Wimps, Wackos and Winners: The Three Ws of Writing

Bestselling Characters
Deborah Cannon

Who are the great characters of Bestselling fiction? Off hand, I can name a few. Scarlett
OHara, Frodo Baggins, Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, Tarzan and Harry Potter. What do
these characters have in common? Everyone knows who they are. I dont even have to
name the authors of these characters because Scarlett, Frodo, Sherlock, Poirot, Tarzan and
Harry are as real to each one of us as our own friends and families. When writing a novel,
characterization above all else is what a writer should strive for. Why? Because it is the
characters, especially the protagonist, the hero or heroine, that grabs our interest and leads
us through the story, and makes us care.
One mistake that aspiring writers often make is that they create a character that is too
ordinary, too much like themselves. Its natural for a writer to work out their own thoughts and
feelings, and maybe even their own personal problems when developing a story person. But
this is the one type of character that editors and readers universally reject. People do not
want to read a story about You. They want to read about people who are bigger than life.
James N. Frey in his book, How to Write Damn Good Fiction, calls this type of character
the Wimpy Housewife. Here is her scenario:
A wimpy housewife who is a total klutz at everything naive, ignorant, and yes, well,
maybe even a little dumb is stepped on by, thats right, her callous, nasty, and philandering
husband. The wimpy housewife does little about her problem except suffer for, oh, forty or
fifty thousand words, until one day shes sparked into action, usually because a neighbour,
friend, or therapist tells her she ought to, damn it, do something. Armed with this advice, the
wimpy housewife, rather than confronting her problems, runs away to find herself. She
usually ends up having an affair with a married man, getting a job in a semi-glamorous
occupation such as advertising, journalism, top-of-the-market real estate, the arts. The
wimpy housewife eventually learns to be self-sufficient, realizes that, yes, she too is a human
being worthy of dignity, and finally makes it to the Top and marries Mr. Just Fine.
The reason why the Wimpy Housewife has no appeal for editors or readers is because,
rather than being sympathetic, she is pathetic. No one can relate to a character who is
pathetic. Thats not to say one cannot have a character who is a wimp or a housewife.
Shirley Valentine was a wimpy housewife, but she acted right from the beginning of the story
to change her life. Her personality was not wimpy. She was funny and full of insights into her
own condition. She flew to Greece and had a love affair.
I recently finished a Russian crime thriller by Boris Akunin called The Winter Queen. His
hero, by most peoples standards could be described as a wimp. He is young, low man in his
job at the Moscow police force, and rather naive. He blushes easily and his name is Erast
Fandorin. Even by Russian standards, that is an odd name. But what makes him a great
character and someone that everyone can identify with is his energy, his personal insights
into the crime that he is confronted with and his tremendous nerve. In his naivety, he tells his
superiors what he thinks and how he believes the crime should be investigated. Then goes
and investigates.
Erast Fandorin made The Winter Queen a bestseller in Russia. Because of its popularity,
it was translated into English and published in the U.S. to rave reviews. It lost nothing in the
translation. Erast Fandorin was not only a bit of a wimp, but he was also a bit of a wacko. He
is too easily awed by beautiful women and no matter how many times his life is threatened
(he gets stabbed, poisoned and trussed up in a sack and thrown to the bottom of a river), he
always manages to stay alive. Talk about an innocent combination of crime-solving savvy
and sheer dumb luck.
Memorable characters are often a little wacky. Readers are enthralled by wacky

characters. Think of Hercule Poirot drinking his tisane every night before bed, sleeping with a
hairnet, and trying to avoid bending his waxed moustache. Then theres Sherlock Holmes
playing his violin until the wee hours of the morn, then shooting up with morphine.
Wacky characters add spice to your story and make a good foil for your serious
characters. In Peter Benchleys Jaws for example, the by-the-book biologist Hooper is
juxtaposed to the hard-hitting crazy shark hunter, Quint. A more recent example in film is
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. The hapless but loveable pirate
captain, Jack Sparrow, is deliciously wacky in contrast to the sincerely honest blacksmith,
Will Turner.
Of course, writing wacky characters is risky. You must create just the right balance of
eccentric and serious characters in your story and you must write them so well that they are
believable.
Gone With The Winds Scarlett Ohara is not your run-of-the-mill southern belle. She too is
a bit wacky, but she is certainly no wimp. She is a winner. She is not a good person, but she
is a sympathetic one. She can do good, but only from selfish motives. She isnt nice, but
countless numbers of readers have loved her and wanted a happy ending for her. Why?
Author Celia Brayfield describes her like this:
Her cardinal quality is courage and her selfishness opposes it. She wants her own way,
especially in the matter of marrying Ashley Wilkes. Behind her is the Old South and her
mothers notions of honour and ladylike conduct. Above her is her best self, a truly heroic
woman who can sacrifice herself and save lives, even the life of Ashleys wife. At her worst,
shes a callous grasping bitch who steals her sisters man, causes his death and cant love
her own child. At the end, although she changed when the Old South died, although she took
up all the early challenges of her journey and won, she refused the last fight. She will not
love Rhett. She does not change until it is too late for him, and the end is tragic.
We love Scarlett because she suffers and is courageous, and she never gives up. We can
forgive her when she behaves badly because nothing has prepared her for the challenges in
her life.
Good characterization is the driving force of your story. It occurs when your fictional
person has a combination of real human flaws and an extraordinary ability to overcome
them. If you can avoid writing wimpy heros, if you can let your imagination go and find a truly
original soul to tell your story, you will have created a winner. A wimpy hero, by definition, is
no hero at all. Make your characters take charge right from the beginning of the story. Give
them some eccentricities, something that will make readers smile, but not mock, and above
all make them winners.