Sarah Street

17 October, 2016
AP Language and Composition
Mrs. Hunt
All Are Created Equal?
In her TED Talk We Should All be Feminists, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie asks the audience to
consider two possibilities: What if, in raising children, we focus on ability, instead of gender? What
if...we focus on interest, instead of gender? Adichie raises the question, what would happen if society did
not set different expectations for the role each gender should play? There are injustices in the way gender
is taught in society, as while there are inherent biological differences between men and women, there is
more that is the same between them than that is different. Social behaviors are becoming more and more
dangerous to humanity as people are forced to conform to certain ideals that have been set for them by a
century long belief that men and women should each be and act a certain way. Due to expectations placed
on people at a young age, media and marketing influence, and bias in the adult world, society influences
the way people understand gender and gendered behavior which creates a massive gap between men and
women and places a major stress on people to take on specific roles in society.
Because of the gender expectations placed on children from the moment they are born, often they
begin to conform to gender roles very early in life. From the moment the gender of a child is discovered,
most parents paint the nursery pink or blue and automatically buy gender-specific clothing and toys;
gender roles are already assigned. They pick out a gender specific name and daydream about all the things
they will do with either their son or their daughter. If it is a girl, mother's dream about playing dress-up
and having tea parties. If it is a boy, fathers dream about playing catch and video games. It does not
matter, initially at least, what the childs interests are really going to be or what their personality will be
like. Everything, from when that child is born, is based off gender. Maybe that is because at that moment,
that is all the parents know about their child. But why, based simply off a small biological difference, are
so many external decisions made? As the child grows up, they slowly begin to conform into these groups.
In The Mask You Live In, a documentary examining the expectations and stereotypes placed on males in
society, the viewer gets to see the detrimental nature of the phrase, Be a man. When a boy is told to be

a man, he is being told to suppress his emotions and toughen up, a completely unhealthy reaction. Boys
are not inherently emotionally-strong, they are taught to be this way. Societal pressures make boys
uncomfortable with being vulnerable and feel like they have to be tough, causing an overwhelming
amount of bottled-up emotions and then society questions, Why do people not know how to deal with
their emotions in a healthy way? Why do boys not have acceptable social behaviors? Outside of simply
the phrase Be a man, boys are marketed violent and aggressive toys and games from a young age as
well. According to The Mask You Live In, the youngest mass shooter was an eleven year old boy and
society asks, How could this happen? When a child is told to suppress their emotions and then go play
violent, gun-filled video games what society really should be questioning is How could this not
happen? The expectation is that men should be unemotional but know how to deal with their pent-up
emotion, yet the latter is never taught.
On the other hand, girls are taught a completely opposite gender role from a young age. When a
little girl is growing up, most of the time she is cast into a box of frilly pink and hyperfeminine activities.
The juxtapositioning placed in films like The Mask You Live In and Miss Representationa documentary
showing the girls side of gender rolesreveals how different girls and boys are treated. Boys are
inspired to be violent and aggressive while girls are inspired to be pretty and delicate. While this is true,
little girls at least still have the confidence to say I want to be president of the United States until they
hit puberty. However, confidence plummets once they reach that fatal age and begin to develop and
become interested in boys. According to Miss Representation, 53% of girls are unhappy with their bodies
at 13 and that percentage increases to 78% by age 17. When girls, from a young age, are taught that their
appearance is valued more than their intellect or ability, no wonder girls feel the need to be perfect and
beautiful. Children, by the time they are in middle school, have already placed themselves in boxes of
who they are and have negative connotations with anything that makes them different or stand-out. In
Go Carolina, a memoir by David Sedaris, Sedaris is a young boy with a speech impediment who has
decided, due to his speech impediment, he will never be popular or successful. At one point, after Agent
Sampson mentions putting a sign on the door of their room, he thinks, She was probably thinking along

the lines of SPEECH THERAPY LAB, though a more appropriate marker would have read FUTURE
HOMOSEXUALS OF AMERICA. We knocked ourselves out trying to fit in but were ultimately betrayed
by our tongues (3). The reader gets to see how being homosexual is already seen in a negative view by
middle school and is something no one wants to be. Ultimately, at a young age, children have already
developed an idea of who they are supposed to be, and often that idea has to do with their gender; it no
longer matters who one is, but it becomes who one is expected to be.
Since the media and marketing plays such a large role in our lives, people are influenced into
believing there is a certain way they are supposed to be. Gender-bias is a constant in modern life, so much
so that it is almost impossible to buy a simple non-gendered item without the packaging and marketing of
that item somehow being changed to appeal to a specific gender. However, it is not only the non-gendered
items. There is an abundance of marketing campaigns targeting specifically men or women, the mens
being dark and traditionally masculine while the womens being pink or purple and traditionally feminine.
The media inspires each gender to believe that they like a certain type of product simply by packaging
and ad campaigning and basically tells people, This is what being a man is and This is what being a
woman is. Marketing is especially gendered, as previously mentioned, at young ages. Girls are inspired
to play with dolls and dress up as princesses while boys are inspired to play with toy guns and violent
video games. Moreover, the media is such a large part of peoples lives that when men and women are
constantly portrayed in specific ways, it influences the idea that men are one way and women are another.
Women are portrayed a certain way by the media which causes them to seem unequal to men as they are
consistently shown more as desirable objects than people. Media creates a double standard for women by
representing them a certain way in everything. Through constant propaganda, it is hard not to see women
as a certain wayless of a leader, less strong, less confident, more obsessed with men and less involved
with their career. It is uncommon to see a movie with a woman protagonist, and often if this does occur,
the womans sole goal is a man. Women superheroes are sexualized, and the goal of male superheroes is
less to save the world and more to get the girl. Plus, in media it becomes obvious that certain body types
are idealized. In certain movies and TV shows, actors are contractually bound to lose or gain weight and

to keep a specific image. The focus has ceased to be on ability, but rather on gender and on appearance.
All in all, media and marketing create ideals of each gender and make people feel inclined to conform to
these ideals.
Whether it be the workforce or adult life in general, men and women are expected to act a certain
way and play certain roles and society and often become subject to bias based solely on their gender. In
The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Stetson, a woman with depression is oppressed and
belittled by her husband without him even intentionally trying to do so. The story takes place in 1892 and
follows the private thoughts of a newlywed mother in her secret diary as she tries to escape the oppression
being placed on her by society, her husband, and herself. In the story, the main characters husband took
charge of her diagnosis and did not give her a say in her own life. Due to limited knowledge, to him,
depression was a sickness and he limited what he allowed her to do, not allowing her to do the things
that may have kept her sane such as going outside or writing in her journal. While he had the best of
intentions and thought he was doing what was right, honestly all he was doing was basically saying is, I
am above you and I know what is best for you without giving her any say in her own life. Plus, her
longing to be free was not strong enough to stand up and fight back and she let him dictate her life. As he
was a man and a doctor, it was as if she knew her place was below him and she had to obey his
commands. She says at one point, If a physician of high standing, and ones own husband, assures
friends and relatives that there is really nothing the matter with one but temporary nervous depressiona
slight hysterical tendencywhat is one to do? (2). While this story may have taken place in the
nineteenth century, that does not mean similar situations do not occur today. Through societys ideologies
that men should be the breadwinner and women should be at home with the children among others, it is
common for women to feel like they are inferior; In Miss Representation, Lisa Ling remarked, As a
culture, women are brought up to be fundamentally insecure and always looking for the time when that
knight on a horse will come and rescue us or provide for us (Miss Representation). Women are
constantly searching for the approval of men rather than doing whats right for them. We live in a
patriarchy and that fact is quite clear. Even when women do work in traditionally male workplaces, they

are often discriminated against and do not get the recognition their abilities and achievements deserve.
Former U.S. Speaker of House, Nancy Pelosi, said in Miss Representation, When I first ran for public
office although my son was a senior in high school, the question I was most frequently asked was,
Whos going to be taking care of your children? And of course, its one of those questions I dont think a
man has ever been asked when he has run for office (Miss Representation). Society seems to value that
women should have childrenoften looking down on them and calling them selfish if they dontyet
women are valued less once they have a child, being considered a less convenient asset. Often women
have their skills be ignored because they are a mother; apparently, theyre not committed. A woman
doesnt just have to be a mother or a working woman, she can be both, just like a man can be a father and
a working man. In addition, the higher an authority or leadership position in business, the less women you
see. Women in business often have to work too hard to be seen as equal to the men and often they will
never reach a leadership position they deserve when up against a man. Its unfair that an equally qualified
or maybe even more qualified person will not achieve their goals and what they have worked hard to
accomplish solely because of gender bias. Similarly, men are often looked down upon if they dont work.
Stay-at-home dads often suffer the abuse of being called lazy or being treated like they are less manly
because they stay home with the children. Conclusively, not only are gender expectations and bias present
in adolescence, but they continue through adulthood.
Since society places such large expectations on people at a young age and in adulthood, plus
creates stereotypes in media and marketing, the way people understand gender and gendered behavior is
influenced, creating a gap between men and women and causing people to feel inclined to take on specific
roles in society. It is important to stop pushing gender stereotypes in order to decrease violence and
increase equality in America, a place where in which all men are created equal.