Coaching and Beliefs

by Jan Elfline

Page 1 of 3

Wecreateourexperienceoflifebycraftingbeliefs.Ourbeliefschange
throughoutourlives;theyarefluidandmutable.Wecantraceourdevelopment
byidentifyingadjustmentsinourbeliefs.Buttheverystatementsinthis
paragraphgoagainstmanyindividualsperceptionsaboutbeliefs.

Asyouworkwithclients,thefirststepistomakethemawarethattheyhave
beliefs.Thismaysoundabsurd,butourbeliefsareofteninvisibletous.We
dontframeourassumptionsasbeliefs;rathertheyaresimplydescriptionsofthe
waytheworldworks.

Asyourclientsbegintobesensitivetohowmuchoftheirthinkingisdrivenby
thebeliefstheyhold,theywillchoosetoshapebeliefsthatwillservethem.This
mayleadtoadiscussionabouthowbeliefsarechanged.

InChangingBeliefSystemswithNLP,RobertDiltstellsthestoryofamanwho
believesheisacorpse.Onseveralvisits,hispsychiatristattemptstoconvince
himthatheisinfactalive,buttonoavail.Finallythepsychiatristasks,Do
corpsesbleed?Themanrepliesthatofcoursecorpsesdonotbleed,allofthe
systemsinthebodyhavestopped.Thepsychiatristproposesanexperiment.He
willprickthemansfingerwithaneedle.Whenhedoesandthepatientstartsto
bleedthepatientlooksastoundedandsays,Illbedamned,corpsesdobleed!

Thisstoryillustratesapointaboutbeliefsandevidence.Beliefsarerarely
changedbyourexperienceofcontradictoryevidence.Ifsomeonehaslowself
esteem,noexternalacknowledgmentwillmakehimorherfeelworthy.If
someonethinksofhim/herselfasincompetent,nonumberofdegreesand
credentialswillconvincethemthattheyarecapable.

Beliefsarechangedaswerecognizethatweholdabeliefandchoosetoquestion
orchangethebelief.Ritualmaybeuseful,suchasthewalkingbeliefchange,or
aclearingritual.

Asacoach,youcanworkatthelevelsofbehaviorandcapability,andtherecan
begreatvaluefortheclientinmakingchangesatthoselevels.Butattimeseven
afterdesiredbehavioralchangeshavestabilized,theclientdoesnotexperience
thebenefitstheyexpectedasaresultofthosechangedbehaviors.Thebehavior
haschanged,butoldbeliefsarestillrunningtheshow.

Copyright 2004

Jan Elfline, ICF MCC

www.JanElfline.com

Coaching and Beliefs

by Jan Elfline

Page 2 of 3

Incontrast,whenbeliefsbegintotransform,desiredandlastingbehavioral
changescomeaboutwithlesseffort.Asanoldbeliefshifts,wefindthat
changingwhatwedoseemsnaturalandeveninevitable.Ouroldbehaviors
produceafeelingofincongruence.Ournewactionsreflectcurrentbeliefsand
feelright.

Incoachingyouwillhaveopportunitiestoaddressbothbeliefsaboutcapabilities
andbeliefsaboutidentity.Fromabouttheageoffiveonward,wedevelopskills
andcapabilitiesconsciouslybychoosingwhatwelearn.Aswecontinuetogrow,
ourbeliefsaboutourcapabilitiesexpand.Childrenrarelyquestionwhetheror
nottheyarecapableofdoingsomething,theyjusttryit.Iftheyfail,theytry
againorinadifferentway.Butaswegrowolder,wemaytrysomethingseveral
times,butwhenfrustrationsetsin,weoftenassumethatwearenotcapableand
wenevertryagain.Asacoach,youmaywanttoquestiontheoldevidencethe
clientisreferencing;howdidtheycometothisbeliefabouttheircapability?

Asadults,wehavelittletoleranceformovingthroughlearningcurvesandwe
geteasilyfrustratedandjumptoconclusionsaboutourcapabilities.Albert
BanduraatStanfordUniversitystudiedhowlearningtakesplaceandcreatedthe
nowfamousBanduraCurve.Hefoundthatlearningisaprocessofmoving
throughcrisispointsthatrequirethatwebelievewecanchangeorimprove.As
webelieveinourcapabilities,ourperformancerisestomeetthebelief.Aswe
questionourability,ourperformancefalters.

Inworkingwithclients,itisusefultoassumethatlearningandchangeare
processesthatareinfluencedbyourunderlyingbeliefs.Ascoaches,weoften
speakabouttheprocessesoflearningandchange.Weidentifyadipaswhatit
is,astumble,notevidencethattheclientshouldquitstrivingforwhattheywant.

BeliefsaboutidentityshowupinthecoachingrelationshipasIamstatements.
TheclientjustassumesthatthisisthewayIam.Hereagain,thecoachcan
challengetheclientbysuggestingthattheirstatementisabelief.Thecoach
couldsuggestthattheclienttryononadifferentbeliefaboutwhotheyare,
andnoticewhatbehaviorswouldfollowfromthenewbelief.

Peopleoftenhaveasensethatchangeattheidentitylevelisdifficultoreven
impossible.Inreality,weareconstantlyintheprocessofinventingourselves.By
decidingtoworkwithacoach,theclienthaschosentobeconsciousaboutthe
processofdefiningwhattheirlifewillbelike.Inessence,theyareinventinga

Copyright 2004

Jan Elfline, ICF MCC

www.JanElfline.com

Coaching and Beliefs

by Jan Elfline

Page 3 of 3

newidentityforthemselves.Yourcoachingquestionscanhelpthemshapethe
newidentitytheywanttoliveinto.

Beliefsarecentraltoaneffectivecoachingrelationship.Youwillachievelimited
successwithprivateindividualsorinbusinessesifyoudonotassisttheclientto
lookattheirbeliefs.

Questionsandstatementsthathelptheclienttoexaminebeliefs:

Whatistrueaboutthis?
Isthatabelief?
Youcouldchoosetobelievethat.
Thatisoneperspective.
Doyouhaveabeliefaboutwhatshouldbeinthissituation?
Theresabelief.
Andtheresanotherbelief.(Thiscouldgoonforanentirecall!)

Copyright 2004

Jan Elfline, ICF MCC

www.JanElfline.com