A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung on the surface of

the water. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per
hour. How long will it be until three rungs are covered?

Never. The boat rises as the tide goes up.

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A farmer had 15 sheep, and all but 8 died. How many are left?
The 8 sheep that were left.
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A little girl kicks a soccer ball. It goes 10 feet and comes back to her. How is this possible?
She kicked it up.
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A man and his son were in an automobile accident. The man died on the way to the
hospital, but the boy was rushed into surgery. The emergency room surgeon said "I can't
operate, that's my son!" How is this possible?
The surgeon was his mother.
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A man dressed in all black is walking down a country lane. Suddenly, a large black car
without any lights on comes round the corner and screeches to a halt. How did the car know
he was there?
It was day time.
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A rooster laid an egg on top of the barn roof. Which way did it roll?
It didn't roll - roosters don't lay eggs.
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A truck driver is going down a one way street the wrong way, and passes at least ten cops.
Why is he not caught?
He's walking on the sidewalk.
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An electric train is moving north at 100mph and a wind is blowing to the west at 10mph.
Which way does the smoke blow?
There is no smoke with an electric train.
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Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Mount Everest was still the highest even though it had not been discovered.
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Does Britain have a 4th of July?
Yes they do, and a July 5th and a July 6th.
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Eskimos are very good hunters, but they never hunt penguins. Why not?
Eskimos live at the North Pole, penguins at the South Pole.
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How can a man go eight days without sleep?
No problem , He sleeps at night.
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How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
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How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.
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How many animals did Moses take onto the ark?
None; Noah was in that story!
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How many birth days does the average person have?
Just one, all the rest are anniversaries.
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How many cheeks do you have?
Fourcount them.
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How many legs does an elephant have if you count his trunk as a leg?
Four. Because calling the trunk a leg doesnt make it a leg.
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How much dirt is there in a hole 3 feet deep, 6 ft long and 4 ft wide?

None, or it wouldnt be a hole.

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I asked the assistant in the hardware store, "How much will one cost?" "Twenty cents" she
replied. "And how much will twelve cost?" I asked. "Forty cents." she replied. "OK, I'll take
one hundred and twelve." How much did I pay?
Only 60 cents. I needed 3 numbers for my house number.112.
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If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it
take before all the pills had been taken?
1 hour! Take the 1st pill right away, half an hour later take the 2nd and half an hour after
that the 3rd. Total time spent: 1 hour!
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If a plane crashes on the border between the US and Mexico, where do they bury the
survivors? a plane crashes on the border between the US and Mexico, where do they bury
the survivors?
Survivors generally are never buried.
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If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it take four men to build it?
No time at all it is already built.
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If Mr Smith's peacock lays an egg in Mr Jones' yard, who owns the egg?
Peacocks dont lay eggs, just peahens.
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If there are 6 apples and you take away 4, how many do you have?
The 4 you took.
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If you divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?
70! Think about it. What does half really mean? It's 0.5! What is 30 divided by 0.5? 60! Now
60 + 10 = 70.
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If you had only one match, and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, some
newspaper, and some kindling wood, which would you light first?
The match.
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If you spell "sit all day in the tub" S-O-A-K, and you spell "a funny story" J-O-K-E, how do
you spell "the white of an egg"?
A-L-B-U-M-E-N or E-G-G-W-H-I-T-E
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Imagine you are driving a bus. When you start your trip there are an old lady named
Johnson and a long-haired kid on the bus. At the first stop the lady leaves and a
top businessman enters. At the next stop Frankie, a young boy, enters with his little sister.
Then three old ladies who have been shopping in the mall get on. After a short trip the longhaired kid leaves the bus and a man and lady enter. Paul with his dog Blue gets on, while
Frankie and his sister get off, and, finally, the bus arrives at the bus station. What is the
name of the bus driver?
Your name, youre the one driving the bus, remember.
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Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?
No, but since hes dead it would be kind of difficult.
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It was a Sunday morning. Father was getting the mail, mother was in the kitchen cooking
breakfast, little brother was playing Nintendo, big brother was playing the guitar, little sister
was playing with dolls, and big sister was listening to music. Then everyone went into big
sisters room and she was murdered! Who murdered her?
The father because it was a Sunday and no one gets mail on Sunday!
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Larry's father has five sons named Ten, Twenty, Thirty, Forty...Guess what would be the
name of the fifth?
It's Larry! (Larry is the fifth son).
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Mrs. Smiths bungalow is decorated entirely in pink. The carpet, lampshades, ceiling, walls
etc. are all pink. What color are her stairs?
Theres no stairs. Bungalows dont have a 2nd floor.?
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Some months have 31 days, others have 30 days. How many have 28 days?
All months have 28 days.
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That attorney is my brother, testified the accountant. But the attorney testified he didn't
have a brother. Who is lying?

Neither, the accountant was his sister.

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There is a fishing trawler, with a ladder in it, leaning against a wall at the harbor. There are
5 oars and 2 fishing nets in the trawler. The distance between two consecutive steps on the
ladder is 1 meter. If waves lashing against the wall rise half meter in every half hour, in how
much time will6 steps of the ladder get under the waves?
The trawler rises with the waves so no step will go under water.
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There was an airplane crash, every single person on board died, but yet two people
survived. How is this possible?
The two were married.
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There's a 1 story house where everything inside and outside of it was PURPLE. So what color
were the stairs?
There were no stairs because it was a one story house!
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Uncle Joe's farm had a terrible storm. All but seven sheep were killed. How many sheep are
still alive?
Seven.
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What can you never eat for breakfast?
Dinner.
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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
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What do you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
A chair, a bed and a toothbrush.
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What familiar word starts with IS, ends with AND, and has LA in the middle?
Island.
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What goes up and down, but still remains in the same place?

Stairs!
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What goes up and never comes down?
Age.
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What happened when wheel was invented?
It caused a revolution.
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What has 4 wheels & flies?
The garbage truck!
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What is the maximum number of times a normal sheet of (news)paper can be folded in half
by hand?
Only once. After that youre folding it into quarters, eights and so on.
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What is the most recent year where New Years preceded Christmas?
This year. New Years always preceded Christmas in the calendar year.
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What looks like half an apple?
The other half.
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What was the (American) President's name in 1960?
Exactly the same as today.
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Who's bigger: Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger or their baby?
The baby, since he is a little Bigger.
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Why are 1968 pennies worth more than 1967 pennies?
Because the 1968 pennies are one penny more than in 1967.
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Why is it against the law for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?

Because hes not dead yet.

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You have a cup placed on a table. You are pointing towards the North and the cup is facing
towards the South. On which side is the cup's handle?
No matter in which position the cup is, it's handle will always be on the outside!
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You have 20 apples in a basket. 20 children come to you and each one of them ask for an
apple. You want to give all the apples to each one of them, but still keep one inside the
basket? How will you do it?
Give all the 19 apples to each one of them and give the basket to the last child with the
apple still inside it.
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