Considering, I’m not one of few people like me.

I think I need to tell my story, something that everyone

doesn’t understand from an out stander’s point of view. Sometimes, you only ever understand it when
you’re going through it. When you’re actually like me.

I was born in 1994, so I’m still really young. But I know what I want, and who I am. When I was born, my
parents were together. They were happy, and so was I. Even though I couldn’t talk, could barely walk. I
felt good. Five years I was an only child with my parents, it felt like heaven. But then. After those five
years, my brother came along. And he stole my parents from me. The year before Ben was born, my
parents got married. And Ben, came along the next year. Everyday, it was all about him. I was jealous,
and angry that he took my happiness from me. I grew up being around boys, into boy things, dressing in
boy clothes. And I felt like a boy. My parents ended up splitting, and it killed me inside. I blame myself,
because I wasn’t who they wanted me to be. I lived with my Mum for several years, and being with her
didn’t change who I was. I still associated with the boys at school, they were all my friends. I never wore
my proper uniform, which was a skirt. I’d always be seen in shorts. I felt comfortable wearing them, they
described who I was. All the boys knew I hated acting and dressing like a girl, and they accepted me.
Guys are so much easier to get along with than girls. They aren’t so judgmental. But there was one day,
where Dad came and he took Ben and me from our mother. He took us far away from her, because he
thought that’s what was right for us. Dad was always a good bloke, always caring about others. And very
protective of my brother and I.

So, Dad took us to his little apartment close to the city. I still went to the same school. And back when I
first started Primary, I’d been to two different schools. None of which took offence to why I was so boy-
ish. I got down and dirty, I loved all those things every boy loves. I didn’t look at myself in the mirror and
think I was a girl. I would look at myself and say I was a boy. Because that’s who I felt I was inside. I
hated doing my hair, and I never wore make-up. It felt like I was covering up who I really was. Like a
mask, and that made me so upset. My Dad always used to say that I was just a Tom-boy. I mean, back
when I was younger I’d never heard of Transgender. So I thought that’s who I was. All through Primary
at Our Lady of the Assumption, I’d get into trouble for wearing shorts. It made me angry, because I
thought they accepted me. But they didn’t. They didn’t know who I was, or why I was dressing like a boy
all the time. I never fancied boys in that way, to me they are like brothers. All of them. I only ever looked
at girls in that way. And I knew there was something different about me. But I had no one to talk to
about it. I was afraid to go to my Dad, and I hardly ever spoke to my Mum. Dad actually had sent my
Mum to rehab, and she played that like a game. She ended up coming out a few months later with a
new boyfriend. His name is Gehard. He’s still with my Mum now. With two kids of their own.

I graduated from Primary nicely, with boy and girl friends who didn’t know so much about me. But knew
enough to accept me. My principal that year, Mrs. Vuleta was my favourite lady. And I had a photo
taken with her. On Graduation night, she told me that I’m a great person and I should never put myself
down for who I am, and don’t let others do it for you. She really saw me going somewhere in my future.
I thanked her so much, and looking back at that night. What she said is really coming true. She left that
year. And moved onto running a country school.
Now, I was finished Primary and it was time for High School. Something I was freaked about. I felt so
grown up, and I was afraid that because everyone else was grown up too. They wouldn’t like me. I’ve
always been self-conscious of myself. And that had me worried about starting at High. My first school
was Kelvin Grove. I was there for a year and a half. And everyone knew who I was by the time I left. My
friends accepted me, but then there were others who thought I was a freak. I still get comments like that
to this day, but I don’t let that put me down. When I got into High, I started finding out about
Transgender people. People who thought they were a different sex on the inside than what was showing
on the outside. And I really thought that sounded a lot like me. But I wasn’t jumping through hoops
about it. While I was at KG, I fell in love with a girl named Karlie. We got together for about six months.
And that was great. Not only was she my girlfriend, she was my best friend. The year I left KG, I was
suspended for harassing a teacher. And Dad couldn’t have me going back there. He sent me to Cairns
where my Mum was. With Gehard and their first child. Daisy, who is 2 now. 3 on the 25 th of July. The
same day as my Dad’s birthday. I was with Mum for two weeks, and then went back to Dad. He thought
it was a good break. And while I was away, Karlie and I broke up. She’d gotten her friend to call me while
I was in Cairns to break up with me. I balled my eyes out for hours. I knew I was gay, but being
Transgender never crossed my mind. When I left KG, I went to Kedron. And what sucked most, I had to
wear a dress. A grey one. And I felt exposed, like I was standing naked in front of everyone. It felt like
people saw the outside of me, and not the inside. I couldn’t hide, I was afraid of what people would see
in me. My first day, was better than I thought. Some girls had got me into their group, but I still didn’t
feel right. When I walked around at lunch, it felt like I had peering eyes on me everywhere I went. I saw
the boys playing and being boys and I just wanted to race down and join them. But here? I couldn’t do
that. I would look like I lost my mind. This one day, I’d met a girl called Abby. She was awesome. Her and
I got along so well. And she…was different too. She told me about being Transgender. She told me
everything. And I knew I was the same. She took me down the path I’m where I am now. Her preferred
name is James. I only ever called her that when we went to the shops together and on MSN. When I got
myself sorted, I got the same uniform as James. A white blouse and shorts. I felt better. Like finally
someone had put a towel or gown on me. No one could see my bare body. James and I became best
friends, and I knew I could be like him sometime soon. He told me about his girlfriend, Dominique. Who
when I met, I actually fell in love with. And I’m still in love with her now. They broke up and aren’t
getting back together. James helped me open my eyes. Eventually, I wasn’t Ashleigh. I was Jye. And I still
am to this day. Dominique knows me as Jye and she is my best friend in the world. Even though she lives
in Canada. She herself knows me more than anyone else. My parents don’t know me anymore. No one.
Dad knows I’m Trans, and he’s trying really hard to accept that. I know it’s hard for him, but he makes
me feel guilty for feeling like I do. I didn’t tell him who I was, when I went to Mum’s, he cleaned my
room and found a letter I’d written a while ago. And it came to a shock, but in a way he knew I was
something like that. He says when he looks back at everything, that it all fits together. It’s great that my
Dad accepts me, and still loves me no matter who I am. He’s always asking if I will become his son, and if
he needs to call me Jye. I nodded at that, but I still don’t want him to rush into this. Losing his only
daughter is hard enough. Seriously. I came out to Dad, and he knows it. I didn’t tell my Mum, Dad did. I
couldn’t tell her. She doesn’t even accept that I like girls, so I knew she would never accept that I would
take it to another level and want to be a boy. And so I just want to say. “I’m sorry Mum. But I won’t be
who you want me to be. I’m Jye, and it will stay like that for the rest of my life.”
To my Dad. “Thank you for being so supportive of this. I know it’s hard, but we will get through this
together. I love you so much.”

For over eight months, I was living with Mum. And I went to a school named Benalla College. Mum lives
in Benalla, a small country town in Victoria. When I went to that school, it was great because I didn’t
have to wear a dress, or a skirt or anything I didn’t want to wear. I wore a blue polo shirt and navy
shorts. I felt great. So many people know I’m Trans, and they accepted me at that school. I belonged.
I’ve never felt so good at a school before I went to BC. But. Eventually, I got caught up in the wrong
crowd. I smoked, I drank, I stole, I lied, I skipped school. All those things. And I thought they were cool,
normal. Until one day, the Police caught me. Took me in the Divvy Van and off to the station. Worst day
of my life, they picked me and my friend John up from school. So I had eyes on me, and from that day.. I
lost the respect I’d gained over seven months. People looked at me as thief, shoplifter. Whenever things
were stolen, they’d come to me asking if I knew anything about it. I wasn’t “cool” anymore. No matter
how hard I tried to be, I kept getting slapped across the face every time. Eventually, things couldn’t stay
that way. Mum was sick of me, and didn’t want me to live with her. She abused me, and Dad found out
about it. He didn’t want me around that stuff, especially when Mum was doing drugs. Dad knew that
too, because I told him. I’m not completely dumb; I can smell it all over Mum and in the house. Mum
never tried to talk to me about my being Trans. Very rarely she would bring up the topic of just being
gay, and it made me feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t right to talk about me like that, because that isn’t
who I am. I’m so sick of people saying this is a phase, but I know who I am. I’m Trans, and my name is
Jye. No one, will take the inside of me; out of me.

And so. That is my story.