FRANK LOESSER THE Most HAppY FELA ye bymE Magstoso (J.00 Grandioso e mgestoso (4-0) ei Tpit Eh qa - | = luda : ————— curtain iene Basses > > vp 2 Segue ACT ONE SCENE ONE A middle class San Francisco restaurant at closing time late of a January evening in 1927. Most of the tables show cloths and debris as if having been dined at recently At a couple of others, customers finish a last swallow of coffee. One or two more are ‘at the CASHIER'S desk at the left, already paying their checks and exiting. At the extreme right, we s0e the emiplayees' coat rack on which hang the waitresses’ modest coats, bats, bags, ete. Downstage of this is seen the edge of a sort of portiere, matching one similarly draped downstage of the CASHIER'S desk at the left. The place is rather gloomily lighted by a series of tall lamps of the period. At curtain sise, in addition to the departing customers we see a collection of weary young WAITRESSES, sovne clear ing already sacated tables annd others fretfully waiting for the last diners 10 get up and 0. Presently they do indeed go and assemble for a moment at the CASHIER'S deck where they pay their checks and take hats and coats from a eustomers rack near the desk The CASHIER, a somewhat unattractive man in bit middle 30's, sports a hair comb which would indicate that be thinks himself pretty urbane and slick. He adopts « professionally plearant attitude toward the departing diners as be stands bebind bis desk taking checks, making change, etc10 Dotente (4-66) Alto Fito CASHIER: Thank you, good night. Thank you, good night. Hurry back now. Out of ten, Here we are, Thank you, good night. (The CASHIER uliraconrteously escorts the last lady customer on her exit. Then he turns back toward the group of fatigued WAITRESSES on stage. Hir manner has changed to one of loud and rude authority.) All right, i's closing time. Save the lights. Well, come on, let's get these tables cleaned up and get out of here. Closing time! (In response, while the CASHIER sternly exits 10 another part of the restaurant, the tenipo of the action increases slightly and becomes @ deadly almost mechanical process as the girl finish their table clearing.) fz m__ Pesante(d=t08) > | ov 2 (CLEO emerges jrom the action. She is a generously built red-bead somewhere in er late 20's, with a jocular rulgarity which does not obscure her warmth and Lindness. She is critical and sometimes sarcastic, but never really bitter. She bas seen some life and rarely hesitates to philoropbize, in a southwestern accent, on ay zt of it. At the moment she ix wearing one shoe as she limps forward wearily to a downstage restaarant chair. She is carrying a tray beating ber other shoe as if ww the world a symbol of her present distress. She places the tray on ant i table and wearily flops into the chair. Now she takes the shoe from the tray and mates a gingerly, but futile effort to pus it back on ber foot. Instead, she eases off her other shoe, leans back and sighs.)OOH! MY FEET! 7 Pesante (J.108) ceo + = Gon! My feet! My poor, poor feet! Bet-cha your life @ wait-ress earns her ww. eu) o Piano Z PP cetio, Bass to - pay. Tye been dn my feet, my poor, poor feet all day long [10] Ooh! My tes! My poor,poor toes! How can I give the ser-vice with a smile?az poor poor toes, after mile, af - ter mile, af -ter mile, af - ter a 77 be (She indicates her toes as she sings.) mile. A This lit - tle pig-gy’s on - ly13 This lit tle pig-gy feels the weight of the plate, Tho’ the freight’ just an or-der of Mel- ba And this lit- te pig-gy is the lit-tl-est lit- tle pig-gy, But the (She takes 4 menu from the table and fant ber feet.) isa) fe fe son of a bitch hurts the most! Ooh! = My fect! = My poor, poor feet! Bet-cha your life a wait-ress earns ber pay.My poor, poor feet, all day — long (She slowly and tortuonsly rises and leans on the table for support.) day! Do-ing my blue plate spe-cial bal- ge = = "2 7 [eet vy Segue (A group of WAITRESSES and a BUS BOY upstage begin a frivolous mock ballet as they gather table cloths. The CASHIER re-enters and interrupts the employees bijinks, sternly shooing them off toward the kitchen, He now approaches « downstage debris- Jaden table next to CLEO'S. In his slickest manner be straightens his tie and for & moment scans the restaurant as if looking for someone.) Pesante (d.t08) (50y Pesante sos) mw om op a be 2 e := ca * a3 CASHIER: (To CLEO) Hey, whece's what's her name? You know—Station 27. (CLEO points up behind the employees’ coat rack. The CASHIER looks in that direction, sees what be is looking for and starts to cross wolfibly off toward his objective.) Ob, say 27. Listen dear, I want to ask you something . . . (be exits as CLEO waits gently rubbing one foot with the other. There ix the sound of a slap from bebind the coat rack and a second later the CASHIER comes reeling backward into the scene holding his band 10 bis face. A china tea cup flies into the scene missing bim narrowly, And now ROSABELLA appeass, hands defiantly on her hips as she pursues the CASHIER, She is small physically, but with resolute bearing and independent attitude of chin by thick she tries to deny that she it lonely. She ix pretty and blonde but not imposingly sexy. Her language and pronunciation would indicate that she is from somewhere in the northern past of the US. but that she is rot 4 bey gil) ROSABELLA: Now go away, clammy hands! CASHIER: Okay! Okay! You know there's @ lot of waitresses laying off all over town just begging to date up a guy in my position. (The CASHIER bends down to pick 4p a customer's lost glove from the floor, ROSABELLA can't resist the inspulse to ich bim in the behind, and prepares to do just that.) ROSABELLA: (Mischievously) A guy in your position is just begging for something — (CLEO quickly holds ROSABELLA back, stopping her justin time.) CLEO: (Prosectively, in a whisper) Ub uh! The room rent! (The CASHIER, unaware of the recent menace to bis person and pride, straightens wp and walks off toward the kitchen.) CASHIER: (Resentfully to ROSABELLA as he exits) You know a guy like me ema tae ak ee ROSABELLA: a Cleo, 1 dont care if he fires me!16 Andante, ma rubato (J. cisca72) sli- my slob. — know how it i Dont tell me, 1 knowhow it is;— When you're —o= (CLEO has walked over to a caffee urn and taken a cup of coffe.) z ° bi num-ber twen-ty sev-en on the — list —— Be- ing kissed is not ex-act- ly at guess Uve helped a few fellows prove they were fellows, and they ‘but they were guys I liked and they thought I was asked me something special... alentaz Déct tell me, I knowhow it is. But when you're just”tw Ror fe = (ROSABELLA has started clearing a table, Suddenly she turns excitedly to CLEO.) Cleo, what do you think a customer lett me? be Getting took out is much more like yet-ti What do you thin (ROSABELLA ir holding a menu in one hand, « small glittering object in the other.) hee — knowhow it is Dorit (Not observing) tell me, 1 know how it is —18 Moderato ‘6-100 (As she clears her table) a 7 Sev- en mil- lion erumbs and gra Tea - spoon FLBo, L T ca : mus — tard Nap- kin on the a t fe ez a -| ——_—____| \_4 £ aI FS Y Moderato (J=100) ROSABELLA: (Interrupting) t's jewelry! I Fess + Su yu pick it up with the sev sen mil-lion crumbs and — the19 CLEO: Huh? ROSABELLA: He left me a piece of jew elry! T's a man’s tie pin! (She hands the tie pin to CLEO. CLEO taker the tie pin and examines it critically.) CLEO: Looks like amethyst. Must be glass What did he look like? ROSABELLA: I don't remember anybody. CLEO: Didn't you see him? Didn't he talk: to you? ROSABELLA: No, Tonight the place was so busy! And you know me, 1 never notice 2 face or Hsten to a voice, I just hand them the menu— (She carelessly flips the ‘mein ont in front of ber ara example.) Hey! there's some writing on it. (There is. pause as she reads. Then she laughs.) Te's a mash note! I's in kind of @ funny broken English CLEO: (First looking about spookily) Honey, T think I'd better walk you home tonight. 00 ‘Tempo rubato YROSABELLA: (Reading a Coanghing ques WaTS mel Ros-a-bel-la. Caughing 6 I My dear (Amused) a Ros-a-bel-1a? Harp, Celeste (Reading on as if having trouble deciphering) call you Ros- a-bel- 1a be - cause T don no your name, JP vn20) (Resting on) I amtoo a-scared to ast you. CLEO: That's what this place has always needed! A bashfyl customer! o————— a (d.60) can - no leeve you mon - ey on the SS nice And so I leeve you my b CLEO: 1 wonder if it ig real. Say, if it is, maybe a hock shop would give you a hundred dollars for it. Did you ever see a hundred dollar bill? Buck home in Dallas they'e Known as Texas callin’ cards, (Ar CLEO speuts ROSABELLA reads silently and her manner changes t0 one of somewhat romantic wonder.) ROSABELLA: Cleo, it doesn't matter if the stone is real a mm a eb areal lve eter a bb be et T shonldt have made fin of a is real {s ‘Sires T PpP | PEP resi. poco a poco 224 (She is more and more emotionally moved as she reads.) FRB) Grandioso (J-6o) (1:4). Maestoso (260) Listen to what he says: I don no not ing a-bout you, where you ev-er 40, fe rit. wat you ev- er done not - ing a-bout you. I don wan-na no 4 a Idon gottano, Wat Isee is kindof yungla - dy want to get mar- ry. _ CLBO:(Cibetievinglm Lemmesee that! OSABELLA hands hor the mon) Presto (o +120) (Skinning fast over the monu) a Se poe e oe Series os Soy I dont know noth-ing a-bout you, where youev-er go, what you ev -er dune, 3 422 Deliberatamente (J-50) molto rit. vn ey What I see is kind of young la - dy a S Yeah! (She looks up in pleased realization.) (Now both look at the menu as CLEO continues reading.) 1 five on my grape ranch with my sister. RFD, Eleven, Napa Valley. Oh, 1 forget to tell you, my name is Antonio Esposito ROSABELLA: (Romantic) Esposito, Please send me a postcard just to say hello and you make me very happy. Yours tculy, Tony. CLEO: (Musing) Tony. ROSABELLA: (Dreamily) That's a nice name. (The CASHIER suddenly re-enters now He pulls the cord which closes the portiere panel in front of bis desk, He startles the girls ont of their mood.) dressed in bis hat and over CASHIER: All right, you two! This is no ladies club! I'm lockin’ up! (The CASHIER exits angrily, BOTH GIRLS rire quickly. CLE walks to the coat rack as other WAITRESSES re-enter from the bitchen ard join ber there.) CLEO (Sotto roce) Somebody ought to lock him up. (Along with the other girls, they take off their aprons and caps and put their coats on, CLEO examines the coat she fr putting on, and bubbles to ROSABELLA.) Ob, 1 gotta get this damn coat Tining fixed. ‘TWO WAITRESSES: Goodnight CLEO: Goodnight, giels. (Babbling ov) Back home in Dallas it seemed like you never needed a coat lining. Seems like you never needed anything. (A WAITRESS in hat cand coat erosses and exits.) WAITRESS: Good night CLEO: (Absently) I guess I should have stayed there and marcied that chicopodist WAITRESS: (Crossing) Good night23 (She absently goer to the coat rack and takes off er apron and cap a gets her own shabby coat and pocketbook and starts putting the 0 an. The restaurant portieres close bebind the TWO GIRLS.) pag Moteratol 30-88) ROSABELLA: (Musiingly) May- be hes kind - era-2y.— This young fel-la, this young Tin gon-na sénd him his post-eard say -ing 1s mosso( le) “Thank you, yours. sin - cer - ly, Ro - sa LEO: He could be some kind - of Or a small town Jack the Rip - per! To start with Strgs., Harp | ———(She holds the tie pin out.) = Now, how about + na - tie tip - per. going home? (CLEO gives the tie pin back to ROSABELLA. She tater ROSABELLA’S hand and tarts palling ber toward the exit.) (ln a strange new mood) We've been going home every night, kinda wanting something. but wanting what, Cleo? Wanting to soak my feet! (ROSABELLA stops and looks off into space. CLEO begins to exit.) Come on,éream gir! 2 RZ bo Ss pe | a (She exits leaving ROSABELLA standing there tying to find ber own answer to the question. Presently a look of soulful realization comes ta her face.) Molto espressivo e con calore(d-54) 5@rudato Want-ing to be want-ed. Need-ing to be i —— '_——25 mriato = ‘Thath.what it is. ‘Thathwhat it is. Now Tim luck-y that - = varies JJ —-z=—~ a | a an SOMEBODY, SOMEWHERE Lamentando (J-60-69) HP ROR Some-bod -¥ some - wheres. ‘Wants me and needs m oe A ‘ oh Piano mp Sito - BL ‘That's ver-y won-der-ful to know. oretrl tee ‘Tempo! Some-bod - y__lone - ly. Wants me to care. Wantsof all feo- ple! no - tice him there, want to be want-ed___ Need to be need - ed Elia Eo, cl r = subsop =! —I en a LJ J : 5, accel. And TH ad-mit Im all about, ae a Nore at fe Tt Tempo Wants me and needs me Wants some - where. [some -bod - y, ww.27 accel, Jone-ly me to smile— and say“Hel - 10”. Vis, WW. 53) Largamente (J-60) rit. a ‘*“Some-bod-¥, some - where — Wants me and needs me Mis, A. Vis, —— Fe # - ¢ Meno mosso (J-80) that’s ver-y won-der - ful 5 2 > ee te S ™ oa (THE LIGHTS DIM OUT ) SCENE TWO The main street corner of Napa, California, in April. It is midday. At stage right we see the facade of the Post Office. Back at center is a grain and feed establishment, and the edge of another store is visible downstage left. In the distance bebind the entire street scene we see the rolling California grape lands bathed in sunlight. Running diagonally up and off between the three buildings are streets now populated with various Napa townspeople, walking, talking, shopping, etc. The people are dressed in western rural style. Among those crossing the stage is MAX, the town peddler and part-time photographer, who pushes « cart advertising "Photographs While You Wait"