*The Search For Significance by robert mcgee

Experience the amazing truth that their self-worth is found not in their
accomplishments or what their friends and family think of them, but in God's lo
ve for them
Discover how their lives have been negatively affected by the four big lies that
the world teaches about significance
Learn to stop looking in all the wrong places for affirmation and affection
Gain life-changing confidence as they learn the true meaning of what God has don
e for them in Christ

the confident woman by joyce meyer

I believe confidence is all about being positive concerning what you can d
o -- and not worrying over what you can't do. A confident person is open to lear
ning, because she knows that her confidence allows her to walk through life's do
orways, eager to discover what waits on the other side. She knows that every new
unknown is a chance to learn more about herself and unleash her abilities.
We all know that we must sow seed if we are to reap a harvest (Galatians 6
:7). Sowing seed into the lives of other people is one sure way to reap a harves
t in our own life.
Insecurity, self-doubt, and fear can totally prevent us from ever reaching
our full potential. But if our confidence is in Christ rather than in ourselves
, we are free to develop our potential because we are free from the fear of fail
ure.
A person who refuses to give up will always succeed, eventually. Henry For
d failed and went broke five times before he succeeded. NBA superstar Michael Jo
rdan was once cut from his high school basketball team. After his first audition
, screen legend Fred Astaire received the following assessment from an MGM execu
tive: Cant act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.
The Bible says our warfare is with the devil, not with people (Ephesians 6
:12).
Quitting is not an option for the confident woman. She must decide what sh
e wants or needs to do and make up her mind that she will finish her course.
Forget about self-confidence; its useless. Cultivate God-confidence. ?1 CORI
NTHIANS 10:11?12 THE MESSAGE
I challenge you to make up your mind right now to do something great for G
od.
*act like a lady,think like a man by steve harvey.
Nothing on this planet can compare with a womans love?it is kind and compa
ssionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If
you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no
matter how youve acted out, no matter what crazy thing youve done, no matter the tim
e or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just arent any m
ore words left to say, encourage you when youre at rock bottom and think there jus
t isnt any way out, hold you in her arms when youre sick, and laugh with you when yo
ure up. And if youre her man and that woman loves you?I mean really loves you??she w
ill shine you up when youre dusty, encourage you when youre down, defend you even wh
en shes not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when youre not
saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how ma
ny times her friends say youre no good, no matter how many times you slam the door
on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep ri
ght on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything shes done
to convince you shes The One just isnt good enough.
Thats a womans love?it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance.
All I'm telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man
isn't looking for a serious relationship, you're not going to change his mind j
ust because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most
perfect woman on the Lord's green earth-you're capable of interesting conversat
ion, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you're in
dependent (which means, to him, that you're not going to be in his pockets)-but
if he's not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports
fish
I'm sure that if woman laid out the rules- requirements- early on, and l
et her intended know that he could either rise up to those requirements, or just
move on. A directive like that signals to a man that you are not a plaything-so
meone to be used and discarded. It tells him that what you have- your benefits-
are special, and that you need time to get to know him and his ways to decide if
he DESERVES them.
The man who is willing to put in the time and meet the requirments is the one yo
u want to stick around, because tthat guy is making a conscious decision that he
, too, has no interest in playing games and will do what it takes to not only st
ay on the job, but also get promoted and be the proud beneficiary of your benefi
ts. And you, in the meantime, win the ultimate prize of maintaing your dignity a
nd self-esteem, and earning the respect of the man who recognized that you were
worth the wait.
Your objective is to avoid being on a string.
The first step, I think, is to get over the fear of losing a man by confronting
him. Just stop being afraid, already. The most successful people in this world r
ecognize that taking chances to get what they want is much more productive than
sitting around being too scared to take a shot. The same philosophy can be appli
ed to dating: if putting your requirements on the table means you risk him walki
ng away, it's a risk you have to take. Because that fear can trip you up every t
ime; all too many of you let the guy get away with disrespecting you, putting in
minimal effort and holding on to the commitment to you because you're afraid he
's going to walk away and you'll be alone again. And we men? We recognize this a
nd play on it, big time.
Women want their love to be reciprocated in the same way they give it; t
hey want their romantic lives to be as rewarding as they make them for their pot
ential mates; they want the emotions that they turn on full blast to be met with
the same intensity; and they expect the premium they put on commitment to be eq
ually adhered to, valued, and respected
Newsflash: it's not the guy who determines whether you're a sports fishe
r or a keeper-it's you. (Don't hate the player, hate the game.) When a man appro
aches you you're the one with total control over the situation-whether he can ta
lk to you, buy you a drink, dance with you, get your number, take you home, see
you again, all of that. We certainly want these things from you; that's why we t
alked to you in the first place. But it's you who decides if you're going to giv
e us any of the things we want, and how, exactly, we're going to get them. Where
you stand in our eyes is dictated by YOUR control over the situation. Every wor
d you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him det
ermine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to th
e next woman to do a little more sport fishing.
I realized right then and there, in that hallway, that I wanted no other
... I became the man she needed me to be because she had sense enough to have re
quirements-standards that she needed in her relationship in order to make the re
lationship work for her.
She knew she wanted a monogamous relationship-a partnership with a man who wante
d to be a dedicated husband and father. She also knew this man had to be faithfu
l, love God, and be willing to do what it took to keep this family together. On
a smaller scale she also made it clear that she expected to be treated like a la
dy at every turn-I'm talking opening car doors for her, pulling out her seat whe
n she's ready to sit at the table, coming correct on anniversary, Mother's Day,
and birthday gifts, keeping the foul talk to a minimum. These requirements are i
mportant to her because they lay out a virtual map of what I need to do to make
sure she gets what she needs and wants. After all, it's universal knowledge that
when mama is happy, everybody is happy. And it is my sole mission in life to ma
ke sure Marjorie is happy.

A man fishes for two reasons: hes either sport fishing or fishing to eat,
which means hes either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a pictu
re of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or hes going to take
that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, an
d put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out wo
men.
We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, were coming over th
ere. If we dont want anything from you, were not coming over there. Period. Please h
ighlight this part right here so you can always remind yourself the next time a
man steps to you: a man always wants something. Always. And when it comes to wom
en, that plan is always to find out two things: (1) if youre willing to sleep with
him, and (2) if you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him.
To us, your power comes from one simple thing: youre a woman, and we men w
ill do
anything humanly possible to impress you so that, ultimately, we can be with you
. Youre the driving force behind why we wake up every day. Men go out and get jobs
and hustle to make
money because of women. We drive fancy cars because of women. We dress nice, put
on cologne, get haircuts and try to look all shiny and new for you. We do all o
f this because the more our game is stepped up, the more of you we get. Youre the
ultimate prize to us
I know that you and your girls have been told for years on end that you
just dont pass up any opportunities when a man walks your way?he could be The One.
But Im here to tell you that this philosophy is just plain dumb. Women are smart?
you all can tell when your friends are lying, you know when your kids are up to
no good, co-workers cant get anything past you at
the job. Youre quick to let each one of them know that youre not stupid, that you se
e them coming a mile away, and youre not going to let them play that game with you
. But when it comes to your relationships with the opposite sex, all of that goe
s out the window; you relinquish your power and lose all control over the situat
ion?cede it to any old man who looks at you twice. Just because he happened to l
ook at you twice.
I know that you and your girls have been told for years on end that you
just dont pass up any opportunities when a man walks your way?he could be The One.
But Im here to tell you that this philosophy is just plain dumb. Women are smart?
you all can tell when your friends are lying, you know when your kids are up to
no good, co-workers cant get anything past you at
the job. Youre quick to let each one of them know that youre not stupid, that you se
e them coming a mile away, and youre not going to let them play that game with you
. But when it comes to your relationships with the opposite sex, all of that goe
s out the window; you relinquish your power and lose all control over the situat
ion?cede it to any old man who looks at you twice. Just because he happened to l
ook at you twice
If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just
arent any more words left to say, encourage you when youre
at rock bottom and think there just isnt any way out, hold you
in her arms when youre sick, and laugh with you when youre
up. And if youre her man and that woman loves you?I mean
really loves you??she will shine you up when youre dusty,
encourage you when youre down, defend you even when shes
not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even
when youre not saying anything worth listening to
Ive said over and over again jokingly that the only way a woman can truly be compl
etely satisfied is to get herself four different men?an old one, an ugly one, a
Mandingo, and a gay
guy. Now the four of them combined? They got you covered.
Men can cheat because there are so many women willing to give themselves to a ma
n who doesnt belong to them.
Avoid people who are always having a bad day. In their minds, nothing ev
er works in their favor. They have a chronic Woe Is Me campaign that they continue t
o launch full blast. This kind of negativity depletes enthusiasm. You dont need th
e woe-is-me speech every day.
God has already lined up all the people in your path to get you to your
dreams and your visions; all you have to do is get rid of the wrong ones
If you do what youve always done, your life will not get better.
When you put your efforts into your gift, you are giving God something to bless
When you aren't sowing into the soil of the universe, you notice that things in
your life just seem to dry up and get worse. But when you sow back into the univ
erse with your time, your passion, and your commitment to others, the world will
offer abundant opportunities for you to blossom into the new you
And if he loves you? Oh, hes going to bring every cent home to you. Hes not going to
come back from gambling all his money away, saying, Heres $100?thats all I got this
eek. Hes going to come straight home with that check, and if theres anything left ove
after he takes care of each and every one of your needs, well, then hell play. Th
is is man business, baby. Its how we do.
My father told me never to take my foot off a ladder to kick at someone who was
kicking at me. When I did that, I would no longer be climbing. While they are ki
cking, my father told me, I should keep stepping. They can kick only one time. I
f I continued to climb, they would be left behind. In trying to hurt me, to impe
de my progress, they would get left behind because they allowed themselves to ge
t sidetracked from their agenda.
We become our own opposition when we accept the following: procrastinating, lyin
g to ourselves, comparing ourselves to others, and having self-doubts?in short,
anything that gets in the way of our becoming who we were created to be.
You should be living your life surrounded by people who are like-minded, service
-oriented, and grateful, people who are trying to accomplish things, and who bri
ng something to the table.
There is no truer statement: men are simple. Get this into your head first, and
everything you learn about us in this book will begin to fall into place. Once y
ou get that down, youll have to understand a few essential truths: men are driven
by who they are, what they do, and how much they make. No matter if a man is a C
EO, a CON, or both, everything he does is filtered through his title (who he is)
, how he gets that title (what he does), and the reward he gets for the effort (
how much he makes). These three things make up the basic DNA of manhood?the thre
e accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like hes truly fulfilled
his destiny as a man. And until hes achieved his goal in those three areas, the ma
n youre dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you
KEEPER . . . Never gives in easily, and the standards/requirements start the mom
ent you open your mouth. See, she understands her power and wields it like a sam
urai sword. She commands?not demands?respect, just by the way she carries hersel
f. You can walk up to her and give her your best game, and while she may be impr
essed by what you say, thats no guarantee that shes going to let the conversation go
any further, much less give you her phone number and agree to give you some of
her valuable time. Men automatically know from the moment she opens her mouth th
at if they want her, theyll have to get in line with her standards and requirement
s, or keep it moving because shes done with the games and isnt interested in playing
. But she will also send all the signals that she is capable of being loyal to a
man and taking good care of him, appreciative of what hes bringing to the relatio
nship, and ready for love?true, long-lasting love. Newsflash: its not the guy wh
o determines whether youre a sports fish or a keeper?its you. (Dont hate the player,
ate the game.) When a man approaches
The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep
telling yourself as to why you cant achieve it
But far too often when we face the failure of a business venture, we let that fa
ilure paralyze us from trying again. The failure could stem from a lack of finan
cial planning, a lack of resources, or the lack of the right team members. But y
ou have to realize that failure is part of the process when you are on the road
to success. The only way to get back on track is to come up with another plan. Ive
failed more times than I can count. But you cant let the failure freeze you in pl
ace and stop you from pursuing your dreams
Providing for the ones he loves and cares about, whether its monetarily or with sw
eat equity, is a part of a mans DNA, and if he loves and cares for you, this man w
ill provide for you all these things with no limits.
The next home-going service at your church could be yours. And the most importan
t thing on that day wont be the amount of flowers that surround your casket or how
well the choir sings your favorite hymn. The only thing that will matter is how
well you use that dash between the day you were born and the day you die.
Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success lets you know that it is not good enoug
h to simply exist. Life is more than wading through a lifeless job, earning a go
ld watch, and cashing in your 401(k). Your life has to be more than just waiting
for the right opportunity to come along and find you. Your life has to be more
than just marking time watching others achieve success. The words in this book w
ill motivate you to get the most out of your life by using something that you al
ready have?your gift.
You have to learn to convince yourself that the possibility is greater than the
inevitability of doing nothing. Listen
Too often you focus on the cons before you even consider a pro. You cant even thin
k about the benefits of taking on your dream because youre too busy focusing on th
e what if, the what could be, and the why it wont work for me excuses.
Youre willing to waste years of your life walking away from your dreams instead of
 running toward your destiny
Dont ever be afraid to put yourself in a lesser position so that you can learn som
ething from someone who knows more

The most common phobia people have is the Fear of public speaking. Some people dread
public speaking even more than death. Most of us live with this fear throughout
our lives. Being an underrated skill we fail to get proper guidance to overcome
our stage fright. As schools and colleges do not provide any training on public
speaking, most of us lack the confidence to speak in public when we reach adult
hood. Public speaking is necessary for each one of us irrespective of our age or
profession. If you are wondering how public speaking can help you in your life,
then let me list out some of its benefits?
As public speaking boosts your confidence levels there are more chances of you s
ucceeding at job interviews
You will be more comfortable working in a team and giving effective presentation
s and seminars in the workplace. This improves your professional life and your r
elationship with your colleagues.
As a confident speaker you will be comfortable breaking the ice and starting con
versations with strangers. This expands your social circle and improves your per
sonal life.
If you are passionate about public speaking then you can also consider being a p
rofessional speaker. There are many people out there who make a living out of sp
eaking or use it as a source of additional income.
With all these and many more rewards that it offers dont you feel it is worth conq
uering your fear of public speaking? Let us look into some ways to overcome our
fear of public speaking.
1. Take the Plunge
The only way you can get over your fear of public speaking is by going ahead and
speaking. It might sound counter intuitive but this is true. The longer we wait
to do whatever it is that is causing the fear, the more intense our fear would
become. So go ahead and give that speech or presentation you have been pondering
over for such a long time. Enroll yourself in public speaking groups or organiz
ations like toastmasters club where you get to constantly challenge yourself and
move out of your comfort zone. (Check the Toastmasters International website ?
http://www.toastmasters.org/ to know more about this organization and to find a
club near your area)
2. Mind matters
Dr. Robert Schuller once said You are what you think about all day long. This statem
ent is true when it comes to public speaking. We all have this preconceived noti
on about the things we can do and the things we cannot do. I have heard some peo
ple say OhI am such a terrible speaker When I ask them how many speeches they have gi
en so far, they would say Well none How can you assume that you are not good at some
hing even before trying it?
Change these self -sabotaging beliefs you are holding in your mind. You can beco
me a good speaker only when you believe you can.
3. Preparation pays
Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration ? Thomas Edison
I remember my initial stages of transformation from a shy and incompetent speake
r to a more confident speaker. I would practice my speech around 15-20 times bef
ore delivering it in Toastmasters club. This preparation played a major role in
alleviating the jitters I would feel on the day of my speech. When you are well
prepared you are more confident that your speech would turn out well and this ke
eps you in a relaxed mode.
Public speaking is not an inborn talent but rather a skill which can be cultivat
ed by anyone. Its true that for some people it comes naturally but even they have
to practice in order to spruce up their skills. I have seen some excellent speak
ers not doing well due to lack of preparation. A word of caution though ? Do not
over practice. Preparation should be done well in advance and just relax in the
in the last 15-30 minutes before delivering your speech .
4. Know your audience
Get to know your audience. We get nervous when we are speaking in front of a gro
up of strangers. If we were to give the same speech in front of our friends we w
ould not be that fearful. Try mingling with few people in the audience before st
arting out your speech. This makes you feel that those in the audience are not a
liens but people just like you. Apart from relaxing your tension this also helps
in improving your connection with the audience.
5. Reach out to like-minded people
The best thing about joining a public speaking group is that you get to meet peo
ple who are highly supportive and encouraging. You realize that you are not alon
e; in fact there are millions of people out there with the same mission as yours
. You get inspired by those who have transformed from a timid speaker to a confi
dent speaker. You think If he is capable of doing it then why not me? You also learn
a lot from the experienced speakers. They will be ready to lend you a helping h
and by giving you tips on how they have achieved success. There are also people
who can give you some genuine feedback on the areas you are good at and the area
s you need to work on.
6. Take criticism positively
We all love to receive compliments but when it comes to criticism we prefer to b
e on the giving end rather than the receiving end. The successful you are, the m
ore criticisms you will have to handle so learn to handle them with a positive a
ttitude. I have seen people who have given up after receiving few negative comme
nts from their peers. Dont dwell on your criticisms. When someones giving you a nega
tive feedback take it as an opportunity to learn and grow, not a reason to quit.
7. Persevere
Be patient. Do not expect things to change in a jiffy. Some people might take mo
re time to improve and others might take less. Do not push yourself too hard by
comparing yourself with others. Just go with the flow.
8. Let go of the perfectionist in you
There are people who are unable to take the first step, forever waiting to attai
n a state of perfection. You feel that your speech is not perfect or your prepar
ation is not up to the mark and wait endlessly for the moment when you would fee
l everything is perfect. But that moment never comes resulting in never ending p
rocrastination. You dont have to be perfect in order to be good speaker. All that
matters is how passionate you are about what you are saying. Just speak from you
r heart and your audience will appreciate you for your sincerity.
9. Bounce back
Failures are stumbling blocks to success. Let me quote my personal experience he
re ? It was my 9th speech in toastmasters club. After uttering few lines, my min
d went blank and I forgot my entire speech. Standing silent I tried to recollec
t the speech but could not recall a word. I pulled out the sheet where I had wri
tten my speech, went through it for few minutes and then continued the speech fr
om where I had left. It was a bit disappointing at that moment but not as dreadf
ul as we think. Now looking back I am glad to have experienced this. Had this no
t happened I would not have been overjoyed after successfully delivering my 10th
speech. You learn a lot from your failures. Resist the temptation to give up an
d keep bouncing back
10. Celebrate your success
We often take our success for granted. Reward yourself for the success you have
achieved however small it might be. Give yourself a pat on the back for having t
he courage to get over your fear. By rewarding yourself you will feel good and s
tay motivated to take the next step.
Dont take yourself very seriously. Approach public speaking with a committed yet p
layful manner. Children rarely experience stage fright because they approach pub
lic speaking in a playful manner. They are having fun while doing it. Adopt the
same attitude
Let today be the day you take the first step to triumph over your public speakin
g fear. So go ahead and rock the stage.