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The Great Game of Literacy

Nathan Duran

The University of Texas at El Paso

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No matter the background of the student, each meets a fork in the road that only their

unique mind can decide on. My path to becoming a literate person is not the stereotypical story

of beating the odds and overcoming the world, but I chose to go far down the road of literacy

with a very competitive mentality.

Reading was never an escape to me like it is to some people. I was born healthy and lived

in a safe neighborhood with happily married parents. I dont remember the actual process I went

through to learn to read but I do remember my early stages of reading. My earliest memories of

becoming a literate person are my trips to the library in the first grades of elementary. I was a

pretty smart little guy that was a little ahead of the class, but I would always be attracted to

reading material beyond my age and could not get through a sentence and grasp the idea. An

interesting book, usually a dense chapter book with an intriguing cover, would grab my attention,

but I would then get discouraged by the vocabulary. Disappointment would consume my mind,

and with reluctance I would place it back on the shelf. This wave of disappointment was like

browsing Toys R Us and being crushed when your mom says you cant have that toy. This

feeling of failure, almost rejection, could also be felt in losing an argument or a peer correcting

me. To come across something I didnt understand or know bothered me, and my hunger for

knowledge began.

I had always been one to read well and lead the class because my parents raised me to do

my best and set an example. But I became competitive when teachers and counselors would

assess our reading skills. They would take us individually into a quiet room and have us read

aloud. Nothing but me, a figure of authority, two chairs, four walls, and a book. When I

discovered I was reading at a level several grade levels above my own I began to realize the
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satisfaction in competing with others. In simple class activities, such as reading a book aloud, I

made sure I was the one reading the clearest, loudest, and never mispronounced a tough word. I

wanted to separate myself intellectually, and the way to do that was to improve my literacy.

The most satisfying part in competing with my classmates was winning. I never bragged

or openly competed, but it was always going on in my head. I was an arrogant student who

never accepted failure just as Sherman Alexie described himself (1997, p. 130). If I paid attention

in class while others screwed around or their eyes glazed over, I could slouch back in the chair of

my desk with a real big chip on my shoulder as graded papers were passed back. I would

casually glance at my "A+" while others panicked and compared papers, and then faced

confusion when they saw mine. The satisfaction of working hard alone in my head and

performing superior to others was great.

Although I am humble on the outside in the way I speak and the way I act, underneath the

humility Im actually very cocky, which only makes my need to compete that much more

necessary. I live my life like the world is a wolf pack, and must keep an alpha mentality. I fought

to stay on top and have never been able to give half my effort on an assignment, or say good

enough because once I knew the top, I now cannot accept anything less. I have learned that its as

simple as this: the more you read, the more you know, and the more you know, the more

intelligent you are when compared to others. Knowledge is like gas in the literacy fuel tank of

my car that never stops running. To keep going in the direction I want I need to keep the gas

flowing in because the trip is never over. And to stop putting in gas would be to grind to a stop

and fail. My ego and fear of failure is what keeps me going.

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Perhaps the most satisfying, and most defining moment in my early stages of literacy was

the day of graduation from the 5th grade; the last day of elementary, the last day of being a little

kid. My school had a graduation ceremony and the first awards were various little medals such

as most athletic and most talented. These things were not based on concrete facts or any

intellectual measure, but the ceremony was clearly leading up to the bigger, more prestigious

awards. At the end of the ceremony, and in a matter of a couple of minutes, I won best boy in

mathematics, best boy in reading, and highest GPA. In my mind, and what I thought would be in

everyone elses mind, the valedictorian was the final crown, the biggest prize. But the final

award was "All-Around Boy". This was not an award that could be achieved academically, but

one that would be won by being the nicest. Due to my well-established academic reputation (and

freshly awarded medals), all my peers with their elementary logic sitting around me told me Oh

dude, youre going to win! Who else could win? I did not win, and ironically the blind faculty

and staff selected the school bully. I earned my awards through hard work and honesty, and they

chose the bully as the nicest kid? This moment taught me that this trophy meant nothing, and the

voters made a consensus decision based on nothing more than opinion. Sitting in the cafeteria

with all my peers watching the school bully receive this award on the stage fueled a fire inside

me. This day taught me to never care what others think of me and that no one knows my plan and

my motives like me. This day taught me that nothing was more satisfying than to know that I

was undisputedly the smartest in the school. This day made me feel my skills will take me

somewhere in life. My level of literacy was superior to the rest, and the nice guy finished last.

The path to becoming a literate, functional young man in the society I live in was found

in the early years of my life. Any success I have is owed to the competition I created for myself

to never accept defeat, never worry about what others think, and never accept anything less than
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the best. Reading and writing in my little elementary classrooms was either blown off by lazy

students, or accepted as a challenge by students like myself.

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References

Alexie, S. (1997) . The Joy of Reading and Writing. Superman and Me. The Most

Wonderful Books: Writers on Discovering the Pleasures of Reading. Minneapolis. Milkweed

Editions, 1997. 3-6.