Ben Nash and Lauren Munro

ILLYRIAN TIMES
Counseled
Questions
"A dear man has come to me
trying to give me the hand of a
duke, but I do not wish to love this
duke. Rather, I have fallen for the
man who comes to me on behalf
of the duke. He tells me all that I
wish to hear and I do really like
him Is it so wrong that I shall love
him?"

From what I seem to hear,

your new found love for this
man is in no wrong. If you do
not love the duke, you mustn't
marry him- its as simple as that.

Although it is
understandable that this love
may upset the duke, it is not in
your worries that you might
upset him. If they may be, any
slight disputes may be settled
between the man and the
duke, you shall not be
involved.
Lastly, make sure you truly
love this man before wasting
the duke's love. Is this man
everything you think he is?
Public Enemy Detained
The Illyrian public enemy Antonio was detained this
morning by Illyrian law ocers. Antonio is widely regarded
as a pirate and an enemy of Duke Orsino. He was spotted in
an altercation with two men before he was arrested and
taken away, unable to post bail. He has been deemed insane
and has yet to be prosecuted.
When Antonio was questioned as to why he risked
arrest by coming to Illyria, he explained that he could not
bear to be apart from a man named Sebastian who was
traveling to the area. The status of his relationship with
Sebastian remains undisclosed, but an anonymous source
has informed the Times that Antonio is most likely a
homosexual. Upon arrest, Antonio asked one of the
strangers at the scene for his purse in order for him to
post bail. He asserts that the man he addressed was his

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Ben Nash and Lauren Munro
Marriage
Announcement
Behold Illyria, the
newest couple is among
us. Lady Olivia has
taken Sir Sebastian's
hand in marriage. After
a long confusion of Sir
Cesario's true identity,
who turned out to be
Sebastian's twin sister
Viola, Sir Sebastian and
Lady Olivia have joined
together in holy
matrimony. Olivia spent
much of her time
chasing after Cesario's
love, but after
discovering that Cesario
was in fact Viola, she fell
happily in love with
Sebastian.
companion, Sebastian, to whom he had given his purse
earlier. The man, in reality named Cesario, confirmed with
reporters that he has never met Antonio and knew nothing
about the purse.
Antonio is in the custody of Illyrian ocers and will be
brought before Duke Orsino later today. His claims and
behavior upon detainment have led authorities to believe
that he is in fact insane. His companion Sebastian could not
be located for questioning.
Malvolio's Mind
'Tis But a Prank, Brother!
Not long ago I was contemplating my aspirations to
rise in the ranks of life, to marry my mistress who I love,
and to put and end to the idiocy that I am surrounded by
daily. Apparently in response to my innermost desires, I
came across a letter penned by my mistress, clearly implying
that my love for her ran both ways and that I would be the
one to marry her. She gave me suggestions as to what I
might do to please her, and I followed them explicitly,
seeking her favor. After reading the letter I had a new spring
in my step, but the other asinine servants swore I was
possessed by the devil and locked me in a dark room. I was
visited by the fool who was absolutely ridiculous in his
questioning and gave me no chance whatsoever to prove my
sanity. When I was finally released, I implored of my
mistress as to why she would lead me on only to leave me in
pain. She did not know what I spoke of, but the fool
revealed that the letter and all the subsequent events were
part of a ridiculously stupid and quite hurtful practical joke.
To have a laugh at the pain you inflict on another is
despicable. The servants below me have gone as low as one
can go, and I must say I'm hardly surprised.