Do all women look at men in an unequal manner?

How they act mentally,

emotionally, or physically? In the poem “To All the Boys I’ve Ever Loved
Before” Mayda Del Valle realizes that the womaen (are you talking about
women in a plural sense or ‘a woman’?) during a relationship become the mother
to the man accompanying her. Del Valle’s way of looking at men throughout the
years has changed her personal opinion about them. Del Valle explains her past
experiences with men, and how they treat her. Furthermore, she implies that the
men she had relationships with acted like immature kids, when she expected
more love and understanding from them. Men did not treat her with solemnity or
value, and they did not treat her with the respect and the care she deserveds. As a
result (?), Del Valle had a hard time understanding herself as a woman.

Maturity is what Del Valle expects from a true man. Throughout the poem, the
poet explains what she really thinks a man is, and is implying that they are babies
and as if she is their mother; “We are not your mothers/ and are not mean(t) to
be, / it’s not our responsibility to raise you into respectful beings /that have been
wounded from the breast of a woman for years/ yet you came to us” (Del Valle, 1-
5). In addition, she is saying that it is not my problem that you are not raised in a
mature way, and it is not my duty to do so. For years you have been taught
respect and maturity, yet you still come to me and involve me in your adolescent
conflicts (these last couple of sentences, it sounds as if she’s speaking but you
don’t have quotes around the sentence – make sure to keep your ‘tenses’
consistent. “Fast fading memories of playing hopscotch, / and skippin’ rope /we
now play freeze tag with each other’s hearts” (Del Valle, 28-30). Through this
quotation, one can understand that Del Valle is allowing one to realize that the
early years’ relationships were created through what today individuals would call
“girly” and “guy-ish” behaviour. A little girl at age 10, playing hopscotch, would
think she has a crush on the guy watching her afar. He has blue eyes, symbolizing
the ocean she dreams of swimming in, and curly, brown hair that reminds her of
the last bowl of spaghetti she consumed. A girl at age 10 thinks of a guy as a
friend that she will eventually share her first kiss with. At a young age, little kids
are playing hopscotch (repetitive perhaps?) and skipping rope with one another-
they look to each other as friends and mates that will eventually share hugs and
kisses with. A 20-30 year old is ready to freeze their hearts and only thaw their
hearts when someone that they like or soon will love has touched them. The
touch of a loving guy will melt the heart of a loved woman. This quotation really
shows how younger relationships are just on and offinconsistent and usually do
notdon’t symbolize true love until the individuals are left to really endure in a
serious relationship that will melt their heart. Men did not treat Del Valle the way
she deserved to be treated, and the way she thought they would, so as a woman
she was disappointed.

Dishonesty is what releases women’s true emotions about their men. Del Valle
realizes that the men she was with, upset her, dispirits (try another word here),
and gave her no respect. Men come to her as if they do not know what happened,
and forget the littlest things. “You said you had a photographic memory/ but
apparently you forgot that honesty /begins by being real with yourself” (Del Valle,
34-36). In this passage,quotation Del Valle states that men always forget the
issues happening in between them; and always trying to get themselves out of the
circumstances so they do not get blamed for anything. The fact that the men are
being dishonest states that in order to be loved; you have to start being honest to
yourself. “Wounded and half filled with promises you can only keep half the time”
(Del Valle, 6).  Keeping a promise a woman gives you is key to keep a relationship
stable.maintain a stable relationship. If you do not fulfill the promise, belief is
lost. Del Valle also demonstrates the men cheating on her with many other
women. This is a sign of disrespect and dishonesty because while the men are
cheating on her they lie theirere way out of it to gain her respect. “To be weighed
down with the bodies of men heavy with the scent/ and the hands of other
women” (Del Valle, 10- 11). This is saying that the men she was with throughout
her life did not feel passion for Del Valle, and did not care what they did to her
and. eEventually toying with her emotions. Del Valle had to go through this
dishonesty of the men she has been with. Not only did this change her opinion of
men, however, it shows us the dishonesty she had been through which changed
her opinion in men. (these last two sentences are pretty much saying the same
thing)

In today’s world, womean finally realize that they do not need men in their life;
since their actions many things they do causeing hurt and depression to the
women in their lives. Near the end of the poem, it was said that Del Valle did not
need a man in her life anymore, and can sustain her life without them. The men
in Del Valle’s life are obstacles avoiding her living a good life; “I will sleep on dry
pillows now in a bed big enough to love myself in” (Del Valle, 64). She is saying
that now, since I have nothing to worry about I can live a happy life not worrying
what is going to happen next. All she wanted is a man to love her, and do
whatever a man does to his girlfriend to keep her happy. Loyalty is all she
needed; “And we simply wanting to be loved/simply wanting to be able to love
ourselves unconditionally/simply wanting to be held and feel safe/simply
wanting the truth of whether you can really love us or not” (Del Valle, 13-16).
However, the men in her life made it hard for her to keep that. Instead of loyalty,
torment was given to her. When a woman gets dumped or disappointed, they cry
until the memory causing this gloominess is gone(?) – sentence seems
incomplete. They never will forget that day the man dumped her, however, Del
Valle fought her way out of that, and kept moving on. “I will awake these coming
mornings with my eyes dry and shining/ full of the knowledge I am priceless and
worth nothing but honesty” (Del Valle 65-66). Del Valle thinks of herself as a
trustworthy woman. Immediately she recognized that now she no longer has to
wake up crying and being miserable. Telling the truth is key to hold a relationship
strong. This was a missing key in Del Valle’s life and restricted happiness in her
love with for men.

“To All the Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before”, is a poem written by Mayda Del
Valle and gives the idea of how men in her life disrespect and keep the
relationship with her hard to keep. Men in her life give her the idea that they are
little boys and act as if she is their mother. The way Del Valle was treated by the
men changes her opinion about them. Respect was lacking in their relationship,
causing a different way in men treating her. They did not treat her as a man
would during a relationship. The “men” were acting as if they are boys, giving no
love or compassion to her. This made Del Valle hard to understand herself as a
woman. Love. Do all men treat it with the compassion and peace it deserves?