i.

i am, inside, a terrible person.

ii.

they run towards the stairs with a childish glee and a vicious, wicked intent. i run right after
them.

what are we seeing? i ask.

this girl, answers one of the girls with a sloppy smile that curls in malice, they say she
looks so hot in her instagram pictures but like, upfront shes like the ugliest. its all a farce.

yeah, laughs another, what kind of filters does she use? whats her photoshops
edition?

i cant help but think how ugly this is.

this isnt fair, i want to say. youve made her do that, she needs to be pretty for you
because you demand that of her. she only goes out of her way to look pretty because
youve made it an obligation. this isnt fair, i want to say, she doesnt deserve this.

instead, i laugh along and go ha! where is she?

ii.

weve always thought well, you see how he acts

i look at my hands. i know how he acts. i frown despite myself, whats wrong with how he
acts? its there, at the back of my head, the reason why shes saying this but i dont want to
think about it.

i look at her quizzically. weve tried all kinds of methods to ask him about it, but he always
deflects us and waves the questions away. but like, its obvious.

whats obvious? i want to ask. theres nothing obvious. whats a way of standing or talking
or being got to do with who you love? i know how he stands and how he laughs.

why are you making it sound like a bad thing?

instead i say, oh and look away as he goes up the stairs with his effeminate way of doing
it.

iii.

this is a work in progress

because im also one