n 1978 I did my first tour of Europe as "stunt" guitarist and singer for Frank Zappa's band.

The night we played

in Cologne, Germany unbeknownst to me Brian Eno was in the audience. Brian knew David Bowie was looking
for a new guitarist for his upcoming tour. He called David after seeing our show and told David he should come
see the guitarist for Frank's band.
The next night we performed in Berlin. There was a part of the show where Frank took an extended guitar solo
and most of the band members, including myself, left the stage for a few minutes. As I walked to the back of
the stage I looked over at the monitor mixing board and saw David Bowie and Iggy Pop standing there.
Wow! I couldn't believe it!
So I walked over to David Bowie, shook his hand and said, "I love what you've done, thank you for all the
music". And he said, "Great, how would you like to be in my band?" I motioned back towards Frank and said,
"Well, I'm kind of playing with that guy." David laughed and said, "Yes, I know, but when Frank's tour ends my
tour starts two weeks later. Shall we talk about it over dinner?"
David said he would meet me back at our hotel and sure enough when I arrived back at the hotel David Bowie
and his assistant Coco Schwab were sitting on a couch in the lobby. As I walked past them they whispered to
me, "Get into the elevator, go up to your room, come back down in a few minutes, and meet us outside. we
have a car waiting."
It was like something out of a spy film.
When I came back down and went outside there was a black limousine waiting. The driver opened the door
and I got in the back with David and Coco. David immediately launched into all this plans for his upcoming tour,
the songs we would play, the staging, and so on, and how much he loved my guitar playing! It was so exciting!
He said they were taking me to one of his favorite restaurants in Berlin.
How many restaurants are there in Berlin? 25,000?
We arrived at the restaurant, went in the front door, and who should be sitting at the very first table but Frank
Zappa and the rest of the band! So the three of us sat down with Frank and the band. David, trying to be
cordial, motioned to me and said, "Quite a guitar player you have here Frank."
And Frank said, "F you Captain Tom."
(note: Frank had demoted David from Major Tom to Captain Tom.)
David persisted, "Oh come on now Frank, surely we can be gentleman about this?"
Frank said, "F you Captain Tom."
By this point I was paralyzed. David said, "So you really have nothing to say?" Frank said. "F you Captain
Tom."
David and Coco and I got up and went back out the front door. Getting in the limo David said in his wonderfully
British way, "I thought that went rather nicely!"

By definition a postscript is never as engaging as the story itself. I hope you're not expecting
too much, but here's the conclusion:
It was February in Europe which meant it was icy cold outside, but for me it was even more icy
inside. When you're touring, especially in a professional band of hired musicians, you tend to

"partner up" with someone; one person you hang out with the most.
Frank was the person I hung out with. I often sat next to him as we traveled on planes and
buses, I joined him at breakfast, etc. I had stayed at Frank's house many weekends during our
3-month rehearsal schedule and I felt we had some sort of friendship beyond
employer/employee.
Of course he was entitled now to be distant to me. He had plucked me out of obscurity, taught
me so many things, and shined a bright light on me. Frank was my mentor and he was not an
asshole to me, not ever! He was generous, funny as heck, brilliant, and informative. A genius. I
had the time of my life around him. It was never part of my plan to leave Frank's tutelage
forever.
We still had two weeks of touring left. Frank had already informed me of his intentions after the
tour ended. He said he was going to rent a giant film editing machine and spend three or four
months editing our live concert footage into a film called "Baby Snakes". He explained I would
be kept on a retainer which meant I would be paid to do nothing but wait for Frank's next
project. I received a call from my manager. Now it was official: I was being offered a 4-month
tour with David Bowie. (In reality it turned into more than a year).
Later that day we were on a bus to an airport. I decided to break the ice. I walked to the very
last row in the bus where Frank was sitting. I told him about David's offer. I reminded him of his
plan to edit his film and pay me a retainer and asked him if it didn't make more sense for me to
join David's tour for 4 months instead. I told him I would gladly return after the tour. Frank
reached out and we shook hands.
That evening, February 26th, we played a concert in Brussels, Belgium. One of Frank's songs
we did was "Yo Mama". But for that show Frank substituted the words "Your David". So this is
what he sang:
"Maybe you should stay with your David,
He can do your laundry and cook for you,
Maybe you should stay with your David,
You're really kind of stupid and ugly too".
Two nights later the tour ended in London at the Hammersmith Odeon. There was an onstage
occurrence which angered Frank. Fortunately I had nothing to do with it. Frank cut the show
short and stormed off. The next day most of the band members flew back to L.A. where they all
lived. I was told later that Frank fired the band on that flight home.
I got on a plane to Dallas for two weeks rehearsal with David Bowie.