UNIT 10

FORMING A FRIENDSHIP
Objectives
After learning this unit, you are expected to be able to:
1. identify clue words to follow an authors thoughts;
2. identify and write sentences with adjective clauses.

Pre-reading Activities
Discuss the following questions with a partner.
1. What do you do to form a friendship?
2. Are really good friends always of the same sex? Why?
3. What are the benefits of having many friends?
4. Are time and distance able to alter real friendship?
5. How do you make a close friendship?
6. How do you maintain a relationship?

Reading Activities
Using clue words to follow an authors thought
Writers rely on clue words to give structure to their writing and to help readers
predict or anticipate what will happen next in a sentence or paragraph. The
clue words are:
1.
One, two, and three, which indicate the number of items to be
enumerated
(or
named
one
by
one) and discussed;
2. For example and such as, which indicate an example is coming;
3. Also and furthermore, which indicate more on the same idea is coming;
4. But, however, and yet, which indicate ideas in opposition;
5. Similarly and on the other hand, which indicate a comparison or contrast is on the way;
6. If/then, hence, and consequently, which indicate a conditional relationship
(a
condition
followed
by an outcome);
7. Because and for this reason, which indicate a reason is coming.

Reading Selection

Forming a Friendship
Kathryn Kelley and Donn Byrne

Once two people meet and begin to

interact several factors come into play,
influencing
how
the relationship develops. First, our initial
impressions of others depend in large part on
appearance.
If our reactions are negative, the process stops. If
we respond positively, the second factor comes
into play: the extent to which we discover that we
share similar beliefs and attitudes with the other
person. Third, the final step in forming a closer
friendship occurs when we and the other person
each
feel and express a positive evaluation of the
other. We will now examine these three factors
in
greater detail.

Physical Attractiveness: Life as a Beauty Contest

On first coming in contact with someone,
we have a strong tendency to respond to physical
attractiveness - that combination of facial
features,
body
configuration,
and
general
appearance
that
our culture defines as pleasing. We all have
learned that Beauty is only skin deep and You
cant
judge a book by its cover; nevertheless, most
people respond most positively to those they
perceive
as attractive. Even in childhood, attractive
preschool girls are treated better than their less
attractive

peers by other children; the physically

attractive children are helped more and hurt
less.
Also,
attractiveness and unattractiveness remain as
fairly stable characteristics throughout childhood
and
adolescence.
Other species also respond to overt
physical characteristics - a peacocks tail, a
deers
antlers, a swordtail fishs tail fin - suggesting an
inherited tendency to attract mates on the basis
of
such clues.
Our culture also emphasizes the value of
beauty. For example, advertisements instruct
women to cover their embarrassing age spots,
lose weight, change their hairstyle and color, wear
the right makeup, and so on. The mass media
are found to stress slimness for women much
more strongly than for men. Men, too, are told to
take steps to avoid gray hair, dandruff,
insufficiently
white
teeth,
underdeveloped
muscles, and a host of other defects. One result
is that both men and women focus on the
attractiveness of the opposite sex in most of their
interactions. Not surprisingly, then, attractive men
and women receive more invitations for dates in
a video-dating service than unattractive ones.
Women are, however, able to overlook male
unattractiveness
if
the
men
possess
compensatory attributes such as status, money,
power, or prestige.
Physical attractiveness creates a halo
around those who possess it. Both men and
women assume that good-looking people also
have a great many positive personal qualities.
Our inflated view of attractive people can best be
overcome if we learn to pay more attention to
their behavior than to their appearance.
Altogether, beauty has a number of
benefits, however unfair this may be. Attractive

men
and
women have more success with the opposite sex,
including more dates, and they succeed in many
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other social situations as well. One explanation is

that those who are attractive males are relatively
assertive and unafraid of rejections, and
attractive women are relatively unassertive, and
these
are
precisely the qualities each sex most prefers in the
other in a dating situation. Beyond the dating age,
the greater a persons physical attractiveness, the
better off he or she is in educational level, income,
status, and mental health.
Because of the value we place on
attractiveness, it follows that self-perceptions
of deficiencies in appearance lower self-esteem
and lead to efforts to improve how we look.

Similarity: Seek Those Most Like Ourselves

Attraction toward a similar partner goes
beyond physical appearance. Once we begin
interacting with someone new, we try to
discover as much as possible about his or her
likes
and
dislikes. Throughout history it has been
observed that people respond most positively to
other
individuals who are most similar to themselves,
especially those who hold similar attitudes,
beliefs,
and values.
Research consistently finds that attitude
similarity leads to attraction. You may hear that
opposites attract, but such mismatching works
better in fiction than in real life. Attraction is a
direct consequence of similar attitudes. Thus,

friends, lovers, and spouses have similar views on

most
issues.
Why
is
similarity
so
crucial
in
relationships? It appears that similarity has a
positive effect because it helps confirm our
judgments about the world. When another person
agrees with us, he or she affirms or validates
our view about politics, religion, and so on and
also provides evidence that our judgments,
tastes, and style of behavior are reasonable,
normal, and wise. We find it rewarding when
others provide this positive information.

R
e
c
i
p
r
o
c
i
t
y
o
f
P
o
s
i
t
i
v
e
E
v

a
l
u
a
t
i
o
n
s
:
I
f
Y
o
u
L
i
k
e
M
e
,
L
e
t
M
e
K
n
o
w
If someone is really your friend and if your
interactions are positive, would you expect that

person to evaluate you positively, help you

whenever possible, and let you know you are
liked?
Many
students
indicate
that
the
communication of such positive evaluations
between
partners
is
the
most
crucial
characteristic of a successful relationship.
Even when two people are dissimilar in
their attitudes, a man will be attracted to a
woman
if
she shows interest in him by maintaining eye
contact, talking to him, and leaning toward him.
When
reciprocity
of
positive
reactions
occurs,
either
verbally
or
nonverbally,
the
relationship
is
strengthened for both individuals. Flattery, a
desire to be together and to communicate, and
any
sign
of affection indicate clearly that positive affect is
operating in the friendship. In contrast hostility,
negative evaluations, or refusal to be helpful to
one another creates a negative effect, which
clearly
endangers the relationship.
From Reading with Meaning, 1999 pp 127-129
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Questions
Answer the following questions by referring to
the text. Be ready to tell how you used the
authors clue words to help you answer.
Paragraph 1
1. How many factors about interaction
will the author discuss?
____________________
_________________________________________
___________________________
What are they?
_________________________________________
______________
___________________________________________________________
_________
2. If we respond positively, what then?
_______________________________________
________________________________________
____________________________
Nevertheless, what happens?
________________________________________
____
________________________________________
____________________________ Paragraph 4
3. What is an example of our cultures
emphasis

on

______________________

beauty?

_________________________________________
___________________________
4. What does the word however tell you
that the author is going to do here?
_________
_________________________________________
___________________________
Paragraph 5
5. If we learn to pay more attention to
behavior,

what

then?

_____________________
________________________________________
____________________________

Paragraph

7
6. Why do our perceptions of deficiencies
lower self-esteem? _______________________

___________________________________________
_________________________ Paragraph 9
7. Do opposites really attract?
________________________________________
______
What clue word tells you that is not
true? ___________________________________

_________________________________________
___________________________

8. Why do friends, lovers, and spouses

have

similar

views?

_______________________
________________________________________
____________________________

Paragraph

10
4

9. What word in this paragraph tells you that you are

handling cause/effect?
____________________________________
________________________________
Paragraph 11
10. If someone is really your friend,
what

then?

_________________________________
________________________________________
____________________________

Paragraph

12
11. Under what condition will a man be
attracted to a woman?
_____________________
_________________________________________
___________________________
What word clues you in to the
conditional relationship?
________________________
_________________________________________
___________________________

Vocabulary
Learn the following sentences taken from the
reading selection. Pay attention to the italicized
words.

1. When another person agrees with us, he or

she affirms or validates our view about politics,
religion, and so on and also provides evidence
that our judgments, tastes, and style of behavior
are reasonable, normal, and wise.
2. Women are, however, able to overlook male
unattractiveness
if
the
men
possess
compensatory
attributes such as status, money, power, or
prestige.
3. Women are, however, able to overlook male
unattractiveness
if
the
men
possess
compensatory
attributes such as status, money, power, or
prestige.
4. On first coming in contact with someone, we
have a strong tendency to respond to physical
attractiveness - that combination of facial
features, body configuration, and general
appearance
that our culture defines as pleasing.
5. Research consistently finds that attitude similarity leads
to attraction.
6. Other species also respond to overt physical
characteristics - a peacocks tail, a deers antlers,
a
swordtail fishs tail fin - suggesting an
inherited tendency to attract mates on the basis
of such
clues.
7. When reciprocity of positive reactions occurs,
either verbally or nonverbally, the relationship is
strengthened for both individuals.
8. Also, attractiveness and unattractiveness
remain
as
fairly
stable
characteristics
throughout
childhood and adolescence.

Now use the italicized words to complete the following

sentences.
1.
The
young
man
had
a
very
__________________
relationship
with
his
girlfriend;
he
had
been
seeing her for more than two years.
2. I was attracted to him because of his
social _____________________ and his
physical
characteristics.
3. The president ___________________ scored at the top of her
class; she always got As.
4. The agreement of _____________________
between the two clubs made it possible for
a
number of one club to eat in the dining
room of the other.
5. During halftime, the band lined up in a
________________________ that spelled out the
name
of the university.
6.
There
was
nothing
underhanded in what the team
captain did; he was always
____________________
and
aboveboard in his actions.
7. The captain of the team _____________________ that he had
never taken drugs.
8. In _____________________ education, a
person learns things to make up for his or
her
deficiencies.

Grammar Focus
Adjective Clauses

The words highlighted are the examples of adjectives

clauses from the reading selection.
1. Throughout history it has been observed that
people respond most positively to other
individuals
who are most similar to themselves, especially
those who hold similar attitudes, beliefs, and
values.
2. In contrast hostility, negative evaluations,
or refusal to be helpful to one another creates
a
negative effect, which clearly endangers the
relationship.
An adjective clause is a clause that modifies a
noun or a noun phrase acting as the
antecedent. Therefore, the adjective clause
comes right after the antecedent. The adjective
clause is preceded by a relative pronoun, the kind
of which depends on the antecedent.
Table 1 Relative pronouns introducing the adjective clause
people
things
time
place

who, whom, that

that, which
when
where

Other examples of adjective clauses:

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1. I have a friend who has many beautiful classical

records.
2. He is the friend whom I visited last week.
3. He is a conductor whose orchestra is well known.
4. The man whom we spoke with had just arrived in
Bandung.
We can leave out the relative pronouns
when a subject and a verb follow the
relative
pronoun.
Examples:
1. She is the teacher (whom) I had last semester.
2. This is the book (that) I am interested in.
3. Here is the copy of the first test (which) I told you
about.
We also can reduce an adjective clause to a phrase:
1. The student (who is) talking to the teacher is from
China.
2. Last night he gave a lecture (which was) on
economical development in his country.
3. Anyone (who is) interested in this
country should plan to attend another
lecture
tomorrow.

Exercise 1
Supply the correct relative pronoun for each adjective
clause in the following sentences.
1. The author __________ wrote this book was a
Frenchman.
2. He married a beautiful woman ________ was also an
author.

3. He is currently finishing a master degree _______ I

havent even started yet.
4. Steven Spielberg has made many movies _______
success has also been tremendous.
5. She was a modest woman _______ generosity was felt
by many people.
Exercise 2
Reduce the adjective clause to a phrase.
1. Chemistry, which is a difficult subject, can be
enjoyable.
2. Nevertheless, the students who are
taking Dr. Smiths class this semester are
enjoying
it.
3. Dr. Smith has written several
chemistry books, which are used in
universities
around
the world.
4. He has just completed an important
government report, which is on reserve
in
the
library.
5. The students that have been in his classes consider it
a privilege to study with him.
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Writing Practice
1. Write five sentences with adjective clauses.
2.

Summarize

the

reading

selection

in

approximately 250 words. Remember to include

the

context

clues to organize your details.

Summary
Clue words are used to give structure
to a piece of writing and to help readers
predict
or
anticipate what will happen next in a
sentence or paragraph.
2. An adjective clause is a clause that modifies
a noun or a noun phrase acting as the
antecedent.
The adjective clause is preceded by a
relative pronoun.
1.

Reflection
In this unit, you have learned how to
interpret graphs and charts, write a graph or
chart narration, and use present and past
participles. Put a check on the column based
on your self-assessment.
Objectives

Achieved

More practice
needed

To identify clue words

to
follow an authors
thoughts
To identify an
adjective
clause
To write sentences
with
adjective clauses
More practice on context clues can be retrieved from the
following site:
http://www.sinclair.edu/centers/tlc/pub/handouts_
worksheets/reading/learning_words_from_cont
ext_clues.pdf
You can go to this site for more practice on adjective clauses:
http://web2.uvcs.uvic.ca/elc/studyzone/410/grammar/adj1.ht
m
http://grammar.about.com/od/sentencestructures/a/ExerciseIn-Identifying-Adjective-Clauses.htm
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