Spiderman Vs Deadpool

By Adamski Fleetwood
The Butthole Waitress

The Noises In The Loft by Edgar Allen Poened Your Mum

AFProductions

Carrier Pidgeon

EXT. BACK ALLEY, EARLY EVENING

Deadpool is propping himself against the right hand side

alley wall, one leg up, smoking a cigarette. He flicks the
ash and then drops it, crushing it with his boot.
DEADPOOL
Dunno why I smoke anyway, I cant
even smell it through this damn
mask
He approaches a nearby sedan parked between two dumpsters
filled to the brims with trash.
DEADPOOL(MUTTERS)
Who gives a crap about the big C
when Id give that girl on your
arm the big D, right? (LOOKS TO
CAMERA, CHILDRENS CAR HORN HONK
AS HE WINKS AT VIEWER)
We follow his feet as he approaches, pan up as he opens
the boot and Spiderman falls out heavily to the floor
SPIDERMAN (VOICE MUFFLED, FACE POINTED
AT FLOOR)
Deadpool? Whats going on man?
Deadpool picks Spiderman up from the floor and dumps him
into the boot of the saloon. Immediately Spiderman shoots
a net of webbing between himself and Deadpool. Deadpool is
nonchalant, ejecting the spent magazine from one of his
handguns to the floor and injecting another and then
holstering it
DEADPOOL
Aw nothing Spider, just some
friendly neighborhood hi jinks.
How about you spin me a web of
your troubles and well see if we
cant fix them for ya?
Deadpool hops into the boot and settles himself into the
web Spiderman has already created inside the car boot. He
reclines like a psychologists patient, his arms behind
his head yet he plays the side of the psychologist
DEADPOOL
So how does it feel to be the
spider trapped in the boot of a
Toyota?
SPIDERMAN
How does it feel to be the only
superhero who looks like a...
a...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

(2)

2.

As Deadpool pulls the trigger Spidermans instincts come

to life. The bullet travels in slow motion towards his
shoulder as Spiderman dodges, the bullet tearing a trench
in his suit and his skin. He pulls the emergency catch on
the seat to his right, crawls through the gap and
spider-like around the interior of the car, exiting
through the drivers side window and leaping to the side
of a nearby flat block. Perching on the wall, he dodges
another of Deadpools rounds, disappearing.
Deadpool stands confused. We pan up to see Spiderman
perched on his shoulders, one foot on each of Deadpools
katakana.
SPIDERMAN
Hows it hanging down there?
DEADPOOL
Pretty good spider, I wouldnt
mind being blown right now though
Deadpool takes the pistol, puts it beneath his chin and
pulls the trigger, blowing his skull out in every
direction. Blood, fragments of bone and chunks of brain
scatter in every direction painting the signature
Deadpoo on the wall behind
Spiderman has already dodged the shot and drops from his
perch on the alley wall. He approaches Deadpools corpse
cautiously
Deadpools skull begins to regenerate, his face
reconstructing little by little. When fully reconstructed
he stands up, cracks his back, becoming stuck for a moment
bent backward and then again forward, straightens up,
shakes his head as if shaking off a hangover
Spiderman drops to the ground and approaches
DEADPOOL
Damn I fucking hate doing that!
SPIDERMAN
It looked pretty cool though
DEADPOOL
Well yeah, it will after they
touch it up in post
SPIDERMAN
Uh... what?
DEADPOOL
When they touch it up in post
man, the assholes who wrote the
script!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

(3)

3.

SPIDERMAN
What the fuck are you on about
man?
DEADPOOL
These guys!
Deadpool points the handgun straight at the camera (high
angle) and pulls the trigger, the lens of the camera
shattering
DEADPOOL
Shit, shit!
Deadpool reloads his gun, cocks it
DEADPOOL
These guys!
He fires again at the camera and
(everything captured from camera
Spiderman approach (feet only in
pops into frame seen through the

it falls to the ground

in POV). Deadpool and
shot). Deadpools face
cracked lens

DEADPOOL(MOTIONS TO SPIDERMAN - BOTH

LOOK THROUGH LENS)
These guys.
Deadpool pulls the trigger directly into the camera lens
CUT TO BLACK
DEADPOOL
Sorry camera guy.