Exhale

By: Miranda Mishaan

Its 10 am. I am on the floor with my phone in my hand. My head is spinning and my
eyes wont focus. I breathe. I let the air fill my lungs and it tells me that Im okay. I lay my head
against my cold hands and rub my temples. I cant find my slippers, I think they are across the
room. The energy from my body has been swept out, I have lost all the energy from my body. I
am exhausted. I use the last drop of strength I have to go across the room and grab my
slippers. They give my little hugs and I smile.
I glance at my father who can see a light in my eyes. Battlescars hang under my eyes.
He looks at me with a half smile and waits for me to give a response. I give him the exact smile
back, and he looks down at his feet. He knows what happened. Being sad, from this moment he
knows Im okay. I love knowing people are content. Even though it might not seem it since my
mind is being overflowed with worries, the beautiful part of my mind is stricting saved for
keeping people happy. I love my dad and he tries his hardest to keep my happy, but there's
some problems in my mind even love cant fix.

Its now 5 AM and I hear the door creak open. I brush my feet across the carpet as I
open my bedroom door. I take slowly edge my feet the stairs to see my beautiful mother at the
front door. I almost lost you, I whisper to myself. She looks at me and shes confused. I want to
tell her that I thought she had got in a car accident and that I am so thankful she is alive now
and standing right in front of me, that I cannot see a day without her. My life wouldnt be my life
without her in it. I wouldnt have any strength at all and this battle would be so much harder to
fight. She is my rock; I want to tell her. Instead, I hug her and tell her I love her. My body wont
let me say anything more. My body does not know courage, they are not friends.
My tiredness picks up my body and tells it to go to bed. I brush my teeth, wash my face,
next thing I know I am in my bed staring at the ceiling. Its okay to feel like you are breaking, but
its not okay to do nothing about it. There is beauty in the sadness but your mind is clouded until
the war is over. I do truly believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but I can also
assure that you cannot do reach it alone. My mind is opening into a beautiful garden with tons of
flowers. Its almost as I am looking at another person and telling them to breathe. But to breathe
you need to inhale the strength, and exhale the hurt.