ditional probably isn t a word that anyone would use to describe me.

If there s anything I ve learned over the course of my life, it is that breaking awa
y from the perceived norm can be difficult. But I ve also learned that living life a
certain way just to please people is nothing short of a death sentence.
Thankfully, I learned that lesson relatively early-on in life.
As a younger man, I did everything I could to live like everyone else thought I
should. This gained me a small bit of approval from my elders and peers (which I
craved for the temporary feelings of happiness and inclusion it provided), but
it ultimately filled me with emptiness on the inside.
The fact of the matter was that I wasn t being true to myself and as a result, I end
ed up bitter, resentful, and angry toward everything that my normal life had becom
e.
Eventually, I hit emotional rock-bottom. I found myself so disappointed and dish
eartened at my existence that I could barely summon the energy to get out of bed
in the morning.
In my mind, I was quickly running out of reasons to continue living. Any shred o
f happiness that I had once possessed was gone. This confused me, because I was
making decent money, and had what most people would consider a good life.
But it all felt forced, empty, and meaningless.
The problem was that I wanted something different. But other people in my life e
ncouraged me to live the way they thought I should live and I found myself secondguessing my own passions and ambitions when this happened. I wanted them to be h
appy with me. I wanted respect and admiration from my friends, family, and commu
nity.
I wanted their approval.
But in trying to please them and make them proud, I was effectively abandoning e
verything that meant anything to me. Instead of living my life and finding my ow
n way, I had become a clone. My life had become a carbon-copy of the status quo,
with nothing original or different to set it apart from anyone else s.
There was nothing left in it for me. I felt misplaced like my life wasn t even my li
fe anymore.
So about 5 years ago, I began to change. But I soon learned that I could not bec
ome my true self without letting go of my deep-seated need to please other peopl
e.
This was surprisingly difficult for me but I quickly learned that breaking away fr
om this mentality and living life on my own terms could be as liberating as it w
as stimulating.
I also found that doing so enabled me to love myself more which also made me bette
r at loving other people, despite our differences.
I quit my safe construction job to become a freelance writer. This got me away fro
m a work situation that felt hopeless and allowed me to pursue something that I
cared about.
I rejected materialism, and my family (my amazing wife and two children) and I b
egan to practice minimalism. This completely transformed the way we spent money
and managed our possessions.
My wife and I had both come from extremely religious backgrounds but over the cour
se of our transformation, through our studying, we learned that we didn t believe
the same things that our families believed. Bringing this into the open caused a
hailstorm of condemnation and disapproval from the religious people around us.
But it also allowed us, for the first time, to live openly and to be true to wha
t we believed and this brought us a tremendous amount of happiness, peace, and con
fidence.
My wife and I both came out as non-monogamous to our friends and family. Once ag
ain, we were met with judgment and disapproval. But this decision allowed us to
be open about who we really were as humans. It also showed us who our real frien
ds were, and gave us the self-worth and self-confidence we needed to be the most
natural and authentic versions of ourselves.
These changes (and others) led us from a life of confusion, endless repetition,
and personal emptiness, to a life of intentionality, passion, and ultimately self
-fulfillment.

But it wasn t always easy and we quickly learned that we had to leave behind our con
cerns for what other people thought of us in order to become who we truly wanted
(and needed) to be.
Over the course of my life, I ve learned many lessons pertaining to this struggle.
But when it comes to trying to please other people, here are the 3 that stick o
ut to me as the most important.
You may only get one chance at this life so why live it to satisfy the opinions o
f others?
Your life is far too important to spend living to please other people. Yes, we s
hould love others, conduct ourselves peacefully, and do everything we can to mai
ntain positive relationships. But never, under any circumstances, should we allo
w the mere opinions of the people around us to dictate how we live our lives.
Be the you that you truly desire to become. Live life on your terms. Take the chan
ces that you want to take, and become the best version of yourself that you can
possibly be.
People who judge other people are often unhappy themselves
Open-mindedness and acceptance are generally the signs of a genuine, authentic,
and intentional life. On the flipside, judgment and closed-mindedness are usuall
y symptoms of a life devoid of happiness, self-worth, and idealistic integrity.
By this logic, trying to appease the closed-minded people around you is akin to
cutting off one of your own arms just because everyone else decided to do so.
Don t restrict yourself based on the limited viewpoints of the people around you.
Stop forcing yourself to overlook your own potential. Don t allow the opinions of
other people to keep you from living the best and most authentic life possible.
It s your life and if people don t agree that you have a right to make your own choice
s (and encourage you to do so), then you would probably do well to stop listenin
g to what they have to say.
Interestingly, I noticed that when I stopped living to please other people, a lo
t of my friends ended up rejecting me. But I also noticed that new people began
to show up in my life new friends who were also authentic, real, and genuine.
I now have an amazing, incredible network of friends in my life who are open-min
ded and accepting of me for who I am and I now have a greater sense of community i
n my life than I ve ever experienced before.
At the end of your life, you ll regret not living the way you really wanted
This is probably the realization that has given me the most courage. I never wan
t to end up on my deathbed wishing that I had done something differently. I neve
r want to look back and feel that I missed out on life because I was too afraid
to take a different path.
When I reach the end of my journey in this world, I want to look back and know t
hat I lived my life to the fullest extent possible. I want to know that I left n
othing to chance and that I seized every possible opportunity.
But most of all, I want to know that I wasn t held back by fear.
I want to look back on my life and know, without a doubt, that I was strong enou
gh and brave enough to live on my own terms regardless of whether or not the peopl
e around me disapproved.
What lessons have you learned about trying to please other people? I would love
to hear about them and learn from your experiences as well so please feel free to
leave a comment.