The Best

Meditation

A small boy was telling

another boy, "My mother is a great
orator. She can speak on any
subject for hours."
The other said, "That's nothing.
My mother is such a great orator
she can speak without any subject
for hours. Nobody knows what she
is speaking."
A woman walked into the
Missing Persons Bureau. "My
husband disappeared last night,"
she reported.
"We'll do our best to find him,"
the officers assured her. "Kindly
give us a description of the man."
"Well," she waited a little and
then said, "he's about five feet tall,
wears thick glasses, has a bald
head, drinks a lot, has a red nose,
has a high squeaky voice...." And
then she stopped and thought for a
moment, and said, "Oh, just forget
the whole thing!"
The professor was telling his 8
a.m. class, "I have found that the
best way to start the day is to
exercise for five minutes, take a
deep breath of air and then finish
with a cold shower. Then I feel
rosy all over."
A sleepy voice from the back of
the room responded, "Tell us more
about Rosy!"

visited a large department store to

buy his wife some nylon hose.
Inadvertently he got caught in the
mad rush of a counter where a
bargain sale was going on. He soon
found himself being pushed and
stepped on by frantic women. He
stood it as long as he could, then
with head lowered and elbows out,
he plowed through the crowd.
"You there!" said a woman.
"Can't you act like a gentleman?''
"Not anymore," said Nasrudin.
"I have been acting like a
gentleman for an hour. From now
on I am acting like a lady."
Paddy and Seamus are sitting
in the pub, having a drink
together.
"A burglar got into my house at
three o'clock this morning," says
Paddy, "while I was on my way
home from the pub."
"Did he get anything?" asks
Seamus.
"He certainly did," says Paddy.
"The poor guy is in the hospital.
My wife, Maureen, thought it was
me!"
"I turned the way I signaled,"
said the lady, indignantly, after the
crash.
"I know it," retorted Mulla
Nasrudin. "that's what fooled me."
One day Mulla Nasrudin

64

A tiny, fastidious woman came

at rush-hour and she upturned the
whole grocery store. For hours she
bothered and bored Nasruddin.
Only after hours of struggle could
he satisfy her; she finally
purchased what she wanted and
was satisfied.
And then the woman said:
'Mulla, you may not be knowing,
but when I came to your shop I
had a very terrible headache -- and
now it is absolutely gone.'
Mulla Nasruddin said: 'Dear
madam, don't be worried. Don't be
worried! It has not gone. It has
come to me.'