Short Story I

Gertrude galumphed gracefully through the field of flowers like an elephant

gracefully performs ballet. Her feet resembled that of a hippopotamus if the
hippo had gangrene and a severe case of gout. Her eyes were as blue as
diamonds are soft and squishy and did nothing to compliment her complexion.
The flowers began to cry, their heads squashed by Gertrudes unholy feet. The
rest of the world was immensely pretty as was Gertrudes mother Hilda. Hilda
was a beautiful woman but her unexplainable pregnancy was fraught with
alcohol consumption, toxic waste consumption and cleaning fluid consumption
(Hilda was pregnant during the 1960s, she was into some pretty weird stuff).
Needless to say Hilda experienced immense pain during childbirth. When her
child emerged, the doctor screamed Kill the monster, its hideous. Where is my
plastic surgeon but Hilda refused to abort the child She may be hideously ugly,
but she is my freak of nature not yours and I will do with her as I like she
grinned. She took the thing in her arms. I shall name thee Gertrude She took
Gertrude home and locked her in the pantry. Tears rolled down Gertrudes fat
cheeks, but luckily for her the pantry was full of comfort food. Or not, as all
women were incredibly thin and curvy, their pantrys consisted of asparagus and
dated spinach. So Gertrude starved. Poor Gertrude, she was very out of place
with her world. Three years later, Hilda opened the pantry to fetch some
asparagus and saw Gertrude, malnourished but somehow 5 times fatter than she
was as an infant. Gertrude lashed out at Hilda and mauled her to a pulp. She
then proceeded to go outside where we find her at this moment eating the local
wildlife.