4 THE GOLDEN YEARS All You Zombies— (1960) Robert A. Heinlein (b. 1907) Wells invention ofthe ftional device of the time machine i ‘one of the few toale now in the general writers it that orig hated with sence fiction. Boer since that invention, the pou Bilis for paradox ofered by time travel heve driven sence ‘etion writers and reader into happy frenis. Robert Heinlein’ All You Zombies a study ofthe ifitevchnes of a single character, i perhape the matt famous exploration of those peradoxes 2217 Time Zone V (EST) 7 Nor. 1910-NYC"Pop's Place": Twas polishing 2 brandy sift when the Unmarried Mother ame in 1 noted the time-I0:17 at, sone Be, or easter time, November 70h, 1970. Temporal agents always notice time and date; we mus “The Unmarried Mother wat a man twentyfve years old, no taller than I aun, cildoh fentores and touchy temper. didnt Tike his looks ever abut he was a lad ya here 10 ‘rit he was my boy. ave him my Dost arkeeps smile Maybe I'm too cital, He war'tswsh: his niéname came from what he always std when some noty «ype asked hin his line: "'m an unmarried mother” the felt les than murderous he would add: "at fur cents x word 1 write confesion stories” The felt nasty, he would wat for somebody to make some thing of it He had lethal ule of infighting like female cop one reson Iwanted him. Not the oy one pines ote thor. Heinlein You Zombie ey He hada lod on a his face showed that he despised peo- ple’ more than woul Silently 1 poured a double shot of Old Underwear and let the bore. He drank i poured another Tipe the bar top. “How's the ‘Unmarried Mother racket?" His finger tightened on the glas and he seemed about to thoy it at me; I elt forthe sap under the bar. In temporal ‘manipulation you ur to gure everything, Dut dere are #0 many ‘ctor that you never take neds sks ‘Taw him relax that sing amount they each you 1 watch for in the Burea's taining school. "Soy" 1 si. "Jus aking, ‘Hiows usines? Make i Hw the weather? Te looked sour, "Busines ie okay. Fre ‘em, they print ment” 1 poured myielf one, leaned toward ie. "Matter of fet" 1 said, "you write a nice alck-T've sampled a few. You have a8 ‘singly sure touch with the woman's angle twat lp Thad wo rik: he never admitted what pen-names he eed. Hut he wat boiled enough to pick up only the lst *Soman’s angle” he repeted with a sort. "Yeuh, 1 know ‘he woman's angle. shoul.” ‘So? std doubly "Siner” “No, You woul levee if tld you “Now, now.” Taniwered mildly, "bartenders and psychiatrists learn that nothing ir steanger shan wth. Why, son you heard the tries 1do~vwel you'd make youself ih Incredible You don't Know what ‘incredible means” “So? Nothing stones me I've always heard worse” He snorted gain. "Want wo bet the vest of the bot” "bet full ote" T placed ne on the bu. “Well” Lsgaaled my other bartender to handle the wade ‘We were atthe far end, + singlestool space that I Kept private by lung the ar top by ie with jars of pickled eggs and other Gutter, Aw were a¢ the other end watching the fights and Somebeay was playing the joke Box~prvate a a bed where we “okay” he gan, “to sae with, Fn a bastard” “No dninetion around here." Ysid. “Timean ie snapped. "My parents werent marred: ‘ll no dstineon "ssa. "Nelter were minewo THE GOLDEN YEARS When" He stopped, gave me the Gest warm look 1 ever saw on bie, "You mean that?” “to. A one hundred-prcen bastard. In fact” added, “no cone in my family ever marie All bastard “Olt.” I showed io him, “I jus looks ikea wedding ring, I wea tw Keep women of.” Te ram asique I bought in 65 from a fellow operative~he fd fetched it fom preChris- tian Crete. "The Worm Ourobores . the World Sake tht fats ie own cl Norever without end A symbol of the Great Paradox.” He barely glanced att“ you're sally a bastard, you know how ites, When wart ie" “sWupat®Tsad. "Did 1 hes you corey?” ‘Who's tling this wary? When T was a litle gist-Look, ever hear of Cistine Jorgenten? Or Raber Cowell?” “Uy sexchange xen? You're trying tell me “Dont interupe or avelp me, won’ tlk was a founding, lest at a orphanage in Cleveland ia 148 when T was a month ‘ld. When I wae a litle il, Tenved beds with parens. Then, trhen I leene about sex~and, believe me, Pop, you learn fst Jinan orphanage" “know.” ade 4 solemn vow that any bid of mine would have ‘oth a pop ands mon. kept me ‘pure; quite fet in that iciiey-t had eo lear to Sight to manage i Then got older in relied I stood dar lite ehanee of geting married for the sme reaton Ihadnt been adopted” He scowled. “Twas horse faced and buck toothed, f-chesed and sraight baled.” "You don't look any wore than Ido.” "Who cares how 2 burke looks? Or 2 writer? But people wanting 19 adopt pick litle Blueeyed goldemhaired. morons {iter on, the boys want bulging breasts, cute face, and an Oh: youwonierlubmale manner” He shrugged. "t could’ compete So decided to join the WE NCHLES “En? “Women's Emergency National Carp, Hospitality & Enter tainment Section, what they now call Space Angels™-Avsifiary ‘Narsing Group, Exrateresual Legions Ties both terms, once I had thems chronaed. We use sill _ Heinlein 1 You Zombie as hid mame, that lite military service corps: Women's Ho pitaliy Order Refortyng & Encouraging Spacemen. Vocab: far sit isthe worst hurdle in timejumpr—did you know that “fervce station” once meant 4 dispensary for petroleum frac sions? Once on an assignment in the Churchill Bra, a woman ssid to me, “Meet me at he service station next door”—which fot whats sounds; “service ston” (hen) woulda’ have 2 bed in it Hl went on: was when they first admitted you can't send sen into space for months and years and no lieve the tension, ‘You remeniber how the wowers sczeamed?—that improved my thance, since volunteers wee scarce. A gal had to be respectable, ‘refers irgin (hey Hed to train Uhm from srateh), above verge mentally, and wable emotionally. But mow volunteers tre old hookers or neurotic who would crack up ten dys off ath So ida’ need looks 1 they accepted me, they would fix my buck teth, puta wave in my har each me to walk and dance and how to nen to + man pleasingly, and everything ‘doe~plue taining forthe prime duties They wuld even we ple surgery it would help-noting 10 god for Our Boys “Best yet they made sure you didnt get pregnant during your enlvment-and you were almost certain to marry at the fd of your hit. Same way today, AN.G.ELS. marry spacers hey al the language "When Teas eighteen I was placed asa ‘mother's helper: “This family simply wanted» cheap servant but did't mind 11 couldn’ enlist ill Twas twentyone. 1 did housework and trent to night school-pretending to continve my high school ‘oping and shorthand but going toa charm css instead to be tery chances for enlistment "Ten I met this ly aicker with his hundred-dllar bil He somled. "The nogood actualy did havea wad of hundred olla ill, He showed me one night told me wo help mye “But I didn't Tike him He was the st man T ever met who was nice tome without trying games with me gut might ‘hoo! to ee him tener, twas the happen time of my il "Then one night inthe park ee gates began He stopped. Isai "And then?” “And then nothing! I never aw him again. He walked me“6 THE GOLDEN YEARS home and told me he loved mand Kise me goodnight and fpeverexme back” He looked grim. “ICT could Gnd him, Tl Pet “Wel” smpathied, "tRoow how you fe. Bu tiling must for Gog what omer natrally-hmm = Did ou strug “uh? What that goto do with “Quite abit Maybe he deserves 3 couple of broken arms for running ox ony, but "Hie deserves worse than that! Wait il you heat. Somehow 1 kept anyone from soipecting and decided it was all for the ‘ese T hadnt realy loved him ad probably would never love oybodj-and T'was more coger to join the WENGHES. than ever. I wasn't dngelied, they diet ast on vig. cheered wp, “Te went onl sy aki gpt tight that 1 ale.” ‘repeat “He had me higher nate! Thwe sini 1 ive with ‘gnored it slong 2 could work-then Kiked me out and the ‘Sphanage wouldn't take me Dac T landed in a charity ward Sthrounded by other big belies and troted edpans unl ty tine cme. ‘One night I found mse on an operting table, with & "f woke up in bed, mamb from the chest down. My surgeon came in, How do you feel he sys cherflly, Like a mam. “Naturally, Youre wrapped like one and fll of dope to cep yo numb. You get wellbut a Caeaean int » hang al: “caesarean, Tis Doc—di I love the bay "Ohno. Yout baby’ Be” “Oh, boy orgie? “Albay Hl gil Five pounds thre ounces "7 relaxed. Its something to have made a baby. tld my- sett {would go somewhere and tack "Ms on my name and let the Ld think her papa was dend—no orphanage for my Kid! put the surgeon wat talking, Tell me, wh—' He avoided my ‘name, "=i you ever think your glandular setup was od” Henle Al You Zombier— cd “Leal, Hoh? Of coume not, What are you driving a” He heated ‘Tl give you thir in one dose, hen 2 hypo to ee you sleep of your ites. You'l have'em. enWhy? T demanded. “Eyer hear ofthat Scotti physician who was female wat she was thirty Gve?—then Dad srgery and Beame lgely and ‘medically a man? Got marie, All ok. “What hat got to do with me? “woThats what Im saying, You've a man “Led tot wp. What "Take iets. When I opened you, I found a mes sent for the Chief of Surgery while T got the baby out, then we held 2 consultation with you on the tableand worked for hours to falvage what we cold. You had wo fll Sets of organs, both itnmature, ut with che female xt well enough developed for you to have 4 baby. They could ever be nay se to you again, to we took them out and rearranged things so that you an de- ‘elop properly asa man’ He put hand on me. ‘Don't ory Youre young, your bones will resdjut, we'll vatch your glan- ular baanee~and make a Soe young man ot of you “Latarted wo cry. ‘What about my baby” ‘Well, you can't nore her, you havent ilk enough for 2 Ikiten If T were you, I would see her=put er up for adop- a “He shrugged. “The choice i yours: you're her mother—vel Jer parent But don't worry now; we'l et you wel rst Rent diy they let me se the Kd and sa hee daly—trying to get wed to her Thad never seen a brandnew baby and ad Do iden ow afi they looky daughter looked like an orange ‘monkey, fy Telings changed to cold determination to do right Dy her, Bot four week ate that didn't mean anything” a "She was snatched.” ‘oatched?™ ‘The Unmarried Mother almost knocked over the Dotle we had bet. "Kidnapped-stolen from the horpital norseryl” He ‘besthed hard. "How's that for taking the last 2 man's got t0 Tie for?”i THE GOLDEN YEARS “A bad dea” I agseed “Les pour you another. Nose” athing the poles could race. Somtbdy cme ote chimed tof het ance. While he mune ad et bak one feted out wt er “Dern? “ncn na, with a fc shaped fae he your or mine” He frontal ah wa be tye bee Toe ese fav an olter man bat be probly ned abcop. Who she ‘oul swe my bay? Chile women pal ch wons-bet Mower herd ding “ha hppened to you en “leven more mon of tox grim pce and tee opr: som Infor mont {aed lows bn: blr Twa vt 1's hin ean a ong oe a a tle: Heptanet wry“ ming down mr eke “walt meme tome you exe though olay, Hee you aes normal man making good mony ntl olen [nth ite seas oa ty oe Tepined nme “Aloe you know about it "F eh he expen aie women “Nim ys og, Dos est ch os.” “Twn une ss woman ct be; tha wm el rane sne-l asa longer a oman ant Tie Low hw 0 ee “ate peng md, pone” “ae ne on ig wt eso sot walking into the wrong rt room, Ilene shoe oval, Bu how ould Tv! What jo could Te Hell Covkd' een drive a1 id’ know tee; Toad do ‘wana ier—tw mech ca ene, oo ter “Thaced hin for hing ain efor the WENCH, sco, bar did ow how ch ual Iie jon the Space {Sie ead, One lk nny ely ae marked tor Sify seve. The mee fer eee Jo om ‘ois fen ed about y ee So ehnged my mt and eam o New Yor. goby a8 try cook then ned» pwr sd ee my up a = ple ‘vor vats ugh In foor om | yp oar eter Helnein/Al You Zombies — “ And one manos: The manssript was fr Real Lie Teles fd waste of paper, but the got who wees ita Which {ve me ane T ought 2 sch Ol eoneion maine ae ‘died them." He looked cial “Now you know how T pe {he athe woman's angle on sn pared other ny ‘tough the only verion Ihave okie tue ene Do ti the bet pushed it toward him. 1 was upset mys, but there was ‘wrk fo do. I sid Son, you Tull want te ay hands om dat andor Hiseyes lighted ups fert gleam. "Hold iT. "You wouldnt He chudled nay "ry we “Take ices. know more about thn you think 1 do. can help you, TRaow where ei ‘He enched cron the ba, "Where ihe” Tsai sty, "Let go my shit, fonny-or youl lad in he siley an wel tell the eps you fined towed hi the wp “elec go. "Sor. But where fs he” He looked t me "Ad tow do you bnow enue “Allin good ine, There ae recorder record, o phanage rears, medical reco The maton of your opin Sega a Fete? She wos iweb is ren stein=rigt? Your name, gil, was Janeth? Aad ou i tell ean of ehieright : ‘had him bled anda it cred, “What's his? You ey ‘to make trouble for me?” oe No indeed. I've your wefire at heart. 1 can put his cha acter in your ap. You do to his ou ce Bevan T guarantee that yo gt sway mith i. TG think oul il hs You'd be mats to-and you arent mats Not quite” etre ead. "Cut the noe, Wheve he” pour i short oe he ras don bt ang wa secting i "Not wo as do something Tor you-you do ome ‘thing for me.” me ioe poy 2 wha “You du ke your wok. What woud ous to high pay, steady wor, unlimited expenic acco your ow bat on he jobsand los otvaiey and advnuae?™ is0 THE GOLDEN YEARS He stared. "T my, Get those goddam reindeer off my root” shove i Pop-thete's no sch job” “Okay, put it tie way: I hand him to you, you sete with him, they my jobs HC ies not all Tlaimewel, Tea hold oa He was wavering “img” he maid thickly. He shoved out his hand, "ts deal” “ifiten deal-right now!” node to myst watch both ends, noted the time— 200 arte to duck though the gate under the bar—when the juke bow blared outs "Tin My Own Grandpaw!” The service tna had orders load it with Americana and cases because T Coulda’ stomach the “mc” of 170, but T hadn't known that tape was int T called out, “Shot that of Give the casomer his ‘money back” 1 added, "Soreroom, tack in a momen,” and beaded there wih my Unmarsed Mother following "Teas down the pstage acros om the johns,» steel dor to which no one but my day manager ad syselé Bad » Key: side Wasa doorto.an inne rot to which only I had a hey. We went there He looked blearly around 2t windowless walls. "Where it’? PRight away” I pened a cate, the ony thing inthe room: it was 8 USFF. Coordinates Transformer Field Kit, series 1982, Med. 1-1 beauty, no moving pars, weight wentyhree Hos fully charged and shaped to pet ab 3 sultese. Thad adjosted it precisely ever hat day; all Thad to do was to shake out the etal net which Kimi dhe wansformaton fel ‘Which di. “Wha that?” he demanded "Time machine" Ist and ted the net over ws. Hey!" he yelled an eps back. There sa technique to thie the net as to Be thrown 90 thatthe subject wll intinc tively step bick onto the metal sesh, then you clove the nec swith both of you inside completely—eie you might leave shoe {oles behind of 1 pier of foo, oF Scoop up a lice of for. But ‘hats all the sil fakes. Some agents con subject into the tts Tell the truth and ue tha fstant of ter astonishment to ip the switch, Which Idi, ‘thelist drink id it, "When yu iver Heinlein A You Zombies an 1090-VE-$ April 1958—Clereland, ObioApex Bldgs “Hey!” he repented. “Take this damn thing of “Sony,” apologised and dil so, stud the net into the ave, dosed it You said you wanted to fnd him.” ut=you si shat waste machine! 1 pointed out a window. "Does that look tlhe Novernber? (Or New York?” While he wat gawking at pew buds and spring Weather, I reopened the cue, took out 2 packet of hundred- Uotlar bil, checked thatthe numbers and sigatures were com publ with 198, The Temporal Bureau doesnt care how much Jou spend (jt come nothing) but they don't Tike unnecestry Anachronism, Too many mistakes, and a general court martial wile you fora year ins nasty period, say 1874 with i mit. TRtioning and forced Inbor. Teer sake such mistakes, the ‘money wa okay He turned around and sid, “What happened” Hes here. Co outside and take him. Here's expense money 1 shoved en him ad added, "Sette him, then 1 pick you up ‘undietdolar bills ve a hypnotic eect on a perion not ‘wed to them, He wat thumbing them unbelievingly st eased him into the ball, locke him out. The next jump was 8y, 8 sual shi ner ‘100:VE10 March 1964Cleveland-Apex Big. There was no- ce under the door saying that my lene explted next week; ‘otherwise the room loked att had a moment before. Outside revs were bave aad snow threatened: I humid, stopping only {or contemporary money and a coat, hat, and toptoat Thad Tetethere when I fesed the soot, I hited # ca, weat tothe how. pital. wok twenty minutes to bote the norery attendant (0 fhe point where I could mvp the baby without being node ‘We went back tothe Apex Building. This dil setting was more Involved, asthe building did not yet ext in 1045. Bue T had precalelated ie (0100-V120 Sep. 145—Cleveland Skyview Move: Feld kit, baby, find Tarrved in a mowel outside town, Pasir 1 had registered "Gregory Johmon, Warren, Oho." so we arrived in a roommn THE GOLDEN YEARS with curtains closed, windows locked, and doors bolted, and he Foor cleared to allow for waver atthe machine bunts You con ‘et 8 nay bruise from a chair where i shouldn't benot the ‘hai, of cure, Dut backlash rom the eld. "No touble. Jane wat sleeping soundly 1 cari her out, put her ina grocery box onthe seat of at I had provided easier, ‘rove to the erphanage, put er on the wep, drove two locks toa "iervie ston” (the petroleum produce srt) and phoned the orphanage, drove back In time to see thea taking the box inside, kept going and abandoned the car neat the motel walked tt and jamped forward to dhe Apex Building i 1968 2200-V1.24 April 1963-Cleveland Apex Mig: I had cu the time rather fne-temporal accuracy depends on span, excep ot turn to aero. IT had ft ght Jane was dicovering, ot inthe patk this balmy spring nigh, chat she wast quite es “nice” elas she had thought I grabbed a taxi tothe home of those ‘Kinin, had the hacke wat around » corner while I urked ia sadows. Presently I spotted them down the street arms around each other. He took her upon the poreh and made long jo of Kit Ing her goodsnight-longer than I thought. Then she went in and he came down che walk turned away Isl ito step and hooked an arm in his. “That al, son” 1 announced quiet my back 0 pck you up.” "You? He gasped and caught his breath “Me. Now you know who he f-and alter you think it over yow't know who you are. and if you thivk hard enough, oul gue out who the baby x= «and who Jam. "le didn't answer, he war badly shaken, I+ sock to ave 4k proved to you that you can't resis seducing yourelt 1 took htt the Apex Building and we jumped again O0-VILE- Aug. 1985—Sub Rockies Bate: I woke the duty ser feant, showed my LD. told the sergeant to bed sy companion flown witha happy pill and recruit hi fn the morning, The Sergeant looked sour, but rank i ank, regard of ert he di ‘what Tsaid-thinking, no doubt thatthe next tie we met he Heinen (AL You Zombie s Imight be the eoloel and I the sergeant, Which can happen in ‘our corp. "What name?” he ake. T wrote tout. He ase his eyebrow. “Like so, eh? Hmm" "ou just do you job, Sergeant.” 1 torned to my companion “Son, your woubles are over. YouTe sbout to start the best Joba man ever held—ad you'll do well! koa” “That you will” agread th sergeant. “Look at me—born ia 1817—sul around, sl young, wil enjoying life” I went back ‘othe jump room, set everything on preselected 20. 2301-V-7 Nov. 1970-NYCPops Paces I came out of the sore. oom careyng sffth of Drambuie to account forthe minute T Ina been gone. My sistant was arguing withthe eastomer Wo had been paying “Tm My Own Grandpaw!” I sd, "Oh, let him play den unplagi" Twas very ted Tes rough, but somebody must doe and ies very hard to re crit anyone in the Later years singe the Mistake of 72. Can you ‘think of «beter source tha to pick people all fouled up where they ate and give dhem wellpid intereting (even though dam eros) work in a necenary cae? Everybody kas now wy {he File War of 1958 fase. The bomb with New Yorks mute ber on ie didn't go of, a hundred other things didn't go a plannedwallaranged by the likes of me. ‘But not the Mistake of "72; that one i not our faultand can't be undone; there’ no paradox to rece. A thing either {sor isn't, now and forever amen. But there won't be another Tike it an order dated "1092" takes precedence any yar T loved five minute eaty leaving alter in the each regiter telling my day manager tha Iwas acepting his offer to buy me fut, so ace my lamyer at I nat Iesving on 8 long vacation, The Bareau might or might nt pick up his payment, but they want things Tet tidy. went tothe room batk of the streroom and forward wo 1998 2200.V1L12 Jan, 1999-Sub Rockies Annex HQ Temporal DOL: 1 checked im withthe duty ofcer and went to my quarters, in tending wo sleep for a week. I had fetched the bottle we Bet (ater al 1 won it) and ook a drink before I wrote my Yep“ THE GOLDEN YEARS 1 ake foul and 1 wondered why Thad evr liked O1d Under. dren But it was beter than nothing: don ike 10 be col {ober think too mach, Bue don't really hie the bot either: ‘ther people have nahes-I have people diated my report frty rearitnens all okayed by the yeh Bureaucounting my own, which I Knew would. be haved. Twas Here, aunt I? Then taped a request for asin tment to operations; Twat ick of recruiting T dropped both in the slot ad headed fr bed My eye fell on "The By-Laws of Tie," over sy bed [Never Bo Yesteray What Should Be Done Tomorrow, at Last You Do Suceed, Never Try Ags. ‘A Stith in Tie Seves Nine Billion 4s Paradox May be Poradotored. thts Earer When You Think Ancestors Are ust People ‘Been Jove Nod. “They didn't inspire me the way they had when Twas a 26: cuit thirty subjeciveyears of timejumping wears you down. undresed and when 1 got down to the hide I Joked at my telly A Cacenea lees ig scar but Tm so Dalry now that 1 on ate i unless lok fri "Then I glanced athe ring on my ge. ‘The Snake That Eate Is Own Tall, Forever and Ever «. «T Ihnow where 1 come frona~ut where dd ll you zombies come front T fle «headache coming on, but a headache powder is one thing Tdo ao tae. {dd onee-and you all wen aay ‘ST erawled nto bed and whisded out the ight. You avert realy thereat al There isn't anybody but me— Jane~ete alone inthe dark 1 mis you deadly Pohl/Ea geen a8 Earth Eighteen (1966) Frederik Pohl (b. 1919) ‘The science fiction ghetto had its own concerns and fed itelf on ite oun tradition, but, like most outgroup, it echeved defi tiom by repeated contrast wth the ingroup. The folowing satire ofthe America ofits day i intended to tee jst those people ‘Tho would ol fot be likely to read ii order to give & Tene of pleasent stperority ta thore who would. One conte quence of the hay incet ofthe golden years wat the frequent Fetona wasting ofthe real world landzegpe in which the ghetto “This tovey yay beeween Lon Angeles snd Old Nuva York it mong the most picurenue of Earth’ planetary routes, From an to West one retraces the sepr ofthe exty Sodbosters, oF ‘Okie, following the nanhing herds of bufalo toward That Grent Gold Strike in Hollywood. From West to Fast one par aly follows the path ofthe Annihilation Felipe of “8. Rich fm Mitra asoctations, superb in ite natural beauties, Earth 1 is justly famed a5 plestant and inexpensive vacation toa forthe whowe budgets do not petit something beet. (tm, Farh 18 begins atthe ancent village of F1 Pueblo «ae Nuestra Senora Ia Reina de Los Angeles, once the Ingest (2 tea) community on thi continent and now a seement of Some 1000 human beings admaisteed as a Vegan naval ave Cinder the ‘Treaty of Capella XV. Atte time ofthe Occwpation eprined ypeminon oft ator fm Digs and Dads by Pree a toe Copa 90 Fee Pl —