28

SORROWS AND SONS

Br,'Rr. Sure it was, boy. And if dot, it might as well

have been, Well . . . you get some sleep.
BucxY. Burt.
BURT.Mmm?
BvcKY. It's beennice to meet you.
BLrRr. Donl you frct. (BUR| exits quietly, ctosing
the door behindhim. Silence.)
BucKy. I'm young. I can sta d it, tLryhs fade @
black.,

Spittin'Image
December oJ 1974.
An incrediblj mess! college dom rcom is dim, lit onl!
bv a desk lomp.
BuCkY is asteepar the desk. He is in footbal ie6et
and underwear.
A krlock on the door. Soft, then louder' BUCKY stirs.
He shrts.
BucKy. Aw, shit . . , (me knocking sta s up sgan'
toud enough to *ake the dead.\
MEcs. Hah! Ilall,j? (BUCKY iunps p' gtubs some
pants and struggles into them os he makes his waYto the
door.\
Bua(y. l'm cornjng. wait a sacond.Just a-heyl I
said I was coming. Stop the knocking! I'm coming!
Yeah, what?
(It b MEGS, He b about ten leo's older thgtt BUCRY.
He wearsieans, Nork boots, a cap, a dovn rest,
leathet zlo)s anil aviator shades. He baryes into
the rooh throwing staps and plalful punches,)
MEcs. Hah!? Hah!? How you doin therc, Bucky'
boy?
BucKY. Megs,
MEcs. Hah!? (He rrlovls o slap rHah!'] (He follou's
h with a Dunch.t Hovt you doin you big whore? (l1e ,tirs
thetiah;switch on the walt ) Surprise:WhaI a ya gol to
say for yourself?
BucKt. I fell asleep.

29

30

SORROWSAND SONS

SORROWSAND SONS

Mrcs. Rack time, huh? Or maybe you was floggin

that ol dolphin, huh, stud?I catchyou in the middle of
spankinthat monkey?
BucKy. No! No, I was working at my deskand I fell
asleep.Aw, man, two hours ago. What are you doing
here,Megs?
MEcs.Listenthere,big daddy,canyou spareyour old
buddy Megsajob? I ran out ofSas outsideand I needa
few bucks for petro. Hah!? Hah!? Just kiddin, stud,
just kiddin. Hey, look at you! Big number 88 in the
flesh.lt's so good to seeyou. Beentoo damnlong. How
you keepin that ass?
BucKy. Aw, hey, not so good right now, man. I wish
you'd called. You caught me right in the middle of
cramming for exams.
MEcs. Yeah? You always do your studyin in your
sleep,stud? Hey, I'm just kiddin! You got eialns, I
won't siay long. See,I was passinby. I was in the area
and I thought to myself-damn, my man, Buck is right
around here! I better stop by, checkout his digs. So!
Thesethem, huh?
BucKY. Yeah.
MEcs. Well. Fuck a duck. Ain't much are they.
BucKy. They'reokay. Listen,Megs,I appreciateyou
stoppin by. I appreciatethe thought behind it. And
what I think we shoutddo is makeplansto gei together
rhe nert rime I'm home. Righr here and now, jez,
Mcgs, bad timing. So much I have to do, you know?
You underslandwhat I'm saying?
MEGS.Hah? Hah!?
BucKY. what.
MEos. How long'sit been,stud?
BucKY. what?

Mrcs. Since you and I seeneach other, how long's it

been?
BucKY. lt's beenlong.
MBcs.Too long' It's beentoo long! Butlbeenlhinkin
of ya. I beenkeepintabs.You! Are doin great! I know.
So how you doin an)vay?
BucKY. MegsMEcs.Creat, huh? I beenkeepintabs.Hey. Youbeen
keepintabs on me?
BucKy. I've beenstudyingfor exams.
MEos. You rememberthe last time? We watchedthe
tube at your folks house.We ale chips and we dmnk
brews.I had Rufflesand you had Doritos. A good time'
huh? Heyl A greattime. We coulda goneall night cpt
for that headacheYou got.
Buc(Y. It was a bad headache,Megs
MEcs. Hey! They can be. You big, swingin dick!
Look at this place!
BucKy. Megs,what about the holidays.We'll get togetherfor something.Megs?
MEcs. Big Buclaroo, you should maybehire someone to cleanthis placenow and again.
Bucxy. You're not listeningto me. I've beenworking
very hard foa exams.No breaks.I haven'thad time to
clean.
MEcs. Well, I guessnot. This placeis a sty, stud
BucKY. I've beenbusy. I am busY.
MEcs. Yah. Well, I'm just passinthrough. Wanted
to seehow you're looking. Real fine Spittin image So.
You're busy, huh?
BucKY. Yeah. I'm sorry, Megs
Mrcs. Well . . . it\ a bad time for all ofus. Damn A
collegeboy. I can't 8et over it. Poster'son the wall and

3I

SORROWSAND SONS
shit all over the place. More books than a five and dime
Hey! You getlin smart? I bel you are! You learn inreresringthings of note I bet: You gd laid a lot? You
hang around cafesdrinkin coffee? You ain't too busy to
bullshit for a spell, are ya?
BucKy. Jesus.You'r not going to be happy until you
sit down for awhile, are You.
MEcs. I'll stand you dodt mind. I ben ddvin a long
time, need to stretch mY legs.
BucKy. Yeah, okay, fine, but Megs, listen. Only a
few minutes. Please. I'm going to be going aI night as
it is.
MEos. Hey, I hear you! You do your work and I'll
stretch my legs. How's that sound? I mean, I'm not
stoppin by for any legit reasonol nothin. Just wanted to
sathelo and jerk off a little bit a your time. Knew you'd
be angry if I didn't.
BucKy. I jerk off my time well enoughfor both ofus.
What are you doing out this way, Megs?
MEGS.Workin!
BocKY, You're in your truck?
MEcs.Hell, yeah.Cot that pig parkedoutside.Comin
tlrough from St. Louis, Mo, Steelhumpin bleachers.
Benrattlin and rollin all the way hcle, drivin me qazy.
I madea new land speedrecordgettinhere.Stud,I drive
so fast no one can keep track of me You been tryin to
keep track of me?
BucKY. No.
MBcs. And no wonder! I beenbusy. oughta seethe
terminal, buck. Back ordered and beyond up to our ass_
holes. Everlthing's sittrn around and we'rc losin our
shirts. But hey! You sure ar lookin good, you big
swingin dick.

SORROWSAND SONS

33

BucKy. Looks are deceiving,Megs. (MEGS pu s a

book off of BUCKY9 desk, distupting hin.)
MEcs. Whafs this manure you're chompin on here?
Psychology? You gonna psychologizeme, stud? Co for
it, boy, go for itt You can analyzemy ptoblems.(I1e
throbts hifiself on a bed, rcclines like a patieht,\
MEcs. Heater on Bertha's screwed.Bertha's my truck,
Colder lhan a eighty year old woman. I keep tellin-pople in the dispatcher's office to fix her or they,re gonna
find me stuck tween somewhere and somehow one a
these days. They never listen. Fuckers never do. Never.
Bertha's not a bad truck. For a fuckin truck. Actually
she'sa mud humpin dinosaur! That's why they give her
to me all t}le time! Urmpirg rp) Stud, I drive trucks like
I am going off a diving board. Two weeksago I jackknifed one outside of Hartford? This VW cut me off
and there was ice all ovet the place. Didn't help that it
was midnight and I was still wearin my shades. That
jacknife coulda tumed into a swan dive into the hereafter, stud. That close.And the trouble it caused?You
jack a truck and you wind up in trouble as high as the
eyeballs.Cops,union, company.All ofm tellin you that
you fuck up. lt's wearin. (pd6e) Xnow what? You,re
good at this. Psychology.
BucKy. Megs, I couldn't psychoanalyze
a stone.
MEcs. No. You got a knack. You're easyto talk to.
BucKY. Sure.Like my brother, dght?
MEcs.Well ... yeah.Kinda.
BucKy. Wrong. You want to know what kind of
knack I have? I'm failine tl s stuff. I'm failing just
about everlthing. Flags everylvhere. I'm about as good
a studentas you are a ddver.
MBcs. Hey, Bucky, I am a stud driver, man.

SORROWSAND SONS
BucKY. Exceptfor the jacknifes.
MEcs. Well, y'know, hey. So I'm a lousydriver. I get
there, that's about it. Hey, but thal's all that really
counts,ight?
BocKy. No, getting there doesn't count al all. Getting
back again, that's what counts.
MEcs. Wow. Yeah.You're right. Hey! Want to know
a driver? Flanaganl
BucKY. "Flanagan" Flanagan?
Mxcs. None other! That son of a whore, he drives!
BucKy. I haven't senhim since . . . I understand he
drops by to say hello to the folks aI the time. He'll
rake some
shovel the front walk in the winter
leavesif the yard needsit.
MEGS.Flanagandoesthat?
BucKY. The folks say.
MEcs. Oh. Hey, like, y'know, I also sometimesstop
by to say hello to your folks too.
BucKY. They appreciateit.
M!os. I figured theywould. I mean,wejust sit thete.
I neverknow what to sayor nothin. Hey, you think next
time they'd maybelet me mow the lawn?
BucKy. Why not. They nedthingsto appreciate.
Mrcs. They got you, don't they!? One mudhumpin
beautiful guy! Spittin image! Flanagan, I love that
stupidfuck. We argueall lhe time, meandhim, but hey,
y'know, like that. Flanagan,he makesthe run, appleto
Detroit Motor City three times a week. Cuns it across
Eight-Oh in Pee-A which is only the worst sectionof
concretein the entireworld. Doesit like he wasshotout
of a howitzer.Shakesthe ballsand socksoff a dg, Flanagan.And he don't touch pills, Bucky, not one. Hardly.
Crazy son of aBucKY. Megs.

SORROWSAND SONS
MEcs. Huh?
BucKy, What'sgoing on. I've told you I'm not doing
wel in school. I've told you I need to work. You don't
listen. How come?Megs, I'll tell you again. I need to
MEcs. I:m bugginyou, huh? Yeah, I am. See,you're
by yowself when you drive. You don't talk much. You
get with a good buddy, you make up for lost time. Conve$ation, you know? Taik-listen. Talk-listen. You
do your work, stud. Me? I'm qtiet. (Pause, BUCKY
/alrr.r. ) You tired?
Buc(Y. Yeah.
MEcs. You want something to keep you awake?
BucKY. I want to be left alone!
MBos, Sorry, (pdr&) Flanagan and me, see, we used
to pop whitesso much we was higher'nsunshine.Flanagan, youle with him and he's seeinunicorns and trolls
alongsidethe road. I was. . . He was strainedthinner
than a sheet. lnsane. It was V tlat did it. We got ourselvesover to V, took one look around and shot outselvesdirectly into the ozone. Stayed there on whatevet
we could get our hands on. Flanagan,he comesback
from Nam a first classhead but now sometimeshe don't
touch a thing.
BucKy, What about you, Megs,are you touching?
MBcs. (hesitating, Tough stuff to drive on, man.
(pa&re) Flanagan's something, stud. A ftiend, A mudhumping true blue friend. My best friend in the whole
world. The mudfucker.(pdrre) Talk to me some,won't
ya, Bobby? (BUCRY storts. ) Oh, would ya listen to
me . . . I must be fried or something. Thirty hours a
drivin. Talk to me some,Bucky. Won't ya please?
BucKy. Flanagan once told me that the worst road
he'severbenon is Interstale49 throughWestVirgiriia.

SORROWSAND SONS

SORROWSAND SONS

MEos. Four nine tfuough the Smokiesworse than

Eighl-Oh through Pe-A!?He mustabeenon pills!
BucKY. Thatt what he said.
MEcs. That's crazy!
BucKY. It's whal he said.
MEcs. He said! He was probably seeinleprechauns
pissin iD the pine trees!
BucKY, Who know. Who cares.
MEos. You ever beenon a rig, studhoss?
BucKy. Now what would I be doing on a rig, Megs!?
MEcs. Psychology is all very well and good, stud, but
it is neither here nor there concerning trucks. I take
theserigs out. I know.
BucrY. I know. I know you know.
MEGS.When th man from the team comes around, I

the load on his back. Know what his handleis? Frankenslein!Krow what mine is? Roadrunner!CauseI fly!
(ri/erce) No. That's not it. Not rcally. They call me
Jacknife.Frcm jackin all the trucks Bucky?You really
think l'm that bad a driver, stud?
BucKy. What do you want meto say,Megs?What do
you want to hear? Megs . . . You flY!
MEcs. You great, bi8, swingin dickl And youlre a
good studentl Smart!
BucKY, Yeah, I'm a great student.
MEcs. Sma !
BucKY. I'm failing.
MEos. Thal don't mean nothin.
BucKY. To somePeopleit dos.
MEcs. Well, yeah . . . "somepeople".But not to me.
Me, I ny! Heyl You do your work You do it good. Me'
I fly . . . an l'm cool. (BUCKY sitsal his deskand ties
to stud!. Silence.And then, like a pla$ l chid, MEGS
pulk wious stunts to get his attention. BUCKY tries to
ignorc him, Fitully he can't.,
BucKY. What are you doing!?
MEos. (rapptt) TaIk to me somemore, *ill ya?
BucKY. Jesus,Megs!
MEGS.Anything.
Buc(Y. A lot of people think there must be a certarn
romanceto driving.
MEcs. Hey, you know they'reriSht?Thereis
BucKy. No books, no exams,no hassles.Just a port
and a horizon. A beginning and an end. A womb and a
gmve.
MEcs. You tryin to grossme out or something?
BucKY. What?
MEcs, A womb?
BucKY. Its just a word?

36

BucKY. What's the team, Megs?

MEcs. The big leaml Th fuckin-A big team. The
what the fuck happened to Jimmy fuckin Hoffa big
team! You either put out or shit or lock the doors on
fort Pitt.
BucKY. You put outl
MEca. Hey, man, tllcy crumple you like a piece of
paper, you don'f! (He crumples sheets oJ paper on
BUCKyS desk, Silerce.) Notes for your test? Sorry.
Sorry. I'I fix'm. You pissed?You pissed,Buck?
BucKy. Megs, I think you should get going.
MEos. Okay. okay. But what I was sayin was tlis.
Th team, see, they say iump, you say how high. They
say shit, you say where.
BucKY. I said I think you should- !
MEcs. But l.lanagan don't! No way, bie steer! You
say shit to Flanagan, he'll ask you if you're ready to eat
it. what a monster. His rig ever broke down, he'd carry

38

39

SORROWSAND SONS

SORROWSAND SONS

MEos. A fucking womb?

BucKY. It's not a dirty word.
Mrcs. Stud! Thereare just ce(ain wordsthat drivers
do not use! Now maybeI'm a fucking puritan or something but, like, that's one ofm. Whafs the matter?
BucKY. I have a headache,
Mxcs, Hey, me too. Maybe we should go out for a
beeror something,
BucKy. Goddammit,I can't! EverythingI've said to
you has gon in one ear and right out the other!
MEcs. I'll be quiet.
BucKj.. No, you won't! Not for a minute at a time!
What do you want from me, Mgs?What's the matter
with you?
MEcs. I'm edgy is all. l'm sorry. You want I should
go!
BucKY. YES!
MEos. I'M JUST A LITTLE EDCY! lll sit tight. I'm
cool. You're gettin psychologydone, ain'tcha?
BucKY. Are you kidding me?
MEcs. I bt ya arc.
BucKj.. Listen to me. I'm failjng. I'm on probation.
MEcs. No, you're not.
Bucl(Y. I am!
MEcs. No.
BucKy. Yes! The only thing I'm passingis a cake
courseon children'sliterature.A kid's courseandit's the
only thing I like.
MEcs. Ya iike psychology,don't ya?
BucKy. I hate it! I hate it! (He suddenl! sweeps
books and papersftum the desk to thefloor.) I hate all
thjs shit. Psychology.People are unhappy. History.
People fight wars. Biology. People are going to die.
what elsedo )ou sanl Io know?I've beengoinSotel

this shit for days and it's still alphabet soup ro me lf it

weienl for theiolks . . Ho\{ arn I supposedto explarn
it to them. (si/rce)
Mrcs. You look very tired, Bucky Are we takin a
break?
BIrcKy.No. You look hungry.Megr'why don\ yotl
so out and gel yourselfsomethinglo eat'
"
sub
vs.s. thii. verv kind of you bul I hada sausage
commyself
make
work
l'll
you
LisLin
r.""nrlv.
t.iu
ioriable. Mivbe I'lt read somelhing somethjngeducaLiinal.t He tooksar the booltcdre) MaybeI won\ read'
save my eyesfor drivin. which bed'syourst
BvcKY. Huh? That one.
Mrcs. Mind il I lie on it?
BrrcKy. Throw the sruff on it anywhere'
Mrcs. You read a lot? Huh?
aufxr. el"ays the wrongstufl at lhe wronglime'
nice bed t usually sleepin the
Mpas. Ohhhh
t.rct. When I sleep at all. Real nice bed l hardly ever
.ieep ut nlgtrt. Maybethal s wh) l m-edgy l could sleep
(
in thit bea. ta"v. Yeatr.You studyin?Sorry' fftefe it a

it' catches
iiiiioit on *"b"a upcs picksit up, tosses

lr. I You play lhjs year?

Bucxv. Huh? \o l mean, I gol tossedhalf wa)
through. My grades.
MEcs. Too bad.
su;rv. lurt about kitled the folks. EspeciallvDad'
BJby beingAlt-Ivy too. And captainof the team God
Everv team.
M;cs. Football on Mondav nights Huh? Amazing'
On rh. ne.r coasLthe gamesrlafl al six. on lhe easl
coastat nine, yer euerybodyseesthem at the sameLime'
lhis i' unbelie!abteCrazy.Nights.Nighlsare sucha
birch.I driveal nighLas muchas pos'ibleSometimes'

40

4I

SORROWSAND SONS

SORROWSAND SONS

Flanagan, he also drives at night. What do you do at

niglt, Big Buckaroo?
BucxY. Huh?
MBos.Whatchado inthe p.m., studhoss?You go out
wilh the ladies?
BucKY. Sometimes,
MEos. You slep?
BucKY. With the ladies?
MEcs. No. Just you,
BucKY. Yeah. I sleep.
MEcs. Yeah? That's geat. Me, I drive. The road,
slud, she's a hog. She's a big snak with her teetl set
dep in your assbut all in all she'sgood. She keepsyou
occupied. You're not occupied,you're like an empty
house. Useless. (MEGS'S qes close. For a moment it
look like he $'ill sleep. He comes awake with a sudden
jolt. He ris?s., Some people would be lonely, I guess.
Shows what they know. Me, I know every burger, beer
and bus stop on every route goin. I know them, they
know me. That's lonely? Hey, Bucky, is that lonely?
BucKy. Not if they know you itrs not.
MBos. Damn straight! You gotta hear this one. I was
iII Pittsburgh this one time, see, and this babe starts
buyin me drinks. A knockoutl An she'sbuin! Not only
is she buyin, she's sittin on my lap, lickin my ears ard
buyin. That'slonely?Hahl Hah!? Yougonnaaskmeor
what?
BucKy. What.
MEcs. What? What a ya mean, what? You gonna
ask me if I scored?You gonna ask me if I laid some
pipe?
BucrY. Did you?
MEcs. Come onl
BucxY. You come on,

MEcs.Listen, the kind of babeshewas,you wouldn't

have wantecl to score
BucKY. You said she was good
MEcs. Cood? She was great! But half way through
the evrnjng I hit the headlo bledrhe monslerajld this
suv comeiuDand tell\ me lhe babejut finishedmakin
t i.k otf teamof LhePirbburghSteelers'
Ii iirtt ,tr.
"nilr.
That
slopped
BucKY.
You?
MEcs. Come on, stud!
BucKy. wouldn't havesloppedFlanagan
MEGS.Listen, Bobby used to say leprosy wouldn't
stop Flanagan,
BucKy. Yeah.I beLhe did. I want you to leave'man'
Mros. But ainl ya gonna ask me what happened?
Ain't ya gonna ask me what happened?
BucKv. wtat happened.
MEos. You won't believewhat happened!I gel out a
the head and tle babe wa[ts a ride home in my rig A
dde on my rig is what she wanted. I figured I'll dump
her off and go.
BucKY. whv would You dump her off?
Mrcs. I told You, man, shewas a slut!
BucKY. She was buing You drinks.
MEos. Hey, you walna hear this story or what?
BucKY. I want You to leave!
MEos. BUT SHE LTVED WITH HER PARENTS!
(He ciegtes,besidehiriser.l She did. stud, I sweat'
we'ri siitin in her folks drivewav,mv rig is aimedaLher
front door and I say, hey!, now you can tell all your
friends thal vou beenin an eighreenwheeler'She was
verv imoressid.Hah? Hah!? So whal doesshedo? Shs
sel; oui. lakes ott her panties.climbs under the rear
;heels of the truck and savsshewon'l move tjll I pork
her.

SORROWS
AND SONS
BucKY. Aw, come on, Megs!
Msos. The slut!
BucKy. Cive me a break!
MEGS.The slut! Under tle wheels! The rear wheels! I
shoulda run her over. An I was gonna. Cept all of a sudden her old man camc outta the house. He musta noticed something. I mean, an eighteenwheeler ain,t a taxi
cab. So it's a mess.ThereI am. Therehe is. And there,s
his daughter under the whls with her panties in her
hand. The old guy walked. He went back in tlle house
shakin his head. He musta been usedto it or somethins.
Hah? Hah!? You gonna ask me? Did I rake her lo thl
hoop? Did I go the whole nine yards? I surely did not! I
stuck that stick in fi$t gear, jammed the wheel, swung
right through the tulips and LEFT HER LYIN IN THE
DRIVEWAY WTTH HER PANTIES IN HER
HANDII (MEGS laughs hJste cally, BUCKY is silent.
MEGS grows quiet., See,I don't kid around, stud, Uh
. . . course, ol FlanaSan woulda porked her probably.
Ol Flanagan'd pork a doughnut if it was flesh ard
blood. Bobby alwayssaid so. Ol Bobby, I suremiss ol
Bobby. Know *hat I mean'!(BUCKY nods.) And your
folks, they must misshim too.
Bucry. Parents nevet get over something like that.
MEcs. You were . . . you were how old?
BucxY. Fifteen.
MBas.Yeah.And now you lookjust like him. Spittin
irnage. Put out or shit or lock the doors oII Fort pitt.
BucKy. Yeah. Put out or shit or lock the doors on
Fort Pitt. (pa6e) I'm not dumb, Megs. I,m not a genius
but I'm rot dumb. I shouldbe doingwell but somehowI
8et sidetracked. I gt jacknifd. And the folks want so
much. They need so much. Bobby was going to be a
lawyer. He was going to be president of a company, of a

SORROWS AND SONS

43

gouniversity,ot the*hole countrymaybe.Whatam I

end
and
I
study
try
lo
I
retl
them?
t
i.r t" ue'fwrat ao
for a half hour'
at the sarnesentence
u;looking
'Mrcs. -Youlryin ro memorizeil or somethin'you
tootrJit tor so iong?(aUcKY laughs'on theveryeof
crytn8.t
BucKY.Yeah.
vioi. w.tt, ,ttu,'.gt*r. Me' I got no memoryat all'
tf a biLe didn\ grabmebv theearsandpull tdedo*n'
the way. Hey! Look al you! You
ire *, fos
"totu
Payme no mind ['m Sonnalie on
b
srudvini
;ho;d
vourbed.Nicbed.
'-guii". C"ptio of everytab. SFaighlA's Drive'
heddo
e-uiiion. eolUv..r hi. rnindto do somerhing,
ii*rr.,rrii tt. liied it or not. How comeI'm not like
(si/erce)
I lry.
thal?
"
'H.v, Bucky?Readrheleller' lad'!se)would
uii..
uriiiurt *"nt to tt""t it once.I wasthere'y'know?He
iui.rt""ir aotm ana ne tead it to me. I like hearinit Ya
soundso muchlike him. Would Ya?
BucKY.I don\ havea coPY.Sorry.
l,llsos.l scrouneingin his ltdl/e/) I do He lel mecopy
mavbeI'd smd it ro somebodv
it i.-i aia. r th6ug-ht
."-.rl-.. t n*.t Jia lf ya wantto readi!, ya can Ya
tornJio t*ft tit. tnrn lHe hotdsour the dog-earcd
,iiy. I .or"nt. BIJCKYgoesto o druwt and tukes
He rcmoveso carcIullvloacd kuer'
iiion
"nuetop".
He rcads.)
__
Buck,just a note to let you know I
e";i.'o"u.
whit a placerhis yol knowwhat
olten.
thini Jyou
nobodyeuerrellsyo'rabout?ThesunselsTheskylums
a brilliantorangeandredin lheeveningl alwayslry lo
irl"
rno."nt-t o. *tt"tever is goingon to watch for
"
awhile.

.I4

SORROWS AND SONS

_ MEcs.That'show they were.I nevernoticedthem but

BvcKy. There is violence here and death but it will
pass.The sunsetsin the evening.It risesin the morning.
Life goes on. (At some momeht he is no longet rcadiig
but is reciting Jrom ,fiemory.) Do you remember the
fights we used to have when we were small? We'd be
swinging, going for the face and head and suddenly we'd
realizewhat we weredoing. We'd stop. We'd hug ech
oder. We would cry. The lhings you lhink about over
herc. Take care of the folks, litrle brother. I think of
you always. Love, Bobby.
__MEGS.I wouldn't ever sendanybody that secondpart.
That's youts. You don't mind, do ya, lhat he readit to
me fore he sent it?
BvcKY. NoMBcs. He was aiways doin stuff like that. Readin ya
stuff. Keepin morale up. We was scared so shitless but
Bobby ncver showedit so he made it easyfor us to, like,
be brave. He'd make us laugh. His beer would gei
warm, his cards'd get cold. He didnl care. He liste;d
to your troubles. You'rc just like him, stud. you take
th time to listen. I want to thank you for it. I know
you're only pretcnding to study that shit so I won't feel
bad and think you got importan! tiings to cto.
BucKt. I'm not doing that, Megs,
MEcs. Cod love you for a liar, kid. you,re a collece
sludent! You gol movieslo see,frisbesto fuck arou;d
with, basketball gams!o play! I know.
BucKY. You know, huh?
MBos. I know.
BrrcKy. (h'ith an edge) you have any friends, Megs?
MEcs. What do you mean?
BucKY. Peopleyou can talk to?

SORROWS AND SONS

45

MEGS.What do You mean, talk?

BucKy. what do you mean. whal do I mean?Talk!
The economy,the fitty mile per hour speedlimit' anythins!
Mlcs. I surecould talk about that limit! Trucks are
lhe backboneof this counlry and they are tr'ln to cul
our batls off. How do they think prcducts get anyplace?
They must think elvesbring'm in by spaceship.
BucKy. Megs!Do you haveanyoneyou can go ro oesidesme?
MEcs, Flanagan.we 8et logelher for cheeseburgers
H's like me. Most he seesa people is glimpses as they
passby in cars. And therewas Bobby
BucKY. Man. I am not Bobby.
MEcs. You're his brother.
BucKy. Exactly! You don't evenknow me!
MEcs. Surc, I do.
BucKY. You don't.
MEcs. Sure, I do. You're Bobby'sbrother.
BucKy. What is that? I get that from everybody My
mom, my dad, Bobby's old Sirlfriends. Bobbv's old
buddies.'They all look lo me for somelhing Bobby
pavem. I arn nor Bobby, man J canl be solvrngevry6odv\ Droblems.
Mrci. Probtems, veai, everybodys got problems'
Big Buck, an me, like, me, I dunno, I kp havin this
flash lately.
BucKY, No.
MEos.YOU LISTEN! I canbesittin. Ican be standin'
Anvtime. man. Like, an like, it's . . . v again l'm back'
And I'm hit. It waswhen I washit. It's not like I feelthe
Dainor nothin bul I'm hit Bobbys wilh me l look at
lim. I laugh.I saylo him. Isav . \ ell?well? whafs
rhalmean:ya lhink. He doesnlanswer'He doesnlsay

46

SORROWSAND SONS

l mean'
a word. He smiles.He shakeshishead,sadlike
(eem
to reI
how
lhal's
iL didn\ happentike thal bul
think
Yon
me'
Buclv?
tte
blames
rne.Uii it. Vou tr'int
and
Me
me?
blame
your
folks
like
do,
,qnd
tre aoesl
Ftanagan?What do You lhink- stud?..
BucxY, | (hink il'\ lime Lotorgelall Inar
v.it. Uft-nun. Yeah. But I flash And l remember'
And you, you took just like him . . .
.,
Bu;Ky. Aw. Mess, aw, vou Ihjnl he'd be failinS?
He-d be mowingthroughthis stuff like it was shorl
srass.
' l,tics. Ue sure
would! He could do
He
'ure
"outd.
u
lpi'king.up a betketballl
H.
'up.$ta.'
"".
game,
poinrs
s\\ooshi (pickine up o
"nyitet
a
tti waiL"enLr
I didnl lnow a tenHuh:?
s'
,"nn,s rarauetj Andrc
basicBobbv taughl
during
but
t"nlo
u
ftorn
nii r^"o".i
_ sinceI
meio ptav. was it fun? Been a long time
ptayed.
BucKY. You want tol
MEos.You'd PlaYwith me?
BucKY. Next time l'm home.
M!cs. Or I could stop bY hereagain!
BucKy. Or in lhe mean time you could teachsomebody else.For practice.Teach Flanagan'
Mrcs. He'd want to learn?
BucKY. Sure he would
Mrcs. l d likelhat Hey.l'm gonnagelthalbig whore
playin.
BucKY, Creat!
rrrioi. I'rn p."tty good. Not as good as Bobbv but
sood enoughl
_
-And
you and I qill play whenI get home:
BucKY.

vils. or wrrJnr sropbv| (BUCKYis backinsMEGS

tov/arats the door. ) I'm gonna buy some stuff tomol_

SORROWSAND SONS

4'I

like an
ro$. One a them melalracquelsBet you feel
You are
your
hands
in
a
lhem
g"t
one
vou
"iiron*i,
on, slud!
BucKY.Terrilic.
MEcs.Hev, and l'm buyin thebeeratter'
BucKY. f let You.
MEos. You aidt bu]'rn nothin'
BucKY.Fjne with me.
loaded'
i't"or. g"v, vou needsomebucftsno'r? I'm
set'
I'm
BucKY.
M!cs. You gotta Put out or srul_.
*o iu.*i. Vogethet) ot lock the doors on
liii.
Pitt!
Fort
' "vro..
y.ntt: St"p rn. tive! An we ll go crui'in for colcottegegirl! Man' I bet college
r.".
nitli ur*- g..i
'""r?r'i'.
"na
t"""l"i L"", t mfitri uekindaweirdandI

heart\in lherjght
t;uckbut.mv
"
",.t lor somelnlng .
olace"and that coun6

iri'.

pii, i"

- -.
lhe
BLcKy. ICs a dale' Megs,you got ir' lHe opens
it
easy'
lake
door.) So, lhten, You
MEcs. Oh l'm leaving?
BucKY.
"ul-"o.. Yeah.
l love you Well' you
Vout.
-i"" u U.uuriful t(id
this
well
Bobbv
g""d
Like
a"
*"
be
finish""i"
pili
unles\
soinslo
voule
l"iJ iiii,il. ir'.

b\tl
iii iii" - t t"t",i eucx v canrcied him\ Hev
' no'
ume'
lost
lor
up
I sorrabe malin
ffi;k;;"y"i.
Well. . . .
gucxv.lteavinc hin at l'? door) It's beengood seeins
vou, Megs.
'''"rvi".-ot
la_iot, g"u.t. \vEOs gands in lhe dooNa'
He tunts lo leave He lrcezes Silence l
B(CKY.Whals the matter'What'sthe malter'
long
il-rcs. wf,en vou ctose your eyesafter drivin a

48

SORROWSAND SONS

time. the road still comesat you. lt's like a rollercoastel'

Noiienery. tne tinescomeat you. The soundoI the enand rc'
einecoula Ueanyttring t He slomsthe do.or-shut

iriitl ,iio tn" ,oo^ lt;mme stav'man!I'll bequiei'I

Theres
s*earro Holy ChrisrI wiu. Bucky?I'm beggin
ini r."tin ;n rnv guLsand if I drive I just know I'm
.i" rti- i"iltin ut the side of the road with his
'"""u
Ihumbout.
BucKY.Who.
M!os. Oh! You fuckhead!What is \rtoDg with you'
I'Jii
uen talkin to vou all night and you ain't
me!
hearin
'-sui*;.
probvou and your problems.everybody's
me
Leave
lems.makemewanl lo diel Cet oul of here!
aloneto do whatI haveto do:
MEcs.Sludy your books Take your tesl\' I wlsn
vou'dseenil. Packedin a skyjeepto whoknowswhere'
loose'
iri Jo"n, .tan Ltrro*inusoul andall hellbreaks
Lhev
ditch
and
off
ii.in. e"ptotiont Thechopperlakes
jockeys:
c-opter
Lousy
feer.
itr. tut, ot ut trom lwenty
inlntrin ot norlin uut rhiir own asteswhal werewe?
iomaioesfflanaeantallswrongandbrealshisankles
g.ity
him then I sethir' Shirhead:
.i
^,i*,.)"n
"";
l
mel
Whv'dhe comebackfor
you
methis How manyllmes
tell
lime
B;cKy. Every
this?
hear
to
I
have
do
MBcs.Hear it again,fuckass!Youl brothercame
bact<for meand treopenedup like a rosein front of my
ii"i. gi. gu,t.urn. ou, lo greetme Aw' christ nobodv cares.(He slorls lo extt t
tableandmulters
BLcKy.Mv dadsitsal thebreakfast
my rnom
christmas-and
go
for
home
in; his coffe. I
man'
favorite'
my
was
He
tree.
of
ihe
in fton,
"oua
wh"n *" tn.." kids, l'd wakeup at nighl and I'd go

SORROWSAND SONS

49

do$n the hall lo his room and l'd tap him on lhe
lo
it'ouia., nna l'd sav. wake up. Bobb)' I don'l wanl
in'
me
ler
and
covers
pull
the
back
He'd
;i.;;;i"";.
Leltme storiei ritt I lell adeep Don\ vou tell me
ill
You gotla put out or shil or lock Ihe
ooUoOv
""ra.:
nolhin from looking over
doora.-t"n. Nobody gels
-would have changed bv now if
Things
ii.;t"}t..ia*.
DeoDledid. I can\ help you (siknce)
"-ni"o.. nu, yu
. he was. . he talkedto me like I
"".rattredLo me. Bobby
Bobby
'
wasnt a aip.'ue
<cared
or
qere
you
ueren'l
you
him
wilh
clowed,When
iir.J. wr'"n he srood next Io va. you wereni weird or
sostv *"t jtst like thal And he woulda ingiven
"o"i"..J.
.. o".t t,i a;nnit somelimesand il woutda
"i"a tu.tt
to be with him l woulda felt that
"tt"te"
waskeepn lobs A truckdriver'
s_ot"on.,"tota"tt",at.
-"
pul!n
irarelin: buvin guys spaghelti'nburgers'nfries'

i.'G-i,il.ubiso babescandance'blosin
"i*r.il
itro'i oavctrecrtgerL;nslrangersbeers'nslow gin fi7les:
.ofoii (.o"s it-t'". come or gone l ajnl feelin sorry
i"i-isetl or nortrin, gucky lt's jusl me You ?rrewhal
i"ouui". ii"it \v;rrteoubv had lived so he couldainvited
'"r. oi., tit ainn* {silef,cetwetl. heyrhere' vou big
gollagel
swinging
dick: I ool at me $atin yourtime l you
keep
you,
slud
Aeena*fut good seein
u tno_te-on.
that big swingin dick from dmggin
BucKY.I will.
MEcs, And we are gonna play tennis Donl lorget
BUcKy.l won l.
MEas. And I'll be buyin lhe beerafler' remember'
BucKY. Yeah.
MEGS.Thanks for your time, Big Buckaroo'
BucKY. Sure.
MEOS.YOu Studynow. You get an A

50

SORROWSAND SONS

BucKY. Yeah.
MEcs. Oh, dear lotd. (Suddenl! MEGS embruces
RUCKY; srcbs hin up in his ams and hugt htm desDerutelv-EUCKY| h;nds sta, at hb sde; he doe'n't rc'tu
lie embrace.)You look so much like hjm ( HP tetea.eshin. ) Spiltin image.I ll sayhello Io Flanaganlor
ya.
BucKY, Thanks.
MEcs. I hardly everspeakto that son of a bitch but I
will.
BucKY. Thanks, Megs.
MEGS.Well. . . adios.(MECSer.its.Silence.BUCKY
ctosesthe door. More silence. He paces with Srob'ing
anxietr. Suddenl! BIJCKY lurtts and pulls open the
door.)
Bucrv. Megs! Hey, Megs! Wait a second, Megsl
Mess!!! (Si/erce BUCKY sags.He turns and rctredts'
defeated. into the rcom. Silence.MEGS quiell! entefi )
tuns, startled, They stare at
MEcs. Yeah? (rUC(y
Buc(Y. Lik I was thinking
Mscs. Yeah?
BucKY, [t's late.
MEcs. Yeah.
BLcKy. Maybeyou oughtaspendthe nighl You geta
eood resl, You'll make lime lomorrow. I mean' wha's
;he rush on air condilioners in December, right? What's
the rilsh on steel humping bleachers. So. You want to?
MEos. You want me to stay here?
Buc(y. You can take my bed. I have a down bag in
the closet.I useit all the time.
MEGS.What about Yout test?
BucKy. The hell with it. Pisson it. I could passit with
my eyes closed. You want to staY?

SORROWSAND SONS

5I

Mros. You really want me to.

BucKY, VelY much.
Mrcs. You big, beauliful whoreBICKY, We could go buy somebeer'
MEcs. You great, big beautiful whorel
BucKY. You \tant to?
MEcs. Fuckin A, studhoss!
Bucrt. We could go in your rig. I've nevetbeenin a
i4rcs. Buckv, lou neverbeenin an eiShteenwheeler?
gi,."v. .roi tnortrettr,rm
pin oncel IMEAs lakes ofl
heod'l
jams
BUCKYS
it
on
hiscap and
M!;s. Oh. Bic Buck, you are gonna be very rmprissed.genha iia beauliful!roman. Shejusl ridesand
iiaes.t'lleo warmherup.IMEGs"xils BUCKYtlands
iorionles's. He suddenly laughs. as clean and cleor as a
itl. H? putls he cap down tght on hb head')
--sui;J.
whooooit'"oool lHe exi!, Liehtsfade to
black.)