual condtonin in ny family with my development an protec oan seamed to atume the role of eating or my bien eat is no el git as natural when Tegan fontalheping inane Tienes as pac of my undergraduate progiam it behaved oe a share of self-doubt. meee12 CHAPTER ONE was acknowledging my struggles and was not pretending to be the al-competent counselor who was without fears. ‘Asa beginning counselor I was acutely aware of my own anvieties. Now Iam totally responsible for what goes on in a session, and J am usually not willing to ‘work harder than my clients. very experienced people. Ihad been giving myself no zoom for learning and for tolerating my rudimentary beginnings. ‘One of my professional activities now is working with beginning helpers. I find that they are often in the same predicament I was when Ibegan working with, others. These students seem focused on how much Iknow and how easy interventions seem to come to me. By contrast, they feel discouraged with their to them that learning never stops and that beginnings are dificult and, at times, discouraging, [ARE THE HELPING PROFESSIONS FOR A HELPING CAREER IS Not FOR EVERYON self the time to gain a greater sense of ease in applying what you have leame in functioning in yout role as a helper. Counterproductive Attitudes career of helping others. As you take the following self-inventory, strive to hhonest as you can in assessing these traits in yourself. Use the following se:4 CHAPTER ONE respond: 4 = this statement is true of me most ofthe time; 3 = this statement is true ‘of me much of the time; 2 = this statement is true of me some of the time; and 1 = _—— 1. Thave few problems in my life and therefore am in a position to help ‘others resolve their problems. 2. My way is the right way, and if my clients accepted my values, they would be happy. 3. Ihave very strong religious convictions, and it is my responsibility to guide others to adopt them. 4. Thave no religious affiliation, do not believe in religion, and consider ‘rough life, and iff've “thade it,” I think others should be able make it too. times Lam hostile indirect, and sarcastic. 10. Ihave made a minimal effort to expose myself to learning situations and ha TL. The goal of getting a degree or @ license is foremost in my mind; the ‘process of geting there was seen as a necessary, but unpleasant, means toanend. 12. Ibelieve that those teaching and supervising me know less than Ido. 213. I tend to be intimidating to people and at times seem to enjoy having others be afraid of me. 14. Ihave a difficult time seeing people in pain; want to quickly take their away and turn them to more pleasant thoughts. 15. Aithough somtimes experience pai, Iam cnwiing to acknowledge this suffering and seek help for it; Uhink that my pain is being taken care of by attending to the pain of my clients. 16. I consistently make my needs more impoctant than my clients’ needs. 17, Ineed my clients more than they need me, and therefore I foster their dependency on me. 18, Ihavea difficult time entering a client's world; I tend to perceive reality onl my own 1p, Tach depressed when Tien tthe sagas of oer Toten overidentify with them, and Itend to make their problems my problems. 20, I see counseling as something that others need, jet T can't imagine myself seeking this kind of help. ‘ARE THE HELPING PROFESSIONS FOR 21. Thave a very fragile ego that is easily bruised, and thus I'm over sitive to any criticisms from others. — 2% Imeasily defensive and have an aversion to being challenged. 2 Ihavelived avery setred le and have ted and ed word 2. im unable to accep howe who have values diferent from mine. 25. Thave an intense need to be in contol when [fel that Paya trol of myself or others I fel anxious, others. What aso ental a high dence of enamel ‘Ness to being challenged. Hl ed ATTRIBUTES OF THE “IDEAL HELPER” Portrait of an Effective Helper ‘What follows are some characteristics that we consider an integral part of « tive helping. With these possibilities in mind, consider the following perspe Of the helper who is making a significant difference: * Ideally, you are committed to an honest assessment of your own strex and weaknesses. You recognize that who you are as a person is the important instrument you possess as a helper.N You with some characte that are worthy of refltion, You migh youself that you lack many ofthese hareterist Ay we mee become a skill one and all of us can become mows cies ine touching the lives ofthe cents weesennine Assessing Your Personal Characteristics In applying to an educational program in the helping professions, you wet ably evaluated on both your academic background and your promise for p andl professional development. Most graduate counselor-training program use ofa formal view at specific points to assess the academie progress signs of being impaired. But we do want to challenge you to assess your ot sonal characteristics that could work either for or against you in your 1 professional helper In addressing the question “Are the helping professions for me2” 5 self encouraged to use this book a a catalyst for hone casflecten: Baloo’ of qualities traits attudes, values, and conviction that one graduate pr ‘ses to asses candidates’ level of personal development Assusve otters are applying for admission to such a program or that you me row era ith that enables cllents who have litle hope to begin to believe program that evaluates you on the basis of personal characterctes © er avatapeeueal eeu eae review the attributes below, reflect on how well you know yourself aut « Neuare ling to enon arunber fours enabeclets to ove ‘our current level of interpersonal functioning. toward their goals. You are flexible in applying strategies for change, and * Sensiity, How interested aze you in others and the personal wel {you are willing to adapt your techniques tothe unique situation of each bree aes Wanletiies wed way et eee pee tee ee * Peonal pecs. How repecl and genuinely involved are you from yours, you show your respect for them by not fitting them into a neat + Compassion and empathy. How able are you to respond to the ne mold, others with concem and understanding? . seed an acuotersebe i aaatenou ceeincab ete eenader a * Flexibility and a willingness to recive fedback. Can you openly ce ine your hing fr ow do ot de nt wi ng {feedback offered by otters and make changes in yous ates sad tales about your own personal problems, but you are or? ; ints cellexpleration. +m " 7 te 1, lyand isi, How well do yo demonstrate self-respect and respect for See hth cal eee er ae + Modeling. Can you model functional human behavior and eopin confronted with problems, you del with them. ' cesses? You question life and engage + Insight. What is your capacity for perceiving, understanding, abstr fou are of your needs and motivations, and you make 7 Se soa sas. You aan of your nets and motivations ad You ale and generalizing from professional sources and personal exteriors ‘own eration, not one that has Been imposed on you. Many tsining programs offer some seltexploration experiences in Nous se of establishing meaningful relationships with at east afew students can become more aware of how their personal attsibutce mectfont + Youarecapabeot sees in lationship. n your prac and ethip sense es ‘Mihough you have «healthy sense of selflove and pide, ou are not ‘cally opportunities to focus on ways in which your petsooalstjleadhecrce + Although you have y bility to establish helping relationships with cients. f your program do arrogant. offer formal personal-growth experiences, seek these resotrces in the comnit i [no one fits thé portrait of the ideal helper per- ‘Much of the rest ofthis book will deal with the interplay between you as aaa, Reeistestet ee ee ‘you but to provide son and your work as a professional helper. Our underlying assumptionthe best way to propare for a dynamic career is to come to a fuller appreciation of ‘the richness of your being and to be able to use your own life experiences in your evolution in the helping professions. SELECTING A PROFESSIONAL PROGRAM AND CAREER PATH helping professions. Ack especially about the rewards, challenges, and demands of their work. ‘When you begin fieldwork, you'll be able to test many of your ideas and expectations ngunat the real world of work Ths a good tine to reflect on your ‘motives and needs for considering helping as a career. Observations in various field settings and practical experience working with different client populations will provide a more accurate picture of how your career is likely to satisfy your needs for becoming a helper in the frst place. At this point, you may not even be certain you want to pursue a career in the helping professions. Ifyou are enrolled in a two-year community college program in human services, you may be wondering whether it would be best for you to get job when you complete your program. A wide range of human-services jobs are available, including skills training, social service assistants, work with the see the need to return to school for a bachelor’s or a master’s degree in one of the helping professions. ‘Whether you are an undergraduate or a graduate student, you have probably experienced some anxiety in selecting the right program. We encourage students to be open to new ideas. There are no absolute guidelines or perfect choices. broaden your perspective. Ask about the specific educational and practical back- ground that they most value. In selecting a program, ask yourself these questions: ARE THE HELPING PROFESSIONS: “Will the program give me what Ineed to do the work I want to do? ‘entation of the program fit with my values? Am Icompatible with th Deciding Which Professional Route to Take ‘Students often ask which professional specialty we think is best for them. You take many routes as a helper in the human services. You might ask: “Shor obtain information on the educational and training background various professions, 7 cee At he undergraduate level humarvservces programs tin practioner communitragency work, eerily for drug tndalcohel Sains ‘ation, counseling psychology, and clinical psychology. Each specialization has ‘own perspective and emphasizes different roles and functions for practitioner