Chapter Three ListeningListening at Work ‘The Importance of Listening Assumptions about Listening Barriers to Effective Listening Environmental Barriers Physiological Barriers Psychological Barriers Listening Styles Relational Listening Analytical Listening Task:-Orlented Listening Critical Listening Listening More Effectively Listening to Understand Listening to Evaluate ® Listening at Work “Told hee we were mesting ths Tuesday, not next Tuesday. Now we have to reschedule the ‘meeting, and we may not make the deadline.” “He said he was listening, but he didn’t give me ‘a minute to tale before he started intereupting, That's the lase time I'll ery to present a herter way to do anything around here!” “Something went wrong down the line, I wamed those people to watch che temperature carefully, but they don’t listen, Now # whole batch is spoiled. What does it take to gee them to understand Situetions like these are disturbingly common in busi- ness. They show how frequent listening failures are and how eostly they can be. You may not be able to make others listen better, but you can boost your own ability to listen carefully to the scores of important messages you are likely to hear every day. As you will lear in the following pages, listen- ing effectively is hard work. Ie involves far more than, After reading this chapter you should be able to: 1. Describe how effective listening can contribute to your career success, and how false assump- bout listening could impede your career 2. Identify three major barrces to listening effect ively, and outline strategies for overcorning baxter. each Analyze your listening style(@, and explain how you might use this knowledge to understand others berces 4, Apply the six guidelines for listening to under- stand and be able to eteate appropriate pars- phrasing responses in given situations; apply guidelines with regard to evidence and appeals ‘when listening to evaluate 5, Evaluate various listening approaches you could use in a specific scuation and describe the best approach to'accomplish your goals and enhance your career relastonships with others, sieting passively and absorbing other? words, It occurs far more frequently than speaking, reading, or weiting and is just as demanding and imporrant. The Importance of Listening Tp his best-selling book, Stephen Covey identifies listening—understanding others’ messages before mak ing one’s own understood—as one of the “seven habits of highly effecrive people.” Former Chrysler chairman Lee Tacocca endatsed this belief You have to beable to listen well iFyou're going ‘to motivate the people who work for you. Right there, char’ che dif ‘re company end a great company, The most ulling ding for me as a manager isto watch ence berween a medio someone che system has labeled as just average or mediocre really come into his own, all because someone has listened to is problems and helped him solve chem,Pare Two Personal Skill SALES PER SALES PER speaker of the US. Hace Sf 160,000 worps 10g.000 woRps eee eee peoo Dara presentatives, echoed that sen timent about the value of paying attention when describing how he spent most of his time: “They call me the Speaker, bue they ought to call me the Listener”? Research backs up these claims, In numerous studies, listening proves to be the most important communication skill throughout one’ career in terms of job and career success, productv. ity, upward mobility, and organiza Gore tional effectiveness. Listening is valuable even before your career gets started, Job-hunters can respond best in . employment interviews by keeping their eats open.? Once you have found a neve job, listening can help you learn the ropes. Career consultant Andrea Sutclife puts it this way: “IE you had to choose one incerper. sonal skill co work on in your first year on the job, pic listening, Ie will be the single most important tool you will have for getting along and getting ahead." Listening remains imporcant throughout your eareet. When 1,000 executives were asked to lise the ideal manager's skills, listening ranked number one.” Another study asked business executives what skills were mose importane on the job. Listening was mentioned more than any other skill or talent, including technical competence, computer know- ledge, administrative talent, and crestivcy.® Along with promoting individual succes, effective listening is vital to organizations. Ie can improve quality, boost productivity, and save money. Poor listening can have the opposite effect. As one consultant pat it © Tal GoltThe New Yorker Cillason/wwncaconbaakeo, ‘With more than 100 million workers inchs cousty simple $10 listening mistake by cach of them, a a result of poo listening, would add up toa cost ofa billion della And most people make numerous lening mistakes every Weck Because of listening mistakes, eters have eo be rewritten, appointments resched- ‘led, shipment rerouted. Productivity is affsred and profits suff? Assumptions about Listening ‘When it comes to communication, most people pay more attention to sending messages than to receiving them. This imbalance comes from several mistaken assumptions, Faulty Assumption 1: Effective Communication Is the Sender's Responsibility | Management expert Peter Drucker recognized that communication dlepends on the receiver as well asthe sender when he wrote, “Ic isthe recipient who com. ‘municates, The so-called communicator, the person who emits the communication, does ‘not communicate, He utters. Unless there is someone who heats... .thete is only noise.”"" As Drucker suggests, even the most thoughtful, well-expressed idea is wasted if the intended receiver fails to listen, Both che speaker and the listener share the burden of responsibility in reaching an understandingow he call she to these dics, skal ns of red. ping pes per Careless Listening Leads to Ridicule On the fist day of her social studies cass, York Universi student Sarah Grunfeld was outraged when sheheard Professor Cameron Johnston say chat “All Jews should be steed.” Grunfeld immediately reported hnt account ofthe lecture toa campus advocacy group, accused Johnston of being a bigot, and called for him tobe Bred. Within a fow hous, the story went veal and case STUDY belief that “all Jews should be sterilized” is an exam- ple of an unacceptable and dangerous opinion. So when ic was publicized that Professor Johnston (who is Jewish) did not make an anti-Semitic statement in class, ic was Grunfeld who came under attack. She was publicly ridiculed by bloggers and mainscream media for her poor listening skill, hait-trigger reaction, and unwillingness to accept even partial responsibilty for Johnston came under immediate pressure and scrutiny, the misunderstanding ‘Theuniversity’sinvestigation found that Grunfeld wis mised an important point in Johnston's commenc— Sauer Sensaly, &. Gt. Seen ‘one understood clearly by several hundred other from kup. wneathestrcom/acwsla students in the class, Johnston had explained that the... forced-o-dfend-hirselSagaintace-semiay Faulty Assumption 2: Listening Is Passive Some communicators mis takenly assume that listening is basically « passive activity in which the receiver is a sponge, quietly absorbing the speaker's thoughts, In fact, good listening is hard work, Sometimes you have to speak while listening —ro ask questions or paraphrase the sender's ideas, making sure you have understood them. Ten when they remain silent, good listeners are far from passive. Famous attorney Louis Nizer desciibed how he would often emerge dripping wich sweat from a day in court spent mostly listening. Sperry executive Del Kennedy, commenting on his compa- nys well-known listening tsining program, says, “Most people dont know how exhaust- ing listening can be.""! A good listener is an active communicator Faulty Assumption 3: Talking Has More Advantages | Ac first glance, it seems that speakers consrol conversations while listeners ate the followers. The people who do the talking ate che ones who capture everyone's atention, so it’s exsy to under- stand how talking can be viewed as the pathway co success "Talking instead of listening can lead professionals to miss important information, One analysis of physician-patient interviews revealed that che more doctors talked, the more chey got off track and failed co address concerns raised by the patients” Despite che value of talking, savvy businesspeople understand tha listening is equally important. Consider th advice of communication consultant Bill Acheson: “For every minute ‘salesperson spends listening, he or she will save four minutes overcoming objections”? ‘Communication expert Susan Peterson reinforces the value of superior listening sills 1 times, whether i’ with e-mail, yoice mail or Internet, we ate concentrat- 1 of rclling, not listening, Yer good listening, in my opinion, is 80 ro 90 ppereent of being a good manager and an effective leader... Listening is one of che ‘ese ways to keep high touch in your organteasion. In your day-to-day meetings with customers, clients, or employees, if you liten—rellylscen with fll eye contact and 2 the commnanication kingdom! attention—you can own the ke Faulty Assumption 4: Listening Is a Natural Ability | Listening may scem like a natural ability—like breathing, “After all,” you might say, “I've been listening since Iwas a child.” We could all say the same thing aboue talking; but even though almost everyone does it this doesn’t mean most people do it well. lana, Toon Sur RetieedETHICAL ch Golden and Platinum Rules The Golden Rule cells us to treat others the way we would like to be treated, and the Platinum Rule is to treat others the way they would like to be treated. ‘The best way to honor the Platinum Rul Isto listen 0 others, discovering what chey want, Oh the ocher Evidence sugges hand, realises acknowledge ic is impossible to give equal atention to every message and sill accomplish the multicude of tasks that occupy every workday. How can you, as a busy worker, respond to non essential messages without alenating the people wha 4 deliver them? 4 at most people overestimate their ability co listen well In one suudy, a group of managers rated theie listening skills Astonishingly, not one of them describe, imself or herself as a “poor” or “very poor” listener, while 94 percent rated themselves ss “good!” or “very good.” The favorable self ratings conrasted shatply with the perceptions of the managers’ subordinates, any of whom said their bosses’ listening skills were weal! Most organizations, including major corporations such as 3M, AT&T. General Blecttic, and Dun and Bradstre ct have invested in developing their employees listening skis." Xerox Corporations program for improving listening has been ised by more thas 1.5 million employees in 71,000 companies, and Sperry Corporation invested more than $4 million to advertise its message: “We know how imporcane iti to listen.” In addition, Sperty set up listening seminars for its 87,000 employees to make its advertising cam. paign more than a string of empry slogans. © Barriers to Effective Listening Despite the importance of understanding others, research suggests that msunderstand- {ings are the rule rather than the exception. Conversational partners typically achieve no more than 25 co 50 percent accuracy in interpreting each other’s remarks” Research shows that immediately after 10-minute presentation, a normal listener can recall only 50 percent of the information presented. Afcer 48 hours, the recall level drops to 25 Percent." As you read in Chapter 1, thiee kinds of “noise” get in the way of receiving “This requires both ears.” © Wm afi The New Yorker Clin rmcaaonbaskcom, 62 tmesage:covironmental, physiolgi, and psychological Environmental Barriers The racket on a factory floor of the conver- sational buzz in a crowded room can make i hard to hear and process messages, Noval environmental bartiers are about sound. An ‘overheated office or uncomfortable chairs ean also make listening difficult, Ironically, some environmental distractions come from the very tools we use to communicate. Incoming Phone calls, cext messages, and e-mails can distract us from focusing on a conversational parcnee. You cant liminate_all environmental barsies, but you can often manage them Suggest moving your conversation to a qui exer location, “Eliminate distractions andChapters Ustening 8 annoyances (“That perfume at the table next «o us is getting to me. Can we move”). FARE impossible to give Ghoose more reliable communication channels (“Let me call you back on a landline.) Beeld sill accomplish rely | Physiological Barriers idspond to non, Bie people who. ui For some people, poor listening results from actual hearing deficiencies. Once recognized, they can usually be treated. Other heating problems, such as earaches and headaches, are temporary. Whether the problem is short-term or permanent, the effects can be prob- Jematie, Hearing isnt the only physiological barrier to listening, Processing difficulties such as auditory discrimination, sequencing, or memory can create the appearance of not tistening or paying attention when the real problem is physiological ‘Another physiological challenge comes from the difference between the relatively slow rate of most speech and the besa’ ability to process messages more quielly. Listeners tan process information at a tate of about 500 words per minute, while most speakers tall a around 125 words per minute. This difference leaves us wich a great deal of mental spare time. While is possible to use this time to explore the speaker's ideas, its easy to Jet your mind wander: Psychological Barriers Some of the most pervasive and daunting barriers to effective listening are psychological ‘These are the issues that interfere with people's willingness to listen as well as their mental capacity for effective listening, Preoccupation Business and personal concerns can make it difficult to keep your mind on the subject at hand. Even when your current conversation is important, other unfinished business can divert your attention: the call oan angry customer, the ques- tions your boss asked about your schedule delays, the new supplier you heard about and want 0 interview, and the problems you have with the babysitter or the auto mechanic Figure 3.1 illustrates several ways in which preoccupation’ can cause listeners to lose focus on understanding a speaker Biisiving Ben Message Overload In a world of smartphones, laptops, and other devices, “mul- : ticommunicating” is a challenge previous generations never faced.!? Tr’s hard to listen carefully when people keep dropping in to give you quick messages; a coworker has just =. 7 So. a Line of communication Une ofeommanicaton tan privateargument oa aes.CuLTURE at work _ Gender Differences in Listening Popular magazines are fond of asking, “Who listens bee ter, men of women?” This question isn helpful a ask ing “In what ways do men and women listen difienty? For one, women and men tend to use and inter- pret “listening noises’—vocalizations such as “uh. huh” and “hmmm” —differently.”? Women may use them to signal attention; men, to signal agreement, Thus, a woman who says “uh-huh” may mean, “?'m listening,” while a mian hearing this utterance would think she agrees. Once communicators are aware of differences like these, they can clarify the meaning of ambiguous vocal cues: "You seem interested in the hhanded you cost estimates on a new: to let you know you have incomin with a de uge of information 8 Hu calls, mal, ext mess is lke juggling—you can keep only a few things going at 7 Many students pride themselves in ther ability ro muliase neurological evidence, people simply idea I'm presenting, Do you agree that we should started on ie” Other research shows men and women may hear different pacts of a message because they listen for dif ferent purposes. They suggest women are more likely to listen for the feelings behind a speaker's words while men tend to listen for the facts" For example, at a commistee meeting, a colleague Is asked to redo a report. He says, “Sure.” After the meeting, a female colleague may comment on how upset the person was and his reluctance to redo the report. Sho “heard” the feclings, A male colleague may respond, “What's the problem? He said he'd do it.” product line; and your smartphone continuously beeps and appointments. Coping but according co aren’e very good at doing muleiple tasks at the same an brains waste lag time cach time we switch gears. That means we are muich more effective and efficient when we complete one task at a time—and pay attention to fone message at a time Jocentrism One common reson fr listing poody is the belief—usualy mistaken — B that your own ideas are more important or valuable than those of others. Besides prevent ing you from learning useful new infirmation, this egocentric atitude is likely to allenate the very people with whom you need to work, Self-cencered listeners are rated lower on social attractiveness than communicators open to others’ ideas. * As an old saying puts it, Nobody ever listened themselves out of 2 job. Ethnocentrism Cultural ignorance or prejudices can create psychological noise that inerferes with understanding ochers. Consider aceents, some ssoume accented speakers are less intelligent and less able wo unde More subtle attitudes ean shape For example, Affican Americans and Euro-Americans tend to value speaking over listen, ing and talk over silenc Westerners often fee! uncomfortable with ‘want to fil them in with speech. By contrast, Native America Asians regard silence as an important part of communication, communicators mistakenly id spoken words.” Petceptions of proper and improper ways of listening Jong silences and s and Japanese and other ” Tes easy to imagine how a Westerner, uncomfortable with an Asian's silence, would fil in a conversational gap that seemed perfectly normal to a Korean ot Navajo. In the same way, an Asian who wants to communicate successfully with a Euro-American would need to spend more time vocalizing.d get ‘hear rdif- likely ords, nple, redo "the de cps ping gat uch Chapter 3 Ustening Fear of Appearing Ignorant Some businesspeople think asking for clarification isa sign of ignorance, Rather than seek clarification, they pretend to understand—often with unfortunate consequences, In truth, a sincere desire to seek clarification can pay ividends, as management guru Tom Peters explains; My first boss... is one of the smartest people I know. He was smart enough and com ortable enough with himsel€ to ask really elementary (some would say dumb) questions. sumed that since we were being paid an exorbitane The rest of us were scared sill; we fe, we shouldn't ask dumb questions, But the rexule was we'd lose 90 percent of the aid to display ous ignoran strategic value ofthe Inerview because we were Mostly, isthe “dumb,” elementary question, followed up by a dozen more elementary questions, that yield the pay dirt.”® Listening Styles Not everyone listens the same way. Research has identified that people have a general listening style, ora particular motivation for listening. You can identify your own prefer ences by completing the Self-Assessment on p. 67. Each style has its own advantages, so after you identify your preferred style, try to develop skills in the listening styles that dontt ‘come natutally to you. An effective listener isa flexible listener Relational Listening People who are primarily focused on relational listening are most concerned with emo- tionally connecting with others. They listen to understand how others feel, ate aware of their emotions, and are highly responsive to those individuals, Relational listeners are usually nonjudgmental about what others have to say. They are more interested in under standing and supporting people than in evaluating them A key strength of this listening style is thac the people getting “listened to” are more satisfied with relationships and life, So when relational listener attends to a subordinate ‘or even a peer at wor, there can be a positive benefit. Research also has shown that the listener also gers benefits from listening, But there are also drawbacks, I is easy to become overly involved with others’ feelings, and even to internalize and adope them, In an effort to be congenial and supportive, relational listeners may lose theit ability to assess the quality of information others are giving, Thhey also risk being perceived as overly expres- sive and even intrusive by speakers who donit want to connect on a personal level Analytical Listening People who are most interested in analytical listening are con- cetned about attending to che fll message before coming to judg ment, They want to hear details and analyze an issue from a varery of perspectives. More chan just enjoying complex information, these listeners have a tendency to engage in systematic thinking, Analytical listeners can be a big help when the goal isto chor oughly assess the quality of ideas, and when there is value in look: ing at issues from a wide range of perspectives. They are especially valuable when the issues at hand are complicated. On the other hand, their thorough approach can be time consuming, Tt may cake them a long time to come to a conclusion, So when a dead- line is approaching, they may not respond as quickly as desired. 65PartTwo Personal Skills Task-Oriented Listening People who are inclined to task-oriented listening are most interested in getting che job done. Bfficiency is cheit biggest concern; they expect speakers to get their poine across quickly and to stay on topic, Not surprisingly, task-oriented listeners are often impatient, In a fast-paced business environment, ask-oriented listeners can help keep things functioning efficiently. On the other hand, their impatience can sometimes strain rela tionships because task-oriented listeners are generally not good at responding empathed. cally and have a tendency toward verbal aggressiveness. Also, an excessive focus on time can hamper the kind of thoughtful deliberation that some jobs require. Critical Listening People engaged in critical listening have a strong desire to evaluate messages. ‘They may ‘or may not apply the tools of analytical listening, buc in either case, they go beyond try- ing to understand che topic at hand and ty to asses its quality. Not surprisingly, critical liscenets tend to focus on the accuracy and consistency of a message. Critical listening can be especially helpful when the goal is to investigate a problem, as ina police interview or an accounting audit. However, people who are critical listenecs can also frustrate others who may think thar they nit-pic everything others say e Listening More Effectively Social scientists have identified two levels of listening—mindless and mindful? Mindless listening occurs when we react to others’ messages automaticaly and routinely, without much mental investment, The term mindless sounds negative, but sometimes this sore of low-level processing can be useful because it fees us to foexs our minds on messages thac require our careful atention,”” The challenge, of course, is to pay enough attention to decide which messages need more careful attention. By conerast, mindful listening involves giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive, You might imagine the value of mindful listening is so obvious it hardly needs mentioning. But business and professional communicators recognize that thoughtful listening is dfficule and needs cultivating, At General Mills, for example, employees at all levels—including more chan 80 vice presidents and directors—have voluntarily signed up for mindfulness programs ranging from a half-day to seven weeks." One impostant step toward mindful listening is to be clear about your goal ina given sinsation, Are you listening to understand the other person, of listening crtieally to eu ‘ate the message? Once youve answered this fundamental question, the following tips can help you do 2 good job. Listening to Understand Most of us would claim we always aim to understand what othets are saying, but a liele introspection will show we'te often focused on other tasks: mentally (or overtly) arguing with the speaker, daydreaming, thinking about other tasks, and so on. Following the advice here can boost your accuracy in listening mindfully to the message Withhold Judgment _ in hisstudy ofhighly effective people, Stephen Covey said it best: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”* It is often difficult to try to understand another person's ideas before judging him or her, especially when you hold strong opinions on the matter under discussion, For example, you might ask for aested in getting the job WAP is ze often impatient. PRM: can help keep chings Beisometimes strain rela- Research has revealed that everyone has default styles of listening. To discover your listening tendencies, fill in the survey below. Use 1 as “strongly disagree” and 7 as “serongly agree.” The section(s) where you indicated the strongest agreement (5, 6, 0:7) suggests your typical listening style(s) Relational Listening ‘When listening to others, its important to understand the feelings ofthe | sa Levees jot ccinicumenaanaumans TTI iohevieainitieniais corer | wenn tocemrenteetmmais BNE SY mmeneeenaeinenmmeees eS igen con eenbtemencemate EN A aia tl te ica inbamanindsa (US--¥ 6 9 rete dp rte Laces ee ccna amniamcei cians ore Se candmmaaremie TITIES Soueiesediiee ee RES? To be ato others fly stent what they have to ey before making | Judgments. 1234567 | ‘Task-Oriented Listening i a ae imine tnieie EEE ES ieee eater angle se fanesere | | prefer speakers who quickly get to the point. 12345 | ind I ficult to listen to people who take too long to get theirideasacross, 1 2 3 4 When listening to others, | appreciate speakers who give brief to-the-point presentations 1234567 Critieal Listening When listening to others, I focus on any inconsistencles and/or errors in what i boeing said, 12345 7 loften catch errors in other speakers'loglc. 12345 7 tend to naturally notice errors in what speakers say, 1234567 Ihave a talent for catching inconsistencies in what speakers say. 1234567TECHNOLOGY tip Listening to Voice Mail Hearing problems aren’t just an nicators with physical impairments. background noise often makes ic difficult to hear and understand messages—especially those played back con tinny speakers in most telephones. A variety of products overcome the limitations of trying to discern voice mail messages by transctibing the caller’ spoken words into text that can be viewed on the display of smartphone or computer. Besides saving you the time sue for commu The racket of to check for calls in a noisy environment, do it unob- trusively, and have a text record of what callers sad, "Transcription apps aren’e foolproof. They don't capnure the vocal qualities that can affect the meaning of a message, and they often bungle specific words. So when in doubs, i's smare to listen to the voice mail version of a message before jumping to conclusions, You can read about these services by typing the words “convert voice mail to text” into your favorite Intemet search engine. Many of the companies pro- viding voice-to-text service offer fre trials it takes co replay voice mail, these services allow you customer's reaction to your company’s product or service and then spend your mental energy judging the answer instead of trying to understand it. (‘Doesn't this guy have anything better to do than make petty complaints?” “Yeah, sure, he'd like us to deliver on a tighter schedule, but he'd seream his head off if we billed him for the overtime.") Or you might find yourself judging the ideas of a boss, coworker, or subordinate before he ot she has finished explaining chem. (“Uh-oh, I hope this doesn’t mean I have to spend a weck in the field, trying to get market information.” “These college kids come in and want to take over right away.”) Listen first. Make sure you understand. ‘Then evaluate Talk and Interrupt Less Sometimes the bese approach to listening is to stay out of the way and encourage the other person to talk. One matketing expert explained how, ceven in selling, silence can be more effective than talking: The 20/80 rule is a standard in small-business principles, Twenty ese nt oF your business. Here's a vasaton ofthe hen mesing with prospect time and elk the oxhet 20 percent. Your job io listen acentively and determine what your prospec sequite. Befote they are prepared to lento yout pitch, they want to tell you what theyre looking for? of your cus tomers account for 80 per ene ustomers for the Ast time, listen 80 percent of che If you are normally a talkative person, consider rationing your comments when trying to listen, Imagine you have only a finite number of words available so that you speak only when it is absolutely necessary. You may be surprised at how the quality of your conversations and your level of understanding improve Ask Questions Sincere questions are genuine requests for information.‘ be a terrific way to gather facts and details, clarify meanings, and encourage a speaker to caborate. Former University of Kentucky basketball coach Rick Pitino leaened the importance of asking questions after he lost a key recruit by trying to sell ehe virtues of his program instead of listening co what concerned his prospect. Later, when he courted another potential star (Tony Delk), he used a more effective approach ‘This time, instead of trurnpesing Kentucky's vieeues, he asked questions: what Dell wanted from a coach, what the family wanted for their son in college. For an hout; he just asked questions and nodded a lor, listening to thelr answerscre STESEEESOEE SEES eTEECoEECTaTernaeriTeriTeTiT see enEE Chapters Listening 6 _— Not only di Pitino ger Dell, but four years Inter, Dell helped lead Kentucky to its sixth national it unob- ‘championship and Pitino’s frst. “That's one of my | xs said favorites,” Pitino says. “Tha’s one I Ike to tll busi= ey don’e ness groups heause ius how important ii co meaning listen to people. | on So ‘While sincere, focused questions can be a powerful | ioe mall tool, counterfeit questions are really disguised forms a of advice or subile traps: “Have you ever considered ene offering more money to get experienced people?” or | fiworite “Why haven't you told me about this?” Comnterioe spre questions like these can pollute a communication cli 4 zmate just as quickly as any direct attack.?® a Paraphrase Paraphrasing involves restating a You haven't been listening. | keep telling you that | speaker's ideas in your own words to make sure you don't want a product ft fot Kio? have understood them correctly and to show the other 6-7 Gre Now Yat Cleaners conn rn person that fact, Paraphrasing is often preceded by | Bia phases such as, “Let me make sure I understand what you'te saying...” or “In other pee words, you'te saying, ...” When you are paraphrasing, i is important no? to become ine?) & parrot, repeating the speaker's statements word for word. Understanding comes from, eee translacing the speaker's thoughts inco your own language and thea playing them back ress 10 ensure their accuracy. After paraphrasing, itis important that you invite the speaker arr to veri your paraphrase so you know if you accurately understood him or het or to an lerfi your paraphrase and cleat up what you have misunderstood : The following conversations illustrate the difference between ellective and ineffective paraphrasing: E Ineffective Print Supervisor: I'm having wouble geting the paper to sun that job, Thats why I'm behind schedule. | i Plane Manager I see. You can't get the paper to nun the job, so you're running behind schedule. E Prine Supervi Yeah. Thae’s what I said ‘After chis exchange, the plant manager sil doesn't havea clear idea of the problem— Bien sry the print supervisor curt gec the papes, ot what he means when he says he cut got ou | it Effective paraphrasing, however, could help ge co the root of the problem: “ } Effective / ] Print Supervisor: I’m having scouble getting the paper to run that job. That's | of I why 'm running behind schedule. | ‘a f Plant Manager: In other words, your paper supplict hasn't shipped the paper { j you need for cis jo. } . Print Supervisor: No, they shipped it, but i's full of faws, ) Plant Manager: So the whole shipment iad? | i} Print Supervisor: No, only about a third of i. But I've got to ger the whole batch replaced, or the dye lots won’e match—the paper won't | t be exactly the same color,PartTwo Personal Skis Plant Manager: No problem—the colors can be a lite off. But I have to have at least half of that order by Tuesdays the rest can wait a couple of weeks. Gan you print on the good paper you have now, then do the rest when the new paper Print Supervisor: Sur. ‘At first glance, questioning and paraphrasing may seem identical, but a closet look roveals they are different tools. Questions seek nevi, additional informacion (‘How far behind are we?” “When did ie begin?”), whereas paraphrasing claifics what a speaker has said. This is an important difference. There are three types of paraphrasing. Although each of them reflects the speakers message, each focuses on a differene part of that statement. Paraphrasing content The example above illustrates this most basic kind of paraphras- ing, which plays back che receivers understanding of che explicit message. Its easy to think you understand another person only to find later that you were wrong. At its most basic level, paraphrasing is a kind of safety check that can highlight and clatily misunder standings. People who practice paraphrasing are astonished ro find out how many times a speaker will correct or add information co a message that had seemed perfectly clear Paraphrasing intent Besides helping you understand what others are saying, paraphras: ing can help you learn why they have spoken up. Imagine that, a a staff meeting, che boss announces, “Nest week, we'll tar using chs display board to show whea wee out of the office and where we've gone.” Its easy to imagine two quite different reasons for setting up this procedure: (1) to help keep customers and colleagues informed about where each person isand when he or she will rerucn, or 2) to keep track of employees because the boss suspects some are slacking off on company time. Paraphrasing intent can help you understand what people mean when they make statements that can be interpreted in moze than one wy. Paraphrasing feeling Cfien, the speaker’ clings are the most important par ofa mes sage. Despite this fact, most people don't express—or even recognize—their emotions. Ask yourself which emotions might be contained in these statements “That's the third time he canceled sin appointment on me—who does he thinks he is?” "Whenever a deadline comes, I ge excuses instead of results—this can't go on much longer.”od paper look ow far cer has phras- asy to s most inder- lear pha © boss of the ng up spects whe Chapter3 Listening One minute she says we have to spend money to make money, and the next tninute she talks about cutting costs—I can’t figure out what she really wants.” In cach example there are at least wo or three possible emotions: Anger, hut, and self-doubt. Anger, frustration, and worry. Anger and confusion. Paraphrasing the apparent emotion can give the speaker a chance to agtee with or contradict your interpretation: “Yeah, I guess it did hurt my feelings,” or “I'm more wor- tied than mad.” In either case, this sore of response can help the other person to clarify how he or she is feeling and to deal with the emotions. ‘Attend to Nonverbal Cues Focusing on a speaker's nonverbal cues may tell you tore that his or her words. Watch for che “iceberg tps” chat let you know if the speaker might say more, especially if encouraged to do so."” Chapter 4 explains in detail the wealth of nonverbal cues chat are always available to you: gestures, postures, vocal tones, facial expression, and more Nonverbal cts can be especially useful in figuring out another person's feelings and attitudes. You can get a sense of how emotions are communicated nonverbally by imagin- ing all the different messages that might be conveyed by the following statements. Flow many different ways can you imagine each could be expressed? What different meaning might each set of nonverbal cues convey? “No, nothing's the matter.” “We should get together one of these days.” “L would like co tal with you in my office.” “Nobody's ever had that idea before.” Besides attending o others’ nonverbal cues, i also useful to pay attention to your own. To understand why, visualize how a conversational partner would react depending on how you behaved in a discusséon, What signals would you be sending if you leaned back in your , what messages would you be sending ly nodded or uttered “mm hen”? You ly will create a stronger impression, ‘chai, gazed around the room, or yawned? By conte if you sat forward, kepe eye contact, and occasiona may say you‘ listening, buc how you behave nonverba Take Notes When the conversation involves details or ideas you need to remember, notes can be essential. Note-taking can also signal to speakers that you care enough t0 write down what they're saying. It can even cause speakers to consider their words more carefully, And ifa question ever arises about the details ofa conversation, you can say with confidence “Let me check my notes. Listening to Evaluate Once you are sure you understand a mess evaluations are based on two levels of anal you are ready to evaluate its quality, Most st evidence and emotion. Analyze the Speaker's Evidence As a good critical listener, you need 10 ask yourself several questions about the evidence a speaker gives to support his or her stae- ‘ments, What evidence does the order fulfillment manager give that the current computer system is causing problems or that a new one will be better? Does a sales representative back up the claim that a produce will pay for itself in less than a year? nCAREER tip _ Use a Telephone Log E-mail provides a virtually auromatic record of your cot- respondence, but telephone conversations ate ephem- cna. Keeping a simple written log ean help you maintain your records, prevent false claims, and reestablish con- tacts. For example, a log can remind you ofthe name of the agent you spoke to, the date and time ofan appoint ‘ment you've se up, oF the model number of a product searching. Weeks later it may be important to tell a client, coworker, or supervisor of all the attempts (succesful and unsuecessfl) you made to contact them, You can also tely on your notes to remind others about information and commitments chey have made, such as a reservation, promised delivery date, or a price quote: “The job won be ready until November 15? But last Friday, Rose in your office promised me ic would be done by the first of the month.” A log can even remind people about what they didnt say of do, For example, you might respond to a complaint that you havertt kepe a customer informed by explaining, “Actually Ive phoned three times before today: On April4, 11, and 18. Fach time your voice mail picked up, and IleFe a message telling you the job was ready.” For most purposes, a phone log doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it should usually include the following © Daté and time the call was placed Subject of the cal Phone number called Whether this call is a part of a series (ie, a follow-up or response to an earlier call) Unsuccessful attempss to contact (busy signal, no answer, malfunctioning voice mail) Massages left on voice mail or with another person, ‘® Name of person you spoke with Key poines you and the other person made ‘Once you've identified the evidence, you need to make sure itis valid. The success of the flexible-hours program instituted in the New York office doesn't mean the same program will work as well in the factory in West Virginia, where a certain number of people have to be operating the machinery at an The two or three employees tunkappy with the new office furniture might be the exceptions rather than the majority, while the one or two satisfied customers you hear about could be the only happy oncs. Carefully researched statistics that look at more than a fev isolated cases are a much stronger form of proof than a few random examples. "The following questions can help you to examine the overall validity of supporting maserial: Is the evidence given true? Are enough cases cited? Are the cited cases representative of the whole being considered? ‘Are there any exceptions to the points the speaker is making? Do these exceptions need to be considered? Examine Emotional Appeals Sometimes emo- tional reactions ae a valid bass for action, The sympathy wwe fel for underprivileged children is a good reason for donating money to their welfare. The desire to cut down ‘on your own fatigue may be a good reason ¢o hire an "mm not convinced that's the best strategy. ‘Then again, | wasn listening.” aed by pion of MarTler Noble nlaining, lay: On | picked ready.” "have ide the fies a pal, no person ber of loves sory, proof Chapters Ustening B Jn some cases, though, emotional appeals can obscure important logical considerations shat might dissunde you from accepting a proposal. We can sce this by thinking about fond raisers who seek money for underprivileged children. Your sympathy might not justify allowing fund-raiser co wander around your building soliciting funds from employees: Your Employees could resent being asked to give money to jour fvorite cause rather than one SF thelr, especialy if chey have just been asked co donate to another cause. The particular Sueney asking for your donation mighe not be the best vehicle for helping underprivileged GFildrea: Ie may have excessive overhead so that much of your contribution never reaches, ‘ny children, or other organizations might serve needier people. MASTER the chapter review points @ Listening is the most frequent communication activity at work. Listening effectively helps the organization and also helps you achieve your personal goals. ‘@ A number of fauley assumptions about listening, ‘aan impede effective understanding. © Environmental, physiological, and psychological barviers (preoccupation, overload, egocentrism, cchnocentrism, and fear of appeating ignorant) incerfere with effective listening @ Knowing and understanding the characteris- tics of your default listening style (relational, key terms analytical listening 65 counterfeit question 69 ctitical listening 66 mindful listening 66 mindless listening 66 analytical, task-oriented, citical) and others’ listening styles helps you adapt to any given ¢ Liseening to understand requires withholding judgment, talking and interrupting les, seek- ing feedback by asking sincere (not counterfeit) questions, paraphrasing, atending to nonverbal cues, and taking notes. Evaluative listening involves analyzing both a speaker's evidence and emotional appeals. paraphrasing 69 relational listening 65 sincere question. 68 taskeoriented listening 66