Devyn Gonsalves

Inconsistent Love on an Abhorrent Night

15 February, 2015
 Legend has it if you travel this road at night you can still smell the intoxicating scent of

gas and oil along with the horrific screeching of rubber on pavement. Going down this road at

night has caused many families grief from losing ones they love. Sadly, I have experienced that

same grief. It was about four months ago, where that very road had taken my wife Megans life.

She was driving in her 1986 Porsche 911, which I had bought her for our anniversary three years

ago when things took a turn for the worst.

For the past year and a half I havent been fully faithful to Megan, I became greedy and

have had multiple affairs behind her back. I have been, or should I say was married to my wife

for almost 20 years and loved her dearly, but I did become curious which I shouldnt have. She

became suspicious of my actions after a while because I would always have to stay later at

work or I would go on business trips every two weeks for almost the whole week. My wife

didnt lack intelligence at all, she was smart and knew what to do. She apparently hired a private

investigator to follow me around after work, and when I had to go on those business trips. It

took two weeks before the P.I found anything on me, and it was only because I slipped up. I was

always paranoid when it came to having an affair because the affair was with one of her co-

workers Kate. Every one of the neighbors where Kate lived knew my wife, so they also knew

who I was; therefore, I had to play it very carefully when I arrived at Kates house. Usually when

I was just about to arrive I would double around the block to make sure no one was outside or

watching me, but all it took was to forget just one time. That one time I was too anxious and

forgot to double the block and didnt see that there was a car about 4 houses down from hers that

was watching and taking pictures. It took the P.I 45 minutes to get to Megan and inform her of

what my business trips consisted of. As quick as it took the P.I to get to my wife and tell her, it

took even less time for my wife to get to her co-workers house. By that time I was already gone
and sitting at home like nothing ever happened. I knew my wife was the jealous type, but I never

knew to what extent. When she got to her Kates house that extent was revealed. Megan played it

calm, cool and collected, at first. She rang the doorbell of the house and her exterior looked like

she was patiently waiting, but interiorly she was burning with rage, dying inside to confront her

Kate! The door opened slowly and Kates head cautiously peaked out into the moonlit night. She

asked What can I do for you? Why are you here? in a nervous pitch. My wife answered back

saying Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and thought we could discuss a few things about

work. Kate let my wife in and my wife who always carries a purse puts it down on the small

round table right next to the door. Kate closed the door and walked by her proceeding to the

kitchen while asking So what did you want to talk about? As she asked that very question my

wife reached into her purse, pulled out a .38 special revolver and aimed it at her. My wife and I

always owned firearms, but only for protection and they mostly stayed in the house. My wife

looks her dead in the eyes and asks Why my husband? Kate turns around and flinches at the

sight of a gun being pointed at her by my wife. Kate starts stuttering and tearing up so my wife

asks again with more aggression Why my husband!? Kate answers Im sorry. Thats all it

took for my wife. Bang!! and Kate drops to the ground, blood flowing around the room like a

bayou in Louisiana. Megan shot her from point blank range square in the middle of her chest and

left the house.

Thats when I got the call. It was a local police officer, who told me that he had some bad

news for me. Megan was in a car accident on the infamous Faith Road and was in critical

condition. I couldnt believe it, so I ran to my car and sped over to Faith Road. Once upon the

road, I drove slowly attempting to really see if there was an accident scene, and a little bit more

than half way down this lengthy winding road it appeared. There were EMTs, Police Officers,
Tow Trucks, eye witnesses, there were just so many people I thought it was a reunion of some

sort. I hastily pulled over and sprinted towards the scene and got stopped by this hefty, broad

officer. He asked me What do you think youre doing sir? I responded angrily Thats my wife

over there! and pushed him out of way. While running over to the ambulance I stopped and

watched the tow truck pull my wifes car out of a ditch off the side of the road where there used

to be a guard rail. When it came up I couldnt even recognize that it was hers at first, it was just a

giant flattened piece of metal that used to be a 50,000 dollar car. I was in astonishment, but my

wife was more important. I continued to run over to the ambulance, and when I got there the

EMT pulled me over to the side. He looked at me with regret and told me Im sorry sir, but your

wife is no longer with us. He then continued to explain to me what happened to her. He told me

that she was on her way back home after shooting her co-worker after finding out about the affair

and was traveling down Faith Road at high speeds while bawling her eyes out. She got to this

point on the road and she went to look down to wipe her eyes, but when she looked up she was in

the oncoming lane with a car heading towards her. All she saw was two bright lights and swerved

back into the correct lane. You could see the tire marks from it on the dry cold pavement. He then

told me that after swerving she lost full control, went off the edge of the road and the car rolled

right on top her. He said We showed up to the scene and she was barely breathing. We pulled

her out of the car but it wasnt long before she stop breathing. Im deeply sorry sir. I felt my

legs become weak, I dropped to the ground and cried. She was gone and I was to blame. I made a

promise to myself, and I didnt keep it.

Megan and I met back in our junior year in college. She had to have been a transfer

student because I had never seen her at the university in the past two years that I attended there. I

still remember the day like it was yesterday. It was a warm fall day, my classmates and I were
walking along the campus going to our next lecture which we were dreading and I saw her. She

was sitting there on one of the benches underneath the large oak tree just reading. Words couldnt

even describe how beautiful she looked that day. The sun hit her the way ones head hits a pillow

after a tiring day. Her hair was the perfect combination of dark and light brown. It reminded me

of a leaves on an autumn day, and it looked so elegant in the brilliant light. As I got closer to her,

I noticed her eyes matched her hair. She had these gleaming hazel eyes that took your breath

away in one glance. She had a face which resembled that of a Greek Goddess and a body so

curvy it made Lombard Street jealous. She was perfect and I wanted her to be mine, but I was

scared. She was the most amazing person I had ever seen, and just from looking at her I had

butterflies in my stomach. I couldnt approach her that first day that I noticed her. A few weeks

went by after that first time, and now I would always see her everywhere. She was constantly in

my mind, and it was crazy how much I envisioned myself with her. It took me almost a month

and a half before I finally ran into her, literately. She was walking on campus and I was late to

my class so I was sprinting to it. Next thing I know I ran into her. I apologized instantly and then

realized who it was. I froze up and couldnt talk. Then it wore off, and I asked if it was ok if I

took her to dinner to make up for running her over. She blushed, smiled, and replied Well only

if you promise not to run me over with the car next? We laughed it off and I walked her to her

next class. From then on we were truly in love. She was at school for the same thing I was, for a

business degree. She wanted to start up her own hair salon. I wanted to work for a big name

company. We graduated college and started our lives and about 6 months after graduating we

started a family. In the course of 5 years we had three kids, two boys and one girl. Life was great.

When I had my first kid I had made a promise to myself that I would never leave my kids

without a father or cheat on their mother. Growing up I never had a true father figure. When I
was a young child my father left my mother for another woman. It didnt take my mother long to

find another person to replace him and for me to look at as my new dad. This new man was fine

at first, but it wasnt till I was a teenager that I noticed that he would cheat on her. It was

sickening at how my mother would be mistreated by men. At that point I vowed I would never be

like either of those men. However, now it seems I am no better than either of them. I cheated

on my wife not just once, but multiple times and I may not have left them without a father, but I

did leave them without a mother. I broke my promise to myself.

Its been a week since the passing of my love. Everywhere I look I cant help but see her,

think about her, desire her touch. I cant help but say this so no one elses fault but that of mine. I

did this to her, I did it to my family and mostly I did it to myself. I became greedy, became

something I told myself I would never in my existence become but I did I became them.

The mistreat, the neglect, the infidelity. She was my world and now my world is gone. The road

named Faith haunts me as I relive the sounds and sights of shattered love, a broken life, and

promise but I still elect to travel that dreadful road.

It was late at night when I decided to take a drive down Faith Road to have some

thoughts to myself. As I was traversing the windy roads I heard a very distinct voice but I didnt

listen. I kept thinking to myself Why should I live anymore? The love of my life is no longer

here to share life with me, whats the point in life? Life, Life, Life thats all that would come

across in my mind, then I heard it again. The same voice from before but I kind of understood it

this time. I heard the voice say I but nothing else after. These thoughts were starting to get to

me and I was ready to end it. I was approaching the same turn my wife died on when I heard the

same voice again say the same word. I. I what? I saw where they put the new guard rail up

after she went through the last one and all I could do was notice it. That wasnt all I noticed
however. My right foot was slowly accelerating the car and I noticed myself gradually closing

my eyes. I made a decision and I was going through with it. I gripped the wheel tighter, closed

my eyes fully and whispered under my breath I love you.. Just as I said that, I heard the voice

one last time and finally realized who it was. It was Megans and she was saying I love you

this whole time but it was too late. The decision was made.