Happiness and Meaning

1. What is the purpose of (your/ human) existence?

The purpose of my human existence is to have and show these seven things
compassion, gratitude, loyalty, friendship, love, stability and discovering or knowing
yourself. For me personally kindness can go a long way and from kindness comes
gratitude and from gratitude comes loyalty from this springs friendship and thats
when love comes into place and finally you discover yourself in the process of giving
or receiving these seven keys. Knowing yourself is freedom too and I believe that is
the pinnacle of happiness.

2. Happiness is to be content and all of the connections I have are what makes me
happy. So my friends and my family are what make who I am, my experiences also
have made me happy because each person you meet teaches you something be it a
good or bad lesson of which there is really not anything that could be a bad lesson.

3. To live a meaningful life is to contribute for the better of society. If we look at all
of the people remembered today they all contributed a valuable lesson to all of us
today. For a couple of examples Hitler, hes not the best person to remember but he
is remembered because he showed us that as humans we have to learn to live and
accept each other for our diversity and not repeat his mistakes. Mother Teresa was
one of the greatest teachers and showers of compassion. Nelson Mandela passed
down the honor that came with being the first black president in South Africa. And
so if we all contribute the little things that we have to offer they could make a big
difference.

Sunshine
Dark brown, full lips and skin kissed by the sun. Breathing in the unbearably
excruciating hot air coming from the outside of her window. Burnt lungs from all the
cigarettes that leave a sour taste in her mouth. She chuckled at the thought that
popped into her head after she flicked the ash off the cigarette and out of her
window into the worlds cold cold air. Cigarettes reduce your lifespan by ten years
she thought, so they are death in anticipation. Ah death how nice it would be to
float her way into oblivion. The light is gone, day's end just another one past, still
struggling to pay rent even with the long nights and strange men. But how strange
were they? We all have our demons.

She shut out her thoughts when she realized her shift was in half an hour, oh well
she thought, she could barely hear her thoughts over the loud sounds coming from
the city the noise pollution in Johannesburg. Most late afternoons she could hear the
couple in the next apartment argue, it usually ended with Mrs. Dongo on the floor
crying and mumbling for mercy or either saying something to provoke her husband
even more. How typical, this was so common around here it got old. She grabbed
her coat and ran into the bathroom to make sure she looked decent enough to go to
work, it really didnt make a difference. She took some cash from the pile of
crumpled money on the kitchen counter, then left for work so she could catch the
5:30 bus.

As hot as it was she couldnt help but think about how cold it really was, as she
approached the bus stop she could see the face of a man she recognized. It was
that fellow from next door, she remembered him from his late night visit a couple of
days ago, or perhaps it was weeks oh well it didnt matter. Or perhaps he was the
fellow who bothered her for her cell number everyday. They all started to look and
sound the same. They all boarded the bus and the fellow smiled at her. She
immediately sat on the single seat to avoid him and his constant questions, she
would rather feel his gaze from a distance than have him in her ear. She just
prefered to be alone, she wasnt lonely not right now anyways but its hard to be
alone when you have so many demons to keep you company. A pregnant woman
sat directly across her and she felt a sharp pain in her heart and some tears started
to form on her eyelids, she quickly wiped away the first one that fell out. What a
beautiful thing to have life growing inside you but it can also be a burden if there is
no hope for a future. She kept telling herself, some things have to be done and
looked away in order to focus on something else.

After a long bus ride she finally got to her stop which was a block away from her
work. Johannesburg was almost as loud as her thoughts with all the car horn sounds
echoing around the city in harmony with the buzzing sound of all the voices around
her. It was enjoyable to walk to work. You could even say therapeutic, because at
least she didnt feel alone surrounded by the large crowd of people. She finally got
to the corner store at about 6:00 as usual. She signed in on her shift schedule and
stood by the counter. It wasnt the best but it paid the bills and got her what she
needed, besides, it was nice to see people come in and out, she would imagine their
life stories based on what they bought. At least this way she could put meaning to
her life. A woman walked up to the counter and she attempted to make small talk
because her boss always reminded her to be polite, the woman was darker than
her, similar to a blue black shade and yet she had the most beautiful afro. This
woman seemed to be in a rush, she was shaking and she couldnt help but wonder
what stole her calmness. She bought some hair dye and relaxer,why would she
want to change her appearance? Was she running away from a past that had caught
up with her? As soon as all of her items were ringed up she ran out faster than the
speed of light.

Looking at the clock she noticed it was 8:00 and her shift was over, time to go
home. After arriving at her bus stop she walked as fast as she could to her
apartment, it wasnt safe for any woman around this part of town. She walked into
her apartment and past her kitchen, her trash was full of used needles and that was
no surprise. Gazing around her apartment she noticed all the empty bottles
covering most if not all of the surfaces in her house. This angered her but more than
that it made her despondent, all she wanted now was a cigarette to help numb the
pain at least for a little while. After her few quiet moments she went into her
bedroom to scrunge up something to wear, she found her black lace corset and
decided she would wear that to resemble death. She took those pantyhose that
were ripped all through the side and left her house, she didnt carry much she would
be back soon anyways.

She walked two blocks away from her building to her usual spot, she stood there at
the corner with her back against the wall as if the wall was her only strength and all
that she had left to go on. A car flashed its lights toward her, she always hated the
lights. She pulled up to the window to negotiate and realised that it was Mr. Dongo.
Oh well, she thought, doesnt mean much to me. They drove to a nearby alley and
he stopped the car, she hoped he wouldnt speak. She did not care too much about
what he had to say, we all do things for our own reasons, she didnt want to hear
his. She shut out all her emotions and thoughts and let him go about his business,
all she remembered after was walking up the stairs to get to her door. There was a
ringing sound in her ears and she could feel the tears starting to flood out. She let
the water run while she got her needle and the rest of the kit out, as it penetrated
her skin she began to feel alive again and she loved it. As she sat in the bathroom
tub that night she thought, more than she had ever thought before, she thought
about how it come to this?

Eventually the pain becomes too much and you cloud it so much that it ends up
never going away.

Her arm was covered in marks, cuts; each one had a reason behind it. She always
found solace in cutting herself because physical pain was the only way she knew
how to express her deep melancholy. One cut and all the pain would go away, she
slowly put the razor to her skin she pressed harder and moved her hand straight
from her wrist to her elbow she was halfway through with her arm when she felt
that death had come to claim her. What could her last thoughts be? Everyone
always had good ones she imagined and she closed her eyes and saw the stars, she
was powerless to even finish her arm and she began to fade away with tears of
joy on her face.

This story connects with my personal philosophy because I looked at this woman's
life as one person's perspective and also their reality. And my philosophy is that
your perspective of your situation moulds your reality, so because she chose to
enclose herself in the depths of her depression she could never mould a positive
reality for herself. I do believe that life is what you make it and if she had chosen
the slightest positive outlook or if she made any positive decision at all she would
have mastered her true self and she would've been the woman in the painting. This
is a direct reflection of my life or anyone elses we all have our demons but it is up
to us to slay them or they will eat us alive.
Artist statement
My first art piece is of a woman who is crying black tears. In this art piece there are
no colors, this image however consists of drops of black paint and a white
background. I chose these two collaborations because,white is simply the presence
of light and black is the absence of light. Even though the white is absent the black
drops over it represent how negative energy or choosing to live in the negative can
cloud positive energy from emerging in your life. The drops are also meant to
resemble prison cell bars, however this is a mental jail. One can only be free when
these chose to set themselves free.

Cloudy Days

Tchau, tenha um bom dia! she said to her students as they left the classroom in a
hurry as they always did. She had been living in this small village for about six
months now. When she first started learning how to speak portuguese she never
imagined that a year later she would have moved to Mozambique. After all, how
could she refuse, her best friend Paida had stumbled across this volunteer program
and Paida had always been one for travel and adventure. I needed a break after
college anyways she thought to herself, being a literature teacher was more than
she could ask for, especially for such a poor community.

Being a teacher to her was more than just her job, she remembered being a child
herself in school and aiming for success. Her mother always reminded her that she
was their ticket out poverty, her education meant everything to her and her
parents. In high school she graduated top of her class and received a scholarship
for her college education. So having come from a small village in Mozambique
herself she understood how important it was to educate her people and hopefully
inspire them. Giving back to a community in need was the least she could do after
the opportunities she had received.

As she walked to the staff quarters she remembered she was expecting a call from
Mrs Dongo. This was the woman who offered her the scholarship, and was now
offering her a job. After college she received many job offers from all over the
world, the offer Mrs dongo made did not compare to most as she would be working
in a local area, not to mention the salary could not be compared to the other offers.
But this didnt disappoint her at all, after all she had Mrs Dongo to thank for her
education opportunity the least she could do was join her in her business ventures.
Tinashe approached her with her cell phone ringing Hello she heard Mrs Dongos
voice, How are you doing?. The conversation went on and on until Mrs Dongo
finally asked what she usually had asked towards the end of the call, So will you be
joining me? Yes! I would love to. She could hear the joy that came from Mrs
Dongo well, thats amazing we will start making arrangements as soon as possible,
speak soon!. She turned to Tinashe and smiled Its settled she said were moving
to maputo.

Tinashe had made good impression the first time they met eight months ago, he
had to have if he was her fiance now right? He was from Zimbabwe but they met in
times of training and she fell in love with him. Eight months down the line they are
engaged to be married and more than she could ask for. Why dont we go to the
peak of the valley, Is there something you want to tell me? he asked. She moved
quietly and squeezed his hand, as they approached the peak she felt anxious. They
stood there for a while gazing at the golden purple colors presented by the
beautiful sunset. She lay his hand on her stomach and said You are going to be a
father. Tears began to rush down his face, he lifted her off the ground and kissed
her. Nothing could be more perfect.

As they walked back to the village she couldnt see past his bright smile and she
could hear him in the background of her thoughts suggesting baby names. I have
to tell Paida she thought. By the time they got back it was dinner time, everyone
was proceeding to the staff dining hall. Paida sat right next to her as usual, she
searched the world for the right words to say, every time she opened her mouth
nothing would come out. Finally Paida asked you havent been eating much these
past few weeks, whats going on?. You are going to be an aunt she said. She
lifted up her face to observe Paidas reaction. Before she knew it she was being
embraced warmly and the anxiety silenced because she knew she had all the
support she needed.

That night as she lay in bed she thought back, way back to when she was younger
and she wondered what kind of a person she would be when she was older. This
was often because her Aunt was terrible to her, she used to beat her and call her
foul names. But she always told herself she would be better than that, and to make
sure that no one would have to be in her shoes. Perhaps thats why kindness came
so easily to her, because it was second nature. Thinking about where she was now
and far shed come, how much she had grown as a person she was completely
happy and convinced that she would rather be nowhere else at all.

This story connects with my personal philosophy because there are always two
sides to the story, thus two possibilities of us being different people and having a
different life. Instead of having a negative perspective like the woman in the first
story, instead she chose to use the seven keys and thus was happier.

Artist statement
In my painting a pregnant woman is standing and looking up as if speaking to
someone. Her body is painted with assorted bright colors. All these colors resemble
different emotions that we experience over time and leave buried in our souls.
Each color is a specific emotion, and since most of them are bright they resemble
the positive energy that this woman kept in her life,she chose to focus on it
therefore letting it consume her. The background is yellow the color of sunshine, as
the title to each story is contradictory to the content of the stories.