Thoughts

It seems cloudy, this evening, I thought to myself, sitting on a footpath. Another

boring day again I said to myself. People were passing by; some came by and dropped a cent
or a dollar in a can thats in front of me. I thought to myself, probably changes from a
grocery store, but I would thank them anyways. I took the money, stood up and started
walking through crowds of people. I needed to go to a near public bathroom thats about a
block away. When I got there, the bathroom was filthy and the smell was intense.
People never have dignity in men public bathrooms, I thought to myself and I sighed. I
wandered around the streets for a while and walked to the back of a baking shop that I usually
go to at night. I would wait for the shop to close and the baker would come out with leftover
breads. He would call me and say, Ill put your dinner beside the trash, John First of all, my
name isnt John and I dont know why he calls me that, but, whatever. At least Im grateful of
his generosity. I took my dinner and walked away and thanking him by righting a note.
As I was walking, I saw a boy crying outside of a Toyshop and his parents inside.
Boy, why are you cryin I asked. Is it because your parents wont buy toys for you?
Mommy wont buy toys for me he sobbed. Then, I walked and sat beside him and said,
Boy, sometimes you just dont get everything you want I explained.
Why, Mr. Stranger? The boy asked while tears were still pouring out.
The truth i Suddenly his parents ran out of the shop and pulled the boy away from me
and scolded him, I told you not to mess with strangers and especially the filthy ones
You stay away from my child before I call the police and sue you the parents said with
anger and looking straight into my eyes.
I stood up and smiled at the boy. The boy stopped sobbing and returns a slight smile as I was
walking away. The stars are quite clear today; I looked up as I was walking.

Sighgeez, I miss my parents I took a deep breathe.

I looked at the clock that is in front of the toy store. Hmphits already getting late, gotta
go to sleep then
Meanwhile, as I was walking back, I thought to myself. Do I look that filthy? Does
my jacket look bad? I mean there are just a few stains. Plus, my pants arent that bad. I wear a
dark color shirt, so that it wouldnt make me look as dirty. Im sure that Im more sanitized
than others who live in the streets like me. I take care of my teeth and I shave. Hmphwired.
Was it because of my ponytail hairstyle? I dont even smell. Well, my feet might smell, I
mean, I walk all the time. Then what was it? Was it my greyish eyes? Nah I think my eyes
are beautiful and rare, according to the books I read.
When I arrived back to my home, which is in a gap of the building. The space isnt too wide
but not too narrow. Its my current home. I could say that its pretty cozy, although other
people wouldnt think so. My bed was made out of left over cardboards mushed up together
and held with duct tapes. I crafted a roof out of a clear plastic material, so it can keep me and
my books dry on rainy days. I lay down and beside me was my diary book. I write it
everyday, expressing my feelings how my day was. My diary was like an imaginary friend
that I would talk to every night.
Dear, Diary
I met a boy earlier in the evening. He was crying beside the footpath. I walked up to
him and sat next to him. I would do the same thing as I normally do. Then the boy answered
me, mommy wont buy toys for me . I wanted to teach him like my dad did when I was five.
If I every meet him again, I would like finish my sentences. I would say, the truth is you
dont get everything out of this world as you desire. There are days that you get something
and you dont. Theres a day when expected something, but you receive nothing. Its alright to
not get something, maybe later on; youll get something that you desire.

I dont know whether if the boy will understand it or not, but at least I hope that the
boy would think about it later on in his life.
Today, I made a boy smile
I put down my diary and laid back into my bed and watched the stars above, shining through
the night sky. As the cool breeze blew in the night, I closed my eyes and went into a slumber.

Beep Beep A random car in the streets honked. I open my eyes slowly, thinking to
myself, Rush hour to work like everyday . I stood up with a slight pain in the back as
usual; its because of my cardboard bed. The pain would go away throughout the day. I
stretched out my back taking a deep breath and exhaling out slowly. I sat on my bed and
pulled out my locket and opened it. There was a picture of my mom and dad; it makes me
smile every morning. I stood up and was ready to start another day. I walked to the public
bathroom and started cleaning myself. I used a razor that I bought it from a dollar store and
shaved my face clean everyday. I tied back my hair into a ponytail and walked out. I thought
to myself, maybe today I could wander near a campus, to see whats been going on lately.
Walking to the campus took me about five minutes. I went and sat down on a bench in front
and enjoyed the sounds of bird chirping in the morning with a cool breeze of wind under a
tree.
A teenager walked towards me and had a gloomy face. He seems to be holding his
tears, they could fall at any time. Hey, whats wrong boy I questioned him out loud so that
he could hear me. Nothing he answered softly. You know, nothing is something. So,
whats the matter? I got a C+s on most of my exams, and I feel stupid. Why cant I get a
perfect score? I read lots of books thinking that they will help, but it didnt. Whats the point
spending three months preparing for this stupid exam? I always wanted to be perfect, good in

sports, getting straight As and making my parents proud The boy started sobbing and cried
softly. He came and sat down on the bench.
Boy, not all people are the same. We are made different. We grow in different ways.
Have your parents ever scolded you about your grades? I asked curiously
No, but I still think that they arent proud of me he answered slowly.
Have your parents ever seen that youve been studying hard?
My parents saw me, but they said nothing about it.
Then, Im sure that they are proud. Ill prove it. When, you walk back home, go ask your
parents if they are proud of what you are now, or are they not. If they do, use the stone under
the tree thats behind this bench and make a mark on it. Draw a happy face, if they said yes,
and a sad face for a no. Okay?
Sure, but then theyll say no anyways. He answered dreadfully
Give it a try. By the way, Im surprised how you can talk with me this far as a stranger. Can
you tell me why? I asked curiously.
Well...I feelI actually dont know. But you dont look like a vagabond to me.
What if I said I am? The boy looked shock at the moment. You should be heading to
somewhere now, bye The boy stood up, without a word he walked away from me. Thats
one wired way to end a conversation I chuckled. I sat there for a while, enjoying the autumn
breeze.
The sun slowly went down and stars started to shine. I walked to the back of the
bakery shop and leaned on the wall, waiting for my dinner. I waited and waited. The baker
didnt come out. I Guess I wont be eating today then. I stood up properly and started walking
to the gap between the buildings. I laid down my bed and didnt even think about writing my
diary. I looked up to the stars and thought of parents. I wished that they would still be here. I
pulled out my locket and held it in my hand tightly as I went into a deep slumber.

I woke up with the same reason as usual. I looked at my locket and positioned it back
around my neck. I stood up tall, took I deep breath and walked to the public bathroom to do
my morning routines. I looked into the mirror and saw myself a bit thinner than before. I
wasnt surprised though. I smiled to myself and walked out of the bathroom. I wandered
around as usual and sat down in front of random shops and placing my hat on the ground.
People came by and dropped a dollar, but mostly cents and pennies. I said thank you for
every person who donated a coin or two. I used those donated money and bought myself
toothbrushes, razors, duct tapes, soaps, and books. It is now evening, lights are getting
dimmed and people started going home. I wandered a little bit more in the streets and spotted
a girl who seems to be down. She was sitting under a dimmed lamppost in front of a
townhouse. The cool breeze blew softly; her hair shined soft brown under the light as it
waves through the wind. She was wearing a black leather jacket, high heels, and jeans. I dont
like to see girls cry, so I walked up to her slowly, but trying not to look like a creep. I asked,
Hey, whats wrong, you shouldnt be out here alone at this point of time. I asked gently
I have nothing to lose already, and its none of your business she said it with tears
If I had to guess, I would say you are broken hearted, I said it carefully
She looked at me and said, RUDE! But yeahits true Am I a girl whose heart is a
playful for a man who I loved? Am I to strict on him? Did I not care him enough? Why did he
let me go?
Dont doubt yourself so much, we all have things that we arent perfect at. Nobody can be a
perfect. We can only be good at something in such ways but not perfect, because we werent
made to be perfect I said it with a voice that wouldnt impact her feelings. She was in
silence, listening, though still in sorrow. Can I tell you something that I have in mind, I
made this up but I think that its true. I asked. Sure

Imagine us as piece of paper, we have a pen in our hand and a whiteout in the other. The pen
refers to our actions and a whiteout refers to a memory that doesnt want to be kept. As we
meet other people and create good memories, we write on their paper. We can choose to erase
bad memories with a whiteout, though it leaves a mark behind. Sometimes the paper gets torn
apart, it can never be fixed. We all go through these things. I paused. Oh, I havent
mentioned one thing yet. There will be a person who has a tape that can stich the papers back
to its shape. And that tape covers the marks that had been torn. If you are lucky, you will find
that person. If not, then thats fine because thats how reality is. I dont know if the things I
said will help you or not, but I hope that it could ease off your pain in here. I placed my
hand on the left side of my chest. She smiled back, Yes, yes, it did. Thanks.
But I think that you will find a man with a tape ready to fix someone, because I girl who can
cry that much for a man, really cares about him.
The breeze kept blowing, as the moonshine bright in the night sky. We bid farewell
and walked away from each other. I went to the bakery shop and took my dinner, it had a note
on it and that said,
Heres your dinner Sorry about last night.
Au bon pain,
Baker
I smiled as I was walking back, eating the bread. My belly was stuffed and my eyes
were about to close when I lay on my bed. I watched the stars and looked at my locket. The
night breeze took me away into a deep sleep
The morning light shines above and hits my eyes, awoke me from slumber. I was
curious why that there werent any honks from a car in the morning. I did all of my morning
routines and walked around like I normally would. While I was walking in the middle of the
day, I spotted a man sitting moaning on his own. His hands were held his head as if he had a

headache. I walked and stood in front of him saying, Whats the stress you have in your
mind? I suddenly thought that it was a really bad way to start a conversation with these
kinds of people. The man stood up straight and grabbed my jacket and raised it up high until I
felt that my feet couldnt touch the ground. I held on to his hand and said, Chill man, Chill.
I was nervous and shaking. Its none of your business, why the h*** would you want to
know about it. You think that you can help me? No, my life is over. He said it furiously. I
was sweating hard and breathing hard. All I wanted to do was to ease out your anxiety I
said while shaking. Well, I dont need it. I dont want to hear any of anyones crap. Mind
your own business freak. Im 34 years old, I know what Im doing! He shouted. He punched
me right into my ribs. I tried to block but I was too thin to handle this man. He aimed my
cheek and hit me hard. I dropped to the floor and heard an echo voice saying, FREAK! as
my eye got darker and became unconscious.
I woke up at a random place. I could hardly open my eyes. The place was dark and
somewhat warm. I was in a blanket for the first time of the year. My visions were blurry and
it hurts to sit up properly. Dont move just yet an old voice appeared. I slowly look to my
left and saw an aged man sitting beside. You hurt yourself even more, just lay down and
relax. I didnt say a word but opened my eyes. What trouble have you gone through? You
seem like a person living on the streets like me. I took a deep breath and said, I was just
trying to help people, like giving them advises, ease out their stress, or to relax a bit. I see
youre that kind of people. What you are doing seems to be good, but have you ever thought
of someone who has his mindset fixed? These guys are really hard to talk. You see, some
people have their own thoughts and they dont like others to change it. Youve got to accept
that. The old man said slowly. How do you know that Im what kind of person? I asked.
Because, I once was you. That doesnt matter though. Do you want to go anywhere? I help
you move. He offered. Can you walk me to a nearby school and place me on a bench under

a tree? Without saying a word he helped me up. He put my arm around his neck, smiled and
walked me to the bench that I pointed at. Before I sat down, I saw a carved out smile face on
the tree. It made me smile and felt heart warming. Before I leave you here, would you mind
if you told me your name? He smiled My name is I paused. Nah, never mind. Its
wired telling names to a stranger. Thats fine. Ill ask you later if we ever meet again He
smiled happily. I closed my eyes and sat on the bench, enjoying the breeze.