Will Thrower

Malcolm Campbell

UWRT 1104

5 April 2017

Extended Inquiry Project Draft Commented [HT1]: More intriguing title

With over 36% of adults being obese in the United States, the health concerns become a

huge issue that our nation is the posterchild for. It leads some to wonder why obesity is so

prevalent, and what has been implemented to change it. The question remains, is obesity an

inherent problem in America? Commented [HT2]: I like your thesis, its a good start. I
recommend adding more background or information
about you topic. This will allow the reader to know more
Firstly, it is important to note that obesity is often a product of socioeconomic status. The about what your essay will cover.
Commented [HT3]: First
upper middle class is rarely obese, and the middle class to an even lesser extent. Most obesity in

the United States rests in the lower class despite the misconception that more money equals more

food. Since the lower class works jobs that pay low wages, the money is frequently spent on fast Commented [HT4]: Very nice point

food chains. The convenience of fast food is undeniable. In a hustling American economy,

people do not have time to cook healthier meals at home. People go to work and there is always

a commute involved. With all of the advertising and street side fast food joints, it becomes

unavoidable in a pinch. Going through a drive through does not require anyone to get out of Commented [HT5]: Awkward

their cars. Single moms can feed all of their children with a card swipe and less than five Commented [HT6]: can feed their children

minutes of their time. Grocery shopping requires significantly more time that many people

cannot find a way to fit in their day. There is also a significant relationship between obesity

prevalence and occupation-based social class for women. The prevalence of obesity for women

in unskilled occupations is almost twice that of those in professional occupations (National

Obesity Observatory). After grocery shopping, people have to prepare the food for their families Commented [HT7]: This is a great statistical quote. I
would talk more about it in the following sentence
which requires even more time and knowledge. Commented [HT8]: I would take this sentence out or
move it. I believe it is awkwardly placed.
The problem with the fast food industry is that it has gotten far too powerful. There were Commented [HT9]: I agree. I go to fast food restaurants
frequently because they are convenient.
14,155 McDonalds restaurants in America in the year 2016. This number is increasing and does

not include all the other fast food restaurants. Fast food is notoriously unhealthy, and high in

fat/calories. Food proportions in fast food restaurants are oversized as well. The average person

does not need to be eating the amount of calories that is in something deep fried each day. If the Commented [HT10]: Take out be

government were to regulate the quality of what is put into fast food and set restrictions on

calories, it would greatly benefit the health of people and decrease obesity throughout the states.

Obesity turns inherent with our parents and children. More than one third of adults who

earn less than $15,000 a year were obese when compared to 25% who earn more than $50,000 a

year (Blumenthal). These numbers trickle down to children, raising obesity rates, and if they

stay present in their economic status, the obesity often continues to the next generation. School

systems often do not reach the lower classes in providing nutritional education. When lack of

knowledge, money, and fast food come into play, children have a recipe for obesity. Lower

income families sometimes live in areas where it is unsafe to play outside, making exercise and

weight loss much more difficult. Eating habits are developed subconsciously through time and

what the body adjusts to. In order to change these habits, it starts with parents. If people do not

want the next generation to be overweight, it will have to start with eating habits implemented by Commented [HT11]: Change to must

parents and exercise for overall health. While there are some programs like the Healthy Hunger

Free Kids Act that are implemented, there is not enough right now to prevent obesity.

Many will argue that diet and exercise cannot be denied as a means of reducing[TW6] and

preventing obesity. Everyone has a certain caloric intake that they need to consume per day to
retain their weight. Depending on factors like exercise level, age, metabolism, and size, the

caloric intake varies. It would be an easy task for Americans to figure out what they need per

day and keep a mental note of it. If one is not cutting around 200-500 calories below this level

each day, they will not lose weight. Also, if one is consuming more than the daily intake, they Commented [HT12]: Nice statistic

will gain weight. It is a common misconception that eating healthy foods will make you lose

weight. Weight loss will only happen when measured by calories. If someone exceeds their

caloric intake by eating grilled salmon and asparagus all week they will still gain weight in the

form of fat if they do not exercise. Another common misconception is that lifting weights will

promote muscle growth and fat loss. Lifting weights expends very few calories[TW7] in

comparison to cardio and will not promote a healthier looking physique if the person exercising

is already overweight. Cardio is the most efficient way of burning calories and in turn, burning

fat. Running is one of the most simple ways to burn excess calories. Controlled diet and

exercise does not work for everyone because they are inconsistent. In order to notice results, it

takes weeks, months, and even years. Again, many people do not have the time to workout and

diet while working or taking care of children. Americans also live by the philosophy of instant

gratification and speed. People do not want to work very hard for something, they would rather Commented [HT13]: Very true. I would create a new
paragraph
take a magic pill, and if the results do not come quickly, they give up. Many people will not

stick to one plan either because they do not see the results fast enough so they change to another

plan that may not be suited to them. Consistency is key in losing weight. School systems do not

place enough importance on nutritional knowledge and personal fitness. Rather than playing

sports that involve short bursts of energy, more time should be spent on personal fitness and

energy expenditure. If more classes requiring physical activity like running were implemented

into elementary education, it would change the priority of personal health and consumption .
Teachers would be able to inform children of the dangers of eating too much fast food,

supporting the industry, not eating healthier home cooked meals, and the downsides of not

exercising and being sedentary. Electronics and exercise alike release dopamine into the brain

satisfying the hunger for happiness, however the electronic rush is much easier to attain in a

world saturated with cell phones, computers, and gaming devices.

The health complications are unprecedented. Now that Children have adopted these new Commented [HT14]: Take out these

eating habits with a lack of exercise, the health issues come much earlier as a side effect. People

under the age of 23 with type 2 diabetes has doubled between 2011 and 2015. During the same

four years, obesity diagnosis jumped 94% in toddlers and infants, and 154% among people aged

19-22 (Appleby). The personal complications stemming from obesity are monstrous with type 2

diabetes, stroke, heart disease, and cancer all being common side effects. According to the CDC

these are some of the leading causes of preventable death. The CDC also reports that non Commented [HT15]: Make this into one sentence

hispanic blacks have the highest obesity rates at 42.5% (CDC). This is partially due to

socioeconomic status, as it is statistically proven that those with higher incomes are less likely to

be obese than those with lower incomes. A large card played into obesity is the fast food

industry since it often appeals to lower income families who feed it to their children. Children

develop eating habits at a young age based on what their parents taught them. When the drive

through becomes a part of everyday life rather than healthy home cooked meals, it takes a toll on

personal health and strengthens the industry. The value of consuming less and eating healthier

appears to be more clear than ever with the statistics coming from the CDC.

In conclusion, obesity is a huge inherent problem in the United States. For some

time[TW10] , the economy has altered the minds of Americans to believe that people are born to

consume. We consume in all forms whether it be in retail stores, in real estate, or in food. There
must be something done to stop it. Firstly the government needs to get involved. Stricter Commented [HT16]: Change this to First

regulations on what can go in fast food restaurants and how many fast food restaurants there can

be need to be put in place. Secondly, school systems need to be reformed nationwide. Adding

physical exercise and nutritional class requirements throughout elementary school to high school

will fix these issues. This will ingrain the positives of exercise, nutrition, and dieting, and ensure

the negatives of being obese are not overlooked. Lastly, it is within the control of people to

change their childrens lives as well as their own lives. If people are not willing to fix the

problem at the source, it will only get worse, this is why it is so incredibly important to start with

changing the youth. If the youth is changed, generations after will flourish and be healthier

because of it. Over time, socioeconomic status will change and weight will most likely fluctuate

as a result. Some of the causes of obesity will work themselves out, yet many require

governmental involvement and personal interest. Overall, the United States will head in the right

direction since it is in a current trend of health consciousness and body appearance. Only time

will tell what happens on a grand scale, but personal change is always up to you.
 Resources:
Overweight & Obesity. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention, 17 Nov. 2016, www.cdc.gov/obesity/.
Appleby, Julie. Obesity-Linked Diagnoses On The Rise Among Kids And Teens. NPR, NPR,
12 Jan. 2017, www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/01/12/509374443/obesity-linked-
diagnoses-on-the-rise-among-kids-and-teens.
Savona-Ventura, Charles, and Stephanie Savona-Ventura. The Inheritance of Obesity.YBEOG
Best Practice & Research Clinical Obstetrics & Gynaecology, vol. 29, no. 3, 2015, pp. 300308.
Blumenthal, M.D. Susan. Poverty And Obesity: Breaking The Link. The Huffington Post,
TheHuffingtonPost.com, 11 Apr. 2012, www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-blumenthal/poverty-
obesity_b_1417417.html.
Obesity and Socioeconomic Status. Encyclopedia of Obesity,
doi:10.4135/9781412963862.n341.

Hey Will,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading you essay! Obesity is a growing problem today, especially
in the United States. I agree with you about fast food being a powerful contributor to the
problem. Overall you essay is well written. However, there are some grammatical errors, such as
the use of the word firstly. I tried to comment on all the ones I found. Also, some sentences
were awkwardly put/placed. I would suggest creating new paragraphs at some points or moving
the sentence to another place. Once you expand further on some areas I believe your EIP will be
in very good shape.
- Taylor