Q: What goes up when rain comes down?

A: An umbrella!

Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?

A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each s

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one spot?

A: A stamp!

Q: If I have it, I dont share it. If I share it, I dont have it. What is it?
A: A Secret.

Q: What is at the end of a rainbow?

A: The letter W!

Q: What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?

A: Silence.

Q: What has one eye but cannot see?

A: A needle

Q; What goes up but never comes down?

A: Your age!

Q: How do you make the number one disappear?

A: Add the letter G and its GONE

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.

Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"

God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player?

She lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.

(Ball= minge, bal. Coach = antrenor, caleasca.)

Q: If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
A: Wet.

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?

A: Nothing, it just waved!

Q: What has many keys but can't open any doors?

A: A piano.

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.

Q: What is orange and sounds like parrot?

A: A carrot

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

Teacher: You must never begin a sentence "I is ...".

Clever student: Please sir, what's wrong with "I is a vowel"

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

There are two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?'
I tried water polo but my horse drowned.