Bridging the Gap between Home and School: Guidelines for Parents and Teachers Recognize that home and school have different goals, tasks, situations, and constraints. Schools focus primarily on academic preparation, secondarily on socialization. At home, the focus is primarily on socialization, secondarily on academics, Both are very important in their long-term effects on gifted children, though of the two, homes may be more crucial The ideal is for both to work together, to avoid conflicts, or to bridge gaps Misunderstandings, differences in expectations, and disap- pointments can usually be avoided if parents become involved in the school fanctions early and continually Parents, making yourself known to teachers, principals, guidance counselors, ete. early and frequently isimportant. Parents should offer to help teachers, ibrarians, etc. ways that benefic al childten, not just “gifted” students. Avoid appearing, elitist. Gifted childsen’s educational needs are often different but gifted children are not necessarily “better” 19Gifed Parent Groups: The SENG Model * Support school efforts to plan for gifted children, Help to interest the PTA and the school administration/school board in the topic. Support study groups on gifted children and similar cooperative endeavors. Ask if parents can attend school in-service programs on gifted children. © Parents, make periodic gifis of books, articles, or tapes about gifted children to the teacher, principal, guidance counselor, or librarian © Parents and teachers must not give he impression of pushing or exhibiting a child, but should continually strive to give the child whatever he or she needs to reach his or her potential. © Teachers most often fear or expect that parents of gifted children will be “unguided missiles” and critically demand ing of special favors for their children. Parents most often fear or expect that teachers will not understand and will retaliate on their children. Rarely is either one true, ® Teachers ate increasingly more informed about gifted children and their special educational needs, but they are also often hampered by the constraints of the educational system within which they work and by their responsibilities to the other children they teach. The search for solutions to school problems must start with the realities of the class- room, in the same way that solutions to home problems ‘must start with the realities there. * Ifa problem seems to exist between home and school, first consider that what the child cells you is that childs percep- tion. The problem may be with the perception rather than with the situation, * Parent-teacher consultations are strongly recommended. Not only do they allow sharing of information and avoid- ance of being manipulated by the child, but they also promote building of a focused alliance to stimulate the child’s achievement and self-concept.—————_——__—. Appendix G Bridging the Gap benven Home and Schoo: * Define concretely for yourself what you hope to aceom- lish in the parent-teacher meeting(), and begin to formulate a specific plan for achieving those goals * Prior to your conference, evaluate what new information You have, and consider how your information might differ from what the teacher or parent knows about the child, Seek to share observations and information, * How much of your information can the other use construc tively? Will your information demonstrate a pattern, Promote understanding, or evoke compassion? Or will it fighten the other, lead co unhelpful behavior, or disrupt the relationship with the child? © Expres understanding of the other person’s feelings and viewpoints in the situation. Atempt to engage che other as an ally rather than as an cnemy. Be sensitive to the other possibly feeling invaded * Avoid blaming, Recognize that most persons do not act out of malice, but rather they drift into problem situations through oversight, lack of information, or by attempting to handle too many responsibilities. Only rarely is there a teacher or parent who just doesn’t care or who is actively malicious. * Avoid trying to bludgeon insight or your point of view into others. Ir does not work and only results in resentment and hardening of positions. © Initially, ask for the other’ overall perceptions of the child — hhow the child is doing and what the teachers or parent’ Plans are. This allows you to learn where you are starting from and may bring some pleasant surprises.