Minin cou have been anythin MohameiIbeina des not miter I survived and many dd not Tied on i the sae way tit they died. Thee nd difference between ‘bir deih id ny surtval, for Lreiauined olive i a wor that as ‘been permanentiy and irreversibly marked by thie death. | come from Seebrénica. Asa mater of face, Icon for somewhere cs, ‘Bub be do be fiom Srebrenica. Sieben isthe onl pce T date to cote frost aid twas ony to Srebrenica tse de to set aucime when Idared 1 go nowhere else. That isthe peccise season Ebel thatthe place of bichisitrlevant compared to the pice of death The former does not say anything about us = itis 2'mece geographical fact the place of death ells everything about cor epavictions, belt, the choices we made aad stood by right wel the end, wel ach cough up with ws ‘Mabe all oF this wrong, maybe you cannot choose your place of death aie al jus lke you cannot choose your place of birth [As for thera, they ded where they were born, where they: sought wd refuge in che years of war, where they survived say after day in.a shared agony. They chose Sicbrenica in orde to, survive andhis makes thei death all he more terible cs ‘tn. mid May 1992, teo8 of thousands. of people poured into Srebrenica, ling an onslaught by Setb forces. The atlecy of the JNA.was grinding down Villages and towns and, de datk smoke rising in the air ominously announced what was yet «9 come. Units of vokonteers-rom Serbia were leaving Bloody trl behind them, sending sifvivors ahead with blood:chiling stories. In the second week oF May after thordughly perng it dhe Serbs "dei Srebrenica, and i is on this town at dhe boriom of a steep and narrow valley that tens of thousands of despente people converged. Among them were mi friend fay acquaintances, my family and L vas ro meet many people over the neff thre yeas, before the fall ofthe enclave formed in tht stmmerff 1992, Some of them tookthe pice of my cosine klein 1994 br of Serb fends who had brocily betrayed me, andi was here chet experienced cera things ose is ane omy Bu hae al bad comm wn Feng of cosmic soles, such ply hove sented fo leat can fel Wie served each other, convinced that twas Highly profable we woald nor sce cach thes next uy, and deat the felng tat his would ot change wnyhing Ser Bogie gong the hundreds, probably thousands of people Te [lewis an od min whose, trengh of spikepe uptning me tot and agin Followingsoeuperiven ue ely snyhole neighbourhood wool ather ics ase gate discussing huey ada oo sai tha ee nto, ond futon the frontine In moments of common despa whee Al blvd cit waste ead ad such : Si, ip is dep tobaecbncarted voice od aay coc ot! nsetaine by fying that ‘eveything wl be much bacetan we ener Wem jn july 095 ‘Seb forces fitally = since it had been sea rarer of time —overran the town be too perished: Tn dewh, or eth tthe ment we fie to exis, the ig no diternce ~ gs chamber, asl execution Stee eacherous fh Of s metal blade in the dati, paint ighfor vee ne the fl ke of the knife. Ten choulyad people fen thousind eof, ten thowsand gravestones ~ yaa en iran Everythi Keown sbou har death, ot as we no peed that we ack to know everything, We violateliheie death ib newspaper columns, never asking ourselves question about th life. We do nor know toying abou lose people who were mot any eho more wonder, good'or had than azyone ese, Wonder in so far is they were man. Atlin wo fdas {Knew thera : ducing he tre yam of wae etnve gotthere, the town was “eter “We had! been Wrest formar of the dapat Sebporions cab, ening ou it o's enage boy whe tied to know yo the tour, Tie ai ha ole os al hea was BF zreat Kelp 6 Us, ee etl sinr tad stayed behind wth site dai reas in Se cof ih vilages in tal pik (Giory nei Selec tha ba not ye! ber, ake by she Sexbs The previous yw had heard on the sao tht row had been Tbe and dvd oy and get ee not kaolin or te if ven that mach wa re * Sing Bay we hhad been waiking from one village to another, ain ver ight bith ciffeer reaoes wea ever Bt Bore ‘Troms only nk wo mother howe fr was tat we fi 5 mages {oF th night. We had lost everything oversih SECS ES Botner wort Noe aged ct fof weak afd mothe, weaving Ee’ ue Gey ake, wes she had managed ro bing lone rch logger we co manag, Found, father biden behind. the igi sting against the vg and yiped his fice with is hands shin 1 Den kid, whic ing ned or Beja forever changed out aon: Tes is iden scoff fot Serena and chink his Uistrated gute wel the extent ofthe despair ozo which he had soak slog ‘Sisal of us"The boy of my.own age who, 925 opr iden a a3let Seebreica, and i ison this town atthe bottom of a steep anu narrow valley that tens of thousands of desperate people converged. Among them were my fends ny sequainance, my family and Twas to meet many people ove the next thre years, before che fal of the enclave formed in that sramer of 1992, Some of them took the place of my cousins killed in 1992 or of Ser tends who tad bray becrayed me, and it ws here that I expesienced certain ching forte Est ie in mye, But what weal ad a emg vas feeling of cosmic solitude, such as gly those semen) > cleat can fel We observed each oes, convinced hat was highly probable we would nor se gach other ney, and defeated by the feeling cha he would gp change anything Satie Beye was among the andres, probably. hotsands, of people I met He was an old man whore,erength of spt kept suprsng me inca spp Flings sowie al ey ny whole neighbourhood Would gather sthsarden gare discussing ‘what he had head onthe radio that dy en in he tog, od allbelieve that it wae te end ~ and such Scesions were numerous chrng the sre years of war_"Suciin his deep tehneevacaerd ‘oie, woul always conchde i our conversation by fying that “everything will be mach beterhan we exec When in Jay 1995 Sed fores finaly — sine had ben just fitter of tthe overran the town he to perished In death, or rather atthe moment we celse'to exist, ther is fo difference ~ gs cham Cf a metal blade i the dark, Paina! Sigllor rate and the al stzoke of the knife, Ten thouind peopl|ften thousifd coffins, houtand gravestones = yélaty ten thbusandl Everhidg known about that dest, ora Bast we ac pretend that we want 16 know eventing, We volatede death in aewspaper columas, never asking ourtelves questions sbout thei fe, We do not know anything about all those people who were not any less or more ‘wonderful, good or bad than apyone ele, Wondedfl insofar 4s wine... Ja moments of common defpat, whea we estwe got there, the town was ‘deéerted“We had been Senay fosmin ofthe day pasing the Seb-poions ‘arb, entrusting ou lives to a teenage boy who dated to Kfow shea 0 te town erin li! us al the way was of “ae % Sn eee eae eae ee tice cae : i ne Ste No one liad chatiged clothes So a pts fe mee Bota ome rere changed our eons Troost esos for Seen ed {ik seed apie alec of the despa which he had slong Sue aT oC tebe boy of my own age who wurde int 3group containing anther tmnen and sfomen, was the son ofa friend of his and also our distant relative, Thad only just started to scoer tht this asa comnfuiy where te were al connected in tome wa. : i One of the women walkie behind uf nthe line was exeying 4 chit born enya coeple of ponte ext, The eld woe eng the whole time and we were ying at hee skng hero uc She would bush and sy tha ae could oi forging tat we were {getting closer tothe Serb positions. As th guide warned us Ue we thd reached the most dangedus stretch if the road, where Sab bunkers were some fifty mertes away on|ioth sides of the road, the cll sent And ste sent forbear an hous, the tne ‘we needed to go pat Pie the Silage we fest ne ‘When Nihad A. hat wis de ame of ur gue = tora back {0 from the head of the Ik to sy thf we were ow ae the child burs et crying solo that I feb it was making up for every second of see. But now wf di not mind i sera mote we enjojed it Tha baby xy was fru sgn sign that we were outof danger ee We foundanabendoned town grey and depeessed, with steams rain owing dove te step vets The hose inthe ceed teen burned down, teiechatfed remains stl fh The Seb ad Jette town 2 day or possi two days earien afer Gran Ze, Dresden of the Scbrnia bianch af SOS, had bean le simple and sole expansion I bead at fat me wa that Zac ‘ad pecshed in an abot, tether wile young nan ho had killed him by theowing a bot onco his thr, This had become a commonplace in the war, I was ready to believe it, Supposedly the bomb was bandana ike fe ones Tha se see Sela ok simple manufacture, made with a couple of hundred geams of ynamite and packed with seve, nals ad shep fagioents of ‘meal that would be widely seitired by theesloson, ft Serb sovices always'claimei! that Haka Meholi’s tfoops-had killed Zetia he wa coming jack rom the fan of ste So toler. However, athe nex thee yeas of varand desis ends theory emerged according to which Ze hey Bure fn focal SES pole, in fact die as.the ces of a confit with SDS hard-iners, as personified by Delivoje SorakThe later, who ss commander of the Seb forces at Srebrénie, was inthe ca.vith him and sorvived the ambush, Following Zekic'death,-he and another hardliner Miodiag,Joki issued press statements fill of contradictions, afer which they were brey held in custody but eventually ceased Jt ‘eas astie when the enemy was clea defined and any porential Conflict within the Serb leadership had to be concealed. ‘Despite the face thar Meholje's soldiers were atthe time fae aay ftom jhe se of, ee murder, we all somehow believed in cour expination, becaie je meant that out forces were capable. of causing serious. damage tthe Serbs. Serb sources had no imerest in spreading a diferent erry, 0 in the end both sides were happy to go along with that : - ‘When we arrived, the town was stil kind of a no-man’ land i che tom its dere yas noone, just the oc inhabit ho had lived téverl weeks of teror Pleased 0 fin fies, hey {Bids Howe Serb, only the day before, ad packed everything 6 aT ont trucks nd lef the rows in panic. #*"s “Tg Hd defen inthe tection of Skelani to the Zouth of the owes in to Serbin“or alo the lef Bane of Dring towards Bratunae It wad ft longer and less comfortable route, but the shofterand beiter one, which went io the noth ofthe rove through Potoéat, was closed. amid Api a group of White Sieg Bading che attack on Braténac~ ad been killed ini aenbush ‘on ict way-bstk fom Seebrenca. The ambush was organised by [Naser Orig former olicemaalfror Seebrenici-ard a gfoup of poorly amedyouni’nicis “2. ¢ ~ oe ‘That wes thesis sg of sesstnce: Only a couple’of months Ine, Seebreniea ould become the-Rescliberated fown in Bosnis Herzegovina, Or eather it was not ibézted, since scarcely any bate was fought fort. The Serb did nof oset but gave up on i realsing that although beter armed they woukd not be able. defend it: And that natrow valley beeame the ony place heres couldieck refuge. = : ; Treas 18 May 1992. wae my Ss ay in Seebenica. was 10 1ssy therefor another ee ya more than a hound da tha would abe nial to neater But membe at er day icin fomall ots days stands out fom ong monoonoas soccenon of dy probably iy beast mathe Se ‘What emember it fren abl ping in and spring wos ae hat yur ge fds beaghom or hole and back pene our wet cles ale ember erage ay ‘har loed ominous, thoughfoack then feo have not lors why dat war oI remember as proabl the ony dy a mye ‘hen fetrcomplet feed range asa mays, ie ht the town twas cicireled by the Serbs. The dly when for the FtT time {fae and twas al fet ee inner lne wo suvne. 2 Onis onth eat dg her Th yea spe ot manner ote aoe aes 1 ilgrnasBeaage coe) eta ae ale tpg yar ne hy re ng’ eat thy tenga oe ee ccnoced opr Seed he es een ee tod uned iy Dauner af Beene cera ohee NA nden tea eae Gr oc ae iy a pa ad de re foe eagh Banas all en ee Snes Pemaren seats aetener eee disconnected, That was the Hana for us to leave our houses and hide in the woods above the illage. One of our neighboursidrove a car into the woods, thus demonstrating not only his impressive diving skills but also dhe ‘insanity that had affected him along with ws al Iewas Zastna 10 thanks to which we were at last able to listen to the news from & weak radio set “The rest ofthe country wis aeady at war and we sa therefor dyson end, confsed and seared without much alking, Everyone tras concerned about is own fara. Some went back the vile night sleep at home af by ding so they sought 0 deny the fealty of what was happening us'At dawn they woud rear to the woods, stupid and naively belceing we were safer up there. On the day of 12 May 1992 whea Radio Bosia-Heresgorina announced that Lieutenan-Generl ‘Ratko Mladié bad béen tominated commander of: JNA tops in the county (or ore precisely cominander of she Second Military Distie of the JNA), ‘Muslim vlagesatoded Braunscatarted being ston fie. Teas 2 coincidence =such a widespread persecution of the population ‘must have been pinned much eer butitwasa coincidence that id not aogor wel We had been hiding fortwo weeks already since tid Api and were by-now well aro May without knowing what ‘was to come, That day all our doubts were set atest, ‘News from the cutoff and occupied town were brought tous by Tho , «boy neknamed Zuo fellow because of his yelbw: ‘lager hair and the coundess fcckes ofthe same colour on his face Hews fiteen or seen sears old, but because of his size no cone would have thou in older than twelve. People were geting increasingly nervous without cguete, so they gave him smal bundles of worthless Yugoslav money to goto toxin and fetch them some. They, were not able or did not dae o doit thefaselves The road was swarming with Se baceads, but Zac rode pat them ‘oma bicycle so big that his fet could searcly reach she pedals and he aly cae bac wi there packs of Fler gua. = 4 ‘Alongwithigateshebrosghtinformasion ling whereabouts he had sen‘each of our Serb neighbour, now weaing camouflage uniforms and caring. machine gus. He was the fst 10 tll us, to four hort, that he Sexe were gathering hen Som ncary vlogs, in the basement of thé Vale Keradtié primary schol, Tetifid, 1 heard how a eran dee ad been killa man T ew only 28 the diver of my shool bus Seb ois had put him aginst wall abd repeatedly ven the bus no him uni he died. "Tac da, when Ibo setured from town, he tol us how he haBe throug he barcade by Renko Obrenovi howe painter froma eghboutng vag who had los his hand. we paying ‘vith a bomb foynd a couple JF years after the Second World War, Tew dha tory had ead it before fom hs som Aleksandar Obrenowie, my best fiend fim hook] had been tos Bouse couse ines thad shared lchoo desk ith hin or i year His father was now manning dfurseade, She armed clumsy she ‘must have looked with asf nd my metres footed bck During my ast eof psidlary schol Slobodan Mite ‘an bureavert ection’ dhe wel under, she lenersipe In Montenegro, Vojvodina ad)Kosovo wi removed se tension grcwin tier pucsof the form Vagos I wiesned che pact thove eyes had on every lif. A boy fom my dans ately the child of amined marae, shih i edly oe lena this story cursed mp “Tucish meher during lesson. {else then forthe fit inet, for easons best my enrstang was somchow diferent from sore oF my schoclnates. OF course, I wated or hi after cass Iwas deeply hurt and vated ose the newt nees. Aleksandr ine eat Dartsan observe. AWe Moock him down and staré bcing hr Ashe rolled sbout in pin, Aleksandar pt hicking hin and ey, theough cleached teeth: ‘Fac your Chetik mothe” Hla bos cacrying the nae of the 6 tbe Serbian throne ssa 1902, defended my Turkish honour back then A couple of year ltrs father stood srmed ata buricade Tate, daring the war] asked sround 29 fad out what bad Iappene him. 1 found outta he hal tine extly ae ne hina asi who on gun day wold throw amnion Boxes into Re, then laughs is deep, dazed eornrades a. they ‘an fom the wences lke things dd nor mk whether he ‘emembered how he had ones defended “Tare. Soon afer Tozo told us about what he had seen and head in town, thick pills of lightcoloued smoke sated ing fom villages nthe hls around. the. town. Weetatched, forte ft time we watched with our!own eyes how other people's. houses. burn, jus a we woul later se our own houses busting, An 18 ot want to belive it-Oc rater-we did not dare ro béeve ie becnse mea ua fs td been ch ‘On the-tight ~the Serbian bank of the Drina,.2 long column of tg treks covered in white apie peti lnget: We outed up to thi of ther and then gave wp asthe tucks headed towuris Bataan, While the vilages burned, Serb soles chased the population ou of te hil own tothe main road wherein 3p incredibly synchronised operation;trucks waited fe them ina Kine sehose end was alin Serbia. That night ey father woke me up and whispered wo me to get dressed quickly Sill asleep T obeyed and ge dence inthe slack, hurrying to leave the house and join him out where he ws ‘hig impel Wih him waling infront of gw set off, {Ed not know where to Aer near an hour ade trough the ‘woods we gor eo a clearing where a couple of hundred méa Kad Tread gatered. e was way fir midnight and te bubbub on the Imo tars deo oie. fa Broo ele ome them aed, ptsted and cnsinsed on father towards village ‘hep in therhile The lest proup stayed poe on the meadow decndesing wha todo. " liber and ef at dawn, Wih 0 Jus C, ou coun and gion ho ad nt Pooh sales This we § vilage on the border betwcen te two municipalities of Brarunae Cepeled population from tie Dena valley wat already guheniig there. Dien ad broken when; ate continvous climbing we got ti clerng below ic oud meade We had to cr toad there were no Serbs on the oti ide and e wou be'afe “tere, a safe as"was possible. To the left Was & inagniicent view ‘ofthe Dri, hich suetched though geen fds Th dew that tha bull'bp 6h my shoes was coming thoogh, masking iy toes wet and Tasch, But 1 cold not ake my eyes off the et, trove beau than ever hoe seventeen yeas that I bad spent roving up‘oa its bank: Ie was ll the more bel becase 1 Hl should never gin swim nis rept newer spin dive ino it atthe sf breaking my necAfter aboatan hour and abl of walking towards the southwest ve reached the ou A car dre by betowus This was the moment that we had to rum across the ad and th mb up tell onthe oxher se; before theca ettned or semeone ese tnd up. At one point we hed the sou ck down inthe high go, without Enosing the people in the carhad spotted us. Whenhe note filed, we got up again and continued ouerovre wo Poclthik, §l = “Tint So he tig 1p callin te doormpon he frm sep ofa hase belong one of he many of ou osc estore Iwo upinabed where ny era probaly ed ine A cope anges by doe w me iy deel ne mye man I had neve sen before, my Eat swine "om ot op and cad ecing fim fo th egowed hoe, He ts ide th ny mothe and tr who had Sed th previous tight na group of sere hundred women and ee Norther Sd ws tha al he oh eaten eal te ke noo Tad Stender wth new Serb aunts who had pica the fey and page o Tila What it more Gry bert Imi, had been ok fru dedybfoeinuydstin th ‘ood inode to yan pee wo surenet Thee moots te wend ot dal pur aes who fad sured ud been ‘executed by fring squad. The eldetly who, obeyed the authorities? ovo oa in tage a ‘howe kl and he barman From tem we wept on of acta vag’ Stored, Mother ew of agoter dst rte there whom we oil ay for ight 1 donot know how long we sayed te Buta tat vllage ad some eighbouing one Be roup wee lca Being orgie wo snd wp agus what one btcalyeled te Sec Testor] Defence, Wanung wo demons ti spans, thon rope decided nach he Serb potions aveoing st containg the oad ro Beta othe lend min in ae » ‘The aack ws doomed ofa frm he aan in ft ded in wal nen Pod ted, he men bad no cance of eo. Dts te or cena ae on ong oe yer crt sey ws real in shan own ne Seb tench cach cong fi ts expong sel? tacos Arlen there wen als ae mein Noster enenteed we had yt aot cousin in Sender tnd fae er on te ratte new at Seen wa thet, he fo any sds ‘The'next day we set off who were to follow our example, Nove of my eGmpanions on that ovtney i lve! oso, with whom I left home, died in July 1995 nea fe teritory in a group that ngs ying wo get throug from Srebreniea #9 Tea on foot Nitads who brought me to Srebrenic cid no survive fl 1995.My father tuned home and ded inhi gaeden in December 1992. i ahe folowing mates are terest faut Yen Yvesation wth a av of ‘nie who aus imprisoned i the gain Salih ear Vise Hi fot soho incidental Red ny meigaurbood, 3 arr: be and bis fatter ere imprisoned, bs mtbr ad ister were dere t Klan. His fatter ss later mated Afr bs imbronment ite cans be we aed and carved Srebrenica in ay eber 1992, He wa oe of th i'l ‘ho got th ob kerr tld by btrames ors fer tbe alof Smee iy 1995. Tay B sin be Ud ‘annymol. do not know exactly how much time I spent in the camp. I wns imprisoned at the end of May and set free in mid June. ‘Deve ‘hem to Cersa, lt them starve co death, sida soldier who stopped four bus on its way 10 Kladan)‘The diver made « U-tutn without a \word, He apologised for not being able to deve us any further. We ha to walk: about 10 ki to our feontlines in Cerska. “The first perton T met on my arrival in he camp was the camp, govemnor Dragan Nikolic ~ ‘Jenk’, He came in through the door snd suddenly al che prisoners puléd back, They al pressed tg Jina corner as if they wanted to be as tny.and invisible as possible s0 a8 to avoid being noticed‘or sticking out in"any way that would atzact his atention, As he opened the door I happened to find myself between him and a prisoner, ~"Where are you going?” "To the toilet” slap Tid not bens the punch coming! bjt el ver: tas shot droagh my head ; "Get ack ther” Too hm te he came buck vo or the tines day and tools utes espera gt comeck No di the oot ile! Lake woul ie thm ot, Me, ood nd ae anc bse yagi He po tap sreone "Wout They gion sg hae ee ewig ey had bag tment gent ny a iE were bemen every, suds: ps then ony seventgen ears okd ibe, wasjcoyered in bruises, Daring the fist Steen days of imptsonment, before got jo SySica, I had 19§ eaten anything 1 tn sometimes managed to get the prison guards in Vinsniga ot me gq thetolet, wher I ropa drink of water, had aren io 2g could bazly stan up. On the frey in Subca 2 wor velo had jstaeved fro one of the recently eeansed vilages clost tq ViSeenica gaye me some byead. I ate half jlo straight fovay and then’ hinted, My body could not eope with that ra food ata time. nad not been eo the toilet for about ewenty.das8, and since leaving the hangar could be fatal T'was relict fo ask ‘We never Ife the hangar and if we went outside for one pigment sve were eaten S wee Phe sete 1 r ‘Ets henner sm ho — th metal pointed stig wig ‘able, basal bats They wl ticks ete imo sarnebne nh, i gees how agua suc # Spe ie in a mags eth, The than an} othet and the mat, Nad ‘sahlloted arly the whole of i Sometimes T lst fy voice singing ‘Chik songs. On one occasion I remembet chagting ‘Kingdom Cf Serbia’ for sore than ro hours, During that time in SusieaT could nor get to sleep. In fact sleep was impossible: guards would 2constant eter de hangar asdomly beat the people who wee pied on wp of ach ober mibedate = tee Twas ape i il Rome togecwh hy ge Thy promised thi thy would nf do us ay'han Wha smoke iney $e Nowhing wl apps lyr fm? Ts weeks lesb with ple etcore aed albu part of wn. They seled ww take only whar as essential Jind hurry, onto the bus — we were being taken to Klan. Boss Nowe obs we encountered 2 checkpoint, The soldier who got onto the!bus ordered all the men to get out, The bus then Jefe! Ve stood, mm the meadow and stared A he bus ing sun or fiery Thee dye ee tey drove apn Edn Vieni Kaa. Tete wee thryeghtof uchoteno est Thef incl ws up daca fing ee lean sn APC. Bein ig mace gan T sexed Zl Lie, tbs der whe doe ey he eed Sek wad elu Bog do te their wl ie ping before hei yen sy le inope minut A solder epped 2 of © ="Whea wire you born? im18 ‘ hat cou doing nel? Tyre ye’ hand and tid Tam ere wh ate, dott watt lee his! "Cope om got hs a place for you he si He then made me step out of the line hlong wich four ‘other boys of my ge td tow oa spot om which w cou sot sex te exeson sf we wee walking when end hing behind ow Ech Ture oud seat ye Loh imagined = be dp Setar uw yf." =} nclae, This cold and pecise Word'denotes al the dfeténces them ouside” We ever “called absolutely nothing 10 Fe ierween vs, inside, SretieitS a tele’, obi our rei We Galle caeon, wpa end; apni, paccenser he oF He ‘Ae the we FlgSted tp a defnion ofthe wd ene fn 4 ety of enn woke Th sha Tino ig of + foun surounded bythe tettory of another Count ethno anyother comity spate fom i reer pur acd property Srrunded! on al sides bythe property Of froth ovnee “The rey of sal ova under 4 he yea siege is mich more akin 1 ghews or + eocenaton camp. Tax coapesion Sith ghewo snot comet eer Yow cul somtie leve he heat sti the ginning ws pono more ely ren Guid the walls Inthe ence tere wee no barbed wi, wnteh Covers armed gant nd ogy gs ane in concenetion Caps ts border shifted cons nek: permanent noe Sub and fcr i 1 ept moving to fhe aang of the Songer pry was ering The danges ws note 2 a amp shee iis pesonied bya salen grad urgom. On the coat pple we cond nox ee wh decided who was gro Ie, not wating to ide Who the vicina were, nt Seeing te ported expression onthe faces no ing them # chance to prepare“The Ser guns were too" faraway bib seen from the town, but close enough for us tobe scared of them, Close enovgh to be conscious every moment — whether we were in bed eating, siting, walking, laughing aking ofthe noise ending the airand of the death those guns brougheFuger than the peed of thought. Iwas sot ik in Saaevo for insta, which fs sheled foe hours every day. On the contrary, ete sls rent tl sky and fl acording thi vm stn tena where wane they had acquired personal habits sis and platodependene of dhe Serb fqunners and dei barels. | fi pas Most lives were lost precisely becandé shells were unexpeced, beeruse people were nor used to acceptor refused to accept the facy that shells bad become’ Sart of ous ives In one litle square inthe town, stuck —or rat male by rape ~ othe was of 2 nearby building and kiosk" vere the eémains of worman iled in ehe first months of war, ap she walktd home from the arket carrying her meng purhadts, Thousands of people rssed the suas eel day thd nobody pay ention othe pars of et body that hain the meantime rtd. i¢ war easier fous to get used ro desiihan to what had eased if Death was aceeptble but fear of death vas ao. , e used to kl the tine bofofe and afer oxr onl mel between 180 daly meals ina litle pub befvecn- sndlthe town cif, benveen-those evo textbdok fampled of totaitreiit achtecrte and wo ivacable fesiced Sf every Bosnian princi own: We sit on-a cold concrete wall Gest igh of steps leading 6 pak benches washed by aia and Bleached by the sun We watch the bioad sere! In front of oe seated ph psa worl wa ling par and fom i, iy ersins% new one was emerging ‘We ere watching in order t get slowly used to it, to accept it asthe only possible realy, until we forgot that beyond out furrosnings there was another work. We stopped tormenting curaeves with quettions sbout i, quem forget that we uscd to in dferen ives Togeet we progressively forgot what were, ‘issing out on, foot everything thit was happening behind the vals rgted aos Aod we weieo good ait chat we esentaly started déxpising the ovaide wofld'We lived in an impermarent ‘work and eck the longevity a te ode outside I logked vial to us, Because we had leart that longevity do ‘ bring ekperence,« «People were . worthless overnight and fund this difficle to acces. The pops did not understand that thee survival depended on howe cnc, hey ersped hati wae not posible to bring, anything from the ‘ld word into the nek. The oli world wa reversibly lst and he ‘ew one.svat ruled, by, cum, criminals former prisoners, corkupe policemen nes ae 2 24 S GeWe would mee up thee every day Mujo Diananovg and had both hoen le fr the Gist class onthe fs ay ofthe fist ear of secondary school We had met a we werewating forthe cas to Srnish, and for the pupil in charge to open the doors, which bad 1 stay shot after the fst bell Po the next hye years we had always satat the same schoo! desk, segond from te door. We bot looked Colder than we were. He had etre shail ently and his face was ove in hey blak stubble Te was oa thanks co the lack of ‘weapons that we were not on the front Line. ner Tif by some tac aprnent we alays avd atthe fall at he same: time, ae falngfin an esp to cheat hanger by fatally reading or sleeping je were that fragile and transitory age when we were pill dscoveingoursegs and revealing ourselves, to others. A hat age we fort ane Ast opinions, the Gest flings stat budding within us, andthe world becomes sory sens) than hither, Mojo was dhe tacit pp, he never suid much. do not know AF Thave ever seen him angry and his atemps at being angry generally made me laugh. When I thnk about i {tale that 1 fever knew hrm thac wel, despite the fac tht we shared ~ or at iest I thought we did ~ nearly everyting doing thee yeas of school and thie eas of ar. Unlike most of our fend, nether he noe I sought comfort in atid homemade rd that bart the stomach and destoged the bral, At least ft at hat ime Later on I started de with the others, but I soon realised we were al on young eer fet wed faa, Buta made me ‘drink it all the harder, 7 Ge Some smoked thes fist acres They would slowly rol the tobacco at rumble int dst in sal pls bags and got stuck {lip dappled with dak ag’ More was pd than put ono the ‘per ‘The cghcte wold én go four. They woud count the drags that each of theri? dol! And argue Abbut the-“rodch, the end ofthe cigarette thar burned the eis was popular-becnuse tha ime il dd ot smoke ‘We leaned fist. Our upbeingng and ou iteligence our vahes ver not worth 1 row of beans So we bad sated to comat uncle wih serap since we coal et neti, wie ying treo oneerend oot onng or ens water th wat Mujot mate sed dose tom hus in Sajev fora log te Every tine my mother ra into be on te eet, Shecarehome netting ne over nl over gin hat shoud ht uj moter cold neve ing otha bene cu! shld fe gui in er rene Afterall Maj and twee these a shuld hot be Ale exh, abowe al o mel, tear gre me che sight eo cd tae om tha cho! desk Trond tm te door whet head ov We bad ad he same ooh, the same ds hese fe and te suse rae things iat wed eo ke us Rapp ten, Ad err i at mnevho weap. Me peed in someting that we expected ~ undastaning that i woul kenge before eve hat worl in which we found gore came amen washed ta explnon tnt these ome bigs been id no now we wad ture yet anobe big bang. The wort thing about his deat i thir tppened yas fr cep lending eminence tected atte wold never be cceponal otha we were ob Siiched we be becuse tsi onl ny fo make sue would cy onan “The See aroun he endive wee the masts ofout fre {We wet aki uy back in the pst od we ne hat he a ev not ours hare we suede wld vee wih ad Torng in common wih ut We were rveing ptr uner Soler shes, woes acquit fom pliner of alge nt yet beret down, We edo borrowed tine ged by rote oi haty ten and aot inva, Weve uly loan Te te years come, got know th internal mechanics of the town athoes very Wel ad came to understand hw much they leone to our gence hopeless and despa = What Tay fou stg as the coaneess of Ure peopl who-unl then had een anonymous and the-snphery it wich ter cle ddd worl fncoons AT cold make »cout was tat in he fst wey of wat na vllage ner Srebrenica, spl the asks up anvong chemices according to some sort of tba principe. Each person in power in one way ox mother tepresened one of the wal’ inte clave But cach of them td thee own understanding of pow the war ght up unt tag all the ealave wat under vsort of internal sige, oa east that what eco me pad experienced the tal b she begining oF winter 1995 tid sas being dropped wo uioa the ly, Ove nigh in Febery 19, my uncle was one of the thousaids of people who were neaing on the hill around he tour gf He was kile, before a crowd of onigokers, a he rn towards the.paketes that were landing inthe vnity His wife and. two children were waiing for im at home. Thg murderer ho opened fre onthe preter that toy wace had crowed his fed looking for fod, was red othe president ofthe fmniipli. There was 10 police engi. That man was never executed, o even convicted of {hurler in what was het ual display of uncoucabt, My au tnd her wo chide were son evacuate frm the town and never ‘ed ose the ime, even when they grr Twa. = Tor thee yeas 1 saw the people who Jha prevented the invesigaon of my uncles murder almost very day. Asa matter of fac met the man who had spmied the ene and understood how it could have happened. Dung those threesyear before Srebrenen fl, we rensned io a primie form of cong “There wee no-lrs ad pobleauthorin,was based on a ral talane of power Every Und] sw tat man i made ny stomach cho, bu never dae to clin the pdt, sine knew that itould ro hangs anytng Tee po pot ang hn today eter ~ ae Tar them every dey and became aware of growing difrences berwoan then and he populstion ofthe ene. [es mpoatble to ell when exactly power had become in end in nlf for them, ‘but over dime the gap widened-and deepened. 1 fl sick secing the president of the municipal council show off with his suff 30 cardboard packs of Marlbore bought from Canadian or Duteh soldiers, while my fiends continued to make cigarettes out of bad paper and biter home-grown tobacco that pinched the thront nd burned into black ashes. Some muniipalcounci officials had the ingolence to drive round in cars, whereas, ordinary people had 0 walk dozens of kilometres weating bad'thoes. Even at dives of Famine their tables were groaning with food, whereas my granny only had soya to cook. Te just makes Mojo's death andthe deats.of other dear ones that moch harder for me tocbear,After thaty nothing had senfe ce. Notlie,letalonedeath.” tk : anymg ae 2 . oe net , : aSPBpT eee econ nln see ery inhabit of the éacave. We id one fio, eas 4 sy. The own ws fal of eihausted pepe who pene hee days ‘wandering simlessly around, Or tiey restll, hiding deep in che cool shade of thei Bats. Inthe etiy evening’ small groups of people stood in fron of buldings and sass ates too loudly, what they had heard on the news “The hungrier and tore exhausted they were, the louder thee discussions The more hopeless they wert the more bested the anging would pe, 8 chy waned o compensate for the gene fecling of powerlessness. They then returned to their homes to spend yet another long night, the silence of which wold be broken Iya sodden aril aac, or by hinges so gnawing that 0 dea, so mates how deep coud offer resistance Brest, lnch and supper were he privilege of the fa of people who were close 1 te watords and the new caste of war profters, who had aleady'yared to emerge in the town. The ‘eyme of hanger infeed upon the onary people coveted of Pekan anal pbec ee that hanger We were sticking tothe habit of alin i ah, zefesing sield to new circumstances, if we wanted to hang onto what one recent lee bad been, eyen if oniythrough the language we sed. The second mel was generiy then Ist a gh, ase 1 possible. We would swallow » couple of mouthfuls, if we had that much, And sill we gor up inthe motning hungece dan dhe right before and even mote exhausted than onthe morning before In summerlthe days got"longer, too long! and sixbet was aot a call to supper. The most difficult time was the afternoon. Hunger ‘would then tn into a pain, similar toa stomach eruinp, a pain that could not be banished. In Sarsjevo fie te war T met a young man from Foéa who hid spent the war in Gottide, which had also beed beseged'for thrce years Together wescalelated quite acctately thatdurng those eure we had got fewer clas pe dy tha ie prisoners in Stain’ guags. ieee ‘Everyone pretended not 10 notice that each day thecothets looked thinner chan the previous day. They beeame“daskes, tei faces were losing their natural colose, and everyone simply strted to look like everyone else, bloodless and almost featurelessIn-che end, they all did become the seme: the same grey wrinkled skin; che atk cecles round.the eyes, the Gred:gaze. Bot talking abdut food ‘was bélow our dignity. Thin soup and sometimes the last reseFved of beans were on the mens, After that there was'nothing lef? 3» + While the refugees in town were starving, the peasants from the villages around Srebrenica were more o les spared They continued ‘working tified, not paying attention to the poor and hungey rnewcoriers who‘ overnight had lost everything they had worked for all theit lives. They sometimes even commented: Why didn you defend yourselves?”.When the-hunger became unbeirable, and those worst affected stared taking family jewels and the lst [Déutschmatks saved long ago out of well hidden bundles i order 10 buy food, the pessants used the opportunity co make money “Tgave away my wedding ting fora couple of kilos of Beppess’, conc.eldexy acquaiftaneé told me, He-was not the only one to give sway the last of his possessions for a litle bit of flour, couple cof.eggs oF a tng bitof cheese. Theie"WvereIeGions lie him tvho ‘wandered theough the villages, softe of thefn bégging, some'rding the last remnants of thei lives. Soon a.monsizous market'was set up in which peoile mostly traded goods for goods, beciuse almost 10 one believed in money any more ‘Tradesmen exchanged cigarettes and matches from the efoains of cheie‘pre-ia stbcks for potatoes or flour. That summer, for cone box 6F matches one could get 10 kg of potatoes or ter exes; 8sometimes aikilo of egese1On one occasion L sold matches in earby villages for one ofthe sown tradesmen, in exchange for a commission. Walking ftom Ge ville io another T.nodced that hunger had! completely altel my perstnalty. From-a boy who before the we used to be shy dd reserve ha become agaesie ved to freeze infront ithe gin ny class, Thad become age and doprpalona What saw scared me, but I quickly realist thaeit wi’ a matte of survival - il Re "Do you wantio buf matches? |p . mew much aethel? HW box férten kilos 3 potoesja > “Thatbexpensivelee Ms Rw Ma Whar do.you mean, expensive? You've got en tons ia your Feld and you edn spare ten kilos! But whit do Lente, you're che one ‘whol be sitting in the dark 1» : a “This | once saidsto arpeasane who was digging potafoes out of the groundAn hour later I took the same zoad back, struggling 10 ‘arya sack of potatoes I had got from someone’elsexThe peasant ‘saw me from far awn, eame onto the road and sad he, would buy 2 box of matches for10 kg of potatoes ne 5 2 L'les more expensive now — ficen' sad: S07 v= "Thats way over the top" . ve ~All sighs, twelve and noy a gram less” ~OK? sid the farmer god old his wife to pu ogi 12 ke into the bag: mat I! re ‘oughly: T said ald wiumph iy polled out «smal set of scales " i. a» "After we bad used up athe stocks of white Rout, we switched to wholemeal and then to mize flour. Nex.came oats, which were impossible eorrind well esgugh, so nat only was che dour biner, Dbut it also hurt our gore thrdats. Stalks apd hazel bushed wire also groundupin watermill. ©. Wy ae tae When in March'1993 Genetel Philippe Moron arrived in Srebrenica, he, was offered 2, slice of hazel-bush bread so‘that the could See for hmslfi what the inhabitants of Srebrenica ‘were surviving ff, After he had tasted-the bread, he ssid, litle ‘embarrassed, htt vas heathy, gol forthe digestion" “The months passed slowly, bur the cown market was ss busy and noisy a before the wat The Fat that they cou not do anything ‘wth thei earnings did not bother the tradesmen at all. Aer my short expeiment of sling marches, I never aguin go a chance to the suengih of my characte Toy Lam glad I did not, because 1 do.not dare thik wall should have tered into But all chat, time we were sinking lower and lowes, and when wigter aved* there was nahing we would not have done fr piece of bread." 1 The sale of yalues for the most impgrtant trading ails i was most brutally dictated by te a, bythe balance of forces onthe Font By March 1993 the Sec were advancing op fhe borders of.the enclave, and people from neaty flages stared agfive inthe town, carying everything they owned or had had Sine {6 bein slong They arrgedcatrying bundles over thee shosldees Gr wih clots hasty pled onto horse-drawn cae They broight Along eatde, which er of lie use co ther, They budlose chee land and their erops, and the cate they {ought wi'them hadto be slaughtered afer a coupe of days dnd excharged for corn om the town aaret, In the fst da the ‘exchagl rite was one to one, but with each Serb attack ang eh torliéé Bosniak wilagethe pe of neat went dow, After couple of weeks one kilo of eoen was worth three a four ora inet. [wasted tS watch them acving in rown, oa cise‘or bullock ath car with families, with children moré Be less Ziel ‘weap in Fils sipposel to prover hen fim the cold Soe pedple fle cher, izes others thought they had got what they deed, Bu tcirarivl meine that danger was geting closer 100, 0 that ese the aie ad io time to gloat.” oes ae 2Porte co 7 ht a 2 Sake af oe Nations Mili Been ints, when Seen waking 1 NNO earn) fr conple 4 Dish feels, whotlaameT cfot eal kd me to Shanley nepreshatley Ge tlle’ the UnncdNains Civan Polis er geiifom he Siren pletion weeks, iy rs trom other UN’ agengies lls worked for set too. Afer Thad transi therefor, Be pulled ou a pac'of egtiaes stolen of grande i Maa Lsctembey~ ttm he big ih hep in is Som tod. Hid je tome. f wat cooised becaue Tgp ot vos 0 tei ald had preigsly ben woiking for dena dy Aix that nade me fel privileged. asd him inl inceny: What Shall do wh i The face tae aot ene, soko ating Ina me allt more cong, He coll pled: Sl them, the! gad et the pack on the the posticehal ole a tose, cbc what odo wth hf Ica ve sol hem, tid net tnt 1; second opin wat to give dato someone, bu Hkpes Tha chey would sl end upgn the Bnckyrak The hl opon ws to uke them. Ths ophat 1d, aowingthateyen thee Tigh damage my heal, atleast my honour wou sil be tet. By the end of wine 192, the price of pack of cites reached th incredible sum of 150, even 200 Deischmas A pack Of eigrres roxy ean xe sved packet of Sesion tuanufactsed Dring white bran’. Before the Seb offense, the only oer sure of Giuretes thi brew of, hanks eusin 36 cof mine who bough and. sl eguete-foFone of- Naser One's fides, was a tadesmin ftom Gosia vilage on"thoad between Srebrenica id Potoar- As amidlemn, cousin had wo go ver to the man’ hodse under shelreFe geneily waived ni dark to-underake the tis He woul sine bck ate a night ofthe eat morning with a couplé of packs that he then sold othe asker He wok the nlony othe stn te worked for, but siadé sue hat, these was at east a packet 640 Tef for hm “Those without money ratkel thr besins how ro'get hold of toblig Some soved iin plant poe during the rnmer and kept icon thi balconies Exery morning they careful picked lewves fiom the botiom upwards, dred them ona cooking stove and then crumbled dhe dry but sil grea’ leaves onto'the page of a newspaper, Those who cou aot aond even this smoked quince— iocappi'e eaves, colsfoot leaves the leaves of nels, planiains ‘oc any plant all one ‘© With the arrival of UN forces, cijaretes pot chespes Hed by theft week the pice had deopped to 50 Marks 4 packet sad then giadally went doun to 10 or 13 Marks depending on the brand, Canadian and later Dutch sldies bought egrets ia thee ‘antcen for 2 Math, sold them to black marketers for 5, andthe Inxer woul shea resell fr two of thee ines a8 auch tthe fe zens of Se . “As long as the Canadian Soldiers were i tou, che market as sateated with Pet, he sie poplar band amdngst hem! The HE pestigions and expetive bead was Marbohir obtainable faoti-UN"llier. Soon carctes Grell ‘obtaible feof thé ober side BF thE tone LA arcied fain Zepay there oppeunsic UriniaS1848 deposed int cle resbld caren. Big riakeitet tight VEK, Bond or te iO fSrpOle tnd ctleds Darter ice HTSEat a checkpoints A te Welw Bridge: Inthe next wo ears cigarettes became one of the tings around which people lives revolved. No mater how maay cgsetes there ‘were in the enclive, there were never caough. They became one ofthe two or three told currencies You could pay and get paid in fa who could afford it fecigrtesrbuy and sel for eae, semember wi gas how ‘ortaran soldi who tad rived ia Spent the ser (011993, once came upso me dd uit shel unr his beste La get hn sp he woul opin toes ed Told im hat could or hm, the id noe know saying ace Dremnagd wt ny bl gts rd ——™rti“—s—r—SCSCSC thovown, spent eal eter ment ia eof the PET bing deo nw heh eat fp now the it sop.hre ewan big al af ie iy seach red 4 Tench him aking nl golden fs poly the ges fad ver sen fom an eeifbanin xl ge for = : Actually there was ope time when T,eid break the promise I bad made to myself One day a cousin of mine; who had started tracking in cigarettes after he was left alone in the town, came to sce me at work. The guard called forme and I went to the catrange, He was visibly anxious. He cold me that hs owgal money to some about 200 Marks, and thae he would ath very leisteget beaten ‘unconscious by someone I dreaded even tp thinkof A carton of igarertes would pay off his deb, but he could not afford it,» "OK, I said, ‘You'l get a carton of cigarertes. But only this ‘once’ ‘And five ot sx kilos of sugar’, hesadded. I gid not-know wat be needed sugar for, but Lpromisegl should get thao. A couple of days later one of the observe’ went ro Brarunae for egotaions He got back wtf carton offParrerand five kilos of spat. That night twas eased forme tp fl asin evn if on the previous day Lad een sordeated by 24E off wo gather food, ple wsl wo sin the Sst yet WY sis tng elena om Seine the vl in ch Dina valle to unpre farts anelars Took 5? ny remaining bits Of Food. Every night several housinds of people wc ther in Pozar hy had led gens of ilometies fe ion, rainy on fore’ pine Pte daknes' thy would then set off oa ah uncer The foad went fterly between Selb bunkers and thousinds af eopl col pot pss tnnodced. Whole tami wet chose journey father Id suevive and earty enon foodback ory othr Sa ip. Sal, many people wee wipe ‘se ee the Serb ambushes that became more and rho: ff ingan eieehenver swail'on the denfiteatin line to exch thést og tele yay bagk, «exhausted both tor the journey, td the Joa they were cori Shfiienly clog, for the fring 0 too fae for, Bosnian, soles in he’