Kyle Alsop

Adam Padgett
English 102
9/13/16
How Technology Effects Communication
I am interested in how modern technology such as social media, texting, etc. is affecting
communication between people in todays society. To be more specific, I am going to focus on
the younger side of society where all they have ever known is technology. Technology is taking
away peoples ability to communicate with one another, as seen in recent years people are

Commented [AP1]: Is there a shorter phrase you could

use here? Like digital communication? or digital text
communication? I dont know. modern technology is
broad and the list is a bit cumbersome.
Commented [AP2]: Keep in mind technology is a very
broad term. Like i mentioned in the previous comment, use
a simple, but precise word or phrase.

becoming more distant, hostile, and are not grasping what real communication is and how to do
it. What makes me question the effects of it is everyone that I have ever been around drives me
up a wall with how they communicate; they type away on their phones and have to wait for a
response. Me if I have a question of anything of concern I just call whoever it is, I mean unless

Commented [AP3]: What is this word doing here? Is it

serving a purpose?

its someone I dont really know. Due to people always texting and typing of a keyboard to
communicate it makes them more awkward when they have to sit down face to face and actually

Commented [AP4]: Choose a different preposition. The

repetition is odd and I feel like about or on might be
better options.

for once have a REAL conversation with someone.

Commented [AP5]: Check a grammar handbook on the

difference between its/its

In an article from an undergrad student at Elon university who conducted a survey to see

Commented [AP6]: What is a real conversation? what

does that mean? As opposed to what?

if technology effects face to face communication. The survey consisted of 11 questions related to
all aspects of technology usage, sampling 100 random students from the University of Elon. Her
findings were that technology does indeed negatively affect face to face communication, with
people becoming more reliant on communicated with people through technology they neglect to
engage personally, uninhibited by phones and devices, even when actually in the presence of
others. Also many felt that the quality of face to face conversations has dropped a large amount
when in the presence of technology. This study proves to some extent that technology absolutely

Commented [AP7]: This article is really interesting. Make

sure to consider the limitations of a source written by a
student. You want to make sure your sources have some
kind of authority or stronger credibility. Although for the
purposes of this proposal, the source is okay.

effects the way people communicate. Instead of engaging in communication people turn to their

Commented [AP8]: Check a grammar handbook on the

difference between affect and effect.

phones or computers, they remove themselves from conversations because they are so wrapped
up with technology. Although some that are wrapped up in technology may be texting, that isnt
REAL communication! I feel as if this author of the article has bias towards the side Im leaning
towards, which is that technology is indeed negatively effecting the way people communicate.
Her article was to inform and show her findings of her research, but I also think it was to
persuade the reader as well to see that technology really is effecting communication. If
technology use goes unchecked, then peoples communication skills will continue to degrade
which poses risk for people later in life.

Commented [AP9]: Okay, so Im getting that this is the

exigency that is driving your interest. I really like what you
are saying here. Are you assuming that this kind of
communication is bad? Id be interested in reading some
specific on why this modern kind of communication is not so
great. In other words, what are we losing?
Commented [AP10]: Dont conflate bias with having a
point of view. Bias is usually considered an unfair opinion of
something. So, if one of the teachers students is the
teachers son or daughter, then that teacher would have a
particular bias. Having that said, we all have our various
biases.

Commented [AP11]: Great! I like this kind of assertion

here.

Communicating through technology doesnt allow people to pick up on visual ques as a

news post from a year ago that interviewed teens and their parents about how much they are on
their phones and the effect of it. A thing I found very interesting is something psychologist Erin

Commented [AP12]: Try to avoid using this word when

possible. It is unspecific and vague.

Waltz she brought up the point that when teens text they cannot read facial expressions or hear
pauses when speaking. She says without understanding the visual ques it will affect teens later in
life communicating with family, friends, and even in the work place. With young people not
comprehending and picking up on visual ques this is going to affect them later in life, they will
not be as productive in their jobs; and they will not be able to sit down when their older and
restrain themselves from looking at something related to technology related, which the younger
generation will pick up on, causinges a forever worsening problem. I do not believe the news
channel was bias towards the topic, they were neutral they were just presenting a topic of
discussion for views and to entertain their viewers. Technology is not only effecting peoples
ability to quick up on visual ques, but it is also making them more hostile.

Commented [AP13]: Great, this is really interesting here

as well.

Technology allows for quick and easy communication which benefits in a situation such
as an emergency, but it also allows for people to have faceless communication which is proven
to encourage hostility and exclusionary behavior. An article states that 43% of kids say they have

Commented [AP14]: Could this ever be advantageous? Is

this always a bad thing?

suffered online bullying, where 25% of them say it was more than one occasion. This is because
it is so easy to not feel anything when typing away hiding behind a keyboard, a lot of people now
a days have hard uncomfortable conversations through text or social media. This degrades the
ability for people to feel or have compassion towards anyone. With people not feeling anything
when they send a text or communicate through technology, it is problematic. They do not have to

Commented [AP15]: Why?

look in someones eyes and say something cruel or talk about a sensitive topic. With people not

Commented [AP16]: Wouldnt this make difficult, but

necessary, conversations easier?

having to have a feeling of guilt, etc. when they say something over technology it allows, and
will continue to allow younger people to become more hostile and inconsiderate for peoples
feelings. The author of this article was definitely biased, they also made several other points to
why technology is negatively effecting people, the author wasnt so much trying to persuade the
reader but inform and allow the reader to form their own opinion.
Some possible lines of inquiry could be:; Is communicating through technology making
people more hostile and angry? Is technology making people become more isolated from their
friends and family, and does this make them feel alone/isolated from society? Does
communicating through technology truly effect peoples ability to have face to face
conversations? I feel as if my questions are all researchable, I think this because I know for a fact
that there have been multiple studies on this and from these studies there are statistics and mass
amounts of research. My questions also are specific, once I find studies and articles related to my
question it will be answered. I know that I wont run into problems with finding good research.
Some agreements and disagreements I have found throughout my research is for one, that yes, it

Commented [AP17]: This is all terrific inquiry.

is proven that social media and texting is likely to take away from our generations ability to
communicate good face to face. But it is also allowed for much more communication, your
allowed to communicate to people halfway around the world at any time of the day for however
long, which is a huge accomplishment. The sources that I found really didnt have different
perspectives as me, all three3 sources I found all had correlation to my opinion of the topic.
Which maybe in order for me to really understand the entire situation I should read articles that
are against my opinion. I think once I understand the for and against argument of my question I
will fully be able to write on this topic, which I think Im very close.
Kyle,
There is a lot going on here that is working super well. You clearly are engaged in your topic and
have an investment is answering your inquiry. You do a really great job discussing your sources
and asserting necessary claims. As you progress and work toward a more specific thesis, try to
narrow down your focus. There are discussions of online bullying and then generally discussions
of how we communicate. One could easily write a book on this topic (and people have). So,
when you write a paper on it, try to make it as focused as you can. Also, look into your grammar
usage. Lots of grammar-level mistakes here. Ive highlighted a few, but the most important two
concerns for you to think about for now would be: comma usage and affect vs effect. Really
make sure to proof read.

Work Cited
Http://www.facebook.com/fox43news. "How Technology Is Affecting Kids Socially and Academically."
WPMT FOX43. N.p., 03 Feb. 2015. Web. 21 Sept. 2016.
Kazmeyer, By Milton. "Negative Effects of Technology on Communication | Techwalla.com." Techwalla.
N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Sept. 2016.

https://www.elon.edu/docs/eweb/academics/communications/research/vol6no1/02DragoEJSpring15.pdf
http://fox43.com/2015/02/03/how-technology-is-affecting-kids-socially-and-academically/
https://www.techwalla.com/articles/negative-effects-of-technology-on-communication