Intro:

Describe the kind of relationship you have with one of your parents or a close adult. (2-3
paragraphs)

I dont seem to have too big of a relationship with my parents. My Biological father went
missing after my younger brother was born, I was sent to Texas to live with my grandparents for
a while, then back up in Maine where I was basically fatherless. There is a male figure, my
step-father. However, he's never made any interest to want to be with me, bonding with me. It
all just seems like hes only interested in me for his interests. Which explains why I hate most
outdoor activities. I never felt like I had an actual father figure around who could be there for me.
Especially with me getting depression partly from my step parent (while not being able to find
someone in my life to love and feeling doubtful of my skills).
My mother and I are iffy at the worst of times. Often, she sides with my step-father on
most of the issues me and him butt heads about that are useless to me, but he would rather go
on about it for hours than just sit down and stop acting like a 3 year old tyrant thinking his
opinions matter and no one elses can challenge his Yup. Just about sums it up. Anyway,
getting past that, my mother often has a tendency to make me feel as bad as she is on her days
(either that or Im extremely empathetic), and I just end up having a bad day with her. I cant say
its unhealthy, unlike my relationship with my step-father. However, I dont feel like I have that
family relationship that so many other people seem to have to me. Thats what gets me. I feel
that often times I am not happy with my family. I have to act like I do half the time, and still I
cant even act. *Sigh* And not to say my mother is a bad parent, but she isnt really a good
parent, either.
Moving on, I just feel like Gen X (this generations parents) has come up with a load of
parents that cant really parent. Its like a facade. And its showing in kids, too. Now, dont get me
wrong. There are parents who do know how to be a, well, good parent. However, it feels like
there are more bad than good. I dont know if my parents are intentionally doing this to make me
driven to be a better parent for the time in the future or if its me or if they really havent done too
much to make me feel safe. My step-father is a power-hungry child tyrant that doesnt seem to
understand how being a parent works, and my mother seems to be the teachers pet, sort of
speak. Ive never really liked being up in Maine ever since I got here, and I dont know what the
future holds for me.

Exploring Relationships in Poetry:

Read ALL of the following poems, choose two to study. For the two that you select, respond to
the discussion questions that follow.
THE SECRET HEART
by R. Tristam Coffin

Across the years he could recall

His father one way best of all.
In the stillest hour of night
The boy awakened to a light.
Half in dreams, he saw his sire
With his great hands full of fire.
The man had struck a match to see
If his son slept peacefully.
He held his palms each side the spark
His love had kindled in the dark.
His two hands were curved apart
In the semblance of a heart.
He wore, it seemed to his small son,
A bare heart on his hidden one,
A heart that gave out such a glow
No son awake could bear to know.
It showed a look upon a face
Too tender for the day to trace.
One instant, it lit all about,
And then the secret heart went out.
But it shone long enough for one
To know that hands held up the sun .

Discussion Questions: What is your favorite passage? Why? What words does the speaker use
to describe the boy? the father? What might be the significance of the incident in the boy's life?
ie. why do you think it made a lasting impression?
He held his palms each side the spark
His love had kindled in the dark.
His two hands were curved apart
In the semblance of a heart.
This passage reminds me of the father I wish I had. Although very little of chance to happen
today, I never grew up with a father figure, despite the presence of my step-father, as I have
said earlier. It feels like the boy is seen as an adult, but only revisiting a memory he once shared
with his father. The father felt kind-hearted (in and out of context!), quiet, and gentle. Now, Im
not sure what you mean by incident (which is usually used negatively), but I see this as more of
a heart-warming story (pun not intended for once), which obviously seemed to make a long
lasting impression on the son seeing as he remembers such a memory in a benign sense that
the portrayal of his father isnt malicious or out of malignant parenting.
TAUGHT ME PURPLE
by Evelyn Tooley Hunt

My mother taught me purple

Although she never wore it.
Wash-gray was her circle,
The tenement her orbit.
My mother taught me golden
And held me up to see it,
Above the broken molding,
Beyond the filthy street.
My mother reached for beauty
And for its lack she died,
Who knew so much of duty
She could not teach me pride.

Discussion Questions: What is your favorite passage? Why? What words does the speaker use
to describe her mother? What values does the speaker mention?
My mother taught me purple
Although she never wore it.
Although I couldnt really portray what the author was saying, the general poem feels like the
mother didnt commit to bad actions, although she may have not taught her daughter a few
things. However, the author mentions a few things her mother did teach, although I dont
understand what exactly.

Now that you have discussed the poem, reread your first response about your
relationship with a parent. Write how the situation in the poems that youve selected is
similar to or different from your own life. (2-3 paragraphs)
Poems have a certain How should I say, angle towards my situation. In the first poem,
its completely different in that its a wish for a more ideal father figure in my younger years to
have around. The second poem gave me the feeling that the mother, despite being in a hard
place in terms of probably economics, still raised a daughter and try and keep the place they
lived at.
I wouldnt be able to directly tell how these poems describe my situation. If anything,
maybe the second one and how my mother raised 4 sons who came from a different
background and still find a husband after long years of bad luck finding someone to settle down
with. The first poem, again, would most likely represent a wish I have for a more ideal father
figure. However, since I never really had that much of a father figure besides the 2 years I spent
with my granddad in Texas, Its only a wish I had for the younger years as currently I dont need
one now.