Imagine

By: Miranda Mishaan

My head hurts. My phone is vibrating against my cold arm that Ive been working on for
months now. This summer was great but Im looking for so much more that was missing. A
person. A soulmate. Someone who is gonna make me feel on top of the world, someone who I
can have all to myself. My mom is yelling at me from downstairs, and although my head still
hurts, I have a mission to fulfill. I know what I want.
Cold handles on the opening school doors burns my warm hands. I walk about, looking,
thinking. Someone will love me. I love me. A beautiful girl walks by me. Scents of vanilla
penetrate my nose. Along with her beauty, came with a cold heart. The handles on the door is
the only thing cold I need in my life. I need something more than to fix someone else. I need
someone to- another girl. Light hair and gorgeous blue eyes. My best friends sister, not worth it.
I love him like a brother, someone I cant lose. Im giving up on this whole love thing. She can
find me.
The day is almost over, my neck feels like its burning up in flames and the only thing I
can think about is leaving. My heart starts racing out of nowhere. Behind me I hear such a
laugh, it made my neck stop hurting. A dark skinned girl, a true beauty which shined in the light
and the dark. Everything in my being forces me to talk to her. I stumble across my words and try
to say hi. She laughs. I want that laugh to be mine. I ask for her number. She politely asks for
my phone and types in 10 digits. She hands my phone back to me, oh crap. This is the part
where Im supposed to smile. I show her as many teeth as I can, even though they're covered in
braces.

I open the gates again the next day. There she is. Smiling with her friends who just make
her look even more happy. I want to be as happy as she, I want what she has. I want her. My
hands sweat, my heart longs. I grab her wrist, and take her outside into the woods, overlooking
the fog drifting away from the field. As I grab her face, I can feel her pulse through her cheeks.
This is how Im going to win he over. I plant my nervous lips against hers and I see so many
colors. I grab her hand and walk her to the next class that she's late for.
That night, my phone buzzes. Like it usually does. Except this time it was a different. It
was from someone who I had a true connection with, something that could not be replaced.
Her: So that kiss What?
Me: I know. Let me tell you, it all makes sense. I want you, and only you. I dont say this
often but will you be my girlfriend?
Her: Over text? Alright. But yes, I will. I like you.

My heart is trying to catch up with brain. Like a rainbow on a cloudy day. I dont know
why Im feeling like this, it doesnt actually make sense. I have one of the prettiest girls in school
as my girlfriend, what else can I not do?

Its now december. Shes still so effortlessly beautiful. I cant keep up with her. She wants
so much from me. Metaphorically speaking, I have $20 but she wants $50. She can no longer
be in my plan. I look into her eyes and let the air collapse into my lungs. I tear rolls down her
face, I know shes trying to be strong. Im sick to my stomach, but I forgot the feeling and focus
on what's best for me.
The same tear, from when I cut her off is always there. I see it in the way she smiles.
She cant fill her smile with the joy as when I first glanced at her. Her friends hold her as much
as they can remember but sometimes I wish it was me holding her. She is too much for me, but
I wish her the best. All I want is for her to feel as happy as before I met her Before I met him.

Blackness invades my eyelids. Reality fades in from a dream. My phone is buzzing,

against my weak arms which I cant think twice about. The tear from yesterday hardens in the
corners of my eyes. He loved me; I loved him. Im no longer good enough, he didnt want me
anymore. I want him, but I can't think about him wanting me. No time for that. Those things only
happen in dreams.