THE @FHER SCHOOL Scot by DOUGAL IRVINE and DOMINIC MARSH Uusie awd lyrics by DOUGAL IRVINE a THEATRICALS Pose cnocnua cna theatricals@mh.com wow.anh.com The Other School © Copyright 2014 by Dougal Irvine and Dominic Marsh Administered exclusively by R&H Theatricals (Europe) Ltd for UK, Europe and The EEA (including Scandinavia and the Baltic States) and Switzerland, Russia and the Former Tertitorics of the USSR and the Gulf States of Saudia Arabia, UAE, Bahrain, Oman, QatarCOPYRIGHT WARNING Professionals and amateurs are hereby advised that this material is fully protected by copyright throughout the world. All tights, including performance of any kind by professionals or amateurs, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio or television broadcast, cable television, videotape, audio recording, motion pictures and rights of translation into foreign languages are strictly reserved. Any performance, copying (including photocopying), arranging, adapting, inserting or storing in a retrieval system, transmitting in any form by any means whatsoever, including mechanical or electronic, of any portion of this material without the prior written consent of the copyright owners is an infringement of copyright thereby entitling the copyright owners to injunctive and other relief to the full extent of the law.CAST OF CHARACTERS REAL WORLD OTHER SCHOOL Polly Parish ‘Mr Morton (adult) Kester Parish Caretaker (adult) Ms Parish (adutt) Headmistress (adult) Bereavement Counsellor (adult) Axel Barny Daniel Carol ~ Barny's Mum (adult) School Secretary (adult) Bamy’s Gran (adult) Nigel Doctor (adult) Wilkes Sarali Sideup Leonard Ellen Kate the dinner lady (adult) Janine Samantha Georgie School Students, Mourners Zoe Tom Axthur ‘Tyrone Jasmine Bleanor Becky Donald. School StudentsMUSICAL SYNOPSIS ACT ONE Overture = Band Boring ~ Polly, Kester, School Students How I Got to School — Other Schoal Students, Mr Morton Tf Tt Were There... - Daniel, Other School Students Emotional Education ~ The Head Bedside — Ms Parish It’s a Fine Fine Life (When you're Dead) — Other School Students It’s Okay to Be You ~ Kester; Polly Head and Heart ~ The Caretaker Ye NAHE Ye 10. Funeral - Ensemble 11. Am I Ready? — Polly ACT TWO. 12. Mr Morton's Interesting Facts About Death ~ Mr Morton, Other School Students 13. My Fault ~ Ms Parish 14, Let’s Get Living ~ Barny, Barny’s Gran, Polly, Emremble 15. Brain Food ~ Kate the Dinner Lady 16. Do You Remember? — Kester, Polly 17. No Body at the Wheel — Axel, Ms Parish, Other School Students 18. Scared — Polly, Ms Parish 19. Head Office — Polly, Other School Characters 20. What Matters — Kester, Polly, Other School Characters 21. What Matters (reprise) ~ KesterACT ONE SCENE ONE (A large group take the stage. Menacing... almost Zombie like...) POLLY Kester! I'll kill you! Gimme that! (Acrowd of students waiting for a bus, They’re all plugged into their mobile phones. Polly (15) catches up with her brother Kester (13) who is reading from the cover of a book, Music intro...) KESTER “Coping with Social Anxiety Disorder. A step by step guide to overcoming your fear of strangers.” You don’t have a disorder. POLLY I’'monly reading it. KESTER “... fear of being humitiated by one’s own actions.” What does hum POLLY It means if you don’t give my book back I'll eviscerate you. KESTER Enough of the long words! Look, meeting people isn’t hard, sis’. They don’t bite. You just need a reason to say hello. (He lobs the book into the crowd, Someone catches it) POLLY Kester! What did you do that for? KESTER This is our fifth new school in five years. That's four times you've had the chance to make friends and bottled it. Go get living. Ciao! (Kester heads over and mixes straight in with the crowd.) POLLY Ahh! | am so bored of my life. (SONG: BORING) (Polly tries to get the book. The students pass the book from person to person without looking up from their phones.) POLLY DO YOU WANT TO KILL YOUR BROTHER? ARE YOU ANGRY AT YOUR MOTHER? AS YOU MOVE TO YET ANOTHER TOWN? STUDENTS ‘LIKE’POLLY STUDENTS POLLY STUDENTS POLLY STUDENTS, POLLY STUDENTS POLLY STUDENTS POLLY ALL MUMS’ JOB KEEPS CHANGING LIVES ARE REARRANGING YET AGAIN IT REALLY GETS ME DOWN “LIKE? I DON’T MAKE NEW FRIENDS EASILY VM REJECTED BY EVERY CLIQUE WEIRDO Is IT THEM? 1S IT ME? IS IT NORMAL TO BE FEELING LIKE | AM A NUMBER ONE FREAK? SHE'S A FREAK IS IT JUST SOME PHASE? DOES IT GET BETTER THAN THIS? CAUSE IT’S SO BORING HEARD IT ALL BEFORE BORING LIFE IS SUCH A BORE BORING AND THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND, AND ROUND AND ROUND (Pally finds a chain lying on the ground. She picks it up.) POLLY Ha! Kester, you dropped your chain! (Kester panics, losing his cool and comes running back.) KESTER Give me that back!POLLY You know Mum doesn’t like you wearing it. KESTER She can’t stop me wearing something Dad gave me. (He tries to get it off her, but she’s too strong for him.) POLLY Go get my book back. Ciao! KESTER Arghh, KESTER MY SISTER’S KINDA MESSED UP LOOK AT THE WAY SHE'S DRESSED UP. TELLIN’ ALL THE WORLD TO GET LOST STUDENTS “UNLIKE” KESTER MUM AND DAD GET A DIVORCE WELL IT HAPPENS BUT OF COURSE IT’S THE KIDS WHO REALLY BEAR THE COST STUDENTS “UNLIKE” KESTER HTRY NOT TO CARE TRY TO KEEP THE HEAVY STUFF OFF OF MY BACK RIGHT NOW I’M MORE CONCERNED. WITH MY BODY ON THE TURN CAUSE | HEAR THAT PUBERTY'S WHACK I'M THIRTEEN YEARS OLD I SHOULD BE RUNNING THE WORLD. CAUSE IT’S SO BORING STUDENTS —_LIFE’S SO PREDICTABLE KESTER BORING STUDENTS — PICK A BOX OR TICK ‘EM ALL KESTER BORINGSTUDENTS AND THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO. ROUND AND ROUND, AND ROUND AND ROUND. BORING STUDY EVERYDAY BORING WHEN THERE’S NO JOBS ANYWAY BORING AND THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND (They exchange the book and the chain.) POLLY Truce? KESTER Truce. POLLY Whatever doesn’t kill you...? KESTER Makes you laugh BOTH Haha. (They simultaneously do their motto hand gesture.) POLLY Here comes the bus. | dare you not to push to the front. (Kester races off. Polly looks at her book.) POLLY DOI REALLY HAVE A PROBLEM? AND WILL THIS THING SHOW ME? COULD | SURVIVE WITHOUT MY BROTHER? HE’S ONLY THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY KNOWS ME AND ALL WANNA DO IS LEAVE ALL THIS BEHIND THE WORLD IS SUCH A MAD MAD PLACE {COULD ALMOST LIVE INSIDE MY MIND MY MIND MY MIND (Scene change into...)SCENE TWO — THE GATES POLLY Looks like we're here. Where did everyone go? KESTER (Looking at phone) Woah! No reception. POLLY This doesn’t look right. KESTER Today just got so much more painful POLLY Does this look like St Raphael's Academy? KESTER It’s a school. They all look the same to me. POLLY You're such a delinquent. KESTER And your spots are weeping. POLLY Arggh! (The gates swing open. Various diverse groups of students shoot past and around them. Noise, animated movement. Some students spot them.) NIGEL Check out the rookie recruits! TOM Must be double troublet NIGEL Wonder how they got here... (Ayoung, well spoken boy, Arthur, approaches Polly and Kester carrying a flyer.) POLLY | think we caught the wrong bus. Mum’s gonna kill us. KESTER Chill your beans sis’. Looks okay to me, Cool uniforms. ARTHUR Yes they're rather fetching, aren’t they? Welcome to the school! I'm Arthur. | was prefect at my old school. { assume I can count on your vote? KESTER Why don’t you go hang out with the kids in your class? ARTHUR My class? That'll be the day! There’s hardly anyone else Old Money around here. | suppose they’re more careful. (He spots gang.) ARTHUR Oh! Must dash. (He sprints off as Axel, Wilkes & Leonard appear.) AXEL There he is!(They give chase... Wilkes pauses by POLLY.) WILKES Mmmm. Fresh Meat! LEONARD Yeah... What? (The Caretaker has suddenly appeared.) CARETAKER | can tell you've not been here before. First time? KESTER Yeah. Are you a teacher? CARETAKER Of course not, dear. (Jangle of keys) I'm the Caretaker. POLLY I'm sorry, but I don’t think we're meant to be here. CARETAKER Are you sure about that? POLLY We've got no reception. Could we borrow a phone to ring our Mum? CARETAKER You two need to get to class. POLLY But... CARETAKER You'll find your answers there. Sorry | can’t help. it’s always extra hard on your first day. KESTER We're used to first days. Which way to the action, mate? CARETAKER | haven't the slightest idea what you mean, dear. (He “opens” o door.) CARETAKER The class you want is in there. KESTER Cheers mate. CARETAKER You take care now! (transition into...)SCENE THREE - The Classroom (We are suddenly in the classroom. General pre-lesson rowdiness and commotion. POLLY and KESTER sidle in.) POLLY This can’t be right. We can’t both be in the same class. As soon as the teacher gets here, I'm getting some answers. KESTER You really know how to get off to a winning start, don’t you? POLLY | hate you KESTER Works for me. Now go over there and try not to offend anybody. (Enter the teacher. Mr Morton is a self-assured yet weary teacher that long ago fell ‘out of love with the system.) MR MORTON QUIET! Do | have to dish out detentions before we've even started? Right. First day of term, you know the drill. It’s time for the Reason Register. (Excited reactions from the students.) MR MORTON Now, on your feet, each of you. A few sentences on what happened, And | mean a few sentences Samantha. ALL Not half a novel! MR MORTON Come on. Jasmine, you start. (SONG: HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL) JASMINE You lot are gonna suffer when I get to go first Cause everybody knows that my story’s the worst Iwas going down the shops it was Saturday morning, | was feeling fine but then without warning This thirty-year old woman falls out of the sky Turns out she’s sick of living and she wants to die And she’s jumping off the roof, tryin’ to end it all ‘And i'm the lucky one who goes and breaks her fall A second either way and it wouldn’t have mattered She would have missed me and my bones wouldn’t have shattered She survives do | get thanks for saving her ass? No, | get sent to school and now I'm in this class - innit ALL HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL IT WASN'T FAIR AND IT WASN'T COOLSAMANTHA, ALL NIGEL & TYRONE ARTHUR ALL HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL RANDOM FATE DECIDED HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL IF THERE’S A GOD HE MUST BE A TOOL HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL Now horse riding can be a dangerous sport But I took precautions or so | thought | had all the gear | had a nice hard hat But what I was unaware of was that Two miles away near a village called ‘Hooting’ A boy and his Daddy were in a field skeet shooting It just so happened they were using live rounds ‘And it happened | was riding on the edge of the grounds The boy cries ‘pull’ and shoots at the clay pigeon But the glint of the sun makes him miss by a smidgeon The bullet flies two miles clean through the air And it gets me in the neck man it’s just not fair HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL IT WASN'T FAIR AND IT WASN'T COOL HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL RANDOM FATE DECIDED HOW | GOT TO SCHOOL IF THERE’S A GOD HE MUST BE A TOOL HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL WE WAS PLAYING WITH OUR FOOTBALL TEAM WHEN A LIGHTENING BOLT HIT A NEARBY STREAM THANKS TO CONDUCTIVITY WE GOT HERE BY ELECTRICITY SUMMER HOLS IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE RUN OVER BY AN AMBULANCE IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY DRIVE THE WRONG WAY NOT MY FAULT I'M HERE TODAY HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL HOW I GOT TO SCHOOLLEONARD ALL ELEANOR, ALL WILKES. ALL BECKY Tom ALL STUDENTS LIFE CAN STRIKE YOU OH SO RANDOM THINGS JUST HAPPEN YOU CAN'T PLAN THEM SOME THINGS ARE ACCIDENTAL THAT DON'T STOP ‘EM DRIVING YOU MENTAL There was a power cut, | got lost in the dark | fell off a cliff and got ate by a shark! HOW | GOT TO SCHOOL HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL Just one stray hair in my can of coke Got stuck in my gullet and | started to choke! HOW | GOT TO SCHOOL HOW | GOT TO SCHOOL That stupid surgeon we met in Sydney Got the scan upside down - removed the wrong kidney! HOW | GOT TO SCHOOL HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL My hair got caught in a roller coaster! | was electrocuted by a brand new toaster! HOW 1 GOT TO SCHOOL HOW | GOT TO SCHOOL IF YOU'RE IN AN EARTHQUAKE ‘OR A TSUNAMI OR SOME OTHER NATURAL DISASTER YOU MAY END UP HERE UNDER THE RULE OF THIS SADISTIC MASTER (Mr Morton reacts and grins a toothy grin.) ALL HOW 1 GOT TO SCHOOL IT WASN'T FAIR AND IT WASN’T COOL10 HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL HERE WE ARE FOREVER HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL FATE IS SOMETHING WE CAN'T RULE HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL HOW 1 GOT TO SCHOOL (Song ends.) MR MORTON Right, thank goodness that’s over. Now, who can decline for m ARTHUR Sir. Two of us didn't register, sir. MR MORTON What? TOM New kids, sir. MR MORTON New students. ALL Qooh MR MORTON They don’t pay me enough for this. Very well, names? KESTER Kester and Polly Parish. Sir. MR MORTON Siblings, eh? Your reason? POLLY Sorry? MR MORTON Haven't you been listening for the last five minutes? You must know why you're here. You must know. POLLY I don’t think we do, sir. I think there must have been some sort of mistake. ‘AXEL, Ay, ay? Looks like some of us don’t know where they are! (Laughter breaks out amongst students.) ’ AXEL Come on, you must have had a little accident? WILKES Yeah, just a teeny one! (More niggers.) MR MORTON Quiet! Daniel? (Daniel is a youngish student. He is in complete denial anything around him exists.) DANIEL Who said that? ju IMR MORTON None of your wise cracks you little runt. Take these two to the office. They're clearly in as much denial as you are. (Excitable chat is rising amongst the students.) MR MORTON Thank you class for your great tact and maturity. Now (at the blackboard), who can decline for me the phrase “Habeo Rigor Mortis”? (The three of them leave and we are suddenly outside the classroom.)2 SCENE FOUR - Outside the Classroom/Through the grounds KESTER What did he mean denial? This place is screwed. Alll those kids banging on about accidents. Are we supposed to have been in an accident then? POLLY I don’t know, | can’t remember what happened before we got here. KESTER Woah! Neither can I! POLLY There must be a logical explanation for all this. Let’s try and figure it out together okay? (To Daniel) It’s Daniel isn’t it? DANIEL No it isn’t. POLLY The teacher called you Daniel. DANIEL What teacher? KESTER The one in the classroom. Where we just came from. Hello? Are you blind or something? POLLY Kester! Insensitive! DANIEL I'm not blind. There’s nothing to see. Eyes can deceive. Senses can lic. KESTER He’s mental, POLLY Are you taking us to the Office? DANIEL (Delivered in a rush.) I'm not taking you anywhere because there’s nowhere to take you to! KESTER | don’t think he’s all there, (As a sneeze) Psycho-path! POLLY Kester! DANIEL He's right! 'm not all there. None of this is ‘all there’. (He leans in conspiratorially) Don’t let the lies control you. Now pay attention. | am not going to give you a tour of the school. if you would please not look to your right. (SONG: IF IT WERE THERE) DANIEL YOU'D SEE THE SCHOOL CANTEEN WHERE THEY SERVE FOOD ALMOST EVERY DAY SCHOOL DINNERS SUCK ANYWAY YESB IF IT WERE THERE (A school Canteen complete with Dinner Lady, Kate holding serving spoon.) KATE Cooee Daniel, I've made your favourite. DANIEL THE DINNER LADY'S NAME ISN'T KATE AND SHE ISN'T OVER WEIGHT ‘CAUSE SHE DOESN'T STEAL FOOD FROM YOUR TRAY EVERY DAY CAUSE SHE’S NOT THERE KATE See you later! DANIEL YOU CAN IGNORE THAT DOOR ITIS NOTA LIBRARY WHERE YOU'LL FIND BOOKS NO LOOKS: PLEASE NOBODYS EVEN THERE (Lots of children run past carrying books.) STUDENTS YEAH!! (They're now nearing lots of students exercising, jumping on trampolines, doing aerobics.) DANIEL EVERYONE AND YONDER WE CAN'T WANDER PAST THE GYIVINASIUM CRAZY UM CHILDREN DOING EXERCISES EXERCISES EXERCISES HOO HA HOO HA HOO HA HOO HA, HOO HA HOO HA,4 DANIEL THEY'RE NOT EVEN THERE (Students now approach Daniel with their problems) ELEANOR VE BEEN SET FAR TOO MUCH HOMEWORK DANIEL NO YOU HAVEN'T DONALD IT’S NEARLY TIME FOR OUR BREAK DANIEL NO IT’S NOT STUDENTS — WE LIKE TO PLAY WITH DANIEL HE’S SO FUNNY DANIEL IT'S ALL FAKE (They're now on the football pitch, Daniel kicks a ball from the penalty spot and scores.) DANIEL I WILL NOT YIELD 1AM NOT ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD TYRONE GREAT SHOT DANIEL NO IT’S NOT TOM NOW IT’S MY TURN DANIEL WILL YOU LEARN YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT THERE STUDENTS — WE'RE NOT THERE (Daniel is now in goal saving penalties.) DANIEL 1AM IN CONTROL 1AM NOT IN GOAL I CANNOT SAVE PENALTIES15 (He saves a penalty — they all cheer.) DANIEL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL EVERYONE NO FUN GO AWAY IsAY ISAY IsAY [AM NOT THERE DANIEL (he continues softly) | am not there. | am not there. | am not there... ZOE Look out, it’s Axel! (The students leg it, Axel, Wilkes and Leonard approach.) KESTER Hey, where did they all go? AXEL Well, well! Ifit isn’t the dinner lady's boyfriend! DANIEL 1 am not there... lam not there... AXEL | got detention because of you. WILKES Yeah, he got dentures. LEONARD Yeah, What? AXEL You two shut it! (To Danie/) You told me we didn’t have any homework from that class I bunked off, So | didn’t do any. And that got me detention, And detention makes me angry. Are you listenin’ to me? DANIEL I can’t hear you. You're not there. AXEL [ll make you wish | wasn’t there. KESTER Oi! Leave him alone. AXEL Look lads, someone's taken a shine to little Daniel. Careful. You don’t wanna make that ugly dinner lady jealous! (The Caretaker has appeared.) CARETAKER I do hope we're not referring to Ms Pepper? WILKES Uh-oh!46 CARETAKER Because if I thought you were up to no good Axel, | might put you back in detention. (He “opens” a door. Scary noise happens from within. The boys are terrified.) AXEL | wasn’t up to nothing. Come on boys. (They leg it. The Caretaker closes the door and pauses by Polly.) CARETAKER Are you two alright? KESTER What the hell just happened? DANIEL Nothing. (Danie! wanders off.) POLLY We're looking for the office. CARETAKER You do get lost easily, don’t you? It’s through here... (He “opens” another door, and has suddenly shown them into the Schoo! Office. He disappears.)7 SCENE FIVE - School Office (School Secretary sits at a desk engaged in some sort of death related activity.) KESTER Um... Hello? SCHOOL SECRETARY How can | help you today? KESTER We think there’s been a big mistake. POLLY My brother and | are not supposed to be here. KESTER We'd like to go home SCHOOL SECRETARY One at a time. Name? KESTER Kester Parish SCHOOL SECRETARY Can you spell that for me? KESTER K-E-S-T-E-R Parish. SCHOOL SECRETARY Can you spell that for me? KESTER P-A-R-I-S-H. SCHOOL SECRETARY Bear with me. (She consults the computer for a beat.) SCHOOL SECRETARY Yes, we have a Kester Parish. Started here today. Post Accident. KESTER | haven’t had an accident! SCHOOL SECRETARY You'll be needing your Reason of course. KESTER What? SCHOOL SECRETARY Bear with me. (She produces an envelope from a filing cabinet.) SCHOOL SECRETARY That's for you. (She hands the envelope to Kester.) SCHOOL SECRETARY You'll need it for the Reason Register. You can open it here or later if you prefer. Most people like to find somewhere quiet... you know... POLLY He's not going anywhere! Look, can we use your phone please?18 SCHOOL SECRETARY And your name is? POLLY (exasperated) Polly Parish, P-O-LL-Y. (SCHOOL SECRETARY consults computer) SCHOOL SECRETARY You're sure? POLLY Yes I'm sure that’s my name. SCHOOL SECRETARY Ab-ha. (She hits the intercom button.) SCHOOL SECRETARY Hi, so sorry to bother you, there’s someone not on the system. She's standing right in front of me. Absolutely. Will do. (Rising from the desk, to Polly.) SCHOOL SECRETARY Head wants to see you. Through there, off you go. (to Kester) You can g0 back to class. POLLY Hang on, what's going on? SCHOOL SECRETARY Straight down the corridor. Can’t miss it. Criop chop. POLLY I'm not leaving him. SCHOOL SECRETARY You'll catch him later I'm sure. POLLY But.. SCHOOL SECRETARY You don’t want to keep the Head waiting. Off you go. (And the Secretary has left with Polly. Transition into...)as SCENE SIX - Head Office (The HEAD, powerfully dressed is sitting behind a desk.) HEAD Polly Parish, POLLY What’s going on? Is there something wrong with my brother? HEAD It may seem that way but right now it’s more about you. Allow me to explain. By now you've probably noticed this is not just another school. The educational programme we provide here is specifically tailored to our students. They all fulfil the basic criterion for attendance. Being... no longer elsewhere. POLLY I don’t understand HEAD Perhaps it would help if | Informed you of your brother’s Reason. Kester was knocked down in the road by a large moving vehicle. A school bus. POLLY Kester was with me next door. He's fine! HEAD I'm very sorty. It’s always hard with children. They often have difficulty adjusting. Which is why we are here. (She sings — EMOTIONAL EDUCATION) HEAD THOSE SOULS WHO STUMBLE AND THOSE WHO FALL WHY LEAVE THEM OUT IN THE SNOW? WE OFFER KNOWLEDGE WE OFFER PEACE WE TEACH THEM WHICH WAY TO GO 7 WE CATER FOR THE OTHER THOSE CHILDREN LIKE — YOUR BROTHER HEAD And now to you Polly. You must have arrived here with your brother by mistake. Well, | am always happy to accommodate new students, even if they are a little... exceptional. I’m happy to offer you a place. POLLY What, you mean stay here? HEAD There is no school quite like this school Polly. You'll soon fit in. POLLY | can’t stay here. Mum'll go nuts. HEAD Well of course she will. | think under the circumstances a little... bending of the rules may be necessary. I'll make you a deal.20 (She produces a pass from somewhere.) HEAD This is an emergency pass. You may use it to come and go. Take it to the school gates and you will be... returned home. Now: listen. This is important. Do not show the pass to any of the students, understand? That's your side of the bargain. | t POLLY What about Kester? I HEAD Any students. POLLY But! don’t want to stay here. HEAD He belongs with us now. Rest assured Polly. He’s in the best possible hands. HEAD NO NEED TO TROUBLE YOUR HEART MY DEAR ASCHOOLS THE BEST PLACE TO BE HE’LL LEARN THE WAYS, OF IMMORTAL LIFE HIS HOME FOR ETERNITY | (Blackout.) {2 SCENE SEVEN — Hospital Corridor (MS PARISH in a hospital corridor. BARNY (14) enters clutching a bouquet of flowers. Barny has a disarming directness that is both tactless and innocently charming.) BARNY Hello. Ms Parish? Um... I'm Barny. From next door? (indicates Carol) My Mum spoke to you over the fence. MS PARISH Oh yes. Hello. BARNY We wanted to give you these. They're for Polly as well. We're very sorry for your loss. MS PARISH Thank you, BARNY Mum said to say if there’s anything you need doing at the house... MS PARISH That's very kind. (Barny turns to go, then after a prompt from his Mum....) BARNY Mum says everybody needs good neighbours. (Borny and Carol exit. The DOCTOR enters.) DOCTOR Ms Parish? I've looked at Polly's scan. There are signs of mild concussion but she’s suffered no permanent damage. Nothing to worry about. MS PARISH That's good DOCTOR Have you left her to sleep? MS PARISH | think she’s asleep. It’s hard to tell. I've been talking to her, like you said, but it’s like she's staring right through me. DOCTOR She's still in shock. | know it must be disconcerting but she'll come round. It takes time. MS PARISH How long? DOCTOR A few days. Maybe longer. And then she'll need a lot of support. Grief is a complicated process, particularly with children. They have to find their own path. (He hands her a leaflet.) DOCTOR There are documented stages you'll be familiar with - denial, anger, depression... MS PARISH Okay.22, DOCTOR She may do anything she can to avoid feeling the pain of the loss. MS PARISH (reading leaflet) What's ‘bargaining with a higher power’? DOCTOR it’s one of the stages. If there's someone, or something she believes could change things she may try and reason with them. It’s hard but, eventually, Polly has to accept the world without her brother. MS PARISH How long will that take? DOCTOR | really can’t say. It’s important we don’t rush her. She will find her own path. Children can be surprisingly resilient. Has anyone spoken to you about bereavement counselling? MS PARISH No. DOCTOR (I'll make sure a counsellor gets in touch. You should consider it too. (He goes to leave.) MS PARISH Kesters’ funeral. It’s next Wednesday. DOCTOR Well, | think it best we try and get her there, although it won't be easy for her. Did you manage to get hold of their father? MS PARISH It’s not very straight forward. He left... We've not had contact in years. DOCTOR I see. Perhaps the Hospital can help? MS PARISH Can they do that? DOCTOR I'll speak to the admin staff. We'll see. (DOCTOR exits. SONG: HOSPITAL, During the song we see Kester in the Other School.) IMS PARISH WHERE ARE YOU POLLY? INEED YOU TO WAKE THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO IT’S JUST ME AND YOU THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO TAKE YOUR BROTHER ~ HE’S GONE AND EVERYTHING'S... ENED YOU RIGHT HERE “ SO PLEASE, POLLY DEAR COME BACK23 SCENE EIGHT (Somewhere in the Other School. Kester stands dejected, clutching his opened Reason.) ZOE Alright newbie? You get why you're here now? TOM (reading over Kester’s shoulder) Oooh! Hit by a bus! That's gotta hurt. Where'd your sister go? KESTER Sod off! ZOE Easy on him guys. Its alright. You belong with us now mate. GEORGIE It’s hard when you first find out, isn’t it? ZOE | remember my first day. | couldn't believe | was... (Makes death noise.) GEORGIE We've all been through it. Honestly, it’s really not that bad being... being... KESTER I’m dead, okay? Why is everyone so scared of saying it? Dead, dead, dead! SAMANTHA Well said. Loud and proud. TYRONE That's the spirit mate. TOM Spirit —hal JASMINE Tom. He’s right though. Just ‘cause you're dead, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good laugh about it. ZOE Yeah, it doesn't mean your life's over. Well it does. But it doesn’t. There are distinct advantages to being, shall we say... not quite alive. . (SONG: IT’S A FINE FINE LIFE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD) ZOE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD THERE IS AN END TO SUFFERING NO-ONE CAN HURT YOU ANY MORE GO ON AND TRY IT ~ STICK YOUR HAND RIGHT HERE NOW SMASH YOUR FINGERS IN THE DOOR See, no pain! GEORGIE YOU'RE NOW IMMUNE TO VIRUSES YOU'LL NEVER CATCH A COUGH NIGEL YOUR HEAVY CLOTHES NO NEED FOR THOSESO GO ON =TAKE ‘EM OFF ALL WHEN YOU'RE DEAD WHEN YOU'RE DEAD ITIS AFINE FINE LIFE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD WHEN YOU'RE DEAD ITIS A FINE FINE LIFE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD ‘WILKES WHEN YOURE DEAD NO NEED TO WATCH YOUR FIGURE CALORIES WON'T MAKE YOU FAT TOM NOBODY WAKES YOU UP BEFORE SIX-THIRTY ARTHUR AND NO-ONE MAKES YOU FEED THE CAT AXEL ‘SO GRAB YOURSELF A CIGARETTE SOME VODKA AND SOME ICE AXEL, WILKES WE DRINK AND SMOKE AND HERE’S THE JOKE & LEONARD IT CAN'T KILL YOU TWICE ALL WHEN YOU'RE DEAD WHEN YOU'RE DEAD IT IS A FINE FINE LIFE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD WHEN YOU'RE DEAD ITIS A FINE FINE LIFE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD WHEN YOU'RE DEAD IT1S A FINE FINE LIFE NOW YOU'RE DEAD YOU'VE GOT THE CHANCE TO JOIN US IN A LITTLE.... BREAK DANCE! (They ‘break’ dance, snapping their limbs and twisting themselves into a variety of weird shapes. POLLY enters, shocked at what she is seeing.) POLLY Kester! What's going on!? 425 KESTER Thisis brilliant. Come and have a go. POLLY No way! NIGEL Come on, don’t be a wuss! (Snaps limb.) ZOE Yeah! It’s easy! (Snaps limb) See? (Laughter ail round — they continue the break dance, with Kester at the head.) ALL WHEN YOU'RE DEAD JASMINE No more kissing your Granny With her stinking breath ALL WHEN YOU'RE DEAD. LEONARD No more trips to the dentist He scared me to death! ALL WHEN YOU'RE DEAD. WILKES You'll never get an itch Or diarrhoea again! ALL WHEN YOU'RE DEAD KESTER You'll never ever get rung by one of those credit card companies based in India. Every day when | was trying to do my homework! ALL WHEN YOU'RE DEAD WHEN YOU'RE DEAD WHEN YOU'RE DEAD IT IS A FINE FINE LIFE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD — YEAH! (End of Song —Alll the STUDENTS congratulate Kester on completing his initiation.) POLLY Kester, I need to talk to you. KESTER Anything you have to say to me you can say in front of my mates, (Noises of general agreement.)26 POLLY They aren’t your mates. Look at them! They’re like a bunch of zombies. (The crowd are shocked.) JASMINE We don’t use words like that any more. Come on guys. We'll be in the canteen, Kes. KESTER |'llbe right there. TOM Nice one Kes! Make it snappy. (TOM snops limb. Laughter all round, Students start to leave.) KESTER What? POLLY We're leaving. Now. The Head gave me this pass. It's a way out of the school. KESTER What? POLLY They sent me to the Head because | don’t have a Reason. I'm here by mistake. This is a way out and I'm taking you with me. KESTER You're not dead? POLLY We need to get to the school gates. Back to life. KESTER | can’t go back. POLLY Please... KESTER | can’t. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing. 'm picking up new skills (He snaps a limb.) POLLY Stop it! KESTER Why? POLLY It freaks me out. (He snaps another.) POLLY Kester! KESTER it doesn’t hurt. POLLY You do that one more time... KESTER You'll what? Your kill me? POLLY Let's just go. We don’t belong here.KESTER You always say that. Every time we start a new school it’s the same. ! fit in. You insist on being the odd one out. (SONG: IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU) KESTER IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU YOU NEVER LET ANYONE NEAR YOU IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU NO WONDER THE OTHER KIDS FEAR YOU AND | AM THE ONE WHO SAYS “IT’S ONLY MY SISTER IT'S JUST HER IDEA OF FUN...” IT’S HER WAY IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU KESTER Like when you wore that ‘Meat Is Murder’ t-shirt. You knew what would happen. POLLY | was standing up for animal rights. KESTER What about my right not to get my head kicked in because of your stupid stunts? POLLY IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU TO SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE BEING IN FASHION IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU TO HANG WITH THE GANG IS YOUR ONLY PASSION WELL I THINK IT’S SAD TO DO WHAT EVERYONE DOES JUST BECAUSE IT’S A FAD THAT'S YOUR WAY IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU (They arm wrestle during the next section.) BOTH KESTER POLLY KESTER BOTH IT'S OKAY TO BE YOU WITH YOUR GRADES, YOUR STUPID HAIR CUT What? IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU aKESTER POLLY BOTH 28 YOU ALWAYS GET FIRST CHOICE OF ROOM. THAT'S NOT FAIR BUT | KNOW I’M RIGHT V'D RATHER BE YOU THAN IN MY SHOES TONIGHT IT's TRUE AT THE END OF THE DAY IT'S OKAY IT'S OKAY etc. KESTER Seriously? You'd rather be me? Who's in the worse situation here? POLLY Then come with me. Back to Mum. She'd want you to leave. KESTER Mum’d want me to settle in and not make a fuss. You're the one she worries about. POLLY What? That's not true! KESTER You made sure of that a long time ago. KESTER POLLY No... KESTER IT'S OKAY TO BE YOU WHEN DAD DECIDED TO LEAVE IT'S OKAY TO BE YOU TO STEAL MUM AWAY — NO DON'T BE NAIVE SHE TOOK YOUR SIDE “KESTER’S OKAY HE'S GOT FRIENDS IN WHOM HE CAN CONFIDE” HAPPY DAY IT'S OKAY TO BE YOU POLLY I never said that. KESTER Fine. Lie to yourself if you want. POLLY IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE THE FUTURE IT’S OKAY TO BE YOU ‘THIS SCHOOL MAY HAVE BEEN BUILT TO SUIT YA’ A PERFECT PLACE WHILE | HAVE TO GO HOME AND LOOK MUM IN THE FACEINSTEAD IT'S OKAY. KESTER Go on. POLLY IT'S OKAY. KESTER Say it. POLLY ‘CAUSE YOU'RE ..... KESTER So you know why | can’t go back Polly. (Kester runs off. POLLY bursts into tears.) 2930 ‘SCENE NINE - Caretaker’s Office (The Caretaker appears with a chair.) CARETAKER Polly Parish? Come this way. If anyone knows anything about being depressed it’sme. (He helps her up and sits her down.) CARETAKER There we go. Have a seat. (Hums a tune.) (He hands her a tissue.) POLLY What am | supposed to do now? CARETAKER | would have thought someone of your age would know how to use a tissue. (She blows her nose. The Caretaker hands her a mug.) CARETAKER Nicely done. Drink this. POLLY Thanks. You're a good caretaker. (He suppresses a sob.) POLLY What's the matter? CARETAKER How can | take care of anything? Surrounded by all this death. What's the point of it all? (Beat) Sorry. . POLLY I didn’t mean/to upset you. CARETAKER /I know who you are Polly Parish. And your poor brother. So tragic. Even so, | do hope the Head has made arrangements for you to leave. POLLY I'm not leaving for good. I’ve got an emergency pass so I can come and go. CARETAKER A pass? Let me see. (Polly shows him.) CARETAKER How did you get this? POLLY The Headmistress. CARETAKER This is extremely dangerous. It could cause all sorts of trouble, POLLY Why? CARETAKER It’s a free ride out of here. if the students found out, it would be catastrophic.31 POLLY | promised to keep it secret. CARETAKER | bet you did. She's got you wrapped round her little finger hasn’t she? POLLY What do you mean? (The Caretaker looks nervously around.) CARETAKER The Head doesn’t want you to leave, she wants to keep you coming back. Take my advice dear, use this pass once and once only. You go home and you stay there. You in this school. don’t want to spend any more POLLY What's wrong with it? A bit weird; a school for dead kids, but | could think of worse places. CARETAKER That's the problem dear, you're thinking. You're not feeling. This school was founded on a lie. POLLY What lie was that? CARETAKER She wouldn't want me telling you this. Listen. (SONG: HEAD AND HEART) CARETAKER — THERE ONCE WAS A TUSSLE BETWEEN A HEAD AND A HEART A TRAGEDY BEFELL THEM AND TORE THEM BOTH APART THE HEAD BELIEVED WHEN SOMEONE DIES THEIR SOUL IS TRULY GONE ‘THAT DIDN'T SUIT THE HEART FOR IT WAS DYING TO HANG ON THE HEART GOT SO EMOTIONAL THE HEAD COULD BARELY COPE AND SOIT TOLD ONE TINY LIE TO GIVE THE HEART SOME HOPE POLLY So what was the lie? CARETAKER It’s all around you dear. CARETAKER NOW TINY LIES ARE TINY SEEDS THAT PUT DOWN TINY ROOTS AND SOON BEFORE YOU KNOW ITTHEY ARE SPROUTING TINY SHOOTS ALIE BECOMES A SYSTEM ALE BECOMES A RULE IT FORMS AN INSTITUTION, RATHER LIKE A KIND OF SCHOOL THE HEAD ADMIRES THE BUILDING AND FORGETS IT ISN’T REAL AND ALL THIS TIME THE HEART HAS NOT ALLOWED ITSELF TO FEEL POLLY Do you mean this is happening right now? 32 CARETAKER (angry) Of course this is happening right now. To you. Your heart has suffered a great tragedy and your head is not allowing it access to the truth. POLLY What... what truth? (The Caretaker opens a door. The sound of thunder. Ms Parish enters and walks past them, unseeing. She wears funeral attire. Her head is bowed.) POLLY Mum? What's Mum doing here? CARETAKER STAY HERE ANY LONGER AND YOU'LL SURELY GO INSANE ‘THE WORLD IS MOVING ON OUT THERE YOU'RE STUCK INSIDE YOUR BRAIN YOUR HEAD MAY WELL CONVINCE YOU THAT IT MAKES SOME SORT OF SENSE YOUR HEAD IS STILL BELIEVING IN ITS! OWN MADE UP DEFENSE YOU NEED TO GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN YOU NEED TO START TO GRIEVE THE LONGER YOU STAY AT THIS SCHOOL THE HARDER YOU'LL FIND IT TO LEAVE (Polly steps through the door and follows her Mother, meanwhile a crowd is forming.) CARETAKER THE HARDER YOU'LL FIND IT TO LEAVE33 SCENE TEN - Funeral {it’s the real world, but viewed through a glass darkly. Kester’s funeral. A coffin is being carried by bearers. MS PARISH stands close by with neighbours. MUSIC: FUNERAL continues... The Caretaker has disappeared. Polly, stillin The Other School, gazes through the door at the Funeral. Kester approaches Polly.) KESTER Hey sis. | was looking for you. I thought you were leaving (Polly hugs him fiercely.) KESTER (he spies the scene through the door) Woah, what's this? POLLY | think it’s your funeral Kes. KESTER Oh. Okay. (Spots Mum) Hey Mum! Mum? She can’t hear me, can she? POLLY | don’t think so, no. (Polly joins him and takes his hand as they watch together.) KESTER I never thought I'd be watching my own funeral. Our next door neighbours have come. | never even met them. POLLY I'm so sorry Kes.. (The funeral is over. The crowds leave. Ms Parish passes near them.) KESTER Where's Dad? Didn’t Mum get in touch with him? I don’t care what he did, he should be here. This sucks. I'm going back to school. (Kester leaves the door and heads back to the Other School.) MS PARISH Come on Polly. Let’s go. Let’s go home. KESTER You're coming too, aren't you sis? You're not going to leave me? (Ms PARISH and KESTER both leave in opposite directions. Polly considers which way to go.) (SONG: AM I READY?} POLLY AM | READY TO GO? AM I READY TO LEAVE? HOME 1S A PLACE WHERE IT’S HARD TO GRIEVE THE PAIN’S TOO RAW THE PAIN’S TOO NEAR34 IS THERE SOME WAY I COULD JUST... STAY? ‘AM I READY FOR LIFE? AM | READY TO FEEL? LIFE IS A PLACE WHERE IT’S ALL TOO REAL THE WIND’S TOO COLD THE LIGHT'S TOO CLEAR LIFE’S WHERE YOU DIE AND SAY YOUR GOODBYE BUT I’M NOT READY V'M NOT READY OH MY HEADS A MESS OF EVERYTHING IMAY HAVE LOST MY MIND BUT HOW CAN JUST CHOOSE TO LEAVE MY BROTHER BEHIND? BEHIND? SO AM I READY TO LEAVE AM I READY TO COPE? WHY CAN’T I STAY IN THIS PLACE OF HOPE? | NEED MORE TIME ‘JO WORK THIS THROUGH VM NOT READY TO LEAVE THE OTHER V’M NOT READY TO LEAVE MY BROTHER (INTERVAL)35 ACT TWO SCENE 1 — Outside Bereavement Counsellors’ Office. (Six months on from Act |. POLLY and MS PARISH arrive at POLLY’s weekly counselling session. MS PARISH is frustrated, POLLY is furious.) POLLY Why not? MS PARISH | told you, I don’t think it’s healthy for you wear it. POLLY Kester wore that chain all the time behind your back. He's still mad at you for not bringing Dad to his funeral. MS PARISH Polly stop it! Why can’t you tell me more about your sessions? POLLY I’m not supposed to talk about them. They’re private. MS PARISH You're on new medication, I'd ike to know how you're feeling. POLLY Why don’t you just barge in Mum? Ask the councillor why I'm still popping pills after six months! MS PARISH | know it takes time. But if we're going to get you to St Raphael's Academy in September, I need to know certain things. POLLY What things? MS PARISH They’re an outstanding academy, asking for specific assurances. | have to convince them you don’t need to visit that place anymore, POLLY What place? Kester’s gone Mum. How I could ! possibly visit him? Ciao! (Ms Parish leaves. Polly touches her pass to her chest. MIR MORTON stands in front of his class. Music starts: MR MORTON’S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH) MR MORTON (to audience) Right! Pay attention you decomposing dung beetle desserts! | will be setting a test next week, so turn your minds to a blank page and prepare to have them boggled. MR MORTON 17'S MR MORTON'S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH IT’S MR MORTON'S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH ‘THE OTHERS SCHOOLS WON'T TEACH YOU. SO IT'S UP TO US TO REACH YOU WITH MR MORTON'S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH When a person dies their sensesGradually cease to function A pattern oft emerges At this fascinating junction The eyes go first, then taste and smell Then touch and last the ears do So say ‘ta ta’ as they slip away There’s a good chance he or she hears you IT’S MR MORTON'S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH STUDENTS — LALALALALALA MR MORTON IT’S MR MORTON'S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH STUDENTS — LALALALA MR MORTON IT’S ALL DOWN TO THE FIRING OF THE SYNAPSES EXPIRING THAT'S MR MORTON'S INTERESTING SCINTILATING FACTS ABOUT DEATH (Polly is now in the Bereavement Councillor's office. The class continues in the background.) BC So Polly, how's the new medication working out for you? POLLY It’s alright | suppose. It’s still an anti-depressant though, s6 I'm still officially crazy. BC No-one’s saying you're crazy. Plenty of people need to take anti-depressants. It helps them get by. POLLY Have you? BC Inthe past, yes I have. (Beat.) BC How’s your Mum? POLLY | thought we were discussing me? BC Would you prefer not to talk about her? POLLY She’s mad with me about the Facebook incident.BC The Facebook incident? (POLLY smiles a brilliant smile and rejoins the class.) MR MORTON Disposal of the body — well This varies across cultures Tibetan Buddhists chop them up And feed them to their vultures This is a far more eco friendly Method than embaiming The Uk’s use of formaldehyde Is environmentally harming MR MORTON IT’S MR MORTON'S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH STUDENTS LALALALALALA MR MORTON IT’S MR MORTON’S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH POLLY CREMATION IS NO GREENER KESTER IT’S EMISSIONS ARE NO CLEANER MR MORTON THAT’S MR MORTON'S INTERESTING, SCINTILATING, FASCINATING, STIMULATING FACTS ABOUT DEATH (POLLY is back in the Counsellor’s Office.) POLLY I've been keeping Kester’s Facebook page going. Photos, old jokes of his, stuff like that. Anyway, the other day | wrote “I wish I'd been buried in a more eco-friendly fashion.” Mum lost the plot. BC Isee. POLLY Well, it’s true. He said so himself. BC You mean he said so at the Other School? POLLY Do you know you're the only one who isn’t trying to stop me going there? BC Who's trying to stop you? POLLY Everyone. The Doctor. My new school. Mum. They don’t get it. I’m learning cool stuff, BC Like what?38 MR MORTON Polly Parish. Pay attention! (BC Exits. Polly rejoins the class.) MR MORTON The deadliest creature to mankind Does not have tusks or claws He has no poisonous tentacles Nor venom in his jaws. Two million deaths per year he claims And yet goes incognito Yes, he's that carrier of disease The anopheles mosquito ALL IT'S MR MORTON'S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH LALALALALALA {T'S MR MORTON'S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH MR MORTON The Third world wouldn’t fret so With new mosquito nets so That's MR MORTON'S INTERSTING, SCINTILATING, FASCINATING, STIMULATING, VIGOURATING, TITILLATING FACTS ABOUT DEATH (Polly turns to Kester.) POLLY How are you feeling? KESTER Fine. I’m always fine. Why are you always so worried? The worst has already happened. POLLY Just something that old Caretaker said. He told me to leave and never come back. Said it would all go wrong. He really freaked me out. KESTER You should hang out with these guys more, They're not that scary. What doesn’t kill you POLLY Makes you laugh. BOTH Ha Ha. (Motto hand gesture.) KESTER | wouldn't listen to that Caretaker. He sits in his office all day (Mimes drinking) POLLY Really? So who's taking care of the school then? KESTER Dunno. We can take care of ourselves.39 (They rejoin the class.) MR MORTON One hundred and fifty thousand souls ALL Depart with each new dawn But that’s okay, ‘cause each new day At least twice that are born The living are expanding at a terrifying pace If this continues there are facts They may well have to face They will need. MR MORTON’S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH LALALALALA IMR MORTON’S INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DEATH ALALALA IF THEY DON’T STOP THE BREEDING THEY WILL HAVE SOME TROUBLE FEEDING THEY NEED MR MORTON'S INTERESTING SCINTILATING, FASCINATING, STIMULATING, VIGOURATING, TITILLATING, EDUCATING, LIBERATING FACTS ABOUT.... Fail this test, Ill personally reincarnate each and every one of you, then kill you all over again. (End of song. Students begin clearing up the classroom. The Head appears with Axel.) HEAD Mr Morton, Shouldn't this be in your classroom? 7 MR MORTON | do apologise Headmistress. (To Axel) What is about my lessons you find so unilluminating Axel? (No response) Do you not wish to progress to higher education? AXEL It’s all the same, isn’t it? HEAD We're just not getting through, are we Axel? Perhaps a few weeks in detention will help you learn the value of education. AXEL Weeks? That's not fair. HEAD Atleast. MR MORTON | do admire your methods Headmistress. HEAD And won't have to ask you to control your pupils again, will 1?MR MORTON Of course not Headmistress. Thank you Headmistress. (She exits.) AXEL “Thank you Headmistress”, MR MORTON Move it. (They exit as we transition into the next scene) 40ar SCENE TWO - PARISH GARDEN {Polly's home. Ms Parish hangs out washing with CAROL - (40s) proactive, optimistic and organised, Her kindness masks an ability to always get her way. MUSIC: slow build intro into MY FAULT.) MS PARISH | suppose | feel so... disconnected from her right now. CAROL Honestly Sarah, you're being far too hard on yourself. She’s a teenager, it’s a trade. You provide food and shelter. They provide contempt. MS PARISH The Doctor said she would find her own path through this. CAROL He clearly doesn’t have children. My Barny couldn't find a path out of his pyjamas. You can’t just stop being a parent. MS PARISH She's always done things her own way. | always saw it as a good thing. {Ms PARISH sings: MY FAULT.) MS PARISH — SHE WAS SIX YEARS OLD WE WENT TO THE ZOO THEY HAD A GIANT PANDA AND A TALKING COCKATOO, BUT SHE WANTED TO SEE THE SPIDERS THE DEADLY POISONOUS SPIDERS ISAID “NO WAY” KESTER LOVED THE DOLPHINS WHO WERE FLIPPING OUT FOR FISH BUT THEN CAME THE ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE TANNOY “MS PARISH, WOULD YOU COME AND COLLECT YOUR DAUGHTER ‘THE ARACHNID HOUSE IS CLOSING FOR THE DAY” IT WAS “MY FAULT” I WAS A USELESS PARENT THEY SAID IT WAS, “MY FAULT YOUR CHILD WAS CLEARLY ERRANT” AND | SHOULD KEEP “CLOSER EYE” BUT THE SMILE ON HER FACE ‘AS SHE KISSED THAT HAIRY TARANTULAR GOODBYE (SFX. Phone ringing.) MS PARISH Excuse me.42 (The DOCTOR appears somewhere with a telephone.) MS PARISH Hello? DOCTOR Hello Ms Parish? It's Doctor Cartwright here. MS PARISH Oh, Hello. DOCTOR I’m pleased to say we've finally made contact. MS PARISH I’m sorry? DOCTOR With your ex-husband. MS PARISH Oh. DOCTOR Yes. No luck for so long and then out of the blue he rang the hospital this afternoon, MS PARISH Oh. DOCTOR He knows what happened. He’s keen to get in touch MS PARISH Right. DOCTOR Anyway, he left his phone number and an address, should you want them (Beat) MS PARISH Thank you Doctor DOCTOR Goodbye. MS PARISH Bye. (She hangs up, visibly disturbed.) CAROL Everything okay? MS PARISH Yes, thank you. You're very kind, CAROL Everybody needs good neighbours. | was thinking. Why don’t | get my Barny to pop round and see her? Would Polly like that? MS PARISH Maybe. I've given up trying to predict her. (The song continues.) MS PARISH — MOVING EVERY OTHER YEAR COULD HAVE SET HER BACK43 BUT WITH EVERYTHING LIFE THREW AT HER SHE KEPT IT ON THE TRACK LOOKING OUT FOR HER BROTHER BETTER THAN HER MOTHER | WAS SO PROUD. HOW ON EARTH SHE MANAGED WITH A FATHER NOT AROUND. AND A MOTHER ALWAYS WORKING DOUBLE SHIFTS INTO THE GROUND TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR THE MARRIAGE ‘THE MARRIAGE | SHOULD NEVER HAVE ALLOWED WAS IT MY FAULT? 1 KNEW WE WEREN'T READY WAS IT MY FAULT? SHOULD HAVE STUCK AT GOING STEADY BUT WHO WANTS TO TAKE IT SLOW AND IF | HAD ANOTHER CHANCE WOULD | DO IT ALL AGAIN? IGUESS I'LL NEVER KNOW. (CAROL exits.) MS PARISH ALL THESE THINGS WE LEAVE BEHIND US RIPPLE IN OUR WAKES HOW IS IT | ONLY SEE MY WORST MISTAKES (Polly enters and sits in the garden.) MS PARISH NOW IT’S JUST HER AND ME WHERE DO | START? 1AM JUST-A BREATH AWAY FROM FALLING APART AND | DON’T KNOW HOW TO HELP HER ‘SHE'S WAY BEYOND MY KEN AND IS IT MY FAULT? L CAN'T STOP THINKING IS IT MY FAULT? THE TWO OF US ARE SINKING IS IT ALL MY FAULT? FOR MAKING THIS WAY OF LIVING AND RIGHT NOW HERE ON EARTH44 THERE’S A MOTHER WHO NEEDS FORGIVING (She exits as Barny enters.)45 SCENE 3 —POLLY’S BEDROOM (Polly is reading the ‘Social Anxiety Disorder’ book from the first scene. BARNY hovers.) BARNY |'m Barny. Your new neighbour. Well, technically you're the new neighbour. And actually | wouldn’t really say you're new, when you've lived here six months! POLLY | know why you're here. My Mum spoke to your Mum who made you come and talk to the poor little girl with no friends next door. You don’t wanna be here. | don’t want you to be here. Now go away. BARNY Do! have to? Mum said she'll make me empty the bins if | haven’t stayed at least twenty minutes. They're really smelly. POLLY I’m nota social experiment. BARNY Look, "’IlJust stand here, okay? I won’t say anything, Promise, (She continues reading. A beat.) BARNY I’ve read that book. POLLY You've read ‘Coping with Social Anxiety Disorder’? BARNY My mum bought it me in case | had it. (Beat.) BARNY So you don't have any friends? POLLY How many would you have if you moved to a different part of the country every year? (Beat) POLLY Mum's job. I've got friends on Facebook. BARNY I'm not on Facebook. I'm not allowed a computer. Mum says not before I'm sixteen. POLLY What? No way! That's like... dark ages attitude, How do you do your homework? BARNY (serious) Candlelight, inkwell and parchment, When | finish she passes food down the chute. POLLY Shut up!! (They laugh. He looks at a photo.)46 BARNY Was that your brother? (Polly nods.) BARNY I'm sorry he’s dead. | don’t have one. Or a sister. | imagine it must be like losing 2 best friend. Not that [ have one of those either. (Beat.) BARNY Mum said you go to counselling. POLLY I have to take pills. Anti depressants. They think I'm crazy. BARNY You seem alright to me. (Beat.) POLLY Sometimes | go to this place... A different place... Where I can see my brother. BARNY Oh. POLLY See? Crazy. BARNY My Gran says people go to this place where everything stays the same for ever and ever and ever amen, Then again, she is completely off the rails. {Polly laughs.) BARNY Were you two close? POLLY We fought all the time. (Beat.) BARNY Well... We can either mope about here diagnosing ourselves with social disorders or we could do something more exciting. I've got an idea (Music intro... SONG: LET’S GET LIVING) BARNY LET’S GET LIVING LET’S GET LIVING TAM LIVING AND YOU ARE LIVING TOO SO WHY DON’T WE DISCOVER WHAT LIVING PEOPLE DO? LET'S PUT ON YOUR TRAINERS AND GO TAKE A WALK IT WON'T BE OVERWHELMING AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO TALK TO ME BUT LET'S GET LIVINGa7 POLLY You are so weird. BARNY Come on. Social integration, step one. Basic recreation. (Transition to a playground. Polly turns very slowly on a roundabout pushed by Barny.) POLLY This is thrilling, BARNY | can make it go faster. POLLY I'm going home. BARNY But we haven't gone on the swings! POLLY We're too old for this. BARNY Wait! What are you doing next Tuesday evening? POLLY Why? BARNY Step two. Competitive sports. BARNY VVE THOUGHT OF ANOTHER THING ANOTHER THING TO DO ANOTHER THING I RESEARCHED THAT LIVING PEOPLE DO THIS ONE IS EXCITING THIS ONE"S ROCK AND ROLL VM TOLD THAT PEOPLE OUR AGE LIKE TO GO OUT AND BOWL A BIT NOW THAT IS LIVING (BARNY’S GRAN enters carrying a ball from a Lawn Bowls set. She puts it in Barny’s hand.) GRANNY Right, get your hand firmly under and around that ball. We're looking to finger peg your opponent and get up all over his jack. BARNY Thanks Gran. GRANNY There’s more to bowls than cut grass and stockings you know! (Barny is about to Bowl. Looks at Polly.) . BARNY What? POLLY And we're about sixty years too young for this. You're hopeless. What’s step three? BARNY Err... Tribal gathering.POLLY Right. (To Gran) Excuse me? Is there a cinema nearby? 48 GRANNY Of course, although why they knocked down a perfectly good Bingo hall to build it, Vll never understand POLLY Great. Thank you. (to Barny.) Next Saturday. | pick the movie. You buy the tickets. Deal? (She's already exiting.) BARNY Deal. Thanks Gran. GRANNY Go get ‘em tiger. Bingo. Two little ducks. (She sings as Barny exits.) GRANNY THAT WAS LIVING (She exits as a mass of teenagers enter, swarming around a cinema entrance. Talking, gossiping, laughing, singing...) TEENAGERS — LET’S GET LIVING (LIVY LIVING) LET'S GET LIVING (LIVY LIVING) (Polly and Barny enter. Polly is reading a brochure.) BARNY Why can’t we watch a proper film? POLLY A documentary is a proper film. It’s won awards, BARNY Sod awards. | want action, pow pow! POLLY Get the tickets. BARNY Righto. You want a hotdog? POLLY {'m vegetarian. Those things are disgusting. Probably made of dogs. BARNY Mmmm. Spicy Chihuahua! POLLY Idiot. (He exits, She watches teenagers being teenagers.) TEENAGERS — LET'S GET LIVING (LIVY LIVING) LET'S GET LIVING (LIVY LIVING) LET'S GET LIVING (LIVY LIVING) LET’S GET LIVING (LIVY LIVING)49 POLLY CAN THIS BE LIVING? IS THIS WHAT YOU DO? TO BICKER ABOUT MOVIES AND STAND IN A QUEUE IT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER I WAS LAST ON THE SCENE I CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN? IT'S ALLA BIT SCARY IT'S ALLA BIT MAD BUT MAYBE THIS LIVING THING ISN'T SO BAD AFTER ALL IT IS LIVING (Sarah Sidcup approaches, with Janine and Ellen in tow.) SARAH Oil You POLLY Sorry? SARAH It’s my business to know anyone socially active round here. And | don’t know you. Janine? (lanine holds up her phone to Polly's face.) JANINE Facebook recognition app, scanning for faces, ELLEN Searching, searching... JANINE Shut up Ellen! Ah ha! One ‘Polly Parish’. Saz, it says she’s at St Raph’ SARAH Polly Parish? Why-haven’t we seen you at school then? POLLY None of your business. SARAH Already told you - is my business. (Barny returns carrying two hotdogs and the tickets.) BARNY Got the tickets! They had vegetarian dog meat so I got you one just in case... (he sees the bullies) Hello large, female predators, SARAH Well, looks like Barnaby squirt’s got himself a girlfriend. BARNY She’s not my girlfriend, She's a friend... with... (He indicates breasts) things... POLLY What? (The girls laugh.) SARAH ‘Friend with things’. That is so going on twitter Janine! JANINE On itt50 ELLEN What film you seeing? POLLY It’s a documentary - about the environment. SARAH Sounds rubbish. Everyone from schoo!’s going to see “Vampires versus Zombies’ and Tom Blasco’s gonna feel me up during the trailers. ELLEN He's so fit! SARAH Bite me! (They laugh.) POLLY Sounds thrilling, SARAH It will be. Now, I'm getting the vague impression someone thinks she’s a little too good for us. POLLY | didn’t say that. SARAH You were looking at me funny. POLLY No | wasn’t. SARAH You starting with me? (She’s about to lay into Polly when...) JANINE Saz, reply on twitter. Polly Parish ~ that crazy girl whose brother died at the beginning of last year. SARAH He got hit by the bus! That was in the news and everything. That was your brother? No wonder you didn’t want to see ‘Vampires versus Zombies’. The dead coming back to life and all that. Poor baby. Well, don’t worry. Me and my gals are very discreet, aren't we Janine? JANINE Discretion’s my login name. ELLEN Really? Mine’s Disco Girl ninety-nine. SARAH Ellen! Anyway, you can rely on us to be sensitive, See you in September, Polly Parish. We'll have so much fun together! JANINE & ELLEN So much fun! (They leave.)st BARNY Sarah Sidcup and her Worshipers. She’s not that bad actually, Her heels make so much noise you can hear them way off. She’s in our year I'm afraid. September will be hellish. POLLY Well, what doesn’t kill you makes you... BARNY Stronger. | suppose you're right. It’s not like she’s a murderer or anything. POLLY No, it’s a motto, What doesn’t kill you makes you... BARNY Stronger. It’s Nietzsche isn’t it? POLLY No! It’s something else. | can’t remember. BARNY I’m sure it’s Nietzsche. POLLY (Suddenly furious) No! You don’t know anything. BARNY What? POLLY Get away from me!! Get away from me! (Quick transition into...)52 SCENE 4— CANTEEN (Polly enters a fairly full Canteen, Kate the Dinner Lady is serving the students, paying particular attention to Daniel, her favourite.) KATE Alright love, fancy some lunch? {SONG: BRAIN FOOD) KATE BRAIN FOOD COME ON MY LOVELY GET YOUR BRAIN FOOD YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO IT'S YOUR BRAIN FOOD. IT’s GOOD FOR YOU THE DAILY SPECIAL IS A PLATTER OF DELECTABLE GREY MATTER YOU EAT IT ALL IT MAKE YOU FATTER IT'S GOOD FOR YOU ‘YOU FEELING HUNGRY TRY THE STARTER FRESH MEDULLA OBLONGATA IT’S GUARENTEED TO MAKE YOU SMARTER. IT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND EVERYBODY MAKES A RAMPUS FOR MY CREAM OF HIPPOCAMPUS THEY WANT A SWEET | TELL ‘EM HAVE A SLICE OF CEREBELLUM NOBODY NEED TO PANIC ALL MY INGREDIENTS ARE ORGANIC YOU BUY A KIT YOU TAKE IT HOME AND YOU CAN GROW SOME SALAD OF A THALAMUS AND CORPUS CALLOSUM BRAIN FOOD COME ON MY LOVELY GET YOUR BRAIN FOOD YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO IT’S YOUR BRAIN FOOD. IT’S GOOD FOR YOU KATE Not hungry? I'll save you some leftovers. (Polly ignores her and runs into Wilkes and Leonard.) WILKES Welcome back little Miss Part Time!93 LEONARD Decided to grace us with your presence, have you? POLLY Where's Kester? WILKES Now she wants to make friends! LEONARD Gap must have opened in her schedule, POLLY Look, | know | haven’t been here recently, WILKES Recently? Try weeks! Where do you get to anyway, when you disappear? POLLY | told you. I do extra tuition, LEONARD Are you thick or something? POLLY Just tell me where he is. KATE Your brother's over there. (Kester has appeared) Poor little love, he’s not quite himself these days. Hardly eats anything. POLLY What do you mean? What's happened? (Polly approaches him. His responses are manotone.) POLLY Kester! How’s it going? KESTER How's it going? POLLY Look I’m really sorry. | forgot our motto. KESTER Our motto. POLLY Yeah, you know. Our thing we say on the first day of school. | fee! terrible. What is it? KESTER What is it? POLLY No, I'm asking you, What Is it? KESTER What is it? POLLY Kester! What's wrong with him? KATE He's been going this way for a while. Mr Morton gave him detention the other day because he'd forgotten his reason. Tut tut, forgetting your own reason. POLLY But that’s why I'm here. Kester, | forgot something. KESTER | forgot something, POLLY Kester!54 (Polly shakes him. He rouses himself. It’s unclear if he’s been pretending or not.) KESTER Hey sis. What's up? POLLY What’s happening to you? KESTER What do you mean what's happening? I’m at school. I’m learning things, POLLY You went all weird. You forgot who | was. KESTER Well, I’ve not seen much of you lately. You've hardly been here. You got better places to be? POLLY No. Here is what's important. KESTER So important you forgot our motto? POLLY | know. KESTER One of the few things we agreed on if | remember correctly. POLLY Yeah. (SONG: DO YOU REMEMBER?) KESTER DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE FOUND MUMS RAZOR BLADE? AND YOU MADE ME RUN MY FINGER ALONG THE EDGE TO SEE IF IT WOULD DO ANYTHING? AH WOAH! POLLY | REMEMBER YOU STARTED CRYING AT THE FIRST LITTLE SIGN OF BLOOD KESTER IT DIDN'T EVEN HURT POLLY THEN WHY DID YOU CRY? KESTER 1 DON'T KNOW WHY POLLY WELL | GOT SUCH A BOLLOCKING BOTH AH WOAH DO YOU REMEMBER (REMEMBER | REMEMBER 1) DO YOU REMEMBER (J REMEMBER | REMEMBER 1)POLLY KESTER POLLY KESTER BOTH POLLY KESTER POLLY BOTH 55 DO YOU REMEMBER I REMEMBER | REMEMBER LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WHEN WE THREW BRICKS IN THE AIR? REMEMBER AND YOU DARED ME NOT TO MOVE WE WERE TRYING TO PROVE IF GIRLS WERE BRAVER THAN BOYS ‘AH WOAH OF COURSE EVENTUALLY YOU HAD TO SCORE A HIT AND I SPLIT YOUR HEAD CLEAN OPEN HOW COULD I FORGET THAT SICKENING NOISE A WOAH DO YOU REMEMBER (I REMEMBER | REMEMBER |) DO YOU REMEMBER (I REMEMBER | REMEMBER |) DO YOU REMEMBER | REMEMBER | REIVIEMBER LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY ALL THE TIMES I NEARLY KILLED YOU SCARING YOU TO DEATH BY HALF THAT'S WHAT LED US TO OUR MOTTO WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU LAUGH “CAUSE WHEN YOU CAN LAUGH YOU ARE A LITTLE LESS SCARED YOU FEEL BRAVER LITTLE BIT MORE PREPARED IN LIFE, OR IN DEATH YOU ARE READY TO SURVIVE56 AND IF THROUGH IT ALL YOU CAN KEEP ON SMILING KEEP ON TOP THOUGH IT ALL KEEPS PILING UP YOU KEEP IT BACK YOU STAY ALIVE ALIVE ALIVE POLLY I missed you Kes. I'll come back more often, okay? | got distracted. I'm sorry. This. This is living. (Kester now returns to how he was earlier in the scene. Muted. Monotone.) KESTER DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE FOUND MUM'S RAZOR BLADE POLLY No we've done that one. KESTER DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE THREW BRICKS IN THE AIR POLLY Kester, we've been over this. KESTER WE WERE TRYING TO PROVE IF GIRLS WERE BRAVER THAN BOYS POLLY What's happening to you? KESTER AH WOAH POLLY Kester? KESTER ‘AH WOAH AH WOAH ‘AH WOAH POLLY Kester! (She grabs his hand and pulls him offstage. Transition to another part of the school.)SCENE 5 — OUTSIDE HEAD OFFICE (The CARETAKER has a hold of the scruff of Axel’s neck. The HEAD is present. The Caretaker constantly swills from a bottle during the scene.) AXEL Ahhhh, Let go of mel HEAD Hold him! So, trying to escape over the wall, were we? AXEL You can’t keep me here forever. HEAD Well Axel, actually we can. ‘Forever’ is kind of the point. AXEL | hate you. HEAD So much anger in one so young. You should attend more classes. AXEL "Il never learn anything from you lot. HEAD Perhaps a few months in detention will teach you the value of education. AXEL Months! CARETAKER Are you sure Headmistress? HEAD Do not question my methods. CARETAKER No Ma‘am. HEAD You're on thin ice already with what you said to that Parish girl. CARETAKER The living don’t belong here. AXEL Polly's a living person? HEAD Maybe a few months isn’t long enough. (Polly drags Kester in.) HEAD Polly! How lovely to see yout AXEL You're living! CARETAKER | told you not to come back, dear. POLLY What’s going on? My brother's starting to....fade! Kester say something. KESTER Something. POLLY See? 758 HEAD That is interesting, CARETAKER It’s all in your mind. You're in control of thi AXEL You've found a way out of here! HEAD Both of you be silent. Would you kindly step into my office? POLLY No! I want answers. What's wrong with my brother? HEAD Very well. It all boils down to what is wrong with you Polly Parish. You've been coming and going rather a lot, haven't you? POLLY Yeah, so? HEAD So you can’t forever be in two places. You and your brother arrived here as one. It seems you are bound together. The more time you spend elsewhere, the less of you remains here. CARETAKER Don't listen to her. She’s manipulating you. HEAD There speaks the washed up old drunk who can’t even take care of himself. Polly, | am the Head of this Institution for good reason. Trust me. You are destroying your brother by going home. That is why he is fading. POLLY So... if | spend more time here, then Kester will get better? HEAD |'m afraid it will need a little more commitment on your part. The emergency pass. Give it back to me, Then I think you'll find he'll return to normal POLLY You mean... stay here forever? HEAD Would that be such a bad thing? Life is so random and cruel. in this school, all things make sense. POLLY | don’t know. (Polly takes out the pass and is about to hand it over when...) AXEL Schoo!’s out! Let’s go! (He grabs Polly by the wrist and the three of them leg it off stage.) HEAD Polly, come back. You can't leave! You can’t escape!59 SCENE 6 ~ School Gates. (The word is spreading through the school, Students zigzag across the stage, colliding, exchanging.) STUDENTS PASS THERE’S A PASS THERE’S A PASS PASS THERE'S A PASS QUICK PASS IT ON PASS IT ON THERE’S A PASS PASS OOH GA CHAKKA OOH GA CHAKKA OOH GA CHAKKA OOH GA CHAKKA WEEEEEEEE! (Half the school gather by the School Gates. They wait expectantly as Polly, Kester and Axel arrive. Kester is fading fast.) WILKES There they are. ZOE What's going on? GEORGIE Shhh. LEONARD What's happening? DANIEL Nothing's Happening, as usual. WILKES Shut up Daniel! (Polly halts by the gates) ‘AXEL My, my! Word spreads quickly, don’t it? POLLY What's everyone doing here? AXEL They're waiting for you, aren’t they? EVERYONE Yeah! AXEL Come on Polly. How does the pass work? What happens? Is ita magic carpet? A dragon? WILKES The Hogwarts Express? (Everyone laughs.) AXEL How do you do it? How do you get out of here? ALL Yeah come on Polly/You can do it etc...60 (Kester is nearly unconscious. Polly takes out the pass.) POLLY Look! | don’t know if it'll work for more than one person. AXEL Then try it. You want to help your brother, don’t you? POLLY Yes, but. AXEL And more importantly, it'll make you really popular. ALL Yeah come on Polly/You can do it et (Polly activates the pass. The bus arrives. It doesn’t appear to have a driver.) LEONARD Wicked! AXEL All aboard the bus! POLLY No wait! (Everyone pushes forward. Kester disappears during the scrum.) POLLY Look, you can’t all get on. | don’t know if this is going to work. Kester? Where's kester gone? Kester? (Polly is getting pushed back, jostled. The bus is filling up) WILKES Hey! Where’s the bus driver? LEONARD Dunno. Maybe there isn’t one. AXEL No driver? This is sick! POLLY Stop! Everyone get off now! I've lost my brother! [AXEL Shut the doors! No-one's getting off! We're getting out of here. STUDENTS Yeah! (The engine starts: Music.) AXEL Next stop - Reality-ville! STUDENTS Yeah!! (The bus starts moving. SONG: NOBODY AT THE WHEEL) AXEL RIDING ALONG IN AN AUTOMOBILE WITH NOBODY AT THE WHEEL NO ONE HERE TO TAKE THE FARE61 ‘SEEMS WE HAVEN'T GOT A PRAYER THERE'S NOBODY IN CONTROL TIME FOR US TO GO AWOL, COME ON! NOBODY TOLD ME IT ALL ENDS THIS WAY WHY ME? WHY ME? POLLY This is all in my mind. | can turn this around, (She grabs the steering wheel and wrestles with it, Axel signals Wilkes and Leonard who grab Polly and restrain her.) AXEL Where are you trying to take us Polly? POLLY Back... back to school. AXEL School? The institution of death? We're not going back there! That place is sick in the head! POLLY School's there to educate you. To help you make sense of things. AXEL You can’t make sense out of death. Everything they teach you, it’s pointless, meaningless junk! AXEL WHAT'S THE POINT OF MAKING RULES (RULES RULES RULES) DEATH CAN PLAY US ALL LIKE FOOLS (FOOLS FOOLS FOOLS) JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING FINE (FINE FINE FINE) CLAPS HIS HANDS AND SAYS, YOU'RE MINE! (MINE MINE MINE) NOTHING YOU DO CAN EVER PREVENT (NO NO NO} A RANDOM FREAKING ACCIDENT (ACCIDENT ACCIDENT etc.) COME ON! (Polly “sees”/remembers Kester in the road.) POLLY The Accident? Kester get out of the road! AXEL It’s the same thing forever and ever and ever amen. POLLY Kester! (Polly grabs the wheel again and tries to steer the bus.) STUDENTS NOBODY TOLD US2 IT ALL ENDS THIS WAY WHY ME? POLLY | have to stop this. WHY ME? POLLY [can and | will stop this. WHY ME? (ms Parish enters.) MS PARISH Polly, what are you doing in the road? STUDENTS WHY ME? MS PARISH Polly! POLLY Mum I've got to save Kester! ‘STUDENTS WHY ME? MS PARISH Polly. Move. Now! STUDENTS WHY ME? (POLLY sees the accident happen before her. The bus breaks apart and ail the students are thrown to the floor.) (The scene calms. Polly and Ms Parish are alone by a roadside.) POLLY | couldn’t save him Mum. The bus came but | couldn’t stop it. MS PARISH Darling, it wasn’t your fault. There was no way the bus could stop. He... he shouldn’t have been in the road. It was an accident. No-one’s fault. POLLY How can it be no-ones fault? MS PARISH Polly, | know this must be hard, but you have to try and let go of the other school. It’s not helping you. POLLY | know. But it’s all | have. (Polly sings; SONG: SCARED) POLLY I'M SCARED I'LL FORGET HIM ‘THAT HE'LL FADE AWAY I'M SCARED THAT TOMORROW HE’LL FEEL NOT QUITE AS REALAS HE DOES RIGHT NOW TOME TODAY V'M SCARED THAT WITH TIME HE’LL JUST DISAPPEAR HIS MEMORY WILL DIE WITHOUT A GOODBYE THAT'S WHAT | FEAR MS PARISH IT’S OKAY TO BE SCARED AS MEMORIES START TO FADE BUT WHAT IVE LEARNED FROM MEMORIES IS THAT'S HOW THEY'RE MADE BETTER MEMORIES LEAVE YOU THAN HAUNT YOU FOR TOO LONG (She offers Kester’s chain from the first scene.) WHY NOT TAKE THIS TO HELP MAKE RIGHT TO REMIND YOU TO KEEP THINGS BRIGHT THAT IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT POLLY You didn’t like Kester wearing this. Dad gave it to him MS PARISH | think it’s time for a few things to change. You and | are going to give this place a chance to work out. POLLY Okay. MS PARISH Maybe you should stay home a while longer. Defer another term. Start after Christmas? POLLY No Mum. No more deferring. It'll be fine, I've just got one more thing to do. I feel. 1 feel. (Sings) | FEEL... (Transition back into...) 63SCENE 7 — Head Office. _..The Other School. The school students continue to moan slowly underneath the {following scene. SONG: HEAD OFFICE) STUDENTS, AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH_ (The HEAD enters.) HEAD Congratulations Polly Parish. You've made a fine mess of everything, haven't you? Look what you've done to the school. It’s falling to pieces. POLLY Where’s Kester? I need to say goodbye. HEAD I'll do anything, please just stay here. We can rebuild the school, the way you want it. We must be able to come to an agreement. POLLY No more bargaining. I'm closing this place down. (A growl starts in the group that escalates in intensity and threat under the following speech...) HEAD That won't work. You'll be lost without us. You're a social outcast Polly Parish. You're rotten inside... Don’t you see you're better off dead? POLLY (shouts) Enough! (Polly dismisses the Head with a wave. The music stops abruptly. All the faces turn ‘away and Kester is in the room facing Polly.) (SONG: WHAT MATTERS) KESTER LET’S GET THE ELEPHANT OUT OF THE WAY THE FIRST THING IMPORTANT THING TO SAY IS I'M NOT THERE POLLY YOU'RE NOT THERE ARE YOU MY BROTHER? KESTER VM PART YOUR BROTHER AND PART OF YOU VM SOMETHING YOU'VE STILL LEFT TO DO ARE YOU AWARE? POLLY F/M AWARE BOTH QUESTIONS STILL IN THE MIND65 DEFENSES STILL LEFT BEHIND IF WE DON'T DO THIS NOW AND HERE POLLY V'LL BE STUCK IN THIS PLACE YEAR AFTER YEAR KESTER GO ON POLLY - START SAY WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART. POLLY ‘AM | READY FOR LIFE? ‘THERE 1S SO MUCH TO FACE TRY AS | MAY I STILL FEEL OUT OF PLACE I DON'T BELONG | DON'T KNOW HOW HOW DO YOU DO IT KESTER? HOW DID YOU DO IT KESTER? HOW DO! DOIT KESTER? ALONE KESTER WHAT MATTERS IS KNOWING YOU'RE LIVING AND LIVING IS ALL THAT YOU GET AND YOU'LL NEVER CLOCK WHEN YOU'LL TICK YOUR LAST TOCK YOU NEVER CAN TELL HOW IT’S BEEN SET YES LIFE 1S UNFAIR AND IT’S RANDOM IT WILL NOT PLAY OUT LIKE IT OUGHT WHAT MATTERS IS KNOWING LIFE’S SHORT (The Other School addresses Polly.) AXEL WHAT MATTERS IS FACING YOUR ANGER DANIEL AND DON’T KEEP DENYING WHAT'S REAL CARETAKER TO SIT IN YOUR ROOM +2 boy 2 girl AND WALLOW IN GLOOM WILL NOT HELP YOUR HEART LEARN HOW TO HEAL (LEARN HOW TO HEAL) HEAD AND PEOPLE WILL BARGAIN AND BARTER HEAD THEY'LL TEACH YOU TO THINK LIKE THEY DO + MR MORTON KESTER WHAT MATTERS IS YOU BEING YOU ALL YES LIFE IS PAIN AND LIFE’S INSANE IT BREAKS YOUR HEART AGAIN AND AGAIN66 IT TEARS YOU UP LIKE YOU NEVER KNEW IT COULD POLLY | KNOW THIS I'VE THOUGHT ALL THESE THINGS. ALL BUT NOW AND THEN THERE’S MOMENTS WHEN THE CLOUDS PART THE SUN SHINES IN AND LIFE FEELS LIKE IT SHOULD. LIFE IS GOOD UFE Is GOOD KESTER WHAT MATTERS IS ALL THAT YOU GAVE ME. YOU GAVE ME THE COURAGE TO DARE | COULDN'T BE SO HAPPY OR FREE WITHOUT MY BIG SISTER ALL NEAR ME KESTER WITHOUT YOU THERE ALL YOU WERE THERE KESTER LL ALWAYS BE HERE IN YOUR HEART SIS AND THAT MEANS I'LL NEVER BE GONE WHAT MATTERS IS NOW YOU MOVE ON POLLY ’M READY POLLY VM READY PEELE lite ok | POLLY \’'M READY ALL MOVE ON i (Transition into...)o7 SCENE 9 — Bus stop, first day of school. (Polly, wearing Kester’s chain, stands at a bus stop. All around STUDENTS are hanging out, waiting - The first day of term. MUSIC ~ ‘BORING - REPRISE’. Barny enters.) BARNY Polly! You forgot something! POLLY What? (He produces some sandwiches.) BARNY Your sandwiches. Your Mum practically chased me down the street with these! POLLY Right. Sorry. BARNY And she said, “Tell my dopey daughter to remember to get that form signed so her Dad can start picking her up from schoo! next week.” I think that was it. POLLY Thanks. BARNY You alright? POLLY Yeah, first days, you know? BARNY They suck, officially. Still, could be worse. (Noise of girls approaching) Uh-oh, just got worse. (They duck out of the way as Sarah Sidcup, Ellen and Janine storm in.) SARAH The bus isn’t even here yet. Now my mascara’s all smudgy! ELLEN Nice one Janine! JANINE | don’t understand it, According to my app it should be right there! SARAH You two are totes useless. Don’t know why I bother. (She spies Barny.) SARAH Barnaby. Come here! BARNY Please Sarah, it’s the first day of term. SARAH That means you owe me lunch money. BARNY | paid you! SARAH At last year’s rate. Hello? Inflation! Do you want us to tell the whole school you still wet the bed?68 (Polly steps in.) POLLY Hello. SARAH Oh! It’s environ ‘mental’ Polly Parish. You still crying about your dead brother? How about a quote for twitter? “I'm terrified of scary movies.” “I can’t even watch Casualty.” (to Janine and Ellen) Oil It’s funny. Uanine and Ellen laugh tentatively.) POLLY You really want to know what happened? it’s not as exciting as Vampires versus Zombies. SARAH Sure. Let's have it. POLLY (Deep breath) Okay. The bus hit Kester doing about twenty-five miles an hour. It knocked him about three feet in the air and ten feet forward. The impact broke his collar bone and smashed his scapula. That's his shoulder blade. SARAH Right. POLLY What killed him though, was the road itself. The concrete fractured his skull and his brain was forced against the bony ridges of the inside of the skull. Massive internal bruising, lacerations. Death almost instantaneous. That's what happened. (Beat.) POLLY You might have to give it a tweak. It’s a bit over a hundred and forty characters. (Noise of bus arriving.) BARNY And here’s the bus. SARAH i'm gonna be sick. (She exits.) JANINE She’s gonna be so mad at us. ELLEN I'm not sitting anywhere near her. BARNY Look. | didn’t wet the bed, okay? | spilt a glass of water on my pyjamas during the French trip. That was it, JANINE (To Polly) Where did you learn all that? POLLY Coroner's report. 've found it helps to talk about stuff like that. Sorry if | freaked you out.69 ELLEN It’s alright. When my cat got hit by my Dad’s car, we had to take her to the vet in two cardboard boxes. JANINE Ellen! Get on the bus. We'll sit at the front for a change. You're alright Polly Parish. See you around (They exit.) BARNY ‘You're alright Polly Parish’. | think we might have just got ourselves a social upgrade. POLLY What do you mean ‘we’? BARNY Well... mean... you and I we're... well we're not... You KNOW... Buta. POLLY Come on ‘Friend with a thing’, let’s get to school. BARNY Man. Am | ever going to live that down? (They head off for the bus. MUSIC: WHAT MATTERS REPRISE. Kester appears and sings.) KESTER ‘CAUSE LIFE MAKES PECULIAR PATTERNS THE RIPPLES WE LEAVE WHEN WE'RE GONE WHAT MATTERS IS HOW WE MOVE ON (END OF ACT TWO)MUSICAL SYNOPSIS ACT ONE Overture — Band Boring — Polly, Kester, School Students |. How I Got to School ~ Other School Students, Mr Morton |. If It Were There... - Daniel, Orber School Students ft 2. 3 4 5, Emotional Education ~ The Head 6. Bedside ~ Ms Parish 7. It’s Fine Fine Life (When you're Dead) ~ Other School Students 8, It’s Okay to Be You— Kester, Polly 9, Head and Heast ~The Caretaker 10. Funeral - Ensemble 11. Am I Ready? ~ Pally ACT TWO 12. Mr Morton's Interesting Facts About Death — Mr Morton, Other School Students 13. My Fault - Ms Parish 14, Let's Get Living ~ Barny, Barny’s Gran, Polly, Ensemble 15. Brain Food — Kate the Dinner Lady 16. Do You Remember? ~ Kester, Polly 17. No Body at the Wheel ~ Axel, Ms Parish, Other School Students 18. Scared — Polly, Ms Parish 19. Head Office ~ Polly, Other School Characters 20. What Matters — Kester, Polly, Other School Characters 24, What Matters (reprise) - KesterLibretto Vocal 2. Boring (Polly, Kester, Kids) Music & Lyrics: Dougal Irvine Jena Altost x Sops S$ _ Fellow conductor Rh you Kes tr (Kae tee Myon ae ta) Kan tar TL yoo es ~ we Al lazy, swung +s. ¢=80_ VAMP a 4 6 i rian } want (0 Il your roth= er? Are you'an gry at your mother as you move {0 yet an oth ertown? Mum's Job keeps chang-ing, lives are re~arrang-ing yet 2 ~ gain it reall-y gets me ‘downLibretto Vocal don't make new friends eas-i- ly, Tm rej ~ ected by ev-er-y clique Wr ~ aot them? Ts it me? Is It nor-mal to be fesl~ing like T am a numb-er ‘one freak? She's a. freak! it just some phase? Docs it get better than thie ‘Cause itso ring and the wheels on the bus go Life te mech a bore ont tbe where on the ts a Bane all beste UB ie meh be rd the whee on the toLibretto Vocal 3 round and oman wound mad roend and und and rand My sis-ters kind 'a messed up look at the way she's dressed up, ‘ell in’ all the would to get Tost ‘Mum and Dad get a div orce well it happ ens but of course its the thet kids who reall y hear the east 1 try not to care.try to keep the heav y stulf off my back Right Unie now I'm more con-cemed with my bod-y on the turn, ease hear that pub er ties whack! Tm uS.4 Libretto Vocal thirteen years old J should be runn-ing the world Cause Ws so boring and the wheels on the bus go utée so pred tet a Me {Be wed on the tas gp Lies op pet es Be Pik a hoe ee ud em a sod the wheds on the bor eo teond aad wound and ound apd cd and Marg Sel yw ta or ing and the wheels on the bus log shen heeds oo = ing and tbe whose on the bas Be fog when eres 9 be aLibretto Vocal 3 and round pond and round ead toon ram and sand « vaMP DoT reall-y have a prob-lem and will this thingshow me? Could I sur 50 Polly Kester vive without my_ Brother? HS the only one who rall=y knows men | | 52. all Twann-a, dois leave allthis he = hind The (ys cut rom origina! Loudon production) sway =a doe dene live Safety - vocal last time Ii 4 [D “__# 7 Do you rem em ber when we found Mum's ra-zor blade mois a Do you rem-em~ ber when we threw bricks in the air. ‘We were try ing to prove if girls were brav er than boys Ab Wo ahi ‘Ab Wo abLibretto VocalLibretto Vocal 17. No body at the Wheel (Axel, Ms Parish, Kids) saseeaes 7 ‘Musie/Lyries: Dougal Irvine Al d ug 4 An attack, freely... Rid ing a long in an aut-o mo - bile With n0 bo dy at the — wheel No one here to take the fare Seems we have n't got a prayer! There's no bod-y— in eon - trol No = Flip voices? ‘ime for us to goA - Wot Come on! bo - dy told me it all ends Tike: this. Why me? ZA ees Why me? Why me? 34 Vamp -stop whenever Axel sings aud goto bar 37!Libretto Vocal sal comes 33 whenever |B What’ the point of mak ing rules Death can play us all like Rules rales rules rules Just when you think you're do- ing fine Fools fools fools fools fine fine fine fine Claps his hands and says you're — mi ot ing you do can, e- ver pre Rand om freaky acc = i = dent No no no n0 Ace ident Ace - it dent Ace - ident Ace - i- det Acc -i dent Ace -i-demt Acc i dent Ave - i~Libretto Vocal 3 si Vamp ie dent Accident Acc-i - No - bo - dy told us it all ends like [17 SEBEBRESESSsSBEES OBBBERSRSGRSEEBONGISEAGEESEE, 05) co (DI ‘i Why me? Why me? i ae Why me? Pall Polly, what are you doing in the road? Mum I've got to save Kestes"| ‘Why me? Why me? | Why me?18. Scared (Polly, Ms Parish) Libretto Vocal Musie & Lyries: Dougal Irvine Cee a= Tun seared I'll for get him ‘that helll fade a~ way —— a3 T'm seared that to- morr ow helll feel not quite as real ashe does. right now. 13. 3 ra tome. to~ day Tim scared that with time ‘he'll just dis app- car 19 3 3S Paseo His mem ory will die with out a good-bye that's what 1 fear 24 |Al ‘Ms Parish It's 0 - kay to be seared as mem ories start to fade— But what T've learned from mem ories is, that's howthey are made ett er mem ories leave-you than haunt you for too____long_. Why not 32 to help anake right To Te~ mind you to 35 ‘Vamp bars a keep thinge bright_ ‘cause i's not your fault. 44 SAFETY SEGUELibretto Vocal 19. Head Office (Polly, Other School Characters) Music & Lyrics: Dougal Irvine J=n02 Libretto Vocal 17 SAFETY [B) cere SEE EEE 2]. SAFETY-go on any beat20. What Matters Kester, Polly, The Other School Libretto Vocal Music & Lyrics: Dougal Irvine 4 105 Kester: Freely Let's got the ele phant out of the way, the first im por tant thing to say. is..— 4 | Polly Youre not there are you my — bro thot? 7 patt your brother and part of you I'm some thing you've still feft to do are you 9 poco rall.. Tm a - wore. Ques tions sill in dhe fences stil left be~ hind Ques tions stil in the — mind de = fences still le be ~ hind. if VS.2 Libretto Vocal B Recitative we don't do this now and here we don't do this now and here TM be stuck in this place, year af = ter say whats in your Am I rea-dy__ for life? ‘There is 50 much. to face? Try as Fo may, stil feel out of place 1 dont be-long—__ don't know how How do you do-it Kes ter? How did you doit Kes. ter? 28. Kester: How do T do it Kes tex? A = tone.0 Libretto Vocal 3 4 31 [B] Slower eS aa et matters is know ing you're liv~ ing and fiv-ing is all. that you got And youll ne ver clock when you'll tick your last tock You ney er can tell how it's been set Yes lie is un fe and it's rand-om_ it will not play out like it ought What matt-ers___is know ing life's What matt ers is fac-ing your an-ger Tacake] To sit in your room and wal-lew in gloom will Wilkes: Doctor don't keep de ~ ny ~ ing what's real Yo sit in your room and wal-low in gloom — with W'S4 Libretto Vocal And peo ple will bar gain and bar ter They'll not help your heart leam how to. Team how to heal aot help your heart leam how to heal. What matters is. you be ing teach you to think like they do. Yes life is pain_ and life's in sane it breaks your heart. a gain and a gain, it ‘Yes life is pain_ and life's in sane it. browks your heart a gain and a gain, itLibretto Vocal 5 5B Polly: T know this Te thought all these things (ears you up—— Tike you ne~ ver knew tears you up. like you ne~ ver knew it could but now and thea there's mom enfs when the clouds par the sun shines in and now and then thermos mom ents when the clouds part__ the’ sum shines in and life. is good life feels, Tike it_should Life is good Tite. a Kester: What matt ers is all that you gave me You gave me the cour age to dare I could n't beso happ-y or fiee with out my big_ Sister with out you tae rt ‘Near me You were thee VS: |6 Libretto Vocal 68 | always be here in your heat sis’ And hat ncans TH ne ver be gone 7 E matt-ers___ is now you move move on move 4 all. drit. Libretto Vocal 15Kester 21. What Matters (reprise) (Kester) Music & Lyrics: Dougal Irvine "Cause life makes per-cu -li- ar patt ems the rippl-es we leave when we're gone___ What matt-ers____ is how we move onLibretto Vocal J = 126 Sung es 3. 22. Bows Full Company ‘Music & Lyries: Dougal Irvine 2 HIGTS Tempo 4-110 a [Polly & Kester! How I got to school How 1 got How 1 got_ to RalltoHIGTStempot ral. 2 | | | (Split Polly Kester How got _t school How Random fate de-ci ~ ded Random fate de-ei ~ ded school I gotto school” — How I got to school Here we are for-e- to school How = got_ tp school © How 1 gat to school it wast faix__and it wasn't cool How [got ta___schoot vs.Libretto Vocal got 10 sehool How [got to school it east fair and it wasnt coal — How 1 got to school it wasn't fate and It was-n'teool How 1 got to school Here we.are_for.e ~ ver How I got to school Fate is.-some-thing we can't rule How I got to school Here wearefor-e = ver. How I got to school Fate is.some thing we can't rale How 1 got tm sehool __ How 1 got to school. — How 1 got to___ schoolLibretto Vocal 23. Playout Full Company ‘Music & Lyrics: Dougal Irvine HIGTS Tempo J=110 [Split - Polly Kester Polly & Kester] How I got to school Random. fite_ deci ~ ded How I got to schoal How 1 got 10 school How 1 got ta schoo! Here we. are forse ver Random fate_“de=ci = ded it How "1 got to school 8 wasnt fai and it wasn't cool ato ic come. thing wo cart w— school Wwasco't fhir_and it was-n't cool “How I got to school Haro we.are_for.e ~ wor How I got to school it How T got to school it wasnt fir_and it was-n't cool. How T got to school Here weare_fore - verLibretto Vocal How 1 ‘got to school Fate is_some“thing we can't rule How I got to school Rate is_some thing we_ cant pule_ How L___got__ to schoo How T_ got ta school — How T_ got to school. How 1 got to___ school