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By Derick Pagan

Billionaire celebrity Elon Musk

THIS JUST IN! Bought the Moon yesterday.
Believe or not. Elon Musk did it.
The cast of Fresh Prince of Bel Air After 4 years of secret negotiations
during their recent reunion with all the world leaders,
announced that they will be Musk finally accomplished the deal.
appearing in the famously known He is now the owner of the
reality TV show The Real World, Moon, SpaceX, PayPal, Tesla, and
but this time the series has added Hyperloop.
a second "famous family" which is
For the next 2 years Musk is planing
the cast from "Fuller House." The to do 12 cargo flights to the moon.
show location is yet to be Also he is planing to move the Moon
announced but there are rumors to Mars when he moves there. This
that it will be in Las Vegas! It will sounds like Science Fiction but it is
be interesting to see the things that true. There is nothing impossible for
will stir up. Will Smith says he is the Iron Man.
excited for this new adventure.
There are many people looking Ilka Avramova
forward to this TV show. The show
is set to premiere January 2018.
-Yitzel Guzman

Puppy outrage!! -Derick Pagan

Screaming, bleeding, and words not to be repeated were all thrown down in the puppy boutique of
Puppy pawzz in The City of LA when Demi Lovato went to go and pick up her dog Batman from
the Groomers when she realized how terrible Batman looked. As she inspected her pup, she
noticed cuts on his ears and his nails were bleeding. When she asked why his hair was cut so
horribly the front desk attendant said that nothing was wrong. Annoyed with the girl she decided to
climb over the to go and speak to the groomers. As the front desk attendant tried to hold her back
Demi punched the girl leaving her with a broken and bloody nose. As Demi approached the back of
the groomers she saw that none of the groomers wre even using the proper tools; and they seemed
very unprofessional. She got straight to it and reported the issue to the police and they came
straight to the scene. Demi was being charged with battery towards the attendant and trespassing.
As of now the police are in an ongoing investigation of why these employees were hired and if
there has been any harm to the other animals.

Celebrity sighting: Nelly Furtado
found?
by Brittany Patrick
For years now people have been
asking one question: What happened
to Nelly Furtado? There's been no
sightings of her since the radio
ceased playing her music. Fans across
the world were left wondering if she
ever existed at all, or if this idol was
an example of the Mandela Effect.
This Sunday, the world was given
proof that she is still around.
Christopher Robin, resident of the
Hundred Acre Woods, has this to say:
"We first saw Ms. Furtado in the
forest. Pooh was looking for honey,
but instead found what we thought
was a savage beast. In reality, it was
just Ms. Furtado wearing a wolf
costume in hopes to blend in. When
we questioned her, she said that she
was not Nelly Furtado, but instead
'The Man Eater'. Residents have been
steering clear of her for now, though
Tigger has had a few encounters." So,
what's next for Nelly? Her appearance
leaves more questions than answers.
Tune in to our next article for more
information.
Fred Savage from The Wonder Years,
has just entered Americas got talent.
He is entering this fall of 2017.
Rumors say that since his appearance
on the hit TV series The Wonder
Years, his appearance has changed
quite dramatically. According to TMZ,
Fred has been in and out of treatment
centers since 2003 with an addiction
to eating sand. This has created
Freds skin to appear as though he
has fish scales with many of dark
wort sans freckles. No one knows
what his talent is that he will be
performing on Americas got Talent,
but fans are eagerly waiting to see
what he has in store!
Sari Birkenbuel
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Ashley Vidal
Shes known almost
everywhere in the world. Her fans call
her: Bee, Mothe, Juju, Sasha
Fierce, or Queen B. Yes, everyone,
its Beyonce. Everyone probably
already knows that Queen B has
been quite pregnant with her twins.
Though her belly is swollen, our
Queen is still looking good. How does
she do it? Well, LV Journal were able
to catch up with Yonce a few days
ago and she has blessed us with a
few minutes to answer some
questions on how she keeps up with
her looks while being pregnant. The
secret is: ketchup and placenta.
With
our journalist mouth agape, I was
able to get a hold of myself and ask
how and why. She says that its not
for eating, but as a face and belly
mask. Apparently, ketchup and
placenta are good for collagen and
toning of the skin. If I may say so,
that is some freaky skin regime, but if
Queen B says so, well I guess Ill have
to as well.
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In Reality TV This Week:
Traci Pollard
Roseanne Conner has been
selected to become the next
Bachelorette. When asked what
will be different about this
upcoming season, she
mentions wanting to hand out
beers instead of roses. Conner
states "I consider myself a
pretty good judge of people, Cabs are Here!
that's why I don't like most of
em." Chris Harrison has not Just In: Bob Barker is on his way to First Pump and GTL in
said much since the news Seaside Heights. The Price is Right meets Jersey Shore! Thats
broke to the air, cameramen
rights, folks- Barker has officially joined the cast of the Jersey
have mentioned that he has
been hiding out a lot more Shore alongside notoriously famous faces, Nicole Snooki
than usual. This season Polizzi-LaValle, Jennifer JWOWW Farley, Pauly D, and The
premieres Monday, May 1st at Situation AKA Michael Sorrentino. The former television game
7 pm Central time. host who once said, You can't fool television viewers with
dancing girls and flashing lights, will now be sipping the
special Ron Ron Juice, looking Fresh to Death and hitting
the household go-to move, the Fist Pump! Barker recently
Tweeted that, Age is just a number, and I couldnt be any
more excited than to start this new chapter of my life. Is this
a sign that Barker (93) is now going through a 'mid-life crisis?'
The MTV hit is scheduled to make its way onto television
screens this upcoming summer. Check back soon where I
bring you more scoop on this must-see extravagant season!

Breaking- Tensions mounting high between Chip and Joanna Gaines, from
HGTV's hit show Fixer Upper and their newest client: The Addams Family.
Storywriter/Editor-In-Chief: Adrian Duarte
Joanna is reportedly struggling to meet the unique aesthetic requirements
of her client and does not want the Addams Family mansion featured in the
next season of her show. A source close to Morticia Addams states,
"Morticia admires Joanna's drive and creativity but finds Joanna's penchant
for pastels reminiscent of a certain ex-sister-in-law that infiltrated their

family in the 90s."

This sister-in-law is Deborah "Debbie" Jellinsky, a serial killer and
black widow who disappeared mysteriously following an explosion at
Fester Addams' million-dollar abode.
HGTV has yet to provide commentary on the matter.
-Marilyn Gonzalez
SHOCKING!
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Teen Mom, Leah Messer pregnant,
again! Recently, a reliable source
contacted TMZ about Messer's secret Genesis Rodriguez,
pregnancy. When confronted, Messer
seemingly upset and annoyed, denied Breaking news, we just found out that
the allegations. Apparently Messer is the Winchester brothers, also known
not expecting a baby, she is expecting as Sam and Dean that originate from
two! The story gets really complicated America, are off to Oz to fight off the
wicked witch of the west also known
as Elphaba Thropp, mostly known as
a radical for animal rights in Oz.
After what the Ozians thought
Dorthey and her dog extinguished the
witch, she is back to cause more
trouble than what she had left. She
caused quite a curse on a munchkin
however when discussion of the known as Boq that turned into a tin
father is brought up. Apparently, Leah man, and Fiyero (her lover) who she
and ex husband Corey Simms have turned into a scare crow, and made
been having secret affairs, kept from the cowardly lion cowardly after
the knowledge of Corey's wife, setting him lose to the wild when he
Miranda. The source claims this has was just a cub. Elphaba is known to
been going on for a few months now cause mayhem and terrorize Ozians
during exchanges of the kids, and on a peaceful day. Her green skin and
most likely Corey is the father. They pointed nose is a terrifying thing to
were no longer meeting half way at a see. Her known weakness is water but
public place. After moving closer to the Winchester brothers think theres
Corey and Miranda, exchanges of the more than just water that can put this
children have been happening at witch down. With their mighty friend
Leah's house. The source also claims with wings known as Castiel this
that Leah has been talking about should be an easy match to fight.
missing Corey lately and wished they Reporting live, Oz Daily.
could have their family back together.
Breaking News!
-Rebecca Davila
Suzy Delair has been found walking
around the beach in a bikini with
buzzed off green hair! Although she is
100 years old and her body is not
bootylicious like it was 80 years ago,
she says she feels sexier than ever.
Delair claims she wants to completely
revolutionize her life and publicly
announced that she is currently
"getting to know" Brad Pitt. Looks like
love really does blind some people, at
least for Brad Pitt.