Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants.

"I want you to get federal on his ass!"

Well they gave me medication so I feel how I imagine people of average intelligence feel all the time

"I've noticed that very few people are scary, once they've been poked in the eye."

I think size is pretty important.

Columbus shot a man in the head, hung him from a pole, gutted him and set him on fire; and Columbus is
our father.

Bones: God is a lot like the grave digger...

Booth: what, what, what, what, WHAT?!?!?!!

"Do these people believe in DNA?"

Booth: Cops get stuck, we bring in people like you. You know, squints. You know... who squint at things.
Bones: Oh, you mean people with very high IQs and basic reasoning skills?
Booth: Yeah.

Bones: My most meaningful relationships are with dead people.

Booth: Foaming? What would cause that? Too much beer? Or maybe he ate soap?
Bones: You should stop using cartoons as a scientific reference point.

Hodgins: Where's your chest hair?

Booth: I'm highly evolved.
Bones: His pubic extension is entirely within normal (Booth interrupts.)

Bones: Okay. That sounded clinical but felt insulting.

Bones: Well Sweets, you've known me for two years. You should expect to be impressed by me.

Bones: (to Gordan Gordan) I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for him.

Brennan: Who's stronger: Cat Woman or Wonder Woman?

Hodgins and Zack in unison: Wonder Woman.
Brennan: I concur. Vehemently.

Booth: Come on, let's go. (He pulls her up out of her chair)

Bones: Wha... what? Why do I always feel like you're abducting me?
You're ordering a prostitute from my cell phone?

Nothing in this universe happens just once, nothing; infinity goes in both directions. There is no unique
event, no singular moment...

"Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart, though it has nothing to do with my ass."

"Bones broke his wrist."

"He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands."

"I've done my Googling"

""I don't follow current events past the industrial revolution."

"This is... I want to say anomalous, but I'm going to say weird."

"Where am I, in Backwards World?"

Bones: I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.
Booth: Hmm...
Bones: What I just said...it's true. And yet it really sounded wrong. What I should say, is that I don't care
how stupid you are.
(Booth still confused)
Bones: That's not any better?
Booth: No.

Booth: I won't say anything about the scream if you won't say anything about the gun.
Bones: Those terms are satisfactory.

Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?

Bones: To shoot people.
Booth: Not a good response.
Bones: Its the truth!
Booth: You know, Im writing 'self defence in the performance of my duties pursuing suspected felons as
contracted out to the FBI...'
Bones: ..'so I can shoot them'.
Well when the cops get stuck we bring in people like you. You know, squints. You know to squint at
things.
If you have nothing in common, its difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction.
Youre bad with people, okay. No use being offended by the fact.
Objectively Id say Im very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.
What helps me is to pull back emotionally. Just put your heart in a box.
Booth doesnt balk.
Ive never, ever cheated on any woman that Ive ever been with. Never!
What I feel doesnt matter. Only she matters; only Maggie.
Its Christmas Eve Day! Both an eve and a dayits a Christmas miracle!
Youre ordering a prostitute from my cell phone?
Forensic anthropologist! Thats why no gun.
No, Bones. You do fight crime. Its not a fantasy. As far as any normal person is concerned, you do
have superpowers.
Shes my partner, see. And if anything happens to her, I will find you and I will kill you. I wont think
twice.
Next time, you know, you miss me, pick up the phone, call me. Well do lunch..or something.
This conspiracy thing is a lot more intense when youre in the middle of it.
Im not nervous. Im scared. I dont know how to talk to crazy people unless Im dating them.
I want you to get federal on his ass.
Listen, dude, my lab was violated; my bones were stolen, so I think Ill remain warm for a little while
longer.
Jesus is not a zombie! I shouldnt even have to tell you that.
I find intelligence soothing.
Men arent like us. Theyre much more fragile and needy. The fact that they think were the needy
ones is a testament to our superiority.
I know who you are.
Youre human remains and she hasnt made a decision yet.
We make our lives out of chaos and hope. And love.
Im with Bones, Cam. All the way. Dont doubt it for a second.
He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands.
You know what Bones, it might be all anthropology to you, but there are certain people you just
cant sleep with.
You kidding? Hodgins being abducted by men in black? Its a dream come true.
I miss normal people.
Oh you know, them boots, they aint made for walking sweetheart.
I knew you wouldnt give up.
Hey, youre my partner. Its a guy-hug. Take it.
Theres more than one kind of family.
Every single day its with us, theres this line and we cant cross it, you know what Im saying?
I clicked on a pop-up and got caught in a pornado.
Get it together! Start using your over-sized heads! This is the real world. Now, I know bug man here
handed in his resignation. My official Justice Department recommendation is the following: we win
the case, he gets his job back; we lose, Booth shoots him.
Testosterone spill on aisle four.
No bones, no Bones I was the second Bones.
Cant you just be satisfied that if Im wrong about God, Ill burn in hell?
I cant fight or shoot a gun; but if something bad happens, I can spit with deadly accuracy.
This is, I wanna say anomalous, but Im going to go with weird.
Zacks always the murder victim.
This time, Art made Science her bitch.
Angela and Hodgins are fine, Zack is back, Cam is locked in. What I need to know, Bones, is are we
solid? Because, you and me, Bones, were the center.
Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions [nods toward Hodgins] and him.
Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures just circling each other, all searching for
that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places. Some, they just give up
hope because in their mind, theyre thinking Oh, theres nobody out there for me. But all of us, we
keep trying, over and over again. Why? Because, every once in a while every once in a while, two
people meet, and theres that spark. And yes, Bones, hes handsome, and shes beautiful, and
maybe thats all they see at first. But making love making love thats when two people become
one.
Were just partners.
I concur, vehemently!
Daffodil. Daisy. Jupiter.
Why do you always have to correct me? To help you evolve.
Did you just Star Wars us?
Thanks for the gum.
Special Agent Seeley Booth. Special.
You dont play at being a warrior. You are a warrior every day. Youre definitely a fully
developed man.
Dancing phalanges! Dancing phalanges!
Thats a lot of heart, Bones.
Diva, forensic genius, best-selling author, better than Cyndi Lauper
Theres Youre correct. Theres an inconsistency in my reasoning.
Bones! Theyre like the English version of me and you.
I wonder if I can get Congress to pass something like, uh, knighthood. Sir Seeley Booth. Just
sounds right.
There is someone for everyone, someone youre meant to spend the rest of your life with, all right?
You just have to be open enough to see it, thats all.
Ripley was a good dog. He didnt want to fight, but he did it to please his master. And he didnt want
to attack a human being, but he did it to please his master. You know, it wasnt Ripleys fault his
master was cruel and selfish. Like all dogs, Ripley only saw the good in people. Dogs are like that.
People should take a lesson.
Sarcasm does not play well on the forensic platform.
The depressed intern is quite clever.
We already have Agent Booth to make lame jokes. Lets stick to facts.
Theyll never work. Theyre, like, complete opposites.
In working with Booth, Ive come to realize that the quiet man, the invisible man, the man whos
always there for friends and family thats a real alpha male. And I promise my eyes will never be
caught by those shiny baubles again.
All right, what I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair and say, Mr. Booth, do
you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?
Youre a good man, and I want that for her.
Oh, great. Right in the middle of a jurisdictional pissing contest.
Im never gonna make you fall. Im always here.
Any lock worth picking is worth kicking.
I dont need a sitter. Booth gets needlessly protective sometimes. I have no idea why.
Thats my gun.
Have you ever noticed that a sunset looks more beautiful when you share it with someone that you
care about?
Yes! Pinky stumps The Brain!
You know what? Youre the only smart person I really like.
Because you all want to lose yourself in another person. You believe that love is transcendent and
eternal I want to believe that, too.
What are we, the land of misfit toys?
King of the funeral!
Is it worth it? To have your own happiness so contingent on another human being?
Its a scientific fact that their frontal lobes are the size of raisins.
You should know that better than anybody. If you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is
ever gonna touch you.
So youre a murderer; Im unfaithful. We are a very exciting couple!
Youre in love with Dr. Brennan.
All elephants are gray, Agent Booth, but not all gray things are elephants.
I like it. Its Boothy.
Yes! I will be your hamlet of 800 people or less.
Bones doesnt feel pressure to act or do or say anything that she doesnt want to, and no one, no
one, can make her. Thats what makes her Bones.
Listen, Bones, I would do anything for you. I would die for you, I would kill for you, but I
am not getting in between two best friends.
If a man cant have the woman that he loves, he gets a bit crazy.
All right, youve got steel ovaries.
You need to Google Venn diagram.
You know what, Bones? Sometimes I think your heart muscle is bigger than people give you credit
for.
You know, I wont say anything about the scream if you dont say anything about the gun.
Youre a good person. I will never forget what you did for him.
When Booth and I first met, I didnt believe that such a thing as love existed. I maintained that it was
simply brain chemistry, but perhaps Booth is correct. Perhaps love comes first and creates the
reaction. I have no tangible proof, but Im willing to accept Booths premise.
There are mysteries I will never understand, but everywhere I look I see proof that for every effect
there is a corresponding cause. Even if I cant see it. I find that reassuring.
I can still be surprised by people.
Do you believe in fate?
This is the prom I never got to go to.
Bones, you are the standard.
You should expect to be impressed by me.
Why is it that when these things happen, they always happen to the people you dont want to see
naked?
I envy your ability to substitute optimism for reality.
Booth, in a week youre going to a war zone. Please, dont be a hero please, just dont be you.
You know what? You asked my opinion, right? Im gonna give it to you. You listening? Give yourself
a chance to be happy, move on.
I just assumed that when you guys got back from your trip youd be a real couple.
Eureka! A gathering of Guidos!
But its clear, and what do we say about clarity? Its a barbarity that clarity is a rarity!
Its not like you build up an immunity to gunshot wounds.
You had intercourse accidentally? What were you trying to do, Miss Wick?
You so much as mention leaving the country to my daughter and I will choke you on your own
trivia, and stuff your lifeless body in a locker.
And dont think of him as a kid. Just think of him as a short guy who whos not allowed to drink.
I got the signal, Booth. I dont wanna have any regrets.
Im quite beautiful.
Its over. She cant get to any of us anymore.
Well, it means, Bones, that, you know, you could love a lot of people in this world, but theres only
one person that you love the most.
What is it with women who just dont want what Im offering here?
Valentines Day is not a holiday. Its just made up by these greeting card companies and florists.
From where I stand, you are good, and Broadskys bad.
We both have excellent stamina. Making love would be..quite satisfying.
You really are not going to stop until this Canadian foot guy is paralyzed from head to toe.
We dont make any sense at all.
Its amazing how people can ask me to find things, when the real treasure is something completely
different all together.
To things that we dont say.
I know how it feels not to trust anyone. People lie. But bones always tell the truth.
I got into bed with Booth last night.
Im - Im pregnant.
Shes having that baby so the next generation will have someone to make them feel dumb.
Oh, I got to say, Ma'am, this is the best damn job, ever.
I cop, you squint.
You do have some good memories of your father. You told me that. There was the time when the
river froze and he woke you up at midnight to skating, and the time you were sweeping up at his
barbershop when he put on Louis Prima and pretended that the electric razor was a microphone.
And the World Series, your one perfect day together. Those good times with your dad are
happening right now. Theyll always be happening. You deserve to keep those alive.
You lied to me! I could have missed this!
We have a house, Booth. You found our home.
There is a mystery to life.
I missed her so much.
Youre an airplane propeller and Im about to walk into you so I am going to take a step back.
I thought we could search for carrion and rearticulate their skeletons. You know a family project.
How does a baby get suspended from day care?
This is not fair. His ooky room is ookier than mine!
I love you, Booth. I dont want you to think that Christine is the only reason were together.
Well look at that, Bones is back!
I love you. Im willing to do irrational things to prove it.
Not that look, please. Dont give me the sad eyes.You were never able to do this look before the
baby. What did the baby do to you?
(The tiger) was beautiful and rare, just like you.
What-what kind of freak feels nostalgic over human sacrifices?
I cant believe he died with no one knowing what he did.
What can I say? Im a romantic, Bones.
The spark plug you married conducted an unfettered sex life and-and never lived anywhere for
more than a couple of years. You want her back around?