Shell Do What She Has to to Get What She Wants

www.girlschase.com /content/she-ll-do-what-she-has-get-what-she-wants

Girls: pretty darn good at getting what they want from men.
Apologies if this is a little rough-written. I havent slept in 36 hours (save a pair of 30-minute cat naps) and just
spent 24 of those hours in a hospital emergency ward (not for myself; the injured partys going to be fine we
think). Theres a story there, though not sure if I want to share it. Suffice it to say 24 hours in an emergency ward
surrounded by people in dire conditions with loved ones wailing over terrible tragedies is not something you want
to experience if you have the chance to avoid it.
If youre waiting to hear back from me via email, please be patient; Im back over at the hospital again tonight,
and if Im not too tired after 60 hours of no-sleep I will get back to you within the next day. Anyway, weve got a
website to run here, and the show must go on, so... on with the article.
Ive had a few articles on female psychology Ive been meaning to get up. This is one of them.
One of the strangest things you will notice when men talk about women is that men fall into roughly four different
camps on how they think of the opposite sex:
1. The white knight camp: Women are all saints and angels and must be protected from horrible men!
2. The doesnt care camp: I dont really know what womens deal is, but so long as Ive got one to cook me
dinner and give me a blow job I dont worry about it.
3. The bitter guy camp: Women are all evil, scheming, manipulative succubae whose sole purpose in life is
to cause men misery!
4. The ladies man camp: Women are cute, silly beings who can be fickle and changeable, but theyre a
whole heck of a lot of fun.

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The first guy is living in La-La Land, of course. Hes the white knight who dreams of trading his valor and loyalty
in for an often ill-defined sexual payday. And the second guy just doesnt know, and doesnt care to spend the
brain cells trying to know.
But what can we say about the third and fourth guys? Guy #3 looks at Guy #4 and mistakes him for Guy #1. Or
he thinks he must have it good with women and has never seen their true nature. Guy #4 looks at Guy #3 and
says theres a guy who just doesnt know how to push the right buttons with girls.
But is one of these guys wrong? Both men are drawing from often extensive experience reinforcing their views.
Guy #4 gets laid plenty, has wonderful girlfriends who devote themselves to him, and overall has a great time
with girls. Guy #3 gets ignored by women, taken advantage of by them, and screwed over in his relationships.
So what gives? Is Guy #3 just a crummier judge of character than Guy #4 is? Hes choosing the wrong women?
Or maybe hes just worse at meeting girls and running relationships?
While those things are generally true (i.e., guys with negative thoughts about women tend to harbor these
thoughts because they arent good at getting what they want with girls), theres more to the puzzle.
The more in question is this: a girls going to do what she has to do to get what she wants from you . The
difference between Guy #3 and Guy #4 is that Guy #4 makes sure women do things he wants to get what they
want from him. Guy #3 has no such standard.

Men Can be Tamed; Women Cannot Be

Heres one of the most important realizations you perhaps can have about how men vs. women function:
Men are tamable. Women arent.
I suspect it has something to do with biochemistry. Men are driven by their testosterone levels. Take a mans
testosterone away, and he submits. His bite goes away. He forgets how to be a man. Lots of men in developed
societies have this problem to some degree or other; a lot of what you learn on the road to becoming more
sexually successful is basically how to rewild yourself. Learning to do well with girls is about learning to stop
being so tame.
Women, on the other hand, are wild, wooly, savage creatures. Theyre all feral, even the ones who dress like
ladies. Testosterone isnt much of a factor for most women. A woman can submit without losing her power. When
a man submits, he takes a testosterone hit, loses face socially, and loses power. When a woman submits, its
just another way for her to get what she wants.
But whether its brain chemistry or its psychology or some mix of the two or something else entirely, the point
remains: you cannot truly tame a woman.
I actually used to think you could. I eventually learned though that even when a woman is tame, shes only that
way so long as she thinks this best serves her interests. As soon as it feels like the ships headed the wrong way,
that tameness gets chucked overboard without so much as a life vest.

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Enjoy it, but dont assume its there forever.

Quite different from men who, once tamed, can watch jobs, women, or anyone else dismantle their lives for them
piece by piece, yet sit there and do their darnedest to rationalize it away. They said an opening for promotion
wont open up for 10 more years, he tells himself, but Im sure theyre doing the best they can for me. I know
she hasnt been around much, but of course she isnt having an affair; shes my girl, I should trust her. Etc.
This difference is crucial to understand, because it informs two of the pillars this article rests on:
When a woman acts tamed, its just another way to get what she wants, and
Men who are tamed have a whole lotta trouble for themselves trying to deal with girls

Women are Winners

One way or another, shes going to get what she wants.
If she wants something with you, shes going to do whatever works to get it.
And that will only be what you want if youve done a proper job aligning her incentives to match your desired
outcome.
Are you a man who gives women strong, masculine leadership, clear direction and a mission she can believe in,
and hard, orgasmic sex? Youll find women devote themselves to you. They use devotion and submission as
their relationship strategy with you, because its the most efficient way for them to get what they want.
Are you a man who fails to lead, has and provides no clear direction or mission, and gives only mediocre (if that)
sex? Youll find women challenge you continually to wrest power from you in the relationship. Thats because
they are not getting what they want, and figure perhaps if theyre in charge of things they might do a better job.
Even when girls submit to you, youll notice they challenge you and cause drama any time you begin to neglect

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them too much or dont meet their physical or emotional needs. Submission only lasts so long as the submission
serves her interests.
It is just another way for her to get what she wants.
Same deal with how girls behave with a man on the pick up.
If a girl acts lusty and cute with you, its because shes already gauged you to be a man with strong
fundamentals, strong game, and clear interest in her. Youre an attractive man, who is attainable, and who
seems interested in her, and so she does things to signal she is ready to receive you (i.e., she uses a lot more
soft, girlish behavior).
If any of these are missing though, she challenges you to step it up. If youre talking to her but your game or
fundamentals arent all there, shell test you. Thats the equivalent of her saying, Not buying it; what else you
got? If you arent attainable enough, shell start auto-rejecting you, flirting with other men in front of you, or
insulting you. All these are ways to challenge you to step it up with her. If you truly arent interested in her, you
wont care if she does these things. If you are interested in her, they will wake you up and plunge you into action
which is exactly her intention in doing them.
Women are winners, often in way less sexually experienced men find hard to relate to. We live (or most of the
readers of this site do, anyway) in wealthy, urbanized societies. Wealthy urbanized societies work overtime to
tame their men. You cant have a bunch of manly high testosterone men running about in crowded metropolises
or else its chaos. So you use social control to dampen their testosterone and take the edge off. You end up with
the Modern Domesticated Man.
Woman cant be tamed. And in fact, wealthy urban societies unshackle their women in ways equivalent to
impoverished hunter-gatherer societies (it is the middle societies the agricultural/pastoral ones that place the
most restrictions on their women; why is beyond the scope of this article, but basically seems to come down to
these societies need to control their women more simply to survive).
You end up with a unique situation in wealthy urban societies you see in no other type of society: constrained
men and unconstrained women.
You have a bunch of women who are looking for wins, and a bunch of men who are looking just to get by.
Women who want to rock the boat to get what they want, and men who get skittish when the boat starts rocking.
And when these domesticated men meet these free women, all they have left is to retreat to bitterness, to work
to reframe the social dialogue... or to turn themselves into free men, too.

Men are Active; Women are Reactive

This is the natural state of things. You do things, she reacts to what you do.
Men whom societys tamed stop being actors. If youre more on the tamed side right now, you can likely
remember a time in your youth when you did what you wanted and said what you wanted and acted with force
upon the world. At some point however, whether due to family pressure or pressure at school or some mix of
both, you gradually let forces outside yourself tame you.
There are men who make it through school wilder and less tamed than others. And not all mens families are
equal; some work hard to tame them, while others encourage them to be free. The men whove been tamed
have a harder time of things, because first they have to break out of domestication, and then they have to learn
how to be free in a socially effective way. Men whove been free their whole lives have learned how to get what
they want with social panache. Men who havent have to go through that asshole phase first.

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Get used to this face a lot while you work out the kinks of asshole-dom.
Tamed men stop acting. They cease to grasp for social initiative and dont make waves socially. They dont go for
what they want. They adopt a reactive role, just like women. This forces women around them to either adopt the
masculine active role themselves, or to just ignore these guys and wait for more energetic men. Much of the
bitterness you see in sexually inexperienced men comes down to this:
Women are reactive
Tamed men are reactive
Untamed men are active
Women can sit back and wait for untamed men to court them
Tamed men can sit back and wait, but there is no one who will take action to get them
Thus the bitterness of the tamed man: he does everything society told him he was supposed to do, and the social
rewards go to the bad boy who doesnt listen.
For the tamed man, the social contract really has been violated. Hes socialized to behave in a way directly
contradictory toward his wants in life. This isnt done for his interests, but for societys: unlike a hunter-gatherer
society, where men die young or split off to form new groups, or an agricultural society, where every man is an
island unto himself with land, children, and wife, in an urban society you have a densely packed beehive of men
and women. Some of those men will be leaders. But they cant all be leaders. Most of the rest need to submit, to
teachers, bosses, and alpha males. It is simply a reality of industrial life.
This submission, though; this taming... This becoming reactive of men.
Its not attractive to women.
In fact, it makes a man invisible to them.

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The Reactive, Invisible Man

What does a woman want?
Well, she wants things like:
A man with a mission she can believe in
A man who can inspire her with strength and confidence
A man who gives her hard sex and great orgasms
A man who does not submit or let himself be tamed
Tests aim to find out how tamable a man is. Lots of men seem to think women want to tame their partners. What
drama, fights, and tests do, though, is they aim to stress test the guy and make sure he is not tamable. That hes
remained strong.
She could be nice and not test guys, of course. But then shed have no way of knowing if everyone else in a
guys life was forcing him to submit, and she was buying a lemon. A test is a way for her to evaluate how hell
hold up not just to her, but to everything.
I should stress too that there are men who are terrific in relationships but awful at meeting new girls. Ive known
guys (often men with technology backgrounds) who didnt know how to meet girls at all and took very little
initiative to meet girls, but once they had a girl in a relationship, she was theirs. And Ive known guys who were
fantastic at piling up new lays and girlfriends, but they couldnt keep a girl on to save their lives.
However, for the most part, if a man is a reactive man, he is an invisible man, because reactiveness tells a
woman a man cannot provide her what she wants.
Does a man with a clear mission become reactive? No. His mission is his priority; girls are a nice-to-have. But
he wont put up with nonsense from a woman in the hope of landing some poon, and women can tell this with
him immediately just by the way he reacts to their invitations and tests. The man with a mission will take action in
all directions: hell approach a girl he wants to meet, hell challenge or bat away behavior from her he doesnt
like, hell pull her home if he sees the chance to, and hell cut her off if she wastes his time.
Does a strong, confident man become reactive? No, same deal as the man with a mission.
Does the sexually competent man become reactive? He may, but he usually wont. Most men who know how to
please women in the sack tend to become pretty darn confident about themselves and the value they provide to
girls. They may even adopt a mission of pleasing as many women as they can.
How about men who dont submit or become tamed? Obviously these guys arent reactive.
Im sure youve had this happen: you start to talk to a girl and things are going swell. Then, at some point, she
tests, and you slip up. You get reactive. What happens after? Its like you become invisible to her.
Why? Youve just shown her you cannot give her what she wants. Can a man who reacts to a woman those
silly, cute creatures possibly be counted on to have a clear mission, a solid character, a talent in bed, and an
untamable nature?
A woman will do what she has to to get what she wants.
With some men, thats submit to them.
With other men, thats challenge them.
And with still more men, thats ignore them or leave them... To go find another man better able to give her what
she craves.

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Weakness Brings Out Predatory Instincts

Sometimes readers complain about our insistence that you be responsible in your interactions with girls and you
do not hurt them. Women are the hurtful ones, they say. Men are the victims.
The truth is whoevers in power can be hurtful. There may be women who hold power over you. They might hurt
you. And there may be women you hold power over. You may hurt them.
Women are generally not as responsible with power as men are. Theyre more likely to hurt a man than a man is
a woman. Whether its socialization, biology, or what, I dont know, but generally speaking you just dont want
your nuts on the chopping board when a womans holding a cleaver (probably dont want them there when a
mans holding one either, but a mans more likely to be sympathetic, all things considered).
Therefore, you do see this tendency for men who show weakness to get rolled on by women, even women who
previous adored and respected them. We sacrifice to the strong; we prey on the weak. Women more so than
most; women deify strong men more than other men do, and they despise weak men more than other men do.

Totally didnt show that side of herself at the arts and crafts class you met her at.
This behavior is, again, in service of a woman getting what she wants.
What she wants is the untamed man allowing her into his stable. She wants him to claim her as his girl. She
wont get that by treating him poorly, because he has options, and she knows this. She desires his sexual and
romantic resources.
What she wants with the tamed man (if she wants anything at all) is his financial, status, or other social (not
sexual) resources... And often she wants them along with him kept far enough away that she may court stronger
men with more attractive sexual resources. e.g., the cheating girlfriend; the friend with benefits who isnt
interested in an LTR with you no matter what a swell guy you are to her; the wife who used to be happy but now
spends all her time insulting you and hanging out at the gym with her muscled-up personal trainer. Most of the

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time women behave this way, its because a mans weaknesses have triggered those predatory instincts in her
(the same predatory instincts you feel kick in when you see, say, a cute girl who just broke up with her boyfriend
and she is just so sad).

The Canary in Your Coal Mine

If youve struggled with understanding women, heres one more helpful perspective: as canary in the coal mine
of your masculinity.
If women dont respect you, submit to you, and give you what you want yet, that means youve got work to do on
who you are as a man.
It doesnt mean youre hopeless. It doesnt mean women will walk all over you forever.
It does mean you have some correctible defects in your masculinity.
Women are just the messengers. Theyre simply the most sensitive parties out there to sniffing out and exposing
these defects. And they give you the most undeniable feedback on said defects. That doesnt mean others in
your life wont take advantage of any defects you have; jobs, bad friends, social movements, and all manner of
other entities will use your defects to get what they want from you.
Women, instead, will usually just leave. Theyll ignore you, reject you, or refuse to see you again if they detect a
defect. For all the women are lying manipulators stuff you see on the Internet, at least in the immediate
feedback about a mans manliness level department, women are the most honest parties around. They tell you
exactly how they feel about you when you fail to measure up. Everyone else plays pretend with you (Yeah, sure,
youre totally a candidate for that promotion! Just keep working hard at your current position and youll end up
where youre meant to end up, I promise).
The exceptions on the women are cut and dry rule are if:
1. Your defects arent that big. We all have defects; no guys perfect. Women arent looking for perfect. If
they were, the human race wouldnt have a population of 7 billion, because I guarantee you there arent 2
or 3 billion perfect men to produce all those offspring. If youre more of a question mark, shell hang
around, but still give you a tough time of it.
2. You start strong, then weaken. Sometimes men are strong when single, but grow weak in relationships.
Or they can even start a courtship off strong, then peter out (e.g., strong opener and follow-up game...
weak date game / close game). Often men blame the woman for not being nice in these scenarios. And
women can help drive a mans submission forward in both courtships and relationships. But what women
are really doing is stress-testing you. Its like slamming on the brakes every so often to make sure the
brakes still work. That might wear the brake pads a bit more, but if theyre good brake pads it isnt going
to do much damage. When this is the case you get the combative, gradual courtship/relationship declines,
where things start off good but then fall apart.
Remember:
She will do what she has to to get what she wants from you. If that means treating you well, she will treat
you well. If that means treating you poorly, she will treat you poorly. This is another variation of operant
conditioning: people will only treat you as well as you make them
Men are tamable; women are not. If youve let society tame you, youre going to have a lot more bumps
along the way with girls, because they cant be tamed. Tame men + feral women = a lot of very frustrated
women and a lot of very sad men.
Men are active; women are reactive. If you adopt a feminine reactive persona yourself, there are very few

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active women who will court you. Women dont need to; there are plenty of active men who will court
reactive women. Theres no motivation for a woman to become active; she doesnt need it to get dates.
The only women who become active daters are the high sex drive / high testosterone ones. To every
woman except those types, reactive men are invisible.
Weakness brings out predatory instincts. Women are winners. Whatever situation theyre in, theyll find a
way to get a win out of it. If that means they get an untamed mans romantic and sexual attentions,
wonderful. If that means they get a tamed mans financial resources or social status points, theyll take
that too. Most women will not willingly enter into courtships or relationships with tamed men, but if men
show that they are tamed throughout the course of the courtship or the relationship, this causes a
womans agenda to shift from get his romantic/sexual resources to get something else from him to
compensate for this time Ive spent on him.
Women are the canary in the coalmine. Theyre the messenger. Dont shoot them. They just show you
where your weaknesses are. Even if there were no women, men would gladly continue to exploit your
weaknesses, they just wouldnt tell you they were doing it. At least women are usually obvious about it:
they ignore you, show disdain for you, disrespect to you, disgust at you. All these are signs theres a
problem, which you can then fix. Once that problem is fixed with women for you, its usually going to be
fixed with all your other non-romantic dealings too, which makes you a more effective man.

Women will show you what about you needs tweaking if you can take the criticism.
We covered a lot in this one, but I tried to keep it as tight as possible and not get too tangential. I hope its been
interesting, and encouraging not discouraging.
Every guy is tamed to some extent. No man is truly untamed, except perhaps some of the super villains you see
in comic book movies. Every other man is operating under some degree of constraint. So what were really
talking about here is degree and calibration.
The degree to which you have rewilded yourself. And the calibration to hit just the right amount of wild that you
are untamed enough to be exciting to girls, but not so untamed women are frightened of you and the police come
to get you.

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The calibrated untamed man is sexy to women for all the right reasons... Not least of which is that a woman is
going to do whatever she has to do to get what she wants. And with the untamed man, what she wants is him, for
himself, and what she has to do to get it is behave in a girly, sexy, feminine way she gets to go for something
she wants at a primal level, and gets to behave as the consummate woman to get it. This makes the man who
knows his way with girls immensely satisfying to be with, because she doesnt have to do anything weird, tricky,
or special with him (well, aside from her tests to make sure he isnt fake-untamed). She can just be a girl, and let
him be a man, and trust hell take all the action necessary to make what she wants occur.
Chase

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