TIIE SIGN OF TIIE FOOL

Copyright, 1971, by John S. Simon

An Ace Book. All Rights Reserved.

Cover painting by Gene Szafran.

Printed in U.S.A.

San Francisco's North Beach late at night, on one of

those foggy, damp November days : on Grant Street, outside the Coffee Gallery, I unchained my chopper,
wrapped the chain around myself to form , a belt and
locked it in place. Straddling the bike, I reached down
to the distributor and advanced the spark. She should
slllrt on the third kick, hopefully. With the switch off,
I l~<tve her a quarter throttle and full choke. I kicked her
nvt'r once and felt the compression wasn't quite up to
p i ll', hut on the second kick a small jet ofraw gas coughed
n11! of the carburetor, telling me she was primed . and
11 ,u ly. Tuming my toggle switch on and releasing the
1 l1nkc I threw her over once more, real hard. A flam e
l111l nul of the carburetor as she backfired and rumbled
'" ld1 . Beaching down, I retarded the spark on the disto lin II o1 nncl pulled up my gloves a bit.
Ju.t .-. lnrt ing my machine was a ritual that was quite
1" 1 "11 . d 11 hut still satisfying. I felt together somehow
j, 11 Ill\' cltopper was running smoothly.
1111 11 1' pn li<ntly for the bike to warm up, I began
1, 11 I I II I I I Y fnmiliar noises and vibrations. To know
11 111"!"" vc l is to know every oil leak, paint scratch
I ""''' II prod n s. Like fingerprints they may look
I 1 !1111 llun arc no two motorcycles exactly alike.
5

THE SIGN OF THE FOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

It takes a period of time to get to know your bike, her

likes and dislikes for a certain gasoline or oil. Special
additives act like vitamins on her system.
Tonight my bike made me uneasy; something was
wrong. After lighting a smoke, I gave her a once-over
inspection. Among a few loose bolts here and there, I
also discovered my license plate was dangling by a wire.
I'd paid for my '65 tags and plate that afternoon and only
lu tcl limo to attach it with some bailing wire which I now
l w i.~ lncl n few extra times to hold until I got home.
Wlwn I switched on my headlight I saw only a sickly ornn ~o glow that was perhaps ten candle power. At
th o snmo time, the engine went dead. All the glory and
togcthem ess drifted out of me as her final vibrations
echoed up the street. I'd just put a new battery in the
week before but it .wasn't difficult to diagnose the trouble as a bad generator.
Stomping my cigarette out and cursing under my
breath, I decided to quit wasting time and split for the
pad without lights. Just then I heard another Harley
roaring up Grant Street. I couldn't make out what club
he belonged to since he was by himself. He eased up
and stopped in front of me.
Yelling over his engine noise, he said, "What's the
matter? Won't start?"
"Generator," I said. "I'll make it back to my pad without lights."
"There's a lot of heat out tonight; if you don't
the back streets, your machine just might make it to
police garage instead," he said, looking over his
der.
Switching off his engine, the rider backed his
parallel to mine and threw it over on its side stand.
6

"You belong to a club?" I asked.

"I only belong to myself. Do I have to belong,
thing?"
"Man, what are you, paranoid?" I said.
''I'm not paranoid, I'm Richie, Motorcycle Richie, and
I stopped to see if I could help."
"You wouldn't have any hog parts for trade, would ya?"
I asked.
----'~ ,.
Going on at some length, Richie told me about his 1
garage full of parts. While he was rapping, I began to
take this character in. His shoulder length hair was so
1:rcasy I couldn't tell if it was naturally black or not. It
was matted and snarled from a few thousand miles of
wind. His steel gray eyes cut through me like a hot
l,llft cuts butter. They weren't hostile, j:ust penetrating, a
lillie chilling. I shifted my attention to his bike. I could
11 . 11 ally judge a guy by the kind of bike he rode and its
11lllllilion. Richie's bike was a nightmare. It had been
I' 111 "" next to me for only a minute and a pool of oil
1 l u~ l forming under. it. The whole bike just seethed
ll 11 "''PJH'd oil. The wiring was a tangled mess of spa' ' Ill l11 s (( ad of a switch, he simply twisted the hot
' ' ol 111 colly to the battery. His mufflers were a couple
I
lll odc lu d, dented pipes held to the frame with
drifted back to what Richie was
fair idea now of where his head
1 1 '''I 'll 1
:roovy but in a weird sort of way. ~
1, '' .!11 \'I I !llink, you want to buy a generator?
' " ' " " 11 '0:1 and I'll let it go for fifteen bucks,"

'"' 11l lou slowly

tl "1111 I hnd a

Maybe I've got something for

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

"If you've got a springer front end, I'll go straight

across. "
"You just made yourself a deal," I said, "because I've
got a chrome set just collecting dust over at my place."
A springer is an old style fork that holds the front
wJwcl and also acts like a shock absorber. Today, springors aro vo1y much in demand for show, but they aren't
ns good handling as the modern hydraulic forks.
After a time we managed to get our bikes started.
With no lights, I was to follow Richie over to his garage
and make the swap. I thought we were going to take
the back streets but for some insane reason Richie was
heading for the top of Nob Hill. I gave my bike a little
gas to pull alongside and tell him I wanted a le~s conspicuous route, but as soon as he saw I was overtaking
him he took it as a challenge. Richie's bike shrieked as
he knocked it down a gear and grabbed a handful of
throttle. By this time we were going straight uphill at
about a forty-five . degree angle. Every intersection was
flat, so when our speecls approached sixty miles an hour
our bikes were jumping the intersections: Richie
back at me with an expression of pure joy. At the top
Nob Hill we behaved ourselves crossing the cable
tracks. Just then, however, a squad car passed from
other direction.
"Hey, turn on those lights!" the cop yelled.
I snapped them on, and my engine died. Quickly
turned my lights off. The engine kicked in once
since I was still rolling.
"Hey wise guy, I said turn 'em on!" he screamed,
began making a U-turn.
"Fuck this, let's get out of here," Richie yelled,
ing the street with a coat of rubber.

When I heard the siren I remembered supper was

getting cold and grabbing a handful, I kicked into second, painting a strip nex.t to the one Richie'd left. Quickly reaching seventy-five to eighty miles an hour, I flew
after his bike which had disappeared down the hill. The
first block vanished before I realized the next intersection had a red light staring me in the face. I was twothirds of a block away as Richie flew across the light.
The startled motorists froze when they heard my bike
screaming toward them and Richie looked back, knowing I couldn't stop. If a car started acfoss, Richie wouldn't
have to worry about the springers, my whole bike would
lu1his in bits and pieces.
.
I met the intersection doing ninety. When I hit the
lf111 of the crosswalk my body went five G's. Clearing
llu intersection, my bike left the ground and as the
IIIII continued down I arched outward, making contact
II I. the pavement halfway down the next block. In
"'" closire to stop I'd locked my brakes while still air1" llllfl, so when I hit, the bike laid a black streak to the
,., I I'III"Uer, just barely stopping for the light.
I Jllll d next to Richie; he was hysterical with laugh1 \ looked around and I'll be damned if there was
'I' In sight. Hanging a right, we took Pine Street and
I. ol lownrds the Haight-Ashbury district. An interestlit 111: ubout Pine Street is that it's one way and the
l1l '" ull synchronized, making it possible to make
nul nt thirty, sixty, ninety or a hundred and
d, (li'IICling what you're stoned on. With a little
1 lin lu)~tring in our systems, we di9n't meditate
11l I ,., ru1d cranked it on, taking the lights at
II I luacln't been for the beer in North Beach
l1 ,J lanudllght we would've gone for a hundred

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

It takes a period of time to get to lmow your bike, her

likes and dislikes for a certain gasoline or oil. Special
additives act like vitamins on her system.
Tonight my bike made me uneasy; something was
wrong. After lighting a smoke, I gave her a once-over
inspection. Among a few loose bolts here and there, I
also discovered my license plate was dangling by a wire.
I'd paid for my '65 tags and plate that afternoon and only
had time to attach it with some bailing wire which I now
twisted a few extra times to hold until I got home.
When I switched on my headlight I saw only a sickly orange glow that was perhaps ten candle power. At
the same time, the engine went dead. All the glory and
togetherness drifted out of me as her final vibrations
echoed up the street. I'd just put a new battery in the
week before but it .~wasn't difficult to diagnose the trouble as a bad generator.
Stomping my cigarette out and cursing under my
breath, I decided to quit wasting time and split for the
pad without lights. Just then I heard another H arley
roaring up Grant Street. I couldn't make out what club
he belonged to since he was by himself. He eased up
and stopped in front of me.
Yelling over his engine noise, he said, "What's the
matter? Won't start?"
"Generator," I said. "I'll make it back to my pad without lights."
"There's a lot of heat out tonight; if you don't tak
the back streets, your machine just might make it to
police garage instead," he said, looking over his
der.
Switching off his engine, the rider backed his
parallel to mine and threw it over on its side stand.
6

"You belong to a club?" I asked.

"I only belong to myself. Do I have to belong to something?"
"Man, what are you, paranoid?" I said.
''I'm not paranoid, I'm Richie, Motorcycle Richie, and
I stopped to see if I could help."
"You wouldn't have any hog parts for trade, would ya?"
I asked.
_
__.,_,
Going on at some length, Richie told me about his
garage full of parts. While he was rapping, I began to
take this character in. His shoulder length hair was so
greasy I couldn't tell if it was naturally black or not. It
was matted and snarled from a few thousand miles of
wi nd. His steel gray eyes cut through me like a hot
1. 11 I fc cuts butter. They weren't hostile, just penetrating, a
lilll ll chilling. I shifted my attention to his bike. I could
11'.11111ly judge a guy by the kind of bike he rode and its
1 t~ nd i li on. Richie's bike was a nightmare. It had been
I' 11 l 1'' I next to me for only a minute and a pool of oil
11 lust forming under~ it. The whole bike just seethed
11ol ol1 ippcd oil. The wiring was a tangled mess of spaIll Ill Instead of a switch, he simply twisted the hot
111 ol lrn d Iy to the battery. His mufflers were a couple
I 111 nn l!'fwd, dented pipes held to the frame with
I

I ''" W I I'O,

1ll 111 l lon slowly drifted back to what Richie was

11 1h1 .duu il . I had a fair idea now of where his head
II 1 1 11 1t d groovy but in a weird sort of way. ~1, If cl11 yn think, you want to buy a generator?
"' 11111 n il 11 'CJ:3 and I'll let it go for fifteen bucks,"

Ill d ""
I

'' r d 1 11 look. Maybe I've got something for

" ' ' I II I Iiiii,

THE SIGN OF THE FOOl

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

"If you've got a springer front end, I'll go straight

across."
"You just made yourself a deal," I said, "because I've
got a chrome set just collecting dust over at my place."
A springer is an old style fork that holds the front
wheel and also acts like a shock absorber. Today, springers are very much in demand for show, but they aren't
as good handling as the modern hydraulic forks.
Mter a time we managed to get our bikes started.
With no lights, I was to follow Richie over to his garage
and make the swap. I thought we were going to take
the back streets but for some insane reason Richie was
heading for the top of Nob Hill. I gave my bike a little
gas to pull alongside and tell him I wanted a less conspicuous route, but as soon as he saw I was overtaking
him he took it as a challenge. Richie's bike shrieked as
he knocked it down a gear and grabbed a handful of
throttle. By this time we were going straight uphill at
about a forty-five . degree angle. Every intersection was
flat, so when our speeds approached sixty miles an
our bikes were jumping the intersections: Richie
back at me with an expression of pure joy. At the top
Nob Hill we behaved ourselves crossing the cable
tracks. Just then, however, a squad car passed from
other direction.
"Hey, turn on those lights!" the cop yelled.
I snapped them on, and my engine died. Quickly
turned my lights off. The engine kicked in once
since I was still rolling.
"Hey wise guy, I said turn 'em on!" he screamed,
began making aU-turn.
"Fuck this, let's get out of here," Richie yelled,
ing the street with a coat of rubber.

When I heard the siren I remembered supper was

getting colct and grabbing a handful, I kicked into second, painting a strip nex.t to the one Richie'd left. Quickly reaching seventy-five to eighty miles an hour, I flew
after his bike which had disappeared down the hill. The
first block vanished before I realized the next intersection, had a red light staring me in the face. I was twothirds of a block away as Richie flew across the light.
The startled motorists froze when they heard my bike
screaming toward them and Richie looked back, knowing I couldn't stop. If a car started across, Richie wouldn't
have to worry about the springers, my whole bike would
bo his in bits and pieces.
I met the intersection doing ninety. When I hit the
lint of the crosswalk my body went five G's. Clearing
llu intersection, my bike left the ground and as the
h II continued down I arched outward, making contact
111 the pavement halfway down the next block. In
11 v d sire to stop I'd locked my brakes while still air1"'"11 , so when I hit, the bike laid a black streak to the
I I 'nmer, just barely stopping for the light.
I pulled next to Richie; he was hysterical with laugh1 1 W looked around and I'll be danmed if there was
p 11 sight. Hanging a right, we took Pine Street and
1 I cl Inwards the Haight-Ashbury district. An interestit. g nbout Pine Street is that it's one way and the
I I "' nll synchronized, making it possible to make
l' ll td at thirty, sixty, ninety or a hundred and
II
dcplrtdin g what you're stoned on. With a little
ol 111 l ln)~<'t"ing in our systems, we didn't meditate
11 ll 1'1 nnd cranked it on, taking . the lights at
I 11 lul!ln't been for the beer in North Beach
1ol 111ncllight we would've gone for a hundred

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

and twenty, but not wanting to blow it we took it easy.

Before long we pulled up to a garage on Frederick
Street, which is four blocks from Haight. We cut our
engines and Richie hollered through the garage door,
"Chuck, let me in, it's Riehl" He glanced at me. "Hey
John, you got a cigarette?"
The door swung open and as we lit up Rich introduced me to his partner Chuck. Then we wheeled our
bikes inside. Chuck asked me for . a smoke and I told
him to share Richie's, but Richie told us not to worry
as he dragged out loose nuts, bolts, bits of wire and
garbage from his pockets. Finally he pulled out a lid of
grass and said it was better to leave the trading until
later. After all, how could we think straight unless we
were a bit twisted?
Rich rolled a couple of joints while I gazed around the .
garage. I'd never before seen such a gold mine in hot
parts. Especially for two guys who weren't in a club. It
looked like they did a good parts business. Rigid Harley fram es lined the walls and in one corner I counted
ten engines, all of them having the left cases missing
where the engine numbers were stamped. Storage boxes
were strewn all around; each box had many duplicates of
a particular part. One had transmissions, another gas
tanks, another generators, and they just kept going all
over the fuckin' place.
The joint had passed through my hands three or
times. Dynamite weed. I noticed Richie had . a
wheezing cough which the smoke seemed to make
worse. I asked him about it, joking that maybe the
was too strong for him, but he didn't think much of
joke and told me he was an asthmatic and a chain
er on top of it. I imagined his lungs like the inside of

coal mine. Then the image faded as my eyes focused on

a table covered with test tubes, beakers, Bunsen burners
and several gallon-sized containers obViously filled with
chemicals, their labels having exotic sounding names like
methane hydrochloride and bromide dehydroxide.
l asked Richie, "What the hell is this, an acid factory?,..
Richie seemed eager to tell me the story behind the
lab setup, but Chuck interrupted, pointing out that they
were in possession of a methadrine laboratory (speed
factory). Holding up a pound bag of fine crystalline
powder, he offered to sell it for eight hundred dollars. A
fnntastically good price. However, I told them speed
vnsn't my bag and continued to ask them where they'd
puk d up the factory.
.
llichie described how these speed freaks in Berkeley
m1nufactured a11d sold the stuff in huge quantities. A
1 .tal factory produces large amounts of putrid gases
1 1 I1yproduct which in turn draw suspicion and police
'" 1111 ln.b. A small operation can often be smelled as
I 1 1 l wo blocks away. To get around this problem, the
I 1l l1 y laboratory was set up in a house which just
I II" 1ud to be wedged between two commercial che~1 ""1pnnies. One was a paint factory and the other
I pl. I' tic cements.
I l1 'cl sot up a deal in a coffee house with one of
t.ol frouks, fronted twelve hundred dollars to him
I I
., r you're not back here with the dope a half
h 111 nnw, someone's gonna die."
1 1 .1 I 1 xdted, brother, I wouldn't burn ya. It's
111
" llglon," he answered.
d11' Wlu1l religion's that?"
nl I lu grinned.
for jokes. Just remember what I said.

10

11

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

I never forget a face and I travel a lot. If you burn me,

I'll find ya. Maybe it'll be L.A., maybe New York, but
Til run into ya for sure," Richie said in a curt tone.
Two hours later the speed freak still hadn't come back.
Richie muttered to himself, "It's a beat. Those motherfuckers burned me. I know one Methodist who's going to learn real religion when I catch up to him!"
What the speed freaks didn't know was that Richie
knf'w where they lived. Otherwise he wouldn't have
fron tocl them the bread in the first place.
That same night Rich and Chuck went over to pay
llu lr n s plcts and administer last rites. Parking a panel
lr11 ck ntxt to th e front door, Chuck and Richie knocked.
W lwu lhc door was answered the gtiy found himself
looking into the muzzle of a sawed-off shotgun. It didn't
take long to load the truck, taking their lab, dope, money and the whole works. Chuck mentioned how, just
before leaving, he'd shot the place up, wiping out
stereo, refrigerator, TV and everything else. All in fun,
of course.
By this time I was smashed. Chuck hid the
and grass outside and while I was busily going uuuuJ!..ll
their generator parts, Richie found one in particular.
convinced of his claims that this generator was the
. I put it on my bike to see just how good it really
He objected since he still hadn't seen my springers,
I convinced him I was doing this so I could make
to my garage where he'd be able to look over the
If he didn't like them I'd take the generator off at
pad and he could take it back. At least I'd get
with some lights, providing of course he wasn't
shitting about the generator.
Rich agreed to this and we were soon riding

Haight Street. My lights were bright and I was high.

With Richie following me, I hung a left on Broderick
Street, went a block to Page ,and pulled into my driveway.
Directly across the street stood a notorious Victorian
house known throughout the Hashbury as the Crystal
Palace, a house that to this day .brings to mind methadrine, speed freaks and generally weird scenes.
I opened my garage door and we pushed inside. I
showed Richie the springers and we were both satisfied with the trade. However, he didn't stop right there;
Ir is eyes riveted on a chrome oil tank. He couldn't hold
luwk his enthusiasm for this little gem and he went on
I sling numerous parts that he'd trade for it. I finally
uwlo a deal for two ounces of grass and a rear fender.
My partner Frank came down whil~ we were trading
pul mpping about dope and chicks. Frank didn't have
11 tiling in common with me except motorcycles. He
I ln'l smoke dope _or cigarettes, hated anything that
1 "I st erile clean and his only vice was balling teenyIll" r : :md drinking beer. As a matter of fact, Frank
I 1 VOJ'Y empty Budwieser can and had them lining
lnclow and door sill in the house. He even had
t~lll'l~nr eagle tattooed on his arm. He was the type
H
lro wouldn't let you in his new truck unless
111! wore spotless, and after using one of his tools
1 d '" polish it carefully and file it alphabetically
,., .. 1 dwsl. On the other hand, if a chick balled
In 1 row ( pulling a train), Frank would be
""' l111isl r by cleaning her up, and I don't mean

12

IIIII

!111

IVIIIIW.

111

irnmcdiate dislike to Richie, who was

lo ''' His levis were absolutely slick with

13

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

grease and oil and were like shiny black leather with
the pockets .and crotch rotted out. Rich bragged they'd
never been washed since he'd bought them the year
before. He wore clean levis underneath. The outside
pair, called originals, were for show, and every self-respecting outlaw was proud of them. I had to concede
they were groovier than mine as my pair weren't quite
ripe yet. Mine were only four months old and couldn't
even stand up by themselves. Given time, I'd be as
well dressed as anyone else.
Richie picked up the chrome oil tank and asked, "Do
you want to come back to my pad or let your fender
and grass wait until tomorrow?"
Not being the trusting type, I planned my return
within the hour.
We cranked over our bikes and jammed back to Richie's garage. Gliding towards his pad we saw a squad car
in the driveway. This really unnerved us, so we parked
np tlw block to watch and wait. Finally it left, but we
couldn't sce .if they had Chuck or not. Wasting no time,
wo pulled into the driveway. Chuck let us in, hollering for us to help him move the factory into the
truck, and began shifting the chemicals and beakers
the garage. In his haste, Chuck dropped a test tube,
Richie was frantically pumping information from him,
Chuck said that after Richie and I'd split, a cop
pulled up and demanded to come in. Churck put
light resistance and asked the cops for a search
they said they didn't need one and if he didn't
the door someone was going to get hurt. Chuck
cided he'd rather be alive than legal so he let them
It wasn't the first time the heat had paid them a
14

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

looking for hot bikes and dope. It was thretthere wasn't anything else for them to do anyway.
The two rookies looked the engines over but ~e
helpless, since the left cases were buried. Then one cop
spotted the laboratory equipment.
"What's all this stuff?" he asked.
"Oh, that's my laboratory for making nitro-methane, a
special -racing fuel I use at the drag strip," said Chuck,
quite reassuringly.
He explained it was all "off the shelf" chemicals and
very legal. 'You don't really think I'd keep anything iii
here that .w ould get me busted, do you?" he said.
Half convinced, the cops idly wrote down the names
of the chemicals and left. That's when Richie and I
p11ll cd up.
The last of the factory was crammed into the truck
11 11 1 I followed Richie as he drove it around the corner
f,. pnrk it. We then doubled up on my bike and drove
I '' I to his garage. A last minute cleanup produced a
I
' naches of weed and a loaded pistol, which were
1 l fy hidden outside. Leaving the garage door open
, ' 11 1 ns nonchalant as possible, we worked halfheart11 11 11 our bikes, awaiting the inevitable.
-~ - :\
''"111 twenty minutes flew by, then the wa:chdog~ \
11 I d t city descended upon us from two different
'"" . The squad cars screeched up the driveway
' ' " 1 I rippy red dome lights flashing everyone out.
"' ' , l dny new car jumped the pride of the SFPD's
)II II I , the one and only Officer Brusco. The elite
I 1 11 11 11 , that was his ego trip.
1 l l 1 11 ~ c o was the most feared cop in the Haight11 , wns noted for kicking in six doors a night
pl1tt< lid record for arrests but a miserable
15

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

grease and oil and were like shiny black leather with
the pockets and crotch rotted out. Rich bragged they'd
never been washed since he'd bought them the year
before. He wore clean levis underneath. The outside
pair, called originals, were for show, and every self-reSp('cting outlaw was proud of them. I had to concede
they were groovier than mine as my pair weren't quite
ripe yet. Mine were only four months old and couldn't
even stand up by themselves. Given time, I'd be as
well dressed as anyone else.
Richie picked up the chrome oil tank and asked, "Do
you want to come back to my pad or let your fender
and grass wait until tomorrow?"
Not being the trusting type, I planned my return
within the hour.
We cranked over our bikes and jammed back to Richie's garage. Gliding towards his pad we saw a squad car
in the driveway. This really unnerved us, so we parked
up the block to watch and wait. Finally it left, but we
conldn't see if they had Chuck or not. Wasting no time,
we pulled into the driveway. Chuck let us in, hollering for us to help him move the factory into the panel
truck, and began shifting the chemicals and beakers
the garage. In his haste, Chuck dropped a test tube.
Richie was frantically pumping information from him,
Chuck said that after Richie and I'd split, a cop
pulled up and demanded to come in. Churck put
light resistance and asked the cops for a search \N>n''""
they said they didn't need one and if he didn't
the door someone was going to get hurt. Chuck
cided he'd rather be alive than legal so he let them
It wasn't the first time the heat had paid them a
14

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

looking for hot bikes and dope. It was three A.M. and
there wasn't anything else for them to do anyway.
The two rookies looked the engines over but were
helpless, since the left cases were buried. Then one cop
spotted the laboratory equipment.
''What's all this stuff?" he asked.
"Oh, that's my laboratory for making nitro-methane, a
special racing fuel I use at the drag strip," said Chuck,
quite reassuringly.
He explained it was all "off the shelf" chemicals and
vory legal. "You don't really think I'd keep anything iii
ftt ,re that ,w ould get me busted, do you?" he said.
Half convinced, the cops idly wrote down the names
of the chemicals and left. That's when Richie and I
1u llod up.
'l'lto last of the factory was crammed into the truck
11" I I followed Richie as he drove it around the comer
I 1 p.1rk it. We then doubled up on my bike and drove
I " I In his garage. A last minute cleanup produced a
I
1onches of weed and a loaded pistol, which were
l lv h idden outside. Leaving the garage door open
1111 ns nonchalant as possible, we worked halfheart'"1 1111r bikes, awaiting the inevitable.
\
I ul lw nty minutes flew by, then the watchdogs
111 I dr city descended upon us from two different
1 1111
The squad cars screeched up the driveway
1111,, ldppy red dome lights flashing everyone out.
1 1 .ldny new car jumped the pride of the SFPD's
ro .. 1, IIH one and only Officer Brusco. The elite
I 1 dln n, ll ut l was his ego trip.
'
I 1 11 , o was the most feared cop in the Haight! I 1 1 nolod for kicking in six doors a night
record for arrests but a miserable
15

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

lllt ld, 1111<l Brusco weren't the best of friends . . Brusco

l1ncl husltd Hichi c on numerous other occasions and
did11'l lik< him or Chuck at all.
'
So there h e stood. On Mondays, Wednesdays and
Fridays h e was plain-clothed. But tonight Brusco was in
uniform. His crisp uniform and well polished boots were
supposed to evoke terror in our hearts and souls.
Brusco and his sidekick Lanigan strutted into
garage with the two rookies who'd been here a
hour earlier standing at the entrance.
.
"Okay, Richie, let's go. You're in big trouble
thundered Brusco.
Richie finished tightening a nut on his bike,
looked up and asked, "What's the charge this time?"
Brusco turned to the two rookies and snapped, "
right, which comer did you say those chemicals
Richie, wiping his hands on his pants, asked
for a search warrant, saying that he couldn't search
garage until one was produced.
''I'm Officer Brusco in case. you've forgotten
don't need a search warrant if I have reason to
a crime's been committed."
Coolly, Richie straightened and said, "Here

peacefully working on our bikes, not bothering a soul,

when bang, we find two squad cars racing up here like
gangbusters, leaking oil all over my clean driveway and
telling me that you've reason to believe I'd just committed a crime I What the hell is this anyway?"
Ignoring Richie's protests, Brusco fumed over to
where the factory was supposed to be. The rookies stood
I'Y helplessly pointing and whimpering that this was the
pia e. Brusco reached down and picked up part of a
l11 oken test tube; the one Chuck had dropped.
"What do we have h~re?" Brusco sneered.
''l: xhibit A," said Richie.
'l'ho back of Brusco's neck turned beet red; he was
11 I Itching to nail Richie to a cross. The only trouble
tll <'re wasn't a cross to be found.
II ..!tie went on to taunt the good officer by telling
It' ll I hn wanted to bust him for something, to get on
11, 11 or please leave. Brusco knew that to bust us at
1" 1111! would really be fruitless. 'We'd have to be
1 d In court on an illegal search and seizure. At
I 1't l be in jail five hours, becau~e it was now four \
u~t lc <nut convened at nine.
.
II 1 " l1 w parting threats of revenge, the cops del 1 ltttlt less grandiose than when they'd come.
_
It '"' l11111 g around very long after the pigs left. I
I l111 1. if he could spare a small taste of crank as
I .I tl1 ~: poed in order to work the rest of the day.
I ld . pnod and only used it in emergencies. I
!It .I ndlos and found it-repulsive injecting any1 I " I I suiffcd or swallowed it. Of cours~, many
11 I p11l lilt' clown for this but then again many
11 I " quit o dead today.
I 'I'll' ,,.,,d outside to dig up the stash. He

16

17

legal mind. He never went for any of that ridiculous

red tape such as obtaining search warrants. Consequently, most of his cases were thrown out of court. He averaged a hundred and fifty-six busts a month with maybe
four convictions. Super cop. He had a reputation for
cracking heads in the station, covering such actions as
nsisting arrest, and if you complained, your bail went
up , ~~rass was planted in your aheady confiscated vehi!'f,., 1111d you conld look forward to another good ass
11111111)1111'.

THE SIGN OF THE FOOl

THE SIGN OF. THE FOOL

returned shortly and gave me a match head of crystal.

Richie cut in, telling me not to expect samples every
day, then dug up the fender and, together with two
ounces of exhumed weed, handed it over. Although
Brusco's show was a fringe benefit in the trade, Richie
didn't charge extra admission.
I wns mildly paranoid because I was holding,
IIHtdo the short cut over to my garage without uRaut~ul,

money but poor company. I could see our partnership

had a few cracks in it but so far nothing serious. Gulping down the last of my energy packed coffee, I
went downstairs to warm up my bike. While the chopper idled I zipped on a leather jacket and pulled up
my gloves.

It was just a short hop down to the telephone comp11ny garage at Sixteenth and Mission Streets. My hair
Wl lS gro~g longer by the month and I had sprouted
'' stubbly beard. I- knew my boss didn't like my living
lt o~ bi ts. The combination of hair and motorcycles wasn't
It t id ea of what a telephone installer should be.
A .~ I loaded my van with telephones and wife, my
l l "" ' l~h ts ranged to how strange it was installing phones
11 tlu Haight-Ashbury district. I'd run away from home
lu u seventeen, home being St. Paul, Minnesota. I
I" ul ni ne months in Stockton, California, where my faIt 11"dded and although I hadn't seen him since I was
1 I wasn't very welcome. He'd remarried long ago;
l1.ul th eir own scene and I didn't fit very well.
I Il l"' '' kicked me out three months before I was to
1.. II 11 11cl I moved around to different friends' homes
I I ,.,,,1 thr ough, finishing high school by the skin

II

I set my alarm for seven A.M., giving me two

sleep before going to work. My thoughts faded
hitting the sack. Sleep is the natural and all
narcotic.
The alarm went off so soon I thought my eyes
blinked, and to my despair it was time to become
ciety's slave for one more day. After work I wasn't
better off. I was a slave to my motorcycle. I was
out that owning a Harley chopper actually was a
rade. It was the chopper that owned me. 1 urtwr.-..1'1
keep her in parts. I grumbled over these same
every morning before pushing them out of my mind
my first cup of coffee.
Frank w;:ttched with a raised eyebrow as I
Chuck's methadrirl.e into my coffee. H e was a
for the California Highway Department and made
18

I'

I h.

It '" ' Snn Francisco and with little or no trouble,

I 1 ln h with Pacific Tel and Tel. All phone in' ' " given a certain district; mine was the
ltf,' " Y At that time the Haight-Ashbury was
"''' '"'wn; the beat generation was infiltrating
''""' llu old haunts in North Beach and from
I I :II 'I'II Wich Village but they didn't. follow
I 1111lllo"' of beatniks. They were generally in
I
"" ' win' and pot were only part of their
19

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

?iet. A little known drug was now maldng the scene;

It pushed pot and wine from ,the communion class down
to the staple~ class. LSD had become a new path to
God and enlightenment. San Francisco columnist Herb
Caen coined a new word for these people: hippies.
When I began installing telephones in the Hashbury
I didn't like hippies any more than most people did:
Even the motorcycle gangs considered them jerk offs.
I wn.~ hnilcling my first chopper at the tinle and
Pll'fJC'IH'c hncl switched from Hondas to Harleys as
lnllnw1 d llu 1nolor ycle bag. A Harley 74 stripped
flu J, 11"1 1'SNI nlin ls is a bird of a certain feather.
I now ownnd 011 , it didn't take long to realize they
llul d flo<'k log other.
I sn apped out of my thoughts and started the
I checked over the work sheet. Today I was to work
a special detail of the Construction Department.
of us were being loaned to Construction in order
speed up the cable laying out in the Marina
taking telephone poles down and laying the cable
derground. All the customers in that district had to
in an underground conduit from their homes to the
walk boxes at their own expense. If they didn't co1n 011
this in time, they'd be without service. Some of
homes were ready and some weren't as we moved
the block transferring the service from poles to
walks.
About ten A.M. my boss came out to see me. I
fill out an accident report because two days
my truck had been sideswiped by a passing car.
working partner Bob was down the street going
door to door checking which customers had their
20

duits in and which needed more time to complete the

work.
As I sat in my super's truck filling out papers, Bob
came running up the street. He was in a panic. Opening the door of the truck, he babbled almost incoherently about a terrible accident that had just occurred, an
old lady falling down some stairs. Without waiting for
my boss, I sprang from the buck and ran after Bob. I
une to a two-story house a block down the street.
The house had been occupied by two sisters, both
11 I heir seventies. One sister lived doWnstairs, the other
w npied the upstairs floor. The sister who lived on
11,, . street level kept her apartment door permanently
l111 I" cl for some unknown reason. The only -way she
1111ld answer the front door was by going out her back
'""1 , l'limbing the outside staircase, going through her
I I 1 ~ npartment, and then back down the hallway stairs
I 1111 lmnt entrance. She rarely had to do this because
I 1 l'. l1 r upstairs almost always answered the main door.
l1 " Bob ha:d rung the doorbell, the upstairs sister
1 11 1l wmt to answer the door. As she took the first
"" ' ' 11 she hipped and fell four steps to a smallland1 111 , ont in pain. Getting back on her feet, only
ol lu continued down to answer the front door.
11111 , tho sister living downstairs had heard her .
Slw was, of course, upset and dashed out
I .! .. or, 11p th e outside staircase and through the
'I' " 11111 nl. When she got to the top of the hall'" Nnfferod a heart attack and, incredible as
I II down the same four steps her sister had.
"' llu n T rushed to the old woman's side.
I I I lllllfliC x ion had turned blue. r felt for her
I l1 , 1(, "d 11 Bob to call the rescue squad. Her
1

21

THE SIGN OF . THE FOOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

breathing had stopped but she still had heart action. It

was beating weakly and rapidly. Not moving her position for fear of spinal injury, I gently eased back her
head, cleaned foreign matter out of her mouth, pinched
her nostrils and eased her lower jaw forward. Then in
an oven, consistent rhythm, I applied mouth to mouth
nsnscitation.
By t11is time my boss finally made the scene and was
surprised to see the action I'd taken. Between breaths
I asked him to take her pulse and report how it was. He
said it was slowing and becoming weaker. Suddenly the
strangest sensation overwhelmed me. Though not yet
physically aware of it, I sensed her spirit as it fled her
broken body. I felt her passing through me.
I looked at my boss and said, "She's gone; isn't
He . nodded solemnly and said, "Just this
How did you know?"
"I don't know. I just knew."
For tl1r '0 long minutes I continued to breath
llu1 body of this dead woman, knowing she was
I !'OUldrt't slop. I couldn't believe it. She'd died in
r1nns. For the first time in my life, death became
personal. Although I'd never known her, I was her
live contact.
I could hear sirens screaming down the block.
rescue squad clambered up the staircase with
and a mechanical resuscitator. Then and only then did
leave her.
''I'm sorry, you're too late. She died a few
ago," I said to the attendant.
The ambulance driver tried anyway, but after a
minutes agreed with me. My boss took a bed sheet
pulled it over her body, covering her face. I stood

r . . .,...--.-

22

and said nothing. I wanted to be alone. I walked back

to the truck, put my tool belt inside and walked down
the street. I didn't know why I was trying to play tough
guy all the time, but walking towards the bay I felt like
a complete failure. I felt sick.
I came to Marina Greens and sat down in the shade
of a tree. What in the hell is life anyway? What was the
flltrpose of this struggling? I gazed towards the Golden
( :ate and beyond the open sea; past the distant horizon
111y eyes penetrated to the very edge of my soul. I
p1 omised myself that when my time came I would meet
lid; old woman and tell her I was sorry I wasn't made of
1111o material.
Aftcr a few quiet hours- I returned to my trUck and
l1n\'t' back to the garage. My boss was there and didn't
111 nsk why I'd disappeared from the job. I asked him
II I I'Onld leave for the day and he said yes, the first
l1111 ho'd ever shown me any feeling.

III
d11tl it was Friday. It had been a particularly
II

r,, ol 111y paycheck in the bar across the street, and

tprl1 I lwcr cranked over my bike and jammed

" Ill\' garage, I adjusted and greased the drive
, lropp r, added some oil, changed the spark
23

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

plugs and stuffed a ball of hailing wire in my pocket.

Reaching for my stash on an overhead beam, I rolled
half a dozen joints and hid them inside the handlebars.
I left Frank a note telling him I was splitting for the
weekend, going down to San Luis Obispo to visit a friend
of mine, Bill. After digging through four or five drawers
of dirty clothes I found my faded swim trunks and
tl wm on under my originals. As an extra precaution,
pnl asido rny cm"lent driver's license a:nd stuffed
111 W I " ' orH in '"Ywallet. This one was for work.
I n uld 11 ,1 nr y , .11 '1\ll legit license only for work, I
nl I 1l1 I n c1 II. Cops never hassled telephone
len t I I clr ov1 ctt y chopper I'd get stopped for ndllCtl
ln 11 ll cl ngs Iii 1 no saddle bags. I got so many
llc nl It wns irllpossible to pay them all. I'd usually
11 111 il l hud eight or ten citations that were going
tho warrant stage, then I'd burn the license with
tickets which corresponded with that particular alias.
was much cheaper to pay a three dollar fee for a
license and clean record than to pay fifte(m
dollars worth of traffic citations every few months.
r
In California it's ridiculously easy to obtain an
tor's license. If you look twenty-one and have an
1
dress where the license can be sent, you're in. Once
the License Bureau, you walk over to a desk and fill
a little paper that reads DRIVER INFORMATION SEEET.
questions are:
Name-you fill in any name that strikes your
Age-anything that's legal and fits your
Date of birth-has to mathematically match what
you pick.
Your address-could turn out to he a tavern
. bartender will give the license to you.

The sheet then continues:

Have you ever }wd a driver's license before, anywhere? No.
Have you ever had epilepsy? No.
Have you ever been a drug addict? No.
Have you had any physical ailments that would interfere with driving? No.
At the bottom there's a statement reading:
"I swear under penalty of perjury Sec. xXX that the
. 1hove is true in every detail. Any attempt to falsify or
d ~ liberately alter the above facts may be punishable by
nnt less than six months in jail and/or a five hundred
cl" llar fine."
This statement usually stops people cold. If you don't
cnculr give a damn you just put your little ole John Han" I on the line, walk over to the counter and plunk
I " three bucks. The girl at the counter doesn't ask
111y identification. She types your new alias on a test
I I ou walk over to another counter, take a test that
11 cl 11 :tdy know by heart, take it back and pass a hun1 t tc ' I'C" nt. Then a guy gives you a quicky eye test.
1 1 " on tside and jump in your vehicle which a friend
clnwn for appearance's sak~. The official checks
l1 1clcly to see that he had a license to drive you
1 ' ' " ' " with. The man then checks the brake lights
lc " 'sl of the car's running gear and gets in. You
1111111d a few blocks, making a right turn, a left
fllc.t ll <'l park and that's it. The cop gives you a
1 r11cl you have a clean license for possibly two
II lei <'S maybe an hour for the whole sham. I /
I ' " d' nl>out six licenses a year but usually had

24

I I pi cltnn.
II I Inc tlllice solitary run down the coast. San

25

THE SJGN OF THE FOOL

. 'dent , that's an earthquake, baby. How's

That's no car .accl
your ride?" laughed Joe. k .
chalantly. He said it
. ks
too It so non
I was amaze d J oe
b trapped on stic
.
few men to e
f
was common or a
. or quake regiSterall 't was a mm
'
during tremors. Actu y lthe Richter scale. Most people
ing only two or three on
f 't entirely but the mo'
...c
unaware o 1
d An
on the Sl,I-J..Lace were
t d for every foot upwar .
tion was greatly exaggera e
. h t the bottom bet of one me a
unnoticed movemen
h
foot at forty feet up. .
'
t of per aps a
.
came a movemen
h k and get off the JOY
By the time I decided tod un oo'le on down the line. I
stick, the shock was alrea Y. ad r::d continued m:y cable
tried to put it out of my mm d d if the phone comtransfer. But I seriously w.on ere
pany was really worth all this.

VI
,--

. found each other.

Richie and bad karma olnce agamto be born under
eop e seem
must be true. Sorne p
d to fit this pattern
lucky stars. Rich certainl~ !~:~ face hadn't even
life. His broken
a~ings went sour, fast and
a chance to he~l be o~e two feds came over to
On this particular ayl, d rash a foot caved in
.
M In one ou
c
'
d
pad at SIX A.
.
aked as a J' aybird, an
.
h
upstarrs
n
door. RlC . ran
clldn't make it. The agents
out the wmdow. He

teet

38

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

. on a pair of cuffs and informed him he was under arrest on a Federal warrant, charging him with interstate
flight to avoid the Selective Service Act. The feds, kind
men that they were, allowed him to put some clothes
on before dragging him before the U. S. CommissioNer
downtown. Rich was immediately ordered to appear before the Oakland Induction Center. Three hours later,
he was out on the street with a 4-F both mentally and
physically, walking down freedom street, eating a McDonald's hamburger, feeling good and funky.
When he got back to his pad, Richie became a little
freaked. The FBI, Officer Brusco, in fact the whole
fucking world knew where he lived. It took him about
an hour to pick up what tools Ginzo the Ange!"had left
behind and move.

VII

About this time came _a fellow from Brooklyn, New

"d , Emmett Grogan. He was in the Army Hospital
I I ho Presidio, trying to get out on a Section Eight
l1~th means you're a psyched out lunatic). Rich had
11 visiting another Section Eighter in the same ward
I ''' 1came good friends with Emmett while he was
J, 1 observation.
111 11dt made his Section Eight and immediately beftlvolved in a guerilla theater called the San Fran39

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

cisco Mime Troop. As a side activity, Grogan's organizing nature procured a double garage on Page Street near
\\Cole. It had an address, a telephone and a large sign in
fluorescent paint which read FBEE FRAME OF REFERENCE.
' The reason for this garage was one which bore an important legal aspect. Hundreds of drifting people, mostly runaways, were beginning to beat a path to San Francisco, and the police were busting them if they didn't
have an address and phone number. To check out suspected vagrants, the police would call the g~ven telephone number to verify their given residency. If someone at the garage got a call from the police saying do
you know so and so and does he live there, the
would be told yes to all questions, whether the susne<~
was kJ;lown or not. All people who claimed the
Frame of Reference" as home automatically had a
ified, bona fide legal residence. If a person was
for some other crime, such as throwing a gum "~"'"'"'"'
on a sidewalk, he could often be released without
If three people vouched they knew the suspect
would take the responsibility, the person was released
their own recognizance. This created an enormous
hole in Frisco's "blue laws."
The "Free Frame of Reference" was advertised
n few thousand leaflets. They were printed up by
IIIIH'h sought after underground presS, called n~~,.,f-' "'
ulcly 1'he Communications Company. The leaflet was
npc u luvitation to all people needing a legal ""'nr.-~,..
\tlt the vagrancy law all to hell.
lit 111 I step in Emmett's scheme was
n l ~ l ow every day and distributing it
" I ' II 1 Park Panhandle. All that was
w~ that they bring their own
1

AO

utensils. The Comm~nicati

also, and they became theo~s Company advertised this
in the hip communi
ackbone of communication
volunteers, and five ~r ~~ l~~flets were distributed by
the street daily. Anybod
h ifferent leaflets would hit
about anyth'
. y w o wanted something printed
mg was given this
. fr
long as the paper lasted.
semce ee of charge as

Groganthis
hit tight
upon ba nam
dubbed
d ef for th e whole operation. He
"Diggers."
an o outlaw social workers the

When Richie deserted hi

d h
to the Digger garage on ps pa de shot straight over
with two other hea . kn age an began living there
VIes
own as John-John and G
Gary's . kn
me arne was Farmer G
b
.
ary.
ray, ecause the gray
army coat he alwa
hick.
ys wore made him look like a stoned

Diff~rent donations came

day. One da'y fifteen hundre~v:m~o ~e garage every
lo the cause. Now fift
h
1 pws were donated
1
d
,
een undred p '
nn . ev~rybody at sometime in his lJeshlS adrot of pie,
pte fight Within fl'ft een mmutes
.
of
1
e e as hearned
d
I I n years' worth N b d
.
'
veryone
a
eatenl
o o Y was m the g
I
c~tr of us and it was
.
arage except the
I
JUSt a matter f ti
b
I I I pie found its mark Th
.
o me efore the
II , The air became
en lt was every man for himl
1" " y and bluebe a urry of chocolate, cherry, strawrry creams After th fir h
lllu ls, everyone was h'd' . b hin e
st undred
Itt I Vllrbage cans Th fr 1 kmg
e d mattress shields
.
e ea out went on fo h If
h
.
r a an our.
I "II we ran out of ies
Ia i I flew throughpth ' e;eryt~g from potatoes to
e arr. W1th that
. t ory b y smoking' aa ftruce. .wj
II
I IIIIClI we claimed VlC
I I
>y some fine California .
d ew JOID I'
IHtl l lc.
wme, age twenty days
I

fl

Al

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

As we sat there getting smashed, I pointed an accusing finger at the three of them and said, "Man, if you
guys ain't the stickiest, ugliest looking scum bags on
Haight Street, nobody is!"
Wop! A spare pie plastered my already dripping face.
As I was scraping the butterscotch out of my eyes,
three chicks entered from a side door, after returning
from a groovy shoplifting spree.
Gypsy was a bike chick for the most part; the rest of
her was just good pussy. . She was taking off her three
sets of clothes one layer at a .time and was itchy with
the price tags still on, but she wasn't one to complain.
Sara was pulling half a dozen minute steaks out of her
pants. She was a New Yorker with curly black hair and
a beautiful hook nose. Sara wasn't much of a looker, but
man, could she give a good nose job.
While Gypsy and Sara were busily separating the booty
from the booby, Vicky, a horny chick with long stringy
dirty blonde hair, unloaded several dozen vitamin jars
from her Indian handbag.
"Would you chicks dig a little pie?" asked John-John.
"Sure, where is it?" Gypsy asked_, unbuttoning her
last blouse.
\ "Ymire looking at it," he said.
"What kind of pie is that?" she asked as she
finger across his navel. Tasting it she continued,
John-John, you're too cherry, I'm afraid."
'
She wandered over to Farmer Gray and licked a ]i
1 blueberry from his thigh.
"This is more like it. You're built like an upside
cake," she said, unbuckling his levis. "The cream's
the inside, thedingleberry's on the outside."
Not to be outdone (or undone) by Gypsy, Sara

42

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

Vicky wanted a piece of th

. .
four guys, there was enou e ac~on. Since there Were
only three chicks
gh pre for everyone W'th
h
, we weren't
. d
.
r
s ortage because Gypsy h d
worne about a pussy
and could've handled th ~ pulled her share of trains
.With the combined f e our o~ us without any heln.
wa tr'
orces of Vrcky d S
1:'
s rggerecL By swit h.
an
ara, an orgy
flavor to any on
c mg partners, nobody lost h'
.
e person but
. hns
Is
rts way to becoming m. ,
my JO
on was well on
a~ we balled and crash:t:::a~ ~t was a far out affair
mght.
e of banana cream all

VIII
l The Diggers w ere ga th ering
h
' own at my garage anoth
a .ead. of steam, and
works.
er organrzatron was in the
One particularly ston
.
wnre having a heated d~ eve~mg, Frank, Richie and I
,1 b W
rscussron cone
errung motorcycle
" s. e were faced with dil
ho drove a chopped 1I :
;;ma that faced anyone
'''" didn't belong to a clu~ ey.
you drove a chopper
I I ' one who did. Bein
lo , you were fair game for ev1 dIs to all the gangs ~s
ners: o;rr bikes were up for
up. One of the reas,on wfe drdn t have a club to back
.
s or a club
'" I rom bike theft. The name of th was mutual proteclllo ! Is mine and what's
'e game was "what's
~ours-we li negotiate." If you
43

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

net in the other. Over the top of tbe figure the word
Gladiator appeared. At first we wanted it to read Gladhe-ate-her but we decided it was a little too heavy.
Under the Roman figure we had a rocker panel which
read San Francisco. Everyone thought San Francisco
was too long a word to fit right and wanted it to read
Fris,co but Frank, being a native San Franciscan, was
squarely against this. The natives get real uptight whenever they hear the word "Frisco:" Frank was so uptight
that we finally gave in to him. It didn't matter much
either way and it certainly wasn't worth having Frank
lock his tool chest over it.
On the front of every member's cutoff there was a tag
with his name. Most everyone had a groovy one for
show. Frank's tag was "Shotgun" because he had a
sawed-off double barrel; Richie's tag was "Pigpen" for
obvious reasons. Then of course there were the already
mentioned names: Al, Mojo, Cowboy, Horse and Buf.
falo. When the time came for me to get my tag Pv,pn,ron.A'
agreed that John didn't make it at all., I didn't have
nicknames, so the other members went over to one
and had a quick huddle. After many suggestions
came up with Spider. The rest agreed I was
enough to resemble one so they walked over to
poured a can of beer on my head and christened
. Spiderman. The embroidery shop wrote it up as
and thatwas it. I've been known as Spyder ever since.
A week before Buffalo was admitted, we acquired
very important piece of real estate. Her name was
ny, Mamma Danny. A mamma is a chick who bes
her services upon any club member who so
They're considered club property and are treated
such.
48

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

-;

Every time a new 1 b

,
c u member w
d
I
a Party in his honor Th
.
as a rn1tted we had
colors during the
. ty e noVIce Gladiator received His
.h b
par ' usually aft h
\
Wit
eer, mustard
.
er e was christened
initiate also had to' burmello~whatever was handy.
plied the dope.
uy a
e beer, although we sup
Richie and I knowi
planned a littl '
.ng that Buffalo was still vir .
e surpnse for hi
Th
gm,
the party we took Mamma D m. . ree . hours before
stripped her down to h
kanny mto the bathroom
er soc s and did
'
d 1i b
e c ody painting with rna . ,
some psychewe wrote a list of eve
I
markers. On her thigh
the top. The idea was~ ~ u member with Buffalo at
went down the list balli o cross out the names .as she
Nobody except Danny ;~h~very member in the club.
Wh
h
, lc Ie and me kn
h
en s e was fully clothed
ew t e plan.
body couldn't be detected
once again, her marked
Five lwurs later the pai:cy was .
.
smashed on weed win
d R !umpmg. Everyone was
ltndn't made her p'lay ~han
omilar. Up till now Danny
1, h
e was
f or Ri ch and me
r give er the signal. Wh
th waiting
.
ltnr the high sign and she e? e time was ripe, we gave
In disrobe Richie tu
d disappeared into the bathroom
1

rne off the st

h'
' overyone to come to att t'
ereo w lle I shouted
Tlley thought th
en IOn
IS was a drag mutt .
'
'lp a11 about? Where's the
.'
enng, 'What's this
I told them we had .
m~IC? What's going on?"
1
c
a spec1ai

I rn
up against the wall R 1 surpnse and they were
I . lnd no
end RI'ch. . e uctantly they all lined up

1e put a
d
'
lo T,onellJ Bull by the T"
recor on the stereo
I ol the bathroom fo
D IJuana Brass. I shouted to'
r anny to com
S
II
he opened the d
d
e out and do her
oor an with
h'
<antered with the music
a Ip swinging
towards Buffalo. She

Thk

:IC

49

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

net in the other. Over the top of the figure the word
Gladiator appeared. At first we wanted it to read Gladhe-ate-her but we decided it was a little too heavy.
Under the Roman figure we had a rocker panel which
read San Francisco. Everyone thought San Francisco
was too long a word to fit right and wanted it to read
Frisco but Frank, being a native San Franciscan, was
squarely against this. The natives get real uptight whenever they hear the word "Frisco:" Frank was so uptight
that we finally gave in to him. It didn't matter much
either way and it certainly wasn't worth having Frank
lock his tool chest over it.
On the front of every member's cutoff there was a tag
with his name. Most everyone had a groovy one for
show. Frank's tag was "Shotgun" because he had a
sawed-off double barrel; Richie's tag was "Pigpen" for
obvious reasons. Then of course there were the already
mentioned names: Al, Mojo, Cowboy, Horse and Buffalo. When the time came for me to get my tag P.VoP.nron.e
agreed that John ,didn't make it at alL I didn't have
nicknames, so the other members went over to one
and had a quick huddle. After many suggestions
came up with Spider. The rest agreed I was
enough to resemble one so they walked over to
poured a can of beer on my head and christened
. Spiderman. The embroidery shop wrote it up as
and that. was it. I've been known as Spyder ever since.
A week before Buffalo was admitted, we acquired
very important piece of real estate. Her name was
ny, Mamma Danny. A mamma is a chick who
her services upon any club member who so
They're considered club property and are treated
such.

48

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

-I

Every time a new 1 b

,
a party in his honor c;he mem_ber was admitted we h~d
colors during th
.
noviCe Gladiator received His
.h
e party, usually aft h
\
Wit beer, mustard
.
er e was christened

' urme or what
h
r
lllltiate also had to b
11 th
ever was andy. The
plied the dope.
uy a
e beer, although we sup
Richie and I knowi
planned a littl ,
.ng that Buffalo was still virg'
e surpnse for hi
Th
In,
th e party we took M
D m.
ree hours before
amma anny . t th
.
stripped her down to h
k
m o e bathroom
d li b
er soc s and did
'
e c ody painting with ma . ,
some psychewe wrote a list of eve
gw markers. On her thigh
the top. The ide
ry ~lub member with Buffalo at
a was to cross 0 t th
went down the list balli
u
e names .as she
Nobody except Danny ;?h~very member in the club
Wh
h
' Ic Ie and me kn
h
.
en s e was fully clothed
ew t e plan.
body couldn't be detect d
once again, her marked
Five hours later the ;a . was .
.
Nmashed on weed win rt;{ R !umpmg. Everyone was
hadn't made her ~lay. ~~:
omil~~ Up till now Danny
to give her the signal Wh wahs Waiting for Rich and me
I th h'
.
en t e time w
.
lor e Igh sign and she disa
. as npe, we gave
lu disrobe. Richie tumed off ~peared mto the bathroom
'' everyone to come to atte t' e stereo while I shouted
Th
n Ion
ey thought this was d
a rag mutt
'
' 'P aU about? Where's th
.'?
enng, 'What's this
I told them we had . e m~w What's going on?"
II
c
a special surpri
d h
' nc up against the w 11 R 1
se an t ey were
" Jed no end RI'ch. a . e uctantly they all lined up
Ie put a
d
'
1'' !,onely Bull by the
T"
recor on the stereo
'ol the bathroom f D !Juana Brass. I shouted to:
or anny to co
'"' She opened the d
d
me out and do her
~~ untered with the oor ~n with a hip swinging
music towards Buffalo. She
49

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL

ld 't restrain himself

was strikingly nude ~nd. B~or~. ~anny walk~d ~ver
s his johnson arose fightin?
d pulled him mto
a .
t her hand in hiS pants an
to him, pu
'ld cheers of everyone.
the bedroom to the WI
. d Danny and Buff
.f
inutes passe '
After some IVe m 1 h't eating grin while Danny
emerged. Buff had a reads It Buff's name on her leg. .
reached do"_'ll and cross;he o~st, balling everyone and
She went nght do~ i X marks. Danny was a nymcrossing out names with b 1d ti fy her singly or jointly.
phomaniac and ~ob?~Y ~=n ~: ~opped out, saying he
When it was Richie s
,
h 'd already taken on
wasn't going to ball anyoneftw ~ch but in a flash
seven other guys. We went
d t atederacross the roo ftops w ith
opened the window an .: ~e were up three stories
.
three of_us in _hot pursmthe fire escape, up the
we chased him do_:vn
We caught him but saw
towards the Digger garage~
It was all in fun.
t
was no use.
. back to the party JUS m
The four of us made It k h d a cast iron stomach
to catch Frank's act. Fran a hy gang members
a nasty reputation. Sevenf raunc
size and by now 'sh e
already tried Danny out orF ank trying for the
th
Our man r
,
t
\
sloppy wi come.. full view of the gang, we~
Prize, and m
l ty act of cunnilingus I ve
\ Piece
on Danny in the most us
\ seen.

THE SIGN OF THE FOOL .

IX
My job With Ma Bell was quickly deteriorating. I'd
drive my chopper to work wearing colors. My boss was
beginning to cringe a little when he saw me stomp into
the garage With a stubbly beard, long greasy hair and
Nazi swastikas pinned to my cutoff.
I could read his thoughts: "This is a telephone man?"
Sometimes after work Frank, Richie and half the gang
would pull up outside the office with their choppers
idling in a low rumble waiting for me to get off work.
rt didn't impress my boss any to see five or six of us roarIng away.from the place in a pack.

While I was driving my phone van down Haight

I saw a crowd of people demonstrating outside
lito Psychedelic Shop. The news media was there taking
lt lc:vision pictures. About ten people Were marching
' ~ rnaU circle, carrying signs.

.'~treet,

I pulled my truck over, unhooked my tool belt, and

.t/fccd over to the scene. The signs were protesting a
tu<ilcc bust of some kind. One of the protesters looked
Jllffn familiar. It was John-John, although it was hard
cognize him with no pie on his face. I joined the
'' f, , as someone traded off his sign to me. .Marching
ltfrul John-John, I asked him what I was protesting.
.tid Ron Thielin and his brother Jay, owners of
I' ch shop, had just been busted for selling porno-

50
51