Bucks Break

There once was a man with the swankest of houses and the most
grandiose mansions, an assemblage of servants, the finest
furnishings laced with gold and silver, Lamborghinis, Ferraris, and
the like; but as if the decks had not yet been stacked enough in his
favour, God had also endowed him with the most devilish of good
looks. Now a man of any stature could attract love with wares even
half as great as his, but this man (well call him Buck) was what one
may call the full package: he was handsome, rich and charming;
the heterosexual prize indeed. But Buck had one problem; his
relationships NEVER lasted more than a day.

Our story begins on the day of Bucks 243rd marriage, to a lovely girl
called Stella. As Buck stood at the end of the isle, waiting eagerly for
his bride, he drummed his thumbs into his ribcage as he crossed his
arms and clutched onto his sides. He looked up through his lashes
watching her tiptoe down the isle. He smiled weakly as he thought
back to all of the many times he had been in this very building,
upon this very spot on the velvet red cathedral carpet, hoping for
this one to be the one.

Now Buck was a man of strong belief, and he had two rules for
himself that could not be broken under any circumstances. The first
rule was that he was not to engage in intercourse with a woman
who he had not already pledged himself to in marriage. And second,
he would never discuss his intimate affairs, for any reason, with
anyone who was not his wife. Every one of his 243 ex-wives had
agreed to these terms wilfully, and Stella, the 244th, did not diverge.

After the wedding, on the day that their honeymoon would have
begun, Buck was called off to a very important business meeting on
the other side of the country forcing him to leave his new wife alone
for a three days. After carrying her across the mantle of his lofty
upstate mansion, Buck explained the situation and begged for her
forgiveness. For a man in his position, a situation like this was not
entirely uncommon; and knowing this, Stella complied with his
requests, agreeing to patiently await his return.

Before rushing off to catch his plane, Buck reached into his pocket
and pulled out the large key ring, holding the entirety of keys to
unlock every door in the house. As he placed the heavy ring into her
outstretched hand, he looked her in the eyes intensely.

Now Stella, I am entrusting you with every room in this

house, as my wife you can explore the place in all its entirety,
until your heart has grown content one-thousand times over; but
there is one thing that I must ask He paused.
Stella nodded slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on his. Her mouth fell
open slightly as her grip tightened around the key ring.

Please. If you love me truly and dearly, do not ever enter the
red-door room at the end of the west-wing hall. Upon my return,
we will explore that room together; but I can not allow you to
enter if I am not by your side. He closed his eyes and gulped.

Do you understand?

Stella nodded slowly and broke eye contact. Right then the head
butler hopped down the stairs and ushered Buck towards the door;
in a rush, the two young lovers embraced, then whispered their
goodbyes and shared a chaste kiss before Buck was forced to dash
out the door to catch his plane. Stella stood in the doorway waving
hesitantly, before the chauffer drove him off and out of sight.

On the plane, Buck was more anxious than ever. His palms were
shaking and sweating too much for him to even pick up the tall
glass of champagne on his table tray. He drummed his thumb and
forefinger onto the Brie as he imagined what Stella might be doing
with her newfound freedom.

Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Stella was skipping from hall to

hall, up and down the grand marble staircases, and in and out every
doorway she could find. Though Stella was absolutely budding with
curiosity and excitement, she did not once even come near the
bright red door, which she was forbidden from unlocking. She prided
herself as a woman of the most honourable intentions; and knowing
her limits, she did not give into temptation. The room could wait
until Buck would be able to share the experience with her. She
smiled proudly to herself as she plopped down onto a comfy sofa in
the main library and peeled open her favourite fiction.

Buck on the other-hand was too stressed to even function. He kept

thinking of every wife in the past, he thought of every time theyd
betrayed his trust. It was maddening. He kept brewing and stewing,
ruminating in the wares of his past and getting more and more
anxious. Visions of dishonesty and betrayal raced around in his
head, yanking him into a fit of worry and rage. Unable to handle it
any longer, Buck called of his meeting promptly and got onto the
next plane heading back home. With his head swimming in
negativity, he tilted his head back and drifted off into a restless
slumber.

As the plane glided down the runway of the upscale private airway,
Buck jolted awake in his seat. Sliding back into consciousness, he
remembered all that had gone on in his head before falling asleep,
and narrowed his eyes as he thought of his private room being
violated. Once he met the cab at the airport, he slipped in and
ordered the chauffer to get him home as swiftly as possible, and
they promptly sped off towards the house.

No sooner than the moment they pulled up the drive, Buck flew out
of the car and made a beeline directly to his red-door room. He
hopped up the stairs, down the hall, and around the corner then
stopped dead in his tracks as he faced the door. The door hung ajar
and yellow light flowed out into the darkened hallway. Buck
clenched his fists and stepped forward, ready to confront Stella for
disobeying his only request.

Morals:

1. Dont wait till marriage if you have some weird ass kinks.
Seriously. You cant just go out on a limb and hope your partner is
going to be okay with your enormous dragon dildo collection, or that
fucked up cd you have to listen to before you can get it up.
Honestly, just save yourself the time and make sure youre
compatible. Youll end up much better off own the road.

2. Dont compare your past relationships to your present ones.

Everyone is not the same. When you compare people to each other
and build expectations from the past, you set yourself up for a world
of disappointment. And even if youve had 999 bad relationships,
that 1000th one may just be the exact thing youve needed all along.
Every time you assume someone is just like the others, you let go of
the possibility that theyre not like everyone else (and you may
miss out on the one person who actually might like to shove their
whole arm into your ass).

3.