Be Explicit and Precise ‘Write text thats absolutly precise so it's understood the fist tin Incude all the pertinent details. Leave nothing to the reader i tespretation, Here are two examples. Each imprecise version is followed by ‘explanation of whats wrong with it. A mare cleatly written versic ‘quire two weeks to review what you've recommended. So ‘lease turn them in on time From that paragraph, the reader can't tll when Cathy ‘needs the performance reviews. Here's one way to mal it more explicit: Please submit your performance re- Views to Cathy Jones by Noveriber 16. She needs two weeks to review your suggestions and must turn them to human resources by November 30, Unclear/imprecise: Shipping costs forthe second quarter were 15 percent higher. Were the shipping costs 1$ percent higher than the first quarter that just ended, 15 percent higher than the second quarter last yea, or 15 percent higher thay all of last yea? If you're using a comparative term (in {his case, higher, you have to say what you'e compar {ng it with, Here's one way to clarify the matter: Ship- ‘ing costs for the secand quarter ofthis year vere 15, Percent higher than for the second quarter of lest year, Sometimes we confuse a reader by the order in which we arrange our words. Consider these examples and the suggested im provements: Confusing: Sob Reed tld me October 1 that interest rater on the loan are 0.5 percent higher than antiisated, effec tive immediately, so please revce your figures 24 Be Explct, Clow, ond ConcineDoes effective immediatly selec to Ge over mak tober 1 or tothe date this message is Sent? The reader cant tell fiom this sentence and won't know on what date what yout to base the figures revision. Rearang hoy ling the words in one of these way will aan clear up the confusion: (1) Bob Reed fold me that, effective October 1, ite. ext ‘ton guess fon the loan are 0.5 percent higher than anticipated, 0 please revise your figures (2) On Oetber 1, Bob Reed told me thax effective today (October 15). inter are 0.3 parce rates on the loon ed. Pe higher than antcp {our figures to reflect this increase Confusing: 1 need to speak with Rick Before his meeting to Alay with the colesforce at 3:30 Do you need to speak with Rick at 3:30? Oris Rick's meeting at 3:30? Hee area couple of ways to eat (1) 1 need to speak with Rick today before his 3:30 meet ‘ith the salesfore or (2) I need to speak with Rick ay at 3:30, before h necting wth the salesforce. ng: This morning Lapp consultane with several good ideas, Who hai the good ideas —y 2 way to make that clear: ou othe consultant? Here's This morning, 1 approached ultant, whe had eevee good ideas. Put Your Message in Context Tver assume your readers know the top talking about in your mess your me ie OF content of what youre sage. AL the moment when they‘ reading ¢. their minds may be clogged wit that they easily forget the issue/problen/ 0 many thoughts project you're addressing. Don't worry about offending people who do now and seal the a ation a 0M as they see YOU nate on the message. They ap. recite the eminger and your words wil establish a contest fog a— messages that will be filed and referted to later, Here a | ple messages that lack context 1, Te concerned that the p oc ise ng, especially siven the CEO's issues withthe upcoming meeting Which project? How long is too long? What are the o finish it before the board meeting on June 22, one week 2, Paul, you made the same mistakes again, and we need to get this estimate done so we can submit for approval be {fore its too late, Please revise and get it to mein time Which mistakes? When di 1 do it the fist time? When wil too wei 9 Prece 3s tebe? This is better written: Paul, your second-quarter estimate omitted travel expentes for the support staff the same mistake you made o {first-quarter estimate. Pease revise and submit to Use Simple Words, Not Stuffy Ones Long sentences and pompous expressions wor't impress your read rs. Go simple every time Stuffy and wordy: Our determination of whether or not to retain the existing software system wl conclude after the firstiine managers have completed thet evaluations. Plain English: Well de software sy Stufty and wordy: You will be advised of my decision re garding whether our team ‘that you requested as soon as I review the situation with my supervise, after which I whether sep the existing tem after the fstlne managers complete their beable to meet the deudine inform you of theo 26 Ra Explicit, Clear, and ConcicePlain English: After I ‘four team can meet the deadline nck with my supervisor. Tool 3.1 suggests simple and divect replacements for some stulfy words and phrases Don’t Catch the Buzz Don't use pseudesophistcated words or techno-babble to show oth fers how smart or business savvy you are. Your readers won't beim ject Dressed, and you may come across a& insecure and uninformed about the 0 se saifforward subject. although business buzzwords have become rather commonplace in office conversations, theyre out of place in written communication, longing rather than buzzwords or Jargon-to corey ‘One buzzword Tm getting tied of, your paint dary, is leverage. Primarily a financial term, its defined as the degre to which an Investor or business i using borrowed rraney. But today leverage is overused in place of simpler words to oseribe various nonfinanciat 1. The company wit ‘ee these two examples: leverage its well-established distribution system to create serve programs Jor large regional operators ‘There's nothing about bortowed money in that state rent, Here's a simpler way of saying it: The company wil use is well-established distribution system to create service programs Jo large regional operators 2. We need to leverage our resources to extract maximum productivity. Here’ a better way to say that: Me need to use our resources to maximize productivity n both sentences, use conveys the point more simply than does Be Explicit, Clee and Concise 27| Stufty vs. Straightforward Words and Phrases stuly Strighforaad abbevk ~ shorten diy so acquaint yours wth leon advontagecu help determing, ind out sssumpton blot ate present me ow commence/inaugurateloiginate Weaver verb} ty sei prove mosh because i eo instead of i gad about 1 the peghboriood of ent. nigh pprosimatly «f considerable magrivede ge precipitated cused wechcated on based on u bao 28 Be Eaplct, Clear, and ConcisePr simplistic for the business world. Simplicity is the most powerful cords you should avoid hiping departmont sing managers ds State Your Points Positively 1s easier for readers to grasp what is or what should be rather than whats not or what shouldn't be. Here's an example ofa state iment with two negatives: The southwest division shoud’ eliminate incentives for the salesforce Buzzwords vs. Simple Words ays rom the mating steps, action plan, of handout Be Geplit, Clear and Concte 29Do you see both of the negatives? Should’? is one; eliminate is | other. When the sentence is rewritten in a positive way, the mean ing is immediately clear and instructive ‘The southwest division should continue us Similarly, write what there's more of instead of what there's tess of What's tess: Regional managers poy much less attention to | forthe salesforce they pay to sales figures What's more: Regional managers pay mucl to sales figues than they pay to customer service ee Drop Unnecessary Words ‘Thomas Jefferson, in his day a fine writer, un derstood the importance of being concise, He sald, "The most valuable of all talents ie that of never using two worde when one wil do.” oid count by wats Prel oS daleting th that at add 1 may sound lke a tiny matter—one word or two but over an entice document, useless words add up and waste reader’ time 1 you cut in half the number of words in your document. you help the teader grasp your message move quickly and save time for the other million things that must be done To make every word count, start by eliminating unnecessary ot etitious pr examples: that add nothing to the message. Hete are some Overstuffed: 1¢ has come to my attention that the pu chasing department doesn't tack every invoice, which com: ats budgeting, Lean: The purchasing department dosen't task evry in ice, whieh compli Overstuffed: I thoughe you might lke to know that mare than 30 percent of the suppor staff will be taking vo ext week lea, ond Conc‘Lean; More than 30 percent ofthe support staf wil be tke ing vacations nest week Overstuffed: Let me start by thanking oll the account ex ecutves who contributed to ou Lean: Thanks to oll the account exseutves who contibuted ‘There are many more unnecessary words and phrases that you smay be tempted to use, Tool 33 lists some repetitious and mean ingless phases, and gives you lean alternatives. Remember, if t doesn't add meaning, nix it! Repetitious vs. Concise Terms Repott Concise ample filed fed aing the couse, hing he purpos pa. in te afternoon Be Explicit, Clear and Concise 31Pree os — Fever words should produce fewer sentences. in these exam les, there's no need to write (wo sentences whete one will do: ‘wo sentences and too many words: I reod the budget re port. I felt i was well organized, b io me, it was overly optimistic about anticipated revenues One concise sentence: The budget report i well o1gon but overy opti od revenues Two sentences and too many words: A the soles mes attended, several issues were istic about antiipat ting ‘alked about. These included and the tack of administrative suppor. One concise sentence: The two od atthe sales ot of administrative support ‘wo sentences and too many words: Our marketing should ‘be targeted only toa nano audience. 1¢ needs Important issues dis tng wore the new marketing mater: (0m past customers only and not be directed at other eudience One concise sentence: Our arketng strategy should be (argeted only to post customers We dropped words and punctuation and we combined sentences without losing any of the meaning in fact, the message came though muck more clearly with fewer words and sentences. (Well talk nore about cutting in Step 9: Edit, Rewrite, and Refine.) Whiting precisely and concisely can dramatically reduce the numberof zenten #5 you need to get yout pont across. Here are a uple examples of deep chopping: Five sentences: The fourth quarter report isa bit incomplete This docu needs more information on budgets. We need money spent in te the previous tvo years and how al those amounts compre wid one an 0 please make the ne (his report do think twas well written, abit ‘One sentence: Pease revise th fourth-quarter cep Ht ten but o omparable budget infor ‘from the post two ye‘When you've cut five sentences to one without chopping out any necessary detail, you'te getting to the point fast—just what the reader vans, In this example, the impact is even more dramatic Wordy: 2 know cust tical The prob fem is that Tm not sure abou service training i i you suggested that will occur on March 15, For my team, we nee aes tecnico sil, its biggest problem. Inthe past its sometimes, but not always, included. My decision to ena my team in this taining is contingent upon the inclusion of ls component. Fd appreciate if you could let ime knoweither way, Then Til ake my decision, which ozo til be based on whether Sue's tam wil be able to cover cur duties aeequately onthe phone onthe day of the training, Concise: 1 he March 15 tvlning i tech ile will be covered and if Sue's tam can rll my team in phone dties that day ‘The difference: ove sentence with 26 words vs. seven sentences with 106 words And a statement that’s so much easier to under stand, That's some serious and successful cutting Your Turn By writing im cles, straightforward language, you help others read faster without getting 1. Replace the stuffy language shown in bold with straight nfused. Try the exercises below forward text 2, Lary was disappointed due to the fact that his boss se recognizad his hard work . As per our conversation, your team need: to work 2. Replace the buzzwords in bold with straightforward Tanguay: 1 you disagree with Steve during ow meeting, don't say anything. WoT discus it offline. by. Thisyear the boss wants us to wark hander on our go sone con actualize them, Be Exact, Clea, and Concxe 33