McCarthy !

In the Closet

Characters:
Jeff - A 17 year old who is gay
Alex - A 17 year old who is Jeffs boyfriend
Mrs. Carter - Jeffs Mother
Stephanie - Jeffs 15 year old sister

[The lights come up on a boys bedroom.

Band posters on the walls,
a bed off to the right and a
window in the center.
A door is to the left,
as well as a large wardrobe.
JEFF is seen sitting
on his bed reading a comic book.
ALEX appears at the window and taps it.]

JEFF
(Startled)
You have got to be kidding me!

[JEFF gets up and goes over to

the window and opens it]

JEFF
What do you think youre doing?

ALEX
I always read that it is romantic to crawl through your
boyfriends window! I hadnt given it a try and thought I ought
to.

JEFF
Maybe romantic to you! You cant be here right now. Im grounded
remember?

ALEX
That makes it even more exciting. I wont stay long, I just
wanted to see you.

JEFF
Well here I am! Now can you leave? My mom will kill us both if
she catches you.

ALEX
 McCarthy !2

So, she wont catch me. Now move over and let me in!

[ALEX pushes JEFF out of the way

and climbs through the window and
enters into the bedroom. ]

ALEX
Now give me a kiss and pretend you missed me!

[ALEX grabs JEFF and gives him a smooch.

A quick beat. JEFF breaks the kiss.]

JEFF
I did miss you. You know that. I just-

ALEX
You just what? Just live a little bit, man! I promise your mom
is not going to find out.

JEFF
Your determination is beautiful, but seriously, I dont-

[ALEX gives JEFF another kiss.]

ALEX
You talk way too much, man.

JEFF
Shut up. (Beat. He goes to sit down on his bed) What did coach
say about me missing practice today?

ALEX
That if the son of a bitch wants that god damn captain spot, he
better show his ass up to practice every single day. Word for
word.

JEFF
So he took it well.

ALEX
You could say that. Speaking of taking it-

JEFF
Dont even think about it.
 McCarthy !3

ALEX
Youre still on that virginity wagon?

JEFF
Why does it matter? You said you didnt care, and we would take
it at our own pace.

ALEX
I wasnt rushing you! I was just making sure you were still, uh,
happy with that choice.

JEFF
Almost as thrilled as you are.

[Suddenly,
footsteps are heard coming
down toward the door. ]

MRS. CARTER
(Frustrated and bellowed)
Jeffrey Carter!

ALEX
Oh shit.

JEFF
(Whispering)
Oh no! Get in the closet!

[The door is attempted to be opened,

but is revealed to be
locked from the bedroom side.]

MRS. CARTER
Jeffrey Carter, you unlock this door this instant!

JEFF
Sorry! Coming!
(whispering)
Now!

[ALEX opens the wardrobe

and climbs inside]

ALEX
Well this is irony at its finest.
 McCarthy !4

JEFF
Shut up! (Slamming the wardrobe shut)

[JEFF goes over to the

door and unlocks it.
MRS. CARTER storms in.]

MRS. CARTER
Jeffrey Matthew Carter! I just received a call from the
principal that you were caught skipping class with Alexander
White? You better have a damn good explanation for this, or you
can add another month to your grounding.

JEFF
We werent skipping class! We had a free period, and the teacher
didnt know. She was being a complete bitch and didnt even try
to hear us out.

MRS. CARTER
The principal said you were caught in your car while it was
running attempting to leave campus!

JEFF
We werent attempting leave campus! We were just listening to
music. Mom, I swear! Im not retarded; I wouldnt try to leave
the campus!

MRS. CARTER
So help me God, Jeffrey. When are you going to learn that you
have to take responsibility for your actions?

JEFF
Mom, I-

MRS. CARTER
No more! I dont want to hear anymore. Ill tell the principal
what you said, but Im adding an extra week to your grounding.

JEFF
What! Mom, please!

MRS. CARTER
Enough, Jeffrey. I dont want you to spend time with that
Alexander boy. He seems to be nothing but trouble for you.
 McCarthy !5

JEFF
Hes my teammate, mom! Were going to be co-captains. I cant
just-

MRS. CARTER
You heard what I said, Jeffrey. Now, Im going to go call your
father and tell him whats going on so he doesnt have a fit
when he gets home.

JEFF
Fine.

[Suddenly, ALEX
bumps into something
in the wardrobe,
making a loud thud.
JEFF and MRS. CARTER
look to the wardrobe.]

MRS. CARTER
What was that?

JEFF
Uh, that was. Uh. I took Stephanies cat and put him in there.

MRS. CARTER
What?

JEFF
The little shit pissed on my floor! I was giving it a
punishment?

MRS. CARTER
Give the cat back to your sister, Jeff. I dont even know what
to say to you right now. (She exits through the door.)

[JEFF goes and shuts

the door again,
and locks it once more.
He goes to the wardrobe
and opens it.]

ALEX
Didnt think Id have to come out twice.

JEFF
 McCarthy !6

Youre such a shit.

ALEX
Im just trying to make light of the situation.

JEFF
What did you even hit in there? She almost found out!

ALEX
Soccer ball. I was holding it and then it fell.

JEFF
I dont even-

ALEX
So your mom hates me now?

JEFF
I mean, thats not news. Its just intensified.

ALEX
Your mom didnt like me before?

JEFF
No, no, I mean. She did. Its just. She, uhm-

ALEX
Spit it out.

JEFF
She heard from people at the PTA that your family-

ALEX
(Annoyed)
What about my family?

JEFF
Dude, I honestly. She just heard things from parents from the
PTA about your Mothers affair. She is a Christian woman, and
can barely handle when someone takes the lords name in vain let
alone hearing about an affair.

ALEX
Or her son being a homo?

JEFF
 McCarthy !7

(Hurt)
Yeah. Or her son being homo.

ALEX
(Apologetic)
Im sorry. I didnt mean that. I just cant believe your mom
cares that much about something that doesnt concern her.

JEFF
Shes a Christian. Caring about things that dont concern them
is literally all they do.

ALEX
(Hint of annoyance)
I just really am taken aback by it. Hate my mom, thats fine.
Why me?

JEFF
Just dont worry about it. (JEFF takes hold of ALEXs shirt, and
begins to play with the buttons.) Worry about me.

ALEX
Ill worry about what I want to worry about.

JEFF
Alex, please.

ALEX
Please, what? Ignore it? Ignore the fact your mom hates me? How
the hell are we even gonna keep dating if I cant even come over
your house when you arent grounded because your mom hates me?
She hates me because of my mother. Want me to call my mom and
tell her to have a nice chat with your mother? Explain why my
mom was even cheating on my father in the first place?

JEFF
Alex no-

ALEX
My dad was fucking his god damn secretary. She wanted to get
back at him! The two of them are just fucked up.

JEFF
Alex Im sorry-
!7
 McCarthy !8

ALEX
(Upset)
Nah man, I just cant stand when people think they know
everything. Your mom is just like all the others. A meddling,
nosy bitch!

JEFF
(Angered)
She doesnt matter! We go to college in a year. She wont be
able to say shit then.

ALEX
Thats a year Jeff.

JEFF
(Angered and Hurt)
What are you saying?

ALEX
(Apathetically)
I dont know.

JEFF
You dont know if you want to stay with me.

ALEX
Its not that. I- I dont know. (He goes and sits down on the
bed)

JEFF
Look. I love you. You know that. I meant it when I said it the
first time, and I will mean it always. Im sorry for being so
anxious earlier. Now that I think about it, it was really sweet
of you to come see me. The knight comes to save the prince
trapped in the high tower.

ALEX
And has to dodge the dragon that hates him and his family.

JEFF
Exactly.

ALEX
I love you too.

[The two look at each other for a moment.

 McCarthy !9

JEFF walks over to the bed and sits down;

he leans in and gives ALEX a kiss.
The two fall back on the
bed embracing each other.
Suddenly, footsteps are heard coming
toward the door again.]

STEPHANIE
(Angrily and upset)
Give me Mr. Jingles Right! Now!

[STEPHANIE begins to
fidget with the door,
trying to open it. ]

JEFF
Jesus Christ.

ALEX
So should I just get back in the closet or...

JEFF
I wish we both could just get back in the closet.

STEPHANIE
(Screaming)
Jeffrey!
ALEX
Going!

JEFF
Stephanie, shut up!

STEPHANIE
(Angrily)
You shut up you animal abuser!

[ALEX climbs back into the wardrobe

and JEFF closes it behind him.
JEFF walks over to the door and unlocks it.
It flies open nearly hitting him and
STEPHANIE falls to the floor,
tears abundant.]

STEPHANIE
(Sobbing and out of breath)
 McCarthy !10

Where. Is. Mr. Jingles.

JEFF
I already let him out of the closet!

STEPHANIE
Then where is he!

JEFF
I dont know, Steph! Hes your cat.

STEPHANIE
That you Catnapped! Youre a monster!

JEFF
Steph, please. I really have a lot of homework to do, and you
are not helping me focus.

STEPHANIE
You tell me where Mr. Jingles is right this instant or else.

JEFF
Or else what?

STEPHANIE
Ill tell mom that Alex is here.

JEFF
(Slightly panicked)
What did you just say?

STEPHANIE
I saw him walk into the backyard and climb up the vine ladder in
the back to your window. I know hes in here!

JEFF
What the hell? How the hell did you-

STEPHANIE
Tell me where Mr. Jingles is.

JEFF
Stephanie, I honestly dont know where your cat is.
 McCarthy !11

STEPHANIE
But mom said you have him in here! In your closet!

JEFF
Mr. Jingles is not in the closet!

STEPHANIE
Oh yeah? Well Im just gonna go check for myself!

[STEPHANIE runs over to the wardrobe

and opens it. JEFF attempts
to to get to her before she does.
She peers inside and sees ALEX.]

ALEX
Hows it goin Steph?

STEPHANIE
Im telling mom!

JEFF
Stephanie, please. If I have never asked you to do anything
before, I am begging you right now. Do not tell mom. Im already
in deep shit, and if she sees Alex in here, I will be dead.

STEPHANIE
You shouldve thought of that before you took Mr. Jingles
hostage!

JEFF
I didnt take your fucking cat, god damn it!

STEPHANIE
Then where is he!

[A meow is heard offstage.

JEFF, ALEX, and STEPHANIE
all look out the door.]

STEPHANIE
Oh.

JEFF
Praise Jesus.
 McCarthy !12

STEPHANIE
Fine. I wont tell mom, but you owe me.

JEFF
Okay, okay! I owe you. I get it, now scram!

ALEX
See ya later, Steph.

STEPHANIE
You guys are so gay.

[STEPHANIE leaves and JEFF

slams the door behind her.]

JEFF
I might as well give up now.

ALEX
Its okay, man. Look Ill just get out of here because by the
way our luck is turning out, I dont feel like literally having
to come out of the closet to your family.

JEFF
Okay. Ill see you tomorrow then. My phone is still restricted.

ALEX
I love you Jeffrey Carter

JEFF
You better.

[ALEX walks over to the

window and climbs out.
He turns around and looks at JEFF.]

ALEX
And so you know, I dont want to spend this year with anybody
else.

[JEFF walks over to the window

and kisses ALEX one last time.
He then closes the window on him.]

JEFF
 McCarthy !13

I love you Alex. (He waves him goodbye)

[JEFF walks over and sits

back down on his bed.
Smiling to himself.
ALEX walks off stage.
After a beat.]

STEPHANIE
(Offstage)
Bye Alex!

[JEFFs face perks up in terror

and looks toward the door.]

MRS. CARTER
(loud, and very angry)
Jeffrey Matthew Carter! Get down here this instant!

[JEFF gets up and walks toward the door.

He looks at the wardrobe before leaving.
He smiles, and unlocks the door.
He walks offstage and
the lights dim on the bedroom.]

[END]